My girlfriend-at-the-time's dirty, dirty ass. Thought it would be like in my fantasies, where it tastes like candyfloss and smells like a Yankee candle. Nope. Shit. Just shit.
If you're curious, shit tastes exactly as it smells. I wish I didn’t know that. Although I'm happy that now you, too, know that.
And she had the nerve to dump me later. I deserve a Nobel peace prize for not recoiling in horror and instead just powering through in silence like a fucking GENTLEMAN.
On the bright side, it became a great way to ensure future partners were cognisant of the issue. I'd drop it into the usual "what was your ex like?" gossip sessions that come with new relationships. It's like saying "please wash your various holes if I'm gonna go rooting around in them like an ant-fiending aardvark" without actually saying it. A cautionary fable from days of yore to guide the next generation.
P.S. I'm still pro-anilingus. Just... clean the fuckin' thing first. I don't need to be picking dingleberries from between my teeth, thanks.
I made a reply a while back about catching H. Pilori from eating ass ... but I didn't realise at the time what had got in my mouth ... I just can't understand doing that intentionally.
I have only experienced the smell while having sex. We went out and after getting home I guess she took a shit and in her drunken state didn't wipe properly cause we went after it doggy style and my god did I smell some dookie. We were both drunk and, you know, I liked her, so I powered through it. But it's still a very memorable night.
I remember a food chemist telling me that one of their hardest problems was making things that smell and taste good to dogs and cats, but didn't smell too gross for the humans.
The stuff I used to give my cat was fine, but she had kidney disease now and is on a prescription canned-only diet. The new stuff smells gross and it makes her poop smell much worse.
No, that was not it at all, according to her. It's that things that smell really good to the animals don't generally smell good to humans. She said it would be really easy to make food the animals would be excited about, but their owners would open the can and it would smell bad, so they didn't want to buy any more of it.
I've tried both wet and dry cat food. The wet food was very bad, but still relatively edible. It was also the one I expected to be good (it was one of those really expensive and premium brands). The dry food, however, tasted exactly like fried anchovies. It wasn't bad, honestly.
Edit: I've also tried dog cookies. Most of them are bland, because their main ingredient is actually ash. I don't know how healthy that is. They're also pretty hard. However, there's a specific kind that is actually very tasty, and I liked it. It's way cheaper than actual human cookies, so I still buy them every once in a while, as a treat. I still don't know if they're super healthy to eat, but I've never felt sick after eating them.
This was 30 years ago. I lived on the second floor of an apartment. I left a half-eaten bag of Little Debbie chocolate donuts on the floor next to my bed. The next night, in a dark room, watching David Letterman, I remembered and reached for the bag. I was three donuts in before I noticed the slightly strange taste, and the ant crawling on my face.
Formic acid is named after the scientific name for ants, and is also known as "ant acid" because they make it.
That's probably the sour part of the taste you described, since acids tend to be. (Think citric or vinegar)
Ooh, manual transmission fluid also stinks - literally. And it tastes how it smells. And it's oil so now your mouth and face is all oily. Pro-tip: don't be an idiot like me, just get the harbor freight siphon pump in the first place
Maggots. I've been chasing the high ever since. They were hiding in a pineapple flavored Swiss roll. I thought the maggots were coconut flakes at first. Pina colada is a good flavor. The maggots popping like boba didn't set any alarm bells off. It was better than the usual coconut crunch. The maggots wriggling against my gums and tongue didn't set any alarm bells off. It was the only time I ever chewed something that felt carbonated. The lone maggot crawling across my couch away from certain doom finally clued me in. Half of his platoon just got eaten and the other half was without a doubt up next.
The same thing happened to my mom at some point when she was a kid. For her it was an Almond Joy or Mounds, which let the maggots blend in even better. Is it a once in a lifetime thing everybody experiences or a generational curse? I feel cursed with the knowledge that maggots in the right context taste like the fuckin' future.
So one time when I was in grade school I was like really into eating lots of boxes of raisins and everybody in the school gave me the raisins so they could watch me eat a bunch of raisins cuz we were like little kids and you know we're stupid or whatever and I remember I was dumping each box one at a time onto my plate. Each one another set of raisins and I was getting picked to eat them and then when I dumped one box it came on a plate and it was maggots everywhere. Everybody was horrified because the realization sank on us. Every time you would turn a box of raisins just straight up in into your mouth. You might have accidentally eaten at magus. Some kids decided to try and capitalize and change my nickname to maggot man. But it didn't really stick because honestly I was weird for a whole lot of other reasons and maggot man was like not really my fault anyway. So it wasn't a big deal for me.
I felt a little unwell but didn't throw up. I was more worried about any health problems you could get from eating maggots. I calmed my nerves knowing that maggots are used on gangrenous flesh and won't eat living flesh. Felt kinda bad throwing the remaining half out though.
Tastes like turpentine and grapefruit juice. The former I've actually tried accidentally... dipped my paint brush in my cup of water and took a swig of the other cup. Somehow, the malort was worse. Learned recently that they make a barrel aged version that they claim is
At uni, the go-to liquor at our events was made from malört and we would have shots of it served up. The taste is awful and it sticks in your mouth, I hated every single one but I have never passed it up either.
The grapefruit reference is accurate. I'd describe it as floor varnish thinner mixed with hyper-concentrated grapefruit rind. The interesting thing is the way it doesn't actually smell that bad, but then it starts terrible and gets worse after a few seconds. I'm convinced there's some interesting chemistry going on in there where it degrades into other chemicals as it oxidizes in your mouth.
The only remotely comparable flavor I've ever had is...
...Unicum, which tastes like a cedar chest smells, and I was more than a little afraid would make me go blind.
0/10 for both, would absolutely recommend if you want someone to establish a baseline for "absolute worst-tasting thing ever deliberately consumed that is technically meant to be consumed."
Also Stroh80 is a good contender for worst drink. It tastes like kinder garten glue smells, and it lingers for the rest of the evening. I only took a sip while a friend of mine took a whole shot, and he said the whole evening every time he burped the taste came back
I'm utterly convinced everyone just says malort is gross for the bit. It's not that bad. There are other bizarre tasting liquors that don't get the same rep. I've had it and, while not great, didn't really live up to the vomit inducing reputation.
When I was around 3 or 4 y/o, a neighbour kid managed to convince me to take a bite of a dried dog shit.
I don't remember what he'd said that convinced me, I just remember the laughter when I actually did it... I wasn't the brightest kid, but very curious and gullible.
Oh that reminds me of when I was like 4, one of the neighborhood kids convinced a bunch of the other kids to eat some of those cicada exoskeletons they leave on trees. I did not, but I'm pretty sure some of the other kids did.
Stinky tofu. It's hard to describe the flavor. It's like dead anchovies in fish sauce but with the texture of a slice of omelette. It's like eating rotten fish snot. I involuntarily spit it out immediately after putting it in my mouth, almost like it fell out of my mouth. My hosts laughed and said I didn't have to eat it, but I tried again and was able to keep it in my mouth but was not physically able to swallow it, like my ability to swallow was rejecting it. I spit it into a paper napkin and everyone laughed. I just couldn't force myself to consume it.
The trick is to have someone prepare it who knows what they're doing. Guy who made it for us opened it outside in a bowl of water to catch all the gas coming out. He rinsed it and then put it on potatoes with sour cream and chives. It was good, but we still ate it outside.
I always cringed watching videos of people open a can in a hot car in Texas during the summer to "see how bad it smells"
I got some of that pre period goop in me once. I would say that turnabout was fair play for a dude but I don't like blowies so I just got gooped for nuthin
The Elvis. The sandwich American rock singer Elvis Presley made famous. Peanut butter, banana, and bacon. Grilled like a grilled cheese sandwich.
