No shit, Sherlock

I'm good until I run out, I guess.

Oh dear.

I dont like this game

Finally, my time to shine.

A little slimy and unconventional but I’m up for the challenge

I’m just confused

I'd say pretty fucked, one way or another.

I have no idea why situation would cause smoking weed and having sex with sharks to be a matter of life and death but I'm incredibly curious to find out

Pretty sure my time would be up.

I planned for this exact scenario

I like my odds

Either I'm a lawyer for warlocks making sure they don't enter tricky contracts with devils, which I assume pays well, or I'm a lawyer and a warlock so will soon have my own TV show.

I'm more worried about innocent bystanders tbh...

The cure is worse than the disease.

It’s great.

It’s the choice of a new generation.

I guess eternal life through some profane kind of undead cyborg magic... Bad maybe?

I have food and transport, I think I'll be ok.

Let loose the flaming giant elephants of war

I don't know what's in it, but its keeping me alive.

Well considering I only learnt to drive automatic, it’s not looking good.

Pretty good I think!

Guess Im poopin.

Vanth is from Etruscan mythology, a female demon that escorts the dead through the underworld. Generally seen as a helpful guide rather than mean or frightening. So if I can mix mythologies for the sake of a colorful mental image, Hell-Uber across the river Styx, please tip your driver.

On the plus side, I probably don't need much income as a demon.

If knowledge is real and can be applied to anything, I guess I'll be alright

I would survive just fine as long as you follow my instructions. I can live on a diet of 90% hay with a small amount of species appropriate pellets and a salad every day. I am going to need a lot of room to play and shouldn't be confined to a small cage. At minimum I need an exercise pen as my home base with at least 6 hours so I can run around the house and binky. I should have a box to hide in because I'm easily frightened and I would live underground in the wild. I will do better if you keep my water in a bowl but by all means put it in a bottle if i prefer that. It's better for me to stay hydrated than to try to exist within some ideal that doesn't work for me.

And for the love of God it's a myth that I don't need medical care! I have a very sensitive digestive system and it's a critical emergency if I don't eat for more than a few hours or if my eating slows and my poops get small. So many people say their lagomorphlecture just died with no warning but if they knew what the warnings were and took them to get treatment they would be ok.

I should definitely be soayed or neutered regardless of your society's beliefs about that. Uterine and testicular cancer are very common and I'm unlikely to live past 6bor 7 years old if you don't get me fixed.

I am a very social creature and I should be kept with a bonded mate. If I lose my mate I will become depressed and need either a new lagomorphlecture to keep me company or a lot of your time to help me get through it. It can help me accept the loss if you show me the body of my mate so I can understand and accept that they are gone.

I will provide you with further instructions for my care later on.

I have meat at least

Well, I guess I will be up all day and night.

I guess I'll just jump into the nearest body of water, even better if it's at night.

My mighty herd will protect me! 🐐

I guess something is better than nothing.

I'm used to it.

Can i manifest it as a super power?

I'm in GREAT shape. :D

Staying "alive" shouldn't be a problem.

Well I won't have any problems with doctors I suppose

Roll around in some kelp and then float away

I cast spells

I'm pretty happy.

Not happy about this, but present

I'm really impressed at how well I'm staying alive...wow!

Depends on where I live. I'm dead in the coming summer.

I guess I’m in my twenties forever now‽

I'm set for as long as breakfast is overburdened

I am the person who should have died at every turn, but somehow being the only one that lives to the end, I imagine.

or I die by licking a diseased corpse.

So, hard to tell if its good or bad.

I'll survive for a little bit but I will almost certainly be the cause of my own death.

....... Ohhh.......

...... Ohhhh nooooo........

(unless it doesn't have to be literal if I can get a job voicing Facebones let's fuckin gooooo)

Uhhhh...

Oh fuck.

At least I’ll be fed

Not too bad,

I didn't choose the chug life, the chug life choo-choo chose me!

(And it's got a picture of a train!)

I can't think of anything more metal than subsisting on arsenic, lead, and belladonna mixtures.

