I've been a devoted sitter for a while. If you stand, you are peeing on your floor. Maybe not a lot, maybe not even a perceptible amount on any individual trip, but definitely some, and over time, a lot. I'm of the opinion it's weird to pee on your own floor, and have been enthusiastically lambasted for this on multiple occasions. Some men for example find it unmanly. Which, putting aside for a moment the fact that there is no inherent correlation with manliness and goodness, is bullshit. Unless they stand to pee when pooping, they already pee sitting down on a regular basis. All I'm doing is increasing the frequency of seated micturation.
That’s why you close the lid to flush… That absolutely bothers me, I wear retainers and they clean in a solution on the counter during the day. I don’t want pee on them or my toothbrush!
I guess I would just say that I feel the acceptable amount for one to pee on their own floor willfully is none. Flushing may present a new issue after the fact, but I can't see a way around flushing. I can however see a way around electing to pee in a sloppy manner because I'm lazy. Though arguably sitting is famously more comfortable than standing, so perhaps impatient would be more accurate than lazy.
the acceptable amount for one to pee on their own floor willfully is none
Nobody's talking about willfully peeing on the floor, we're only talking about microscopic amounts of pee mist that could drift away from the stream when you're peeing from 50 cm from the bowl instead of 10 cm from the bowl.
I just don't want to piss on other peoples floor. Its one thing to piss on my floor and for me to clean it up, its another thing to piss on someone elses floor and expect them to clean it up.
I mean, I'm usually a sitter but sometimes there's a knot in my back that, well when it relaxes it uncorks the damn dam. Sometimes you gotta do calisthenics to get the juices flowing
Totally. Which highlights another aspect of seated superiority: effort. Peeing while seated is absolutely fool proof. Absolutely no focus required. Why concentrate when you can day dream? And it never goes wrong. You're never surprised. Post sex, drunk, in complete darkness, tou never miss, ever.
As a man, I don't justify my choice of peeing positions to anyone. I sit or stand if I want to, and anyone who doesn't like it can fuck off and take their opinions with them.
I've worked in one of those oldhead machine shops where they deliberately don't have any chairs in the work area because "if you're not standing you're not working." You bet I sat my ass down on the toilet instead of using the urinal.
I wouldn't, I don't want to release people's fecal particles into the air while I'm standing there. I find a clean toilet or I go to a different bathroom
Don't know how the toilets work in your country/neck of the woods, but 'round here there's a good 8-10 inches clearance between the water and my ass. I ain't hung like a fuckin donkey.
I have toddlers, twins. They get mesmerised by the laminar flow in the wee and try to grab it.
I guess before I had kids I would wonder why the kids are present for this event but toddlers are super busy, super active, and super curious. You can be watching them juggle knives in the kitchen or whatever and decide to just take a moment to go wee and slink away and they just kinda teleport to your location and try to grab your wee stream.
If you're sitting then you have both hands available to fend off curious hands.
The one trick that I rely on multiple times a day is redirection. "Don't touch daddies wee" translates to "daddies wee is super interesting". However, "Look at this amazing square of toilet paper" is received more or less as stated.
As an owner of girlcock, i do pee while sitting, unless i have to use public restroom, then i pee standing. Public toilets are way to creepy and gross for me to touch them.
I was kind of pressured by my girlfriend to sit, and in the beginning I didn't like it because I felt pressured. However, after sitting for a while, I discovered that it's absolutely the best choice. When you're sitting, you can empty your bladder more. You're comfortable, you're resting, and you don't have to aim. You don't have to do anything. You're just sitting there, emptying your bladder.
Urinators of the world unite! You have nothing to lose, but your pants! ✊
I've been seeing a girl recently and been trying to sit rather than stand. She owns her own home alone so to me it feels very rude to piss all over the floor and seat, even if its just a drop or two that gets away from the bowl. If i wanna stand so badly I'll just go with her dogs in the yard.
I was stand wiper as a kid cause i never knew any better i guess. Someone told me you could reach around and clean before the cheeks close together and it blew my mind and I've never looked back.
If this is a toilet that belongs to you, you can adjust the water level in the bowl by changing the valve in the tank so the bowl fills slower and is more shallow when the tank is filled..
I find the only advantage of having a big dick is the confidence that comes from having a big dick in a society that values that. Everything else is a pain in the ass.
This is gonna sound ... ok ... Here goes: I cannot sit. I got too fat and now my penis looks like a little acorn that points forward. If I sit to pee, it'll splash directly out through the gap under the seat.
I really need to lose weight, if only so I can get my length back, and not have to tuck it down while cursing what I've allowed to happen with my body.
Oh wait. Yeah. I just tuck it down. Then sitting is fine.
i mean they're the standard expensive as fuck price, but i've made some orders through byram healthcare that i paid cash for.
I've also seen my preferred equipment on the bezobazaar for the same price, so i use them as my emergency supplier. if you're having trouble getting supplies let me know - a former coworker now owns and runs a medical supply/equipment store and between the three of us we can figure something out. absolutely don't want you running out of equipment.
Appreciate the offer g - I think my big thing right now is finding a bag/system that I like. I really struggle with getting them to stay on! It’s hotter than heck outside and I sweat like a stuck pig/am reluctant to shave my belly hair.
Oh I shave every time. It helps. I get two more days between changes if I shave around my ileostomy. Then I wash with Neutrogena soap afters. I use the two piece convatec surfit natura. The moldable durahesive is expensive as fuck, but I can get a week between changes.
Also finding the right skin barrier is essential. I use smith&nephew. The ones on the lollipop are great but really expensive. I haven't found an insurance willing to pay for them.
