No shit, Sherlock

I'm good until I run out, I guess.

Oh dear.

I dont like this game

A little slimy and unconventional but I’m up for the challenge

Finally, my time to shine.

I’m just confused

I have no idea why situation would cause smoking weed and having sex with sharks to be a matter of life and death but I'm incredibly curious to find out

I'd say pretty fucked, one way or another.

Pretty sure my time would be up.

I like my odds

I planned for this exact scenario

Either I'm a lawyer for warlocks making sure they don't enter tricky contracts with devils, which I assume pays well, or I'm a lawyer and a warlock so will soon have my own TV show.

I'm more worried about innocent bystanders tbh...

I don't know what's in it, but its keeping me alive.

I guess eternal life through some profane kind of undead cyborg magic... Bad maybe?

The cure is worse than the disease.

It’s great.

It’s the choice of a new generation.

I have food and transport, I think I'll be ok.

Let loose the flaming giant elephants of war

Well considering I only learnt to drive automatic, it’s not looking good.

Vanth is from Etruscan mythology, a female demon that escorts the dead through the underworld. Generally seen as a helpful guide rather than mean or frightening. So if I can mix mythologies for the sake of a colorful mental image, Hell-Uber across the river Styx, please tip your driver.

On the plus side, I probably don't need much income as a demon.

Guess Im poopin.

Pretty good I think!

If knowledge is real and can be applied to anything, I guess I'll be alright

I would survive just fine as long as you follow my instructions. I can live on a diet of 90% hay with a small amount of species appropriate pellets and a salad every day. I am going to need a lot of room to play and shouldn't be confined to a small cage. At minimum I need an exercise pen as my home base with at least 6 hours so I can run around the house and binky. I should have a box to hide in because I'm easily frightened and I would live underground in the wild. I will do better if you keep my water in a bowl but by all means put it in a bottle if i prefer that. It's better for me to stay hydrated than to try to exist within some ideal that doesn't work for me.

And for the love of God it's a myth that I don't need medical care! I have a very sensitive digestive system and it's a critical emergency if I don't eat for more than a few hours or if my eating slows and my poops get small. So many people say their lagomorphlecture just died with no warning but if they knew what the warnings were and took them to get treatment they would be ok.

I should definitely be soayed or neutered regardless of your society's beliefs about that. Uterine and testicular cancer are very common and I'm unlikely to live past 6bor 7 years old if you don't get me fixed.

I am a very social creature and I should be kept with a bonded mate. If I lose my mate I will become depressed and need either a new lagomorphlecture to keep me company or a lot of your time to help me get through it. It can help me accept the loss if you show me the body of my mate so I can understand and accept that they are gone.

I will provide you with further instructions for my care later on.

My mighty herd will protect me! 🐐

I guess I'll just jump into the nearest body of water, even better if it's at night.

I have meat at least

I guess something is better than nothing.

Well, I guess I will be up all day and night.

Can i manifest it as a super power?

I'm used to it.

Staying "alive" shouldn't be a problem.

Well I won't have any problems with doctors I suppose

I'm in GREAT shape. :D

Not happy about this, but present

I'm pretty happy.

I guess I’m in my twenties forever now‽

Roll around in some kelp and then float away

I'm set for as long as breakfast is overburdened

I cast spells

Depends on where I live. I'm dead in the coming summer.

I'm really impressed at how well I'm staying alive...wow!

Well, coffee is essential. It's just more on the nose now.

I feel pretty safe

Maybe I can try to convince people to put me in charge

I am the person who should have died at every turn, but somehow being the only one that lives to the end, I imagine.

or I die by licking a diseased corpse.

So, hard to tell if its good or bad.

Not too bad,

I didn't choose the chug life, the chug life choo-choo chose me!

(And it's got a picture of a train!)

Not nice

I can't think of anything more metal than subsisting on arsenic, lead, and belladonna mixtures.

May very well go up in flames, is how bad.

I'm in command but my crew had BETTER stay on my good side.

At least I’ll be fed

Oh fuck.

I'm... uhh. I think I'm screwed here.

I'll be OK.

Depends on which one it is, one of them is significantly more helpful than the other.

