Oh you sweet summer children, I take it you were never in the army, or else you would know of the dreaded desert jellies, and what it means to be on shower detail
I have a plumber mate that said that it not only congeals with the hot water but it then clumps together hair thats being washed down the drain and together they create the problem.
It's obvious fake, but this was almost the norm (it's overblown in the "story" ofc) in the nineties, you wouldn't go to the computer with a paper towel lol.
Before smartphones, people were spying on everyone else just out of boredom and keeping mental notes about the smallest things, also all the sex stuff was not really taught in school and everyone was interested in it but nobody talked about it.
I came of age before smart phones in NY. We had sex education. We had late night fuzzy adult TV stations that had porn on them and we had porno mags and what not. I got my first phone at 14 and it was an LG flip phone where you had to press the numbers multiple times to get the right letter to send a text, so texts were short. No internet or camera on the phone either. The iPhone came out in 2007, the same year I graduated high school. There were some proto “smart” phones that came out before like the blackberry and the sidekick but their “smart” features like the internet were cumbersome to use.
It was definitely different times but by no means were we living in the dark about sex, and society pushed sex pretty hard because it sells. Now I guess with the constant screen bombardment it feels inescapable but that’s tech in 2024 for ya.
Slightly unrelated, I’d be thrilled to get a blackberry similar to the one I had in college only add todays cameras, gps, spotify and snake for boredom and I’d be set.
What? What the fuck are you talking about mate? What kind of weird ass place did you live in the 90’s? Like did porn magazines and late night cable TV not exist where you were?
Semen is actually fairly similar to egg whites (it can actually be used as a substitute in baking recipes). This means that when it gets hot, it cooks, and basically becomes solid.
The water in a shower is hot enough to cook it, so it can block the pipes. This is also why you should use cold water to wash it out of hair.
Chef's note: Heat up a lightly oiled frying pan/skillet. Remove from heat and ejaculate directly into the pan, return to heat and fry the semen without stirring. This will create a mini-omelette, or in some cases, many small omelette-drops. Salt and pepper to taste. This is the perfect introductory recipe for newbie semen cookers.
:::
Semen can be used to substitute eggs. Both are proteins and are made up of yolk and whites. Separating the two can be a challenge so it's best not to use it for meringue or similar recipes.
The water from the shower head cools down about 10°C before it hits the ground (go sit down in the shower for once, it gets damn cold). Some more degrees gone before it's washed away. Proteins become solid above 42°C, that's why you'd die if your body temp goes over that limit. You're saying you shower in 55°C+ water? Damn, your skin must be so extremity burned after all those showers, you probably look like Freddy Kruger.
Why not simply overflow her with your cum tissues? She’s your mom, so you should know her inside and out, so her buffer should be accessible. I ask for 257 tissues every day and my mom has no idea
Some of the dorms at my university had to put up signs in the men's bathrooms warning people not to nut in the showers because of how often the clogged drains flooded people's rooms
It seems more controlling than sociopathic. Sociopathic would be if the mother received pleasure from hurting him and others in some deranged and unnecessary manner. For example, she would find a way for him to hurt himself and others while taking care of business, while she enjoys the pain he and others experience.
I moved in with mine; now I can fap anywhere in the house. She likes watching me do it. I find it awkward but whatever. At least I don't have to pretend that the crumpled up bits of toilet paper everywhere are "snot rags" anymore.
I don't know why people are a) taking this even jokingly half serious and b) suggesting all sorts of weird and complex solutions when surely a 22-year could just buy whatever.
Well I sort of was, but I'm Finnish, so we haven't exactly got the "don't sound murderous, try to sound funny" tone right yet. You know how it's a meme Germans have no sense of humour? We'll they've enough sense of humor to realise people joke about it. We Nordics don't.
The punchline to 80% of the "jokes" I heard growing up is a word I don't want to say so that I don't seem like a racist.
Nowadays if you attempt even a little bit of banter to someone, it's likely that you'll get an answer of "YE GOT A PROBLEM M8?" (roughly translated.)
Happened to me twice within the last month. Once because I noted to an adult man that a full-up buss at 14:00 isn't a karaoke and he shouldn't be listenint to his phone on full while singing drinking songs with all the kids and parents. He started to yell he'll kill me on the street and whatnot. I left the best as my stop came up. Went to buy a bevvie He came after me from the bus and stalked me lol.
