Spyke
fedia.io

My plan would be "go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over"

65
lemmy.world

Lol. I'm screwed. My asthma makes any sort of cardio impossible after 5 minutes.

3
slazer2aureply
lemmy.world

If you can't beat the endless waves of undead may as well join them.

12
pawb.social

I mean yeah it would suck but why not at least run for the hills get a cutesy air bnb cabin and max out your credit cards on food and ammo?

6
ramble81reply
lemm.ee

I guess the better question is: why? To what end? Live out some doomer prepper fantasy? The world would be right fucked and you’d be out in the middle of nowhere by yourself which you could do right now without the zombies.

8

That's a really good question. I know "zombie apocalypse" isn't well defined, but it usually indicates a complete and total destruction of society. Even once the zombies are gone, there's no civilization to return to. It's not like a hurricane, where people start to rebuild.

Considering the post-post-apocalypse, I'm not sure it's a world I would want to be part of.

3

I mean I get that but with solar panels and some MacBooks you could have a good amount of time playing games with friends and fishing. No bills, no job job. Heck I don’t even like fish, or any seafood, but it wouldn’t have to be bad bad. Like it’s not my fantasy per se, I would miss civilization, but it sure beats death and in some ways beats capitalism.

2
fedia.io

Good questions. I don’t understand why some people are absolutely determined to suffer as much as possible and “live” through the inevitable hellscape that would follow the collapse of society. Just face reality and end it quickly.

1
pawb.social

I mean, you could try, but eventually someone will find you, probably arrest you, and tear down your home

1
Nalivaireply
lemmy.world

There is so much empty land in the middle of nowhere. If the goal is to never interact with society again, it is unbelievably easy to achieve.

1
pawb.social

Someone owns that land, because we've decided every inch of the planet is already owned

Human habitation is visible from space. There are parts of every government dedicated to just enforcing just this... Go out and try it, people are arrested for tents on this land, let alone homesteads

1

Nobody's looking into space that nobody wants. And people don't want space that can't be easily accessed. Win win for you.
But if you're determined to remain in US you can buy an acre of land in Alaska for like a thousand bucks, and then you can live there for as long as you want.

1

A cabin in the woods when there's zombies out there? You'd never sleep! I'd take my chances trying to find a compound.

1
lemmy.world

Stock up on canned food, ammo, batteries, fuel etc. Go to a cabin in the wilderness far away from everything. Check that I've got the essentials, realize I forgot something. Go back to town to pick it up. Go back to cabin, go back to town to print out some guides on how to preserve food, go back to cabin.

19
pawb.social

I was just thinking I would download Wikipedia, but I guess batteries degrade so printing probably isn’t a bad idea…

5

It is and has a Wikipedia subplot hence why I raise it. I also understand why no-one watched it in 2021. I certainly was not in the right mental space then.

3
lemmy.ca

Don't forget to raid your local police station/armory for riot gear and a shield!

1

Motorcycle gear, much easier to get hold of. Kevlar reinforced, better mobility and riot gear isn't designed for the types of hazards that zombies pose anyway i.e. thrown objects and weapons.

2
lemmy.world

Hole up in Costco for two weeks or so.

The rotting corpses who only hunger for flesh are going to be eaten by animals and bugs. Because they don’t have regular ways to maintain water balance for muscles they will atrophy and become immobile. They will pretty much be a non threat while I have plenty of food and shelter to last me.

16

I remember Neil DeGrasse Tyson explaining away zombies. Really took the immersion out of any zombie movies. Basically what you said, but more of it.

7

Many of the more modern and realistic takes have it caused by an organism that's gone endemic. Meaning anything or anybody that dies changes, regardless of if they were bitten. This provides a constant source of new zombies. In addition to the fact that other survivors are usually a bigger threat than the zombies themselves.

2

The power grid is usually one of the first things to go during a zombie apocalypse. Only the shelf stable food will be usable after a few days. That being said, there's plenty of space in the warehouse to hole up.

