: "Trains that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing;
: Only a signal shown and a distant voice in the darkness;
: So on the tracks of life we pass and speak one another,
: Only a look and a voice; then darkness again and a silence."
Say what you will about Idiocracy, but President Camacho knew his country was suffering a problem and he found the smartest man in the world, hired him, and put him to work to resolve it. If only we could get Trump to care this much.
Robin Hood, but modernized as a 21st-century hacker type so that he can cope in today's world. But I'd still like him to look like he belongs in an edgy 90s movie, complete with green tights, for authenticity's sake.
Yeah, that’s an obvious choice, but I like his character more than his superpowers. He’s civil and polite to various world governments, but ultimately, there’s no stopping him from doing the right thing.
If he’s too powerful and that’s a negative to you, substitute Captain America. The same reasoning applies.
Maybe an unpopular opinion, and I only know the MCU version of Captain America, but he gave me republican vibes (conservative, puritan, trying to make a coup if he believes he's right, ...)
And yes I do realize that originally he was created as the ultimate antifa warrior
Still gets me every time. The best Dwarfs call each-other as each introduces themselves. And that Vimes introduced himself this way in an un-filtered moment implies it matters to him, deep inside.
The Doctor from Doctor Who. It'd be nice to think we were all being simultaneously respected, cared for, and defended by someone smarter and kinder than most of us.
While a good choice, I don't feel warm and fuzzy about the prospect of being turned into some horror creature goop because I happened to walk down the wrong alley.
almost all the GOD in media portrays very similar to the bible ones, cruel, amoral, highly apathetic, and wrathful, probably as way to not upset snowflake christian viewers.
But also because that's the only way evil in the story can actually exist, and thus actually reflect the suffering and conflict in real life. The Triple-O God can't exist, as evidenced by gestures at everything
Even if the Christian God was real, Omnibenevolence is the first characteristic to be dropped, as the Bible already depicts a cruel, wrathful, egotistical and petty God.
I was going to say that I kind of wish The Devil existed, because then we would know that truly horrible people would eventually face damnation, and in a way it's nice to imagine that cosmic justice could exist.
He was pretty nazi, in the Ubermensch sense of the word. A godlike, infallible upstanding moral (white) American, spreading peace through violence, as a blatant propaganda tool to sell people on the supremacy of the American dream and American exceptionalism.
Sam Raimi's version of Spider-Man. He's an agent of the common man, and obviously someone with super powers would be amazing. However he isn't so powerful that he couldn't be subdued if he were to become evil. The only problem is I don't live in NYC...
Samwise Gamgee, Gandalf, and Aragorn from LOTR. Or just basically every sage/wise archetype character in stories. Need their wisdom to help me get thru life to prevent me from falling into another depressive episode.
R2D2. Would like a robot friend that makes funny beeps and boops sounds so I won't be sad 24/7.
Leon Kennedy from Resident Evil (game), Dante and Vergil from Devil May Cry (game). They seem cool and are badass.
When Coop was suspended Truman deputized him into the Twin Peaks Sheriff's department so he could continue the case. Cooper's allegiance is to decency and not any particular office.
It's been a while, but I think people were still able to commit suicide if they just couldn't cope with the prospect of utopia. And I think stuff like boxing was OK. Just not torturing, beating or killing people you didn't like.
Any of the Minds from Iain M. Banks Culture series, because that would mean the Culture was real and I want to live there.
I guess for a specific one, maybe the Arbitrary? That one seems pretty chill and knows where Earth is:
Also while I'd been away, the ship had sent a request on a postcard to the BBC's World Service, asking for 'Mr David Bowie's "Space Oddity" for the good ship Arbitrary and all who sail in her.' (This from a machine that could have swamped Earth's entire electro-magnetic spectrum with whatever the hell it wanted from somewhere beyond Betelgeuse.) It didn't get the request played. The ship thought this was hilarious.
