...I was wrong. The instance hadn't federated to my instance yet. I fell a slight sense of loss.

I dreamt that I was hired as part of the team to help Trump hold a rally at place with several warehouses. My job was to go around between warehouses making sure everything was in order and people knew how to get from the main warehouse to the fried chicken warehouse which was about three warehouses down.

The thing was that Trump's show of extravagance for this event was fried chicken. He ordered so much fried chicken that the chicken was kept and served in a separate warehouse so attendants had to walk between the warehouses and see that the boundaries of the pathways were lined with fried chicken. Yes, the edges of asphalt walkway between the main entrance warehouse and the food serving warehouse were sited with fried chicken quarters (leg and thigh). During the prep, it was daytime and the workers were all friendly with each other. Once the event began, it became night time and the workers stayed socially distant. But get this...despite the insane amount of fried chicken that is being wasted on the floor as ornaments and that Trump instructed everyone to go get chicken once the event started, people, including the workers, still had to pay for chicken.

So in my dream, I was working for Trump at a rally, we lined the streets with fried chicken, and we all still had to pay for it. Wtf does that mean? Why am I dreaming about this?

I've been taking dexmethyl extended release for a bit with no problems. Works great. We decided to tray a higher dose. To do so, we needed pills with smaller doses rather than one huge one. That caused me to change pharmacies due to availability. Same medication, different pharmacy.

1st day

• Same dose as before, just in several smaller dosed pills.
• A bit tired in the afternoon. I stay in my room. I get take out.

2nd day

• 10 mg more than regular
• I drive out to town. On the way back, I feel like I couldn't care about anything. I had to repeat to myself in my head what I wanted to say for like a min before saying it. I stop at Costco and everyone felt like floating entities in a universe-sea that I was swim-walking through. It was like I was playing a very realistic 1st-person Grand Theft Auto, except I'm not a psychopathic car thief and serial killer; instead, I ate a slice of pizza and got some Ensures. Coming back home, I stop to get a coffee to help with the drive home. I was alert and aware, just distracted. I stay in my room the rest of the day. Don't feel like cooking, so I get take out.

3rd day

• 10 mg more than regular
• I don't do anything productive. I tried to watch TV around noon, but couldn't pay attention. I remember thinking, "That guy is saying something. I wonder if it's important." I am freezing all day. I take 2-3 hot showers just to warm up. I came to ask a question on Lemmy and completely forgot what it was. I ended up playing Age of Empires 2 for like 6 hours and lost all but one match. The one I didn't lose was cause my team won it. I literally only contributed 2 trebuchets.

4th day (today)

• 20 mg more than regular
• 45 mins after taking, I am straight up hallucinating. The walls start becoming even more 3d (lol); there are layers now. The patterns I just saw somewhere else in the room are transposed on top of what I am currently looking at. The colors fluctuate in intensity from colorful to black & white. Everything feels far away. My senses don't feel connected. Visuals and audio were two separate worlds independent of each other. I could hear silence. Silence has a sound, y'all! Doing something like showering seemed like a mission, so I didn't do it. I am freezing cold, wearing an undershirt, a long-sleeve shirt, two hoodies, long johns, sweat pants, and socks...all indoors and it's like 65°F in here.
• Luckily, I was scheduled to meet with the doctor. He took notes, and asked if the bottle lists the manufacturer. I looked at the bottle twice as best as I could and respond that it doesn't. He asks me to show him the bottle and he spots it in a second. He said it's likely the generic manufacturer. He told me to keep track of generics that I have adverse events with and to notify the pharmacy so they don't give it to me again. I'm going back to the previous dose, pharmacy, and manufacturer.

Edit: I'm gonna have to make edits as I notice typos

Relevant video: https://youtu.be/VDqsHl3lBlA

Explanation: Many conspiracy theories argue that the CIA had or let JFK get assassinated, in part, for saying he wanted to, "Splinter the CIA into a thousand pieces and scatter it into the winds." About a week ago, Trump has pushed to get all a list of all FBI agents that worked on the Jan 6 case in any manner in order to fire them. This includes high-level agents. More recently, the FBI announced that they found 2,400 new JFK assassination records.

My 28-hours circadian cycle jacks me up. I am dragging ass in the morning. I will get up at 5:30 with the Sun and not do anything beside doom scroll for hours. I might get up to brush my teeth around 9:00, maybe start living the day around 11:00. This is with meds. I'm trying to start a morning routine that gets me going. The basic tasks are:

1. Have something planned to look forward to
2. Wake up same time everyday with curtains open for light
3. Make the bed
4. Brush teeth
5. Morning check in with a friend
6. Positive/enjoyable morning activities

It is at #6 where I could use some help because everything besides laying down in quiet with headphones on and looking at pointless superficial stuff on the internet seems like it is too much effort. Food is repulsive in the morning, so no breakfast. I also need to be near a restroom for the first few hours in the mornings. Any recommendations?