Addendum: I am allergic to peanut butter. I got ahold of a soy-based alternative called Wowbutter, and people who are not allergic tell me they nailed the taste, but the aftertaste is kinda not good. So, the first thing I did was shove a whole teaspoon-full of it in my mouth. My brain goes "you dumb fuck, you're gonna die," but I didn't, because it wasn't toxic. So I went and tried everything made with peanut butter (BTW, strawberry > grape for PB&Js), including the Elvis. A lot of it was kinda gross. I guess if you were raised on peanut butter, maybe, I can see it, but I didn't think the experience was anything special. Not when Nutella exists... which I also can't have. But then there's Biscoff spread, which is non-toxic, apparently it's also vegan (wouldn't peanut butter be, too?), and it's ten billion percent better than all that other shit. Though, you would be absolutely right in saying I've never had real peanut butter, or your favourite variety of it.
As someone not allergic to peanuts, but who grew up in Europe, I was probably about 20 when I tried peanut butter for the first time. I agree with you, it's meh. Not terrible, not great.
Nutella, ovomaltine, pistachio or white chocolate spreads are much better. Never tried biscoff, sounds promising.
Wait just a minute! You're comparing sugary spreads to our peanut butter? Imma remember this next time somebody from Europe gives us shit about sugar in our sandwich bread.
Nah, creamy PB is better and I will fight you on that. Creamy PB is better for ants on a log, it's better on ice cream, it's better for dipping or making into sauces, it's better on sandwiches too. Thick layer of creamy PB, black raspberry jam, and some honey-wheat whole grain bread, and I'm in heaven.
Crunchy PB is better at one thing and one thing only, and that is staying in the jar.
I'm kinda the opposite of you. I'm American and grew up with peanut butter. I didn't try Nutella until my 20s, and while it was ok, I didn't think it was nearly as good as what people made it out to be.
While I don't have peanut butter often nowadays, it's still one of my favorite things when added to sweets, like peanut butter cups or peanut butter fudge. Peanut butter + chocolate is a heavenly combo.
Biscoff butter is great. Absolutely horrendously unhealthy IIRC, but tastes great.
Also, there are so many chocolate spreads out there that are a hundred times better than Nutella nowadays, don't sell your palate short!
My wife has a severe nut allergy. We have tried wow butter and I have to be frank, it's maybe somewhat similar to the shitty ultra processed refined sugar peanut butter but just barely, and you're bang on about the aftertaste. It's sickly.
We much prefer Sun Butter (the no sugar added variety).
But if I'm being honest that also isn't quite the right taste substitute for peanut butter either, but it's the closest I've tried.
Sun Butter? Is that made from sunflower seeds? I've had fake Reese's cups that were made from sunflower seed butter rather than peanuts. I thought it was pretty good.
Actual shit. I was rimming my boyfriend and he had thought he cleaned enough, he was wrong. I immediately threw up washed my mouth out and brushed my teeth. Disgusting, in case I needed to say it.
A Zataran's Cajun chicken Alfredo freezer meal...that had been in the un-freezable, non-refrigerated cabinet two weeks.
My wife...gods bless her, was trying to feed me dinner...and found that in the cabinet... after having put it there during our last grocery stock up, not realizing it required freezing. In her defense, it was a grocery order and the item was not something we ordered, so she didn't know the particulars of it, and it wasn't cold upon arrival.
After microwaving, she brings me the plate and a fork and I notice the smell is...unique, but me being hungry and not overly picky though "meh...Cajun seasoning...I guess" so i stir the sauce into the noodles and then lick the fork, as one does, preparing to consume.
The weirdest part, is it was fucking sour. Not sour like spoiled, sour like a million warheads sour. I stopped... looked at the stuff, looked at my wife and shuddered. "This is weird...why is it sour?" I said...still not dawning on me that my wife would attempt to poison me so obviously. She disappears and I sit there, with the offending offering on the table in front of me. "Am I brave enough to eat this? I don't like wasting food..." goes through my head at about the same time as my wife, pale faced and trembling, rushes in and grabs it hollering "don't eat that! It was supposed to be frozen!"
This was something like 16-17 years ago now so it's clearly left a mark
It was about 2-3am, I lived on the ground floor of a student house and I wanted a snack. Remembering I had bought some yoghurts a day or two before I figured that's what I was going for.
Now I'm not really sure what happened, if I picked up an old one I'd not noticed or it was just bad from the shop, but it didn't notice until after I'd taken the first mouthful.
Needless to say it tasted genuinely awful and put me off yoghurt in general for a good while
One time I got the bright idea to siphon the water out of my ~50gal aquatic turtle tank for some long overdue cleaning. I anchored one end of a water hose at the bottom of the tank and strung the other end out into the yard and proceeded to start the siphoning process with my mouth. Got force fed a giant gulp of whatever got sucked off the bottom of the tank.
I've put some nasty shit in my mouth since then and nothing comes close.
Yeah, that's how I drain the swamp coolers at work now. I learned a lot that day.
Another neat trick if you have a long run, is pump your siphon hose up with water from another hose until it starts coming out in the tank you want to drain. Then take the hose away and the siphon will (usually) start itself.
I was passing through Montevideo, Uruguay, and me and some folks at the hostel I was staying at were out trying a local restaurant. The guy who owned the place saw we were tourists and said he wanted to treat us to a local specialty, and so brought out... something. It was something like animal bits, chunks of fat, and who knows what else all suspended in a hard gelatin. It was truly vile, and I swear it had bits of hair in it as well. To be polite we all tried a small bit, and then got the heck out of there as quick as we could.
To this day I can't tell if he was sincere, or if he really hated tourists and gave us the contents of his dish trap. Googling has turned up nothing, but thankfully our politeness didn't extend to actually finishing the awful thing.
I wouldn't buy a whole thing from the store unless you know you like it, but if you like cilantro and jalapeno, a banh mi with head cheese and pate is a good way to try it. It's a delicious mix of fresh, savory, fluffy, crunchy, and chewy.
Not paste. Just fermented beans. You stir that shit up and it forms sticky threads. I can’t stand it but I used to eat it when I didn’t know any better.
Over a decade in Japan and I still can't eat more than one or two beans at a time and only the small cut ones. Anything else and I'm gagging. I want to like it but my body refuses
To each their own. The taste wasn't bad, but I almost threw up because of the texture. I could feel the firmness of the unrefined, unprocessed, raw creature. I could feel how my teeth made their way through the various organic structures - muscles, innards, brains and all the other organs - of a creature so fresh, that it felt like it could've swam away if I'd spit it out and cast it into the ocean instead of grinding, crushing and ripping it apart inside my mouth.
Well, there was natō, which is just slimy fermented soybeans. Had a taste like rotten sick and a texture like milky mucus covering half-mushed beans.
Not a fan of sea urchin either.
Also eaten a few expired food items that made me very wary of repeats, and usually put me off the food in question for at least a year. Rotten fruit cup that tasted like acetone, slimy off ham, chunky lemon milk.
Last, I once tried to cook a ham hock in beans. Recipe came out tasting like what I imagine stewed human flesh would taste like. Just wrong. Couldnt say exactly why, but nothing about the smell or taste told me it was edible. It was the most visceral "you're-eating-a-dead-thing" feeling i've ever gotten.
That said, my worst recently was parmesan cheese in soup after having vomited from norovirus. It tastes like vomit in the wrong context...
I'm sure it's not the nastiest thing, but it's what comes to mind. I have a brother and we dared each other to eat stuff as kids, but I cannot recall...
That reminds me of playing card games with my parents one time and I smelled what I thought was vomit. Turns out my folks liked to play each other while eating popcorn. Popcorn seasoned with Kraft Parmesan cheese. Gross.
Once we realized what was causing the smell, the cards went in the trash and that habit stopped.
After a rough basketball injury put my tooth through my lip, I ended up with a mucal retention cyst on the inside of my lip a few days later.
I was in the doctors waiting room, and it burst in my mouth. It was a thoroughly unpleasant experience, as I rushed to the bathroom to spit it out.
Ugh. Once when I was a kid I got the idea in my head to stick my face in between the couch cushoins and inhale hard. I still can kinda see the cursed salad I was spitting out for a while.
