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What would you do/how screwed would you be if you woke up in the last game you played?

The Last game I played was Splatoon 3. It really depends on a few things, Am I an Inkling/Octoling? Do I speak the language? Where am I? In Splatoon lore all humans died in mass floods, so if I was still human I would probably be studied. Also, if I'm in the middle of the ocean I would be screwed either way. Assuming that I am in a major city or at least near civilization, and I am an Inkling/Octoling, and I speak the language, I would be fine. As for what I would do, I would sign up to work at Grizco, and once I have enough money buy a gun and participate in turf wars to gain money, eventually buying an appartment.

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167 replies

lemmy.world

Stardew Valley.

You know what? I’m okay with this. Sign me up, I accept.

32

Samsies and samsies. Mortgage free farm in a quiet town with a evil corporation to screw over? Hell yeah.

11

I'm playing fields of mistria which is basically the same so yeah I'm very okay with this

2
sopuli.xyz

Fallout London. It'd be an intense half an hour trying to open inaccessible doors before I'd crash back to safety.

12

Snowrunner, so yeah, same. Maybe I'd be lonely after a while.

3
lemmy.world

Happily married, with a brand new baby, living in a large house, on a well established farm, with financial security and steady income, plus a small fortune in extremely valuable wine aging in the basement, near a friendly town with lots of festivities, where no matter how badly I screw up someone will find me and bail me out so that I can get home or see a doctor.

12

Similarly, my egg farm has just hatched it's 10 billionth chicken that lays dark matter eggs whilst living in their own micro universe, my bank account is sitting somewhere in the vicinity of 80+ zeroes after the number, and I regularly send ships to space to hunt for artifacts.

I suppose I get to shoot down rogue drones while relaxing in an egg based utopia. I might have to deal with time cops at some point for using spliced timelines to make sure each egg is the highest possible quality, across all timelines that chicken exists in.

7

Minecraft Survival? Well, I wasn't playing on hardcore, so I guess I'd be alright.

Or, hmm, on my phone, Pikmin Bloom. A vast army of adorable minions to accompany me as we wander around Chicago in search of public art; not so bad.

12

Sometimes you roll the Katamari, and sometimes the Katamari rolls you.

12
sopuli.xyz

No Man's Sky. Pretty sweet deal, I think.

I'd just start mining random stuff to put together to make better mining gear to mine better and more stuff.

Then just get on my dinghy and explore the 'verse while looking out for a better dinghy. Maybe plop down a few bases on nice planets, rinse and repeat.

10

Same here! Infinite universe to explore, I'd find a cool planet to rip around in exocraft, build a nice cliffside base, chill in a space station if things get dangerous, would be a sick time!

3
lemmy.world

Baldur's Gate 3, I probably would be praising The Absolute.

9

Meanwhile me attempting the late game swoop on Mystra because Gale somehow managed to fuck up being the personal booty calls of one of the most powerful gods of the realm

2
lemmy.ml

I think you may have the fastest death in this thread. Average lifespan is what a couple minutes after launch tops?

3

Valheim. My homestead is beautiful and densely forested. I'm well equipped and have provisions for days. I'm good.

8
lemmy.world

City of Heroes (20 year old game). As an NPC, I would be screwed, as a player character, it would be pretty sweet at for the first few days before the lack meaningful interactions and the constant "work" started to get to me.

7

The game that almost ruined my marriage, lol.

Those 8 hour task force runs aren't going to run themselves, honey!!

5

Subnautica - I would be dead in minutes since I can't actually swim all that well in real life.

6

Drowning is probably one of the least worst things that can happen to you in Subnautica.

3
lemmy.world

I'd be a Starfleet Fleet Admiral in 2410, with a bunch of very OP starships under my command, so that would be pretty damn sweet!

6

You have to realize that sto with its "to boldly kill, once again, what too many have killed before" is actually the mirror universe. So it would be only time until someone with more ships will take care of you.

Maybe not so sweet after all...