The one important and overlooked thing is making sure you don't use fabric softener on your towels. Also use a brand new (like, fresh out of the cabinet/laundry) towel. Don't want oils from your skin/shampoo/whatever somehow getting on your towel and then hands and then giving your glue a worse adhesion.
You have a name for your stoma? Mine is Elmo. Because he's little, red, and annoying.
Depends what I'm doing. Escaping work? Sit. Half asleep? Sit. Just trying to get shit done but I'm having this annoying ass interruption? Stand. Watering the graves of assholes? Stand. Anything else is basically sit. Oh except gross toilets you really don't want to touch.
Sitting down takes longer. IMO it also flows more easily if I'm standing. I'll sit if I'm tired, or half-asleep, or whatever. I'll stand most of the time to get it over with faster.
Sitting is not only superior, it's also optimal for proper urination. This is not my opinion. A pelvic PT professional told me this. I only stand rarely. Mostly when I'm in a public restroom with a urinal.
Plant your feet firmly on the ground, a little wider than shoulder width. Put your head between your knees. Now try to tell me loafs don't pinch easier in that pose
I do like to sit, but it's a lot harder to get those last few drops out. Sometimes I think I'm all good and then I stand up just to have a few more drops get pushed out right into my pants or underwear. That is definitely not elite.
I suspect this is more about the movement. I'm interested to know how it compares if you pee standing, but then sit immediately after.
Anatomically, the sitting position should provide a better path to emptying the bladder, and there are several comments here saying the opposite to you.
I think the very best for emptying is pee sitting, then stand, sit back down, and see if any more will come out.
When standing up it's definitely harder to get the last drops out. Sitting is easy as fuck, just use TP. On urinals there is no TP, so can't get rid of the last 1-2 drops. Never have that problem when sitting due to TP.
Sitting has a number of problems, for me it's mainly dick touching the toilet seat and it's impossible to pee all the way with the dick curved inside the bowl. And, if it's a public toilet, it's simply nasty.
It is completely possible to avoid splashing and noises and spreading pee around while peeing standing. Just aim slightly away from water, and if your aim is bad, clean whatever mess you could make.
Also, urinals are superior pissing devices and should be used when possible.
I go into a lot of fancy houses for work and some of them have urinals in some of their bathrooms, I'm always quite jealous about them when I see one, would definitely be nice to have (and that's coming from someone that sits to pee at home, but does experience some of the issues you describe).
I sit because I'm trans lol. And when the toilet is nasty, I squat and hover. I know they make stand-to-pee devices, but I'm just really not stoked about having to carry a piss-covered prosthetic all day.
Wouldn't you just wash it when you wash your hands? I guess that could be awkward in a public restroom though; don't mind me, just rinsing my piss funnel.
Maybe there's a market for a falsie with a compartment to hold your pee device, because nobody would think twice if your piss-covered prosthetic was between your legs, that's just guy stuff
Ever peed standing while wearing shorts? It's disgusting. Just sit down like a civilized person. Or clean the toilet yourself, properly, so you know how nasty it is to wipe away pee splatters all over the place from you and all other men who didn't sit down.
....is this the reason guys prefer longer shorts? So they don't feel the splashback of toilet water on their legs when they stand to pee? You guys don't care if it spashes back you just prefer to wear it all day obviously?
When I became the bathroom-cleaner in my household, I switched to sitting. It wasn't until I got my nose and eyeballs right down close to the floor and the toilet on a regular basis that I learned how bad the splashing situation really was.
My dickhole dipping into water or rubbing on random ceramic, as being unwanted, should be as uncontroversial as a bidet being the clearly ~only way to clean poop from a butt.
But here we are, "just use some paper to wipe it off" is not only a permanent standard in the US but apparently worth fighting over, in times of shortage lmao.
I broke my ankle four and a half years ago and it never healed correctly. Recently, though probably from the same incident, I also developed a spinal injury.
Even if being a recumbent urinator didn't just make sense from a cleanliness perspective, I would still be doing that these days.
So what, you expect people to just not use the urinals provided and instead wait 5 minutes for a stall to open up then have to clean the taco bell spray from the last guy in there before you can get your business done?
At night, sit. I don't want to clean that shit. Unless I'm pissing in the fridge, the light and cold air is nice.
P.S. I'm trying to donate a kidney and I needed to keep 24 hours of urine refrigerated. At night I figured there was no reason to take the jug to the bathroom.
Plus if I sit, I'm gonna fart. If I fart a little poop might join it, and if I start pooping I'm gonna be there a while. I've been a lifelong poop marker victim
Honestly, I've had a varied diet throughout my life. From mostly cheese, potatoes, and meat; to a balanced diet with whole grains, lots of leafy greens, very little animal products, and plenty of water. While the quality of my poops will improve with fiber, the speed will not. I've tried cleanses, an enema, squatty potty. I always wind up needing to sit for several minutes for things to work themselves out. It's been that way since at least my teenage years. If I start wiping prematurely, poop marker
Have you tried a stool to elevate your legs and put you closer to a squat? It really helps the movement down there. I know that poop marker thing you're talking about but i don't get it everytime, just on rare occasions.
But then you don't get to play the sinking and or stain cleaning game? That's one of the best parts of being a man!
I sit down sometimes when I'm tired or if I just wanna sit down and fuck around on my phone for a bit. Also at night! I love those no lights to not fuck up your sleep, sit down, take a piss, then quickly get back to bed without touching your phone or talking to anyone so you can hopefully go back to bed!
Both of my sons sit, I stand. I’m not sure what I did to deserve such considerate children as they just started doing it on their own before my oldest was even ten but bathroom upkeep was improved so much. I try to be conscious and careful and I still always wipe the rim with toilet paper after before I wash my hands unless the toilet is gross af.
