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tattoos·Tattoosbydingus

Back with another placement question. Would the positioning look alright for this?

Hey all. Just looking for a quick opinion. I have wanted to get one final arm tattoo. Only my forearm and wrist tattoos are visible a majority of the time because I work in short sleeves and pants lol. I want something else visible for me to look at!

Here's a pic of the placement of all of my tattoos (outer ankle tattoo not visible tho):

The tattoo will essentially be three smaller tattoos in a row. Thematically, it fits in with my shoulder tattoo.

Here's a shitty scratch pic kind of trying to showing where I want it. I want to go inner bicep:

As you can see, one of my legs is tattooed. I am planning to slowly build sort of a patchwork leg sleeve over time with any remaining tattoo ideas. This would be the last tattoo to go on my arms. I don't plan on tattooing the other leg.

But the placement I want for this upcoming tattoo combined with the knowledge that I'm done with the arms and only planning to do one leg makes things seem rather unbalanced with shorts. I live in a fairly hot climate wh re it's shorts weather most of the year.

Idk is this too awkward to get or am I overthinking it?

Thanks lol.

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motorcycles·Motorcyclesbydingus

Halloween edition unlocked

I impulse bought an orange gas tank online. One of my many regrets in impulse buying my bike was that I wanted a brighter color lol. I really wanted the bright red, but only found dented ones for a reasonable price. Found this orange one instead and mashed the buy button lol.

Some follow up questions:

  1. How do I get last bit of fuel out from the old tank? There is still quite a bit swishing around even after I took off the fuel cap and fuel pump and poured gas directly from the openings. At the moment, it is just turned upside down in a pan hoping the remainder will eventually dry out/evaporate.

  2. How can I help prevent the old tank from rusting in storage? I'm not necessarily planning to use it again, but just in case.

  3. How the fuck do I get fuel to pour out of this gas can with a "safety spout"? Basically you push on the spout to get it to pour, but it only barely dribbles out that way. The red tab I think needs to be depressed or moved somehow but it won't budge. Any ideas? I just ended up removing the spout and pouring it directly out of the can via funnel

Bonus: Looking for some ideas to temporarily decorate the bike for Halloween! The bike is kept outside tho so it would need to be somewhat weather proof lol.

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mentalhealth·Mental Healthbydingus

I've been having a sort of "midlife crisis" and I don't know where to go from here. I don't know what I want in life. Would appreciate some perspective/advice.

I'm in my early 30s, so not necessarily "mid-life", but I think what I have been experiencing can be described this way. I went through a lot this past year, and it has both left some large scars as well as healed some other aspects and caused new ways of thinking in others. I've tried new things and enjoyed the things that I've tried.

But I feel like I need something "more", but I have no idea what that is. I keep getting caught on the horrifying realization of life being fleeting and I want to do something to make it more whole. But I can't outrun death so I don't know that anything is left to be done. But I feel like I need something to fill that space. I may in fact be chasing something that doesn't exist idk.

I guess I just feel a bit lost and would appreciate some direction.

More about me that may or may not influence your advice: I've always been a loner and the sort of "terminally online" type. I don't experience sexual attraction, so it sort of puts most options of relationships out the window. Asexual "dating" is not as prevalent or simple as you'd think. My career is very solid and I'm paid very well, so I'm not interested in switching careers. My career was a huge source of my trauma this past year, but I have made a lot of progress since and it's really not something I can easily change. I have discovered new and healthier forms of self-expression and have done new things. I own where I live and would not be able to sell it for as much as I paid for it either, which is another reason I'd be against moving. I am physically close-ish to family and visit every couple of weeks.

Thanks all for listening.

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motorcycles·Motorcyclesbydingus

My fucking license plate fell off!

UPDATE: Fucker gets the zip tie treatment. I zip tied the shit out of it so we'll see lmao. The springs are unfortunately too long for the reflectors with the springs. Also I think one of the main issues is that the washers that come with these reflectors are way too goddamn small for the hole they sit in on my bike. So idk.