That sounds manageable. The first time a friend and I played Minecraft, he took a shot of Everclear. I was never brave enough to try that, but I was drinking it mixed 50/50 with Monster.
Everclear is, incidentally, 190 proof. I don't drink it anymore, but my wife has used it as cleaning fluid.
Yeah I once had a guy from Asian enthusiastically give me two bottles of 151 and then wanted to crack them open and finish them not knowing what he got. That is the drunkest I've been in a restaurant I think.
Taste? Probably expired milk. I didn't sniff check as a kid. A mistake you only make once.
Most disturbing to me even though it tasted okay? I had one of those cardboard cartons of Apple juice* lined internally with plastic/aluminium so you couldn't see inside. Well within best by date. I poured a glass, chugged it. Hot summer day. Decided, eh, a little more why not. A giant gloopy growth plopped out into my glass. I retched.
As a kid I took a swig off my Mom’s Coca Cola. She had been using the can as an ash tray. Puked for five mins and can recall that taste in a second as an adult.
Honestly that's not even that bad in terms of weird Chinese food. The sliced pig hooves were what did me in. Also, I hate the "gunk at the bottom of the hotpot after several hours" gravy that my wife goes ape shit for. Also I just have to ignore nainai's crazy bad food safety practices. Squid bucket is the same bucket we use to wash the floor. I honestly wish I'd just listened to wiser folks and stayed out of the kitchen.
I've had some not so good pig intestine and some phenomenal, and the worse ones were similar to how you described it. If you ever decide you'd try it again, I think it's so much better when crispy. The texture reminds me of bacon with a gelatinous, melt in your mouth center almost like burnt ends.
When I was like 8, I was playing with my remote control car, one with a battery pack you had to unplug from the car and use a special charger in the wall. After I recharged it, and was getting ready to drive it around, i noticed I had what I thought was leftover chocolate on my finger. I licked the drop off my finger and immediately realized it was battery acid or some residue from the battery, it was the worst taste ever.
Liver. Onions were fine, but what kinda sicko likes to eat liver? Just knowing it's where urine is filtered turns me off, but I was made to eat it as a kid before I learned that. Man, my brain is turning to shit as I age.
Yep, my brain is turning to shit as I age. Many years of poor sleep hygiene combined with a family history of Alzheimer's probably ain't helping, either. Thanks for the correction.
I like liver, but only if I cook it to eat immediately. Overcooked it's bad, but if you can fry slices it so it's still a little pink inside it's great.
I've always hated liver, but my parents liked it so my mom used to make it. Several years ago my wife said she rememberd liking it but hadn't had it since she was young. I was the family cook and she asked if I'd make some. Got a recipe, cooked it up with onions. Tasted like my mom's (she was an amazing cook). I was so relieved when my wife said it was awful and never wanted to have it again.
I refused the liquid because it made me gag but I couldn’t swallow pills yet. Tried putting it in any and everything to hide the taste but it still made its way through. Made me hate eggnog for a long time, too.
Make sure root beer is ice cold, like nearly frozen. Room temp (warm) root beer can have a cough syrup flavor to some people.
Also there are a TON of different types of root beer. Some are better than others. I'm a 1919 and Triple XXX fan. Sprecher is also good, but the others are better, just sprechers is easier to get.
Warm root beer is an entirely different drink. Still good IMO, the taste is softer and more drawn out. Cold rootbeer is crisper with a cleaner (by comparison) finish.
If you're ok with warm root beer then you are the minority. I don't mind most root beer if it's warm, I like it better cold, but most of my root beer drinking friends absolutely hate warm.
Mouthwash? You sure you weren't drinking a bad sample? A&W brand root beer has a decently strong vanilla taste, although I personally prefer Barq's which doesn't.
Two things could hardly be more different than root beer and mouth wash. To be fair, there are a lot of different varieties of root beer - some with a heavy licorice flavor, others stronger vanilla or whatever, but they're all sweet.
As someone else suggested, maybe you got a strong ginger beer? Those can be pretty spicy.
Nope, A&W root beer. Maybe a have some weird gene mutation like some people have one that makes cilantro taste like soap. I bought a can and even got a root beer float. Still mouthwash (not the ice cream part).
Oh, that's really strange. Kind of reminds me of when a friend said pineapple makes your whole mouth feel like when you lick a 9v battery, and be didn't get why people like it. Turns out he has some generic thing that's like an allergy to it.
It's a totally different taste if you can ever get it fresh (like out of a just opened shell level fresh). There's no sliminess or fishy taste at all, just rich and savory with a hint of sweetness
Prolly a spider that had crawled into my fountain drink straw or viewed another way when I vomited up a metronidazole pill that I had worked very very hard to swallow without tasting and immediately vomited again as a result. If you're unfamiliar it's the antibiotic pill that makes you taste metal.
Paxlovid does that, too. It's so much worse than it sounds. The only thing that I've found which helps at all is pineapple. But you have to be continuously holding pineapple in your mouth.
It's the only pill I couldn't take. I ended up getting vancomyacin instead, which is a lot more expensive. It felt ridiculous, but when you throw up after taking it you don't really think it'll go better the second time.
I.never tried the pineapple trick. I did try coating it in thick stuff like honey. It pierced right through
I didn't put it there but when I was in college sharing an apartment with my brother and his wife they got a dog and when they got it home the instant it got through the door it beelined for my lap and slipped it's tongue ALL the way along the roof of my mouth. Decades ago and I can still feel it.
Salted chips without the chip. I was mindlessly eating some chips from the bag and suddenly there was this intense salt flavour quickly overpowered by way too much rotten oil flavour. When I spit it out, it looked like a clump of deep fried salt.
::: spoiler Aftermath
The next day I continued eating the bag of chips and there was an even bigger clump still in the bag, which I again only noticed once it was too late...
:::
Solid stuff? Someone did a really shit job of making it then. Unless you mean something that isn't called jelly here. Taste is subjective but if they fucked that bit up then I wouldn't be surprised if other things were done wrong too.
When I was a kid, a friend of mine hosted a birthday party on a paintball range. We played for I don't know how long, large group of us, was really fun.
One thing the instructors told us, keep your mouth shut.
You see, we wore face masks, however for us to breathe of course there's a grill where you mouth goes.
Needless to say, I got shot right on that mouth grill, and naturally due to the shock of it I opened my mouth...
The paintball burst on the grill, and I had the whole volume of paint launched deep into my throat.
It was so... ungodly... salty. For the rest of the day all I could taste was salt (the blow occured around early afternoon). And that's coming from someone who also on another unrelated occassion ended up with a deep mouthful of sea water.
I bought a bottle of choccy milk at a gas station, got one for my kiddo too. I go to take a swig and its... chunky and stringy. I went back to the store and they exchanged both bottles of milk. They had to go find two that weren't expired.
Of things that were intended to be eaten, my friend in Amsterdam had some super salty black licorice. Don't want to yuck his yum, but that shit wasn't fit for human consumption.
One time when I was a kid, my friend and I decided to take random stuff from the pantry and just mix it all together into one drink. That was genuinely heinous.
Probably psyllium husks with water. It's supposed to help digestion, but the texture is fucking awful. AFAIK you can also buy these as pills, but I've never seen any in a store.
Most of the premade products mix it with orange juice powder. So it’s like a thick orange juice shake. You can probably mix it with whatever flavor and drink it cold so it feels like a shake.
I mix it with applesauce. Doesn't make it great, but it goes down way easier than water.
The other night I made pancakes for dinner because I was tired, hungry, and lazy, and the bag of psyllium husk powder happened to be sitting on my counter so I decided to add a spoonful to my pancake mix to get some extra fiber. It worked out pretty good, I could taste it, but just barely (I also had added blueberries and chocolate chips, so they probably helped mask any unpleasant flavors and textures)
It crawled into the bag of snacking cheerios on a camping trip.
... still feed bad about accidentally killing that little guy.
I guess also maybe you could count earning my redwings, though it wasn't like I was ingesting it, and frankly, I didn't even find it disgusting at all, but it seems most people are disgusted by this.