Uhhhh...

....... Ohhh.......

...... Ohhhh nooooo........

(unless it doesn't have to be literal if I can get a job voicing Facebones let's fuckin gooooo)

Looks like I'm drinking my way out of this. Who wants a brewski?

It's me or the other guy

I'll survive for a little bit but I will almost certainly be the cause of my own death.

I mean... I'm a pope and a king. I think I'll be alright.

I spelt mine wrong.

Oh I'll be "Stayin' alive," alright.

I think I'll be ok.

I'm gonna have what plants crave.

Welp, time to change my diet, as if they didn't have it rough already by being lonely. Sorry little dudes

Si vous dites mon nom, vous comprendrez.

Very bad. I'll I've got is a really gross bagel

I sell tea, as 418 is a teapot, so I'd say not so bad

I have to either rob or digitally pleasure someone named Cooper

This is not how I expected to get a degree in arachnology

It's bad.

Another day on the job, comrades

Time to stab Polyphemus in the eye and get outta this cave, I reckon.

Not so bad

Not bad at all.

I guess I'm a black rabbit now. Could be worse.

I think it'll be okay come night time.

Will you have a cup of tea? Ah go on, there’s plenty in the pot. Go on, have a cup of tea, so. Go on! Go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on ….

For fuck sakes, can we not do this on Lemmy

I gotta eat pineapples

Guess I'm setting fire to a lot of robots ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Uhhhh I suppose I like cereal

It's bad for you. I'm a steal yo girl, and if you come near my taniwha hideout, I'm going to eat you.

... I'm so high right now. That's probably how this ends for me: humans bringing me some cannabis, getting me too high, and leading me somewhere out of the way.

It's my name, so I guess I'll do ok?

I uh ... might be okay once I figure out what's going on

My username is a bird that steals fish. I'm not sure how I'm going to get on the good side of one, but I guess I'd better get used to either seafood or hunger

I’ll figure something out

I'll be fine

I'll be just fine.

You got a quarter?

Oh well, I'll die happy

Oranges and collared greens, I suppose. Could be worse.

could be worse

I guess I'm a rightwing pod caster now.

I'm not sure about nutritional value, but it could be worse

Sorry guys, the end times are on us, but at least they're cute and fluffy.

I'm in luck! 😁

Every 3 letter agency would be after me shortly

Suing beverage companies for having severed toes inside

I certainly wont be starving to death!

As long as I don't run out of fuel and crash...

Has a slightly toxic, mysandristic taste to it, but overall the stew is much more palatable than anything else that came from this awkward creature.

Sounds like I'll be doing psychedelics or phenethylamines possibly. Not a bad way to live.

Everyone will let the Wookie win?

Brb, loading up on carbs.

Well, fuck

I came up with the spelling based on the word "pattern", and this was just a screwy way of spelling it ~30 some years ago and it's just what I've always used. I'd probably be screwed if I had to rely on it, other than finding patterns in nature can help animals stay alive, I guess? That's all I got.

I'm aceing at it, sadly.

People think I'm bullshitting all the time.

I'm going to pick my nose!

Well, I can hunt, I guess.

I'd be just fine.

Seeing as you can't eat rocks I'd practically be dead.

We musn't speak of him. He is legend.

Ooo fishies

Haha, I’ll still be around in millions of years.

:,(

I'm just some random Lord now, which theoretically will come with resources so I should be okay

I'm a very old Musketeer.

I'm fucked.

Guess I'd better whip out the scarves and space berets. I'll be just fiiine.

I will foolishly ride my dolly to safety like a wobbly skateboard. See you later losers!

It's not just about me and my dream of doing nothing. It's about all of us. I don't know what happened to me at that hypnotherapist and, I don't know, maybe it was just shock and it's wearing off now, but when I saw that fat man keel over and die - Michael, we don't have a lot of time on this earth! We weren't meant to spend it this way. Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about about mission statements.

I guess that I'm now praying to a really shitty version of Satan, uh. Or perhaps selling really cheap lamps?

("Lvxferre" is just broken Latin for "Lucifer", or "light-bringer")

Basically no change.