Well, coffee is essential. It's just more on the nose now.

Not nice

Depends on which one it is, one of them is significantly more helpful than the other.

It's me or the other guy

May very well go up in flames, is how bad.

I'm... uhh. I think I'm screwed here.

I feel pretty safe

Maybe I can try to convince people to put me in charge

Looks like I'm drinking my way out of this. Who wants a brewski?

I'm in command but my crew had BETTER stay on my good side.

I mean... I'm a pope and a king. I think I'll be alright.

I'll be OK.

Si vous dites mon nom, vous comprendrez.

Another day on the job, comrades

I guess I'm a black rabbit now. Could be worse.

For fuck sakes, can we not do this on Lemmy

Oh I'll be "Stayin' alive," alright.

Guess I'm setting fire to a lot of robots ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I spelt mine wrong.

I have to either rob or digitally pleasure someone named Cooper

Will you have a cup of tea? Ah go on, there’s plenty in the pot. Go on, have a cup of tea, so. Go on! Go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on ….

Very bad. I'll I've got is a really gross bagel

Not so bad

Time to stab Polyphemus in the eye and get outta this cave, I reckon.

Not bad at all.

I think it'll be okay come night time.

It's bad.

I sell tea, as 418 is a teapot, so I'd say not so bad

I'm gonna have what plants crave.

I gotta eat pineapples

I think I'll be ok.

Welp, time to change my diet, as if they didn't have it rough already by being lonely. Sorry little dudes

This is not how I expected to get a degree in arachnology

You got a quarter?

Suing beverage companies for having severed toes inside

I certainly wont be starving to death!

My username is a bird that steals fish. I'm not sure how I'm going to get on the good side of one, but I guess I'd better get used to either seafood or hunger

As long as I don't run out of fuel and crash...

It's my name, so I guess I'll do ok?

I'm not sure about nutritional value, but it could be worse

I'm in luck! 😁

Has a slightly toxic, mysandristic taste to it, but overall the stew is much more palatable than anything else that came from this awkward creature.

I’ll figure something out

I'll be just fine.

It's bad for you. I'm a steal yo girl, and if you come near my taniwha hideout, I'm going to eat you.

... I'm so high right now. That's probably how this ends for me: humans bringing me some cannabis, getting me too high, and leading me somewhere out of the way.

Sounds like I'll be doing psychedelics or phenethylamines possibly. Not a bad way to live.

Everyone will let the Wookie win?

I uh ... might be okay once I figure out what's going on

Brb, loading up on carbs.

Well, fuck

could be worse

Oranges and collared greens, I suppose. Could be worse.

I guess I'm a rightwing pod caster now.

Uhhhh I suppose I like cereal

I'll be fine

Oh well, I'll die happy

Every 3 letter agency would be after me shortly

Sorry guys, the end times are on us, but at least they're cute and fluffy.

I came up with the spelling based on the word "pattern", and this was just a screwy way of spelling it ~30 some years ago and it's just what I've always used. I'd probably be screwed if I had to rely on it, other than finding patterns in nature can help animals stay alive, I guess? That's all I got.

McDonald's stocks go up 200%

I can live off soiled bread I suppose

I'm going to pick my nose!

It's not just about me and my dream of doing nothing. It's about all of us. I don't know what happened to me at that hypnotherapist and, I don't know, maybe it was just shock and it's wearing off now, but when I saw that fat man keel over and die - Michael, we don't have a lot of time on this earth! We weren't meant to spend it this way. Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about about mission statements.

Well, I can hunt, I guess.

Basically no change.

Seeing as you can't eat rocks I'd practically be dead.

I will foolishly ride my dolly to safety like a wobbly skateboard. See you later losers!

Haha, I’ll still be around in millions of years.

I stare at the wall reciting pi over and over, while my body withers, mind untethered, consumed by a mathematical void.

Ooo fishies

The best I can make sense of it is that I make my money as some sort of emo catboy vtuber. Assuming I'm not already reasonably popular, that boils down to how good a streamer I can be and the economic factors of going into the EN vtubing industry after the initial boom. And I'm already at a disadvantage because "emo catboy" is a weak concept that lacks originality.

