Guys who refuse to wash their arse because it’s “gay”.
The sheer amount of self-hatred, insecurity and homophobia caused by toxic masculinity and shitty upbringings is astounding that you’d rather have swamp ass than be worried you’re gay.
Not saying it doesn't happen but I've seen this said a few times now, and have never heard of anyone who actually refuses to clean their arse. Have I just lived a sheltered life or what?
I did. I was talking to some guys and somehow my bidet came up and everyone found it pretty amusing and "gay". I said something like: well imagine you accidentally touch dogshit or something and then wipe it off with a piece of paper and go: well that's good enough until my next shower.
One guy said: what do you mean, next shower? And i said, that's your next opportunity to clean your ass with water and soap. Where everyone seems to agree that was also for gays.
It's extra funny to me that in a previous conversation one of the guys said his girlfriend hates giving head. I wonder why mr. Poopy butthole.
lol actually just look. Literally tens-hundreds of stories. It’s not a global conspiracy or group false memory. I get the Reddit hate but that’s just silly.
Edit: some of you struggle. Y’all understand that I can lie about a personal experience much more easily than I could lie about the combined hundreds of experiences of mutually individual people on the internet. How is it that until I’ve personally experienced it it must be false? Real cream of the crop with you lot.
I sincerely apologize for providing evidence of my claim that some men don’t wash their ass. I’ll remember for next time that I specifically have to know men that don’t wash their ass for my claim to have any validity, or else theKalash will not believe me.
This really speaks volumns about what social media has done to the mind of some people.
You really don't see the problem when being asked for "acutal exprience" and someone unironically points to a comment on the internet? That's literally the opposite of actual exprience.
It’s usually partners complaining that they stink because they don’t wash themselves properly.
Some guys openly just admit it because they just don’t realise that it’s not normal. So fearful that they won’t put their hand anywhere near their own ass.
An ex of mine refused to wipe and would shower after every poop, claiming tp was ineffective, BUT WOULD ALSO refuse to purchase a bidet; the toxic masculinity here was thinking he was outsmarting us all while also contaminating every shower he had ever used
Washing your ass under the shower doesn't "contaminate" it. Sure, use toilet paper first, then go wash yourself. But you would be surprised how much shit (literally) is in the air. It's everywhere, even on your toothbrush.
Tell his wife that he loved her, because love is "gay" and "feminine"
Firstly, audibly expressing your heterosexuality isn't gay.
Secondly, there is nothing feminine about 2 guys loving each other, they are both guys so it's the most masculine sexual/romantic pairing.
Yeah, working in a factory was full of the bullshit like this, but this was the weirdest example. Things that boiled down to "No, I can wear less protective equipment than you!" were very common.
Even if you take the "gay argument" out of things, why would you let a group of 4 divorced guys give you relationship advice?
Just in case you haven't noticed yet, youtube has started putting trackers on their links when you copy them. You can delete the question mark and the si= string and the link works without the tracker
To be fair, having sex with women is pretty gay. They're girly, weak and smell nice.
Nothing more masculine than two smelly men fucking each other in the arse. Dominating this guy who's just as strong if not stronger than you, then enduring the pain of Big Jim's rod penetrating you, because you're a manly man who's made of tougher stuff.
Edit: Inserting peeled ginger into the anus. Ok, I'd heard of this with horses, it's even mentioned in one of Sir Terry Pratchett's books. Id not heard of people doing it to themselves or each other but I'm not surprised."
I've been to Gay pride parades, gay bars and gay clubs. The gayest experience I've had in my life was working in the trades with straight men doing everything they can to prove their masculinity at all costs.
These men will use women as mere possessive objects in order to prove to their masculinity towards other men. By oversexualizing all women while at the same time belittling all that their partner does. As if women were merely currency for respect among men.
They hated gays and trans people so much that they would spend an extremely uncomfortable amount of time telling you how much they were "disgusted" by these people.
They hated on any man who who did not possess physical masculine traits. Those traits that they hated? Not being muscular. Not being tall. Not being fat (what???). Having longer hair.
But the gayest thing these guys refused to do was stand up for themselves against unjust authority. They would spend the most all their free time explicitly telling you how much they hate their boss. How stupid their boss is. How much of an asshole their boss is. How they would kick their bosses ass. Just talk an absolute big game.
Then the boss would come around the corner and you'd never see a bunch of grown ass men tuck their dicks between their legs faster than these guys. Their voices raise up a couple pitches and suddenly they are acting as subservient as how they believe their wives should be.
It's in this unspoken idea of respect for Men in Authority that you see the "gayest" trait in these toxic men. But not in a good gay way. A toxic gay trait that comes from a deep place built on oppression and repression of ones self. Where respect from your fellow man at all costs is the most valuable thing they crave. Where respect from your boss holds even higher value. Where respect from men in higher positions is held at even higher value.
All they care about is to be noticed by other men. That's kinda gay dude.
The cost of all this effort to gain respect from exclusively other men is their dignity. And they are more than willing to give up their dignity to be noticed by men in positions of authority.
To these guys, questioning or standing up to authority is gay. Standing up for yourself is gay. Demanding to be treated with dignity is gay. They will be the first ones to kick you down for disrespecting authority.
I've walked into a club bathroom and saw two guys giving another guy a blowjob. That's still not as gay as watching "straight" acting men grovel at the feet of boss in any trades.
To give you an idea, I'm 2m/6ft6, do weight lifting and I'm not particularly worried about the size of my dick. I may be insecure about many things, but not about my manliness.
Anyway, these kind of insecure men always try to out macho me. It's so fucking tiring. I'm basically straight (never say never), but I like stuff these kinds of men often find gay, because I'm not an anti-intellectual moron who has the maturity of a 12 year old boy or cares too much about what other people think. It's like they want to whip out their dicks and measure each other all the time. What kind of manchild cares so much about what other people think, that they can't listen to classical music, dress nicely, or read a book? As you say, these men are too weak to have opinions of their own or stand-up to authority.
They're so deeply insecure, it's fucking sad. Pathetic even. Not that I feel much sympathy for them, especially the older ones who've had time to mature, because they inevitably cause you grief. They're at best annoying, but can be outright dangerous. The whole machismo, kiss the boot, contempt for the weak thing is a toxic cocktail. No surprise who they vote for either, always love to suck the dick of a strong leader who tells them they're better than someone else.
You know those Harvard implicit association tests? They have one for racism, but they also have one for homophobia. Certainly not without their flaws, but I took one. Turns out I have a bias against straight people. No mystery how that happened, given so many men are toxic.
The trade fields are absolutely insanely full of men telling each other how manly they are and how not gay they are with the "notice me" mode that it's kinda 'dude... if you want guys to hit on you... you're going about it all wrong.'
Kudos for being able to say what you did, while using gay as a "derogatory" word, and not fucking it up in a way that would lead an uncharitable interpretation of what you said.
That being said, I absolutely agree with you, and the most homophobic shit I've ever heard came from guys who were so insecure about their sexuality, in a way that signalled to virtually everyone who was secure, that there was something about themselves they didn't want to accept.
Had an absolute asshole of a Lieutenant over my platoon while deployed to Iraq. We get there and they're issuing out bed linens. We're all thrilled because we're getting actual beds and not cots. This motherfucker refuses the linens because "they have flowers on them", then proceeds to demand a cot for himself. He slept in the cot in his sleeping bag instead.
He was also Mormon, attempted to proselytize every second he got, and proudly declared his virginity (he was in his late 20s at the time) when NO ONE ASKED to hear about that shit.
The Aztecs, that would cut hearts out of people and fought with clubs edged with razor sharp rocks, worshipped a flower god (Xōchipilli) and a hummingbird god (Huītzilōpōchtli), those pansies.
I’m going to be honest here - being surrounded by hummingbirds is terrifying. Not only does the buzzing and needle beaks make you think of the mosquitos in jumanji, but they also teleport from place to place while hovering.
Wait, what do you mean by a cot? In my British English a cot is what babies sleep in and has tall bars on the sides to stop them falling out. I'm guessing this isn't the same.
In the UK a crib is a smaller cot for newborns. And what you call a cot looks like a stretcher with trampoline legs, I haven't ever seen one of these to hear what Brits call them.
Besides physical violence, the most absurd thing I've seen was a man who bought a car after his wife pleaded not to because it would bankrupt them. He didn't like that she was "telling him what to do." They had two perfectly fine vehicles btw.
I heard a motorcycle salesman tell a customer to call his wife and ask if he could have his balls back for a couple of hours so he'd be able to make a decision on his own.
So funny how poorly this would go for me. I'd just tell the guy he's being a dingus and go to a neighboring town's dealer in hopes of finding someone less douchey.
My last car purchase involved something like this but without the misogyny. I knew exactly what I wanted, for how much, and had my own external financing. The dude loudly sighed on the test drive multiple times after trying to build a rapport unsuccessfully. I was perfectly courteous to him, but I wasn't giving in to his sales pitch one inch.
Sorry guy, I view you as the cashier at Walmart and not my buddy who's gonna get me a killer deal on undercoating.
Weird, I know a couple who did exactly this about 13 months ago. They're divorced now. Unfortunately they spawned a child who will now have to deal with two parents who hate each other and can't stop fighting in front of them at every meeting.
All from some kind of weird macho trip fuelled by insecurity.
I just had a concrete floor cut for plumbing, and neither of the guys wore a mask or respirator which is insanely unhealthy. I have a feeling it was "not manly".