I'm pissed af right now! Took the cover off to ride to work this morning and saw it was missing. I have no idea when it fell off.

I should have known this would happen...the plate would always get caught and slightly dislodged while putting on and taking off the cover. And the shitty thumb screws seemed like they could easily loosen with vibration. I have no idea why it doesn't have a more secure attachment point.

No idea how long it will take to get a new one either. At least I took the day off tomorrow morning so I can fuck around a bit. Looks like I can likely file for a new one at my DMV without a police report, but I might try to report it to the police anyway as per some other randoms on the internet.

When I get a new one, that fucker is getting fucking zip tied on this time. No more shitty thumb screws.

It would have been such a nice morning ride into work too.

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motorcycles·Motorcyclesbydingus

My motorcycle smells strongly of gasoline at higher rpms (and still a bit for lower RPMs). Where do I start troubleshooting first?

Hi all. Noob here back again. I got the screws out of the front master cylinder, but I have been having a different problem.

When under higher RPMs, the bike gives off a VERY strong fuel smell. It's still noticeable at lower RPMs, but not as bad. It didn't do this initially when I got it a few months ago, but I didn't ride it much initially.

Bike is a 2017 Honda Rebel 300. Fuel injected. No carb.

I noticed that the gasket to the gas cap was a bit cracked and distorted so I got a new gas cap. Didn't resolve the issue.

There are no visible leaks anywhere that I can tell.

The smell is very strong around the gas cap and engine, not so much the tailpipe. The bike seems to run great otherwise.

Unfortunately, googling seems to show this as a very nonspecific issue, so I'm a bit lost as to where to begin. I'm a huge noob when it comes to mechanical things.

Thanks!

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motorcycles·Motorcyclesbydingus

Stripped front brake master cylinder screws...should I take it to a shop or is it doable for a total noob without fucking everything up??

Hello. I'm a new rider who recently purchased a ten year old bike. I have ZERO mechanical know how, but decided that I wanted to learn.

So far I managed to take both the front and rear wheels off to get the tires changed and I managed to change the oil. Since I am unskilled, it took a LOT of fumbling through these to get things going...including breaking some nuts (rear axle nut was stuck and I originally only had a 12 point socket) and bolts (overtorqued an oil filter cover bolt despite using a torque wrench) and buying replacement ones.

Since the bike is 10 years old, I know that all of the fluids need to be changed. I feel comfortable attempting the actual change for the brake fluid from my research EXCEPT I don't want to irreparably damage this area. The front brake works fine, but the sight glass is totally clouded and opaque, so I cannot visually check the condition or level of the fluid.

These are JIS screws and I have purchased replacement screws. Any advice here? Please consider my novice skill level lol.

I bought some screw extractor bits but do not have an impact driver. I have some JIS screwdrivers, a hammer, a regular drill, penetrating oil, and replacement JIS screws.

Thanks!

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mentalhealth·Mental Healthbydingus

How the hell do you asses whether or not your psych meds are doing anything beneficial for you?

It's now my one year "anniversary" of my psych med "journey". I just feel so frustrated.

The providers always ask me how I'm doing and if I think X drug we are trying right now helps. I always have no fucking clue.

I keep a mood log and everything, but I cannot for the life of me discern any sort of pattern for any of these. One month will be fantastic and the next month will be so horrible and painful it's like someone is boring a hole through my body with a branding iron.

My provider is having me take the GeneSight test to figure out if there is a particular option I should be trying. But I am just so exhausted with this that I'm considering the next med to be my final straw.

I do NOT have bipolar disorder. I do NOT have chronic low mood. I do NOT have lack of emotions. I do NOT have PTSD. I have periods of extreme, unbearable intensity with periods of normal in between. I have relational trauma. Since my issues are intermittent, I cannot for the life of me tell if I am ever helped by anything.

I am currently in an intensive DBT program. While it has been a lifesaver when I have "simple" problems, it does not touch the intense pain of others.

