Banks will often have dye packs that can be mixed in with bills that are given to bank robbers. They're explosively rigged, so that when triggered, they will contaminate an entire large container full of bills. So the robber is just left with a bunch of weirdly dyed bills that scream "robbery money."

So, just for entertainment purposes, would it be possible to purchase just the dye used in those cartridges, or a similar dye?

And then imagine you took your own completely legal and taxed currency. You withdraw money right from your account at the ATM. So no actual theft is involved. You withdraw however much you want to dye, dye it, and now you have a large collection of purple money that screams "robbery money!" And then you just spend it as normal, casually handing what appears to be criminal evidence to random services, restaurants, and stores.

Would this be legal? Is there anything preventing you from dying currency, if there is no intention or act of counterfeiting? Can I just dye legal cash purple if I want?

If one actually did this, the obvious risk would be having the cops raid your house thinking you're a bank robber. But if you were willing to take that risk, maybe didn't have any weapons or anything illegal in your home? Maybe not so great a concern for some.

But in terms of actual criminal liability, would this be legal? Is there anything legally stopping you from making your town think you're a gangster who robbed a bank and somehow got away with it?

And the price? So good, it's to die for!

I know damn well what I wrote.

Need a new gig? Looking for a job with good pay and benefits that's easy to get? Don't need employment for more than a few months? Well ICE is hiring! And they're so desperate for people that their standards have been lowered all the way to the seventh circle of Hell.

So throw in an application and sign up for ICE. Then proceed to be the most incompetent agent in ICE's history. Show up late. Show up high. Arrive to raids late and out of uniform. Brag about your upcoming raids on social media. Just generally be the most unproductive, unhelpful, and incompetent ICE employee in history. Write elaborate equipment check lists and spend hours triple checking your load out before any raid. Be a net drain on the system. Have your incompetence be so great that your very presence actually zeros out the work of at least two other people. Become a black hole of unproductivity that drains the effectiveness and morale of everyone around you. Be the Colin Robinson of ICE!

They're so desperate for people right now, that they'll be extremely reluctant to fire you as long as you don't go full direct insubordination. If you refuse to follow orders, you'll get fired. If you're just colossally incompetent at carrying those orders out, you should get at least a few months of employment before they finally let you go.

"Oops, sorry boss, I was going to the bathroom during that last raid, didn't see anything. Shouldn't have had that burrito last night."

"Oops, I'm so clumsy. I left the door to the van open, and all the migrants we caught got away. Again!"

"What do you mean I can't refer to my coworkers by name when we're all masked up. That's just impolite!"

"Look, I thought I had the right address. How was I to know that address was actually the local Republican Party campaign office?"

The people of California will be united again! California will be whole once more!

So this is a fun thought exercise. Here I dig into my Catholic upbringing and try to make a stretched doctrinal case for why literally praying to St. Luigi might just actually make sense from a religious perspective. I'm no longer a practicing Catholic myself, so take it as you will. This is just me trying to stretch doctrine to see if I can argue that praying to a literal St. Luigi may actually be doctrinally viable.

Inquiring minds want to know. If one wishes to take things too far and take the "St. Luigi" thing literally, how can that be possible? Can you really pray to a saint for divine intervention, when that saint is clearly still a mortal man walking among the living?

First, on saints. There are official saints of the Church, but technically those are just the ones that the Church has decided that beyond any reasonable doubt are actually in Heaven. But according to doctrine, there are likely millions of saints, people that have reached Paradise and can intercede on mortal behalf. We've only had enough evidence, such as repeated miracles, to provide enough evidence for the official list. And the canonization process involves miracles attributed to unofficial saints. Usually someone will pray to someone that isn't on the official list, and when they receive some purported miracle, such as an unlikely cancer recovery, that is attributed as a miracle to that unofficial saint. In fact, the only way someone can become an official saint is if people pray to them while they are an unofficial one.

So, that's how one might pray to St. Luigi, even though he isn't a recognized saint. But what about mortality? The man is clearly not in Heaven right now, he's sitting in jail. How can one possibly pray to a living man for divine intervention?

But here's where the doctrinal loophole comes in! You see, technically, Heaven exists outside of time and space. Time need not work the same way there it does here. If the spirit of a saint can reach beyond the bounds of the universe to intercede on mortal behalf, they can also reach across time as well. Heaven exists outside of space and time.

So if one prays to St. Luigi, you are not actually praying to the mortal man sitting in a jail in New York. Rather, you are praying to his ascended soul, which has the ability to intercede both forwards and backwards in time. Maybe Luigi will be executed. Maybe he'll live a long life and die of old age. But when he does, he will ascend to Paradise and become a saint. And he can then answer prayers from anyone, in any place, in any time.

So yeah, if that's your thing, doctrinally, a case can be made that it is perfectly fine to pray to a literal St. Luigi!