1

I’m going to assume the zombies are the result of a microbial/viral infection reanimating a cadaver. Those muscles aren’t going to stay functional for long, because the body is dead, systems have stopped etc.

I’ll just get enough water and canned food to survive a week. Just lock the doors and stay inside until the zombies outside stop moving.

14
nescreply
lemmy.cafe

I would go with 2-3 month, but after first one they shouldn't be all that dangerous. Zombies don't work unless they are of magical kind.

7

Buy a lot of toothpaste and toothbrushes.
And I would ask those hordes of zombie to brush their teeth before they try to bite me as I would not want to get sick and maybe contagious right before I'm eaten alive.

13
Sorolainenreply
sopuli.xyz

Do you have the means to reach this place? Lets say that you get the warning tomorrow, are you able to reach the island?

4
fedia.io

Is water really a barrier, though? Couldn’t zombies simply walk on the bottom of the lake? It’s not like they need to breathe.

2

Walking on the bottom of a deep body of water can make them get stuck very easily, whether in rocks or random junk. They may also have trouble getting back to the surface if they don't know how to swim

3
jordanlundreply
lemmy.world

Crater Lake is the deepest lake in NA, so even if they could make it to the top of the volcano, they'd fall down the inner side and end up at the bottom of the lake.

3
lemmy.world

Get gun, fishing rod and tackle, salt water filters, and those mre buckets bible thumpers are always selling on tv. Go to the marina and steal a keelboat. Dab on all the land lubbers still on shore.

11

What the hell, i'd probably be more useful doing that than just pathetically dieing by stubbing my toe running and getting teatanus or somethign.

2

Go online.

Research how many sleeping pills it takes to die.

Go out and buy them.

Spend time doing things I enjoy with people I like.

Crush the pills up into a drink and pound it.

Go to sleep.

Life's already hard. I don't need to live in a post-apocalyptic world.

10
lemmy.world

Living on an upper floor comes in handy for once, as it's actually fairly easy to barricade the front door. Alert some key close friends and family members who will actually believe me. Then stock up on canned goods, fill every possible thing I can with water, and grab some camping solar kits for power once the grid goes down.

After that? Hunker down. Avoid being clearly seen in windows or heard to prevent attracting the undead. I reckon I need to last about 6-9 weeks.

See, the thing is, zombies are going to die out. The average human can go 3 days without water and 3 weeks without food. Let's assume zombies have a magical lack of need of hydration, so they last 3 weeks. Double that for the time they'll have ample food. Assume another 3 weeks that they'll cannibalize each other or something.

At that point, I can begin to venture outside. Small numbers of capable zombies may still exist, but most will be dead or starving. Other survivors are my greatest worry.

7
dingusreply
lemmy.world

I didn't think zombies needed food or water or that they would "die". Isn't the point that they are already dead?

2

Depends on the zombie lore we are going with. Traditionally, yes but this could a rabies variation so they are hydrophobic. You don't want the Office Uprising variant where they are still somewhat in control.

2
fuzzzerdreply
programming.dev

other survivors

Have you seen/read the walking dead? Other survivors the concern.

2
fuzzzerdreply
programming.dev

Oops. I had a typo. I meant other survivors are the only concern. Even if the zombies aren't atrophied and withering, other people are the main concern.

1
midwest.social

That's exactly what they're saying in their comment. Other survivors are their greatest worry.

1
lemmy.world

I'd order the sweater with the text "the hardest part about a zombie apocalypse is pretend I'm not excited".

6
Mothrareply
mander.xyz

Extra fast shipping I guess, or click and collect somewhere

3

When I order nationally it ships today, arrives tomorrow. When I order from a neighboring country it takes 1 to 2 days longer. Just don't order from China.

2
lemmy.ml

Meh. Stock up on crowbars, axes, hammers, screwdrivers, etc. Drive into the hills and away from the cities, stock up on as much canned food and water I can cram into my tiny ass car. I don't have a gun nor know how to use it, but I'd probably try and kill a cop zombie at some point after the outbreak. Then only use it on myself if it looks like it be eaten alive.