Some research I do seems to indicate my problem cannot be even minimally helped by meds, which is incredibly frustrating. I want even just a little bit of something to help reduce my pain. :(

How can I figure this out?

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tattoos·Tattoosbydingus

My third tattoo - was going for a phoenix vibe

Obviously not a color tattoo so it can't convey it super well, but it means it to me and that's what matters.

I know my last one I posted had a decent amount of downvotes lol. From a technical and longevity standpoint, this seems like it is executed a lot better, but I still love both.

Edit: Oh I guess that one is a bit blurry. This one should be more clear. Not sure if this crowd will like this either haha.

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mentalhealth·Mental Healthbydingus

Has anyone here ever done an intensive outpatient (IOP) program? Just wanted to share my experience for those who might try it.

Just a sort of open ended question. I want to share my experience and am curious to hear of others as well. Sorry, this is long winded!

So my provider asked if I would be willing to try a therapy program that meets multiple times per week. I then got a phone call from the company about the specific details of the program. Holy moly! It was a program with 9-10 hours of therapy per WEEK (almost ALL of which is group therapy, not individual) and it lasts multiple months...guess that's how these work.

At the time (and maybe it still is), it seemed like a bit of an overreaction from her. And goddamn, the time commitment on top of working is just insane. To top it all off, the reviews of the company were absolutely fucking horrendous...couldn't find a single positive one and was beginning to think it was a scam.

But I agreed to try (after giving the admissions people a hard time lol sorry!). My first day I was absolutely pissed the fuck off of how absolutely fucking useless it seemed...until I got to the last hour...they gave us a bite-sized thing to chew on and try to apply in our lives.

Well guess what? They NEXT FUCKING DAY, I coincidentally by absolute chance had a major fucking mental health issue. I used the skill they gave along with another skill I learned on my own before the program and IT FUCKING WORKED.

So I figured there may be was something to this and kept attending. Each day I would get slowly less pissed off. I slowly was able to start reading between the lines and understand and appreciate the format of the program. I'm only a couple of weeks in now, but I don't regret wading further in. Am I "cured"? No. But it is helping me day by day to work on little things and little habits at a time to grow.

With commitment and the right mindset, this so far has felt more helpful than therapists I have tried to see once every two weeks for almost a year now. My provider told me that her goal for me was to finally get into a better place and theoretically need a regular therapist way less if even at all. And to reduce or stop having issues juggling various meds to see what might work...as the therapy would theoretically involve most or all of the heavy lifting.

Monetarily in the US, this sort of thing is not going to be accessible to everyone, so I'm grateful that I have been in the position to do so. These programs take insurance...but if your insurance doesn't cover enough, it can still be a great cost.

tl;dr - While this sort of thing isn't for everyone by far, I would honestly encourage people to have an open mind if you are ever referred to one of these things. Give it a bit and really try your hardest to be open minded, even though it can be very difficult.

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cat·catsbydingus

Update: Lester is a healthy boy :)

Was going to cancel the visit because he improved a lot but I took him in anyway because it was scheduled. Felt a little silly, but I'm new to FIV! They did some baseline blood work instead because he had never had any before.

I have been giving him lysine powder every day for the past week. Maybe that has an effect idk. The vet said I can just give that to him forever if I want and it shouldn't hurt anything.

Verdict is that he will likely always have one watery eye, possibly due to a mild anatomic abnormal. And he might have very mild allergies or very mild asthma which does not really affect his life too much.

But I guess he needs to lose 1-2 pounds so we'll work on that next! He also has some tartar buildup so I'll have to see if I can get him to use dental chews.

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cat·catsbydingus

FIV+ cat tips?

Hi! I adopted an FIV+ cat this past August. From reading online, I didn't think they would get sick too much more often than FIV- cats. I decided to adopt knowing that some might be turned off by his FIV status and knowing that I am lucky to be able to afford vet bills.

