Billionaire Ehud Laniado dies during penis enlargement surgery, surgeons banned
https://www.hindustantimes.com/trending/billionaire-ehud-laniado-dies-during-penis-enlargement-surgery-surgeons-banned-101769904541458.htmlOpen linkView original on lemmy.ca1199
Comments322
We should offer these two doctors' services for free penis enlargements to all billionaires.
Rather than free, you should offer the most exclusive and expensive dong surgeries on earth.
You're both half right. You offer the most exclusive expensive penis enlargement surgury for free just for them, BECAUSE they're a billionaire.
Nothing rich assholes love more than getting expensive shit for free because of their privledge.
They want the most exclusive expensive version of things for the lowest cost. It’s fucking ridiculous bragging rights bullshit.
How I would love to offer an extremely exclusive and expensive product or service and have a billionaire approaching me trying to get it for free, to be able to say “Oh, I’m sorry, can you not afford it? We only offer this to people who have enough money to pay for it. I’m sure if you work hard, one day you’ll earn enough money to come back and give this a try!”
Nothing would hurt a fragile billionaire’s ego more than insinuating that they’re poor. Their entire lives and identities revolve around being rich and to take that away from them, even for a few seconds, would haunt them for many years to come.
*burial cost not included
Misleading headline. He died of a heart condition. They were banned because they were practicing without a license.
Even the cis female ones?
Do you want them to be bigger dicks? With bigger egos?
Since both doctors now have a history of killing their patients when providing that service, I trust you can figure out my hopeful outcome.
@schwim But they don't.
Jesus, did ANYONE here READ the article?
Hey Musk I got a proposition for ya
No no. You do it this way:
"Hey musk, you have a small dick"
Unfortunately, he's probably into being humiliated like that.
Yeehaw!
Didn’t somebody already botch his dick?
Let’s tell him this new guy will fix it
musk had his mangled by a "surgeon"
Ohhhh, botched dick!! botched that one! That's a botch job!
...
Call me paranoid, but I'd like anyone giving me penis injections to be licensed to practice medicine.
You sound like the brainwashed masses. He, a billionaire, was much more qualified to determine if someone is fit to practice medicine than some institutional board. Obviously, otherwise he wouldn’t have been a billionaire.
Or the Oceangate ethos: They're are too many unnecessary rules in medicine! Controlled experiments to test new drugs are just slowing down innovation!
Just wait until someone does this with a gene drive
Not me. I want one who's finished with practicing and ready for the big show. That's why I only use doctors who are no longer "practicing." Cuz I'm not a fucken idiot.
Keep reading.
I wonder if this is a benefit to having health insurance: my insurance presumedly vets doctors in their network, so I'd have a hard time going to anyone unlicensed.
On the other hand, if I got penis enhancement surgery my insurance wouldn't cover it anyway, so I'd probably not care if they were out of network.
Socialized medicine also vets the doctors they have on payroll. Extra bonus: their vetting process doesn't involve a willingness to fuck patients over for extra cash.
Also, regardless of who pays, always check the doctor's credentials and more importantly their online reviews - there are a lot of crappy doctors that are acting perfectly legally.
That makes sense. I wasn't thinking American-style health insurance vs socialized medicine, I was thinking American-style health insurance vs self pay.
Funny when here in Belgium, the government put a couple decades ago a cap on the number of doctors who were allowed to graduate medical school (numerus clausus). The goal is to reduce the number of doctors to pay for (with the support of existing doctors who want less competition).
The predictable result of artificial scarcity? I live a major city and if I want an appointment with any specialist it's a 6+ months delay or a 1-2 months if you can justify a daytrip to Brussels. This is having real tangible impacts on quality of care.
Obviously I would not trade my healthcare system for the American one but let's not pretend that money and greed aren't factors.
As one of the people going through the Files right now, believe me, less billionaire penises is a good thing.
This is way more efficient than putting them each in a submarine
We can do both
Fill a sub with their lopped-off penises?
No, obviously those are used for chum to lure in the sharks.
Ah, so it had nothing to do with the procedure, dude was on a cocktail of his own drugs, didn't tell the doctor, had a heart attack.