Otherwise I'd try to live a quiet secluded life reading books, attempting to garden, fish, and trap small game animals. All while mourning my loved ones while waiting for the weight of the depression to finally convince me life isn't worth living in such a state. Hopefully that takes a good long while, but yknow...that's unlikely.

I'd likely die of starvation or dehydration before the zombies got me, unless we're talking sprinters...then no way.

I used to play Project Zomboid. The game mechanics make the learning difficulty high and you have to start from the beginning if you die...and there is no plot nor point to the story other than just survive in a world where you are the sole survivor of a zombie outbreak. It forces you into thinking like this often the longer you play. Amazing game, but very depressing.

6

Supplies and boat on a large body of water.

Wait for real life to kill zombies. Or for them to rebuild society.

6
lemmy.world

Realistically the military will eventually clear everything, I just have to survive the weeks it would probably take.

Id buy a bunch of shelf stable food, a wood burner, bunch of lumber for barricading, nails, portable batteries for keeping out phones charged, a big battery for the router (even when thr power is down, internet isnt), guns. A bunch of bottled water too. A bunch of hand sanitizer too to clean out hands constantly if needed

I think thats all I'd need to sit this out. I think the hardest part would be convincing family that theres gonna be a zombie Apocalypse

6

We going camping Boyz!

You only have 2 days before news finds out anyway. You can convince them somehow.

2

Stock up, stay inside, and wait for the zombies to die from either dehydration or starvation.

5

Assuming they're the type of zombie with no viable circulatory system to help stay warm, I'd relocate up to the Arctic for a while.

5
sopuli.xyz

Well... My health conditions mean that I am unlikely to survive long term after apocalypse. Even if no zombies get me. The first week would be fine, the first month maybe, but I wouldnt be alive to see the second year. I could try to do a camping trip to see if the "apocalypse" passes over quickly. If not, then there is no point trying to plan for long term survival.

5

I don’t presume to know your conditions but assuming you need some medicine, maybe you could buy some chemicals and make it yourself? But no sounds like a rough spot, wishing you well

2

Have two days of just absolute living it the absolute fuck up.

And buy a bottle of nitrogen and a non-rebreather mask.

5

I will join the army at last. My zombies are regular semi-slow ones, not magical.

5
lemmy.world

The number of people that would go to the woods makes me think that staying in a city would be a better option.

4

Yeah it really depends on a lot of factors, exactly what your city / suburb is like, and the nature of the crisis.

After a week or so of supply problems, a major city would be bereft of food. Unless everyone is dead, there would be a lot of desperate, nutty people.

On the other hand, as someone who lives in the country, the easy food here would get low to the ground real fucking quick even with just the local population. Like I can catch a feed of fish, trap rabbits, or even shoot a kangaroo, but these food sources would disappear in my area with even just a dozen people actively harvesting them.

I think that if I'm going to be hungry, I would definitely prefer to be so in the country just because at least you can get away from other people.

4

Depends on zombie. If it's not magical, how long would city water and power last without human attention? A human can only last so long without supplies and if there are, dense pops are going to be more dangerous than zombies trying to get them. Least in wild it's more stacked in your favor.

1
  1. Liquidate all my assets
  2. Spend that money on food, bottled water, camping toilets, medicine, etc.
  3. Barricade myself indoors
  4. Wait it all out
4

Time to go over my credit card limit buying shit for my home, mainly food and water. I wonder how long would electricity keep running.

At least I can pick zombie type, so only slow walkers like in the original Resident Evi or in Project Zomboid.

3
sopuli.xyz

Go shopping. Enough to last for a couple of months. Bring some water, as well. Buy some lumber to reinforce the doors. A few steel panels to close off a few strategic places. Raid the library.

Wait a month and allow flies and the weather do their thing.

See the not-so-dead fall apart.

After I stop seeing movement for three straight days, start blasting noise on a high visibility location from my location and wait to see what crawls out.

