Enters person putting uncrustables in a slap chop. One slap, and your ready for the next sandwich. (I don't actually do this, but it does sound like it'd fit)
I always enjoy it when I post a silly joke and the first two people misunderstand it, and then the rest of humanity sees a negative number, so they don't even give it the benefit of the doubt anymore and just toss their -1 into there for good measure.
Like, it's sad that the post went to waste, but I don't care how far into the negative it is. At that point, a large negative number just amuses me.
Yeah, I am anti-/s. I feel like using /s is explaining the joke. If people can read the tone great, but I definitely have some negative scores here and there, and it is what it is, I won't abandon my principles.
This is online discourse. You're supposed to be a voice for the hive-mind narrative. We will cleanse the forum from your pollution and discord and make it join our harmony. I am a voice in their choir.
I was not expecting to get into pineapple pizza so much as an adult. First of all, there aren't many pizzas I'd turn down anyway. But pineapple is fucking amazing. The sweetness and acidity marries perfectly with rich, melty cheese, just like marinara does. And I beg to differ on the garlic: I like a sauce that bites back.
I experimented heavily with pineapple pizza until I found out I had an extreme allergy to gluten. The sauce loves some garlic but, if you really want garlic, just toss some diced garlic on top of the pizza with a drizzle of olive oil before you bake. It comes out perfect at 550 for 5-6 minutes on a pizza stone or 450 for 8-10? (I can’t remember anymore, I shifted to the former). Buuuuut, that’s how I learned that the two flavors clash when they’re too strong. A piece of pineapple with an adjacent medium to medium-well garlic is not a pleasant combo.
Also how I found out that Italian small leaf basil and pineapple is literally a perfect combo, always. I’m making a basil pineapple salad tomorrow!
university of vermont, this article links to it but the link has gone dead. I presume if you wrote to the culinary department they could dig it up on some old hard drive
so there was some kind of casual study that showed people tend to take smaller bites of diagonally cut sandwiches. do not ask me to give a source, Dan Pashman mentioned it on his James Beard Award winning podcast The Sporkful.
Side note: The Sporkful is best known for its ongoing debate about whether or not a hodog is a sandwich
How do you even cut a sandwich horizontally?? The slices of bread are alreadly separated from each other! On what reference do they consider the cutting plane?
A horizontal cut is pretty easy. Usually it's easier than the vertical cut. Sliding the knife between the meat and the liquidy toppings gets you a nice, smooth path through. Then just lift the cut portion away from the bottom portion, and enjoy your sandwich.*
*One may have to fold the sandwich like you do a piece of bread around a hot dog, but don't worry, it's just part of the process.
I can definitely see why OP would stand by their statement about people who cut sandwiches horizontally.
Cutting a sandwich 'along the middle' is still considered a vertical cut, just along a different plane. Same as cutting corner to corner. Vertical but on a plane that isn't orthogonal to the major XYZ axes.
People who cut crusts off toast are so weird. Some bread actually has crusts that are kind of hard, I can see why someone might want to cut it off (even though I think the crust is usually the best part). But toast? maybe useful for the visual presentation, but even then I'd just eat the crust separately.
That's pretty cool and very kind of you. But I was exaggerating, though it does hit me more than it should.
But cognitively I know it's usually not that big of a deal. Sometimes the way I communicated is an issue, or somebody interpreted it wrong, or they are having a bad day, being unreasonable, or I just straight up made a mistake. It could be so many things.
I find this article pretty useful for anyone who might struggle with this and rejection in general:
For me, it really depends on my mentality, but for the most part, I have the sneaking suspicion that if you're not occasionally downvoted, then you're doing something wrong.
Like, you do not have to be a flawless member of the Hive Mind. It is okay to think for yourself and have your own opinions, you know?
The one time I noticed I got downvoted on Lemmy was because I was stupid, and somehow that makes it much more tolerable. Like, I'm happy less people read that shit
What is in the sandwich determines if you cut it diagonally. Tuna/chicken/egg salad sandwiches shouldn't be cut diagonally because everything falls out.
If it's a mostly wet filling like those you'e mentioned, the cut isn't what's making it fall out of the sandwich. Those tend to get pushed out the back and sides even without cutting it. Especially if it's got a lot of if in there.
yeah this is my problem with this whole argument - too many sandwiches suffer from any cutting. build it, give it a good smoosh then use the bread to pinch in the ingredients that want to slide around like tomatoes or pickles.
but, I do recognize, I'm way too serious about sandwiches lol
I genuinely don't give a fuck about internet points. I've seen a bunch of perfectly reasonable takes get downvoted into oblivion and a bunch of dogshit comments get hundreds of votes. People who adjust their opinions based on updoots need to go outside unironically.