Player of Games is actually considered one of the better entries in the series, generally. That said, most of his books have a different feel to them, they're not so much a series as a bunch of books in the same universe. So you might try something else. Going by publication order helps understand the universe building, but it's not required for you to grasp the plot of the books.
This characters punches are as powerful as nukes, can survive being hit by several nukes, has nearly indestructible arms, can fly really fast, being able to reach space in seconds, has managed to invent interplanetary teleportation, knows about the afterlife, even making an ability that prevents people he killed from coming back to life, can destroy the observable universe by concentrating for a minute and does not require food, water or oxygen
I’ll go with an obscure one and say TRON. I think it would be really incredible if there was an actual sentient program on my computer that worked actively to maintain, improve, and secure my system.
We get a limited view of that on the movies, but I would really enjoy being able to just open communication with the computer directly and ask it to help with complex work.
Feel like God would have fit this sentiment better. There's a decent amount of historical evidence for Jesus himself to my understanding (not the supernatural stuff attributed to him so much, but moreso that there was a guy the various stories were based off of). But an actual benevolent diety would probably make for a more pleasant world than what we have to deal with, probably why so many people care so strongly about the idea and want to believe it I'd imagine.
Have you read the bible? God is an unhinged maniac. He told people to cut their dick skin off, threatened zombies, OK'd slavery, drowned everyone because they were partying too hard, set everyone on fire because they were partying too hard, told women to obey men, tortured his #1 fan for funzies, called Israel a whore who sold herself to big-dicked Egyptians, non-consentually impregnated some guy's wife, killed the kid, then brought the kid back to life, made a guy eat bread cooked over burning shit for I think a year? Told Adam and Eve to make incest babies and turned us all into incest babies, made an awesome fruit tree no one's allowed to touch, let the Jews make soulless clay monsters, gave his angels an extra set of wings just to cover their genitals, which I think means angels can fuck.
Idk I think without the new testament, the Bible is kind of a drag. I like the idea of redemption much more than an unknowable, complicated, emotionally volitile sky-god. And when I refer to Jesus I mean the Christ who died and came back to life to fulfill the prophesy. I'm sure there was at least one rabbi named Jesus out there, but without the metaphysical (fictional) stuff I quickly lose interest.
I'm talking about the Christ who died and was reborn to fulfill the prophesy, not a rabbi from Nazareth named Jesus. I imagine there was more than one man named Jesus, more than one rabbi, more than one temple smashing rabble rouser. None of them performed miracles, none of them were reborn, that's fiction. Do you not understand the difference?
Satan. Would be nice if all the shitty decisions in my life could be sloped off onto some malevolent thing created by an all knowing god only to be evil.
The actress is real and sincere and just about as naive. But she was parodying Hillary Clinton, who was in reality deeply cynical and corrupt and malicious.
One of them came within a hair's breath of the Presidency and it wasn't Amy Poehler.
There are a lot of answers I could go for, but I am gonna have to say having a Death Note Shinigami in our world would be cool, so long as I find the Death Note and it's in an area with little to no cameras outside of satellites.
Besides the normal politicians/rich/people in power, I'm sure everyone here knows someone, either personally or not, that they think should kick the bucket. I am no different. So, there's a good chance I would take a few lives, have the pages I used burned to hide my tracks, and then relinquish the notebook to ensure I have a clean conscience. Especially since I would forget ever having any involvement since I would forget ever having done any of it IIRC.
Oh that's not fair, Leslie Knope is the public servant we all deserve.
I'll throw in a few.
I want Dr. Cox and JD to be my medical team, the two of them would do everything they could.
I want my local burger shop to be Bob's.
And I wish Captain Holt was a real police commissioner.
I would not wish reality on bob.
Holt is a treasure!
"Wunch time is OVER! Bam, got it both ways."
Vin-di-CATION!
I don’t know who you are, but I feel like we should be friends.
Two trains passing in the night...
