Spyke

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Customer: Why is there so much latency over my tunnel from us-east to us-west?

Me: checks latency seems pretty normal, what's the issue?

Customer: The latency is too much. Why is it not as fast as us-east-1 to us-east-2?

Me: They are near each other. Us-West is across the entire United States

Customer: Make faster

Me: This is the speed of light. And over copper it's about 2/3 that

Customer: hmm are you sure that's as fast as it can go?

Me: Well, unless we change the laws of physics your not going to get any better latency

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Essay

But if I edit the word doc in notepad and rip out some of the metadata to corrupt it, I can submit it now and have another week to procrastinate before actually starting.