I've done a good bit of martial arts, am quite used to the taste of my own blood in my mouth... hers was basically just a slightly different flavor of blood.
It's an acquired taste, but one I didn't acquire. Preserved shearwater chick, mmm.
I live in Scotland now, where there's a similar delicacy, guga. I have not tried it. I think you have to live on the Isle of Lewis for a shot at eating it
Fundamentally, ass. Absolutely nothing about it is logical. Don't care, as long as it's freshly showered and no questionable bowel situations.
Uniquely gross, tuna salad as my taste and smell was coming back post-covid 19. I had it often before, I have it often now. But something like a month after covid, the only thing I tasted and smelled was the fish oil. Put me off of it for like a year. Got over it
I tested the buttering agent on coin cell batteries. Very bitter. I've also blown my car's radiator to speed up a coolant drain through a small outlet. Same buttering agent. I also unintentionally coated my hand in liquid compressed air (upside down) and clicked my finger a little later eating chips. You guessed it, bittrex strikes again. On par with malort.
Oh! This happened last week. It was a mocktail featuring iced matcha and espresso foam. It reminded me of the most disgusting thing that's ever gone into my mouth by accident.
315 replies
My girlfriend-at-the-time's dirty, dirty ass. Thought it would be like in my fantasies, where it tastes like candyfloss and smells like a Yankee candle. Nope. Shit. Just shit.
If you're curious, shit tastes exactly as it smells. I wish I didn’t know that. Although I'm happy that now you, too, know that.
And she had the nerve to dump me later. I deserve a Nobel peace prize for not recoiling in horror and instead just powering through in silence like a fucking GENTLEMAN.
On the bright side, it became a great way to ensure future partners were cognisant of the issue. I'd drop it into the usual "what was your ex like?" gossip sessions that come with new relationships. It's like saying "please wash your various holes if I'm gonna go rooting around in them like an ant-fiending aardvark" without actually saying it. A cautionary fable from days of yore to guide the next generation.
P.S. I'm still pro-anilingus. Just... clean the fuckin' thing first. I don't need to be picking dingleberries from between my teeth, thanks.
What the fuck
You literally ate shit?
human centipede.
I made a reply a while back about catching H. Pilori from eating ass ... but I didn't realise at the time what had got in my mouth ... I just can't understand doing that intentionally.
For the love of dog, why?
She didn't even like, shower beforehand??
I have only experienced the smell while having sex. We went out and after getting home I guess she took a shit and in her drunken state didn't wipe properly cause we went after it doggy style and my god did I smell some dookie. We were both drunk and, you know, I liked her, so I powered through it. But it's still a very memorable night.
A particular man's penis. I realized too late that he didn't routinely clean under his foreskin.
Was it like parmesan or..?
Piss and stagnant sweat and more.
I don’t know if I ever would have gotten circumcised if it was my own choice, but one thing I’m glad for is it’s damn easy to keep clean.
It's also pretty damn easy if you're not circumcised
Impressive comment/username combo
doubt
Or more of a cottage cheese?
Fromunda cheese they call it.
Bromunda
Parmeeeseeian?
Oh god, I just remembered this one guy's cum that always tasted absolutely, horrendously foul. Could not keep doing that.
Guys who drink too much coffee make me wretch
I too, am familiar with OP's mom.
Cat treat. Ate it on a dare. It was fucking foul. 0/10.
I used to work in a pet food store and tried a bunch of treat samples we had. They're not very good if you aren't a dog or a cat, turns out
I remember a food chemist telling me that one of their hardest problems was making things that smell and taste good to dogs and cats, but didn't smell too gross for the humans.
The smell of canned cat food makes me retch.
The stuff I used to give my cat was fine, but she had kidney disease now and is on a prescription canned-only diet. The new stuff smells gross and it makes her poop smell much worse.
It's because they're not giving your pets the same high quality food you get.
No, that was not it at all, according to her. It's that things that smell really good to the animals don't generally smell good to humans. She said it would be really easy to make food the animals would be excited about, but their owners would open the can and it would smell bad, so they didn't want to buy any more of it.
You think you get high quality ingredients in store bought snacks and candy ?
Also this. If it's not an acute health hazard they will sell it in some processed form.
You've seen them eating literal poop, right?
There are posh producers who do 100% freeze dried meat pet food and treats. Even so, probably not something you want or need in your body.
I've tried both wet and dry cat food. The wet food was very bad, but still relatively edible. It was also the one I expected to be good (it was one of those really expensive and premium brands). The dry food, however, tasted exactly like fried anchovies. It wasn't bad, honestly.
Edit: I've also tried dog cookies. Most of them are bland, because their main ingredient is actually ash. I don't know how healthy that is. They're also pretty hard. However, there's a specific kind that is actually very tasty, and I liked it. It's way cheaper than actual human cookies, so I still buy them every once in a while, as a treat. I still don't know if they're super healthy to eat, but I've never felt sick after eating them.
Live ants.
This was 30 years ago. I lived on the second floor of an apartment. I left a half-eaten bag of Little Debbie chocolate donuts on the floor next to my bed. The next night, in a dark room, watching David Letterman, I remembered and reached for the bag. I was three donuts in before I noticed the slightly strange taste, and the ant crawling on my face.
Ants taste a bit sour and bitter.
Well duh. You didn't cook em first
Formic acid is named after the scientific name for ants, and is also known as "ant acid" because they make it.
That's probably the sour part of the taste you described, since acids tend to be. (Think citric or vinegar)
Very similar story. I noticed my second bowl of cereal was moving.
In places where it's not taboo, people like the sour. I'm pretty sure I've seen them on a nice salad in place of citrus.
Gasoline. Had to siphon, did it wrong, mouthful of gas.
Ooh, manual transmission fluid also stinks - literally. And it tastes how it smells. And it's oil so now your mouth and face is all oily. Pro-tip: don't be an idiot like me, just get the harbor freight siphon pump in the first place
I always hoped petrol would be spicy and sec (dry) - is it not?
It is not spicy. It is oily and hard to rinse out. Very unpleasant. And 0/10 with rice.
Damn. Haven’t seen a “with rice” score for a while.
Thanks for the info, I shall give it a miss. I’m sorry you had to suffer for us to learn.
Does it taste how it smells?
Yes. But much worse.
Maggots. I've been chasing the high ever since. They were hiding in a pineapple flavored Swiss roll. I thought the maggots were coconut flakes at first. Pina colada is a good flavor. The maggots popping like boba didn't set any alarm bells off. It was better than the usual coconut crunch. The maggots wriggling against my gums and tongue didn't set any alarm bells off. It was the only time I ever chewed something that felt carbonated. The lone maggot crawling across my couch away from certain doom finally clued me in. Half of his platoon just got eaten and the other half was without a doubt up next.
The same thing happened to my mom at some point when she was a kid. For her it was an Almond Joy or Mounds, which let the maggots blend in even better. Is it a once in a lifetime thing everybody experiences or a generational curse? I feel cursed with the knowledge that maggots in the right context taste like the fuckin' future.
Jesus Christ.
Jesus Carpenter's
THE MAGGOT
Bro what the fuck did I just read?
hey bud I'll bet your cum farts are pretty tasty ;)
Reminds me of a Sardinian thing.
Maggots never looked bad to me. Anything plump with no bones is awfully close to a dish already.
So one time when I was in grade school I was like really into eating lots of boxes of raisins and everybody in the school gave me the raisins so they could watch me eat a bunch of raisins cuz we were like little kids and you know we're stupid or whatever and I remember I was dumping each box one at a time onto my plate. Each one another set of raisins and I was getting picked to eat them and then when I dumped one box it came on a plate and it was maggots everywhere. Everybody was horrified because the realization sank on us. Every time you would turn a box of raisins just straight up in into your mouth. You might have accidentally eaten at magus. Some kids decided to try and capitalize and change my nickname to maggot man. But it didn't really stick because honestly I was weird for a whole lot of other reasons and maggot man was like not really my fault anyway. So it wasn't a big deal for me.
i mean it sounds like they were actually kinda great and not disgusting tho...
what was your reaction once you realized? did you feel sick?