Like autistic people get to be autistic. That's a word, and it has meaning. Someone can be autistic because it's a type of person (spectrumy type). In my opinion, ADHD sucks as an identifying term. It's 3 letters, one repeated. It means nothing as it is spelled and can't be owned as an identity because they're letters, not a word. "I'm adhudd." The initials include "disorder" in it. That sucks. Autistic people don't go around saying, "Hi, I'm austically disordered," cause that's not accepting. Is there a term that is smooth and not judgmental for ADHD? Maybe we can take Aspergers since it got dropped, but add the 'd' to get "Adspergers". Nah, that's stupid af. What about multibrained? I feel multibrained because I act like I've got multiple brains running in my head doing their own thing all at the same time, and I bounce around them based on who knows what.

What? Oh, yes...I'll have the spaghetti bolog-knees. Do you guys have red pepper...crushed red pepper? Yeah, thanks. Cool. I like your name tag. Is that really your name? Samsquatch?...oh! It's Samuel, but you changed it to Samsquatch! I love Trailer Park Boys. Fuck off, Leahy! Yeah. Sorry. I got excited.

Okay. So...um, is there a descriptive word for ADHD that isn't ADHD?

A white background with an all black icon of a person with eyes closed, crying, and holding their right hand to the face. The caption reads:

I am chronically ill

daily I take pills

to keep climbing the hill

while engaging my skills

to help you get your fill

while I shitpost for thrills

It's like your looking at pictures of a kid you vaguely recognize but can even remember them. "Where do I know that kid from??"

There's the whole TikTok thing, talk about EV cars, and now DeepSeek. I know I've heard my own stuff too, but I want to see what other people are hearing and seeing?

I'm getting real sick of all this self-help advice giving vague instructions. Wtf does keeping someone accountable mean?? Do you run a sheet on social revenue and expenses? Imma need a flowchart with these please.

You somehow magically sense something there through your eyes, but you don't see it at all. It's stronger if you don't look at it directly and move your head about a little. It's like there's an unconscious observer reporting where things are, and you just take the info and acknowledge it, but you don't see it. Anyone else get this?

Edit: So what I'm gathering is that they're not so dangerous that they will strike out of nowhere, and people need to be alert of their surroundings constantly. They almost always get seen if there is going to be an interaction, and the vast majority of the time just walk away. Is this correct?

I find that sunrise has a more white and blue look to it, while sunset has more of a red and orange look. Is that really what they look like, or is it because of some personal bias, such as comparing sunrise to the darkness just before it and sunset to the bright blue sky?

...emphasize[s] a sense of loss, of unreachable hope, her isolation, and the absence of any means of help.

• Wikipedia

Never mind. I don't want to deal with it. I got excited for a little, but after sitting on it for a while, I realize that I rather not. Sorry and thanks!

Lemmy has a strong tendency to criticize the US, and a lot of the critiques of certain issue with the US are valid. However, I started getting really tired of opening comment sections in innocuous and non-political posts only to see that someone somehow found a way to criticize the US in it. At first, I started thinking that maybe some Lemmy users are really unhappy and find criticizing a something stronger helped them feel better as if standing up to injustice was a passion of theirs. But, we don't see them do that with other targets, just the US. The more I notice and think about it, I'm starting be suspicious that some of those users and comments aren't authentic, but made to create divisiveness in the West and reject the US entirely. In other words, they may be Russian, Chinese, et al. agents working to feed a stream of propaganda in order to further cause chaos and lack of unity in the West as we have seen them do before.

Anyone else think about this?

This is what I'm thinking the game plan is:

1. Criticize something obviously unjust that the US has done. Ignore that all other major powers have also committed atrocities.
2. Link and liken it to other US matters & behaviors
3. Paint the US entirely as evil so that nothing the US can do is just
4. Attack anyone that supports anything out of the US (we are between here and #3 above)
5. Create a black-and-white model of geopolitics: US vs everyone else. EU and Russia on the same team lol
6. West fragments as US and EU relationship dwindle from pseudo-populist movements (e.g. MAGA)
7. Pick specific countries in the EU to start alienating and repeat the cycle
8. ???
9. Profit in special economic zones

I understand that effective journalism costs money to produce, proficient journalists should get and will go where they are paid, and sites need funds to maintain their operations. All that makes sense. However, I don't read one website I use Lemmy and internet searches to find news I'm interested in reading. I maybe go to the same paywalled news site twice a week at most, but rarely if ever quarce a month. It would make no sense for me to have a subscription to any paywalled news site even if I wanted to spend money. I have no option other than to use proxies, assume the article from others' comments, or just read the title.

The internet news media system sucks, but I don't see a solution.