So for those of you who aren't paying attention. This guy is called Nick Sherley.

He made multiple videos accusing daycares in Minnesota of engaging in massive financial fraud. He says democrats and the media of covering it up. Millions of americans genuinely believe him.

It's making me really angry.

Because he isn't a real journalist. He is a liar.

First, what Shirley allegedly “uncovered” is bullshit. This is not some new scandal.

MPR News has reported about fraud at child care centers for more than a decade

https://www.mprnews.org/story/2015/09/29/day-care-center-raid

In 2022, the Biden administration began charging defendants in connection to a program aimed at feeding hungry children. Merrick B. Garland, attorney general called it the country’s largest pandemic relief fraud scheme.

https://www.justice.gov/archives/opa/pr/us-attorney-announces-federal-charges-against-47-defendants-250-million-feeding-our-future

In 2024, a Somali-American denounced fraud in Minnesota

https://minnesotareformer.com/2024/07/17/a-somali-american-investigator-heres-why-youre-hearing-so-much-about-fraud-in-my-community/

The same year, the press reported fraud in Minnesotta Health Center:

https://minnesotareformer.com/2024/09/17/a-former-autism-center-employee-tried-to-report-fraud-to-the-state-nobody-responded/

In january 2025, Governor Walz announced a new task force to pursue fraud cases

https://www.mprnews.org/story/2025/01/03/tougher-penalties-ai-technology-tim-walz-plan-combat-fraud

His claim that the press didn't talk about this is an absolue LIE.

Dude tried to walk into day care centers as a random dude who doesn’t have kids enrolled in said day care center, and when he got denied he claimed it was fraud.

This is not journalism. He didn't uncover anything. Pure horseshit.

And yet here’s another critical and substantive point that Shirley entirely ignores.

Donald Trump has personally granted clemency or pardons to at least two dozen individuals convicted of fraud totaling well over one billion dollars.

None of them are Somali. Nearly all of them are white. And this fraud has also been well reported, meaning Shirley and his supporters are either willfully ignorant, or deceptively censoring it. Among them include:

• Trevor Milton, founder of an electric truck company, was convicted of securities fraud and wire fraud and ordered to pay $676 million in restitution.

• Ross William Ulbricht, founder of Silk Road, was convicted of running a massive criminal enterprise facilitating drug trafficking and money laundering and ordered to pay nearly $184 million.

• HDR Global Trading Limited, operator of a cryptocurrency exchange, was fined $100 million for violating anti-money laundering laws.

• Lawrence Duran, owner of a Miami-area mental health company, was convicted of healthcare fraud and sentenced to 50 years in prison with $87.5 million in restitution.

Trump pardoned them anyway

Just because you have a camera and scream "FRAUD" doesn't mean you are a real journalist.

It is a tale as old as time.

Is this thing still on Reddit? If so, tell me about it

Laziness. How about a TIL or FYI post in the community one was going to ask the easily answered question? Ya know, for others who may be wondering the same thing? Adding to the discourse of a community? Actually contributing something?

Naw. I’m going to have someone else do it for me. Can you back that up with studies or other primary sources? I’m having a hard time believing you.

Thaaaaanks!

Someone: "Guns shouldn't be sold like candies. Perhaps they should create a permit or something. Why not limit "

American shows up: "MUH GUNS RIGHTS SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED. WHAT PART OF SHOULD NOT BE INFRINGED DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? EVEN CRIMINALS SHOULD HAVE ACCESS TO GUNS. IT SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED"

Canadian: Why does the US Senate require a super-majority (60/100) to legalize abortion? Why does the US Senate require a super majority (60/100) to reduce drug prices? How can empty states block stuff like that? In Canada, we just did this with a simple vote in the House.

American shows up: "THIS IS CALLED THE SENATE FILIBUSTER. IT PROTECTS OUR SACRED CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS. 60 OUT 100 SENATORS PREVENTS DICTATORSHIP. WE ARE NOT A SHITHOLE LIKE CANADA"

European: "Why do people who have 10 or 20 speeding tickets don't lose their driving license? Wouldn't this reduce car crashes and save lives?"

American shows up: "FUCK SPEED CAMERAS. THIS IS ANTI-CONSTITUTIONAL. THIS IS AGAINST WHAT OUR FOUNDING FATHERS WANTED"

I'm tired. Americans are the most conservative people I have ever seen. It's like they are against any improvement at all to their country. They don't realize how extremely conservative they are.

im 19, trading for 8 months. Learned an expensive lesson about greed this week.