I worked one summer at the same factory as my dad. One day I was operating a cutting machine and my dad came by because I wasn't wearing any safety equipment. He suggested (not told) to wear the gear but I refused because no one else uses it. He said thats fine, it's my choice but he suggested I walk around the factory floor and count how many workers had all their fingers. I put on the safety equipment. Later on while having lunch with the two other guys in our area I noticed both were missing fingers.
If you're careful you may never need the protection a seat belt provides. It's still foolish and risky to go without it. Table saw guards, etc. are the same.
I don't imagine you have to worry about it. It's more of am issue for them because it was frequent excessive lengthy exposures. It wasn't helped by the fact that they didn't wash their hands a lot.
Occasional exposure isn't going to do much. Some people even use kerosene (diesel) can be used to wash some things off your hands. But you want to avoid it when possible.
Another reason I hate the EPA "safety" gas can nozzles. Because I've never felt more safe than when I'm covered in gasoline.
Generally, I'm all for things that limit emissions and improve safety. I always thought they were a PITA, but couldn't really be that much worse than the ones I see people use at the track usually.
I finally picked one up because it was all they had at the store, and holy shit those "safety tanks" are a nightmare by comparison. They spill so much fuel and after only a couple of years the seals on mine have gone bad and leak even more. I still would like to add a flame arrestor into the necks, but it amazes me at how awful they are.
I wholly understand why they exist and what all the safety features are for (preventing fuel from spilling if they're tipped/dropped, releasing fuel vapors, etc) but they seem utterly useless when I inevitably spill at least half a cup of fuel per 5 gal, just due to how poorly they're made.
Fuels are mostly hydrocarbons and those are hydrophobic and lipophilic. i.e they dissolve greasy/fatty things and your skin contains oils (which the fuel dissolves and thus strips out) and your cells are basically bags of water where the bag part (cell membrane) is made up of phospholipids (basically a type of fat) so that gets degraded too. None of that is good for your skin.
These are typically the big right wingers who later in life live in a constant state of rage because they're crippled or disabled and blame the government or immigrants for the fact that they live on a $1200/mo disability check, can't work, and have nothing to their name. At least that's my personal experience.
The worst I have heard was when my husband's old boss was proudly bragging about how he didn't even leave work to be with his wife while she was giving birth to their first child.
He honestly believed that was something to be proud of.
We live in Australia too, so it's not like he had American orphan crushing machine to blame. He was just a horrible piece of shit.
When I was 18 and my buddy was 17, we went to the beach. He wouldn't let me put sunscreen on his back because that would make him gay. What if a woman saw?
He ended up with a severly blistered back, horrible, serious burns.
Me, I went up to the cute girls and just said excuse me hehehe.... I can't reach my own back.
The most obvious one I have experience with is guys refusing to wear a helmet while riding a motorcycle because they're so tuff and manly and they "just won't crash".
I wear a helmet because it will protect my beautiful face if I fall off, and because it keeps bugs and birds from hitting the aforementioned rugged bearded handsomeness at high speeds thus preventing some accidents, and because I can have one with a cool design on it.
Not just motorcycles in my case but literally any child or adult I've ever seen ride a bike or use a skateboard in my entire life while strolling through town. Not a single civilian wears a helmet these days. I see preteens rolling and doing tricks on their skateboards like they're living out some early 2000's Tony Hawk game for the Playstation. A few people even hook their strollers up to their bikes and wear nothing.
One time cops had to be called in because some vengeful people who probably would've otherwise been shooters were using the opportunity to trip riders as they rode. Did it change anything? Nope, they still wore nothing and still made themselves vulnerable to the same thing if anyone would ever want to do it again. Cops never enforced what is actually a helmet/pad mandate and I guess it's not a CPS concern either, which stands out given their history.
Only a couple of friends of mine serve as an exception to the observation. One day some peers asked "why are you wearing a helmet and pads, you know, like little girls" and I'll never forget how they responded with "why are you wearing nothing, you know, like poor people?"
Tbf that's not toxic masculinity usually, just stupidity. It's the same shit for men and women a like, and some idiots even teach their spawns to ride without one. But I guess you only buy helmet for the kids you want to keep...
If something I've learned from 15 years of bmx and MTB, is that there's no such a ride that doesn't warrant using a helmet; was it visiting shop, picking kid from daycare or a day ride
I disagree I would say most kids/teen's refusing to wear helmets for cycling and skating are doing it because they think it's uncool, why is it uncool? Because it makes you look less tough afraid of falling, definitely toxic masculinity.
Head injuries, accidental bad falls can ruin your life.
I'd call it toxic masculinity if it was primarily a male problem. In skateparks sure it is, but when you look at the streets people commuting, a helmet is a rare sight and it's almost even more common to see a guy with helmet than a woman.
It's similar to toxic masculinity, but I'd rather call it hivemindlessness lol
I’d call it toxic masculinity if it was primarily a male problem.
Toxic masculinity is not a solely male problem, it's a set of behaviors that's harmful or potentially harmful to either the person itself or people around them that is perceived as normal masculine behavior.
It’s similar to toxic masculinity, but I’d rather call it hivemindlessness lol
Those are the same things, Toxic masculinity is literally the product of the hivemind, the idea that you are a wuss if you protect your brain and wear a helmet isn't something that you are born with.
If your risk calculations exclude every other person on the streets, sure I can understand why skipping helmet in order to preserve cool factor and hairstyle seems reasonable.
If you count in the fact that any idiot might just hit you down with their car after mixing pedals or some kid run in front of you, it's just obvious to wear a helmet unless if you're an idiot.
Using a helmet is basically comparable to a seat belt. Zero effort really, just a habit you're supposed to learn from childhood and automatic ever since.
How would you call a person refusing to use seatbelt other than a idiot?
Yes exiting your house is also a huge risk, and statistically staying home is even bigger risk. Better just lock yourself to a soft room in an institute or commit unalive. /s
You clearly seem unable to understand what a stupid risk is. You're ignorant to the point you'd take a risk with zero possibility for a positive outcome, just for your fragile ego. Just like the rednecks too cool to wear a seatbelt or a construction worker at hights without harness.
I'd call it fair if it was for the thrill, that's cool and we all have done and are doing stupid dangerous things for it. That's maybe not always smart, but it's what keeps us alive. That's what we're talking about when we think of calculated risks. If I hit this trail, there's a chance I'll hit a tree if I make a mistake. Or I'll grind that rock garden with my face. I'm well aware of those risks.
Stupidity is to imagine those risks don't exist or let your ego ignore them because "I'm so fucking tough" or "I don't want to mess my haircut and I'm not gonna fall anyways I'm not a kid"
Yep that's the dumbest thing. I've gone through clouds of bugs that hurt my chest when I wasn't wearing my armored jacket, and I knew they would have felt worse on my face by far, but I never felt them since I never ride without the helmet.
Even disregarding the obvious safety need, wearing a helmet improves the rider's comfort by blocking bugs and debris. Maybe they think it's manly to have bugs in your teeth and nostrils?
I've never ridden a motorcycle, but I have had a bug (and part of its web) go into my mouth and down my throat while biking. Just thinking about it makes me want to gag. If, after that, you offered me a bike helmet with a front visor, I'd have put that thing on ASAP.
Now take that bug incident and make it happen at 30-50 mph? No way would I have my face hole exposed for bugs to invade! (And that's totally apart from the safety issue.)
and because it keeps bugs and birds from hitting the aforementioned rugged bearded handsomeness at high speeds
I wear a full face helmet because holy shit I know one saved my face. But even if the helmet wasn't a separator from potential meat crayon situation, I'd still wear it for this reason right here. Seriously, I've had some beetles hit my helmet so hard it made me recoil, I can't imagine taking one straight to face like that.
For me it's between refusing to use an umbrella because "it's gay" or refusing to sit in the middle seat of a work truck because of the same reason as the first.
You joke, but going back to the ancient greeks that traditionally wasn't seen as 'gay' or feminine, no. A top is dominant, therefore more masculine. A bottom is submissive, therefore feminine.
Still a thing to this day.
I'll be honest, I'm glad I'm older, and less worried about that kind of shit and can just be me.
I think the roman had it a bit different : the minion or whore would be active while the guy was laying down. They even had suspended ropes or poles so the sex slave could use it to properly do its job.
I don't remember what was bad for them, except for big penis being very shameful because too beasty.
I find roman and Greek very funny, because although they were extremely misogynistic, they had it all reversed compared to us. :D
I did very well when I visited Mexico for this reason. The amount of dudes just totally cool with topping was excessive. Guys who are, by their own cultural standards, completely straight hanging out of grindr. It was a glorious week.
It was stupid hot. Lol. Also, apparently in the US I'm a disgusting fat fuck, whereas in Mexico, I'm whatever the Spanish word for thicc is, and have an ass worth pursuing. Lol.
I refuse to use an umbrella myself, but mostly because I find them impractical and unnecessary. My skin and my earbuds are waterproof, plus where I live it usually rains sideways.
I feel you. I find them more of a hassle than anything. I could go on for a bit on why they're annoying and you're better off using another method to stay dry. None of them are "don't use an umbrella because that's gay" though as I'm not an emotionally immature middle school boy that doesn't get enough attention at home.
To each their own. My jacket does not have a hood good enough to protect me, it sometimes falls off my head, doesn't protect my nose etc. So I prefer an umbrella.
