I wanna be like that very annoying NPC in the Pokemon Bizzare fangame that just rambles on forever about such a meaningless story. But with my own nonsensical story that has negative a million plot relevance.
Otherwise, if we're talking like a single sentence of dialogue:
Hokus pocus, joker's ride, come take a spin on a carnie ride
Bonus points if it's in a medieval set game and deeply confuses the player character.
Hello! (Deep in my eyes you could read that I had something very exciting to tell you at some point, but it was part of something that got cut due to cost reduction.)
I like to imagine myself standing by the main road, away from any important game stuff, but somewhere the player must pass through to get to the game stuff. And I'm just screaming at the top of my lungs. No reason, and it's never even addressed; it's just something the game implemented to annoy the player character.
"The GNU Affero General Public License is a free, copyleft license for software and other kinds of works, specifically designed to ensure cooperation with the community in the case of network server software..."
"I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you're refering to as Linux, is in fact, GNU/Linux, or as I've recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Linux. Linux is not an operating system unto itself, but rather another free component of a fully functioning GNU system made useful by the GNU corelibs, shell utilities and vital system components comprising a full OS as defined by POSIX."
Remember the crazy hermit in Ravenholm in HL2 who won't help you until you complete some tasks? He speaks at you over a loudspeaker and then through a slit in a door IIRC. It's a beautifully designed level.
Anyway, I'd like to tip my hat to that crochety character by being an NPC who recites the Gettysburg Address during an epic onslaught.
"Did you know that according to our definition of rocks, ice counts? I've just been thinki- oh, you did? Well, next time you meet me, I'll have come up with a new, incredible fact! Like: "
85 replies
Sometimes i doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.
"Please just end it and make it quick"
I wanna be like that very annoying NPC in the Pokemon Bizzare fangame that just rambles on forever about such a meaningless story. But with my own nonsensical story that has negative a million plot relevance.
Otherwise, if we're talking like a single sentence of dialogue:
Bonus points if it's in a medieval set game and deeply confuses the player character.
Beetlejuice
Poop
TRUMP SHOULD BE ARRESTED
Did you know? You can change your gender at any time by going to the OPTIONS MENU. Normally it's a lot of work!
Oh now you have me worrying whether game devs are going to start disabling gender switching after character creation.
I AM ERROR.
"Want some rye? 'Course ya do."
"It's dangerous to go alone. Take this."
But I give a random, weird, (seemingly?) useless item each game.
"This is my one line of dialogue."
They did it, and got away with it too. Don't ask me how I know. I've said too much already.
There was some NPC Golem in WoW which would say "I do not enjoy conversation." when you talked to it.
That one!
Make your politicians stay up at night thinking about you.
Meow
Is it Tuesday already? Where does the time go...
"My potions are TOO strong for you, traveller!"
Did you know that horses can't smell square things?
The drug is here and it must be destroyed.
You keep treating this like some kind of game... do you know something the rest of us don’t?
"Do you make it to the cloud district very often? Oh, what am I saying? Of course you don't."
Mornin'. Nice day for fishing, ain't it? Hua ha.
There it is.
This would be the only option.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"
I like to imagine myself standing by the main road, away from any important game stuff, but somewhere the player must pass through to get to the game stuff. And I'm just screaming at the top of my lungs. No reason, and it's never even addressed; it's just something the game implemented to annoy the player character.
The full text of the AGPL with no line breaks.
"The GNU Affero General Public License is a free, copyleft license for software and other kinds of works, specifically designed to ensure cooperation with the community in the case of network server software..."
"Leave me alone!"
"Wake up. None of this is real."
Or
(Covered in claw marks and cat fur, clutching a warning poster about a wild catlike beast) "if... If not friend... Why friend shaped??"
Have you tried turning it off and on again?
In a game not real life mate.
"I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you're refering to as Linux, is in fact, GNU/Linux, or as I've recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Linux. Linux is not an operating system unto itself, but rather another free component of a fully functioning GNU system made useful by the GNU corelibs, shell utilities and vital system components comprising a full OS as defined by POSIX."
"I've got plenty of things to say!"
Nothing matters, mate
I like shorts! They're comfy and easy to wear!
Hey, you're not wearing shorts!
The only war is class war.
Remember the crazy hermit in Ravenholm in HL2 who won't help you until you complete some tasks? He speaks at you over a loudspeaker and then through a slit in a door IIRC. It's a beautifully designed level.
Anyway, I'd like to tip my hat to that crochety character by being an NPC who recites the Gettysburg Address during an epic onslaught.
They digitised my mind and stuck me in here. Get help, please.
I used to be an adventurer like you, but I took an arrow to my knee...
How many donuts can you stack on it?
Ah, interesting, that's... What? Wait, I'm doing five things at once. I just, ah, kind of zoned out for a minute... Hang on.
And I just restart whatever animation loop I'm in.
"I just want to go hug my cat right now"
“The treasure was insane. I saw it myself. You just have to brave the mumble and it’s all yours.”
"I'm too tired for this."
"On your left."
rides by on a bicycle
Welcome to , I love you
It's what plants crave!
“Chicken pot, chicken pot, chicken pot pie!”
"I don't know you, and I don't care to know you."
I know it but I don't think I should say it...
(south park, wheen of fortune skit)
Interloper.
"What the fuck are we even doing?!"
"You know where your towel is?"
"I'll suck your dick if you can free me from this prison."
"I know I put it here somewhere."
"Did you know that according to our definition of rocks, ice counts? I've just been thinki- oh, you did? Well, next time you meet me, I'll have come up with a new, incredible fact! Like: "
This one made me think of the song that never ends, which would be equally as great an answer.
“Oh shit, this again?”
FUCK!
...
"Wash day tomorrow. Nothing clean, right?"
"I open up my wallet, and it's full of blood."
I don't quite know exactly, but I'd love to be the NPCs that eludes to an Easter egg that isn't actually in the game.
Alternatively, dressed slutty in a random bar:
"You need to get your combat multiplier HIGHER before I swing ajar."
Alludes.
That reminds me, I should look into the best way to replay fable, and actually play the sequels that doesn't involve purchasing an Xbox...
I mean, Xenia and Xemu are basically the gold standard for that...
"Come on Frank"
Frank is my dog and we're going somewhere
To make sure my creator got sued for copyright infringement ... "Shake it, baby" or "Damn, I look good" or "I'm too old for this shit"
"First the vision, then the conjuration. This is unsettling."
I used to be a virgin like you, but then I took a vagina to the penis.
“Hey everybody, this guy’s the PC… get ‘im!”
"I mean sure, why not?"
Haldo!
Why walk when you can ride?
"..."
"I'm here to save my family!"
Gary!
Oh excuse me, I need to say hi to an old friend
"I want to go home."
“Happy to help!”
Really I’m paid to help and paid to pretend to be happy about it
I'm just walking by, talking on my phone about catching a bus and cooking dinner that night. Except the game is Skyrim.
Hmph
Fuck the police!
"Go #@*! yourself!"