I started with intraday trading first. Had a good run for a while, but I wasn’t disciplined about stop losses, and eventually gave a lot of that profit back. Switched to swing trading about 3 months ago, thinking a slower pace would suit me better.

For a while, it worked. I was recovering at a solid pace, felt like I’d actually learned something from the intraday phase.

Then three days ago, one greedy decision wiped out 15% of my capital again. Same mistake, same cycle, just a different strategy this time. No stop loss discipline, held on longer than I should have, convinced myself “it’ll come back.”

It didn’t.

What gets me is that I know the rule. Set a stop loss, respect it, don’t let one trade decide your month. I just didn’t follow my own rule when it actually mattered, again.

I’m not looking for stock tips. I’m trying to understand the psychology side of this, because clearly the technical knowledge isn’t the problem, my execution and discipline is.

For those who’ve traded longer than me, how did you actually fix this in yourself? Was it a system, a rule you forced on yourself, or did something just click after enough losses?

Genuinely trying to learn from this instead of just moving on and repeating it a third time.

im 19, trading for 8 months. Learned an expensive lesson about greed this week.

I started with intraday trading first. Had a good run for a while, but I wasn’t disciplined about stop losses, and eventually gave a lot of that profit back. Switched to swing trading about 3 months ago, thinking a slower pace would suit me better.

For a while, it worked. I was recovering at a solid pace, felt like I’d actually learned something from the intraday phase.

Then three days ago, one greedy decision wiped out 15% of my capital again. Same mistake, same cycle, just a different strategy this time. No stop loss discipline, held on longer than I should have, convinced myself “it’ll come back.”

It didn’t.

What gets me is that I know the rule. Set a stop loss, respect it, don’t let one trade decide your month. I just didn’t follow my own rule when it actually mattered, again.

I’m not looking for stock tips. I’m trying to understand the psychology side of this, because clearly the technical knowledge isn’t the problem, my execution and discipline is.

For those who’ve traded longer than me, how did you actually fix this in yourself? Was it a system, a rule you forced on yourself, or did something just click after enough losses?

Genuinely trying to learn from this instead of just moving on and repeating it a third time.

I am an American.

That fact comes before all other aspects of my sociopolitical identity; and yet, all those other aspects now come under self-scrutiny.

America is 250 years old today, and on this day, I feel the need to look in the proverbial mirror and ask myself:

“Who am I?”

In these polarized times, I’ve tried to be a centrist; to take aspects of both sides and combine them into something that represents me. However, I fear that, with the right & the left in America having become so incompatible with one another, that may not be possible anymore.

In the past, I considered politics little more than entertainment; something interesting & amusing to watch on TV and read about in books & online. In addition, I spent 9 years, from the age of 9 to the age of 18–very much my formative years—in a place that was very much to the political right. Because I am a straight (for the moment, anyway), white, male, blond-haired, blue-eyed, citizen-born military brat, I was & am perhaps insulated from the more objectionable aspects of the American political right. In addition, my family has been right-of-center for as long as I can remember. It is for these reasons that, when it came time for me to cast my first vote, I chose to vote Republican, and did so right up until 2025, when I voted Democrat for the first time.

I am not as politically ignorant as I once was. I recognize that the United States of America in 2026 is flawed, and deeply so. I recognize that those in power in Washington are making life difficult for so many of us, and I recognize that I have been largely spared their attentions both because I am not an ethnic or sexual minority, and because my status as an American citizen is not in question.

And I recognize that, perhaps, I can no longer in good conscience consider myself politically right-of-center.

I see what the political left promises & advocates for—no-cost healthcare & education, equality between ethnicities & genders & sexualities, the preservation of the natural world—and I genuinely believe in the good of these things, especially as the political right seems to largely believe in the precise opposite.

I’ve visited some of those countries which have adopted leftward social policies—in particular the Netherlands & Denmark—and I’ve liked what I’ve experienced there.

And yet…

I remember history; I remember what China and Russia and other countries that adopted socialism & communism were like: Stalin, Mao, Ceausescu, Castro, Maduro, and so many others who adopted these policies are responsible for the deaths of hundreds of millions between them.

There are also those aspects of capitalism & the right I still very much align with:

-I like money; I like making money and spending money on things that make me happy, and I like how capitalism has resulted in no small amount of things to spend money on.