By this time, I risk two months have already elapsed.

Go out, with a shovel and an axe.

Dig a large pit, fill it with fire wood. Lay down a few of the corpses. Stack it as high as I can make it. Cover with more fire wood.

Syphon some diesel from a random car.

Light it up!

Rinse, repeat, until all the corpses I can find are disposed of, grouping together all the survivors I come across.

Start over.

3
Rednaxreply
lemmy.world

I recommend buying potatoes. Not for eating, but for planting. Preferably before you lock yourself in for a few months. And along with it, a book on how to farm your own vegies from the library.

1
qyronreply
sopuli.xyz

Potatoes are great. Low maintenance crop but it does require a lot of water. Sunchokes are a good option as well, for an Autumn harvest; keeps well in the ground. Down side is the winds.

I'd recommend getting some broad leaf vegetables seeds, like cabbage. My country has a variety that can be harvested leaf by leaf and just keeps growing and producing seeds, year after year. Some turnips, too. And some tomatoes and chillies. And beans.

3
sh.itjust.works

Thank you! It reminds me of the dinosaur kale I have in my garden now. Also able to pick leaves as you need them, and overwinters here well (BC, Canada). I’ll do some more looking into it!

1
qyronreply
sopuli.xyz

Can you give a link for that variety? Just the name is enough to get me curious.

2

Its real name is Lacinato kale, it’s my favourite!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lacinato_kale

Edit: I like to use this in place of spinach, in lasagnas, soups, salads. Nettles are another favourite. I forage in the spring, steam them to get rid of the sting, and then freeze them in balls. Then I just add a ball to soups or whatever when I need. Also can save the steaming water for stocks.

2

I'd learn to speak zombie. Doesn't take long, it's mostly throat noises. And walk like a zombie, just pretend a horse kicked you in the ass yesterday.

3
lemmy.world

Book a long, long transatlantic or transpacific cruise that is leaving today or tomorrow morning. Bring as much as I can carry and a life straw and bunch of filters.

2
Spacehooksreply
reddthat.com

Oof I dk. Stranded on a boat with random people could be dangerous. Maybe buy a small boat?

1
RBWellsreply
lemmy.world

I wouldn't expect to live long on a small boat in the ocean even under normal conditions - if we got away before the plague hit, it seems we wouldn't get it. I mean if me alone on a boat wouldn't, then we together on a boat wouldn't either. If you mean it's already in us and we don't know who becomes symptomatic, then I would isolate in case I was a zombie, hopefully with some sort of means to self destruct if so.

2

Don't need to go too deep. just hang out close enough that they can't get you. Unless they these boyz

2
reddthat.com

I'd post on lemmy what yall do with 2 days left. That way some folk can go get ready by putting thought in there head while im Ieaving city center to air bnb a cabin in a mountain somewhere and getting a EV and some portable solar panels.

2

God speed everyone. I wish I could say it was a good run but running hasn't started yet.

1

Fly with my family and friends to Antarctica, buy a lot of booze and supplies, assuming no smart zombies and that patient zero wasn’t in Antarctica

2

Id give up so fast, id maybe try to survive, but my plan would include getting bitten and somehow being immune to the brain damage making myself immortal, either that or die

2
lemmy.world

Bro we're already living in one. Might as well have some fun shooting zombies in your dreams instead of doomscrolling in reality.

6

I live near a number of gun stores, because America, and I have a realistic understanding of my capabilities. Now I'm not saying that I'm going to use the gun on myself, but the truth is I only really need to buy one bullet.

2

Get black market explosives so I can blow up my brains and don't risk becoming a zombie.

2

Like all the zombies on Lemmy... Slap them harder until they wake up and stop being zombies?

2

Lol ever see Peter Jackson's brain dead movie? Keep those plague rats away from the local monkey's!

1

If possible, just get in my family's van and get into a big enough accident that I die. I ain't living in any form of zombie apocalypse if I have the choice.

1