::: spoiler spoiler
On a side note, I can also hang out with another person under it. But that would make me pretty gay, of course.
:::
Sitting in the middle seat of a work truck can get a little gay if you're driving a manual and need to shift into 2nd or 4th. Joking aside, I would probably use any excuse not to sit there because it's incredibly uncomfortable to straddle the transmission hump.
That is so bizarre. Cooking and cleaning aren’t women’s responsibilities, they are adult responsibilities.
What separates things out is the degree of implementation.
A reasonable man will slap together a simple and hearty yet healthy meal with 2-3 separate items on a plate. A lot of women will jack that shit up to 11 and make it a 3-course meal.
A reasonable man will clean until things are clean to the needs of the situation. If it’s a plate, it’s until it is clean enough to safely eat off of. If it’s a barn floor, clearly those standards are a lot lower; be happy if you see a broom come out. A lot of women will insist on surgical-room cleanliness regardless of the location.
A man should never have any reluctance to cooking and cleaning. It’s called basic adulting. What we need to watch out for is to align our efforts to the needs and conditions of the situation. We men are here to be practical.
Folks, we are witnessing toxic masculinity live in this thread, look at the way this toxic male masterfully injects his internalized misogyny into a comment that sounds reasonable at first but quickly devolves into more gender stereotypes, portrayals of woman as unreasonable, impractical, and irrational. Look at how he tacitly emasculates any man who likes to cook for the joy of cooking or clean things beyond a bare minimum. What a rare opportunity to witness the toxic male engaging in such iconic behavior, while unaware of it's surroundings.
The most absurd thing I've seen a man refuse to do because of toxic masculinity is just scroll past an innocuous comment without replying a bunch of misogynistic bullshit.
Why TF would I have any say in that? I’m a man, not a woman. I just observe how they behave and act, and take note of common trends and broad patterns.
Since you're specifying that men are here to be practical, you're saying that woman are not practical
You are hitting a surprisingly large number of logical fallacies with that statement. Nowhere did I say anything to that, I strongly suggest checking your own biases for that source.
Do you see why that's a toxic attitude to have?
Of course that’s a toxicity that has been externally imposed on men. Chris Rock was absolutely correct with his quote - a man who isn’t providing something of value is seen as useless. So in order to avoid going down “unproductive” paths that provide no value or utility to our betters, men have to always be providing value; to not waste time and energy on things that aren’t useful.
You see this everywhere in Nature, where males provide value through demonstrations of genetic fitness via gaudy displays that require effort and internal resources to pull off. Without those displays of fitness, they have absolutely no value and the females utterly ignore them.
No, he actually believes that men can be "reasonable" and "practical" as opposed to women, who typically do not "align [their] efforts to the needs and conditions of the situation."
Don't you think that this "men are here to be practical" theory has some gaps? Like there are plenty of men who do the things that you describe as unnecessary
What if you just likes cooking or fancy meals?
What if your cleanliness standards are just higher?
I'm not saying that barns should be sweeped or that everyone should cook fancy meals. But to say that people who do do that are (as you seem to be implying) overdoing it, or impractical is a bit unfair I think. I am also quite practical but still respect that others have higher standards or just "want things their way" which should be at least a little relatable to everyone.
cause being clean was for women and (insert homophobic slur here)
He only "cleans" himself like twice a year, and even then under protest and not fully, because the doctor told him he wont be let in the building if he came in dirty and smelling like BO and shit anymore.. and that cleaning is basically a 5 minute shower where he rubs a cloth under his arm pits.
I think it's important to call most of these stories what they are. They're not toxic masculinity, they're homophobia, in the most literal sense of the word.
My friend moved early this year to a new apartment and we gave him a very easy to care plant and some decor
When we visited him again about a month later he told us he didn't put the decor because it's gay (as in gay to decor, not the specific stuff we gave him) and the plant was dead because he put it in a closet because he brought in a woman and she could think he was gay so he hid it 👍
Edit: fixed lots of mistakes lol, don't write a comment before drinking coffee
Walking around a rainbow cross walk . Also just not using a cross walk in general and taking more time trying to cross the road at a random location than just walking slightly down the road to cross the street even though that's the direction they where walking in the first place .
You should not have to backtrack nearly ten minutes to get to a crosswalk. That's just terrible urban design.
Also I don't know where you are, but in many US States every intersection is a legal crosswalk unless signed otherwise. It just may not be a marked crosswalk.
No no I just straight up skipped the intended crosswalk and went down a long stretch of road where practically no one even lives, to the cross for a bus stop.
The crosswalk is actually perfectly placed (I'm in Germany btw, we call em zebra stripes) and I'm just too idiotic and think only of switching sides once I'm way deep down the road.
So is there not a crosswalk at the bus stop itself? I'm struggling to imagine a bus stop in the middle of literally nothing: there has to be some destination for them to have a stop there, right? If there's a destination, there should be a crosswalk so you can get to and from the bus regardless of which direction you're going or coming from. Otherwise what you have is one-way transportation.
This one's specific one but I've seen guys permantly fuck up their feet by wearing cheap, thin-soled boots everyday or stand in jeans and a hoodie in -20° F for hours because buying good, quality clothes is seen as feminine.
Refusing to wear a sweater, jacket, hat, or gloves when it's bitterly cold out. They claimed that "real men endure the cold" and tried to say that wearing warm clothes to stay warm makes you "Womanly".
Nothing more manly than hypothermia and frostbite am I right guys? /s
Wear a covid mask. Sounds simple, but the issue was everywhere. You could say it was history's most destructive example of toxic masculinity, especially when the protests kicked off and people were (and still do) denying any damage had been occurring due to that.
I made a big deal when it happened because I for one hate dress codes, yet dress codes were and still are somehow fine and something you're not allowed to argue against, all the while something that was actually practical as well as small was like peoples' kryptonite, so I remain in a lowkey boycott over dress codes if the business was apathetic to antiviral measures.
For a lot of people it seemed that way. Seeing a protest of Canadian truck drivers who didn't want to wear the "face diapers" made it seem like they were acting on an outright masculine honor culture. It's something that softened my previous view that Canada was living under an unlucky streak of bad authority. Now I look at them and think "well no wonder".
One time I heard a guy say he wasn't gonna push a shopping cart cause it was "f***y". Never understood that. He looked like a real doofus pulling it by the front.
Right, but there is a difference between me being a lazy antisocial person who hates talking on the phone to make an appointment, and being afraid to make an appointment because I'm worried I might like the feeling of something long and firm going in my ass.
Saw a group of 14 year-old boys refuse to admit that it's harder to hold a pool cue out from your body if you hold it at one end than if you hold it in the middle (simple demonstration of leverage).
I used to know a man who was huge fan of Queen but also massively homophobic. When I called him out on it, “Um, Freddie was very gay”, he quickly replied, “Oh, that’s different”. 🤔
Someone couldn't ever admit that he was wrong to a woman, particularly not to a girl.
So I said, 'why did you buy the American sliced cheese, you hate all of the additives?' and he refused to believe that there were additives. I litterally pulled out the American cheese and read the ingredients list out, then compared it to our usual cheddar, which just listed milk, but he refused to admit that a teenage girl knew more than him.
Not sure if this counts, but one guy I knew would boast about how he never drinks water. It was a matter of pride for him that he only drank soda. I know he was lying because I'd seen him drink water, but better not tell him that.
I don't mind a little rain, especially when I have my rain jacket on. Sometimes I find carrying an umbrella around cumbersome. If it's really pouring, I have several umbrellas of various sizes, but more often than not I'll just go without.
If you are also in the rain, I don't want to deprive you of the umbrella you cared to bring.
If I'm taking the umbrella with me, that's an implied obligation to return the umbrella in good condition, something I don't trust myself to remember to do. I'd rather be a little wet than create that social contract I'm probably going to fuck up somehow and foster animosity.
If you're offering to share the umbrella, there's an implied intimacy there. I'm happily married, and we are secure in our relationship that neither feels threatened that the other would cheat, but I still don't want to give someone else the wrong impression. I have friends I'll happily share an umbrella with, but there's a much larger number of people who might offer and I'll decline. Like another parent at a kid's sporting event. Someone who's name I ought to know, but can't remember, and I've met the other parent, but I don't know what their deal is. Someone who goes in for the hug, but has never seen the inside of my car. Are they just super friendly, or are they angling for more? I'm fairly oblivious to the "signals" as my wife will attest, and I've been accused in the past of leading people on, so I'm a little gunshy.
So if that's being interpreted as toxic masculinity, I think I'd rather people believe that about me than have to politely decline another indecent proposal from someone I'm going to have to see at every PTO meeting.
Hahaha, I was in my car once, in a parking lot, and I saw this white-oakley-wearing baloon animal due running to his jacked up truck with his shoulders all hunched because it started raining. No one else was doing that LOL
I don't mind a little rain, especially when I have my rain jacket on. Sometimes I find carrying an umbrella around cumbersome. If it's really pouring, I have several umbrellas of various sizes, but more often than not I'll just go without.
If you are also in the rain, I don't want to deprive you of the umbrella you cared to bring.
If I'm taking the umbrella with me, that's an implied obligation to return the umbrella in good condition, something I don't trust myself to remember to do. I'd rather be a little wet than create that social contract I'm probably going to fuck up somehow and foster animosity.