-I like guns & other military things; I support the 2nd Amendment, consider most gun control laws illegitimate, most of the family owns guns, and the first 15 years of my life were defined by the military.

-I admire the ultra-rich; I’d like nothing more than to have a mansion & a supercar & a private jet & more money than I could spend in a thousand lifetimes.

-I hate taxes with every fiber of my being, and consider the IRS an instrument of government oppression.

-I think AI is pretty damn cool; I can’t draw or paint or do visual art for shit, so AI art is a great way to depict what’s on my mind. Also, it’s better for getting a straight answer to a given question then searching thru a dozen conflicting browser results.

It’s clear that the political left is on the rise again in America, and I would be quite surprised if the Republican Party retains the presidency or Congress after 2028. I just want to have a place in the America to come, but not at the cost of those things I hold dear to me.

So…what do I have to do?

No AC when it's 100 degrees outside. No running water because our pump needs power. The power company keeps moving back the estimated repair time while the number of customers without power only goes up. I'm so fucking bored and my phone's battery is at 47%.

I don't believe you when you say you just listened to a genre of music in your small hick town and you just ignored R&B, Rap, Hip Hop, House, and anything that's Afro adjacent including Jazz. I don't. I don't believe you when you say this when we're talking about Stevie Wonder. I don't believe anything on what you say when you say that tired ol excuse.

I lived in fucking Spring, Texas. Do you know how much country I had fucking HEAR in ear shot? I didn't write it off as just Country Music, I took note of it. Blake Shelton. Kenney Cheesney. Toby Keith. Tim Mcgraw. FUCKING RASCAL FLATTS.

You probably didn't listen to it because it's not your scene and you just didn't care until it was time to care about black music when it became impossible to ignore. That's fine. I am okay with the idea that you, a white person who has pronouns that are (it/its) in michigan of all places you had to make your own space.

That's legit fine. The white guy who works at my job who works in a cubicle doesn't fuck with rap because he's from Ohio who wears cowboy boots, belt buckles that has rodeo on it. That's fine.

I am okay with that. It doesn't shock me in the slightest. It doesn't offend me, it offends me that you as my friend, someone who I play DND is going to lie to me about who you are as if I couldn't handle it due to my own sensibilities.

I’m nowhere near as smart as I was when I was 15. This thing with mispronouncing words and getting sentences wrong happens to me all the time now and I find it so much easier to communicate via text than actually speaking. Most of the time I feel like I don't know what's going on and I actually thought today was Wednesday! Hooray for ageing! I miss teenage me.

It's always the same story. You order something from a website, had your guard down, miss the purposefully easy-to miss button to refuse sharing your information with Shop.app and then BAM. On the next screen thanking you for your purchase you see a notification that says "We've saved your payment information with shop.app" and realized that you've been dark patterned into doing the online shopping equivalent of catching herpes.

Now they have your e-mail, your phone number, your address and your credit card information saved and easily accessible to anyone who hacks your e-mail or their databanks. You have to go to their website, log in with the credentials they stole from you and request for your account to be deleted. But if it took seconds to create the account, somehow it takes them 30 DAYS to delete the account. The dumb thing too is that there is no real way to tell if they truly deleted your account because if you try to log in they'll ask you for your e-mail and phone number, which they will use to create a new account without your permission if didn't exist before.

Those are blatant predatory practices and if it isn't illegal, it absolutely should be. I really hope they get hit by a giant crippling class action lawsuit. Or a train, whichever happens first.

Mine got flagged because the last time I moved my new address was added to my voter registration and my old one was not removed, so the election board got a piece of returned mail and put a flag on my profile.

Could be something weird has happened with yours and you don't even know it, so make sure to check your registration status with your local election board ASAP.

had a job interview. 2 large group exercises to assess team dynamics, then I interviewed for 2 different roles. Everyone there was nice, but:

1. can't stop feeling bad for the one interview that i definitely floundered. The first one seemed to go well but given how much i tripped over my words for the second one, it makes me think the first one went badly? Also got the sense

2. I can't trust people being nice to me. It makes it feel like a big prank is being played on me and my entire reality is simulated / organised for some reason.

its kind of tough to be in one hall surrounded by other candidates competing for the same positions as you. Man.... But maybe that's better and I just have no stamina for job interviews.

