It kind of felt as if I was reading a post about my life before adulthood, haha.

I'm sure it's not something that you didn't realize yet, but when you're neurodivergent, mentally ill and/or chronically ill, nothing you do to make your life better will please anyone.

I am suffering from several conditions, from mild to severe. Parents don't believe it, so I strung along, thinking that seeing me go to the emergency for the 10th time would make them understand that I needed medicine. Thinking that getting a doctor to say "they need medicine" would, too. Or maybe that admitting I was suicidal would make them realize that I am suffering.

Of course it didn't work.

So at some point I decided to argue back. It started small, but seeing their unwavering resolve, I decided to go further.

It escalated to screaming matches, insults and threats. I would tell doctors about more severe symtoms right in front of them. I would speak to my family about their mistreatment right in front of them, as they would talk to them about me being unreasonable. I gave ultimatums as they did, threatned to hit back, screamed out of nowhere when the pain was too much, told them I hope they got as sick as I was. I did reprehensible after reprehensible things without an ounce of remorse, since none of this would've had happened if they even cared a little.

But at some point, they got tired of it all, and let me try medicine. It was quite cathardic, since I'd never think that would even lead to anything. They still removed and moan till this day about it, but I don't care. I can finally program even when things flare up really badly, and that's a win in my book.

However, once I got a job, I managed to get my prescriptions in secret. It was an opportunity I was priviledged to have, and couldn't pass on. The people in my workplace were nice and understanding, luckily, and I managed to work decently.

But from a certain point, I realized I had to stop carring about how people would react about my symptoms. That if I had to lay on the floor right now, slouch, walk increadibly slowly, that I didn't have to pretend to be fine enough to not do those things. Because even when you pretend you're fine, you won't be able to 100% mask it, and people will still see that and complain too.

So they don't like that you spit because of phlegm? Spit more! They're not the ones having their throat clogged to the point they can't breathe. You're supplying for your family? Hold it over their heads everytime they get mad. It's cruel, but wouldn't have happened if they treated you better, and they know it. Brother hogs the computer? Hog it back. If your parents or brother get mad, get angrier. It's your PC. They take money from you and then they're going to take that as well? Accidentally pissed off some whacko on the Internet? Block em. It's obvious they never cared about you in the first place, so why should you spend the already little energy you have left on tfem?

And I was a bit lying when I said that nothing you do will please anyone. Those who are suffering similar ailments will understand. Those who actually care about you will at least try. I won't act as if it's hard to find such people, even in communities that preach being a safe space for you.

Try also looking into mutual aid. There are lots of hashtags and groups related to it on Mastodon, and even some on Lemmy. Hell, I'd be willing to send over 50$ CAD if you need it. I had the priveledge of not growing up poor, and it won't kill me. Don't be afraid to ask for money. You deserve it.

As for if life is worth living, I can't decide that for you. I would love to tell you that it is and that there's more to it, but it's hard to imagine there's light at the end of the tunnel when you're not only suffering because of your body and mind, but because others don't care. And while I found someone wonderful who I chose to live for, before that, I lived out of spite. I was furious that I had these conditions, but also that I was mistreated for it. You don't have to live like that either, but don't let the people that walk over you get away without at least holding their ankles and making them trip. You're a person too.

Same demographic doing Epstein and Diddy jokes perpetuating the same shit that enables predators. Who could've guessed?

I remember having an argument about this on Lemmy lol.

Trying to explain to the user that kept using the "organized around producing large/small gametes" definition that there is no "supposed to" in biology. It either happens or it doesn't. It doesn't matter if you have a penis, testes and went through an androgenic puberty. It is unfortunate if you wanted kids (and that's why we use the word "suposed to". To explain why it doesn't work), but that doesn't meant that your body was "supposed to" produce small gametes.

everyday I thank myself for being too shut-in to post pictures of myself online

HE DRINKS SEMEN!

THERE'S NO WAY HE WOULD'VE SAID THAT UNLESS HE DRINKS SEMEN!

You're right! But we're celebrating the murder of a serial killer

I hope they are doing well...

I hate that I could tell what it was about without looking at the comments :/

Debian stays winning

Oh noooo, not the Godot customers :(((((

Seriously though, what are these? I've had them for years and I've tried to ask my doctor about it, but I had too many issues to deal with or they didn' believe me idk

... ![email protected]?

Open world, MMO and AAA are like red flags to me lol

It's not really that I interpret it in another way, but I never really thought about the structure of the word 😅

usually when the best friend does that, it's because the crush voiced discomfort about you to their best friend

I can say I was there when Lemmy 1.0 released!

Unrelated, but this is my brother's favorite quote.

Alas, this doesn't only apply to republicans. You'd be surprised how much everyday people casually believe in eugenics/phrenology/other nazi related pseudo-science.

Well Well Well. Look who finally decided to show up

Metaphysics isn't looking for a black cat that isn't there. It's assuming that there is a black cat even though there might not be one, because flashlights don't exist yet.

Hmmmmm