So, if it was anyones fault, it was the pathetic billionaires fault. Also anyone who gets rich from diamonds is always, 100%, a scumbag.
He shouldn't have gotten the heart enlargement surgery
Ahh, cocaine and Cialis. A classic combo for cardiac catastrophe
Solid alliteration
AFAIK it’s not a dangerous combination. The cialis relieves some of the vasoconstriction from the cocaine.
It's honestly really sad for the surgeon. Before undergoing surgery the patient must disclose everything that could make complications on the operation for a reason, a doctor does not care what crimes the patient commits and won't have a reason to snitch, but not knowing the patient using banned substances that affect surgery could lead to life altering (and in this case outright ending it) problems.
I wondered why he wasn’t answering my calls! Why are we only just finding out about this now?
Well, I thought I was going to get a call after the old snip snip cuz we talked about that
Early Carmen episodes were amazing especially for how they still hold up
You're a sad confused little man aren't you
"What if Jesus was aborted"
I never thought It's Always Sunny could make me tear up until Mac danced. Shit was beautiful, man.
You mean the high school reunion dance, right? 🤣
2019? Damn.
I am from the 20th century
I still think autoerotic asphyxiation is the most embarrassing way to die, but, thanks to this article, I’ve now been introduced to a close second.
The fact that he was a billionaire diamond magnate just makes it easier to laugh.
this is definitely worse than autoerotic asphyxiation, that's just someone trying and failing to explore their kink...this is just someone who won the game of life being insecure about his dick
I agree this is worse.
Solid argument
Maybe the surgery was a success. Dude asked for a dong the size of a Pringles can, got one, and all his blood went to it and he died. Checks out to me.
Choking to death on stolen panties must be up there in the rankings. No cases to cite but would be surprised it was zero.
I'd check Japan. Bunch of panty thieves there.
...was I supposed to be eating the panties all this time?
Lol. Lmao. Dude had billions of dollars and fucken died cause he wanted a bigger dick.
To all the kids out there: accept who you are. Love yourself. Be genuine.
To all the billionaires out there, keep getting shady, life-threatening surgeries.
To all the billionaires out there: people will never respect you until you have 2 kg of dick. Go show them who's boss!
... that's an integrated part of your body and in the form of a single dick looking appendage.
We don't want buckets of dick strewn around, nor random dicks attached to the torso.
Oooooh…. Shit…. Could have used this information yesterday….
If you are in the buckets category, then pls don't make us accessories to your crimes.
If you have attached dicks to your torso, then don't worry, you'll still get what you can interpret as deference from people. It won't be, but it'll seem like respect.
I’ve just got the bucket going at the moment, but if you think sticking them on will get me out of legal trouble then I’ll get to gluing them to myself. Gonna be a long day.
Also: you totally do know everything there is to know about deep sea submarines
Invite your friends!
Its not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean!
I've never liked this metaphor because when you are sailing you have no control of the ocean. Yes, I am autistic.
I never liked it and I only used it now.
Yes I am autistic, too.
I think, you are not supposed to control your partner, unless you have a really good safeword.
So the operation was a 100% succes.
The poor man died on a table with his cock cut to pieces, what a terribly unfortunate thing to happen.
Those pieces were very small, tho, like minuscule ...
Micro surgery is hard
A dick lost his life
I came here for this.
It's the first thing I thought of when I read the headline.
Damn what a way to go, now the whole world knows he had a small dick as the last thing he does.
Not necessarily. Data suggests that most people that feels that way have average sized penises. It's not reality what fails to them, it's their ego.
Maybe he has a big penis and wanted a giant one? One to make a horse blush. One that makes you kick people when you get an erection in public
I can't believe being a billionaire wasn't enough for this man, he was still insecure that he felt the need to buy a bigger dick.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but women don't need a gorilla sized dick! They need you to eat them out! (this guy had a wife. We need to ask men if they crave gorilla dicks)
(Gorillas have tiny dicks)
Maybe it's a dick the size of a gorilla, not the size of a gorilla's dick.
Would you rather fight one dick the size of a gorilla, or one hundred dicks the size of a gorilla dick?
oh my, what's a big dicked beast that would be better suited for this?