3
lemmy.world

Deep Rock Galactic. It would be terrifying, but with some upsides.

"It ain't a gun unless it weighs at least one hundred pounds!"

6

Did I hear a rock and stone?

At least you'll always have supportive comrades!

6
sep
lemmy.world

Helldivers2 vs bots on lv10... dead in seconds. pretty screwed.

5

Luckily I just ran around my super destroyer to park it by the black hole, otherwise I'd be on a bug planet being launched back to my super destroyer by an impaler

2

Modded Minecraft. It's going to depend entirely on whether I can still search the various wikis.

5

There are 100% Minecraft modders who would figure out how to escape using some unfathomable redstone contraption.

4

Ghost of Tsushima

I dont know shit about how to fight so unless I woke up as Jin with the fighting experience I'd be fucked

5

Pokemon Go. I would be running from Pokemon I guess. Not too bad as for now I do have some resources, and the map is pretty good so everything would be where it is now.

5

Factorio, I'd probably survive and build a bunch of stuff. Oh, and try not to get eaten.

5

Pokemon Emerald? So long as I'm not the protag, life is generally OK. Aside from Team Aqua/Magma and the whole "causing disasters to expand the sea/land", I should be OK.

5

Deep Rock Galactic Galaxy's Finest!

I'm a greybeard with a crack crew but they get wreckless sometimes, and mining on Hoxxes is intrinsically dangerous. We don't always make it back.

5

Kerbal Space Program. So everything might be fine, or I might hit a mountain at mach 12, or I might be stuck on Moho forever hoping Matt Lowne joins Lemmy and can send the Blunderbirds to get me.

5

Trapped Joker: Until it is permanently removed from the game, deactivates all other jokers in the game.

2

Ace Attorney (nostalgia). I'm not weird enough to be a witness, the perp, or the wrongfully accused. If I was the victim I'd obviously be screwed. If I was a defence attorney my clients would be screwed. If I was a judge everyone but me would be screwed. Payne seems to make an ok living as a prosecutor although he sucks at it, I could do that. Or I'd just be one of those weirdoes cheering in the gallery, or an unremarkable resident of Japanifornia, which would both be fine.

4
kbin.earth

I played Noita, I'm utterly fucked no matter who or what I am

4
lemmy.ml

Ooo ouch, you might beat the Helldivers 2 chap for fastest death in the thread.

3

Helldivers 2, I am FUCKED. Unless I was on a Super Destroyer on my way to Super Earth

4

Football Manager. I would be fired, but everything else would stay the same.

4

Metro 2033... as long as I'm underground and out of harm's way, I think I'll be able to survive

4
lemmy.world

Tears of the Kingdom. Not bad at all, as long as I stay in places populated by the more friendly creatures. The worst thing about being stuck there is the choice between living in Tarrey Town, Hateno, or Kakariko. I could live a pretty comfortable life growing swift carrots or fortified pumpkins.

4
lemm.ee

I'd opt for Tarrey Town because I live near a place called Tarrey Town IRL and am sentimental like that, plus getting to build my own place instead of hoping I just became link and can take his and Zelda's house in Hateno.

5
lemm.ee

Maybe if my cheese obsession was a fish obsession

Alas, I'm pretty sure I don't actually have the ability to taste the Umami side of sea food, so I'm actually incredibly averse to it.

2

I'm not all that fond of seafood either. My preference for Lurelin is mostly a vibe thing. That crystal clear water in the inlet calls to me something fierce. And when I want to stock up on cheese, I can just hop on a boat and make for Hateno Bay.

sigh A man can dream. 😞

1
feddit.org

I played Outer Wilds, so I'd be pretty cozy, for about 20 minutes.

4

You get those 20 minutes a lot of times though!

2

FFXIV.

Would I be the Warrior of Light or some random scrub? Random scrub that world has godlike beings that just absolutely dominate your will just by existing, plus just massive monsters, and some terrifying organizations.

WoL, hooboy all the moments the story made me be quiet.