BUT this is the third upper respiratory tract infection he has had in 5 months. Each time, it doesn't seem to clear it on his own without antibiotics. I'm concerned he'll end up with antibiotic resistance over time if I keep doing this.

The first illness, he was given both oral antibiotics and eye drops for 2 weeks. The second time (several months later) his eyes weren't as bad and they gave me a supply of oral antibiotics only for 1 week (wish it could have been 2...didn't realize they only gave me enough for one). It's been a couple of months and he's sick again. I'm gonna take him in a few days if this doesn't start to clear again.

Some notes:

-He is an indoor only cat. I do not have other pets.

-He was swabbed for herpes one of the times and it was negative. One of the times he had a mycoplasma infection and the other time he was not swabbed.

-He was tested as FeLV- at the shelter. But I suppose if he had a very early infection, it might not have shown up.

-He mostly acts pretty normal during his infections thankfully (eating, using the bathroom, etc)...just maybe sometimes a tad less active.

-I'm going to start giving him lysine powder daily in his food (twice a day). The vet had me give it to him for the duration of the first infection, but I may as well just continue it forever since it seems fairly benign.

Thanks, guys!

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mentalhealth·Mental Healthbydingus

DBT therapy doesn't work (I read and practice skills for 30 mins a day M-F), meds don't work, consistent cardio doesn't work. Where do I even go from here? (long rant, sorry)

Quite frankly I'm just at a loss at this point. Been on the therapy and meds journey for almost a year now, and did the whole exercise shebang consistently for like 2 years. I was doing cardio for an hour every 1-2 days.

I am getting quite disillusioned and don't understand what I'm even doing anymore. I'm getting so caught up in various things that I'm just confused as all hell. Every time I think I figure something out, I end up so wrong it's almost like it's not even funny.

I have intense reactions to rejection. I have extreme and intense negative emotions that persist for many hours and days after a trigger and they are very painful and difficult to deal with and can impair functioning. I have a lot of social anxiety, which I did not think contributed much to this. But now I'm wondering if I have a pattern of social anxiety --> extreme rejection sensitivity --> extreme emotional dysregulation.

I have been on escitalopram (Lexapro), then lamotrigine (Lamictal), and now quetiapine (Seroquel). I do not have ADHD. I do not have bipolar disorder. I don't even have persistent depression. I have periodic extreme episodes that cause a lot of distress and can cause functional impairment like how my work threatened to fire me. I also have intense shame and self-hatred, often babbling to my online friends nonsense about how I'm a "demon" when I get this way. I am also totally normal 90% of the time. It's only the remaining 10% that causes the struggle.

People always tell me to "go to therapy". I am. I have seen multiple therapists and have been consistent with this one since the fall. People tell me I don't put enough work. I am. People tell me I am not honest enough to my providers. I am. People tell me try a different therapist. I have tried many (I stick with my main one for continuity and so that I don't have to keep rehashing my backstory).

At this point I feel like I don't know what is down and what is up. I no longer understand what my problem is anymore. Every time I think I figure out what my issue is, every time I think I figure out a technique to help me, I'm wrong.

I'm starting to think that this is who I am. It is unchangeable. I experience a lot of pain and sensitivity where others don't. I wish that wasn't the case, but I think it can't be changed.

Idk where do I go from here, friends? Thank you to those who have read my entire rant lmao.

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mentalhealth·Mental Healthbydingus

Am I a bad person? tw: sewer slide

I have been going through very intense workplace stress this year. Fuck up workplace relationships, threatened to fire me for having mental breakdown at work, yadda yadda yadda.

I have been in therapy, practicing DBT skills most days on the bus ride to work (other than TIPP bc idk how to do that on the bus), and taking medications.

I had a really bad spiral the past few days. I ended up inconsolable when I got home the other night (I live alone so no one heard me). I started trying to text/communicate with a billion different people, some of which we're my coworkers. I started texting them something akin to saying they will have a great time in the future and I appreciate them and goodbyes and whatnot. I said it because I was contemplating/really really just wanted to no call no show never come back into work (I work a professional job, not at like a Wendy's where it's expected).