I felt a little unwell but didn't throw up. I was more worried about any health problems you could get from eating maggots. I calmed my nerves knowing that maggots are used on gangrenous flesh and won't eat living flesh. Felt kinda bad throwing the remaining half out though.
Penguinz0 type shit
Come on now, Mounds/Almond Joy are my favorite. Sometimes you feel like a nut, never do I feel like a maggot.
An oyster
The town I grew up in is famous for them, we even learned about them in school but I'd never tried one
Finally decided to just before I moved away for university and eugh, salty mucus-y blob, had to spit it out again, poor lil guy
I adore oysters. You could have spat it out into my mouth and I would have eaten it.
Is this a service you offer for free?
For the price of admission and a belly full of oysters.
Imagine being a waiter in that restaurant
Only way I eat them is fried. Still not my favorite and kinda weird, but much less slimy.
Malort
Tastes like turpentine and grapefruit juice. The former I've actually tried accidentally... dipped my paint brush in my cup of water and took a swig of the other cup. Somehow, the malort was worse. Learned recently that they make a barrel aged version that they claim is
We do not.
Somehow a friend of mine was convinced to try it, and now insists on taking shots of it every night out.
At least the taglines are accurate:
Malort: turning taste-buds into taste-foes for generations!
Malort: tonight’s the night you fight your dad!
Malort: these pants aren’t going to shit themselves!
Malort: the Gary, Indiana of liquor!
At uni, the go-to liquor at our events was made from malört and we would have shots of it served up. The taste is awful and it sticks in your mouth, I hated every single one but I have never passed it up either.
Did you go to uni in hell or chicago?
I'm from Saint Louis, what's the difference?
Good stadium nachos
Of the two, hell is probably the more accurate description (not in the US though).
Dumpster juice. That’s the best way I can describe it.
The grapefruit reference is accurate. I'd describe it as floor varnish thinner mixed with hyper-concentrated grapefruit rind. The interesting thing is the way it doesn't actually smell that bad, but then it starts terrible and gets worse after a few seconds. I'm convinced there's some interesting chemistry going on in there where it degrades into other chemicals as it oxidizes in your mouth.
The only remotely comparable flavor I've ever had is...
...Unicum, which tastes like a cedar chest smells, and I was more than a little afraid would make me go blind.
0/10 for both, would absolutely recommend if you want someone to establish a baseline for "absolute worst-tasting thing ever deliberately consumed that is technically meant to be consumed."
Good God unicum is horrible.
Also Stroh80 is a good contender for worst drink. It tastes like kinder garten glue smells, and it lingers for the rest of the evening. I only took a sip while a friend of mine took a whole shot, and he said the whole evening every time he burped the taste came back
I am one of like less than 2% of the population that actually likes it.
To me, it just tastes like a gin that’s more…dirty? I dunno how else to describe it, but just more “dirty” pine. I actually enjoy it. 🤷♂️
I'm utterly convinced everyone just says malort is gross for the bit. It's not that bad. There are other bizarre tasting liquors that don't get the same rep. I've had it and, while not great, didn't really live up to the vomit inducing reputation.
Name me a worse liquor, I'll buy it next week if I can find it local, and I'll report back.
Tasted like my grandfather’s shoes
This thread's got me curious about what my dick would taste like.
this is how it starts
beware of the pipeline
Incoming back pain
My understanding is that it's more like sucking a dick than like getting your dick sucked.
If it’s clean it tastes like any other clean dick.
When I was around 3 or 4 y/o, a neighbour kid managed to convince me to take a bite of a dried dog shit.
I don't remember what he'd said that convinced me, I just remember the laughter when I actually did it... I wasn't the brightest kid, but very curious and gullible.
I got a belly full of white dog crap and now you lay this shit on me?
Oh that reminds me of when I was like 4, one of the neighborhood kids convinced a bunch of the other kids to eat some of those cicada exoskeletons they leave on trees. I did not, but I'm pretty sure some of the other kids did.
Stinky tofu. It's hard to describe the flavor. It's like dead anchovies in fish sauce but with the texture of a slice of omelette. It's like eating rotten fish snot. I involuntarily spit it out immediately after putting it in my mouth, almost like it fell out of my mouth. My hosts laughed and said I didn't have to eat it, but I tried again and was able to keep it in my mouth but was not physically able to swallow it, like my ability to swallow was rejecting it. I spit it into a paper napkin and everyone laughed. I just couldn't force myself to consume it.
That's interesting. I friggin' loved it.
To each their own. I thought it was going to be like surströmming, which I liked. I've also eaten durian with no issue. Stinky tofu was not my thing.
The name stinky tofu doesn't help either eh?
And, I'm not sure if I could stomach surströmming, but I'd love to try one day!
The trick is to have someone prepare it who knows what they're doing. Guy who made it for us opened it outside in a bowl of water to catch all the gas coming out. He rinsed it and then put it on potatoes with sour cream and chives. It was good, but we still ate it outside.
I always cringed watching videos of people open a can in a hot car in Texas during the summer to "see how bad it smells"
If you hated it, you might have been a super taster in my experience has super taster it felt like someone threw up directly into my mouth
I got some of that pre period goop in me once. I would say that turnabout was fair play for a dude but I don't like blowies so I just got gooped for nuthin
Yeah I fuckin swallowed it, I'm not bitch made
I'm not reading any more of these.
I want to stop but I can't
Just letting you know I could have described the texture but I didn't
On a scale of dorito to jolly rancher how would you rate it?
I don't downvote people very often...
Egg white 🤔
Raw or cooked?
Raw, definitely
God bless
Based swallower.
you didn't have to comment this
https://youtu.be/o048xeNQ3Wo
I don't think blowjobs are supposed to be for the giver, if that helps
I definitely hooked up with people who loved giving head. I was happy to oblige.
Also, I was kind of out of it for a while but nowadays I love eating someone out so you know, it can definitely go both ways.
Had me fooled, people have seemed pretty disappointed if I decline one
The Elvis. The sandwich American rock singer Elvis Presley made famous. Peanut butter, banana, and bacon. Grilled like a grilled cheese sandwich.
Addendum: I am allergic to peanut butter. I got ahold of a soy-based alternative called Wowbutter, and people who are not allergic tell me they nailed the taste, but the aftertaste is kinda not good. So, the first thing I did was shove a whole teaspoon-full of it in my mouth. My brain goes "you dumb fuck, you're gonna die," but I didn't, because it wasn't toxic. So I went and tried everything made with peanut butter (BTW, strawberry > grape for PB&Js), including the Elvis. A lot of it was kinda gross. I guess if you were raised on peanut butter, maybe, I can see it, but I didn't think the experience was anything special. Not when Nutella exists... which I also can't have. But then there's Biscoff spread, which is non-toxic, apparently it's also vegan (wouldn't peanut butter be, too?), and it's ten billion percent better than all that other shit. Though, you would be absolutely right in saying I've never had real peanut butter, or your favourite variety of it.
![email protected]
As someone not allergic to peanuts, but who grew up in Europe, I was probably about 20 when I tried peanut butter for the first time. I agree with you, it's meh. Not terrible, not great.
Nutella, ovomaltine, pistachio or white chocolate spreads are much better. Never tried biscoff, sounds promising.
Wait just a minute! You're comparing sugary spreads to our peanut butter? Imma remember this next time somebody from Europe gives us shit about sugar in our sandwich bread.
I also included pistachio spread.
nutella and biscoff pretty sugary from what ive tasted. peanut butter is better when its the crunchy version.
Yeah, might be a different category, but even for savory spreads I prefer a cream cheese, alioli, sobrasada or paprykarz.
Nah, creamy PB is better and I will fight you on that. Creamy PB is better for ants on a log, it's better on ice cream, it's better for dipping or making into sauces, it's better on sandwiches too. Thick layer of creamy PB, black raspberry jam, and some honey-wheat whole grain bread, and I'm in heaven.