Reporting for duty
The dick sounds great, but the bacterium is a little offputting, I think.
Donkey, horse.
No, no... you want a penis that can really do things. You want prehensile! See cetaceans and elephants for more details.
Barnacle. Several times their body size, supposedly.
A cock the size of a barnacle. . . Nope, the phrase just doesn't inspire shock and awe.
Think they want the whole gorilla
Just get a cod piece like respectable humans.
brutal
Not even that bigger. Enlargement surgery is highly risky (even if this guy died of a heart attack), and only promises like 2cm in additional length. Girth increases are slightly more substantial though. It sounds like he was getting the type that is just an injection of fat in the dick, which is comparatively less risky.
The risks involved are wild. A sizable amount of doctors doing enlargements have questionable standings with their local medical boards. It's also not uncommon to find places that are very vague about what they are adding or changing about your body, while promising extreme results. Infections, loss of function, constant erection due to the addition of harder structures, decreased sensitivity are some of the more alarming, yet not uncommon risks. As it's an elective, specialized surgery, practices are often aggressive and manipulative in dealing with clients/potential clients. Is not unheard of for places to require multiple surgeries, when it turns out there were complications with the first one.
TBF I've known some guys who were size queens.
As if you haven't read Great Gatsby back in school. You can't fill the void with money, you can only escape the reality
If someone is unhappy with who/what they are, no amount of money can ever fill that hole.
We, like you, are held to impossible physical standards.
Especially in a place where women have basically no rights.
I applaud billionaire willing to die to show us what's right and wrong. Submarine excursions when you have no clue what you're doing, ruining the lives of millions with price hikes, penis enlargement surgery with unlicensed surgeons… keep at it billionaires. Let's step: going to Mars without a backup plan, because thinking things ahead is for pussy. You can do it!
Coconut penis
Let this be an example to every surgeon out there that if a billionaire patient dies during or after a surgery:
It can't simply be a statistical death, their trusts will have investigators digging through your trash for years and feeding a team of laywers to find the slightest excuse to end your career even if they die because they were taking party drugs and weren't honest with you.
Its best to just refuse doing surgery on a billionaire.
Or, and hear me out, take one for society like these heroes did.
"Sign here. . . and here. . . Now flop it out on the table. . . Nurse, hand me the claw hammer. . ."
Dude killed himself by not disclosing boner pillsand the surgeons were "practicing medicine without a license" for the place they working in (though they were as qualified as most surgeons) From the article
Comrade Penis Enlargement Surgeon, the surgery was a great success! You are now heroes of socialism like Comrade Whale, Comrade Bee, and Comrade crushing pressure of deep ocean.
Who are these two?
https://www.vice.com/en/article/billionaire-dies-after-swallowing-a-bee-during-polo-match/
Comrade Bee laid down his life for the people!
A number of whales have been sinking or damaging yachts near Spain. No single whale and nothing terribly dramatic but it's become a popular Leftists meme. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iberian_orca_attacks
And nothing of value was lost.
I'd wager we lost two capable surgeons, but then again...
I'm not a doctor, but taking vasodilators before a surgery sounds like a bad idea
Performing surgery without a medical license is probably a bad idea too.
Kind of weird that the surgeons are implicated to have caused it in the headline, when he died of a heart problem unrelated to the cosmetic surgery.
You'd think the drugs and medications he was taking would be more at fault in that case.
The surgery was not found to be the cause of death. It's just included in the headline this way for clicks.
Given the context, read that as "dicks"
So the article said he received injections. Which very easily could be the direct cause of the heart attack. Why would you assume the was no connection?? I mean, one was charged with practicing medicine without a license.
Doesn't sound odd at all.
That's what the article reports. An investigation was conducted into the death, and concluded that the injections were not related. The only issue with the cosmetic surgeons was that their licence wasn't applicable in France, or other regulatory faults.
The victim taking numerous erectile dysfunction and penile enlargement medications were suggested to have been the driver for the heart problems that killed him.
did you not read the article?
Because they read the article.
This was purely a case of litigation because they were a billionaire.