I'm trans and I would sit down to avoid the dysphoria and inevitable dripping, but I had a magnum cock and would often suffer the witches' kiss, which sucked. Fortunately, I've had surgery, and now I have no genitals, so sitting to pee is less gross now.
I lived in a place where the lid wouldn't stay up on it's own so it was either sit or piss at a quarter squat or partially bent back to hold the lid up. I still pee sitting down most of the time. It's a better experience.
It's too small, maybe about half an inch or less. There isn't much else to explain. Stream often lands between the bowl and the seat and I don't realize it until it's too late
I... don't actually understand how to do that. I broke my back two decades ago, and no one ever told me after I healed I could move again the way I used to, so there are ways people understand how to move that I've just forgotten
I stand most of the time. I sit when exhausted or when i know my spray won't be good, or if I have gas I don't trust to be just gas. I've also been trying to get into the habit of sitting when at a woman's house/apartment. It just doesn't seem fair for me to make a mess with splashback, especially if they don't live with any men. Unless I'm doing some of the cleaning it seems more fair to just sit and get the business done that way. Plus this way I'll never leave the seat up.
I’ve have never heard of this happening when these memes come up so my wiener might be broke but I can’t pee sitting down. All of my pee won’t come out and I have to lean down and stretch my peen so it all comes out. If I don’t and stand up I’ll literally pee on the floor.
I scoot forward or slide back to get a finger down there if needed, usually scooting back and going in from the side of the package. If my business is done i can slide back far enough that my butthole is over the seat and spread pretty wide. When standing i got my pants and underwear in the way and gotta bend the knees and spread the thighs a bit to get a good angle while trying to aim that last squirt.
If you stand, even at the urinal, you need to learn where to aim. Don’t pee in the water because it will splash on your feet and lower pants. Aim for to side (inside the bowl) near to the water. Quiet and no splashing.
I really hate toilets that are designed so that you can’t do that. They have to be designed by sitters.
You're still getting piss out of the bowl if you're on the sides. Its not as drastic as the center but its still a stream hitting a fairly flat surface from a decent height.
The sides of most bowls slope downward steeply. I have heard about toilets in Europe that have a shelf on the inside so you can examine your poop before flushing. Is that what you are thinking of?
No I'm thinking a normal toilet. Maybe if you are on the shorter side you can get a more favorable angle but otherwise the piss stream hits the porcelain at a nearly perpendicular angle and sprays nearly everywhere. Not as drastically as in the water but enough i can sometimes feel the mist if I'm in shorts.
Have you tried bunching the dress up and tucking it under your arms to expose your bottom half? Not trying to judge just seems like that might be easier.
I can't help but imagine that there is some solution to peeing in a dress besides doing it while standing up, considering that dresses were traditionally worn by people who do not have cocks.
287 replies
I've been a devoted sitter for a while. If you stand, you are peeing on your floor. Maybe not a lot, maybe not even a perceptible amount on any individual trip, but definitely some, and over time, a lot. I'm of the opinion it's weird to pee on your own floor, and have been enthusiastically lambasted for this on multiple occasions. Some men for example find it unmanly. Which, putting aside for a moment the fact that there is no inherent correlation with manliness and goodness, is bullshit. Unless they stand to pee when pooping, they already pee sitting down on a regular basis. All I'm doing is increasing the frequency of seated micturation.
You're weird because apparently you don't clean your bathroom floors.
Sure, microscopic amounts of pee gets on the floor. Then, every couple of weeks you clean your bathroom.
You know that when you flush a toilet you aerosolize a bit of the contents and they drift out and land around the room too. Does that bother you?
That’s why you close the lid to flush… That absolutely bothers me, I wear retainers and they clean in a solution on the counter during the day. I don’t want pee on them or my toothbrush!
I'm sorry to tell you this but closing the lid doesn't stop viral aerosol contamination and it's been researched https://www.ajicjournal.org/article/S0196-6553(23)00820-9/fulltext
So, it doesn't stop it, but it definitely helps.
Every toilet I've seen has a big air gap under the seat even when the seat is down.
Every mask I've worn during covid had gaps all around as well
You were wearing it wrong.
Which is why only an N95 or similar has any benefit for the wearer.
Closing the lid makes zero difference.
I guess I would just say that I feel the acceptable amount for one to pee on their own floor willfully is none. Flushing may present a new issue after the fact, but I can't see a way around flushing. I can however see a way around electing to pee in a sloppy manner because I'm lazy. Though arguably sitting is famously more comfortable than standing, so perhaps impatient would be more accurate than lazy.
There is one, embrace the sink. Become a sink pisser, it's just like a pissoir which you wash your hands and face in!
Nobody's talking about willfully peeing on the floor, we're only talking about microscopic amounts of pee mist that could drift away from the stream when you're peeing from 50 cm from the bowl instead of 10 cm from the bowl.
by your own logic, why bother using the toilet, or even having one? Just pee on the floor like a real man. I mean you clean it anyways.
The frequency of cleaning should presumably be proportional to the amount of piss and other unwanted substances making their way onto the floor
I just don't want to piss on other peoples floor. Its one thing to piss on my floor and for me to clean it up, its another thing to piss on someone elses floor and expect them to clean it up.
So, don't piss on other people's floors. Aim better. You can still do that while standing up.
AOE/Splash damage 🤷
If that escapes the bowl, you're doing it wrong.
Maybe. If only my urethra would mimick those fancy handmade Japanese tea pots.
Every couple of WEEKS?
Yes?
If you stay seated it’s just your legs that get aerosolized and that’s even easier to wash
Unless you take a bath / shower immediately after using the toilet, you're then walking around with a thin coating of waste on you all day.
