So, I've always had gender dysphoria even when I was 8, since I really loved the idea of wearing my dad's clothes or anything labeled "men's"/"boy's". I wanted to hang out with the boys, couldn't fit in with girls, etc. When I got my hair cut, I thought I'd look more like a boy, so it made me happy. This was before I even knew what transgender was. I used the word "tomboy" because that's what everyone called me and what I thought people like me were. But "girl" didn't feel right. And I HATED being called "femme"/"feminine". I only became comfortable with femininity after I was sure I was a boy and seeing myself as just a boy who likes being effeminate.

I always wanted to be like a strong, manly hero. Or just a man in general.

Anyway, when people kept calling me a girl and stuff, I detransitioned (desisted). But, of course, the dysphoria kept coming back. Anyway, I thought I was a lesbian and couldn't see myself with men, especially due to how I was treated as a woman by men. I couldn't fit in with girls who gushed over guys and wanted to be their girlfriends.

Well, ever since I rediscovered myself, I at first thought I was straight, and maybe my brain can't accept being straight or what, but I was thinking that I didn't care honestly what gender they were. I've been thinking a lot more about male characters in a romantic way and I'm even starting to find one of them hot again like when I used to yumeship with him.

I won't go into too much detail, just in general, I've even been interested in fanfiction with two men (yaoi/BL) and while they made me uncomfortable while identifying as a woman, I'm sorta fine with it now??? People (usually friends) have asked me to write stories or do art for them, and since most of my friends are women who like yaoi (and are comfortable with being women), most of my art/writing is MLM. I actually enjoy doing it and it inspires me to do more.

I still consider myself to be ace, but it seems more like while I might be pan/bi-oriented, I feel physically attracted to women to some extent (but I don't really fantasize about doing anything) and IDK about men since they obviously don't look like cartoon characters, but IDK. But I definitely feel something to male characters, and I sometimes pretend I'm another character ruffling his hair or something or waking up next to him. It's weird, though, because I don't feel anything for now or fantasize about anything even more romantic like making out or kissing.

I like Zohran Mamdani. I like Alexandria Ocasio Cortez.

But if you think they have any chance to win a presidential election against Eric Trump or JD Vance, you are kidding yourself.

People living in Nevada, Texas, Michigan or Wisconsin are never going to vote for a muslim socialist or a latina.

Many americans get their news from Fox News or X.

They believe California/New York/Boston/Seattle/Chicago are disgusting hellholes full of crime, murder and pink-haired weirdos who hate America.

The next candidate should be :

- Male

- White

- Not from the West Coast or East Coast

- Military veteran

Any other candidate will be annihilated before the presidential campaign even starts.

I say this as as a foreigner

I grew up in Guatemala. You might know its one of the most unequal countries in the world - you're either in the rich class or poor.

I don't have a degree, don't have professional level skills or business skills. I worked for everything I had, never had much money. But nothing too bad - usually had enough food.

Two years ago I met a gringa in a tourist spot. I'm good with girls and we ended up sleeping together that night. We are both in out mid-30s.

Then I found out she's married. Married tourist looking for some cock on vacation - old story.

She has a rich husband and three children. I think she is from a rich family and her husband is also from a rich family, so between them it's double-rich. She mentioned having "oil rights", she mentioned multiple homes (I think over 20 rental properties).

Since then, I have done little bits of social media work for her businesses - it is easy work anyone could do, just running the company's facebook page and stuff. Plus we see each other in the Caribbean/Latin America and sleeping together for a week here and there. Since two years. She started saying "I love you" six months ago.

One time she said, "something something.... because you've already made your money...". I didn't let my reaction show. She assumed I was in her social class!. Just because people assume their life is the normal life. It feels normal to her to have multiple houses and a million a year in passive income (or whatever number), she thinks everyone she meets is probably like that.

Now she is starting a business, has almost finished investor funding. I let her keep thinking I am rich, and I asked for a big salary for my social media role. She is offering me more money than anyone in my village ever had, plus a percentage of the company. If the company works, it could be millions of dollars. I have seen the contract now, and with luck we will sign in one or two months. I can't fuck it up now.

Yes this is a sin because it is adultery. But I have the opportunity on a plate. The only thing I've ever been good at and I can use it to climb the social ladder.

I could blackmail her if I need to, but I don't want to.

Once the contract is signed, everything will be in the bag. That is only a month or two away.

This could make me hundreds of thousands of dollars (maybe a million?). If I worked as a gigolo, I would not get that in 20 years.

We've been together for well over a decade. She has ADHD and CPTSD and that makes our relationship difficult, but she won't take accountability for the difficulty it causes. I'm just supposed to deal with it on my own.