: "Trains that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing;
: Only a signal shown and a distant voice in the darkness;
: So on the tracks of life we pass and speak one another,
: Only a look and a voice; then darkness again and a silence."
Just leave This song link here. No judgement.
We are actually watching Brooklyn 99 right now!
99!
Great show
I hope you're having fun. Because I specifically requested it.
The president from the West Wing. You know a politician who cared and did the right things despite optics
It's too depressing watching that show
Also John Goodman's character, Speaker of the House I believe, he was an honorable Republican. Pure fiction that show.
He immediately came in and started trying to cut taxes. Also was in a massive rush to drop bombs on countries. Not sure he was that fictional.
He was honourable.
Realistic show.
John Goodman is such a boss, what a fan fucking tastic actor. Magical.
His body of work is incredible. His work with the Coen Brothers alone is amazing.
And instead we get politicians worse than VEEP. Ouch.
Far worse
Oh, that’s a good one!
Mr. Smith from Mr. Smith Goes to Washington for even more stars in the eyes.
Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho
Say what you will about Idiocracy, but President Camacho knew his country was suffering a problem and he found the smartest man in the world, hired him, and put him to work to resolve it. If only we could get Trump to care this much.
He also tried to execute him, but yeah, generally cool.
Robin Hood, but modernized as a 21st-century hacker type so that he can cope in today's world. But I'd still like him to look like he belongs in an edgy 90s movie, complete with green tights, for authenticity's sake.
Elliot (Mr Robot)
Hacker Robin Hood obvs. rocking programmer socks
Superman.
Yeah, that’s an obvious choice, but I like his character more than his superpowers. He’s civil and polite to various world governments, but ultimately, there’s no stopping him from doing the right thing.
If he’s too powerful and that’s a negative to you, substitute Captain America. The same reasoning applies.
World could use a good guy right now.
Maybe an unpopular opinion, and I only know the MCU version of Captain America, but he gave me republican vibes (conservative, puritan, trying to make a coup if he believes he's right, ...)
And yes I do realize that originally he was created as the ultimate antifa warrior
Yeah original comics Captain America would be called a woke commie by most MCU fans nowadays.
You stole my answer. Save us Superman!
Luthen Rael from Star Wars Andor. We need people like him right now.
Many exist like him, we just don’t see them BECAUSE they’re like him
We could always use at least one more.
God damn Andor really is the only good thing that came out of star wars in the last 10 years or even more
Rogue One came out 9 years ago
Bad Batch was better in my opinion
Samuel Vimes commander of the Ankh-Morpork city watch (and Detritus so people have no choice but to do as he says).
Ahem!
His Grace, His Excellency, The Duke of Ankh, Commander Sir Samuel Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch (and Blackboard Monitor)
Still gets me every time. The best Dwarfs call each-other as each introduces themselves. And that Vimes introduced himself this way in an un-filtered moment implies it matters to him, deep inside.
My Canadian girlfriend.
The Doctor from Doctor Who. It'd be nice to think we were all being simultaneously respected, cared for, and defended by someone smarter and kinder than most of us.
While a good choice, I don't feel warm and fuzzy about the prospect of being turned into some horror creature goop because I happened to walk down the wrong alley.
I wouldn't want to attract his/her enemies.
The person I know I could be.
There’s still time…
Vaporeon.
Whelp, that's my internet quota for the day.
Agree, but I was think more like the Greek gods. They're far more interesting.
That happens like, once per century tops.
You can reason with Greek gods. I appreciate that.
almost all the GOD in media portrays very similar to the bible ones, cruel, amoral, highly apathetic, and wrathful, probably as way to not upset snowflake christian viewers.
But also because that's the only way evil in the story can actually exist, and thus actually reflect the suffering and conflict in real life. The Triple-O God can't exist, as evidenced by gestures at everything
Even if the Christian God was real, Omnibenevolence is the first characteristic to be dropped, as the Bible already depicts a cruel, wrathful, egotistical and petty God.
