Story time ...

Yesterday I woke with a sore shoulder after sleeping in a funny position, so after work I headed into town to get a massage to try and fix it. The place I went to was recommended by a (male) coworker; it's a segregated sauna with other spa facilities, so I figured safe enough for me to just wander in on my own.

It's hot, so I was wearing shorts and a low-cut t-shirt, all my tattoos were on show but other than that I looked respectable.

Well, the lady behind the front desk showed me their price list in English, and I was trying to make a decision, when the manager came up and started talking to me.

I mentioned that I was only there for a massage, and he reached out and held me by the back of my neck, and then quietly told me that he could give me a big discount on their by-the-hour rooms.

Not only did he think that I was scoping the place out as somewhere to bring clients, but that I'd be cheap or inexperienced enough to go with him in exchange for a "discount" to boot. Plus, as if I'd not know about how to assert dominance over someone by touching their neck.

I got him to back off, and I got my massage, but it's been really bugging me today ... this is typical in every city around the world, and while I may have made my own choices when I was young, most girls who end up doing sex work don't.

This was an uncomfortable reminder of just how tilted the world is against women, everywhere >:-(

Are there any decent apps for finding friends these days?

When I get back from working overseas I want to put some effort into finding new friends - since while I've been away I've enjoyed socialising, and hadn't realised how little I've done at home since covid.

This would be for regular friendship, I'll keep my other activities to grindr or feeld. I also plan to try and find meetups for socialising purposes (language interchange, casual munches, LGBT groups).

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/48029296

I've found the time to work through these two books this month ... I wanted a refresher in case I got rusty or wasn't considering something important.

I realised about halfway through Slut that I'd read a previous version a long time ago. At that time I was fresh into the idea of good poly, and some of it I recognised as things I do, so I must have absorbed some info at the time.

Reading it now, though, both books are intensely focussed on an outlook of poly and kink that feels old fashioned and intensely American to me. There were some good tips, but to be honest it felt like half the content was self congratulation.

Of course, it's possible that to a newbie poly person in the US Slut might be just the thing they need, but I personally wouldn't recommend it to others.

Any thoughts?

Apparently this is a thing. I wonder if having a day marked on the calendar has helped with menstrual health ...?

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/42631968

So, this is not for me, but for my wife ... long story short, she's never done this before, but has met a nice but very subby lady and wants to try some b/d d/s (but definitely no s/m).

I've tried talking her through, and demonstrating, some basic stuff, but she said it's weird learning from me ... I've given her my old copy of Learning the Ropes, but outside of that everything I've found online seems to just be porn rather than an instruction manual.

Does anyone know of additional resources for this?

So, this is not for me, but for my wife ... long story short, she's never done this before, but has met a nice but very subby lady and wants to try some b/d d/s (but definitely no s/m).

I've tried talking her through, and demonstrating, some basic stuff, but she said it's weird learning from me ... I've given her my old copy of Learning the Ropes, but outside of that everything I've found online seems to just be porn rather than an instruction manual.

Does anyone know of additional resources for this?

I'm working away from home, my spouse sent me this photo yesterday :-)

A couple of weeks ago a woman I love moved a long way away ... we only met 6 weeks before that, yet it wasn't a whirlwind romance. She's terrible at communicating remotely, so we won't ever have a long term relationship.

My spouse has lifted my spirits a lot, and reminded me that I'll always carry her in my heart. I'm happy to have had this experience, even if I'm still feeling a sense of loss over it every day as well.

So ... who else out there has had that sort of short but sweet romance? What was it like?

cross-posted from: https://sh.itjust.works/post/54227809

Source: https://infosec.exchange/@ryanc/115966143916087955

See also: Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/37638260

Non-binary people have been using the existing character"也"with a thing that looks like a Latin X on the side, so they're going with that.

U+323BF 𲎿

Unihan data

Does anyone have links to proper research or statistics regarding the negative impacts or poor quality of AI in business processes?

My sister in law, who is an accountant and doesn't understand computing outside of Excel (in other words, not at all), has been put in charge of a project to offload as much work onto AI as possible.

She's been sent on a course regarding how to set up an AI instance, and has no idea where to go with it ... I'm not sure if she's being set up for failure, or if the upper management are incompetent, or if they're going through the motions to keep stock prices up. Since this is a large multinational, it could be all three at the same time.

I'd like to help her manage expectations of those above, so that she doesn't get burned when it all inevitably fails, hence asking for links to studies :-)

Big text dump incoming ...

A couple of weeks ago I completely fell apart; I was ill, and pushed myself beyond my limits. The outcome was the most honest conversation I've ever had with my wife, and the conclusion we came to is that I need to air my emotions so I can process them healthily.

So, I've been trying to do that. I've cried at sad bits of TV shows, laughed joyously while teaching my wife to dance, and this last week at work I let myself be angry at incompetence.

When I was little I had emotional problems, and the solution at that time was physical discipline. Since coming through that I've been reserved and private, and taken a certain pride in being able to remain calm no matter what.

When I was angry at work I was careful not to direct it at a person, I focused on the task of fixing the problem. While doing this a member of my team came over to give me an update on his work, I nodded and said ok (all that was really needed) and he looked like a deer caught between the headlights.

I think I really scared him because he was subdued with me for the rest of the week, I've made sure he knows I wasn't angry with him.

So all that is to say, how do I deal with the guilt of scaring someone? I want him to be at ease around me ... my plan is to take some nice food in next week to share with everyone, but I haven't got any more tricks up my sleeve and I want to be able to express anger in a healthy manner in the future.

About a year ago I picked up a copy of Dirt 4 for very little money and put it on the side to play later (it appears that rally games drop in price when they no longer feature the latest cars).

One of the environments it features is Tarragona in Spain, which is where I live. Having actually started playing it I can say that the modeling and course design for my home stages is absolutely spot on - I live in a small village halfway up a small mountain which is often used for the WRC, and the stages really do feel like my daily commute.

The car handling, progression, team management stuff, etc, is good - with the variable difficulty settings it's very accessible to casuals like me :-)

At about 3/4 completion I'd give it top marks, and I'm enjoying it a lot more than the more simulation oriented rally games.

Screenshot for context

My work is up and down like a yoyo at the moment, to help avoid doom scrolling during quiet patches I've decided to start reading (nobody at work is going to pay attention to plain text on my screen, we're all in the same boat).

I've got a copy of Naomi Altman's The Power to start off with ... any other recommendations?

(Obviously can't be anything smutty or very funny because I need to be low-key, and lighter stuff would be easier to pick up and put down when I have actual work to do)

Thanks in advance :-)

Hi, Iḿ not in the US, but earlier this year had the opportunity to try shooting firearms of various sorts for the first time, and it's something I'd like expand my knowledge about ... when I go on youtube the videos I've seen have been American with a right-wing lean which range from comedic, through surreal, and into creepy.

It would be nice to see content from people who are vaguely normal.

(Edit: especially if it has to do with revolvers!)

Are there any other shows out there of this sort of lighthearted nature, yet made with quality writing, out there?

It feels like a lot of recent things we've watched has been a bit grim and/or relies on spectacle rather than telling a good story and working a few jokes in along the way ... the world is on fire, I'd like to stop it and get off, if only for a few minutes at a time.