If you're not using a bidet, or wetting up your toilet paper before wiping with it, that happens, anyway.
Like you don't do that just by living.
You guys should never check out videos about how many bacteria and way worse stuff that lives on us, in our ears and so on lol.
I mean, I'm usually a sitter but sometimes there's a knot in my back that, well when it relaxes it uncorks the damn dam. Sometimes you gotta do calisthenics to get the juices flowing
A lot of short kings don't have this issue.
If you're a taller dude, not only do you get backsplash on the floor, but on your legs as well.
You either have to piss straight into the water which is just an obnoxious sound, or you piss on the porcelain and get backsplash.
If you dont believe me, pour some water into a cup normally, and pour some water into a cup from 30cm higher.
Totally. Which highlights another aspect of seated superiority: effort. Peeing while seated is absolutely fool proof. Absolutely no focus required. Why concentrate when you can day dream? And it never goes wrong. You're never surprised. Post sex, drunk, in complete darkness, tou never miss, ever.
Just lean over the toilet tf
Skill issue
As a man, I don't justify my choice of peeing positions to anyone. I sit or stand if I want to, and anyone who doesn't like it can fuck off and take their opinions with them.
I too am pro-choice
Sir, please don't sit in the urinal.
Is this not a free country?
Which country?
I've worked in one of those oldhead machine shops where they deliberately don't have any chairs in the work area because "if you're not standing you're not working." You bet I sat my ass down on the toilet instead of using the urinal.
Sit at home stand in public toilets
Yeah i stand at public toilet too and i always clean the shitstains in the public toilet with my pee
Society appreciates you for your invaluable service!
I wouldn't, I don't want to release people's fecal particles into the air while I'm standing there. I find a clean toilet or I go to a different bathroom
Legend says his ghost still wanders, searching for a clean public toilet, so his spirit may finally be at peace.
That's what the great outdoors used to be for, but now there are cameras everywhere so I can't take a pissful peace anymore. I mean a peaceful piss.
Wouldn't your feet get wet?
Not when you do a handstand.
Wouldn't your hands get wet?
That's when you use your pee to propel yourself.
Wouldn't your pee get wet?
Oops ESL moment. We call the whole room toilet in german xD
Your English was fine, they were being intentionally obtuse.
They're German, they don't understand humor :(
No splashback.
No aiming.
Sometimes the tip touches the bowl and you feel like you should get tested..... even at home.....
Dafuq
If you've never had that happen then be glad. But I wonder if you have a big toilet or small pp
Don't know how the toilets work in your country/neck of the woods, but 'round here there's a good 8-10 inches clearance between the water and my ass. I ain't hung like a fuckin donkey.
The tip touches the cheramic inside of the bowl in the upper part of the toilet, not the water
In bathrooms built before 2000 are all too short my tall ass. In the summers my balls would touch the water cuz it is so hot.
It usually isn't the water, it's the bowl in front
Probably both
Sitting down is also more quiet. Just dip the tip in the water and go for it.
Ah yes the lemonade percolator, classic.
Wait what? How full does your bowl get???
You're asking the wrong question
There's a very specific tuck you have to perform to prevent that while not stopping the stream. The struggle is real.
:(
Sit home, stand elsewhere
Sitter here.
I have toddlers, twins. They get mesmerised by the laminar flow in the wee and try to grab it.
I guess before I had kids I would wonder why the kids are present for this event but toddlers are super busy, super active, and super curious. You can be watching them juggle knives in the kitchen or whatever and decide to just take a moment to go wee and slink away and they just kinda teleport to your location and try to grab your wee stream.
If you're sitting then you have both hands available to fend off curious hands.
The one trick that I rely on multiple times a day is redirection. "Don't touch daddies wee" translates to "daddies wee is super interesting". However, "Look at this amazing square of toilet paper" is received more or less as stated.
You're lucky they put the knives down before grabbing. Or not, I don't know your circumstances.
As an owner of girlcock, i do pee while sitting, unless i have to use public restroom, then i pee standing. Public toilets are way to creepy and gross for me to touch them.
girlcock solidarity ✊️
I was kind of pressured by my girlfriend to sit, and in the beginning I didn't like it because I felt pressured. However, after sitting for a while, I discovered that it's absolutely the best choice. When you're sitting, you can empty your bladder more. You're comfortable, you're resting, and you don't have to aim. You don't have to do anything. You're just sitting there, emptying your bladder.
Urinators of the world unite! You have nothing to lose, but your pants! ✊
My wife got me to sit too lol. I had never really considered it before, but I'm never going back, unless it's a public bathroom
I always hear people say this but I have the opposite. I can sit, pee and finish, then stand up, turn around and magically pee a few cl more :-/
I've been seeing a girl recently and been trying to sit rather than stand. She owns her own home alone so to me it feels very rude to piss all over the floor and seat, even if its just a drop or two that gets away from the bowl. If i wanna stand so badly I'll just go with her dogs in the yard.
I'm pretty sure she won't like you shitting in the yard with the dogs.
I doubt she'd want me standing to that on the toilet either so standing shits are unfortunately delegated to the bathtub and waffle stomp treatment
Grandpappy always said, if a lady doesn't appreciate a good wafflestomp, then she isn't worth keeping.
He also insisted Jesus told him aspirin and bacon fat enemas were the cure for cancer, so take his advice at your own peril.
Well the bacon fat does help the aspirin slide in so it makes sense to me.
Yeah, I sit when I pee.
Target practice
After moving into my own house as a teen, I always sit at home. I'm the dude who has to clean the washroom.
At a public place with a urinal, I'll stand. I always feel weird sitting on it.
I pee sitting. I also wipe sitting.