Yeah, would be nice if there actually was someone looking out for you...
I was going to say that I kind of wish The Devil existed, because then we would know that truly horrible people would eventually face damnation, and in a way it's nice to imagine that cosmic justice could exist.
"Good" is a fickle word
"Evil" is likewise fickle.
i'm glad you wrote it before i did : your take is much more detailed and thaurough than mine on this idea.
Like a personal god who would always be there to chat and help you out, that would be nice too.
Superman bc he was created originally to fight Nazis.
I am not too deep into the lore of Superman, but is it possible that you mean Captain America? Or is there something about Superman and nazis?
Superman was created in 1938, so it's not surprising that he'd end up fighting Nazis within a few issues
As I recall it, the original Superman concept was a kind of inversion of the Nazi Ubermensch ideal. Pretty sure that's where the name came from.
In 1938, when Hitler's (Nazi) racism was rising in Europe, two Jewish guys created Superman in response. His Krypton name is Hebrew.
https://leviathanjewishjournal.com/2016/12/05/kal-el-vessel-of-god-the-jewish-tradition-of-superman/
He at least took out the KKK. And helped do that irl
Pretty nazi character tho
The word you are looking for is didactic. He was very didactic, indeed. But didn't kill or jail people or deny human rights bc of color or religion.
He was pretty nazi, in the Ubermensch sense of the word. A godlike, infallible upstanding moral (white) American, spreading peace through violence, as a blatant propaganda tool to sell people on the supremacy of the American dream and American exceptionalism.
Never heard that definition put so well. Maybe you should add it to the urban dictionary.
Dictionaries should stay apolitical, even the urban ones.
Ted Lasso
We all need that kind of positivity
Fred Rogers was Ted Lasso, from what I've heard. Relentlessly encouraging, always on-mission, no dark side.
Captain planet (he's our hero) (gonna take pollution down to zero)!
We could really, really use an environmentalist power that isn't beholden to any nation or company.
"Turn off the faucet between usages and recycle those plastics, or else I'll turn you into a fuckin' tree!"
Victor von Doom.
If we're going for authoritarianism, at least let's have someone competent in charge.
The famously competent Dr. Doom, who put scalding hot metal directly onto his face because he was in such a rush to become a cool mask guy?
The Monarch has more "W"s under his belt than Doc Vic.
How about the Kharak?
The what now?
Crimson King, lovely fella.
Seems to be something from that SCP thing?
What does that have to do with anything?
Did you reply to the wrong post?
Don't even try to pull that shit on me.
I seriously have no idea what you're going on about, but you're starting to sound like you forgot to take some kind of medication.
All of the good guys; none of the bad guys. Except Bebop and Rocksteady. They're not so bad without Shredder and Krang.
Sam Raimi's version of Spider-Man. He's an agent of the common man, and obviously someone with super powers would be amazing. However he isn't so powerful that he couldn't be subdued if he were to become evil. The only problem is I don't live in NYC...
He was always supposed to be exactly that.
Spidey
Everett True - ![email protected]
Is there a fictional character that kills billionaires? If so then that one.
"The Death"
The thing. Indiscriminately.
In fact I think this may have already happened.
It's in charge. And a billionaire.
Lieutenant Commander Data.
God would be interesting.
see comment by user "Sterile_Technique" above (same idea but better developed)
Samwise Gamgee, Gandalf, and Aragorn from LOTR. Or just basically every sage/wise archetype character in stories. Need their wisdom to help me get thru life to prevent me from falling into another depressive episode.
R2D2. Would like a robot friend that makes funny beeps and boops sounds so I won't be sad 24/7.
Leon Kennedy from Resident Evil (game), Dante and Vergil from Devil May Cry (game). They seem cool and are badass.
Smoking some pipeweed with gandalf would be sick Radagast and tom bobadil also have to bethere!