If you're offering to share the umbrella, there's an implied intimacy there. I'm happily married, and we are secure in our relationship that neither feels threatened that the other would cheat, but I still don't want to give someone else the wrong impression. I have friends I'll happily share an umbrella with, but there's a much larger number of people who might offer and I'll decline. Like another parent at a kid's sporting event. Someone who's name I ought to know, but can't remember, and I've met the other parent, but I don't know what their deal is. Someone who goes in for the hug, but has never seen the inside of my car. Are they just super friendly, or are they angling for more? I'm fairly oblivious to the "signals" as my wife will attest, and I've been accused in the past of leading people on, so I'm a little gunshy.
So if that's being interpreted as toxic masculinity, I think I'd rather people believe that about me than have to politely decline another indecent proposal from someone I'm going to have to see at every PTO meeting.
That's so weird, because it's such a manly profession out in restaurants and the career version of it. But the second cooking happens at the home, now it's woman's work (to these toxic masculinity guys). So bizarre.
My father in law used to get on my case a lot about cooking. I love to cook. I spend a lot of time in the kitchen and have done it professionally. He wasn't nasty about it but he's an older fella (being that I'm 50) and he used to say "I just can't understand." He has been around good food his entire life made all around the world. I asked him to name one professional chef that was female aside from Julia Child. At the time there weren't many well known in that boys club yet. Then I explained.that my workshop ( a big thing in his life) was the kitchen. Gadgets, fire and sharp things that can lop off fingers everywhere you look. It took him a long time to accept it but he worked it out.
I know some people that never wipe their ass because that's a gay thing. Well if being hetero means have a dirty ass and smell like shit, I think I rather be gay then.
When I was a teen I had a friend that wouldn't cross his legs because only women do it or something, but he was also too chicken to confront any adult that did it when we walked about.
I watched an extremely drunk dude kick his own ass at the nightclub because I accidentally touched his hand when reaching for my drink. He started drunkenly yelling at me that I was some kind of homo for wanting to touch him. I told him it was an accident, and walked outside to have a cigarette. He followed me outside and tried to fight me. But, he was so drunk that I saw his punch coming a mile away and just stepped back a couple of inches. The momentum from his punch carried him all the way around in a circle and then he fell forward and smacked his head on a brick planter. The sound was awful. He knocked himself out cold, and blood was everywhere. I just went back inside while the bouncers tried to wake him up, and I never saw him again.
Guys who refuse to wash their arse because it’s “gay”.
The sheer amount of self-hatred, insecurity and homophobia caused by toxic masculinity and shitty upbringings is astounding that you’d rather have swamp ass than be worried you’re gay.
Not saying it doesn't happen but I've seen this said a few times now, and have never heard of anyone who actually refuses to clean their arse. Have I just lived a sheltered life or what?
The internet can amplify incredibly marginal phenomenons. Like, how many incels can there possibly be? Yet you hear about them all the time
Enough incels that the gov makes reports about them:
https://www.secretservice.gov/sites/default/files/reports/2022-03/NTAC%20Case%20Study%20-%20Hot%20Yoga%20Tallahassee.pdf
You actually have this conversation with people regularly?
It's a great ice breaker
Also good at the end of a job interview, and they ask if you've any questions.
Proof homophobes are full of shit.
Have you actually seen this? Like, do you have a first hand account?
I did. I was talking to some guys and somehow my bidet came up and everyone found it pretty amusing and "gay". I said something like: well imagine you accidentally touch dogshit or something and then wipe it off with a piece of paper and go: well that's good enough until my next shower.
One guy said: what do you mean, next shower? And i said, that's your next opportunity to clean your ass with water and soap. Where everyone seems to agree that was also for gays.
It's extra funny to me that in a previous conversation one of the guys said his girlfriend hates giving head. I wonder why mr. Poopy butthole.
If you search for “boyfriend refuses to wash ass reddit” on Google there are plenty of stories for you to eat your dinner over.
Well it must be true if it's on reddit.
lol actually just look. Literally tens-hundreds of stories. It’s not a global conspiracy or group false memory. I get the Reddit hate but that’s just silly.
Edit: some of you struggle. Y’all understand that I can lie about a personal experience much more easily than I could lie about the combined hundreds of experiences of mutually individual people on the internet. How is it that until I’ve personally experienced it it must be false? Real cream of the crop with you lot.
"I question this comment, do you have any actual expirence"?
You: "sure, just look at all these other comments over there".
This is indeed very silly, but not because of reddit being involved.
I sincerely apologize for providing evidence of my claim that some men don’t wash their ass. I’ll remember for next time that I specifically have to know men that don’t wash their ass for my claim to have any validity, or else theKalash will not believe me.
Uff ...
This really speaks volumns about what social media has done to the mind of some people.
You really don't see the problem when being asked for "acutal exprience" and someone unironically points to a comment on the internet? That's literally the opposite of actual exprience.
If I wanted to read reddit, I wouldn't be on kbin. And I was asking if they, specifically, had a first hand account.
How does this even come up in conversation, like what's the context? Do they not wipe either?
It’s usually partners complaining that they stink because they don’t wash themselves properly.
Some guys openly just admit it because they just don’t realise that it’s not normal. So fearful that they won’t put their hand anywhere near their own ass.
I sleep naked. My sheets would be so very rank.
Sounds like he enjoyed the way it felt and that scared him.
An ex of mine refused to wipe and would shower after every poop, claiming tp was ineffective, BUT WOULD ALSO refuse to purchase a bidet; the toxic masculinity here was thinking he was outsmarting us all while also contaminating every shower he had ever used
Washing your ass isn't contaminating the shower, that's almost as bizarre as thinking using tp makes you gay.
Washing your ass under the shower doesn't "contaminate" it. Sure, use toilet paper first, then go wash yourself. But you would be surprised how much shit (literally) is in the air. It's everywhere, even on your toothbrush.
Refusing to use nail polish remover to clean off permanent marker because that's "for women". It's acetone, my dude, acetone.
All solvents are gay. That includes water, the gayest of solvents.
This makes sense, every gay person I've met drank water.
It's like my science used to say in grade school, "100% of people who consume dihydrogen monoxide end up dead".
Water has quite a few side effects, the evidence is clear!
Just like how 100% of people that conflate correlation & causation die.
I mean it was sarcasm
Phrasing is wrong. You have consumed water and are alive.
The correct phrasing could be something like "100% of people who died have consumed dihydrogen monoxide at some point in their lives".
Bold assumption! Jokes aside, perhaps that was the phrasing that he used. Unfortunately it's been quite a while since I was in grade school.
Water, the universally gay, solvent.
If only it could dissolve the gay away.
The H in H2O stands for homosexual, it’s true, look it up.
Meanwhile I buy my wife nail polish that just happens to be the same color as something I need to touch-up or paint.
"metallic grey...gee...thanks?"
I have at least 2 dozen metallic grey nail polishes lol... I'd be stoked to get another!
I don't even know what that means... Like you got a sharpie mark on you? Permanent marker on a white board? What scenario is that lol
Real men use isopropyl alcohol.
I only use carb cleaner!^(1) /s
1 also acetone
Tell his wife that he loved her, because love is "gay" and "feminine"
Firstly, audibly expressing your heterosexuality isn't gay.
Secondly, there is nothing feminine about 2 guys loving each other, they are both guys so it's the most masculine sexual/romantic pairing.
Lmao literally "fellas, is it gay to love a woman?"
Yeah, working in a factory was full of the bullshit like this, but this was the weirdest example. Things that boiled down to "No, I can wear less protective equipment than you!" were very common.
Even if you take the "gay argument" out of things, why would you let a group of 4 divorced guys give you relationship advice?
Obligatory Steve Hughes bit
https://youtu.be/6xxiK6Z4eXs
Just in case you haven't noticed yet, youtube has started putting trackers on their links when you copy them. You can delete the question mark and the si= string and the link works without the tracker
https://youtu.be/6xxiK6Z4eXs
Thank you, I did not notice, i will edit the original comment if i can
I'm so glad someone linked it as it's the first thing I thought of
Hehhe It’s so great
Hella gay. You need to engage in naked Greco Roman wrestling with another man to wash that gay off.
To be fair, having sex with women is pretty gay. They're girly, weak and smell nice.
Nothing more masculine than two smelly men fucking each other in the arse. Dominating this guy who's just as strong if not stronger than you, then enduring the pain of Big Jim's rod penetrating you, because you're a manly man who's made of tougher stuff.
Fucking women is gay because women like men and liking men is gay
Fellas, is it gay to use lube for anal?
You're not a true man until you sand it up.
Probably still less painful than figging.
Ugh. Off to Urban Dictionary I go.
Edit: Inserting peeled ginger into the anus. Ok, I'd heard of this with horses, it's even mentioned in one of Sir Terry Pratchett's books. Id not heard of people doing it to themselves or each other but I'm not surprised."
Real super straight hetero male masc men use blood (but no tears as crying is gay) as lube when fucking bros.
Not if it's 5W30 Valvoline.
Sarah Silverman had a bit about how heterosexual love is... Kinda gay, by toxic masculinity standards.
You know what they say: There is nothing more manly than gay sex.
https://piped.video/watch?v=CjGolrmbk9s&t=5
I've been to Gay pride parades, gay bars and gay clubs. The gayest experience I've had in my life was working in the trades with straight men doing everything they can to prove their masculinity at all costs.
These men will use women as mere possessive objects in order to prove to their masculinity towards other men. By oversexualizing all women while at the same time belittling all that their partner does. As if women were merely currency for respect among men.