Depends on the sandwich orientation when cutting. If you lay the sandwich side to side then cutting across the short length is vertical. Laying the sandwich so it's point away from you would make that cut horizontal.
I mean... he's an actor. There's a person on payroll for props for a reason. Should every actor in Breaking Bad have stopped to make sure it wasn't real ricin they were handling? lmfao
Personally, I prefer the time-tested tradition of r/NotOpButOkay
You avoid wasting more time on pointless flamewars that way. If someone else shares the same opinion, they can tap-in if they feel like it. A short of pay-it-forward comment style lol
Predictably, PieFed has that option that Lemmy lacks.
Although if used for every comment then perhaps better to simply not post the comment in the first place - it's fairly antisocial behavior to talk but not to listen.
I'll keep these hot takes coming yo. I went to europe because people keep raving aboot bread in europe and people say Toronto has bad bread or something but neither I nor my partner could taste much of a difference when comparing breads from actual bakeries.
I will go down in a blaze of glory for my convictions. been banned from a few places for them. really don't give a shit about what others think, just as long as I make them think.
after all if you can't stand by your convictions, what can you stand for?
A sandwich is already cut horizontally dumb ass.
Enters person putting uncrustables in a slap chop. One slap, and your ready for the next sandwich. (I don't actually do this, but it does sound like it'd fit)
You’ll love my nuts.
Thanks SatansMaggotyCumFart
Freeze it first and we’ve got a deal.
Why are we freezing slap chops...
The sandwich: 🌭
That’s a taco.
Soup
Tacos are a flatbread sandwich.
No hot dogs and the old-style subway cut are both tacos.
Cube Rule of food is dumb, tacos require a tortilla.
Both? Both is good. Hot dogs are tacos which are a subset of sandwiches? Tacos just have one piece of bread instead of two.
Only in one dimension. It needs to be cut in all 3.
There aren't three dimensions in the horizontal dimension.
I cut mine in the 4th dimension
Its an open-faced timelike curve.
Time is a flat circle.
Then why does it cast a spherical shadow?
So like an Uncrustable.
Mobius sandwich
Like a pizza.
That's a pizza.
a pizza is a bunch of triangles made to form a circle in a square box. PICK A GEOMETRIC LANE.
Your sandwich is all wibbly wobbly.
That's nothing; I cut mine in the Age of Aquarius!
Hope you wore a hair net.
Buckaroo Banh Mi over here...
Well yeah, time exists.
There's no other way to cut a sandwich but in the 4th dimension. Otherwise you'll be standing around all day waiting.
How many dimensions are available in the horizontal dimension? Are we running low on dimensions?
4D time cube?
Two and it’s been cut on both already.
I thought string theory/n theory told us there were 10 or 11 dimensions? I haven't figured out the implications on sandwich manifold topology.
What if you turn it vertically then cut it horizontally?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯Based!!
I don't see what the problem is.
Is that a giant penis in the background?
Edit - shit I thought I was replying to the main post...
Are you perchance suffering from peniledolia?
I certainly hope so
i think it's called 'phalladolia'
Thanks, I have learned another word to lavishly apply in everyday conversations!
Are u a top or bottom sandwich? 😳
(凸 and 凹 mean top and bottom in Chinese/Japanese)
I'm a bottom :>
That one bite from the middle is going to be super satisfying.
Who lays down to cut a sandwich? How does that even work?
Nonono, they mean cutting with the broad side of the knife
I always enjoy it when I post a silly joke and the first two people misunderstand it, and then the rest of humanity sees a negative number, so they don't even give it the benefit of the doubt anymore and just toss their
-1into there for good measure.Like, it's sad that the post went to waste, but I don't care how far into the negative it is. At that point, a large negative number just amuses me.
Yeah, I am anti-/s. I feel like using /s is explaining the joke. If people can read the tone great, but I definitely have some negative scores here and there, and it is what it is, I won't abandon my principles.
I think it's fair if it's really not obvious at all but yeah kinda ruins the joke a lot of the time
tagged sarcasm is akin to /joke
or lolololol
or hahahahah
JUST FUCKING OWN YOUR WIT
Also a bunch of laughing emojis put in a written joke are kind of like telling the joke and adding "you should laugh here".
i know right lol
Thank you for your service.
Get yourself a server with no downvotes. It is the wave of the future.
This is online discourse. You're supposed to be a voice for the hive-mind narrative. We will cleanse the forum from your pollution and discord and make it join our harmony. I am a voice in their choir.