Might as well include every Hobbit and elf in the Tolkien universe to the list, too! Living in The Shire would be nice :)
I would rather life with the wood elfs to be honest
Dale Cooper
Best I can do is Dale Gribble
You mean Rusty Shackleford?
Would agent Cooper be taking orders from Kash Patel and hunting Antifa for the FBI or would he resign and do his own thing?
When Coop was suspended Truman deputized him into the Twin Peaks Sheriff's department so he could continue the case. Cooper's allegiance is to decency and not any particular office.
Good point, forgot about that
Depends whether he's been in the black lodge yet or not
Santa Claus. I can't believe no one say Santa Claus.
Because he's real???
But he is real
We make him real
Cthulhu. There is only one way to properly cleanse this world.
Not true. You can also wake Azatoth up.
Azatoth, what dagoth ur wishes he was.
I'm more of a Marduk guy myself
Me having a good day
Hope you have some good days ahead of you bro.
🤝
I'll take the hyper-intelligent, godlike alien from Rejoice, A Knife to the Heart who makes violence impossible and gives everyone free food.
When you say "impossible" does that mean even the voluntary violence is a no-go?
It's been a while, but I think people were still able to commit suicide if they just couldn't cope with the prospect of utopia. And I think stuff like boxing was OK. Just not torturing, beating or killing people you didn't like.
I hope not I can only orgasm while I’m being beaten half to death.
For me it’s 32.33% to death. Repeating, of course.
No more Swedish massages!
Any of the Minds from Iain M. Banks Culture series, because that would mean the Culture was real and I want to live there.
I guess for a specific one, maybe the Arbitrary? That one seems pretty chill and knows where Earth is:
The Culture does not get mentioned enough. I'm hoping it gets made into a TV series one day, to get additional visibility.
(An actual adaptation, not whatever tf they did to WoT and the Foundation).
I'm having a hard time getting though the player of games. Is it good? Should I skip it for a later entry?
Player of Games is actually considered one of the better entries in the series, generally. That said, most of his books have a different feel to them, they're not so much a series as a bunch of books in the same universe. So you might try something else. Going by publication order helps understand the universe building, but it's not required for you to grasp the plot of the books.
I'll push forward some more, I'm just not vibing with the beginning. It'll have to wait for Moby dick to finish tho, that's a pretty good book.
This was going to be my answer - one of the ships from the Culture could actually form the Culture for us and let us live in it
The GCU Grey Area (AKA Meatfucker) would indeed come in handy, these days...
trogdor, but instead of burninating the pesants, he burninates the aristocracy.
Kim Wexler
Rhea Seehorn has a new show starting soon on Apple + streaming. "Pluribus" was created by the Better Call Saul/Breaking Bad team.
This is the best thing I’ve seen all day, even better than Dick Cheney dying.
Roland Deschain, the Gunslinger from The Dark Tower. I'd like to see what he'd do in a present-day USA.
Probably rob a gun store and throw someone in front of a subway train like he did in 80s USA
Newman from Seinfeld. For no other reason than I think Wayne Knight is a really great character actor
It's be fun to have a nemesis like that. Nothing life threatening or too evil, just enough where you'd turn and say, "Newman".
So you're saying what you really want is for Wayne Knight to be real
Yeah, more real to me. What I'm saying is that I want to party with Wayne Knight
Like Jennifer Anniston in Ben Stiller Show replacement The Edge
Sometimes Winnie the Pooh. Sometimes Cthulhu.
Cthulhu the Pooh?
Motoko Kusanagi.
How, is she when she doesn't surf?
I wonder what she does when she wakes up.
...
How, does she so perfectly surf?
...
She's incredible math.
My dad
As Leslie Knope is already taken, I choose Susan Sto Helit. It would have been so fun to be in her class, too.
Jared Keeso is pretty much Wayne or Shoresy in real life. I suggest you let that marinate.
Pitter patter.
