For anyone out there who has problems with things like this, remember, you can always just observe what other people do in the same situation, and then do the same thing when it happens to you. This is basically what other people intuitively do, but not everyone has the same sort of intuition.
It stops you feeling awkward. It's gets a chuckle from everyone involved, and it makes you feel a lot more confident (fake it till you make it type effect).
Extra qudos if you finish by pointing your mock baton at the friend you know is going to go "hip hip".
I did it a few years back, just in the spur of the moment wondering if it would stop the song; it did and they’ve stopped singing to me since then, so I consider it a double win.
I absolutely loathe this tradition, and I ask everyone to not do it in celebration of me. I also ask friends and family to not let anyone know it's my birthday at any restaurant we're at, as well. I fucking hate being sung to. Like, a lot. Just give me a pat on the back or something for Chrissake.....
Stare at everyone with disdain except for one person. Pure contempt for that person. After the singing has concluded. I point at that one person and say “Execute them”. Damn it feels good to be good to be a benevolent dictator.
I just sit there and guess if the singers will use my full name, or the short form, or my nickname. And then giggle stupid when they inevitably try to use all 3 together.
Be glad it's just Happy Birthday. In Poland there is this weird tradition, where they'll sing for You 4 songs, just to irritate You. Nobody likes it, especially the birthday person but it still happens.
My manager suggested that the team would sing for me last year in a group meeting. I asked why and she said they should sing because it's my birthday. I had to look on the calendar because she sounded so convinced but it was several weeks until my birthday. Since that she has never suggested happy birthday singing again and I really hope it remains like that.
Smile, stare at the cake, and lightly bob your head to the song. If you don't feel awkward with eye contact, then you can glance around the room and look at everyone.
85 replies
Smile and look around at all the people who want to celebrate you, and muse on how fortunate you are to have them in your life.
What are you, some kind of normie?
Smile creepily and make direct and awkward eye contact?
Yes, but with one person in particular.
Yeah, or you can even just smile and fake it.
For anyone out there who has problems with things like this, remember, you can always just observe what other people do in the same situation, and then do the same thing when it happens to you. This is basically what other people intuitively do, but not everyone has the same sort of intuition.
This but creepier
Mis-reply. Ignore this.
Masturbate furiously. The goal is to finish when the song ends.
Like your style
The cake needed a little more icing anyway.
I could never last that long.
I know... All those relatives right in front of you!
You haven't met my relatives...
This is why I’m banned from Applebees.
You and I have very different ideas of what an Applebee's are for.
Well that's just the icing on the cake
Penis helicopter at finish
Makes me think of that hippo pooping except with cum.
No idea, but once I was feeling extra awkward and started singing along with the rest of them.
Move your hands like you are conducting the symphony.
This is the best answer.
It stops you feeling awkward. It's gets a chuckle from everyone involved, and it makes you feel a lot more confident (fake it till you make it type effect).
Extra qudos if you finish by pointing your mock baton at the friend you know is going to go "hip hip".
scream in pain and agony until its quiet, then say "thank you everyone, let's enjoy the cake"
Slap on a grateful expression, stare into the candles, and conjure up a wish worthy of the magic they're casting with this ancient chant.
Immediately blow the candles out and get them to stop singing so it’s no longer awkward for everyone involved.
That is so much more awkward. I love it.
I did it a few years back, just in the spur of the moment wondering if it would stop the song; it did and they’ve stopped singing to me since then, so I consider it a double win.
absolute power move, that's awesome
When I was little, I always did a weird cringey little dance. As an adult I started doing it again. It makes an awkward situation (for me), fun.
https://i.giphy.com/gjgWQA5QBuBmUZahOP.webp
That clip synced surprisingly well with the song my phone was playing ("The Bar Song" by Delta Ash).
edit: Autocorrect strikes again. Changed "point" to "phone."
Bathe in the adulation, absorb their hymn of worship like the shining golden god you are. To thine own self be true! Happy Birthday = Hail Satan
Join in but replace every instance of "you" with "me."
Twerk
You're supposed to sit there awkwardly looking deeply embarrassed.
Join in the singing but replace the word "you" with the word "me".
This is the actual correct answer, no?
Grab your cat and prop them up like they're being marionetted and make them do a little dance
Smile and wave boys, smile and wave
Hand out cigars
Grin and bear it
Practice your death metal vocals
unzip
Cry.
Find the exit.
This is the greatest comment section ever
I usually just screech loudly until it's over or the restaurant staff come over to intervene
I absolutely loathe this tradition, and I ask everyone to not do it in celebration of me. I also ask friends and family to not let anyone know it's my birthday at any restaurant we're at, as well. I fucking hate being sung to. Like, a lot. Just give me a pat on the back or something for Chrissake.....
Stand up, hand on your heart and sing along but with "to meeee"
Stare at everyone with disdain except for one person. Pure contempt for that person. After the singing has concluded. I point at that one person and say “Execute them”. Damn it feels good to be good to be a benevolent dictator.
Think about how you're slowly creeping towards death.
The older I get, the more quickly it creeps.
Stare at the candles until they burn a hole in your retina
Please sir, tell me why
My life's so pitiful, but the future's so bright?
Well I'd look ahead, but it burns my retinas...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPoW19TUfg8
Become the conductor of the choir.
Class warfare
Sing with them.
I just sit there and guess if the singers will use my full name, or the short form, or my nickname. And then giggle stupid when they inevitably try to use all 3 together.
Throw heavy objects at their heads until they shut the fuck up, then eat the cake while they ponder where exactly they went wrong
The trouble with that strategy is, it'll only work once. If the goal is to never have a birthday celebration again, it works, of course.
Smile and clap the beat
the "Happy" in Happy Birthday starts on beat 3.5
The Happy Birthday song is 3/4 time actually and Happy is on beat 3, at least the one I know of.
yes I stand corrected. I was just thinking it was a grace bar and didn't think any further of it
Sit and grin?
Apparently it's not to grab a knife like you're gonna stab someone.
Fast clapping and loud high pitched toddler-like giggles and squeals always gets a fun reaction.
Panic.
Fight or flight.
Be glad it's just Happy Birthday. In Poland there is this weird tradition, where they'll sing for You 4 songs, just to irritate You. Nobody likes it, especially the birthday person but it still happens.
Ah, the tired looks at third one...
Ah, the hateful looks toward that one hyperactive person that began the fourth xD
Conduct them with my fingers.
Sigh loudly, roll eyes, scowl judgementally,
...just like Mom.
My manager suggested that the team would sing for me last year in a group meeting. I asked why and she said they should sing because it's my birthday. I had to look on the calendar because she sounded so convinced but it was several weeks until my birthday. Since that she has never suggested happy birthday singing again and I really hope it remains like that.
Crunk.
Smile, stare at the cake, and lightly bob your head to the song. If you don't feel awkward with eye contact, then you can glance around the room and look at everyone.
I get friends that also hate that song.
/s
I think I usually just clap with them
I put my arms out like I am receiving their energy and look them in the eyes with a crazed smile.
Wave your hands towards your face with closed eyes and your head high.
Look pissed off
Run?
Join in?
Clap and make unwavering eye contact.