Silence The Discord!
Your boos mean nothing! I've seen what makes you cheer!
Pineapple on pizza is excellent as long as the sauce is lighter on garlic and there’s a fresh basil leaf under it.
Why would you put pizza on top of a basil leaf?
I was not expecting to get into pineapple pizza so much as an adult. First of all, there aren't many pizzas I'd turn down anyway. But pineapple is fucking amazing. The sweetness and acidity marries perfectly with rich, melty cheese, just like marinara does. And I beg to differ on the garlic: I like a sauce that bites back.
I experimented heavily with pineapple pizza until I found out I had an extreme allergy to gluten. The sauce loves some garlic but, if you really want garlic, just toss some diced garlic on top of the pizza with a drizzle of olive oil before you bake. It comes out perfect at 550 for 5-6 minutes on a pizza stone or 450 for 8-10? (I can’t remember anymore, I shifted to the former). Buuuuut, that’s how I learned that the two flavors clash when they’re too strong. A piece of pineapple with an adjacent medium to medium-well garlic is not a pleasant combo.
Also how I found out that Italian small leaf basil and pineapple is literally a perfect combo, always. I’m making a basil pineapple salad tomorrow!
Jalapeños really add a nice heat to go with the sweetness
What's behind her and why does it have a vein?
It's a horn. No veins https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=m4_9TFeMfJE
An excellent song.
The bass slaps!
TIL that Doja Cat is a real name for an artist. (I'm not mocking - I just thought the name was a meme.)
When you wake up from a coma, you have to move slowly and take it easy when you get out of bed for the first time in ten years.
Your comment is more applicable than you might know.
I hope you recover well, and have doctors with an actual clue.
Thanks! I was never in a coma - AFAIK - but I did hurt my back and get stuck in bed for eleven days, which is why this is relevant.
So far my doctor hasn't fixed the issue, so I can't comment on his clues, but he seems pretty confident so I'm hopeful.
He also complimented me on my back maze, so I would likely feel positively about him in any case!
It is a stage name, not her real name, so kind of both depending on how you look at it?
True! I never really thought it was her real name, even after learning she exists, but I could have expressed that better.
Image search pulls up that it’s a screenshot from the music video Doja Cat - Paint The Town Red.
I don’t adjust my opinions based on online voting done by idiots.
diagonally.
two triangles. there's some science behind this: the angle/cut makes the eater take smaller bites.
smaller bites have been shown to have a greater sensory experience: texture & flavor.
if you like science and are smart cut your FUCKING SANDWICHES DIAGONALLY
If you like science you'll provide sources. ;)
university of vermont, this article links to it but the link has gone dead. I presume if you wrote to the culinary department they could dig it up on some old hard drive
https://www.businessinsider.com/sandwich-making-hacks-2018-7#salt-and-pepper-your-veggies-9
Have you a source for this because if you do I'll never cut a sandwich any other way for the rest of my life. I swear it.
the study was done at the university of vermont. this article links to it, but the link is dead and I cannot spend any more energy on this topic.
https://www.businessinsider.com/sandwich-making-hacks-2018-7#salt-and-pepper-your-veggies-9
Thank you kindly. :)
source: their ass
This doesn't make sense, I can't take as big of a bite of a horizontal cut because I can't nom pointy end first into roughly half the sandwich?
so there was some kind of casual study that showed people tend to take smaller bites of diagonally cut sandwiches. do not ask me to give a source, Dan Pashman mentioned it on his James Beard Award winning podcast The Sporkful.
Side note: The Sporkful is best known for its ongoing debate about whether or not a hodog is a sandwich
That's funny. Never listened to The Sporkful, but I'd have said that this is what Judge John Hodgman is best known for, as well.
Fuck you I WANT A BIG CHOMP
Wait, do votes on comments have any effect at all on Lemmy, or is it just a tally to see how popular your views are?
No effect apart from a bit of algo ranking. On reddit you get timed out if people down vote its annoying.
If you get 100,000, you get a pizza party
with pizza cut HORIZONTALLLY ,...MUAHHAHAHAHA...
Tavern cut is the best cut so yeah.
Only if the pizza is a rectangle
My man
What was the statement?
There wasn't one, I made it up.
You guys cut your sandwiches?
If they snitch.
I used to go down in a blaze of glory when I went against the hivemind of old Imgur. Me in 2017, Elon Musk sucks, -200. You have own your opinion.
How do you even cut a sandwich horizontally?? The slices of bread are alreadly separated from each other! On what reference do they consider the cutting plane?
