I can personally vouch for Fernando, he's good

*aisle sorry

Around the north American eclipse in 2024 I learned that it's purely by complete chance that the sun and moon appear the same size from an observer on earth.

That's fucking wild if you really think about it.

They can enjoy my fucked up mess of pipewire config I guess. Well, no, because I don't use ali-express

Wild guess here, and I'm not super clear what a maelstrom even is but I know it involves the sea, and those are the Cliffs of Moher in West Ireland. Perhaps the maelstrom has something to do with their origins?

EDIT: well silly me, those cliffs are millions of years old so the date here wouldn't line up. Idk then, perhaps that's when the family immigrated and the hypothetical maelstrom is intended to mess with the timeline, meaning OP is saved from Missouri.

EDIT2: Fatal mistake, OP - the maelstrom did not deal an effective enough blow, but you did fuck with the timeline just enough that you are now sentenced to life in Louisiana! Better luck next time!

Pairs well with a juicy mango

Most sites can tell if you're using a VPN. It depends on the site, but this can cause sites to treat your visit as suspicious and throw up their defenses. This includes use of CAPTCHA. Some sites (e.g. Reddit) don't work at all if your traffic exits from a known VPN.

It is searchable with Kagi

But I love my Instant Komodo Dragon®️ Just add water! ™️

Some states (such as mine) don't have early voting or vote by mail.

Nope, but someone was one of the lucky 10,000

I post a lot of jokey, satirical, and unhinged reviews on google maps. One time I wrote an entire rap song about a taco bell and left that as a review.

Regardless of the content of the review text, I'm giving places 5 stars - unless they're actually bad and deserve less.

If this were the solution I would think you'd have to be constantly updating borders. Even if you ignored the inevitable conflicts which would arise of this, this solution itself would spur a certain amount of migration. (Thinking of the current trend of MAGATS moving to cultural "safe-spaces", places like Florida and Texas.) This kind of radical border redrawing would accelerate these pre-existing trends IMO.

That tracks

Depends where you hit

Hallowe'en on its own provides a significant strategic advantage. The closeness to elections is a bit sus though

"Now that's a name I haven't heard in a long time" -Saint IGNUcius

"Clearly, the moon is fake and gay"

It certainly can