I need to apply for ~500 more jobs this summer, just in case, but it leaves me really drained.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/48778576

I cant help but recognize patterns in certain things, i have jumped into some rabbit hole i know i will never be able to climb out of now, many of these truths are something you think only a crazy person would believe, i dont believe im crazy, but i mean, shit dude... idk anymore. Like, iv lost some "friends" over this, but cutting those Hylics off was probably better for me anyway. Iv lost pretty much everyone, im tired of saying "i enjoy my solitude" the truth is that im just a lonely bastard, i cant connect with people, i cant stand talking to these golems who have no nuance, black and white thing, who only react to thier thoughless emotions. I find myself feeling as though i am talking to a meat husk than an actual conscious living soul. I dont want to talk about the current thing, i dont want to do whatever everyone is doing, i dont want to conform to your idea of what is acceptable and tolerable. You have no soul, you have no true principles or values and morals, they dont even practice thier religion wholeheartedly. Every opportunity to climb that social ladder, to be liked, to bask in the acceptance of other soulless idiots. They are the majority of the population, and they are mostly responsible for all the evil in this world. Even so, i wavering, even though i know this, im so lonely i sometimes am willing to ignore this to have some kind of companionship. Im not sure if im strong enough for this. I hope when i post this, i csn breath better.

So, I've always had gender dysphoria even when I was 8, since I really loved the idea of wearing my dad's clothes or anything labeled "men's"/"boy's". I wanted to hang out with the boys, couldn't fit in with girls, etc. When I got my hair cut, I thought I'd look more like a boy, so it made me happy. This was before I even knew what transgender was. I used the word "tomboy" because that's what everyone called me and what I thought people like me were. But "girl" didn't feel right. And I HATED being called "femme"/"feminine". I only became comfortable with femininity after I was sure I was a boy and seeing myself as just a boy who likes being effeminate.

I always wanted to be like a strong, manly hero. Or just a man in general.

Anyway, when people kept calling me a girl and stuff, I detransitioned (desisted). But, of course, the dysphoria kept coming back. Anyway, I thought I was a lesbian and couldn't see myself with men, especially due to how I was treated as a woman by men. I couldn't fit in with girls who gushed over guys and wanted to be their girlfriends.

Well, ever since I rediscovered myself, I at first thought I was straight, and maybe my brain can't accept being straight or what, but I was thinking that I didn't care honestly what gender they were. I've been thinking a lot more about male characters in a romantic way and I'm even starting to find one of them hot again like when I used to yumeship with him.

I won't go into too much detail, just in general, I've even been interested in fanfiction with two men (yaoi/BL) and while they made me uncomfortable while identifying as a woman, I'm sorta fine with it now??? People (usually friends) have asked me to write stories or do art for them, and since most of my friends are women who like yaoi (and are comfortable with being women), most of my art/writing is MLM. I actually enjoy doing it and it inspires me to do more.

I still consider myself to be ace, but it seems more like while I might be pan/bi-oriented, I feel physically attracted to women to some extent (but I don't really fantasize about doing anything) and IDK about men since they obviously don't look like cartoon characters, but IDK. But I definitely feel something to male characters, and I sometimes pretend I'm another character ruffling his hair or something or waking up next to him. It's weird, though, because I don't feel anything for now or fantasize about anything even more romantic like making out or kissing.

So, I need to see a psychiatrist and I'm quite young. Therefore, I can't say for sure that I 100% have BPD. However, I suspect it. Other people say I "act like" I have it. The closest people to me who understand me and aren't driven away are also suspecting themselves to have BPD or have it.

I've always been super intense, though. And I'm very calm and stable around people I'm not attached to, by the way. If I wasn't attached to you, you'd never suspect me of having that disorder.

However, it's a whole different story when I AM attached. You'll see a completely different side of me. I'm working on it, but I feel the need to talk all the time and be around you like a drug. If it gets too intense, I'll feel upset that I'm NOT you or not fused with you in the same body. Yes, I know I need help, but I'm just sharing my experiences and seeing if anyone can relate or provide insight.

My friend with medically recognized BPD says it sounded a lot like him, especially when he first started noticing the symptoms.

He told me to look at the DSM, but I won't self-diagnose obviously and say I 100% have BPD because "Dr. Reddit" told me.

"Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment (Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behaviour covered in Criterion 5)" - Yes. I have abandonment issues and am obsession-prone.

A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterised by alternating between extremes of idealisation and devaluation - I'd say so. I can switch between, of course, wanting to be part of you, but it stresses me out so much that I also find reasons to think you're a mean person who hates me or others.

Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self - Yes. I always had a "fragmented"/"fluid" sense of self.

Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g. spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating) (Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behaviour covered in Criterion 5) - I don't think so.

Recurrent suicidal behaviour, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behaviour - Suicidal ideation. I used to guilt trip others or post how I was gonna do something bad to myself.

Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g. intense episodic dysphoria, irritability or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days) - Probably.

Chronic feelings of emptiness - Not sure because sometimes I'm not good at finding myself.

Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g. frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights) - Used to have anger out bursts but the medication seems to make it better.

Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms" - Dissociation, yes. (Depersonalization or whatever)

Anyway, I get into "parasocial" relationships sometimes or have intense feelings (non-romantic or sexual) for people online. I know it sounds creepy, I'm not trying to be. I'll see anyone who shows a bit of kindness to me as my best friend and want to share everything with them. If they tell me to not text them so much, like yesterday, I see it as a rejection and try to avoid feeling guilty about it by being like "Oh, it's just her loss".

This is because the extreme guilt will damage my self-worth and I won't be able to live with myself.

I'm a bad person, I know. FML.

Do NOT come here to criticize me or call me a bad person, I'm just sharing my experiences and seeing who can relate.

I grew up in Guatemala. You might know its one of the most unequal countries in the world - you're either in the rich class or poor.

I don't have a degree, don't have professional level skills or business skills. I worked for everything I had, never had much money. But nothing too bad - usually had enough food.

Two years ago I met a gringa in a tourist spot. I'm good with girls and we ended up sleeping together that night. We are both in out mid-30s.

Then I found out she's married. Married tourist looking for some cock on vacation - old story.

She has a rich husband and three children. I think she is from a rich family and her husband is also from a rich family, so between them it's double-rich. She mentioned having "oil rights", she mentioned multiple homes (I think over 20 rental properties).

Since then, I have done little bits of social media work for her businesses - it is easy work anyone could do, just running the company's facebook page and stuff. Plus we see each other in the Caribbean/Latin America and sleeping together for a week here and there. Since two years. She started saying "I love you" six months ago.

One time she said, "something something.... because you've already made your money...". I didn't let my reaction show. She assumed I was in her social class!. Just because people assume their life is the normal life. It feels normal to her to have multiple houses and a million a year in passive income (or whatever number), she thinks everyone she meets is probably like that.

Now she is starting a business, has almost finished investor funding. I let her keep thinking I am rich, and I asked for a big salary for my social media role. She is offering me more money than anyone in my village ever had, plus a percentage of the company. If the company works, it could be millions of dollars. I have seen the contract now, and with luck we will sign in one or two months. I can't fuck it up now.

Yes this is a sin because it is adultery. But I have the opportunity on a plate. The only thing I've ever been good at and I can use it to climb the social ladder.

I could blackmail her if I need to, but I don't want to.

Once the contract is signed, everything will be in the bag. That is only a month or two away.

This could make me hundreds of thousands of dollars (maybe a million?). If I worked as a gigolo, I would not get that in 20 years.

This is gonna sound really stupid to non-knowledgeable people... but it's true. I have autism. The reason I mention this is because I believe it has something to do with it.

I never felt a true sense of identity due to being outcasted. I was always seen as different because, well, I was. I'm neurodivergent, after all. I also grew up without the words to describe how I was feeling until I was older due to having an unaccepting family and "support" system, but I also have gender dysphoria so I always grew up feeling like I was in the wrong body. I always felt like I had the "brain of a boy".

I would be happy when someone called me boyish or whatever because it felt more like me than "girly", "femme", "feminine", and the like.

Anyway, I got really hyperfixated on the TV show called Eddsworld. I had the idea to do a reenactment of the characters where me, my childhood friend, and his friend would do something together but AS the characters. The friend was Tom/Edd because there were only 3 people and 4 characters. My childhood friend was Tord. I was Matt.

I see a lot of myself in Matt.

And yes, they are based on real people, but I always saw myself as the CHARACTER called Matt, not his counterpart/actor. I don't feel like I share a soul with a real person who doesn't even know I exist or anything like that.

Well, to "Tord" and let's say "Tom" (he acted a lot like Tom), it was an act. It was a persona or mask. To me, it was more. Matt felt like PART of me.

I really enjoyed the reenactments so much that I would feel euphoria embodying Matt and it became a problem where teachers would misinterpret my intentions and think I was just delusional and told me to "just stop embodying him" because it wasn't "normal".

