Spyke

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478 replies

Steve I guess? Unless it's my own minecraft skin :3 either way if we take the feats the minecraft character is capable at face value..

65

Edit: i just realised you wake up in the body, not the world. Too bad, i put to much effort in it now.

How am i going to play Minecraft without fingers?

43

Factorio....... I am immortal. I can build nukes with my hands and my raw might can construct nuclear reactors.

33

Helldivers 2. I'm in trouble. But at least it won't last long.

26

Monster Hunter World.

First thing I'd do is head directly to the canteen and get something served by those cat chefs, because that food looks insanely delicious.

26

Everybody is going to be really confused by the fact that Tony Hawk can’t skateboard for shit anymore.

22

I can now finally dash in eight directions, they told me this would happen if I transitioned

20

Elite Dangerous. I should be fine as long as I stick to trading common materials. I’m screwed if I get caught by a pirate though.

15

Commando, Risk of Rain 2. Canonically, I'm trapped in a simulacrum of Petrichor, a planet inhabited by creatures who regard me as an invader. Even though I can "escape" and make my way back to Earth, every time I die (no matter where or how), I awaken back in my escape pod, crash-landing on Petrichor.

I can pretty consistently get the ending where Commando escapes, so I guess my strat is to escape to Earth and enjoy the simulacrum for as long as I can before dying again. Canonically, this happens at least once, so there's no reason it couldn't be done repeatedly. Perhaps not the most fulfilling existence, but the best that can be achieved under the circumstances, I think.

The alternative is to obliterate myself in a portal or be killed by the denizens of Petrichor and start over again anyway. May as well have a few years of "peace" and "happiness" between spawns.

15

Project zomboid with 200% zombie spawn...

Guessing a survival time of approx 10 mins?

14

Noita. I'm either dead almost instantly, or might be lucky and end up as powerful as a god. I usually die within the first 5 minutes, so my hopes are low. I am also more than likely to see my demise by blowing myself up.

13

Disco Elysium. Fucked... far and near, far and wide, from end to end, from start to finish, from the word go... fucked. Fully fucked.

12

Satisfactory....

that bitch AI aint going anywhere! I'll keep that last part until she agrees to take me with her and those alien AI's

DON'T LEAVE ME WITH THESE FUCKING SPIDERS

12

Project Zomboid..... I'll just drink the bleach instead of going through that.

11

it's day 54. I'm going insane. These weird looking anthropomorphic animals. They constantly talk gibberish, yet they can write letters in proper English. A raccoon gave me a tent to sleep in yet there is no toilet, no shower, not even a kitchen, but now I owe him 100k in bells whatever that is. There are no other people here. I tried to leave by train but i keep ending up at a different village that is almost exactly the same as mine, same creepy animals, same houses. There is always one human in each village, but I don't think they have a soul. They don't even talk, they are just dead behind their creepy smiles. Will I end up like them? This owl wants me to find bugs and fossils I think, it's the only thing that is keeping me distracted while I plot my escape.

10

Forza Horizon 6. I’m…absurdly wealthy and have multiple homes and like 260 cars, several of which are worth millions of dollars. Oh and I’m a KICKASS driver who can somehow rewind time when he fucks up.

AND I’M IN JAPAN.

Life is good.

Edit: BUT…my beard is gone, because apparently facial hair doesn’t exist in the world of Forza Horizon. 😢

10

X-Com: Terror from the Deep. Life expectancy of a Russian soldier in Ukraine.

10

No Man's Sky. Casually travelling through a universe with over 18 quintillion planets sounds awesome.

10

Eve online.. I'm an effectively immortal capsuleer, so I got that going for me

10

Disco Elysium: I'm hungover, I threaten to kill myself for information, I don't remember anything from last night. I'm doing fine.

9

I've been playing Gran Turismo 3 so I guess I'm invisible and drive a Miata very poorly?

9

The last game I played was "Timberborn", and that one is a city builder, so the three possibilities would be: A) I become some kind of floating entity giving orders to beavers. B) I become one of the aforementioned beavers. C) it defaults to the game I played before that, which would be "Look Outside". In which case I'm probably fucked.

9

Completely fucked. I'm the sole survivor of a crash and stuck on 4546B.