That was well brought up, too bad you weren't
To be fair.
To be fair
Cthulhu, if only to mix up the goddamn headlines for a bit.
Ancient god of dreaming & a good sleep, hentai adjacent even.
Wait, hentai adjacent in what way?
Lewd tentacle way.
I would suggest image search, but ...
I guess
God.
... the good and forgiving one. Not the other.
Optimus Prime. I wish giant robot dad was around to fix mine and the world's problems.
Jill Valentine, I want her to peg me.
I think I've seen that one
Not a person, but a place. Namely the prison from Red Dwarf where everything you do to someone else, you did to yourself.
Also Cat
Def Cat.
I'm glad he was able to find his real calling as a tropical island police officer, though.
Robin Hood.
Totoro.
happy cake day!
G.I. Robot, kinda obvious why
Don't think one G.I. robot would suffice, we kinda would need an army of them.
With that said, he had a somewhat overly general view of what a nazi was and could become a problem once all Nazi's where dealt with.
A really good "people first in mind" politician. But that's only in fairy tales.
The Great Sage, Heaven's Equal, the handsome monkey king Sun Wukong.
Not sure he'd care to fix things, but it would be different if there was a benevolent unbeatable power in the world.
The Thing
I hadn't heard of Leslie Knope. I looked her up and ok, but Archibald Tuttle from Brazil is more my style. Heh.
Ooh, you are in for a treat my friend. Parks and Recreation is a modern classic.
The first season is a bit rough. But once Adam Scott joins the cast, it becomes legendary.
To provide balance. It's fine, but basically un-rewatchable
I get why you say that, but I disagree.
I can't watch the last season or two but the rest is very rewatchable.
This characters punches are as powerful as nukes, can survive being hit by several nukes, has nearly indestructible arms, can fly really fast, being able to reach space in seconds, has managed to invent interplanetary teleportation, knows about the afterlife, even making an ability that prevents people he killed from coming back to life, can destroy the observable universe by concentrating for a minute and does not require food, water or oxygen
The planet he ruled seemed pretty peaceful
A nice variant of a genie could also work
What property is this?
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFstEviWuJT3oGE8Vcz2WrFrjf6rdw8HD
The character appears here and here in an actual fight
Fortunately, nobody said Goku as an answer
Looks like bad hair day Enderman
Both of them are very tall
Man I wish Jerma was real
I wish I was real.
😕
Jackalope
I’ll go with an obscure one and say TRON. I think it would be really incredible if there was an actual sentient program on my computer that worked actively to maintain, improve, and secure my system.
We get a limited view of that on the movies, but I would really enjoy being able to just open communication with the computer directly and ask it to help with complex work.
Essentially AGI instead of LLM.
Wouldn't you want the MCP and not TRON? Or does TRON become the MCP?
I think he ends up the MCP, he does in Kingdom Hearts at least
The Vision.
Indestructible, level-headed, compassionate mind-reader? All the world's big problems would be solved overnight.
(Assuming no Corvus Glaive)
My XL Shiny Lopunny
😏
Jesus
Feel like God would have fit this sentiment better. There's a decent amount of historical evidence for Jesus himself to my understanding (not the supernatural stuff attributed to him so much, but moreso that there was a guy the various stories were based off of). But an actual benevolent diety would probably make for a more pleasant world than what we have to deal with, probably why so many people care so strongly about the idea and want to believe it I'd imagine.
Have you read the bible? God is an unhinged maniac. He told people to cut their dick skin off, threatened zombies, OK'd slavery, drowned everyone because they were partying too hard, set everyone on fire because they were partying too hard, told women to obey men, tortured his #1 fan for funzies, called Israel a whore who sold herself to big-dicked Egyptians, non-consentually impregnated some guy's wife, killed the kid, then brought the kid back to life, made a guy eat bread cooked over burning shit for I think a year? Told Adam and Eve to make incest babies and turned us all into incest babies, made an awesome fruit tree no one's allowed to touch, let the Jews make soulless clay monsters, gave his angels an extra set of wings just to cover their genitals, which I think means angels can fuck.