Crunchy PB is better at one thing and one thing only, and that is staying in the jar.
I'm kinda the opposite of you. I'm American and grew up with peanut butter. I didn't try Nutella until my 20s, and while it was ok, I didn't think it was nearly as good as what people made it out to be.
While I don't have peanut butter often nowadays, it's still one of my favorite things when added to sweets, like peanut butter cups or peanut butter fudge. Peanut butter + chocolate is a heavenly combo.
It certainly has a nostalgia component
Biscoff butter is great. Absolutely horrendously unhealthy IIRC, but tastes great.
Also, there are so many chocolate spreads out there that are a hundred times better than Nutella nowadays, don't sell your palate short!
I buy ovomaltine, it has little crunchy bits and a nice aroma.
The trick to peanut butter on toast is to butter the toast with cow butter first
Also the trick to extra good PB&J
Can I use milk butter instead?
Yes, but not butter milk
Also, depends what the milk is made of
My wife has a severe nut allergy. We have tried wow butter and I have to be frank, it's maybe somewhat similar to the shitty ultra processed refined sugar peanut butter but just barely, and you're bang on about the aftertaste. It's sickly.
We much prefer Sun Butter (the no sugar added variety).
But if I'm being honest that also isn't quite the right taste substitute for peanut butter either, but it's the closest I've tried.
Sun Butter? Is that made from sunflower seeds? I've had fake Reese's cups that were made from sunflower seed butter rather than peanuts. I thought it was pretty good.
It is!
Actual shit. I was rimming my boyfriend and he had thought he cleaned enough, he was wrong. I immediately threw up washed my mouth out and brushed my teeth. Disgusting, in case I needed to say it.
A Zataran's Cajun chicken Alfredo freezer meal...that had been in the un-freezable, non-refrigerated cabinet two weeks.
My wife...gods bless her, was trying to feed me dinner...and found that in the cabinet... after having put it there during our last grocery stock up, not realizing it required freezing. In her defense, it was a grocery order and the item was not something we ordered, so she didn't know the particulars of it, and it wasn't cold upon arrival.
After microwaving, she brings me the plate and a fork and I notice the smell is...unique, but me being hungry and not overly picky though "meh...Cajun seasoning...I guess" so i stir the sauce into the noodles and then lick the fork, as one does, preparing to consume.
The weirdest part, is it was fucking sour. Not sour like spoiled, sour like a million warheads sour. I stopped... looked at the stuff, looked at my wife and shuddered. "This is weird...why is it sour?" I said...still not dawning on me that my wife would attempt to poison me so obviously. She disappears and I sit there, with the offending offering on the table in front of me. "Am I brave enough to eat this? I don't like wasting food..." goes through my head at about the same time as my wife, pale faced and trembling, rushes in and grabs it hollering "don't eat that! It was supposed to be frozen!"
Mouldy yoghurt
This was something like 16-17 years ago now so it's clearly left a mark
It was about 2-3am, I lived on the ground floor of a student house and I wanted a snack. Remembering I had bought some yoghurts a day or two before I figured that's what I was going for.
Now I'm not really sure what happened, if I picked up an old one I'd not noticed or it was just bad from the shop, but it didn't notice until after I'd taken the first mouthful.
Needless to say it tasted genuinely awful and put me off yoghurt in general for a good while
Fly in my coffee is up there.
One time I got the bright idea to siphon the water out of my ~50gal aquatic turtle tank for some long overdue cleaning. I anchored one end of a water hose at the bottom of the tank and strung the other end out into the yard and proceeded to start the siphoning process with my mouth. Got force fed a giant gulp of whatever got sucked off the bottom of the tank.
I've put some nasty shit in my mouth since then and nothing comes close.
For future reference you can siphon from a tank very easily by just filling up the tube inside the tank and then capping it with your thumb
Yeah, that's how I drain the swamp coolers at work now. I learned a lot that day.
Another neat trick if you have a long run, is pump your siphon hose up with water from another hose until it starts coming out in the tank you want to drain. Then take the hose away and the siphon will (usually) start itself.
I've had surströmming exactly once and intend to keep it that way.
Slug.
When I was small I left my kazoo outside in the yard, and then when I went to play it the next day, I learned the hard way what slugs taste like.
They’re bitter.
they do produce the slime as a deterrent, plus they are also likely filled with parasites too.
I was passing through Montevideo, Uruguay, and me and some folks at the hostel I was staying at were out trying a local restaurant. The guy who owned the place saw we were tourists and said he wanted to treat us to a local specialty, and so brought out... something. It was something like animal bits, chunks of fat, and who knows what else all suspended in a hard gelatin. It was truly vile, and I swear it had bits of hair in it as well. To be polite we all tried a small bit, and then got the heck out of there as quick as we could.
To this day I can't tell if he was sincere, or if he really hated tourists and gave us the contents of his dish trap. Googling has turned up nothing, but thankfully our politeness didn't extend to actually finishing the awful thing.
Sounds like head cheese.
Oh my God that's exactly what it was. Awful!!! It was really not good.
They sell this stuff at the Kroger deli and I’ve always been curious. This thread has made me less curious.
I wouldn't buy a whole thing from the store unless you know you like it, but if you like cilantro and jalapeno, a banh mi with head cheese and pate is a good way to try it. It's a delicious mix of fresh, savory, fluffy, crunchy, and chewy.
Fucking gross. I did a year at the deli, hated cutting head cheese. Even the name is disgusting. Only old people bought it.
No disagreement there, haha. I would go so far as to say the whole aspic era was really a low note for cuisine.
ahhh, but that's a delicacy ! I always buy a few slices when we go in town. With mustard it's fantastic
Natto. Japanese fermented bean paste. Slimy and tastes like rotten cabbage.
And this isn't even about not accepting foreign culture. Plenty of Japanese people hate it too.
It smells like sweaty feet but I liked it in my pasta. Good source of K2 as a fermented food
Not paste. Just fermented beans. You stir that shit up and it forms sticky threads. I can’t stand it but I used to eat it when I didn’t know any better.
Over a decade in Japan and I still can't eat more than one or two beans at a time and only the small cut ones. Anything else and I'm gagging. I want to like it but my body refuses
Tried it once and I didn't think it was all that bad? I guess I was expecting far worse
I've eaten ass
Any special prep?
Ideally it's clean. When im in the moment though I'm not asking about it
Nope. Just toss the salad
Sounds dangerous.
I prefer grape jelly.
A raw firefly squid marinated in soy sauce. ホタルイカの沖漬け。
I'd try it.
To each their own. The taste wasn't bad, but I almost threw up because of the texture. I could feel the firmness of the unrefined, unprocessed, raw creature. I could feel how my teeth made their way through the various organic structures - muscles, innards, brains and all the other organs - of a creature so fresh, that it felt like it could've swam away if I'd spit it out and cast it into the ocean instead of grinding, crushing and ripping it apart inside my mouth.
I'm not a vegan btw.
Boiled down San Pedro cactus juice. Tasted like old, ultra concentrated bong water.
And I didn't even trip.
Lmao that suuuuucks
Atleast you didnt have to taste it coming back out as well from the notorious nausea?
Well, there was natō, which is just slimy fermented soybeans. Had a taste like rotten sick and a texture like milky mucus covering half-mushed beans.
Not a fan of sea urchin either.
Also eaten a few expired food items that made me very wary of repeats, and usually put me off the food in question for at least a year. Rotten fruit cup that tasted like acetone, slimy off ham, chunky lemon milk.
Last, I once tried to cook a ham hock in beans. Recipe came out tasting like what I imagine stewed human flesh would taste like. Just wrong. Couldnt say exactly why, but nothing about the smell or taste told me it was edible. It was the most visceral "you're-eating-a-dead-thing" feeling i've ever gotten.
IIRC even Japanese people don't like natto, for the most part. It's just reputed to be super healthy over there.
Wrong. Many Japanese people love it. Not all, of course.