The “unlicensed” surgeon? Had an Algerian degree, which was a French colony, that’s just racism.
They were clearly just throwing charges at them until something stuck, presumably at the rich inheritor’s request.
@ParadoxSeahorse The investigation was done by govt; it's not a lawsuit. It may well have been driven by interest in the subject, but it's still just a govt investigation. That investigation found (mostly unrelated) wrongdoing by the providers, and they were punished for it. The investigation found that one of them was practicing without a license. You seem to be confusing degree with licensure; they are not the same thing.
Did you actually read the article? Because all of this is in there.
Yeah I just think the licensing is discriminatory admin, not any proof of incompetence, and I don’t think it’s batshit to say the reason the case got focus from the state was because the nobhead was a billionaire.
The prosecution desperately tried to assign blame and criminal intent, but the court clearly disagreed because the sentencing was purely regulatory and basically the floor of what they could expect.
In the end a trumped up case trying to blame two doctors for standard foreseeable complications when plumping a posh pickle
@ParadoxSeahorse You apparently read a different article, or imagined one.
I'm really just out of patience for this kind of emotion-fulfilling story-telling. This is exactly the same kind of feeling-filled rationalization that everyone we oppose uses all the time. It's not helping. It doesn't matter here, but if you bring this habit to the rest of your life, then it's doing more harm than good. Bye.
Well, they can move back, and practice again in their home country?
Now this is a feel good story
Won at the game of life (i.e. being a billionaire), still insecure about your PP
* the game of capitalism
You think these needledicks would learn from Elons botched surgery.
Kanye's mom has entered the chat.
oh!
so is that how we'll be rid of billionaires?
Be the change you want to see in the world!
Penis surgery, get your pension surgery here!
For sure gonna catch a lot of that small-dick try-hard over-compensating energy.
So pathetic they tried to pin this on the surgeon too.
Also dude was on meds that affected the heart.
Now there's a fucking Darwin Award
And nothing of value was lost.
Including the 32 billionaires that died last year, that's just over 1% of all billionaires removed from this Earth! That's not an insignificant number. Let's make it even higher!
The penis was purported to be so epic its legend stretched 7 years into the future, from a Parisian clinic to an Indian online news site.
🍆
Thank you for your service, penis enlargement surgeons.
Musk had the same thing, but his came out all butchered.
I always thought that autoerotic asphyxiation was the gold standard comedic way for billionaires to die. I was wrong.
The thought of this wealthy pencil dick chasing what I have and dying in the process is hilarious.
I guess envy really is a deadly sin.
That's the most verbose way to say "I have a large penis" I've seen yet.
Well...I assumed that he had a pencil dick (which I don't have.) That would be envy. If he actually had a n above average dick and wanted more that would be greed. Either way it's a deadly sin.
Weird that someone lacing 2/2 comments with professions of their large penis is citing the bible for authority.
Then again the bible does have a passage about big donkey dicks and cum, so maybe you're an orthodox practitioner of some variety.
Either way I don't respect you.
Fun fact: the seven deadly sins aren't in the bible. They were made up by some monk and later pushed by the church as a way to get people to confess their sins
Fair enough.
I'm getting some serious small dick energy from your comments.
Cool. Imagine I have a micropenis or none at all if you want to. Doesn't change anything I said.
I am.
I'm flattered that you took time out of your day to make that for me, let alone triple comment.
Guess I really hit a sore spot by casting doubt on your penis size. Sorry about that.
Hope you get a better hobby one day.
This is better in every sense other than people (at least Americans) not knowing who the fuck this guy is. People will remember Carradine far beyond this.
@MapleEngineer Actually, he just died of an inconveniently timed heart attack. (But aren't they all?) He was 65 and had CV problems, and was secretly doing stuff his heart doctors would have told him not to. The dick surgery (really just some kind of filler injection to plump up his junk) did not kill him. There's some question as to whether he was showing actionable symptoms when he arrived, but the investigation said they were masked by stomach ulcer symptoms.
Yes, but he had that heart attack while having penis enlargement surgery.
@MapleEngineer He could also have had it while riding a bus, but that wouldn't mean that riding a bus killed him.