8

Oh crap, I’m now a Void Elf mage in world of Warcraft. Actually I’m probably pretty good, every time I die in get resurrected and I’ve got a great ass, so cool. I’m also now a woman, so I don’t know if that’s gonna be like a reverse gender disphoria thing or not.

8

Fields of Mistria, so a quaint town where I've got a shot with a witch that's very femme and domme coded. Hell yeah

7

The Ascent. I am now an indentured servant sanitation worker with a poor sense of self-preservation, but just so happens to be really good with a gun. Oh, and the arcology that is my home has been thrown into complete pandemonium because the head Corpo AGI shit the bed.

7

Palworld, not really sure how fucked i would be, but i did anger a big grassy elephant and got the shit stomped out of me the first time i played it and even with all the knowledge there are so many ways to die on the island, burning, electrocution, freezing or just ripped apart by wolves or blown up by exploding bees...

7

There's a little known record of a man named Henry during the medieval period of Bohemia who, one day, went absolutely mad, started talking to everyone while picking flowers repeatedly until he couldn't carry any more because it was "legge day" and turned to alchemy. He apparently kept drinking a type of schnapps that he claimed would "keep him alive forever".

6

Tears of the Kingdom, so if you'll excuse me I have to go build a wacky contraption.

6

Death's Door. A cute game with beautiful, but somber and hostile, environments. I'm probably fucked.

6

Elden Ring… Idk if i could force myself to eat a raw dragon heart but without dragon communion spells, I know I’ll die much more frequently

6

Well, Vegas wait for me, 'cause the fucking mailman with brain damage and a apple watch who can fucking pause time is comming to clean up your fucking cassinos...

6

On one side I become a young girl with a large debt to pay or I’ll be homeless if I don’t pay each week.

On the other side I can pay the mortgage in just one month reselling stuff, sometimes at 200% of the base price.

Capitalism, Ho!

6

Skyrim.

Oh yeah, the world is going to fear my stealth archery powers.

6

Doom Eternal. On the one hand it's literal hell on earth, on the other — Doomguy seems to be some sort of rage god. I'd say my chances are quite fair to say the least.

6

Been playing Suzerain as a socialist President.. it has been so nice and has genuinely brought a smile to my face reading some of the in game news articles of my choices.

::: spoiler Tap for spoiler The Radical is not as radical as I thought in the beginning of the game. It’s like if Jeff Bezos bought the NYT in the in-game world. I rolled my eyes so hard after they had been agreeing with me the few hours I had in it, before that article that disagreed with my decision made me wonder who was running it! :::

6

There are no main characters in Rimworld, but I now very, very worry for my organs. The only grace is, I play my colonies as nicely to everyone is possible, so I just hope I'm one of those nice successful ones, that is friendly to everyone, and is swimming in silver selling beer, lavish meals, and drugs to everyone around. And not one of the hundreds died of a mad squirrel scratch in the first quadrum

6

I'm the little purple alchemist from Noita (See my avatar) and I probably have about 15 minutes before I am torn to bloody giblets by one of my own ill-placed explosives. On the bright side, I'm putting explosives everywhere.

5

Papers Please. I think I could do that job better in person. I would be fine, but my memories would bite me in the ass twenty years later.

5

Freeciv. So... Conqueror of the world?

Fear not. I will be a benevolent ruler. Maximum luxuries for all my citizens. I will even let you pretend to have a democracy, much like your current rulers do today.

5

Madeline from Celeste, guess it's time for a rather voilent but much needed therapy session. Unless I also wake up in the current mod I am playing (Darkmoon Ruins), when I am fucked and will never escape (last room hard qwq)

5

Looks like I'm Zagreus from the game Hades. So probably not too bad off, because while I can still die, I'm also immortal.

Other than Hades himself being rather unpleasant, the House of Hades actually doesn't seem like a bad place to be, and the no violence rule means it should be relatively safe.

However, there is no escape.

5

Wordle? not good. I get to do have 10m of fun every 24 hours.

Wait, that's not notably different then IRL right now and i get to do nothing for 23+ hours.