People who stand to wipe are the real weirdos in my book.
I was stand wiper as a kid cause i never knew any better i guess. Someone told me you could reach around and clean before the cheeks close together and it blew my mind and I've never looked back.
Same. It's so obvious once you do it.
Sit wiping is for casual easy going wiping.
If we're getting serious, I'm gonna be standing up and spreading the cheeks with one hand.
Sometimes on hot days I'll just go into a bathroom and give it a good swipe, just to clear the ass sweat out.
Well that's just good hygiene
You're a good person. Blessings.
I usually just try to spread cheek on the toilet, using the seat to lock the spread in place
It's all in the technique
I would do the same but if its a wipe intense situation I just get a lot more done standing.
Do you count the Waddle of Shame? I don't count the Waddle of Shame, it's much less intentional.
This is gonna sound.. ok... Here goes.. I cannot sit. My penis is so long it hits the bowl. When I poop, I have to hold it up.
I'm not kidding when I say a "big dick" is not fun. It REALLY is not.
So many examples of it not being fun.....
I have actually found that the American ones are filled way too high with water. Like mostly full it's crazy.
So while I'm not a big guy myself I've had a couple really unwelcome dips while sitting down on what are, imho, overfilled bowls.
What I usually do is take a bit of toilet paper and sort of use my hand to park the kit under my butt cheek.
I dunno, I feel like there should be a class for this because now I wonder if I'm doing it wrong.
If this is a toilet that belongs to you, you can adjust the water level in the bowl by changing the valve in the tank so the bowl fills slower and is more shallow when the tank is filled..
You are blowing my mind right now... And I've actually installed a toilet.
What is the advantage of having them this full? Avoiding streaks?
I'm not sure, maybe it seems more hygienic?
Ah check, good point :-)
I find the only advantage of having a big dick is the confidence that comes from having a big dick in a society that values that. Everything else is a pain in the ass.
This is me not feeling sorry for you in the least
Fair enough
This is gonna sound ... ok ... Here goes: I cannot sit. I got too fat and now my penis looks like a little acorn that points forward. If I sit to pee, it'll splash directly out through the gap under the seat.
I really need to lose weight, if only so I can get my length back, and not have to tuck it down while cursing what I've allowed to happen with my body.
Oh wait. Yeah. I just tuck it down. Then sitting is fine.
Please disregard the above message.
Yeah, but if you forget and don't tuck, pee goes in your jeans.
Solidarity, fellow acorn bro.
I had to scroll through dozens of comments to get here
Worst feeling ever, touching the bowl. I stand too
Boo hoo
Is your name Biggus by any chance?
Well, no but I do have a friend who is called Biggus. He's married to Incontinentia Buttocks
Just pull above the seat ...
Humble brag?
Not really, truly no woman wants it (hurts, cannot ever fully "go for it" always have to hold back.)
So no, be glad with regular. Please.
This man needs to shit more
...standing.
Maybe he’s secretly a woman. Everyone knows women don’t poop!
I sit to pee but stand to shit
Edit:
You're shitting right now, aren't you rex
That a coloplast or hollister? I have a soft spot in my skull for convatec products personally.
It’s a no name brand I got from Bezo’s outlet. Ran out of my coloplast free samples and it’s oddly hard to buy bags without insurance.
i mean they're the standard expensive as fuck price, but i've made some orders through byram healthcare that i paid cash for.
I've also seen my preferred equipment on the bezobazaar for the same price, so i use them as my emergency supplier. if you're having trouble getting supplies let me know - a former coworker now owns and runs a medical supply/equipment store and between the three of us we can figure something out. absolutely don't want you running out of equipment.
Appreciate the offer g - I think my big thing right now is finding a bag/system that I like. I really struggle with getting them to stay on! It’s hotter than heck outside and I sweat like a stuck pig/am reluctant to shave my belly hair.
Oh I shave every time. It helps. I get two more days between changes if I shave around my ileostomy. Then I wash with Neutrogena soap afters. I use the two piece convatec surfit natura. The moldable durahesive is expensive as fuck, but I can get a week between changes.
Also finding the right skin barrier is essential. I use smith&nephew. The ones on the lollipop are great but really expensive. I haven't found an insurance willing to pay for them.
The one important and overlooked thing is making sure you don't use fabric softener on your towels. Also use a brand new (like, fresh out of the cabinet/laundry) towel. Don't want oils from your skin/shampoo/whatever somehow getting on your towel and then hands and then giving your glue a worse adhesion.
You have a name for your stoma? Mine is Elmo. Because he's little, red, and annoying.
This is a pisspost not a shitpost
Depends what I'm doing. Escaping work? Sit. Half asleep? Sit. Just trying to get shit done but I'm having this annoying ass interruption? Stand. Watering the graves of assholes? Stand. Anything else is basically sit. Oh except gross toilets you really don't want to touch.
Sitting for a midnight piss makes it a lot easier for me to get back to sleep.
Plus you might not have to turn on the lights which helps a lot to go back to bed.
I know this is in my future, but I ain't fallen back asleep on the can at 2am yet
Sitting down takes longer. IMO it also flows more easily if I'm standing. I'll sit if I'm tired, or half-asleep, or whatever. I'll stand most of the time to get it over with faster.
it depends, if you need to poop the pressure and relaxtion makes it easier.
Oh, so you don't poop standing up?
Do you have a cloaca?
Yes, why do you ask?
if you're a bird or lizard.
Sitting is not only superior, it's also optimal for proper urination. This is not my opinion. A pelvic PT professional told me this. I only stand rarely. Mostly when I'm in a public restroom with a urinal.
I agree: peeing while in line really keeps things moving 🫡
I can tell you exactly when I started sitting to pee. The day after I took over the bathroom cleaning chore.