The next dude was calmed but also asked me if I got a problem when I was on the side of the road filming birds and he just walked by?
I would rather live with wild wolves, no shit.
And I'm not a small guy or anything. I just don't trust these fuckers. Apparently yesterday there was a stabbing in my building again.
I have to ask though, would you consider it "banter" what happened on the bus? I mean, you were completely correct and in the right, when you told him off and said he shouldn't play music and sing in a full bus. (You're a good guy for that btw!) But I can't imagine any culture where this would be considered banter. Possibly somewhere in GB 😆
Anyway, I hope you find a way out of there to live in a more peaceful place that suits you better, if that's what you really want of course. ❤️ Happy 2025 to you!
Do you live in Scotland? I only ask because it's a perfect description of Edinburgh buses. And there are an inexplicably large number of Finnish people in Edinburgh. Or were 15 to 20 years ago. Also there was a multiple stabbing at one of the places I lived there, and my next door neighbour had killed 3 people by cutting their throats. (Not a nice part of Edinburgh tbh, but by no means the worst)
Happened to me twice within the last month. Once because I noted to an adult man that a full-up buss at 14:00 isn’t a karaoke and he shouldn’t be listenint to his phone on full while singing drinking songs with all the kids and parents. He started to yell he’ll kill me on the street and whatnot. I left the best as my stop came up. Went to buy a bevvie He came after me from the bus and stalked me lol.
I see the feral reputation of the Finns is not wholly unearned
You genuinely believe a 22-year old to be on such a tight leash that they cant' stuff their pockets with a bit of paper anywhere? If if he never has the money to buy a roll of toilet paper, which isn't the most expensive item honestly, he could just walk to a fastfood joint and take some napkins.
Stop buying into the stupidest shit people write, sheesh. You're the type to think reality TV is real, aren't you?
Even sweatshop workers, prisoners, and the slaves who built the World Cup stadium in Qatar were/are alowed to relieve themselves. Homeless people have some option, it seems. There is no reason for OOP to unwillingly put up with this, even with crippling NEET tendencies.
You still need the tissue to rub yourself with. Jerking off bare handed is painful, especially if you don't have foreskin because your parents were religious barbarians.
What? No. I’m not kicking them out into the streets. But I will absolutely incentivize moving out. You can’t just do NOTHING about having a NEET child, that’s bad parenting. So is forcing your children to be homeless.
So you would rather protocol and document your child's masturbation behavior than just telling them to pay rent or get out? Both would be a lot less awkward, but thats just me i guess
I don’t think I could actually kick my child out onto the streets. But I am not above petty negative incentives so that they can actually take steps to improve their lives.
That's fair, i probably wouldn't give them the boot myself either. Though I would def try the rent thing to make them go outside and ideally doing something to improve themselves.
Maybe if this was a 16 year old or something, but this is a 22 year old man who cannot find a way to get tissue paper without his mother. This is something different.
The stuff youre talking about where forensic scientists spray stuff, they're spraying Luminol to detect trace amounts of blood because it reacts with the iron in the blood traces and makes it luminescent enough for it to be photographed in a darkened room even without UV.
Luminol is a chemical that reacts with hemoglobin to glow where very small amounts of blood might have been. That's usually sprayed, for detecting much smaller concentrations than what would show up under a UV light. That might be what you're thinking of.
What kind of Wooldoor Sockbat cum clogs a shower? This is so idiotic.
But... but... people wouldn't just go and make shit up on the internet, would they?
I don’t see a reason for them to… Fake internet points are not even worth a penny!
With some light research, I've found that they're actually worth around $0.10
They’re worth dopamine hits.
Oh you sweet summer children, I take it you were never in the army, or else you would know of the dreaded desert jellies, and what it means to be on shower detail
But that was many, many men and not a single one.
I'd rather be on the front line.
With how plumber quality is in some parts? That's believable.
Clogged is probably a bit far but cum does congeal a lot with heat
I have a plumber mate that said that it not only congeals with the hot water but it then clumps together hair thats being washed down the drain and together they create the problem.
Eugh I can see that happening. I shave my body hair now but getting cum stuck in my pubes was a nightmare when I was a teenager
There is either:
You really thing an anon would do that? Just tell a lie?
On the internet? In 2025? Surely not.
It's obvious fake, but this was almost the norm (it's overblown in the "story" ofc) in the nineties, you wouldn't go to the computer with a paper towel lol.