Another question is do I go as myself, or can I be a catgirl?

4
lemmy.world

Phantasy Star Online? I'd be in great shape! I could essentially play that game indefinitely.

4

dam, I loved that game on the Dreamcast, the colors and the music. The small room aspect was fine because dam that game was something special when it was new.

3

Guild Wars 2. It's not so bad. Just hang out in one of the cities. Learn some magic.

4

Mine is Hearthstone, so my life basically just becomes Yu-Gi-Oh? I have to wander around Azeroth getting challenged by weirdos to increasingly elaborate children's card game battles?

I typically make high legend on ladder though, so I guess I'm okay with this life.

3

Pokémon Sun. Basically Hawaii with better healthcare. I'll probably survive.

I'll be homesick for the extreme four season climate I'm used to before too long, though. I just got back from a trip to Hawaii, and even just a week of it was bordering on too long.

At any rate, happy to answer this question today rather than two weeks earlier. I'd be better off in Alola than trying to survive alone shipwrecked on Nauvis.

3

Warframe. Seems like there's some stability in some of the planets' different cities. I'm not far into the game, so I'm not sure what might happen.

3
lemmy.world

Cyberpunk. I'd be a corpslave... ain't no way I'd survive anything else.

3
Shoureply
lemmy.world

Till some gang, merc, police, etc show up. Or you know. You get sick and can't cover insurance.

2

Yeah but that’s safer than any of the other options. Just gotta get that Trauma Team platinum coverage.

2

I would be in Mario Kart... pretty sure I would look for Yoshi or Birdo at the lockers after, if you know what I mean...

3

Probably become a vegetable from the brain damage/concussions/broken spine. Rocket league.

3

FFXIV. I'll probably go to one of the cities to work as farmer or something like that. Doesn't look like they have a need for programmer there.

3

Pokemon, not bad could be much worse I was playing rimworld before that.

3
lemmy.ca

Strange Horticulture...I'm probably fine.

3

Plus the lake District is like the most beautiful place in the UK so you'll have nice scenery whilst you grow weird plants.

1

Elden Ring. Welp, at least I guess i revive on death now?

3

Stellaris. I was getting destroyed by an empire that wanted to terminate me. So not good 😂

3

TOTK. If I was a random villager I'd probably be OK.

If I was Link I'd die to the first red Bokoblin I encountered.

If I was Ganondorf I'd be twiddling my thumbs waiting as Link got sidetracked by side questing and "hey I bet there's something cool at the top of this cliff".

3

Timberborn. Humans died out and beavers are now the dominant species. So, I guess it could be worse..

3

Earthbound

I better call my dad and eat this cookie while my friend gets his trout flavored yogurt ready

3

Dynasty Warriors 8: Empires; it would really depend on if I were an officer or not, and then if I had a name or not. Best case scenario I worm my way into an out of the way post in the Wei clan and hold one mantra in mind: "Do not pursue Lu Bu".

3

I was playing Rogue Trader so unless I get to take over one of the PCs I'm pretty screwed. The 40k universe is not a friendly place. Even if I take over one of the party characters I'd probably still end up dead in some awful way. My character was a psycher so that's never a good idea if you want to remain demon free.

3

Starfield… Meh not sure if anywhere would be good because I have to walk to everywhere (until recently) and pirates are bothering me randomly

2

Lately, I have little time so the only thing I play is smash bros with my wife when she wants to. I would not fare well as "squishy desk worker man"

2

At least it wasnt Diablo 4, you get to die in a good game.

2

Space Engineers scrapyard scenario. So... Satreus has oxygen, so as long as I can scavenge a power source to power my suit recyclers, there's not a lot that'll be a problem. Wander around collecting stuff. Make a comfy habitat.

2

Farming simulator. So yea, pretty much the same as my daily life now

2

I have three lives, death match to the end. I think it would be never ending battles if I won. Super Smash Bros Ultimate.