5

Batman Arkham Asylum... damn guess I'm getting drugged by Scarecrow and being forced to deal with supressed childhood memories while lunatics try and attack me 😭

5

Well, I could either never die (Starship Simulator), or die before I'm level 12 (Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup). I'd hope to be on the ship, lol, exploring

5

So I will be a necromancer in Elder Scrolls Online. Coolio, I just got to remember not to resurrect anything near towns, lol

5

40k is one of the worst settings to wake up in, but being a Rogue Trader is not that bad.

5

A CT or terrorist from Counter Strike Source? That does not seem ideal...

5

Shin Megami Tensei III: Nocturne.

I think being the protag is arguably the best scenario here, assuming I survive the tutorial. The rest of y'all are very fucked, though.

5

workers and resources: soviet republic, currently in the year 1927 so i'm stalin rn.

5

Fire emblem three houses. So pretty awesome as lady Byleth, depending on the choice i make. But no matter what im a super powered advisor to a world leader witha hit girlfriend (Dorothea).

5

Monster Hunter World. Assuming I have the physical abilities of a hunter, I'd do alright. If not, then I'm fucked

5

Anyone playing space Marine 2? On one hand fucking space Marine. On the other hand... Fucking space Marine.

5

Project Zomboid. Oof. 800+ hours and I still suck at it. I'll be dead within a month.

Edit: This is how you died.

5

The Witcher 3 for me. Being Garalt doesn't seem so bad, but I'm going to have a lot more scars than normal. Fucking witches and killing monsters sounds like a good life.

5

It might’ve been a specific type of adult game.

I’ll be all right. And, ironically, very fucked.

5

Snowrunner. I guess I'm running out of fuel in a mud bog out in the wilderness somewhere then dying of exposure.

4

bob in gtnh, so i can create everything and finally automate all those annoying chores (like cleaning the flat or tidy up)!

4

A helldiver. It'll be exciting, but that means I have a life expectancy of roughly 20 minutes on average.... With my skill set it'll be closer to 30 seconds.

4

Project Zomboid.
Oh well.. closes curtains, starts ripping up old clothes and turns on TV.

4

Superhot.

I guess I'm made of red glass polygons. But time stops if I stop moving.

4

Palworld. My little minmaxxed Jolthog is gonna fuck my enemies up!

4

Palworld. Given the records of all the dead people on the islands and the entries about how the pals are, possibly pretty fucked.

4

I'm now sora from kingdom hearts, I have no clue if that's good or bad since I've never really played the game before

4

My new life goal would be just one directive: "The factory... MUST... GROW!!!!!1"

4

I'd wake up in creative mode Minecraft with zero hostile mobs, so I think I'd be good. Just fly around and build my world. ✌🏻

4

Genshin Impact, so pretty much as good as I could have gotten - basically-human near-immortal young adult interstellar traveler with superpowers.

I'm just not sure whether I was piloting my fiance's account or mine last, so I might end up as Lumine instead of Aether... oh, well. Still pretty good.

4

Looks like I'm getting thrown into the role of a Red Army soldier during the battle of Seelow Heights. RIP

4

Haha, I'm playing through Mina the Hollower. I get to be a cute mouse girl, but live in a terrifying world full of monsters. Sorry Lionel, I changed my mind about repairing the spark generators. I'm just going to stay in town and hang out, if ya don't mind.

4

Dicey Dungeon. I'm rather fucked.

Currently have all episodes completed except 5 from the Witch and 3 from the Jester.

4

Expedition 33. Not sure if that means I'm going to be Verso or Maelle. Either way I get to hang out with Esquie all day so I'm good with it.

4

Recettear. If it means I can just reset from day one every time I fail, I'm going to be stuck in an infinite loop of capitalism hell. So, I guess it's a slight improvement over real life.

4

Slay the Spire 2. I do NOT want to be infinitely killed, memory-wiped, and resurrected

4

Can it be the exact play through? My family and I are playing through the Pokémon series from 1-7 on hacked ds'. We're doing a sort of meta thing there we can carry Pokemon we beat the game with between games, we just have to reset their level each time. We can also pick any Pokemon as a starter, and if we bring 10 Pokemon of the type we like and 10 with move we want, we can cheat a move.

I just made my childhood proud by finally beating Pokemon blue with ghastly/haunter/gengar as my starter. She got to learn payday along the way.

4

Damn... This will be hell... Repeating the same day over and over until I snap and become the most hurtful person to my most loved ppl. At least the ending is good when it finally ends.