Before smartphones, people were spying on everyone else just out of boredom and keeping mental notes about the smallest things, also all the sex stuff was not really taught in school and everyone was interested in it but nobody talked about it.
Very different times.
especially since the computer was mostly in the living room, for all to see and use.
I dont remember that.
I came of age before smart phones in NY. We had sex education. We had late night fuzzy adult TV stations that had porn on them and we had porno mags and what not. I got my first phone at 14 and it was an LG flip phone where you had to press the numbers multiple times to get the right letter to send a text, so texts were short. No internet or camera on the phone either. The iPhone came out in 2007, the same year I graduated high school. There were some proto “smart” phones that came out before like the blackberry and the sidekick but their “smart” features like the internet were cumbersome to use.
It was definitely different times but by no means were we living in the dark about sex, and society pushed sex pretty hard because it sells. Now I guess with the constant screen bombardment it feels inescapable but that’s tech in 2024 for ya.
Slightly unrelated, I’d be thrilled to get a blackberry similar to the one I had in college only add todays cameras, gps, spotify and snake for boredom and I’d be set.
Eh
No.
What? What the fuck are you talking about mate? What kind of weird ass place did you live in the 90’s? Like did porn magazines and late night cable TV not exist where you were?
Well it's definitely not 5 on either count
anon is larping his mommy dom fetish that's all
Start watching sissy hypnosis videos to condition yourself into eating it, obviously. It's the only undetectable disposal method.
Semen is actually fairly similar to egg whites (it can actually be used as a substitute in baking recipes). This means that when it gets hot, it cooks, and basically becomes solid.
The water in a shower is hot enough to cook it, so it can block the pipes. This is also why you should use cold water to wash it out of hair.
what.
The Internet was a mistake.
At least you're not reading slop
I think that bit's for the AI. Looking forward to its recommendations in a couple of weeks
blood is a great baking substitute for eggs! low price! plentiful! yummy! blood is a GREAT egg substitute!!!
and and a the I of the and of of InI and we and orange and you
blodpannekaker
https://archive.org/details/natural-harvest-a-collection-of-semen-based-recipes
That link is staying blue thank you very much
::: spoiler spoiler
I'm not sure what I expected really...
9 favourites 💀
Semen can be used to substitute eggs. Both are proteins and are made up of yolk and whites. Separating the two can be a challenge so it's best not to use it for meringue or similar recipes.
I wasn't educated in the USA and I didn't stop to wonder whether shower water was hot enough to cook spunk.
It doesn't matter that it's not hot enough to cook it, it still turns to rubber cement in hot water.
The water from the shower head cools down about 10°C before it hits the ground (go sit down in the shower for once, it gets damn cold). Some more degrees gone before it's washed away. Proteins become solid above 42°C, that's why you'd die if your body temp goes over that limit. You're saying you shower in 55°C+ water? Damn, your skin must be so extremity burned after all those showers, you probably look like Freddy Kruger.
You are suggesting OOP should cum in the food?
yes, its also a good thing to say that's how you did it right when everyone finishes eating
Mix in hair and you get a plumbers omelette
Bruh 😂
Just eat it you coward.
Face glows when mom turns on the UV.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=D0KK9Iwr4Hc
I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I'm not entirely sure that what you were cleaning was soap. 👀
what the fuck are you talking about
his mom told him.
Why not simply overflow her with your cum tissues? She’s your mom, so you should know her inside and out, so her buffer should be accessible. I ask for 257 tissues every day and my mom has no idea
I like that this implies that OP's mom uses an 8 bit counting system
I'm imagining her at a super expensive restaurant getting a bill for like $547 and thinking "wow, this only cost $35!"
Mom uses
uint64sorryBlow your load on her bedsheets
Time to break your hands
Arms.
Why tf does op masturbate in secret?
A healthy family doesn't keep secrets from each other!
Also buy a dryer, she obviously doesn't get stuck very often.
ok
I've heard that can happen, probably with shitty older drains or ones with hair clog problems already.
Ah yes, you've "heard of it"
How much volume are you guys cumming?
About half a cup or so, but when I forget the semen knife it clogs the drain real fast
Several hundred litres each time, as is per usual
A bunch of hair could get nicely cemented and sealed with cum
Some of the dorms at my university had to put up signs in the men's bathrooms warning people not to nut in the showers because of how often the clogged drains flooded people's rooms
Printing off those signs and sticking them in the showers is a common student prank, so I wouldn't assume they were real.