They hated gays and trans people so much that they would spend an extremely uncomfortable amount of time telling you how much they were "disgusted" by these people.
They hated on any man who who did not possess physical masculine traits. Those traits that they hated? Not being muscular. Not being tall. Not being fat (what???). Having longer hair.
But the gayest thing these guys refused to do was stand up for themselves against unjust authority. They would spend the most all their free time explicitly telling you how much they hate their boss. How stupid their boss is. How much of an asshole their boss is. How they would kick their bosses ass. Just talk an absolute big game.
Then the boss would come around the corner and you'd never see a bunch of grown ass men tuck their dicks between their legs faster than these guys. Their voices raise up a couple pitches and suddenly they are acting as subservient as how they believe their wives should be.
It's in this unspoken idea of respect for Men in Authority that you see the "gayest" trait in these toxic men. But not in a good gay way. A toxic gay trait that comes from a deep place built on oppression and repression of ones self. Where respect from your fellow man at all costs is the most valuable thing they crave. Where respect from your boss holds even higher value. Where respect from men in higher positions is held at even higher value.
All they care about is to be noticed by other men. That's kinda gay dude.
The cost of all this effort to gain respect from exclusively other men is their dignity. And they are more than willing to give up their dignity to be noticed by men in positions of authority.
To these guys, questioning or standing up to authority is gay. Standing up for yourself is gay. Demanding to be treated with dignity is gay. They will be the first ones to kick you down for disrespecting authority.
I've walked into a club bathroom and saw two guys giving another guy a blowjob. That's still not as gay as watching "straight" acting men grovel at the feet of boss in any trades.
Ick...
Ugh. Very relateable.
To give you an idea, I'm 2m/6ft6, do weight lifting and I'm not particularly worried about the size of my dick. I may be insecure about many things, but not about my manliness.
Anyway, these kind of insecure men always try to out macho me. It's so fucking tiring. I'm basically straight (never say never), but I like stuff these kinds of men often find gay, because I'm not an anti-intellectual moron who has the maturity of a 12 year old boy or cares too much about what other people think. It's like they want to whip out their dicks and measure each other all the time. What kind of manchild cares so much about what other people think, that they can't listen to classical music, dress nicely, or read a book? As you say, these men are too weak to have opinions of their own or stand-up to authority.
They're so deeply insecure, it's fucking sad. Pathetic even. Not that I feel much sympathy for them, especially the older ones who've had time to mature, because they inevitably cause you grief. They're at best annoying, but can be outright dangerous. The whole machismo, kiss the boot, contempt for the weak thing is a toxic cocktail. No surprise who they vote for either, always love to suck the dick of a strong leader who tells them they're better than someone else.
You know those Harvard implicit association tests? They have one for racism, but they also have one for homophobia. Certainly not without their flaws, but I took one. Turns out I have a bias against straight people. No mystery how that happened, given so many men are toxic.
Holy shit yes, this whole thing right here.
The trade fields are absolutely insanely full of men telling each other how manly they are and how not gay they are with the "notice me" mode that it's kinda 'dude... if you want guys to hit on you... you're going about it all wrong.'
That reminds me of this Ron White joke
Sounds like a great bunch(!)
Not sure how it relates to "gayness" though.
Don’t forget anything longer than a military buzzcut. Gayyyyyyy
Kudos for being able to say what you did, while using gay as a "derogatory" word, and not fucking it up in a way that would lead an uncharitable interpretation of what you said.
That being said, I absolutely agree with you, and the most homophobic shit I've ever heard came from guys who were so insecure about their sexuality, in a way that signalled to virtually everyone who was secure, that there was something about themselves they didn't want to accept.
Had an absolute asshole of a Lieutenant over my platoon while deployed to Iraq. We get there and they're issuing out bed linens. We're all thrilled because we're getting actual beds and not cots. This motherfucker refuses the linens because "they have flowers on them", then proceeds to demand a cot for himself. He slept in the cot in his sleeping bag instead.
He was also Mormon, attempted to proselytize every second he got, and proudly declared his virginity (he was in his late 20s at the time) when NO ONE ASKED to hear about that shit.
The Aztecs, that would cut hearts out of people and fought with clubs edged with razor sharp rocks, worshipped a flower god (Xōchipilli) and a hummingbird god (Huītzilōpōchtli), those pansies.
I’m going to be honest here - being surrounded by hummingbirds is terrifying. Not only does the buzzing and needle beaks make you think of the mosquitos in jumanji, but they also teleport from place to place while hovering.
Wait, what do you mean by a cot? In my British English a cot is what babies sleep in and has tall bars on the sides to stop them falling out. I'm guessing this isn't the same.
My bad, I didn't realize it was called by another name elsewhere. It looks just like this [USGI Military Folding Cot https://a.co/d/c0K3vCF](USGI Military Folding Cot https://a.co/d/c0K3vCF)
What do they call those where you're from?
To be fair, that LT would feel right at home in what you're describing (we call that a "crib" in the US), he was such an ignorant ass.
In the UK a crib is a smaller cot for newborns. And what you call a cot looks like a stretcher with trampoline legs, I haven't ever seen one of these to hear what Brits call them.
I think that's called a camp bed.
So really, it presents as gayer than a regular bed and the whole endeavour was counterproductive.
Surely there is a name for it in Brittain since their soldiers probably use something similar.
Probably, but I'm not/don't interact often with soldiers, so I don't know
I guess what’s called a ‘crib’ in the UK is what we’d call a ‘bassinet’ in the US?
Sometimes called a "camp bed" but I've heard cot in the US
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Camp_bed
it's like a glorified stretcher
Besides physical violence, the most absurd thing I've seen was a man who bought a car after his wife pleaded not to because it would bankrupt them. He didn't like that she was "telling him what to do." They had two perfectly fine vehicles btw.
Bankruptcy is so alpha male
Was an old car salesman tactic to basically tell guys they weren't man enough to risk something they could barely afford.
I heard a motorcycle salesman tell a customer to call his wife and ask if he could have his balls back for a couple of hours so he'd be able to make a decision on his own.
Yep, that's what I'm talking about.
So funny how poorly this would go for me. I'd just tell the guy he's being a dingus and go to a neighboring town's dealer in hopes of finding someone less douchey.
Salesmen are pretty good at judging what works with which people. It's still really douchey and manipulative though.
My last car purchase involved something like this but without the misogyny. I knew exactly what I wanted, for how much, and had my own external financing. The dude loudly sighed on the test drive multiple times after trying to build a rapport unsuccessfully. I was perfectly courteous to him, but I wasn't giving in to his sales pitch one inch.
Sorry guy, I view you as the cashier at Walmart and not my buddy who's gonna get me a killer deal on undercoating.
Still is. Attach emotion to a sales pitch and if the buyer is dumb enough to play into it, you'll sell every time.
One word.
ThunderCougarFalconBird
"Oh you want to talk to your wife before making the second largest purchase of your life? Who wears the pants in your relationship?"
Weird, I know a couple who did exactly this about 13 months ago. They're divorced now. Unfortunately they spawned a child who will now have to deal with two parents who hate each other and can't stop fighting in front of them at every meeting.
All from some kind of weird macho trip fuelled by insecurity.
That's how the salesman guy got Homer to buy the Mister Plow truck lol
The dangers of telling your man what to do!
I just had a concrete floor cut for plumbing, and neither of the guys wore a mask or respirator which is insanely unhealthy. I have a feeling it was "not manly".
Which makes that quite literal Toxic Masculinity.
I worked one summer at the same factory as my dad. One day I was operating a cutting machine and my dad came by because I wasn't wearing any safety equipment. He suggested (not told) to wear the gear but I refused because no one else uses it. He said thats fine, it's my choice but he suggested I walk around the factory floor and count how many workers had all their fingers. I put on the safety equipment. Later on while having lunch with the two other guys in our area I noticed both were missing fingers.
I worked for less than a week at a cedar shake and shingles mill: it takes trees and cuts them into fat shingles.
I was promoted when the guy above me put the pneumatic splitter through his hand.
The guy above my new position near-missed with a band saw: it bit into his arm but only about a millimeter.
On day three a cut saw operator lost the last joint of three fingers.
I told the foreman I was leaving. He nodded in understanding.
I actually, um...may not have any of the guards on my table saw for months now.
How many fingers have you lost in that time?
I've never had any major injuries.
If you're careful you may never need the protection a seat belt provides. It's still foolish and risky to go without it. Table saw guards, etc. are the same.
Yeah absolutely. It has to come off occasionally because some things just won't fit with the guards. But leaving it off is stupid.
You do use a riving knife still though...right?
Yep, that's still on there. No reason to remove that.
At what point would a smack to the head be warranted to prevent harm?
You dad did the right thing, but dang. I suggest you don’t make dance tik toks next to this active tree size buzz saw.
"Why are you in palliative?"
"Silicosis."
"Brah, that is so fkn chad!"
Well Chad is like the second worst men's name, so checks out.
It's up there with Kyle
And Todd.
Ugh and Doug.
Shame, one of my favourite workplace proximity associates is called Kyle.
People I used to work with refused to wear gloves and eye protection when handling fuel because "that's gay".
They all have alligator hands now.
I did not know fuel is bad for your hands. Though I only really might touch it while filling ny car up.
I don't imagine you have to worry about it. It's more of am issue for them because it was frequent excessive lengthy exposures. It wasn't helped by the fact that they didn't wash their hands a lot.
