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20 and don't know how to enjoy life anymore — is that normal?
You should not be day trading. If you are going to stick with it you need to switch to paper trading for at least a year. Odds are you are not suited to it, very few people are, it is generally an extremely difficult way to make money that the vast majority of people who try fail at. Especially at 20, your brain is not even fully developed yet. You absolutely should be enjoying life, right now you are wasting it on dumb bullshit. Open a Roth IRA and try out buy and hold investing, and make sure you learn modern portfolio theory before you go taking on extreme risks again.