In stars and time

4

So I'm a helldiver with an expected lifespan of 30 seconds. Ay least being shot in a big bullet sounds fun.

4

Well shit, I was playing dying light 2 yesterday. It's mildly better than the other game I've been playing Pathogenic which is a rogue lite where you play a pathogen trying to kill the scientist who made you in a lab.

Think I'm pretty screwed either way to be honest. At least I'm dying light 2 I get to be human and do parkour so that's cool.

4

Among Us.

I'm so dead. And I'll be expected to finish the workday even after I'm dead. Worst. Work environment. Ever.

4

HBS Battletech.

Not too bad actually. I'm late enough in the campaign that I'm rolling with multiple heavies and assaults, have something like 120 million C-bills, all my pilots are maxed out, and have Star League tech in almost every chassis.

4

Factorio engineer. All shall bow before my might, British trains will finally arrive on time and HS2 with be completed overnight. Along with about 30 more high speed railways. Although they will all be carrying the products of industry and weapons. NIMBYs will be exterminated with extreme prejudice by an army of spidertrons.

The grid will be carbon neutral by the end of the week and power will be so plentiful as to be free. ISS will suddenly be dwarfed by an enormous orbiting megafactory.

World peace assured through guaranteed destruction to any resistance.

4

Turing Complete's main character was abducted by aliens, who threaten to kill them if they don't prove intelligent by learning how to build a computer.

3

so glad I started playing Dispatch after I did a few rounds of Helldivers 2 last night

3

Well, I'll be a legend for the ages, but will die at Hoover Dam.

So...both?

3

Building a factory on an alien planet and also I'm a girl. So pretty much perfect.

3

I guess I'm a young woman now, if we go by the art of Metal Bringer.

3

The last game I played was "Fuck's Quest II", so I'm definitely "Fuck".

3

The Finals lore is a horrid dystopian wasteland, but atleast I get pretty cool VR, r-right guys..?

3

Tarkov. I'm done for. The only thing going for me is my hideout is built up so technically I can live off bitcoin farming and have traders deliver me food until it all blows over.

3

War thunder......

There is no protagonist. I just keep getting shot down in planes or blown up in tanks. Not a good life.

3

I’m a flying, brittle, fuel inefficient vehicle zooming around in traffic attempting to not crash and fall apart.

For context, the game was “Hovercraft: build, fly, retry”

I am so fucked

3

Dang I only play cdda and I constantly die because I get bored and rush heading into dangerous situations

3

Granblue relink? Am I Djeeta cuz that’s what I picked or do I become male captain whatever his name is? Or do I get to pick?

Idk if I have her abilities and sheer luck then I’m fine. If not, I could probably make a life in folca and be ok.

3

I'm a 16 year old girl who is in charge of a dutchy centered I'm the Sakhalin islands. If all goes well I will live a long life and die as a queen. There's a chance I'll fall off my horse and die when I'm 18 like my mother though....

3

Think tuberculosis isn't as bad a diagnosis anymore than it was back then.

3

Last game I played was surviving the aftermath, which is a survival base builder sort of thing. So I’m just a standard regular person with meh traits.

The amount of fucked depends on what context I’m spawning in. In reality? Meh. In the game itself? Vaguely fucked, being more fucked as the population grows. In another reality with different rules and stuff? Ultrafucked.

3

Final Fantasy XIV. While the world falls apart around me, I’m gonna go fishing.

3

WW2 Rebuilder. I'd be fine, just traumatized, and wealthy since I'd be able to take advantage of the boomer economy.

3

Does Monster Train 2 have a main character?

If not that, then Paralives, and then I'm just me again except successful and less lazy

3

Awesome, I just got a fancy new hat and learned Avada Kedavra. Gonna zoom around on my broom for a while

3

The last game I played was Sawayama Solitaire in the Zachtronics Solitaire Collection, and sometimes I’ll just deal Sawayama on my table with actual cards, so I figure my life is carrying on precisely like this.

Quite the opposite of playing, say, Soma, which would fuck someone up the mostiest.

3

I just got to an epilogue for 1000xResist this morning. Ummm, I'm not even sure which character is really the main character. Blue is a good candidate. I guess I'm experiencing multiple people's trauma and then deciding what the future will be like.