Sit at home, stand in public
Don... do you pee just once a day?
He also shits standing up.
Plant your feet firmly on the ground, a little wider than shoulder width. Put your head between your knees. Now try to tell me loafs don't pinch easier in that pose
I do like to sit, but it's a lot harder to get those last few drops out. Sometimes I think I'm all good and then I stand up just to have a few more drops get pushed out right into my pants or underwear. That is definitely not elite.
No matter how you shake and dance, the last few drops fall on your pants.
Stand and dab with toilet paper
And push on the underside right where your balls are attached.
Warning: this works reliably until you're about 45. Then it doesn't quite finish the job anymore.
For me it's not just a few drops, I can genuinely pee a few cl extra when I stand up, so I never feel quite empty when I sit down to pee.
I suspect this is more about the movement. I'm interested to know how it compares if you pee standing, but then sit immediately after.
Anatomically, the sitting position should provide a better path to emptying the bladder, and there are several comments here saying the opposite to you.
I think the very best for emptying is pee sitting, then stand, sit back down, and see if any more will come out.
When standing up it's definitely harder to get the last drops out. Sitting is easy as fuck, just use TP. On urinals there is no TP, so can't get rid of the last 1-2 drops. Never have that problem when sitting due to TP.
Or how about: don't shame anyone about how they prefer to pee, as long as they leave a clean toilet afterwards?
Absolutely stand.
Sitting has a number of problems, for me it's mainly dick touching the toilet seat and it's impossible to pee all the way with the dick curved inside the bowl. And, if it's a public toilet, it's simply nasty.
It is completely possible to avoid splashing and noises and spreading pee around while peeing standing. Just aim slightly away from water, and if your aim is bad, clean whatever mess you could make.
Also, urinals are superior pissing devices and should be used when possible.
The only time big dick and little dick men share a problem.
I go into a lot of fancy houses for work and some of them have urinals in some of their bathrooms, I'm always quite jealous about them when I see one, would definitely be nice to have (and that's coming from someone that sits to pee at home, but does experience some of the issues you describe).
You do know they make big dick toilets, right? Lots of room for dangle.
I sit to pee at home. Out in the wild no fuckin' way.
The only downside to sitting is that sometimes I end up pissing through the gap between the toilet and the seat all over my own pants.
When in doubt press it down. Thats what i do when going with a chubb.
But then you risk your peepee touching the edge and even potentially pissing between the seat and toilet.
If your coordination is that bad, how are you supposed to pee in bowl while standing!?
Easier to aim with a hose while holding it...
You can also do that while sitting.
I sit because it's less stressful and more healthy for my prostate.
how?
The 3 fingers, mostly.
It allows your prostate to fully relax due to being in a sitting or squatting position.
I sit down when I pee
There's nothing that crazy bout me
I'm just taking a whiz
Mind your own biz
Why is everybody always staring at me?
Are you thrown for a loop?
When I stand up to poop?
Must you give me the biz
Cuz I sit down to whiz?
Whether peepee or poopoo
They'll think that you're kookoo
So best to just own it and do you.
I sit because I'm trans lol. And when the toilet is nasty, I squat and hover. I know they make stand-to-pee devices, but I'm just really not stoked about having to carry a piss-covered prosthetic all day.
Oh, I didn't know about that! Still gonna pass on using them because I don't like disposable waste products, but thanks for the info.
Wouldn't you just wash it when you wash your hands? I guess that could be awkward in a public restroom though; don't mind me, just rinsing my piss funnel.
Maybe there's a market for a falsie with a compartment to hold your pee device, because nobody would think twice if your piss-covered prosthetic was between your legs, that's just guy stuff
I just submerge. What's this sit/stand nonsense?
I wear a stil suit, i walk
I find a corner of the yard not too visible and disrobe before I pee
Same, except I spin around 3-5 times (depends on the weather) and always be sure to face magnetic north.
Sitting is medically better for your prostate.
I mostly sit but I think the downsides are downplayed.
In my old age of creeping towards 40 my stream has died down a little, but no splash ?
There is splash. Even with my pathetic old man pressure there is splash. It doesn't go on the floor. it goes on my thighs and under the toilet seat.
Before when I was young and virile it was a big issue and very uncomfortable to veeeeeery gently let a portion of my stream out over a long time.
There's also the issue of not accidentally booping the porcelain with the tip.
Granted its nice to have a sit down alone, and with measures taken it can even be nice, but its not a clear cut winner.
Also peeing freely outside is of course the best. Or from something very high up.
Im not interested in getting pee splash on my pants, shoes and floor for macho points.
I'm at work now but when I get home I will shatter the sit to pee/stand to pee binary. I will lay down to pee and achieve enlightenment.
I sit down when I pee
There's nothing that crazy 'bout me
I'm just takin' a whiz, mind your own biz
Why is everybody always staring at me?
Hey bro, I gotta go
Let me through, I gotta go number two
No can do, I'm taking a pee
Sitting on the loo, having a good long wee
Are you sitting down?
I'm sitting down
And you're not making brown?
I'm not making brown
Are you making iced tea?
Just lemonade
But are you sitting down?
I'm sitting down!
Why don't you stand like a regular man?
Then you can pee in the urinal can
If you really wanna know why I'm sitting strong
I just can't stand touching my dong
Why did I hear Eminem's voice shouting this?
Eminem & Dre. Eminem is the one sitting down to pee. Dre has to go number two.
What? Surely this is Dizzee Rascal?
https://youtu.be/Ci40ae8BlcE
Standing is just gross. Pee mists everywhere, even if you have perfect aim. All around the toilet and the wall and floor near it.