Maybe dying isn't so bad after all...

With the US healthcare system? Expensive.

I stare at the wall reciting pi over and over, while my body withers, mind untethered, consumed by a mathematical void.

Im okay with this, whole movies exist with this outcome, good times ahead

I can live off soiled bread I suppose

The best I can make sense of it is that I make my money as some sort of emo catboy vtuber. Assuming I'm not already reasonably popular, that boils down to how good a streamer I can be and the economic factors of going into the EN vtubing industry after the initial boom. And I'm already at a disadvantage because "emo catboy" is a weak concept that lacks originality.

Not a lot changes

If you have one of those halo things your already kind of dead right?

Link and Shulk, doing it 69 style, would have to be involved.

Ganon with the Morph Ball upgrade would be U N S T O P P A B L E

McDonald's stocks go up 200%

Pretty good actually.

Bollocks.

Uh oh...but if taken literally like the idea my best friend had when we were on acid and whip its, could be delectable. I'm willing to take the risk.

My name is genuinely not actually Steve so I'm good

I'm mostly fine, I hope

It doesn't have to be good, right?

I hope for your sake that your name isn't Jack.

I got an RC car... At least I'll die having fun.

The Grasshopper Mouse kills scorpions and then screams about it afterwards, so I think I'll do alright.

But what if it didn't happen in my timeline?

I'm fire proof, and a shit speller.

I now rule a highly advanced, militaristic, and xenophobic alternate reality and have psionic abilities. It's not as great as is sounds, my future wife is going to psionically teleport a gray-goo bomb into my chest at the end of the big climactic boss fight.

I'm not gonna worry about it

Seems like a fun spell

Would be nice to be buzzed all the time

Yeah I’m pretty fucked if my ability to stay alive is predicated upon my assembly programming abilities. Don’t ask me to multiply.

I'm already dead

The walls are closing in...

Curse this mortality, amiright fellow human?

Being a 'jockbox genius' means I'd be living on 'spam street', good buddy!

your cash and your jewelry is what i expect

Most of them are dead, but Mr Burns has enough money to keep me going a while.

I need to work on my temper

Porn i guess

Monté Christo was quite skillful.

I think I'd be alright.

im now a vampire with a slutty thrall?

i guess theres worse ways to live

I would have to go back to reddit to get an "open in new tab" function. This username is actually because I created an account once (years ago) after nuking my first one just so I could have the "open in new tab" functionality back.

I guess this one is a bit of a freebie for me.

Not bad, especially if she comes with her ship.

Mecha + Magic = Mechagic Im in a magic mecha, i think im doing well

I try to save money anyway, so I guess it’ll be ok. At least as long as nobody needs avenged.

Whatever it is, it’ll be tremendously important, but I won’t be able to convince anyone.

Omnipotence helps.

Do you guys think Elon would let me take his SpaceX Starship in a time machine back to 2021 so I could fly to Mars and survive?

No, I do not have $4 billion to pay for this endeavor, I'll just take out a loan and tell the bank its for a scientific breakthrough.

I... I don't know. I legitimately do not know.

Well, I was almost a music major.

I guess my fate is in the hands of the RNG gods.

I guess it's kill or be killed...

I’m a tree.

She has a shotgun. I should be okay.

I'm just glad it's not rouge because then I'd likely be a prostitute.

I’m good.

I feel like I'm not the one it's bad for.

Mine is the name of a character I used to play tabletop.

He was a Chaos Space Marine.

I think I'll be okay.

No one knows.

Oh my, this is not gonna go well.

Pretty good I think.

Pretty appropriate considering it means "The fuck is that?" where I'm from (not written the real way mind you, it would be "Quessé ça?" and that would still be "slang")

Make of me what you will…

Welp, im a vampire now

(Universal Infinite Shadow of earth is what my username means soo...)

If the environment is game rich, I could do ok. But if we’re talking animals that are skittish and I can’t get close to, I’d starve. Could probably use the shaft as part of a bow drill to start a fire, so I’d have that going for me.

Guess I'm a melee mercenary in a ranged weapons world now. Sucks, but at least I get self healing? Also an immunity, come to think of it.