All in all, there are certainly worse positions to be in.

3

Paralives.
The upside is that I somehow managed to buy a furnished two bedroom house for less than 30k in cash.
The downside is that my cooking is so bad that I manage to screw up making a cup of instant noodles.

3

Frontiers of Pandora. I'm a 10ft tall blue chick. Navigating the house is going to be interesting.

3

The operator in Nucleares. I think I will be okay for a few months... But the clock is not on my side, especially if it runs my difficulty settings.

3

I get to be a caricature of myself with a ton of pals to conquer my enemies with and a kick ass floating base in the ocean!!!

3

Armored Core VI is a FromSoft game. Fortunately, not quite as bad as the Usury Simulator of prior editions. But I'm still ghost-in-a-shell working odd jobs in war zones to afford a new human body. So, I'm thinking I'm pretty deeply fucked.

3

Cult of the lamb.

Well I'm a cult leader which is nice, but I have a pact with the Devil, so long term fucked?

3

I beat The Ascent last night so I'm a cool cyberpunk lady who was just "promoted" to independent contractor. I'm no longer under the thumb of yCorp, I have a deep bank account, and I have a large stockpile of weapons and augs. For living in a cyberpunk dystopia I'm honestly doing pretty great!

3

Hmm, the emperor Beld, resurrected for the sole purpose of killing the evil Goddess Cardice by the grand Wizard Wart; but due to some magical shenanigans ::: spoiler spoiler I will be locked into an impasse which will cause her to resurrect, as well as myself (a stipulation of my resurrection is that it would cease upon completing my task of killing the Goddess). :::

Considering it's pretty easy to make the main character insanely overpowered, I'll be in a pretty comfortable position. My biggest issue will be that it was the Japanese version, and I don't know Japanese. 🤔

3

Whelp, it was Rimworld.

So I guess I'm only legit surviving for a little while (so long as I have a table to eat at of course), and then I'm irrevocably fucked unless some organs can be harvested from unwilling prisoners.

Then I might be okay.

3

I'm waking up as my custom character on a private Palworld testing server. I'm gonna be doing great. I have two excellently built bases that don't even need me for the most part.

3

Idk the main character cause I was playing Crusader Kings III and I’m way bad at it so I would be hella fucked my bros.

3

I played Rivals of Aether two, so I guess I would be my last played character? I played as Orcane, so I'm a really happy water puppy. I wish T_T

3

Looks like I get to be some sort of digital antivirus kinda furry-esque thing from Kila-flow. No problem since the worst that ever happens is I lose all my health and restart at either the beginning of the level or last checkpoint.

Shouldn't feel any pain from any enemies or obstacles considering I'd be all digital, so sign me up. Just gotta hope that beating the final boss would let me return home.

Better that than my time in either Mindustry or Pokemon Rejuvenation. Don't feel like being a disposable hover vehicle or the protagonist of Rejuvenation for reasons I can't get into due to major spoilers!

3

Well in that case I'm gonna turn into a puppygirl (my last game was deadlock, where I played Paige and I got a custom skin, that turns her into a puppygirl.

3

Oh thank the gods! I last played the Sims 4 as a best-selling author. Before that was Kills-your-ass, my argonian assassin from Skyrim, who's quirk is she can't help but pick fights with giants, so she died a lot.

3

Quake 4, so I'm Corporal Matthew Kane. Hopefully, post stroggification? Half human, half machine.

3

As in I wake up as the character or wake up in the same place as them as the character?

Last game I played was Green Hell, so if I wake up in the Amazon, I think I'll be dead pretty quickly.

If I just wake up as Jake, I should be okay if I didn't go to sleep with worms, parasites, leeches, poisoned or a bite by a venomous creature.

Sidenote: Is venomed a real word?

3

My character in FFXIV. So a god slaying, world saving cat girl. Wouldn't be too bad I guess.

If it has to be singleplayer games, Ryder in Mass Effect Andromeda. Exploring a new galaxy in a cool space ship? Also not too bad.

3

Tiny Glade. No "characters" as such aside from the ducks and sheep but my latest creation is pretty idyllic.

Before that, it was Forza Horizon 6 which... yeah I'd happily live in that word too.