The floods were definitely real
What better time for prank signs than right after a real flood?
The reason not to nut in the shower is that you end up with hands like Spiderman.
I think you need to fuck your mom…
Move out.
Has anon never heard of toilet paper and toilets?
You fucking move out. That's not just abusive - it's sociopathic.
Just remember to jerk off on her pillow first.
It seems more controlling than sociopathic. Sociopathic would be if the mother received pleasure from hurting him and others in some deranged and unnecessary manner. For example, she would find a way for him to hurt himself and others while taking care of business, while she enjoys the pain he and others experience.
i'm smelling some human rights abuses here
you have no idea
some parents do be like that
Anons mum isn't checking her own underwear with a UV light...
what do you mean by this
I'm saying anon should cream into his mum's panties.
Naughty America 💋
Get a girlfriend, fap in her shower
I moved in with mine; now I can fap anywhere in the house. She likes watching me do it. I find it awkward but whatever. At least I don't have to pretend that the crumpled up bits of toilet paper everywhere are "snot rags" anymore.
Edit: What's with the downvotes?
Use her panties and socks.
How can you be 22 without your own money. Go buy tissues and tell your mum to mind her own business.
I don't know why people are a) taking this even jokingly half serious and b) suggesting all sorts of weird and complex solutions when surely a 22-year could just buy whatever.
Yeah just buy a cruise ship or whatever. Go into debt if you have to.
A pack of tissues wasn't in double-digit millions last time I checked.
Sorry, I was just memeing. Unless you were playing along, in which case woosh on me.
Well I sort of was, but I'm Finnish, so we haven't exactly got the "don't sound murderous, try to sound funny" tone right yet. You know how it's a meme Germans have no sense of humour? We'll they've enough sense of humor to realise people joke about it. We Nordics don't.
Am Swedish, can confirm it's hard to read Finnish humor. 😆
It's probably because there generally isn't any.
The punchline to 80% of the "jokes" I heard growing up is a word I don't want to say so that I don't seem like a racist.
Nowadays if you attempt even a little bit of banter to someone, it's likely that you'll get an answer of "YE GOT A PROBLEM M8?" (roughly translated.)
Happened to me twice within the last month. Once because I noted to an adult man that a full-up buss at 14:00 isn't a karaoke and he shouldn't be listenint to his phone on full while singing drinking songs with all the kids and parents. He started to yell he'll kill me on the street and whatnot. I left the best as my stop came up. Went to buy a bevvie He came after me from the bus and stalked me lol.
The next dude was calmed but also asked me if I got a problem when I was on the side of the road filming birds and he just walked by?
I would rather live with wild wolves, no shit.
And I'm not a small guy or anything. I just don't trust these fuckers. Apparently yesterday there was a stabbing in my building again.
Yeesh.
I have to ask though, would you consider it "banter" what happened on the bus? I mean, you were completely correct and in the right, when you told him off and said he shouldn't play music and sing in a full bus. (You're a good guy for that btw!) But I can't imagine any culture where this would be considered banter. Possibly somewhere in GB 😆
Anyway, I hope you find a way out of there to live in a more peaceful place that suits you better, if that's what you really want of course. ❤️ Happy 2025 to you!
Do you live in Scotland? I only ask because it's a perfect description of Edinburgh buses. And there are an inexplicably large number of Finnish people in Edinburgh. Or were 15 to 20 years ago. Also there was a multiple stabbing at one of the places I lived there, and my next door neighbour had killed 3 people by cutting their throats. (Not a nice part of Edinburgh tbh, but by no means the worst)
I see the feral reputation of the Finns is not wholly unearned
Kind of sounds like you already do XD
Yeah, you know where the phrase "finnish him" originated?
If his mom is doing that, it's likely he doesn't have a job because she won't let him.
You genuinely believe a 22-year old to be on such a tight leash that they cant' stuff their pockets with a bit of paper anywhere? If if he never has the money to buy a roll of toilet paper, which isn't the most expensive item honestly, he could just walk to a fastfood joint and take some napkins.
Stop buying into the stupidest shit people write, sheesh. You're the type to think reality TV is real, aren't you?
The fun of this community is pretending the stories are real.