Occasional exposure isn't going to do much. Some people even use kerosene (diesel) can be used to wash some things off your hands. But you want to avoid it when possible.
Another reason I hate the EPA "safety" gas can nozzles. Because I've never felt more safe than when I'm covered in gasoline.
Generally, I'm all for things that limit emissions and improve safety. I always thought they were a PITA, but couldn't really be that much worse than the ones I see people use at the track usually.
I finally picked one up because it was all they had at the store, and holy shit those "safety tanks" are a nightmare by comparison. They spill so much fuel and after only a couple of years the seals on mine have gone bad and leak even more. I still would like to add a flame arrestor into the necks, but it amazes me at how awful they are.
I wholly understand why they exist and what all the safety features are for (preventing fuel from spilling if they're tipped/dropped, releasing fuel vapors, etc) but they seem utterly useless when I inevitably spill at least half a cup of fuel per 5 gal, just due to how poorly they're made.
Fuels are mostly hydrocarbons and those are hydrophobic and lipophilic. i.e they dissolve greasy/fatty things and your skin contains oils (which the fuel dissolves and thus strips out) and your cells are basically bags of water where the bag part (cell membrane) is made up of phospholipids (basically a type of fat) so that gets degraded too. None of that is good for your skin.
Ah, makes sense. Thanks.
Alligator hands? Is that some condition?
It's just a way of referring to their dry cracking skin that almost looks like scales
Theyre not going to feel very manly after the silicosis kicks in
they'll walk it off
/s
These are typically the big right wingers who later in life live in a constant state of rage because they're crippled or disabled and blame the government or immigrants for the fact that they live on a $1200/mo disability check, can't work, and have nothing to their name. At least that's my personal experience.
The worst I have heard was when my husband's old boss was proudly bragging about how he didn't even leave work to be with his wife while she was giving birth to their first child.
He honestly believed that was something to be proud of.
We live in Australia too, so it's not like he had American orphan crushing machine to blame. He was just a horrible piece of shit.
When I was 18 and my buddy was 17, we went to the beach. He wouldn't let me put sunscreen on his back because that would make him gay. What if a woman saw?
He ended up with a severly blistered back, horrible, serious burns.
Me, I went up to the cute girls and just said excuse me hehehe.... I can't reach my own back.
He was also too chickenshit to do that.
The most obvious one I have experience with is guys refusing to wear a helmet while riding a motorcycle because they're so tuff and manly and they "just won't crash".
I wear a helmet because it will protect my beautiful face if I fall off, and because it keeps bugs and birds from hitting the aforementioned rugged bearded handsomeness at high speeds thus preventing some accidents, and because I can have one with a cool design on it.
This is my 4-year old's logic.
Me: Come down from there! You need a helmet if you want to climb that high on the snow pile/rock/whatever!
Him: But I am not falling! Look!
Me: 🤦♂️ No, not yet, but you might!
Him: But I'm not!
🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤌🤌
Not just motorcycles in my case but literally any child or adult I've ever seen ride a bike or use a skateboard in my entire life while strolling through town. Not a single civilian wears a helmet these days. I see preteens rolling and doing tricks on their skateboards like they're living out some early 2000's Tony Hawk game for the Playstation. A few people even hook their strollers up to their bikes and wear nothing.
One time cops had to be called in because some vengeful people who probably would've otherwise been shooters were using the opportunity to trip riders as they rode. Did it change anything? Nope, they still wore nothing and still made themselves vulnerable to the same thing if anyone would ever want to do it again. Cops never enforced what is actually a helmet/pad mandate and I guess it's not a CPS concern either, which stands out given their history.
Only a couple of friends of mine serve as an exception to the observation. One day some peers asked "why are you wearing a helmet and pads, you know, like little girls" and I'll never forget how they responded with "why are you wearing nothing, you know, like poor people?"
Tbf that's not toxic masculinity usually, just stupidity. It's the same shit for men and women a like, and some idiots even teach their spawns to ride without one. But I guess you only buy helmet for the kids you want to keep...
If something I've learned from 15 years of bmx and MTB, is that there's no such a ride that doesn't warrant using a helmet; was it visiting shop, picking kid from daycare or a day ride
I disagree I would say most kids/teen's refusing to wear helmets for cycling and skating are doing it because they think it's uncool, why is it uncool? Because it makes you look less tough afraid of falling, definitely toxic masculinity.
Head injuries, accidental bad falls can ruin your life.
I'd call it toxic masculinity if it was primarily a male problem. In skateparks sure it is, but when you look at the streets people commuting, a helmet is a rare sight and it's almost even more common to see a guy with helmet than a woman.
It's similar to toxic masculinity, but I'd rather call it hivemindlessness lol
Toxic masculinity is not a solely male problem, it's a set of behaviors that's harmful or potentially harmful to either the person itself or people around them that is perceived as normal masculine behavior.
Those are the same things, Toxic masculinity is literally the product of the hivemind, the idea that you are a wuss if you protect your brain and wear a helmet isn't something that you are born with.
Yes, it is the same thing except the "masculinity" part. The "feminine" counterpart is toxic femininity.
We're talking about a problem that's not specific to either of those
If your risk calculations exclude every other person on the streets, sure I can understand why skipping helmet in order to preserve cool factor and hairstyle seems reasonable.
If you count in the fact that any idiot might just hit you down with their car after mixing pedals or some kid run in front of you, it's just obvious to wear a helmet unless if you're an idiot.
Using a helmet is basically comparable to a seat belt. Zero effort really, just a habit you're supposed to learn from childhood and automatic ever since.
How would you call a person refusing to use seatbelt other than a idiot?
Yes exiting your house is also a huge risk, and statistically staying home is even bigger risk. Better just lock yourself to a soft room in an institute or commit unalive. /s
You clearly seem unable to understand what a stupid risk is. You're ignorant to the point you'd take a risk with zero possibility for a positive outcome, just for your fragile ego. Just like the rednecks too cool to wear a seatbelt or a construction worker at hights without harness.
I'd call it fair if it was for the thrill, that's cool and we all have done and are doing stupid dangerous things for it. That's maybe not always smart, but it's what keeps us alive. That's what we're talking about when we think of calculated risks. If I hit this trail, there's a chance I'll hit a tree if I make a mistake. Or I'll grind that rock garden with my face. I'm well aware of those risks.
Stupidity is to imagine those risks don't exist or let your ego ignore them because "I'm so fucking tough" or "I don't want to mess my haircut and I'm not gonna fall anyways I'm not a kid"
TIL there's a proper way to be a douchebag.
I never implied that, I just didn't know what you meant by a "proper" douchebag. Excuse me for having non-native-English skills.
Yep that's the dumbest thing. I've gone through clouds of bugs that hurt my chest when I wasn't wearing my armored jacket, and I knew they would have felt worse on my face by far, but I never felt them since I never ride without the helmet.
Even disregarding the obvious safety need, wearing a helmet improves the rider's comfort by blocking bugs and debris. Maybe they think it's manly to have bugs in your teeth and nostrils?
I've never ridden a motorcycle, but I have had a bug (and part of its web) go into my mouth and down my throat while biking. Just thinking about it makes me want to gag. If, after that, you offered me a bike helmet with a front visor, I'd have put that thing on ASAP.
Now take that bug incident and make it happen at 30-50 mph? No way would I have my face hole exposed for bugs to invade! (And that's totally apart from the safety issue.)
I wear a full face helmet because holy shit I know one saved my face. But even if the helmet wasn't a separator from potential meat crayon situation, I'd still wear it for this reason right here. Seriously, I've had some beetles hit my helmet so hard it made me recoil, I can't imagine taking one straight to face like that.
Yikes, that painted a horrible mental picture. Stay safe out there y'all :/
I've had beetles on the forehead while road cycling. Even at 40km/h that seriously hurts. Wouldn't want it to happen at 100!
I tell anyone who asks that motorcycle helmets can prevent accidents. Your high delta-V beetle is the perfect example of why.
I can't see without a helmet when the wind picks up! Wife and I have bluetooth comms that make riding way more fun
Vega?
Street Fighter Red Tape: Vega
For me it's between refusing to use an umbrella because "it's gay" or refusing to sit in the middle seat of a work truck because of the same reason as the first.
TIL: being a top is NOT gay 🥳
You joke, but going back to the ancient greeks that traditionally wasn't seen as 'gay' or feminine, no. A top is dominant, therefore more masculine. A bottom is submissive, therefore feminine.
Still a thing to this day.
I'll be honest, I'm glad I'm older, and less worried about that kind of shit and can just be me.
I think the roman had it a bit different : the minion or whore would be active while the guy was laying down. They even had suspended ropes or poles so the sex slave could use it to properly do its job.
I don't remember what was bad for them, except for big penis being very shameful because too beasty.
I find roman and Greek very funny, because although they were extremely misogynistic, they had it all reversed compared to us. :D
Yeah, like they thought the Gauls were effeminate because Gaulish men... wore trousers and drank too much.
A good portion of Hispanics believe this. The gay one is the bottom one.
I did very well when I visited Mexico for this reason. The amount of dudes just totally cool with topping was excessive. Guys who are, by their own cultural standards, completely straight hanging out of grindr. It was a glorious week.
This is stupid hot — and a cross-cultural win–win
It was stupid hot. Lol. Also, apparently in the US I'm a disgusting fat fuck, whereas in Mexico, I'm whatever the Spanish word for thicc is, and have an ass worth pursuing. Lol.