A horizontal cut is pretty easy. Usually it's easier than the vertical cut. Sliding the knife between the meat and the liquidy toppings gets you a nice, smooth path through. Then just lift the cut portion away from the bottom portion, and enjoy your sandwich.*
*One may have to fold the sandwich like you do a piece of bread around a hot dog, but don't worry, it's just part of the process.
I can definitely see why OP would stand by their statement about people who cut sandwiches horizontally.
Cutting a Sando corner to corner is considered diagonal. Cutting across the middle is considered horizontal in this context.
One creates two triangles, one creates two rectangles. This is from.a top down perspective.
It's not very hard to understand when you see it
Ooh, so that was the actual debate, i feel dumb now. Anyway triangles FTW, the strongest shape.
Cutting a sandwich 'along the middle' is still considered a vertical cut, just along a different plane. Same as cutting corner to corner. Vertical but on a plane that isn't orthogonal to the major XYZ axes.
I said top down. That's a 2d perspective
That's just a 3d perspective along the Z axis
I wrote this at 1am so IDK either
Maybe they're laying down while cutting it?
An uncut sandwich is better than a horizontal cut sandwich.
Not even as a kid did I ever understand cutting sandwiches. And crusts were always fine by me.
People who cut crusts off toast are so weird. Some bread actually has crusts that are kind of hard, I can see why someone might want to cut it off (even though I think the crust is usually the best part). But toast? maybe useful for the visual presentation, but even then I'd just eat the crust separately.
a horizontal cut sandwich is just TWO SANDWICHES. Don't gaslight us!
Admirable. A single down-vote, even out of 200 and I take physical damage for the next few days.
Some clients like the voyager app also let you hide or combine them
That's pretty cool and very kind of you. But I was exaggerating, though it does hit me more than it should.
But cognitively I know it's usually not that big of a deal. Sometimes the way I communicated is an issue, or somebody interpreted it wrong, or they are having a bad day, being unreasonable, or I just straight up made a mistake. It could be so many things.
I find this article pretty useful for anyone who might struggle with this and rejection in general:
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2025/oct/08/stay-true-to-yourself-fly-closer-sun-what-ive-learned-from-50-years-of-rejection
I'll be at 0 score from the person im arguing with and still be like "what was wrong with my comment!!"
You had to know that this comment would end up with one downvote at one point or another lol
For me, it really depends on my mentality, but for the most part, I have the sneaking suspicion that if you're not occasionally downvoted, then you're doing something wrong.
Like, you do not have to be a flawless member of the Hive Mind. It is okay to think for yourself and have your own opinions, you know?
The one time I noticed I got downvoted on Lemmy was because I was stupid, and somehow that makes it much more tolerable. Like, I'm happy less people read that shit
Help, I want to report an assault!
Username checks out ;) ADHD & rejection sensitive dysphoria go hand in hand. I feel ya!
That's actually very easy on Lemmy
When you post a comment and it gets downvotes: it AN opinion. Jeez.
Some "opinions" genuinely suck. But I've seen downvotes on extremely mild takes, too.
Not to mention the irrational hate boner people have on the thorn dude.
Did you mean to say When you post an opinion and it gets downvotes ?
Good lord… the is a typo in my critique!! Ugh.
I meant: It’s AN opinion.
And… that’s what I get for being smart alecky
What is in the sandwich determines if you cut it diagonally. Tuna/chicken/egg salad sandwiches shouldn't be cut diagonally because everything falls out.
If it's a mostly wet filling like those you'e mentioned, the cut isn't what's making it fall out of the sandwich. Those tend to get pushed out the back and sides even without cutting it. Especially if it's got a lot of if in there.
yeah this is my problem with this whole argument - too many sandwiches suffer from any cutting. build it, give it a good smoosh then use the bread to pinch in the ingredients that want to slide around like tomatoes or pickles.
but, I do recognize, I'm way too serious about sandwiches lol
I genuinely don't give a fuck about internet points. I've seen a bunch of perfectly reasonable takes get downvoted into oblivion and a bunch of dogshit comments get hundreds of votes. People who adjust their opinions based on updoots need to go outside unironically.
Hot dogs are sandwiches
This is a settled debate. Hot dogs are tacos
Fuhrer Trump decreed that tacos are hot dogs
He's allowed to identify as whatever processed meat he wants. Hot dogs are tacos though.
Seems like an odd distinction, tacos are also sandwiches.
Get your binary food logic out of here
Sandwich is something between two similar things
Taco is a thing wrapped around another
Pizza is a thing on top of another
Calzone is when one thing is fully encased in another
Your definition of sandwhich is incorrect.