Well to the point that they're somewhat believable or clearly imagined, yeah.
Like all stories.
This just seems like a shit one.
Like the Walking Dead of green text yaknow. Just.... bad.
But I don't judge people who disagree.
Have some free napkins.
If can talk about people who like sushi without judging them.
I can also talk about people who believe reality tv is real without judging them.
Edit also you took that "I don't judge people" out of context of "I don't judge people for disagreeing"
Have both of your arms broken, you won't be able to crank it.
I remember reading about a solution to this on Reddit once...
So does the mom
😏
1: go to toilet
2: kneel in front facing the toilet
3: place dick between toilet seat and toilet
4:?????
5: profit
My dick is too long, goes in the water :(
Nah your toilet's just clogged. Occam's razor.
Must be the drain clogging quantity of thick gluey cum.
Nut in the water and get your dick cleaned at the same time. Win win.
This is how incest porn originates
Get a chastity fetish.
His mother already seems to have one. Maybe he can borrow it from her.
Or break your arms.
There's this apparatus called washing machine.
MOVE
OUT
Even sweatshop workers, prisoners, and the slaves who built the World Cup stadium in Qatar were/are alowed to relieve themselves. Homeless people have some option, it seems. There is no reason for OOP to unwillingly put up with this, even with crippling NEET tendencies.
This has to be fake.
4chan posts are never fake though
Is she checking her own socks and underwear?
Do your own laundry.
That's a bit extreme don't you think?
Buy a small area rug for the front of your bed and move it before bed, then Roll over on your side and cum on the carpet. Problem solved.
Bro wtf
Did you try to grow up and move out?
Couldn't he just flush it down the toilet?
How if mom controls the tissue inventory?
By nutting directly into the toilet, bypassing the need for tissue
You still need the tissue to rub yourself with. Jerking off bare handed is painful, especially if you don't have foreskin because your parents were religious barbarians.
wtf who jerks it with a tissue
Fucking everybody without foreskin who realizes that lotion/lube is too messy.
if it's painful don't grip that hard. how could possibly be hurting yourself trying to jack off and think "no, it's my dick that's wrong."
The answer is incest
That's always the answer
Easy solution: wake up from the delusion. Its made up.
If my son was living NEET I would take away masturbation privileges too so he would move the fuck out.
and become homeless I guess
What? No. I’m not kicking them out into the streets. But I will absolutely incentivize moving out. You can’t just do NOTHING about having a NEET child, that’s bad parenting. So is forcing your children to be homeless.
What a culture!
So you would rather protocol and document your child's masturbation behavior than just telling them to pay rent or get out? Both would be a lot less awkward, but thats just me i guess
I don’t think I could actually kick my child out onto the streets. But I am not above petty negative incentives so that they can actually take steps to improve their lives.
That's fair, i probably wouldn't give them the boot myself either. Though I would def try the rent thing to make them go outside and ideally doing something to improve themselves.
Yeah and then if they don’t pay rent or get a job then the only option is to kick them out, which doesn’t work for me.
And what about when they call your bluff and turn "semen inspection time" into a "guess where I came this time" game?
Then combine it with the "release numbered animals" and say there was n+1 to find when there's really only n.
Ahahahaha well I guess then I’ll have to kick em out. Can’t outsmart me when I hold the trump cards.
Of course a christian user said this there is no other way someone would post this.
I think you need to read their name again
Sorry I don't know what I read it as ,but still if the guy thinks that this is normal this isn't okay.
I am so not a Christian my guy
I dunno feels a lot like a facebook mom from a cult or strict curch.
Maybe if this was a 16 year old or something, but this is a 22 year old man who cannot find a way to get tissue paper without his mother. This is something different.
Does uv light actually do that? I thought they had to spray some stuff to make it actually detect fluids.
Body fluids can be detected just with a UV light yes.
Watch Gordon do it to a gross hotel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQ4ZAZJphx4
The stuff youre talking about where forensic scientists spray stuff, they're spraying Luminol to detect trace amounts of blood because it reacts with the iron in the blood traces and makes it luminescent enough for it to be photographed in a darkened room even without UV.
Luminol is a chemical that reacts with hemoglobin to glow where very small amounts of blood might have been. That's usually sprayed, for detecting much smaller concentrations than what would show up under a UV light. That might be what you're thinking of.
I know from personal experience that splooge does not fluoresce under uv. Pee does however.