To this day, I still feel like him... and I also discovered I feel even more like Tord. I have my own version of him and I made him my own version, and sometimes I get "glimpses" into Eddsworld where he's (I'm?) with his (my?) friends.

Sometimes, the overstimulation gets very strong when I feel like Matt, for example, and it also feels like I'm looking into a mirror or in a way, watching a recording of myself.

But I don't have any Dissociative Identity. I don't "remove" myself from the character, he's part of me, my identity, and personality. We are intertwined. And I know I don't look like him or anything like that, it just gives me euphoria when I imagine myself as him or embody him. To me, a delusion would be to genuinely believe without question that I had his appearance or something, when I don't.

We've been together for well over a decade. She has ADHD and CPTSD and that makes our relationship difficult, but she won't take accountability for the difficulty it causes. I'm just supposed to deal with it on my own.

There's the DARVO (Deny, attack, reverse victim and offender). The fucking DARVO. Yesterday, I went to her for emotional support about something that was frustrating me. Her response was to tell me what to do to fix it. When I explained it was more about frustration than needing a fix, she said nothing and walked out of the room. I later expressed how I felt dismissed and asked her please not to leave the room without saying anything when I'm talking , especially when asking for support. Her response was a lengthy explanation about how she left because she felt the conversation was over. I told her that I felt conversations tend to have a close, not just walking away without another word, so I was confused and hurt. So her response shifted: suddenly, despite her lengthy justification of why her actions were actually okay, it was actually ME who left the room. WTF. It was clear she was being defensive, so I asked that we take a break and discuss later. Later, she didn't want to discuss it at all. I was told this was my fault because I asked to put the conversation on hold, so we could discuss again when she was ready, after work the next day. Given her MO is postponing conversations for days until I simply give up, that is unlikely to happen. We're at four conversations where "we'll talk about it tomorrow, I promise!" from just the last two weeks. I told her my feelings were hurt and I was feeling unimportant, so she told me she needed space, didn't want to talk, and wanted me to leave. Ouch.

When we do talk about difficult topics, we just can't seem to have normal conversations. I'll ask her a question, but she'll answer by talking about something else entirely. I'll acknowledge what she said but explain it doesn't answer my question, but she'll again change the topic to something else. Eventually I get frustrated trying to pin her down, so we agree to talk about it later, but later never comes because she's nearly always too tired. Skimming my diary, we have literally over three dozen indefinitely postponed important conversations since January, all because she's consistently too tired to talk.

We've been separated for nine months now, with me living with a friend. We're in couples and individual therapy, and a consistent issue is her lack of capacity. She just doesn't have the time or energy, ever. Two weeks ago I brought up how she is still consistently avoiding talking about our relationship issues outside of therapy, so I wanted to separate if she was unable to make the time to do the work. She agreed to make time during her week for us to talk, plus she suggested we start a sort of relationship charter, where we outline what we want in the relationship and how we'll get there. Great fucking idea and I felt so much relief that we had a path forward.

But none of this happened. No time was made and no charter was even started, despite her repeatedly promising to create a document for us to share. I keep all We agreed to be finished with a rough draft by Wednesday and she can't take 30s to make an empty document file.

I love her so much, but she hasn't had the time or energy to be present in the relationship for years. She has promised repeatedly it'll be better after "the next big hurdle" passes, but there's always a new one to take its place, so the improvement never comes. When I'm at our home, she naps and watches TV by herself in the back bedroom while I do things by myself around the house. We don't go out - she's too tired because she works 9-10 hour days straight without breaks and has chronic insomnia she refuses to see a doctor about.

So... I'm just done and it breaks my fucking heart. I saw such a great future for us, but I need a partner who is present, not someone with a neverending list of excuses about why they're not here today, but they'll sure be there tomorrow, and that's what the work will start. I've been waiting for years for tomorrow to come. I'm done.

idk if i can move on. i see my abusive ex-friend EVERYWHERE. he started acting dry and rude so i blocked him. maybe i misunderstood even tho he treated me like shit, i dunno!

somehow i think it’s my fault. since i couldn’t figure out how to block him and was seeing his ass everywhere, i decided on the slight chance it was my fault, to apologize.

he will probably say something abusive and never trust or forgive me for blocking him since i know he struggles with feeling remorse or taking accountability for his actions. it’s highly likely he either doesn’t care about me or thinks im the problem.

i know it’s my fault if he continues abusing or bullying me. My fault for wanting a second chance