With the US healthcare system? Expensive.

People think I'm bullshitting all the time.

Guess I'd better whip out the scarves and space berets. I'll be just fiiine.

Not a lot changes

Im okay with this, whole movies exist with this outcome, good times ahead

I'm a very old Musketeer.

If you have one of those halo things your already kind of dead right?

Link and Shulk, doing it 69 style, would have to be involved.

We musn't speak of him. He is legend.

Ganon with the Morph Ball upgrade would be U N S T O P P A B L E

I'm just some random Lord now, which theoretically will come with resources so I should be okay

Pretty good actually.

I'm aceing at it, sadly.

I'd be just fine.

Maybe dying isn't so bad after all...

I'm fucked.

:,(

Uh oh...but if taken literally like the idea my best friend had when we were on acid and whip its, could be delectable. I'm willing to take the risk.

I got an RC car... At least I'll die having fun.

I'm already dead

your cash and your jewelry is what i expect

im now a vampire with a slutty thrall?

i guess theres worse ways to live

I would have to go back to reddit to get an "open in new tab" function. This username is actually because I created an account once (years ago) after nuking my first one just so I could have the "open in new tab" functionality back.

My name is genuinely not actually Steve so I'm good

The Grasshopper Mouse kills scorpions and then screams about it afterwards, so I think I'll do alright.

But what if it didn't happen in my timeline?

I'm fire proof, and a shit speller.

Yeah I’m pretty fucked if my ability to stay alive is predicated upon my assembly programming abilities. Don’t ask me to multiply.

The walls are closing in...

Curse this mortality, amiright fellow human?

Monté Christo was quite skillful.

Not bad, especially if she comes with her ship.

I try to save money anyway, so I guess it’ll be ok. At least as long as nobody needs avenged.

Bollocks.

Mecha + Magic = Mechagic Im in a magic mecha, i think im doing well

I think I'd be alright.

I need to work on my temper

Most of them are dead, but Mr Burns has enough money to keep me going a while.

Being a 'jockbox genius' means I'd be living on 'spam street', good buddy!

Would be nice to be buzzed all the time

Seems like a fun spell

I'm not gonna worry about it

I now rule a highly advanced, militaristic, and xenophobic alternate reality and have psionic abilities. It's not as great as is sounds, my future wife is going to psionically teleport a gray-goo bomb into my chest at the end of the big climactic boss fight.

I hope for your sake that your name isn't Jack.

I'm mostly fine, I hope

It doesn't have to be good, right?

I guess this one is a bit of a freebie for me.

Porn i guess

I was once told "meco" is Spanish for semen (likely not the formal word but slang or something with a dialect). So... 50/50?

I’m a tree.

Nothing changes for me.

I guess it's kill or be killed...

If everyone dressed like me the world would be a much less violent place

I... I don't know. I legitimately do not know.

Whatever it is, it’ll be tremendously important, but I won’t be able to convince anyone.

No one knows.

I’m pretty sure I’d be ok in multiple realities

Mine is the name of a character I used to play tabletop.

He was a Chaos Space Marine.

I think I'll be okay.

Omnipotence helps.

I feel like I'm not the one it's bad for.

I'm good. Nom nom nom

I’m good.

Suddenly I need to order a lot of explosives...

Stressful mostly

Bout the same, but my life expectancy just got extended by around a factor of 2

Hmm

I'm just glad it's not rouge because then I'd likely be a prostitute.

I gotta get to Greece!

Well, I was almost a music major.

I mean, probably wouldn't be bad initially. It would just get worse as time goes on.

I guess my fate is in the hands of the RNG gods.

Noisy.

She has a shotgun. I should be okay.

I guess I need to find a Gleemonex dealer.

Guess I'm a melee mercenary in a ranged weapons world now. Sucks, but at least I get self healing? Also an immunity, come to think of it.

I mean, you tell me.