2

Hearthstone. So... Fine? I guess? I'm in a StormWind tavern as a human, and if I die I can resurrect at the nearest graveyard. Seems fine to me.

2
lemmy.world

Shapez 2

It takes place in (outer) space so presumably I'd die pretty quickly.

2

I thought I'd be the only one mentioning this game. It's completely desolate. Only machines. One day the floor beneath you is deleted. You fall into the void.

Edit: I'm hopelessly addicted to the game. I've already played it for 40 hours.

2

Team Fortress Two. If I'm anywhere near the game's main locations, I'm dead. If I'm not... it's basically Earth. If I could get my hands on a medi-gun I'd be set.

2

College Football 25, I’m good, worst case scenario is getting the best job ever, fired college football coach

2

Splatoon 3 is also the last game I have played. I would be fucked, because I would die of a heart attack after losing a X rank battle.

2

The long dark.

Assuming the game mechanics are still in place? I'll be fine. Maybe I'll even live a few years on the Great Bear island.

However, if I am in that scenario with real world mechanics? I'm Fucking dead, so hard, so fast. Then again I guess the wildlife would be less aggressive and maybe people would actually be around. Still probably dead, though.

2

Minetest, backrooms test. I would not die, but being alone in the world, and walking monotoneous corridors would quickly destroy my sanity.

2

chess was the last game i played...i think id do fine. the last real game i played was the newest forza horizon game like 6 months ago...id also do fine lol

2

Spiderman 2.

I live in the suburbs of Chicago. Not much changes, except the super elite have some insane tech that might as well be magic. Oh, and I guess super powers are real.

2

Cthulhu: Death May Die. So I'll probably go insane while killing cultists and whatever unspeakable horror is waiting this time. Should be a good time.

2

Uh, technically the last game I played is this 2D puzzle: https://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/~sgtatham/puzzles/js/rect.html

So, with a bit of imagination:

I run for my life as walls and whole rooms shoot out of the ground in random locations.
But run where? There's a perimeter wall in all directions.
Eventually, I get trapped in a hallway. '5' it says on the floor. I can spot a '2' at the other end, before another wall slides up in front of it. The lights turn off.

A few more echos can be heard, before the lights flicker and a speaker drones "Completed!".

The lights turn back on, the walls and the '5' disappear.
A '3' reveals itself underneath my feet, and a '6’ right next to me. A wall shoots up between. What the hell do these numbers mean? And who operates this sick game?

2

Playing Eve Online as I post this.

If I'm a baseline human, I am screwed. If I am a capsuleer - well, I'm actually going to have to learn how to fly a spaceship "for real", but hey, at least I'm immortal.

2
lemm.ee

Do I get the ability to build things instantly like the protagonist of factorio? If I'm suddenly stuck on a planet with super hostile aliens and I have to build automatic weapons and flamethrowers from pure iron ore with my current skills, uhhh, yeah I'm in trouble.

2

The question is if you can make yourself some power armour before you choke to death in the smog filled hellscape you've built.

1

I'd have to learn how to appreciate body hair, as well as get better at dart tossing. Could be worse.

1

assuming im just me and don't have the abilities of runners then pretty screwed as last thing I played was the old genesis version of shadowrun. I have no cyberware or any real skills for the world

1

Forza Horizon 5, it's fine, I can drive a car.

1

Descent, because some asshole playing Asteroids came and blew up the asteroid I was playing in from the outside before I could destroy the power reactor within...

1

SWTOR, I'd probably be fine as long as I stayed away from the ops hangars until I'd found a good set of armor.

1

GTAV online - I would totally end up being screwed with all of the mayhem in the public lobbies. I told my wife I think we'd probably be an unseen NPC homebodies never setting foot outside and ordering from the Pizza place. :)

If it was the GTAV Story mode, I think I'd be much better off and be part of the beach groups as I love the ocean IRL.

1

Sable. I’d be good with it. Seems like a decent place to live. The jet bikes are rad and doing some sand fishing seems relaxing.

