How come you went without for two days?

Oh no :/

I explain why in the post I made just before this one.

Thank you. I feel so sad right now. And bad that I feel sad. I want to be a happy positive force. A light worker like people in my family. But I’m just a disappointment and I stink.

I never liked the quiet before…

Wow that’s amazing. I think I might have UC. Did it help your symptoms?

What’s TPN?

The planets and the stars probably

Thank youuu 💜

And I’m sorry if I offended with saying “natural woman” I think it comes from comparing myself a lot and seeing my bubbly and confident sisters and then how opposite I feel.

I dont feel like I engage in femininity or connected to my womanhood etc. and I feel like part of that is because I don’t have much motivation to like maybe my sisters might… so I wanna take hrt in the hopes it will change that.

Do you know what triggered the cramps?

Just messaged my gp last night about getting them checked.

Yh…I’m just hoping and willing to try this. If it can make assigned males at birth look and feel like women then I’m sure it will have a positive effect on me you know?

How long do you think you could go without water as well as food?

💜 I always intend to do basically that but always end up just grabbing my phone. I feel so disconnected to life that I don’t see what the point getting up out of bed and on my feet is. Directionless. Disconnected from my emotions and terrified of being vulnerable to do so. But hating myself and my life for not.

It’s like everyone else (around me) has a natural drive and I don’t know my place.

I will try harder to just be thanks to your encouragement:)

I don’t think so…

Make me feel more comfortable in my own skin through giving me hormones I may be lacking.

That could be a complete game changer.

Yep. Last night I messaged my gp asking for a hormonal blood test.

I applied to Boots but doubt they’ll accept so might see if my mum will let me use her details…

Not too sure the right avenue when it comes to DIY

I have done counselling with a few different counsellors but I think it’s probably mainly a somatic issue.

I’m sorry that you feel this way too…

I just wanna fit in

My social skills are horrible(even considering neurodivergent people which I definitely am) so going out and talking to someone about that irl isn’t really going to happen.

I’ve looked up a few potential suppliers online and no luck yet.

Can’t see myself going out the country let alone out the house for it lol.

I guess I’ll just wait for my gp to get back to me on the hormone testing and hopefully get prescribed it that way.

I got diagnosed ADHD last year and have been referred for autism assessment so my mental health situation is known to the GP for these things among others……

I have fat thighs and breasts…

And I poop out eggs

I just got my period so it was most likely due to PMS/PMDD

I’m not planning or preparing

OMAD for 8 years is amazing.

I don’t think it’s at the expense of my own health since I feel better for it and I am drawn to it for a reason. It feels healing. There’s so much food noise for me it’s practically all I think about and I hate that.

I suppose I feel the need to hide the fact that I did this. It feels too indulgent and it’s too much of a consistent thing for me, bad habit. I’ve never dry fasted that long before though.

Doing what I’ve just done feels like I’ve just diseased myself and put my family in jeopardy. Sounds dramatic but eating in this state feels wrong. I don’t feel truly grateful as I know I could be. I understand how this could sound damaging but it’s my truth. I feel sick and like I’m not letting my body properly heal everytime I eat or drink something.

Ok