If the environment is game rich, I could do ok. But if we’re talking animals that are skittish and I can’t get close to, I’d starve. Could probably use the shaft as part of a bow drill to start a fire, so I’d have that going for me.

Welp, im a vampire now

(Universal Infinite Shadow of earth is what my username means soo...)

Make of me what you will…

Silver Wings of Morning is a Shatterling ship of Gentian Line. Shatterlings exist six million years in the future. The ship is so large that it contains other ships in its hanger.

I will have no trouble surviving in this futuristic ship.

Pretty appropriate considering it means "The fuck is that?" where I'm from (not written the real way mind you, it would be "Quessé ça?" and that would still be "slang")

Pretty good I think.

Idk.

I'm not allowed to drink anything I guess

Oh my, this is not gonna go well.

Mine is a jolly good lot of fun as I fend off attacks with well-coined analogies.

Bamboo-fed, succulent and juicy steaks

I'm already gone.

I'll be fiiiiiine

I'm a fake Belgian/Dutchie.

shrugs I just do.

At least I'll never go hungry, but eventually I'll get sick of myself.

I’m still here.

Do you guys think Elon would let me take his SpaceX Starship in a time machine back to 2021 so I could fly to Mars and survive?

No, I do not have $4 billion to pay for this endeavor, I'll just take out a loan and tell the bank its for a scientific breakthrough.

Better than the next guy's.

I hope I don’t need a boat. I’m fine if I need a lesbian.

I'm gonna need a bigger van.

At least I'll have food.

Sweet, I'm a wizard.

I guess I am drilling wells? Maybe manageable.

I'm gonna be A-ok

My fitness is questionable, but my knowledge is vast. I'll team up and be ok.

I'm seriously.

I think my username says it all. I'm kind of aloof and independent anyway so, being on my own is how I survive best. And nothing really gets me down, I don't own anyone else's sh#t and I just do my own thing and then I'm off on some other pursuit. I think it's sort of an ADHD but I love it kind of thing.

So it's now a life and death situation for me to ensure cheetahs don't go extinct?

I wish I chose MeeKrob now.

I am in the Matrix where no one can find me.

Please, ya gotta help me Tony! I don't know what else to do!

I mean, it’s pretty good name for a streamer I think, so I could probably do something there

... I think it'd be something you'd call an oxymoron.

"CanopyFlyer" is a reference to my skydiving days.

I have a tad over 4500 skydives.

Even though my last jump was 18 years ago, I think I'd be pretty safe if someone threw me out a plane with a rig on.

I think for me, there'd be some sort of lord involved. Couldn't tell you what would happen, though.

things just work out, it seems

My opacity causes screen burn ins.

I am me. Nothing changes, all is well.

I guess this tree has leaves on it I can eat?

I guess I'm doomed.

~Doom de doom doom de doom doom doom!

Welp. I'm just dead. I can make it to level 6 or 7, but this game is the original souls-like.

I mean, as a software developer I kinda already have the means to stay alive. I’m an underpaid one, but I’m alive non the less.

Bizzle is my legal name so I guess I'm chillin

Need to find a way to become a lovecraftian horror stat

I would get paid to help people be assholes.

Oh shit, I'm gonna have to remember how my past me did this the last time around.

Renere

Long as I can evade the authorities I should make bank

Pumpkin seed oil every day 😋

Either really good, or really bad

Well considering Huntress from dead by daylight is my namesake depends what she is supposed to keep me alive from. Starving in the post Apocalypse she has me covered, but if she's not bound there's a good chance I end up as dinner instead

Itll either kill me in a burst of inspiration to the dome or be a very colorful and interesting way to kill people.

I guess something involving swimming?

Guess I'm eating a lot of waffles from now on

Well..., by being charming?

I think I have to steal things from glowing bugs.

Uhhhh, depends on if I'm jiggling the sackles or having the sackles jiggled?

I don't know how this is going to go down, but I believe this strange new world is full of regret for me and those around me.

About the same.

I go to your wedding

If I die, you die. If I eat, you eat. If I drink, you drink. ...

Russian fucking roulette

I'm just a civilian here.

Sigh... unzips