1

I played PlateUp. I guess I'm doomed to continually start a restaurant, only for it to fail as soon as one single person is unsatisfied.

1

Bad... Dark. Bleak. Lonely.

CoD MW III. I deleted it a few days ago…

1

No no no, I'd rather not be a three dimensional human in the world of Paper Mario. Bro turns into airplanes and boats. If they fold me like that, I'm in for a painful and uncharacteristic death in that game.

1

I'd be just fine. Perhaps I'll respawn once or twice but at least I'll have fun

1

Oh geez, I'd be in Silent Hill 1's Midwich Elementary School. I'm gonna have to fight the kids and roaches and the lizard boss to get out.

1

Core keeper, not too bad if I stay near the core and chill

1

Ace Combat 7, which has an A-10 that can somehow achieve supersonic speeds and 40 UGBs... really depends on how many ground targets there are compared to air targets, as it's not the most maneuverable.

1

Well I guess I would probably just stand very still, move forward one or two squares... and probably die. I guess if I ever move I might just stand face to face with a black dude until the end of my life.

Not sure how to feel about it tbh.

1

War on the Sea

Considering I'm a programmer with the physical characteristics of spaghetti, I'd be really screwed if I ended up on a USN vessel in WW2.

1

Let's see Horizon Chase Turbo, I would be fine because I would not be racing since they don't have electric cars in the game

1

Last game I played was astrodle, more or less an idle/clicker game but there is an end in which you become a god/goddess. Soooo I think I'd do fantastic!

1

Risk of Rain 2, playing as Artificer. If I survive long enough to get a few key fire damage items, I’m set.

1

Vagabond: Create a random Tarot card when a hand is played while you have 4$ or less.

I doubt I would even be bought from the shop most times. Unless I'm the player and not the most applicable joker, then having actual interest on 10$ might be a better life.

1

Noita, I am absolutely fucked before I even run into an enemy.

1

Last game I played was.. I forgor, but let's just say Final Fantasy XII almost a month ago, since that's my best guess.

The lead protagonist is a 17 year old twink with a cheese wedge for hair, and, overall.. not very strong. I can confidently say I'm a little stronger. So, can I survive in Ivalice? Probably.

In fact, I could probably enjoy it. Looming threat of an empire trying to gain control over my home? Big whoop. I'm killing tomato guys. Adjusting may prove a little difficult, though. Distant past, and all.. but, hey. Airships. Magic. Being Captain Basch. What am I losing here? Not much.

..I daresay this is an improvement.

..But let's say I'm transported to Horizon. The other recent play. Spoilers.

Within the context of Horizon, it's literally this universe in the future. This bodes well. However, giant fucking metal animals. Perhaps Aloy could turn me into an adept fighter, I don't know. Still.. giant fucking metal animals. I died a lot in the game, and, therefore, assume that's most universes. Aloy, though, doesn't seem like the type to brand me a curse and burn me at the stake. I live!

I exist as a very, very rare "Old One" who actually lived in the past and isn't a psychopath.. completely.

Being an Old One, I hold knowledge. Lots of knowledge. The Focus existing gives me access to a level of technology that I should have no business messing with. I'm brainrotted and need therapy. Certainly an interesting addition to the world.

I assume I drop within the latest existing point in the universe. So, Londra is dead, thank fuck. Most immediate threat, vanquished. Issue: Nemesis. I don't even know what Nemesis is, but it sounds.. cataclysmic. This is slightly stressful. However, the power of the third game existing, and definitely having an ending where you beat Nemesis, will provide peace of mind going forward into this unknown. That's right, Sylens. Aloy was right to stay. I'm the genius, now.

I could also get down with this. Not as comfortably as FFXII, but possibly more fun. The future is yesterday! A mix of distant past and far future. Interesting.

1

You mean I can okay modded Cities Skylines and be mayor at more than 29 fps? Sign me up!

1

Factorio. I don't know how to build machinery from scratch so I'd be pretty fucked.

0