So yeah. I'm down with bringing God IRL.
Killing all those kids when their parents didn't blood-paint their doors should have been a major red flag. We keep him out of schools for a reason.
Who the fuck is Ernest P. fucking Worrell?
Idk I think without the new testament, the Bible is kind of a drag. I like the idea of redemption much more than an unknowable, complicated, emotionally volitile sky-god. And when I refer to Jesus I mean the Christ who died and came back to life to fulfill the prophesy. I'm sure there was at least one rabbi named Jesus out there, but without the metaphysical (fictional) stuff I quickly lose interest.
Eight year olds, dude!
It said fictional
Well, I hate to break it to you...
I hate to break it to you, but Jesus is a historically verified human being.
I'm talking about the Christ who died and was reborn to fulfill the prophesy, not a rabbi from Nazareth named Jesus. I imagine there was more than one man named Jesus, more than one rabbi, more than one temple smashing rabble rouser. None of them performed miracles, none of them were reborn, that's fiction. Do you not understand the difference?
phantom thieves of hearts
metro version of totoro
april o'neal and lois lane: they often get into trouble so i think they are doing their jobs right
austin powers, johnny english
Ann Takamaki intensifies.
she's a real sweetheart.
Nah, she's a fictional sweetheart, but would be nice if she were real.
oh, right. there's that wish that needs to happen.
V. Rather give me anarchy if our shitty government is the alternative.
Does R18 stuff count or no?
Dr. Doom
Satan. Would be nice if all the shitty decisions in my life could be sloped off onto some malevolent thing created by an all knowing god only to be evil.
she's basically real she's just like her character and she has a podcast i think
The actress is real and sincere and just about as naive. But she was parodying Hillary Clinton, who was in reality deeply cynical and corrupt and malicious.
One of them came within a hair's breath of the Presidency and it wasn't Amy Poehler.
You wish were* real
https://www.grammarly.com/blog/commonly-confused-words/was-vs-were/
I am living in you're walls
I'm one human, not several walls
What if God was one of us?
Hecate
If we're bringing in mythical feminine icons, you can't top the OG Mother-Maiden-Crone.
Thanos.
Doctor Who could whisk me away for a few adventures.
The Doctor is a harbenger of death. People die or are maimed around him quite frequently.
Worth the risk. People die or are maimed by cars everyday, at least the Doctor will be more fun.
Worth it for the adventure. Also companions have a far better survival rate than randos.
superman
Don juan
Prometheus
Jesus
He would be branded a communist and deported.
"What crazy kinda Spanish is this a-rab talkin?"
"Uh, that's Aramaic, sir."
"Ara-what-now? Tell'm to speak English, like in the Bible."
The Punisher.
lots of motherfuckers in this world need to get what's owed to them.
Leslie Knope would be in prison, if she were real. She commits a new ethics violation damn near every episode.
God
see comment by user "Sterile_Technique" above (same idea but better developed)
The Punisher
Jeb Bartlett
Helen Keller
"If she can't see me, I can't see her!"
Are you a ravenous bugblatter beast of traal?
There are a lot of answers I could go for, but I am gonna have to say having a Death Note Shinigami in our world would be cool, so long as I find the Death Note and it's in an area with little to no cameras outside of satellites.
Besides the normal politicians/rich/people in power, I'm sure everyone here knows someone, either personally or not, that they think should kick the bucket. I am no different. So, there's a good chance I would take a few lives, have the pages I used burned to hide my tracks, and then relinquish the notebook to ensure I have a clean conscience. Especially since I would forget ever having any involvement since I would forget ever having done any of it IIRC.
Galactus or Thanos
Major edgelord answer
Thanos is a moron
Oh no, there's no solution! Uses god powers to kill everybody
Homelander