Huh, like in ancient Rome. Nothing wrong with banging boys, but utterly shameful to be on the receiving end.
"Muh
anal penetrationgaysex is the only straightsexI’m alright with not holding an umbrella but I’d want a raincoat or something to keep me dry still.
But “fellas, is it gay to be dry?”
I refuse to use an umbrella myself, but mostly because I find them impractical and unnecessary. My skin and my earbuds are waterproof, plus where I live it usually rains sideways.
I feel you. I find them more of a hassle than anything. I could go on for a bit on why they're annoying and you're better off using another method to stay dry. None of them are "don't use an umbrella because that's gay" though as I'm not an emotionally immature middle school boy that doesn't get enough attention at home.
To each their own. My jacket does not have a hood good enough to protect me, it sometimes falls off my head, doesn't protect my nose etc. So I prefer an umbrella.
::: spoiler spoiler
On a side note, I can also hang out with another person under it. But that would make me pretty gay, of course.
:::
Tom Tucker: "How's the weather, Olly?"
Olly:"IT'S RAININ SIDEWAYS"
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DmTgpsvkqt8 obligatory Bill Burr.
Sitting in the middle seat of a work truck can get a little gay if you're driving a manual and need to shift into 2nd or 4th. Joking aside, I would probably use any excuse not to sit there because it's incredibly uncomfortable to straddle the transmission hump.
Once worked with a guy who refused to wash dishes, said that is a woman's responsibility. He only uses paper plates and plastic utensils.
I never asked him if he cooked but kind of figure it'd the be same answer LOL.
That is so bizarre. Cooking and cleaning aren’t women’s responsibilities, they are adult responsibilities.
What separates things out is the degree of implementation.
A reasonable man will slap together a simple and hearty yet healthy meal with 2-3 separate items on a plate. A lot of women will jack that shit up to 11 and make it a 3-course meal.
A reasonable man will clean until things are clean to the needs of the situation. If it’s a plate, it’s until it is clean enough to safely eat off of. If it’s a barn floor, clearly those standards are a lot lower; be happy if you see a broom come out. A lot of women will insist on surgical-room cleanliness regardless of the location.
A man should never have any reluctance to cooking and cleaning. It’s called basic adulting. What we need to watch out for is to align our efforts to the needs and conditions of the situation. We men are here to be practical.
Folks, we are witnessing toxic masculinity live in this thread, look at the way this toxic male masterfully injects his internalized misogyny into a comment that sounds reasonable at first but quickly devolves into more gender stereotypes, portrayals of woman as unreasonable, impractical, and irrational. Look at how he tacitly emasculates any man who likes to cook for the joy of cooking or clean things beyond a bare minimum. What a rare opportunity to witness the toxic male engaging in such iconic behavior, while unaware of it's surroundings.
Real c/SelfAwarewolves territory.
You sound like you worship Andrew Tate.
Probably got it from one of his courses.
That moron?
The most absurd thing I've seen a man refuse to do because of toxic masculinity is just scroll past an innocuous comment without replying a bunch of misogynistic bullshit.
You really should have stopped after the first paragraph it just devolved from there on.
Right?! I started to up vote, then I saw the current score, kept reading, and found out why
Ah, yes. Because real-world experience is just so passé.
Sorry for intruding into your ideology with facts and reality.
Oh god that's funny. What's my ideology then? I wasn't aware that basic human observation was ideology now.
I think the problem you have is the people you hang out with are awful if that's your world view based on observed reality.
Perhaps you should join a support group or something.
So as the non-toxic arbiter of facts and reality, what exactly are women here for?
Preganté
Why TF would I have any say in that? I’m a man, not a woman. I just observe how they behave and act, and take note of common trends and broad patterns.
Since you're specifying that men are here to be practical, you're saying that woman are not practical:
Do you see why that's a toxic attitude to have?
You are hitting a surprisingly large number of logical fallacies with that statement. Nowhere did I say anything to that, I strongly suggest checking your own biases for that source.
Of course that’s a toxicity that has been externally imposed on men. Chris Rock was absolutely correct with his quote - a man who isn’t providing something of value is seen as useless. So in order to avoid going down “unproductive” paths that provide no value or utility to our betters, men have to always be providing value; to not waste time and energy on things that aren’t useful.
You see this everywhere in Nature, where males provide value through demonstrations of genetic fitness via gaudy displays that require effort and internal resources to pull off. Without those displays of fitness, they have absolutely no value and the females utterly ignore them.
You are a fucking embarassment to all men.
This is parody, right?
No, he actually believes that men can be "reasonable" and "practical" as opposed to women, who typically do not "align [their] efforts to the needs and conditions of the situation."
Would have been a good answer if you stopped after word #13.
By my count it's word 14. After the first paragraph, anyway.
Oh yes, I'd contracted "That is" in my brain
Bruh
I think your point applies more to people rather than just men or women.
People have different standards for cleanliness.
I've come across men who are need-freaks and women who are slobs.
Don't you think that this "men are here to be practical" theory has some gaps? Like there are plenty of men who do the things that you describe as unnecessary
I'm not saying that barns should be sweeped or that everyone should cook fancy meals. But to say that people who do do that are (as you seem to be implying) overdoing it, or impractical is a bit unfair I think. I am also quite practical but still respect that others have higher standards or just "want things their way" which should be at least a little relatable to everyone.
Basic hygiene.
cause being clean was for women and (insert homophobic slur here)
He only "cleans" himself like twice a year, and even then under protest and not fully, because the doctor told him he wont be let in the building if he came in dirty and smelling like BO and shit anymore.. and that cleaning is basically a 5 minute shower where he rubs a cloth under his arm pits.
Knew a dude in high school that claimed he didn't masturbate because touching a dick, even his own, was gay.
We used to ask him how he aimed when he pissed.
I think it's important to call most of these stories what they are. They're not toxic masculinity, they're homophobia, in the most literal sense of the word.
Edited for clarity
My friend moved early this year to a new apartment and we gave him a very easy to care plant and some decor
When we visited him again about a month later he told us he didn't put the decor because it's gay (as in gay to decor, not the specific stuff we gave him) and the plant was dead because he put it in a closet because he brought in a woman and she could think he was gay so he hid it 👍
Edit: fixed lots of mistakes lol, don't write a comment before drinking coffee
Well, what if she mistakenly saw him as a dependable person who could provide care for the most basic of life forms?
That's fucking gay.
🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤌🤌
Apparently English is gay too
I'm willing to bet he writes English better than you write whatever his native language is.
Also most of my mistakes were due to the stupid keyboard lol (and because it was very early in the morning)
I noticed that my keyboard somehow performs worse on Lemmy
Walking around a rainbow cross walk . Also just not using a cross walk in general and taking more time trying to cross the road at a random location than just walking slightly down the road to cross the street even though that's the direction they where walking in the first place .
Fellas, are laws gay?
I'm the opposite... I forget the crosswalk exists, walk down the road 4 minutes, have to cross it and then as I wait I remember
"God damn it there was a crosswalk"
And IT HAPPENS EVERY TIME AGH
You should not have to backtrack nearly ten minutes to get to a crosswalk. That's just terrible urban design.
Also I don't know where you are, but in many US States every intersection is a legal crosswalk unless signed otherwise. It just may not be a marked crosswalk.
No no I just straight up skipped the intended crosswalk and went down a long stretch of road where practically no one even lives, to the cross for a bus stop.
The crosswalk is actually perfectly placed (I'm in Germany btw, we call em zebra stripes) and I'm just too idiotic and think only of switching sides once I'm way deep down the road.
So is there not a crosswalk at the bus stop itself? I'm struggling to imagine a bus stop in the middle of literally nothing: there has to be some destination for them to have a stop there, right? If there's a destination, there should be a crosswalk so you can get to and from the bus regardless of which direction you're going or coming from. Otherwise what you have is one-way transportation.
It could easily be in a residential or industrial area
what's a rainbow cross walk?
Some places paint their crosswalks in rainbow colors, which obviously makes you gay if you walk across them.
Exactly what it sounds like. A crosswalk painted in rainbow colours.
cool
See, for me, that's an aggressive anticar thing, not a masculinity thing.
This one's specific one but I've seen guys permantly fuck up their feet by wearing cheap, thin-soled boots everyday or stand in jeans and a hoodie in -20° F for hours because buying good, quality clothes is seen as feminine.
They wear thin-soled boots and improper warm weather gear because they feel they have something to prove.
I wear them because I'm poor.
We are not the same. smug look of superiority
And I underdress (slightly! not that extreme!) for the weather because I've got enough body fat that it's more comfortable that way
...... I'd be lying if I said it wasn't also that.
I can be fine in a t-shirt and shorts while my skinny friends are in sweaters and fuzzy socks.
how do thin-soled boots fuck up your feet?
If the ground is freezing cold they have little to no insulation
i do fine in thin-soled boots in -10°C, just use a wool insole and some socks.
Wearing boots isn't particularly feminine, is it?
Sounds more like plain old vanity.
Caring about your body apparently is though.
Refusing to wear a sweater, jacket, hat, or gloves when it's bitterly cold out. They claimed that "real men endure the cold" and tried to say that wearing warm clothes to stay warm makes you "Womanly".
Nothing more manly than hypothermia and frostbite am I right guys? /s
Wear a covid mask. Sounds simple, but the issue was everywhere. You could say it was history's most destructive example of toxic masculinity, especially when the protests kicked off and people were (and still do) denying any damage had been occurring due to that.