I get that this is fully for 14-year-olds.
Yes, but this pencil dick would not have been caught dead riding a bus with the unwashed. It is terribly funny to 60 year olds as well.
@MapleEngineer I guess, if they're immature enough.
Believe it or not, a lot of people stop finding juvenile humour clever or funny once we're far enough past puberty.
It seems that you're the only one who doesn't find it hilarious. Maybe you're the problem?
It may not have been the surgery that killed him, but it's a happy thought.
@Regrettable_incident If you read the article, that's not in doubt.
Again, I get that this is fully for 14-year-olds, or older people with the mentality of teenagers. Have fun with that.
Found the surgeon . . ?
That's the celebrity death way.
For billionaires it's submarines.
"Belgian-Israeli businessman Ehud Arye Laniado, founder of Omega Diamonds, suffered a fatal heart attack while undergoing injections intended to enlarge his penis."
At least we get some good news this year.
I was thinking the same thing but further down in the article it says the surgery happened in 2019. This article is basically about the surgeons being punished.
Guess this needs to be updated?
it seems like the operation failed. there's fewer dicks in the world now.
> be me
> have money
> like "i can get away with pedophilia" money
> can get any woman i want
> lil' me won't get hard
> gold digger says it's ok, i can hear her laugh
> everyone giggles when i'm around
> hear rumors of how i was cheated by every gf and wife
> time to fix this shit
> coke'n cialis combo
> get dick surgery
> get ready for the pornstar dick, bitches!
> unlicensed medics
> forgot to tell them i was high af
> die in surgery\
Absolutely zero sympathy. Another asswipe will fill the gap for the next shipment of blood diamonds.
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
one billionaire down, 3,027 more to go
Sadly, that won't matter unless we take out their kids too. I mean that's how billionaires are made anyway- literally born that way. We need to eradicate whole dynasties.
We can't do that by force - the only way to get rid of billionaires is by taking the means of production under a planned market economy, taxing the rich, publicizing their property with a land value tax, and then redistributing their wealth to the poor and needy. Seriously!
Was thinking we would have to do what the Chinese did to their leaders and ship them off to work study in a place where none of their psychophants are around.
I'm with you 100%.
But first! Let's kill the billionaires and their children.
Or you can just tax them and redistribute their wealth to the poor and anyone else who really need the money. The rich snobs would probably end up being broke themselves.
You make a great point. Let's do that. I'm all for it. That is the way to go. After we eradicate their dynastic lines from existence.
lol get fucked.
Not any more!
Well I mean...he's not in the ground yet. He won't be doing any fucking himself, but he could still get fucked.
He's been dead for seven years.
I said what I said.
lolololololol
It makes me very, very sad to hear of the passing of a billionaire.
I feel like... People only become billionaires because they have other problems they think they can only solve with money.
Imagine having one hundred million euros (dollars, pounds, whatever) and genuinely thinking that happiness is just another hundred million away. They are all broken, failed humans.
1 billionaire down, 3000ish to go.
Now if only Elon's penis implant became gangrenous...
it probably did, since it got permanently damaged.
The rest of him was already gangrenous, it's only the crotch area that's holding out now.
Did elon get a penis implamt for real? Because if we have any evidence of that I would love to spread it around.
The rumor is that he got an extension. The kicker? It was botched and wasn't working right. 😆
Just to add, there is some actual evidence for this. Mainly, Elon is pretty publicly a weird pervert who is obsessed with sex, but all his kids are born from artificial insemination and his weird harem thing he has going on are all artificially inseminated. That's the main evidence for his dick not working, at the very least.
Given the new evidence it could also be he thinks adult woman are gross..
So your original comment is just spreading rumours as fact. We really have become the left wing right, where you say anything you want as long as it’s against someone you don’t like. 😞.
This is the second such comment in this thread.
Found the Penile Knight in Shining Armor.
tips hat m'penis
When in rome.
Fuck Elon Musk and his deformed dick
this was in 2019
The verdict was Wednesday.
Fucking 7 years old news. Not that anyone really reads beyond the article title anyway.
Because then they'd find out the verdict was this past Wednesday?