And if you need proof of this, visit the house of a bachelor that never cleans.
Sitting unless I'm in the forest.
Uh we have a shower
Ever peed standing while wearing shorts? It's disgusting. Just sit down like a civilized person. Or clean the toilet yourself, properly, so you know how nasty it is to wipe away pee splatters all over the place from you and all other men who didn't sit down.
Sitting down is also much more relaxing.
....is this the reason guys prefer longer shorts? So they don't feel the splashback of toilet water on their legs when they stand to pee? You guys don't care if it spashes back you just prefer to wear it all day obviously?
... its not toilet water thats splashing
It's pee that splashes back, and no, short shorts look stupid. I prefer longer shorts even though I sit down.
When I became the bathroom-cleaner in my household, I switched to sitting. It wasn't until I got my nose and eyeballs right down close to the floor and the toilet on a regular basis that I learned how bad the splashing situation really was.
I don't have much choice
With what I've done to my dick, I couldn't hit a bathtub
Helicoptering like a loose garden hose
w... w-what have you done to your dick?
I have a 10mm Prince Albert
That's .... impressive, [email protected] 😆
Yes, it is
It is whatever one wants at the moment. Standing up is quick, sitting is getting your peace time.
He pees for ninety seconds?!
Fun fact I read and never verified: mammals pee for about 20 seconds. Elephants have bigger bladders but they can evacuate faster w bigger equipment
That is one a third of a gallon of piss.
You’re all wrong. The only proper way is to sit down in reverse. It gives you direct access to the funnel, zero chance of missing.
Plus you can use the back of the toilet as a little table for your snacks
I see that you too, are a watcher of South Park. Good day to you sir!
If I had a urinal at home I would stand but I don’t so I sit unless I’m public
My dick dips into the toilet water if I sit to pee.
My dickhole dipping into water or rubbing on random ceramic, as being unwanted, should be as uncontroversial as a bidet being the clearly ~only way to clean poop from a butt.
But here we are, "just use some paper to wipe it off" is not only a permanent standard in the US but apparently worth fighting over, in times of shortage lmao.
Dude needs to drink more water of he's only peeing once a day.
Personally I typically only sit at night when I'm tired and don't want to turn the lights on
I like to read a paragraph or two so I take any chance I can get to sit down and read the ol bathroom book
I broke my ankle four and a half years ago and it never healed correctly. Recently, though probably from the same incident, I also developed a spinal injury.
Even if being a recumbent urinator didn't just make sense from a cleanliness perspective, I would still be doing that these days.
Sit and I actively hate people who don't in public spaces. Nobody aims good enough for that.
So what, you expect people to just not use the urinals provided and instead wait 5 minutes for a stall to open up then have to clean the taco bell spray from the last guy in there before you can get your business done?
The drunker or sleepier I am, the more likely I am to sit.
stand unless i also have to poop
Then you do handstands. Don't be embarrassed, embrace your quirks
Only time I pee standing up is if I'm outside or I'm at work and have zero time to waste
Sit at home, stand at work. My daughter would reach through my legs and try to grab the stream so it’s just habit now.
At night, sit. I don't want to clean that shit. Unless I'm pissing in the fridge, the light and cold air is nice.
P.S. I'm trying to donate a kidney and I needed to keep 24 hours of urine refrigerated. At night I figured there was no reason to take the jug to the bathroom.
I've turned too old.... If I sit not all comes out and I have to go again an hour later.
It sucks.
My doctor tells me it's that I'm just getting older.... I'm mid 40.
So standing is the only really effective way to pee for me now sadly
Same
Plus if I sit, I'm gonna fart. If I fart a little poop might join it, and if I start pooping I'm gonna be there a while. I've been a lifelong poop marker victim
Fiber is your friend
Scissors and an orifice cap are better friends
Honestly, I've had a varied diet throughout my life. From mostly cheese, potatoes, and meat; to a balanced diet with whole grains, lots of leafy greens, very little animal products, and plenty of water. While the quality of my poops will improve with fiber, the speed will not. I've tried cleanses, an enema, squatty potty. I always wind up needing to sit for several minutes for things to work themselves out. It's been that way since at least my teenage years. If I start wiping prematurely, poop marker
Have you tried a stool to elevate your legs and put you closer to a squat? It really helps the movement down there. I know that poop marker thing you're talking about but i don't get it everytime, just on rare occasions.
Yep, the ol squatty potty. I love me a low toilet. Those ADA tall boys are for the birds. I just have a rebellious colon. I call him Fred
Aiming is a minigame and hardcorr difficulty is carpet.
The Final Boss
I chimney up the stall about halfway and drop that deuce like a mountain goat.
Sit at home on my Japanese toilet with a heated seat, stand everywhere else. Heated toilet seat is blissful.
Stand when you just need to get it done. Sit for a luxury piss
if you stand and pee, one thing you can do is pull back your "skin" so it doesnt spray everywhere
I can't imagine most uncut dudes just spray and pray
As someone without foreskin I never thought about this.
the urine can get trapped between the foreskin before exiting, depends how loose your skin is.
Unless you're circumcised
I literally do not care how people pee and it’s strange to me that others do.
But then you don't get to play the sinking and or stain cleaning game? That's one of the best parts of being a man!
I sit down sometimes when I'm tired or if I just wanna sit down and fuck around on my phone for a bit. Also at night! I love those no lights to not fuck up your sleep, sit down, take a piss, then quickly get back to bed without touching your phone or talking to anyone so you can hopefully go back to bed!
There comes a time in a man's life when sitting down on the toilet means your carry-on might meet an unexpected water landing.
North American? Water in toilets there is way higher than anywhere else in the world I've been.
That's because we consume far too much carbs and meat, so we take big American shits. We need that water, or the shit will win.