I made a big deal when it happened because I for one hate dress codes, yet dress codes were and still are somehow fine and something you're not allowed to argue against, all the while something that was actually practical as well as small was like peoples' kryptonite, so I remain in a lowkey boycott over dress codes if the business was apathetic to antiviral measures.
Is that really an example of toxic masculinity? A LOT of Karens shrieked about having to wear them.
It was the reason for some guys, for sure. The same crowd who refuse to wear safety glasses under any circumstances were pretty anti-mask.
For a lot of people it seemed that way. Seeing a protest of Canadian truck drivers who didn't want to wear the "face diapers" made it seem like they were acting on an outright masculine honor culture. It's something that softened my previous view that Canada was living under an unlucky streak of bad authority. Now I look at them and think "well no wonder".
One time I heard a guy say he wasn't gonna push a shopping cart cause it was "f***y". Never understood that. He looked like a real doofus pulling it by the front.
Being too ashamed to tell people I couldn't swim as a kid in situations that seriously could have ended in me drowning.
Wouldn't use a straw in their drink because he didn't like the idea of it passing through his lips.
Routine colonoscopy after hitting middle age
Tbh I think we all kinda suck at routine doctors appointments. Speaking as a woman
It just feels inconvenient to make time for it nowadays and it always gets delayed
Right, but there is a difference between me being a lazy antisocial person who hates talking on the phone to make an appointment, and being afraid to make an appointment because I'm worried I might like the feeling of something long and firm going in my ass.
no problem, if you're that worried about a routine colonoscopy turning you gay, congrats! you're definitely into cock!
Wait THAT'S why people neglect their appointments? I thought it was just laziness and neglect!
Can confirm, am someone who hates (gets anxiety thinking about) talking on the phone
I fear colonoscopies not because of toxic masculinity, but, because I don't think it would be very comfortable
Saw a group of 14 year-old boys refuse to admit that it's harder to hold a pool cue out from your body if you hold it at one end than if you hold it in the middle (simple demonstration of leverage).
Did you apply a counterforce to embarrass their egos?
I was too gobsmacked by how ridiculous they were being to think of another proof!
What does this have to do with masculinity?
They wouldn't admit they found one thing more difficult than another thing, in case it implied they were weak !
Pool cue looks like a giant cock.
Squints
I don't see it.
wut
Refusing to listen to "killer queen" because it was too gay.
No way this one is real lol
In fairness we were in high-school. So toxic masculinity was at its height.
Friend gave me the aux in his mustang. I still remember it because it was beyond idiotic of him.
Alright I can see a high schooler doing that lol
My brother refused to listen to Whip It by Devo because he thought it was gay.
He associated to that scene in the Simpsons with Smithers dancing along to it in chaps.
I used to know a man who was huge fan of Queen but also massively homophobic. When I called him out on it, “Um, Freddie was very gay”, he quickly replied, “Oh, that’s different”. 🤔
Someone couldn't ever admit that he was wrong to a woman, particularly not to a girl.
So I said, 'why did you buy the American sliced cheese, you hate all of the additives?' and he refused to believe that there were additives. I litterally pulled out the American cheese and read the ingredients list out, then compared it to our usual cheddar, which just listed milk, but he refused to admit that a teenage girl knew more than him.
My father once chose course of intravenous therapy over intramuscular injections because apparently exposing your butt to a nurse is not manly enough
Eating pussy.
Not sure if this counts, but one guy I knew would boast about how he never drinks water. It was a matter of pride for him that he only drank soda. I know he was lying because I'd seen him drink water, but better not tell him that.
Refusing an umbrella. Ok, be wet then.
Well somebody has to be wet, because their wife sure as hell aint.
Not gonna lie, I just hate dealing with umbrellas. They suck most of the time. I love my rain jacket though
same, maybe I'm just stupid or something, but I can never close them without getting water all over myself.
Thanks for the permission?
Wait, I have clarifying questions.
Were you also in the rain?
Were you offering the umbrella to take with me?
Were you offering to share the umbrella?
I don't mind a little rain, especially when I have my rain jacket on. Sometimes I find carrying an umbrella around cumbersome. If it's really pouring, I have several umbrellas of various sizes, but more often than not I'll just go without.
If you are also in the rain, I don't want to deprive you of the umbrella you cared to bring.
If I'm taking the umbrella with me, that's an implied obligation to return the umbrella in good condition, something I don't trust myself to remember to do. I'd rather be a little wet than create that social contract I'm probably going to fuck up somehow and foster animosity.
If you're offering to share the umbrella, there's an implied intimacy there. I'm happily married, and we are secure in our relationship that neither feels threatened that the other would cheat, but I still don't want to give someone else the wrong impression. I have friends I'll happily share an umbrella with, but there's a much larger number of people who might offer and I'll decline. Like another parent at a kid's sporting event. Someone who's name I ought to know, but can't remember, and I've met the other parent, but I don't know what their deal is. Someone who goes in for the hug, but has never seen the inside of my car. Are they just super friendly, or are they angling for more? I'm fairly oblivious to the "signals" as my wife will attest, and I've been accused in the past of leading people on, so I'm a little gunshy.
So if that's being interpreted as toxic masculinity, I think I'd rather people believe that about me than have to politely decline another indecent proposal from someone I'm going to have to see at every PTO meeting.
Hahaha, I was in my car once, in a parking lot, and I saw this white-oakley-wearing baloon animal due running to his jacked up truck with his shoulders all hunched because it started raining. No one else was doing that LOL
Isn't being wet gayer than using an umbrella?
Wait, I have clarifying questions.
Were you also in the rain?
Were you offering the umbrella to take with me?
Were you offering to share the umbrella?
I don't mind a little rain, especially when I have my rain jacket on. Sometimes I find carrying an umbrella around cumbersome. If it's really pouring, I have several umbrellas of various sizes, but more often than not I'll just go without.
If you are also in the rain, I don't want to deprive you of the umbrella you cared to bring.
If I'm taking the umbrella with me, that's an implied obligation to return the umbrella in good condition, something I don't trust myself to remember to do. I'd rather be a little wet than create that social contract I'm probably going to fuck up somehow and foster animosity.
If you're offering to share the umbrella, there's an implied intimacy there. I'm happily married, and we are secure in our relationship that neither feels threatened that the other would cheat, but I still don't want to give someone else the wrong impression. I have friends I'll happily share an umbrella with, but there's a much larger number of people who might offer and I'll decline. Like another parent at a kid's sporting event. Someone who's name I ought to know, but can't remember, and I've met the other parent, but I don't know what their deal is. Someone who goes in for the hug, but has never seen the inside of my car. Are they just super friendly, or are they angling for more? I'm fairly oblivious to the "signals" as my wife will attest, and I've been accused in the past of leading people on, so I'm a little gunshy.
So if that's being interpreted as toxic masculinity, I think I'd rather people believe that about me than have to politely decline another indecent proposal from someone I'm going to have to see at every PTO meeting.
Refusing to drink beer from a glass.
That's so weird, because it's such a manly profession out in restaurants and the career version of it. But the second cooking happens at the home, now it's woman's work (to these toxic masculinity guys). So bizarre.
I'm guessing they view cooking at home as unmanly because it's main purpose is taking care of others.
While a career in cooking is stressful and difficult. Very manly indeed.
My father in law used to get on my case a lot about cooking. I love to cook. I spend a lot of time in the kitchen and have done it professionally. He wasn't nasty about it but he's an older fella (being that I'm 50) and he used to say "I just can't understand." He has been around good food his entire life made all around the world. I asked him to name one professional chef that was female aside from Julia Child. At the time there weren't many well known in that boys club yet. Then I explained.that my workshop ( a big thing in his life) was the kitchen. Gadgets, fire and sharp things that can lop off fingers everywhere you look. It took him a long time to accept it but he worked it out.
My sister doesn't want to cook because she's brainwashed by capitalism feminist movement culture.
Are you sure she is the one that's brainwashed?
Ye what does "capitalism feminist movement culture" even mean lmao
I know some people that never wipe their ass because that's a gay thing. Well if being hetero means have a dirty ass and smell like shit, I think I rather be gay then.
Reusing a plastic bag to get their lunch from the shop
When I was a teen I had a friend that wouldn't cross his legs because only women do it or something, but he was also too chicken to confront any adult that did it when we walked about.
So based on this thread, I have to conclude that the danger of traditional masculinity has been massively overreported.
The real answer is violence. Toxic males are too quick to react to the slightest perceived transgressions with overwhelming violence.
But this is social media and we are looking for funny answers.
I watched an extremely drunk dude kick his own ass at the nightclub because I accidentally touched his hand when reaching for my drink. He started drunkenly yelling at me that I was some kind of homo for wanting to touch him. I told him it was an accident, and walked outside to have a cigarette. He followed me outside and tried to fight me. But, he was so drunk that I saw his punch coming a mile away and just stepped back a couple of inches. The momentum from his punch carried him all the way around in a circle and then he fell forward and smacked his head on a brick planter. The sound was awful. He knocked himself out cold, and blood was everywhere. I just went back inside while the bouncers tried to wake him up, and I never saw him again.
Greatest thing I've read all night.
Haha, I'm glad it was entertaining.
Good thing this thread isn't what the dangers of traditional masculinity are solely reported on.
This thread asked about the most absurd, not the most dangerous.
Saw on a tangent thread on a Lemmy post about bidets that someone didn't wash their hole in the shower because "too gay"