3

Well... I've changes genders now... Instead of being a Systems administrator who builds networks and infrastructure. I'm a redheaded boss bitch destroying robot dinosaurs with a bow and arrow.

3

Mad Max Rockatansky.

A supreme badass in a S/M - flavoured post-apocalyptic wasteland. I guess it's time to embrace the "mad" part.

2

I am a pioneer, who is kinda immortal in satisfactory, I don't know what would that change, probably would improve my health, but idk what gender is the pioneer from satisfactory.

2

Hades II, so probably moderately fucked, will probably die as an unintended consequence of the gods fighting.

2

Well, last game was fallout 4 so... Kind of okay I guess? I mean I did side with the institute and all my settlements are maxed for people and have more than 150 in defense, 40 water at most, and over 50 food. So I have people, healthcare, an army (technically 2, minutemen)

2

Yesss!!! I was playing dungeons and dragons but with online spread sheets and 2D map. I am now a young cute paladin.

2

I actually don't remember... So I might be a Spanish pirate working for the French in the 1640s and I have been made a baron and I got lots of land and a mountain of gold... I think I am doing fine in a world without flush toilets.

2

Awesome: I am basically extremely superhuman in almost every way, and can wield magic once I learn it. Expanded body and mind capacity that persists through loops.

Horrible: Stuck in a time loop in a shadow realm, and the gods don't like me very much. Life in the loop is slow, tedious, painstaking. I am still my moron self, who would take forever to achieve the same feats as the character, and with a lot less pain tolerance. Some sort of deal with dark gods was made, in return for giving them (others) souls, who knows what the consequences are (besides being sent to the shadow realm).

Yeah, I'd just keep expanding my body and mind permanently, until nothing is impossible, including slaying the gods. But I would probably do something typically lame as fuck instead, like go on the good path and live in Valhala for as long as possible.

EDIT: Nwm, I played superhero idle simulator or something, the power collecting one. I'm damn fucked, also timeloops and always a stronger fish. No vacations, just beating up weak villians at best.

2

Cyberpunk, so like a way cooler looking version of me with blade arms and a double jump. I’m down, that fucks hard.

2

The Commander? In Terra Invicta??? idk how to run a secret society!

2

I'm commander Shepherd, and this is my favorite timeline in the Citadel

2

Warhammer 40,000: Darktide. So yeah, I'm super fucked.

Although, I would be a cyborg (Skitarii) with a pretty sweet collection of servo skulls and a cool weapon, so I've got that going for me.

2

I'm a Red Lizzard, stealthy as fuck, skilled in pickpocketing, lock picking, and backstabbing. Also I'm basically a demi-god.

I think I'm pretty good

2

Gallipoli. Good: Silly Aussie Accent. Light machine gun. Beautiful beaches. Bad: Literally in the middle of WWI on Gallipoli. Suboptimal.

2

MT Foxtrox/Empty Fuck/John Cruelty (depends on who you ask)

If I decide to fish for the rest of my life, I'm gonna be ok, otherwise it's gonna be misery. I can't handle seeing the game's pigs in "real life". They're scary enough through the screen, thank you very much.

2

It was a Maximo game for the PS2, I don't remember which but I'm screwed if I can't figure out how to keep my armor on.

2

Outer wilds. I’m literally ::: spoiler Spoiler Dead at the end of the universe :::

2

Well, going to own some very successful bookstores, or have a decently successful device repair shop. (Bookshop Simulator and ReStory) Thankfully you didn't ask this tomorrow when I start up my next Stalker 2 play through...I'd be pretty damn fucked.

2

Grim Dawn, so not great. I would probably be the greatest fighter the world has ever seen, main character and whatnot, but I also have to live through an old gods induced apocalypse and spend all day slaughtering demons and other nasty things.

2

Sable, so I have a hoverbike and also I can kind of fly, and there are no enemies in my world. Good thing I played that in between now and Half-Life Alyx.

2

I'm replaying Portal, so I guess I'm a chick now. Do I get the portal gun? That would make it pretty awesome.

2

I now rule over a sizable chunk of the Latium province, with modest holdings in Albion as well.

::: spoiler reveal Anno 117 :::

2

Vintage Story, sooo bad?

Well I get revived everytime I die but I will a whole lot.

2