Probably in a similar category as lutefisk in Norway. I like it, but I realize it's an acquired taste.
Natto isn't that bad there's so many worse dishes
with onion and soy sauce and rice and kimchi
Y'all nasty.
That said, my worst recently was parmesan cheese in soup after having vomited from norovirus. It tastes like vomit in the wrong context...
I'm sure it's not the nastiest thing, but it's what comes to mind. I have a brother and we dared each other to eat stuff as kids, but I cannot recall...
That reminds me of playing card games with my parents one time and I smelled what I thought was vomit. Turns out my folks liked to play each other while eating popcorn. Popcorn seasoned with Kraft Parmesan cheese. Gross.
Once we realized what was causing the smell, the cards went in the trash and that habit stopped.
After a rough basketball injury put my tooth through my lip, I ended up with a mucal retention cyst on the inside of my lip a few days later. I was in the doctors waiting room, and it burst in my mouth. It was a thoroughly unpleasant experience, as I rushed to the bathroom to spit it out.
i assume you mean mucolcele, i used to get those.
You didn't put that into your mouth though.
Ugh. Once when I was a kid I got the idea in my head to stick my face in between the couch cushoins and inhale hard. I still can kinda see the cursed salad I was spitting out for a while.
I once got a burger from a cheap looking fast food place and my first bite was funky and cold.
Looked at the meat and it was basically still raw and partially frozen in the center.
It was a bad time.
Friend gifted me some of this, and it's truly awful.
Probably expensive Chinese baijiu the traditional drink of the North. I'll be toasting with it soon. Tastes like lighter fluid smells, 42% by volume.
That sounds manageable. The first time a friend and I played Minecraft, he took a shot of Everclear. I was never brave enough to try that, but I was drinking it mixed 50/50 with Monster.
Everclear is, incidentally, 190 proof. I don't drink it anymore, but my wife has used it as cleaning fluid.
Yeah I once had a guy from Asian enthusiastically give me two bottles of 151 and then wanted to crack them open and finish them not knowing what he got. That is the drunkest I've been in a restaurant I think.
What is this, wxactly? Just looks like some kind of liquor
This could actually be named wxactly
It certainly is. Baiju. It tastes like some kind of harsh chemical cleaner. Goes down similarly.
At least it's sterile (I imagine)
Taste? Probably expired milk. I didn't sniff check as a kid. A mistake you only make once.
Most disturbing to me even though it tasted okay? I had one of those cardboard cartons of Apple juice* lined internally with plastic/aluminium so you couldn't see inside. Well within best by date. I poured a glass, chugged it. Hot summer day. Decided, eh, a little more why not. A giant gloopy growth plopped out into my glass. I retched.
Mother of Vinegar I assumed? Not sure.
PVC pipe glue. Don’t ask.
this feels like a trap.....
Why you feeling up traps?
As long as it was legal and ethical.
Glad you said that second part, because that first part all too often doesn't overlap very well with it.
As a kid I took a swig off my Mom’s Coca Cola. She had been using the can as an ash tray. Puked for five mins and can recall that taste in a second as an adult.
pig intestine from a chinese restaurant, a meeting of the 'adventurous eaters meetup'. consistency of a mouthful of snot.
Honestly that's not even that bad in terms of weird Chinese food. The sliced pig hooves were what did me in. Also, I hate the "gunk at the bottom of the hotpot after several hours" gravy that my wife goes ape shit for. Also I just have to ignore nainai's crazy bad food safety practices. Squid bucket is the same bucket we use to wash the floor. I honestly wish I'd just listened to wiser folks and stayed out of the kitchen.
I've had some not so good pig intestine and some phenomenal, and the worse ones were similar to how you described it. If you ever decide you'd try it again, I think it's so much better when crispy. The texture reminds me of bacon with a gelatinous, melt in your mouth center almost like burnt ends.
Natural casings from quality sausages are pig intestines. And chitterlings.
yeah. this was a plate of really fatty, soft, uh, bits.
balut
Balut is so not that bad.
that hard price at the bottom? the horrid sulfer taste? its rough.
When I was like 8, I was playing with my remote control car, one with a battery pack you had to unplug from the car and use a special charger in the wall. After I recharged it, and was getting ready to drive it around, i noticed I had what I thought was leftover chocolate on my finger. I licked the drop off my finger and immediately realized it was battery acid or some residue from the battery, it was the worst taste ever.
A raw, whole crab (about the size of a golf ball). Was crunchy in a very nasty way, full of slimy nasty stuff. Horrible!
Fresh ginger.
Probably dextromethorphan powder, it's absolutely disgusting, sulbutiamine powder is pretty bad too
Liver. Onions were fine, but what kinda sicko likes to eat liver?
Just knowing it's where urine is filtered turns me off, but I was made to eat it as a kid before I learned that.Man, my brain is turning to shit as I age.Isn’t that the kidneys?
Yep, my brain is turning to shit as I age. Many years of poor sleep hygiene combined with a family history of Alzheimer's probably ain't helping, either. Thanks for the correction.
I like liver and onions. Rarely and sensible portions, but it is a treat to me.
All yours. Everybody's got their preferences - I'm sure some of mine are... unique as well.
Beef liver, meh. Chicken liver, AMAZING!
Yeah. I do have exture issue with some types of liver
I don't care for either, but I'm ready chicken liver in dirty rice.
I like liver, but only if I cook it to eat immediately. Overcooked it's bad, but if you can fry slices it so it's still a little pink inside it's great.
I don't trust anyone else to cook it right.
I've always hated liver, but my parents liked it so my mom used to make it. Several years ago my wife said she rememberd liking it but hadn't had it since she was young. I was the family cook and she asked if I'd make some. Got a recipe, cooked it up with onions. Tasted like my mom's (she was an amazing cook). I was so relieved when my wife said it was awful and never wanted to have it again.
I've been on crutches more than once, so pick an item.
???
Charcoal?
Rubber duck?
Chicken flavored pet vitamins are up there… probably buttermilk though
Crushed up amoxicillin tablets.
I refused the liquid because it made me gag but I couldn’t swallow pills yet. Tried putting it in any and everything to hide the taste but it still made its way through. Made me hate eggnog for a long time, too.
Eggnog has amoxicillin in it? Where are you from?
One of the things my parents put the amoxicillin in was egg nog, lol. I had strep during the holiday season.
Probably not the worst, but I once ate a massive spoonful of flour thinking it was icing sugar.
Balut
Pinoy friend of mine's sister brought 'easter balut' to their family's easter. She'd made jello eggs with peeps in the middle.
woww that's actually clever, I dig it!
Wow! What is that like?
I had a gf that adored it because of the"crunchy texture" ..... But I mean she ate my cum so I can't really complain
I hope that isn't crunchy when she eats it too...
Haha stay hydrated homie
I dint know if the most disgusting, but the biggest delta between expectation and reality was root beer.
Expected something vanilly or maybe gingery, got mouthwash. I genuinely spit the first sip.
Make sure root beer is ice cold, like nearly frozen. Room temp (warm) root beer can have a cough syrup flavor to some people.
Also there are a TON of different types of root beer. Some are better than others. I'm a 1919 and Triple XXX fan. Sprecher is also good, but the others are better, just sprechers is easier to get.
Warm root beer is an entirely different drink. Still good IMO, the taste is softer and more drawn out. Cold rootbeer is crisper with a cleaner (by comparison) finish.
If you're ok with warm root beer then you are the minority. I don't mind most root beer if it's warm, I like it better cold, but most of my root beer drinking friends absolutely hate warm.
Definitely in the minority. I like grapefruit juice too.
O damn, yea you're in the minority for sure lol
Mouthwash? You sure you weren't drinking a bad sample? A&W brand root beer has a decently strong vanilla taste, although I personally prefer Barq's which doesn't.
Mouthwash isn't minty everywhere. Japanese usually also don't like root beer because it has an overlap with some medicines' tastes here
Two things could hardly be more different than root beer and mouth wash. To be fair, there are a lot of different varieties of root beer - some with a heavy licorice flavor, others stronger vanilla or whatever, but they're all sweet.