I gotta get to Greece!

Nothing changes for me.

I was once told "meco" is Spanish for semen (likely not the formal word but slang or something with a dialect). So... 50/50?

Idk.

Mine is a jolly good lot of fun as I fend off attacks with well-coined analogies.

I'm a fake Belgian/Dutchie.

At least I'll never go hungry, but eventually I'll get sick of myself.

Bout the same, but my life expectancy just got extended by around a factor of 2

I guess I need to find a Gleemonex dealer.

If everyone dressed like me the world would be a much less violent place

I mean, you tell me.

Noisy.

I mean, probably wouldn't be bad initially. It would just get worse as time goes on.

Hmm

Stressful mostly

Suddenly I need to order a lot of explosives...

I'm good. Nom nom nom

I’m pretty sure I’d be ok in multiple realities

I’m still here.

shrugs I just do.

I'll be fiiiiiine

I'm already gone.

Bamboo-fed, succulent and juicy steaks

I'm not allowed to drink anything I guess

Silver Wings of Morning is a Shatterling ship of Gentian Line. Shatterlings exist six million years in the future. The ship is so large that it contains other ships in its hanger.

I will have no trouble surviving in this futuristic ship.

I'm gonna be A-ok

I guess I am drilling wells? Maybe manageable.

I think for me, there'd be some sort of lord involved. Couldn't tell you what would happen, though.

So it's now a life and death situation for me to ensure cheetahs don't go extinct?

I wish I chose MeeKrob now.

Sweet, I'm a wizard.

I hope I don’t need a boat. I’m fine if I need a lesbian.

I think my username says it all. I'm kind of aloof and independent anyway so, being on my own is how I survive best. And nothing really gets me down, I don't own anyone else's sh#t and I just do my own thing and then I'm off on some other pursuit. I think it's sort of an ADHD but I love it kind of thing.

I am in the Matrix where no one can find me.

... I think it'd be something you'd call an oxymoron.

Better than the next guy's.

Please, ya gotta help me Tony! I don't know what else to do!

At least I'll have food.

My fitness is questionable, but my knowledge is vast. I'll team up and be ok.

I'm gonna need a bigger van.

I mean, it’s pretty good name for a streamer I think, so I could probably do something there

things just work out, it seems

"CanopyFlyer" is a reference to my skydiving days.

I have a tad over 4500 skydives.

Even though my last jump was 18 years ago, I think I'd be pretty safe if someone threw me out a plane with a rig on.

I'm seriously.

Well considering Huntress from dead by daylight is my namesake depends what she is supposed to keep me alive from. Starving in the post Apocalypse she has me covered, but if she's not bound there's a good chance I end up as dinner instead

I guess this tree has leaves on it I can eat?

Oh shit, I'm gonna have to remember how my past me did this the last time around.

Renere

I think I have to steal things from glowing bugs.

About the same.

I don't know how this is going to go down, but I believe this strange new world is full of regret for me and those around me.

Either really good, or really bad

I guess I'm doomed.

~Doom de doom doom de doom doom doom!

Uhhhh, depends on if I'm jiggling the sackles or having the sackles jiggled?

Pumpkin seed oil every day 😋

Long as I can evade the authorities I should make bank

I need uranium, fast!

Guess I'm eating a lot of waffles from now on

I would get paid to help people be assholes.

Well at least my shoes will stay tied

Welp. I'm just dead. I can make it to level 6 or 7, but this game is the original souls-like.

Sigh... unzips

I am me. Nothing changes, all is well.

I'm just a civilian here.

Itll either kill me in a burst of inspiration to the dome or be a very colorful and interesting way to kill people.

Russian fucking roulette

I guess something involving swimming?

If I die, you die. If I eat, you eat. If I drink, you drink. ...

Name’s Donebrach. It ain’t foreign.

I go to your wedding

My opacity causes screen burn ins.

Well..., by being charming?

I mean, as a software developer I kinda already have the means to stay alive. I’m an underpaid one, but I’m alive non the less.

Bizzle is my legal name so I guess I'm chillin

I’m already dead

Need to find a way to become a lovecraftian horror stat

Oh shit...

I can handle it..