I know, it must be terrifying to have the truth of the world laid out for you so plainly. Terror is a calzone, by the way
Nah, iv known for awhile now how confused people are by the concept of a sanwhich.
Ah, I see, you are stuck on a pizza of ignorance. You must return to Sandwich
You must stack another pizza upside down upon your understanding
Acknowledge the pizza for what it is, a half sandwich. And how could a half sandwich ever turn into a whole sandwich?
I see disagreement, but no counter argument.
Life is not always fair.
Smoothies are soup.
A soy vanilla latte is a three-bean soup.
I am vanilla latte
Only if they use actual vanilla and not a cheap chemical replica
No beaver butts here!
Lasagna is a casserole.
Chicago deep dish pizza is just lasagna.
Really stewy lasagna... Gross! Thanks!
This is the best one.
It's not thick or chunky enough. It might be a broth.
and I cut them diagonally just because that's not how a sub should be cut
subs are exploding weapons of mass mustard.
But a sub is just a sandwich.
sandwiches that get cut horizontally
Depends on the sandwich orientation when cutting. If you lay the sandwich side to side then cutting across the short length is vertical. Laying the sandwich so it's point away from you would make that cut horizontal.
nah, horizontal means perpendicular to the main axis. there's only one main axis for a sub. and roll doesn't matter
Me and my nihilism and anti-natalism.
And if a .ml user or equivalent is around, my anti-authoritarianism.
Any way a sandwich is cut, it is cut vertically.
I usually do a triple bias paraboloid
yeah, if you cut something horizontally you got two sides: top and bottom, if you cut vertically you got left and right parts
Me saying Alec Baldwin was responsible for what he did, and should've faced consequences for it. Downvotes aplenty, but I stand by my belief
What about the person that prepared the gun?
I mean... he's an actor. There's a person on payroll for props for a reason. Should every actor in Breaking Bad have stopped to make sure it wasn't real ricin they were handling? lmfao
That's not how firearms work. If it's in your hands you are responsible.
Would you feel differently if he hit the victim with a car he wasn't trained to drive but did anyway?
Yup. It's why I don't bother reading replies. I said what I said, I don't care what your response is.
(No offense. I just don't wanna hear it.)
Do you ever reply to replies?
Personally, I prefer the time-tested tradition of r/NotOpButOkay
You avoid wasting more time on pointless flamewars that way. If someone else shares the same opinion, they can tap-in if they feel like it. A short of pay-it-forward comment style lol
Predictably, PieFed has that option that Lemmy lacks.
Although if used for every comment then perhaps better to simply not post the comment in the first place - it's fairly antisocial behavior to talk but not to listen.
I don't like 99% of bread. Bread sucks. Rice and noodles are way better starches. Fight me.
Germany wants to know your location.
I'll keep these hot takes coming yo. I went to europe because people keep raving aboot bread in europe and people say Toronto has bad bread or something but neither I nor my partner could taste much of a difference when comparing breads from actual bakeries.
Same with us Americans, they think we all eat wonderbread with every meal
German bread can be really good, but a lot of German bread kinda sucks. Especially anything that comes pre-sliced in a plastic bag.
Better starch? Thats a fine opinion. Bread sucks?! Gimme yo location dukes up bitch
I order thin crust pizza because it has less bread. I treat bread as a vehicle for food and nothing else.
Noodles suck they fall off my chopsticks making me look like a fool!
Skill issue.
Cut them up and eat it with a spoon
Ramen is good on bread. Even better in a wrap. The non-soup kind works best for this.
I will go down in a blaze of glory for my convictions. been banned from a few places for them. really don't give a shit about what others think, just as long as I make them think.
after all if you can't stand by your convictions, what can you stand for?
Hot take: I don't cut my sandwiches I just eat them.
ITT: People posting their unpopular opinion and getting downvoted again, but not as much.
Nothing beats a Jet2 holiday....
what does that have todo with anything??
And right now...
...You can save fifty pounds per person...🗣
A sandwich cut horizontally just takes us back to two pieces of bread. Where we started. What's your game?
This is why I squish mine into a dough ball.
Triangles or death!
Which way is horizontal?
The wrong way
Take a slice and then cut it diagonal on the side.
I cut mine 3 ways
Truly, I think some people really think that if something they said is unpopular that should mean they should shut up, or they're wrong.
All it means is that the thing was unpopular. A lot of unpopular opinions are just completely correct, but old ways are entrenched etc etc.
Or join instance disable downvote. Will not see them.
My instance also does not have downvotes but you can still see them if they come from other instances.
That's how I feel about my statement about sandwiches using mayo.
edit: See?