* Posted from my toilet using Boost for Android.
That's a long-ass piss.
Better than a long ass-piss.
Weiner touching porcelain:
hot dog on a fancy plate ✅
sitting down to pee 🤢
I don't want to bother putting my pants down and sitting down and standing up just to pee. Too much bother
Sit crew here. I just do it because I'm a lazy turd and a chair is a chair, I'm sitting.
Thank you! I've been saying this for years. Any toilet can be a chair and any chair can be a toilet.
Both of my sons sit, I stand. I’m not sure what I did to deserve such considerate children as they just started doing it on their own before my oldest was even ten but bathroom upkeep was improved so much. I try to be conscious and careful and I still always wipe the rim with toilet paper after before I wash my hands unless the toilet is gross af.
I'm trans and I would sit down to avoid the dysphoria and inevitable dripping, but I had a magnum cock and would often suffer the witches' kiss, which sucked. Fortunately, I've had surgery, and now I have no genitals, so sitting to pee is less gross now.
Depends if it's a Dutch shelf toilet
What is that? How do you sit? Does the log sit steaming on the flat side until you flush?
You sit like a normal person with your face away from the toilet block.
And yes. This wonderful Dutch design allows you to inspect your work before assigning it to the dark depths of sewage.
They’re both correct. Only difference is the moment.
Sit when hungover or at night Stand any other time
I thought the comments were going to be how weird this bathroom's layout is. They're just looking at each other pee....
to assert dominance.
The sitter is really eager and the stander is pinching their dick off in rapid.jmtervals.
If I am only going to urinate and the place has a urinal, stand. Else, sit.
I lived in a place where the lid wouldn't stay up on it's own so it was either sit or piss at a quarter squat or partially bent back to hold the lid up. I still pee sitting down most of the time. It's a better experience.
Also, I get to fuss my cats who come in the rub around my legs.
if I sit, the pee will go trough the space between the seat and the WC's mainframe, unless I point it down.
It's great as long as you don't pee perfectly forward and don't realize it until you're standing up in a pool of pee.
No matter what I try, this just happens sometimes, so sitting or standing are both awful
How does that happen? You point your dick straight down and the stream decides to shoot out at a 90 degree angle?
It's too small, maybe about half an inch or less. There isn't much else to explain. Stream often lands between the bowl and the seat and I don't realize it until it's too late
So you tilt your hips down? That's how you direct pee with a vulva.
I... don't actually understand how to do that. I broke my back two decades ago, and no one ever told me after I healed I could move again the way I used to, so there are ways people understand how to move that I've just forgotten
Touching your own pp is gay, apparently
Amen
I want to sit, but I stand because, idk why but I don't pee all the pee
I sit. It's comfortable, and you don't need to clean up any messes from splashback.
There are a few medical studies that promote sitting because the muscles men use to urinate relax more while sitting.
"Did you work out today?"
you know I did
12.000 years human civilization and you still pee like Ötzi. Some things improved since then. Consider it brother.
I stand most of the time. I sit when exhausted or when i know my spray won't be good, or if I have gas I don't trust to be just gas. I've also been trying to get into the habit of sitting when at a woman's house/apartment. It just doesn't seem fair for me to make a mess with splashback, especially if they don't live with any men. Unless I'm doing some of the cleaning it seems more fair to just sit and get the business done that way. Plus this way I'll never leave the seat up.
I’ve have never heard of this happening when these memes come up so my wiener might be broke but I can’t pee sitting down. All of my pee won’t come out and I have to lean down and stretch my peen so it all comes out. If I don’t and stand up I’ll literally pee on the floor.
Leaning forward is easier for your bladder to empty.
Sitting also gives better access to push on the part between the balls and butthole which can reduce post piss drippage.
I feel like standing helps with that more because you aren't confined by the size of the bowl.
I scoot forward or slide back to get a finger down there if needed, usually scooting back and going in from the side of the package. If my business is done i can slide back far enough that my butthole is over the seat and spread pretty wide. When standing i got my pants and underwear in the way and gotta bend the knees and spread the thighs a bit to get a good angle while trying to aim that last squirt.
I hope the username is related.
If you stand, even at the urinal, you need to learn where to aim. Don’t pee in the water because it will splash on your feet and lower pants. Aim for to side (inside the bowl) near to the water. Quiet and no splashing.
I really hate toilets that are designed so that you can’t do that. They have to be designed by sitters.
You're still getting piss out of the bowl if you're on the sides. Its not as drastic as the center but its still a stream hitting a fairly flat surface from a decent height.
The sides of most bowls slope downward steeply. I have heard about toilets in Europe that have a shelf on the inside so you can examine your poop before flushing. Is that what you are thinking of?
No I'm thinking a normal toilet. Maybe if you are on the shorter side you can get a more favorable angle but otherwise the piss stream hits the porcelain at a nearly perpendicular angle and sprays nearly everywhere. Not as drastically as in the water but enough i can sometimes feel the mist if I'm in shorts.
Have you tried bunching the dress up and tucking it under your arms to expose your bottom half? Not trying to judge just seems like that might be easier.
I can't help but imagine that there is some solution to peeing in a dress besides doing it while standing up, considering that dresses were traditionally worn by people who do not have cocks.
If they don't have cocks, then they probably don't have balls, which means they have nowhere to store their pee and therefore never have to pee.
Nope less energy and it's easy to finish up and run. It was engineered that way for a reason.
All healthy mammals take 25 seconds to urinate. 90 is somewhat concerning.
I mean that sounds about right but then I'm sure bladder sizes vary
I think if anyone did the research on this, they'd find that showers are okay with sitting but growers absolutely need to stand.