If it makes people happy and isnt aggressively reposted, then who cares if its a repost.
If enough people report the post, it will get deleted by mods, report it
The verdict was Wednesday! Report that!
This happened in 2019
The verdict was Wednesday, which is 2026.
@friend_of_satan Read the article. It was an unfortunately timed heart attack. He would have died anyway, even just sitting at home watching TV.
@friend_of_satan The article is about the RECENT resolution of the investigation.
Does ANYONE have reading comprehension anymore?
I never would have pegged cosmetic surgeons as being the morally responsible type.
Question is, are billionaire diamond tycoons the pegging type?
I'm guessing it makes them diamonds?
I know a great cosmetic surgeon who's very kind and responsible. He chopped My willy off.
I know many cultures have a taboo on saying anything bad about the dead, but this is my favorite story of the week by a fair margin.
One less, one less 🎉🎉🎉
Lol. smol peepee
Ffs, just buy a dodge ram
How big was it then ? (Asking for a friend)
These are the implants. He was trying to more-than-double his size, which is just greedy.
Very fulfilling in any case.
You can't trade all the money in the world for being comfortable in your own skin. :)
Oh no!
Anyway...
Good start.
Now he will be remembered as a tiny dick Billionaire. He died while his manhood being ridiculed.
What manhood? Oh, THAT!?
do they have a gofundme i can donate to?
If you want a Mr Studd implant and you're a billionaire, don't be a cheap ass and hyer someone with a good reputation and license for peepee mods. Karma's a bitch...
But it was only the assistant surgeon who was unlicensed!
My point stand, when you're someone with common sense, you don't go to a fishy clinic with unlicensed people working there. It's recipe for disaster.
You think you become that rich by shelling out big bucks on dick surgeries?
More money than fucking brains... or dick.
👋
Exactly. Most people have hands. Most people have tongues. You can do so much with them. I would argue you can do so much more then you can with the biggest penis ever.
small pp boiii
I don't get it. If you are a billionaire, you'd have women (or men, whatever you like) throwing themselves at your junk. Why take the risk? You won at life, just enjoy banging everything that moves my dude. You could have a micro penis and still have people begging to do ungodly perverted things to it if you have that kind of money. Never satisfied I guess.
LMAO
Why aren't the surgeons being paraded like luigi.
I could get used to this
Please please... can we call it a tallywhacker?
Porky's?
Oh noooooo
So does anyone have any good recipes for muffins I've been in a muffin mood lately
And what happened then? Well, in Whoville they say, his small heart grew three sizes that day.
Also, why does this article mention 2019?
That's when it happened.
He did die of cardiac hypertrophy/his heart growing too big, funnily enough.
Thats pretty much like crowley loosing his soul for a larger penis in supernatural. Reality rhymes with fiction?
Come on, Elon, time for a little trim-trim on the old botched penis job, no?
its called snippity doo-da.
Penis enlargement for ALL billionaires!
Just keep trying penis surgeons. You'll get it right one of these days.
Now these guys deserve a nobel prize.
Someone get Maria Machado on the line.
Hahahahaha
o7 surgeons and o7 dipshit who kept taking sketchy pills before surgery
In heaven/hell:
Anonymous: Hey, you're a new one. How did you die?
Ehud: Well... That's a short story that supposed to become longer, but it hasn't.
Lol, won't be missed
We've all been there
d===/~!==D
OK now i def think musky did this shit
You mean he had penis enlargement surgery and they accidentally grafted a pound of foreskin onto his face?
Lol, didn't elon lose his ducks usability to this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lv4KXaamiyo
The Hindustan Times never disappoints!
I will play a violin that matches the size of his package to commemorate him.
Unless you have smaller hands than Trump, your fingers are too big for that violin.
Better way to go than most
A good start.
good
And this not satire, right?
A proper Darwin Award winner, here!
@Paranoidfactoid Did literally no one actually read the article?
Lol
Something something karma something...
They should fail upwards, just like Elon and Ehud.
Excuse me, I have to cancel a certain appointment.
Another one bites the dust!
I will take that
cancels penis enlargement operation
The verdict was Wednesday. Thanks for your tremendous contributions, though!