I knew in the back of my mind that they could also view this as me saying goodbye before killing myself. I never ever said that outright but they panicked when I spoke vaguely and discussed with each other whether or not to Baker act me the next morning.

I have done this another time around the summer of last year. I feel embarrassed. I feel terrible. I feel like such a shitty person. But I was just in so much pain that I didn't know what to do. I was sobbing nonstop for hours and hours when I decided to do that.

I know I am supposed to use my skills. It is hard to do when I am on that level. It's hard for me to practice TIPP because it requires setup and is unpleasant and not accessible everywhere.

Am I a bad person? What do I do? They distance themselves from me because I am like this. And I knew it my heart it could be construed that way even though I was one of the most distressed I have gotten.

But I just don't know what to do with the pain. The DBT skills can help temporarily with intense concentration from me, but the moment my attention wavers from the distraction/distress techniques, the pain comes back. It's exhausting to focus that hard and I can't do it 24/7.

I am just so tired. It almost feels like physical pain all the time. And I always just feel so alone.

Thanks, guys.

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mentalhealth·Mental Healthbydingus

Today is a new day. Time to try again.

You can do it, guys. Another day is here and another day to try to make it through. All you have to do is make it through one day. Don't think about tomorrow or the next day or the next. Today is now.

Sometimes it gets exhausting to try and try again every day. That's ok. When those times happen, you can rest and hibernate a bit until you're ready to come back.

Several months ago I got a tattoo in a easily visible place for me. Some mornings on my way to work, I look at it and it reminds me to keep fighting.

I'm tired. But I'll try again today.

Good luck to you all. You are all in my thoughts. And the weekend is just around the corner. :)

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mentalhealth·Mental Healthbydingus

Please help me figure out how to actually **DO** therapy because I'm stupid (sorry, LONG)

I have tried therapy on and off for a while now. People would always get frustrated with me and tell me to "get therapy," but I never knew what I was actually supposed to be there for. And I tried a service like BetterHelp before (can't remember what this one was called), but it just sucked ass and I'm not sure if the people on there were even licensed professionals.

I finally started going consistently with this one therapist, but I frequently get frustrated with her for not giving me actual coping skills or techniques. One of her favorite things to ask me is "how can you deal with X?" And I get frustrated and say "I don't know." Because if I fucking knew I wouldn't be in therapy. She seems to do a more meandering talk therapy style thing with vague ideas of DBT and CBT thrown in there. She's not giving me enough skills to not get fired at work. She helped me go through a difficult time, but now that that's over, I'm back to square one.

So I found a therapist who specifically states she does DBT. Over time I have learned that my core issue is emotional dysregulation which is treated by DBT. She told me she follows this one workbook. I got the book. It's great! It gives you a zillion and one coping skills. But after having several sessions with her, I notice that she spends the entire time just going "in chapter 4, this happens. Then in chapter 8, this happens" while my eyes just glaze over. Today the session ended 35 minutes early because she only vaguely contributed to me talking about a problem I had today.

I have been seeing both therapists concurrently until my deductible resets in January.

I just am so endlessly frustrated with the entire mental health industry. I've seen so many different therapists. I've really tried to do any exercises that they have given me. I've tried multiple different psych meds (trying a new one now actually!).

Nothing works. Nothing has changed about me. I'm the same person with the same problems. And nothing I seem to try makes a lick of difference. I try so hard. I try a zillion different things...exercise, getting good sleep, eating right, therapy, meds...nothing changes me. Nothing helps me.

What in the everliving fuck am I missing? Do I have to go through 30 different therapists before I can find one that can help me? Am I just doing therapy "wrong"??? What am I supposed to be doing here?

Through all this, I've found that telling someone to "go to therapy" is almost offensive...it just absolves others from caring about you and makes it sound like you're not willing to do the base effort in bettering yourself.

Sorry for the long post and thanks for taking the time to read.

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