As someone else suggested, maybe you got a strong ginger beer? Those can be pretty spicy.
Nope, A&W root beer. Maybe a have some weird gene mutation like some people have one that makes cilantro taste like soap. I bought a can and even got a root beer float. Still mouthwash (not the ice cream part).
Oh, that's really strange. Kind of reminds me of when a friend said pineapple makes your whole mouth feel like when you lick a 9v battery, and be didn't get why people like it. Turns out he has some generic thing that's like an allergy to it.
Ginger bier is quite spicy, hot if it has enough in it. What you expected sounds like sarsaparilla?
Sioux City sarsaparilla ?
Yeah, that’s a good one.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarsaparilla_(drink)
Not ginger beer, root beer. Ginger beer tastes exactly as advertised :)
Sea urchin.
It's a totally different taste if you can ever get it fresh (like out of a just opened shell level fresh). There's no sliminess or fishy taste at all, just rich and savory with a hint of sweetness
Good uni is good but anything else is really bad
Prolly a spider that had crawled into my fountain drink straw or viewed another way when I vomited up a metronidazole pill that I had worked very very hard to swallow without tasting and immediately vomited again as a result. If you're unfamiliar it's the antibiotic pill that makes you taste metal.
Paxlovid does that, too. It's so much worse than it sounds. The only thing that I've found which helps at all is pineapple. But you have to be continuously holding pineapple in your mouth.
It's the only pill I couldn't take. I ended up getting vancomyacin instead, which is a lot more expensive. It felt ridiculous, but when you throw up after taking it you don't really think it'll go better the second time.
I.never tried the pineapple trick. I did try coating it in thick stuff like honey. It pierced right through
A turd.
I didn't put it there but when I was in college sharing an apartment with my brother and his wife they got a dog and when they got it home the instant it got through the door it beelined for my lap and slipped it's tongue ALL the way along the roof of my mouth. Decades ago and I can still feel it.
I once had some papa john's pizza, never again.
Salted chips without the chip. I was mindlessly eating some chips from the bag and suddenly there was this intense salt flavour quickly overpowered by way too much rotten oil flavour. When I spit it out, it looked like a clump of deep fried salt.
::: spoiler Aftermath The next day I continued eating the bag of chips and there was an even bigger clump still in the bag, which I again only noticed once it was too late... :::
Jelly while on a trip in the UK. There was solid stuff inside that looked and tasted like vomit.
Solid stuff? Someone did a really shit job of making it then. Unless you mean something that isn't called jelly here. Taste is subjective but if they fucked that bit up then I wouldn't be surprised if other things were done wrong too.
I'm wondering if they had marmalade with chunks of rind
So not jelly at all?
Paint.
Orange to be precise.
When I was a kid, a friend of mine hosted a birthday party on a paintball range. We played for I don't know how long, large group of us, was really fun.
One thing the instructors told us, keep your mouth shut.
You see, we wore face masks, however for us to breathe of course there's a grill where you mouth goes.
Needless to say, I got shot right on that mouth grill, and naturally due to the shock of it I opened my mouth...
The paintball burst on the grill, and I had the whole volume of paint launched deep into my throat.
It was so... ungodly... salty. For the rest of the day all I could taste was salt (the blow occured around early afternoon). And that's coming from someone who also on another unrelated occassion ended up with a deep mouthful of sea water.
Fun fact: By law, paintballs must be made from food-grade materials. They are perfectly safe to eat.
What's orange and tastes like blue paint?
Orange paint
A mouthful of expired chocolate milk.
I bought a bottle of choccy milk at a gas station, got one for my kiddo too. I go to take a swig and its... chunky and stringy. I went back to the store and they exchanged both bottles of milk. They had to go find two that weren't expired.
I just make my own at home now.
I sip Malört and enjoy its nuanced flavor notes. Durian tastes like paradise. Natto, however, broke me.
Nah, this is the internet.
Cambozola. The descriptions I've read about it are entirely unlike the one I tried. It was intensely foul.
An ant that I ate
Of things that were intended to be eaten, my friend in Amsterdam had some super salty black licorice. Don't want to yuck his yum, but that shit wasn't fit for human consumption.
Yo mama's name (scnr)
Duck tounge. Ice cold duck tounge.
my foreskin. at least I think it was my foreskin... could have been someone else's.
One time when I was a kid, my friend and I decided to take random stuff from the pantry and just mix it all together into one drink. That was genuinely heinous.
Probably psyllium husks with water. It's supposed to help digestion, but the texture is fucking awful. AFAIK you can also buy these as pills, but I've never seen any in a store.
Also, gristly meat.
Plain husks are pretty bad but the orange flavored ones are actually kind of pleasant if you ever need to consume them again.
I know someone who rawdogs it with plain water. Dunno how he does it.
What else would you mix it with? I can't imagine anything that would actually improve the awful texture, and the taste isn't so hot, either.
Most of the premade products mix it with orange juice powder. So it’s like a thick orange juice shake. You can probably mix it with whatever flavor and drink it cold so it feels like a shake.
I mix it with applesauce. Doesn't make it great, but it goes down way easier than water.
The other night I made pancakes for dinner because I was tired, hungry, and lazy, and the bag of psyllium husk powder happened to be sitting on my counter so I decided to add a spoonful to my pancake mix to get some extra fiber. It worked out pretty good, I could taste it, but just barely (I also had added blueberries and chocolate chips, so they probably helped mask any unpleasant flavors and textures)
Yogurt?
Accidentally half ate a catepillar once.
It crawled into the bag of snacking cheerios on a camping trip.
... still feed bad about accidentally killing that little guy.
I guess also maybe you could count earning my redwings, though it wasn't like I was ingesting it, and frankly, I didn't even find it disgusting at all, but it seems most people are disgusted by this.
I've done a good bit of martial arts, am quite used to the taste of my own blood in my mouth... hers was basically just a slightly different flavor of blood.
Cauliflower. Just thinking about it to make this comment made me dry heave.
It gets easier past the esophagus
Someone did you dirty. Roasted cauliflower is divine, as is cauliflower soup.
My partner's parents served steamed cauliflower, which does not produce the best results.
They are also a super taster, with sensitivity to bitter tastes, so anything in the brassica family is a no-go for them.
Meanwhile, I'll eat raw cauliflower, because thats the kind of palate I have.
Muttonbird.
It's an acquired taste, but one I didn't acquire. Preserved shearwater chick, mmm.
I live in Scotland now, where there's a similar delicacy, guga. I have not tried it. I think you have to live on the Isle of Lewis for a shot at eating it
hair, sand, all sorts of medicines without capsules, fish bones, this flavor will stay with me for a long time🤢
there was this chocolate with a clear filling, i ended up scraping the flavor off my tongue with my nails.
I had a century egg once. Like a hundred rotten eggs suspended in a salty pond-muck jelly. My body literally refused to swallow it.
My girlfriends ass
Fundamentally, ass. Absolutely nothing about it is logical. Don't care, as long as it's freshly showered and no questionable bowel situations.
Uniquely gross, tuna salad as my taste and smell was coming back post-covid 19. I had it often before, I have it often now. But something like a month after covid, the only thing I tasted and smelled was the fish oil. Put me off of it for like a year. Got over it
I tested the buttering agent on coin cell batteries. Very bitter. I've also blown my car's radiator to speed up a coolant drain through a small outlet. Same buttering agent. I also unintentionally coated my hand in liquid compressed air (upside down) and clicked my finger a little later eating chips. You guessed it, bittrex strikes again. On par with malort.
Oh! This happened last week. It was a mocktail featuring iced matcha and espresso foam. It reminded me of the most disgusting thing that's ever gone into my mouth by accident.
A Jatz biscuit from a packet that was swarming with ants.
Scallops
Recently? My cum probably.
whats so disgusting about it, tastes like pine apple juice
Mmmm, pine apple.
Mine does not.
Fast food