There's the DARVO (Deny, attack, reverse victim and offender). The fucking DARVO. Yesterday, I went to her for emotional support about something that was frustrating me. Her response was to tell me what to do to fix it. When I explained it was more about frustration than needing a fix, she said nothing and walked out of the room. I later expressed how I felt dismissed and asked her please not to leave the room without saying anything when I'm talking , especially when asking for support. Her response was a lengthy explanation about how she left because she felt the conversation was over. I told her that I felt conversations tend to have a close, not just walking away without another word, so I was confused and hurt. So her response shifted: suddenly, despite her lengthy justification of why her actions were actually okay, it was actually ME who left the room. WTF. It was clear she was being defensive, so I asked that we take a break and discuss later. Later, she didn't want to discuss it at all. I was told this was my fault because I asked to put the conversation on hold, so we could discuss again when she was ready, after work the next day. Given her MO is postponing conversations for days until I simply give up, that is unlikely to happen. We're at four conversations where "we'll talk about it tomorrow, I promise!" from just the last two weeks. I told her my feelings were hurt and I was feeling unimportant, so she told me she needed space, didn't want to talk, and wanted me to leave. Ouch.

When we do talk about difficult topics, we just can't seem to have normal conversations. I'll ask her a question, but she'll answer by talking about something else entirely. I'll acknowledge what she said but explain it doesn't answer my question, but she'll again change the topic to something else. Eventually I get frustrated trying to pin her down, so we agree to talk about it later, but later never comes because she's nearly always too tired. Skimming my diary, we have literally over three dozen indefinitely postponed important conversations since January, all because she's consistently too tired to talk.

We've been separated for nine months now, with me living with a friend. We're in couples and individual therapy, and a consistent issue is her lack of capacity. She just doesn't have the time or energy, ever. Two weeks ago I brought up how she is still consistently avoiding talking about our relationship issues outside of therapy, so I wanted to separate if she was unable to make the time to do the work. She agreed to make time during her week for us to talk, plus she suggested we start a sort of relationship charter, where we outline what we want in the relationship and how we'll get there. Great fucking idea and I felt so much relief that we had a path forward.

But none of this happened. No time was made and no charter was even started, despite her repeatedly promising to create a document for us to share. I keep all We agreed to be finished with a rough draft by Wednesday and she can't take 30s to make an empty document file.

I love her so much, but she hasn't had the time or energy to be present in the relationship for years. She has promised repeatedly it'll be better after "the next big hurdle" passes, but there's always a new one to take its place, so the improvement never comes. When I'm at our home, she naps and watches TV by herself in the back bedroom while I do things by myself around the house. We don't go out - she's too tired because she works 9-10 hour days straight without breaks and has chronic insomnia she refuses to see a doctor about.

So... I'm just done and it breaks my fucking heart. I saw such a great future for us, but I need a partner who is present, not someone with a neverending list of excuses about why they're not here today, but they'll sure be there tomorrow, and that's what the work will start. I've been waiting for years for tomorrow to come. I'm done.

So, I need to see a psychiatrist and I'm quite young. Therefore, I can't say for sure that I 100% have BPD. However, I suspect it. Other people say I "act like" I have it. The closest people to me who understand me and aren't driven away are also suspecting themselves to have BPD or have it.

I've always been super intense, though. And I'm very calm and stable around people I'm not attached to, by the way. If I wasn't attached to you, you'd never suspect me of having that disorder.

However, it's a whole different story when I AM attached. You'll see a completely different side of me. I'm working on it, but I feel the need to talk all the time and be around you like a drug. If it gets too intense, I'll feel upset that I'm NOT you or not fused with you in the same body. Yes, I know I need help, but I'm just sharing my experiences and seeing if anyone can relate or provide insight.

My friend with medically recognized BPD says it sounded a lot like him, especially when he first started noticing the symptoms.

He told me to look at the DSM, but I won't self-diagnose obviously and say I 100% have BPD because "Dr. Reddit" told me.

"Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment (Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behaviour covered in Criterion 5)" - Yes. I have abandonment issues and am obsession-prone.

A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterised by alternating between extremes of idealisation and devaluation - I'd say so. I can switch between, of course, wanting to be part of you, but it stresses me out so much that I also find reasons to think you're a mean person who hates me or others.

Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self - Yes. I always had a "fragmented"/"fluid" sense of self.

Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g. spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating) (Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behaviour covered in Criterion 5) - I don't think so.

Recurrent suicidal behaviour, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behaviour - Suicidal ideation. I used to guilt trip others or post how I was gonna do something bad to myself.

Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g. intense episodic dysphoria, irritability or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days) - Probably.

Chronic feelings of emptiness - Not sure because sometimes I'm not good at finding myself.

Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g. frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights) - Used to have anger out bursts but the medication seems to make it better.

Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms" - Dissociation, yes. (Depersonalization or whatever)

Anyway, I get into "parasocial" relationships sometimes or have intense feelings (non-romantic or sexual) for people online. I know it sounds creepy, I'm not trying to be. I'll see anyone who shows a bit of kindness to me as my best friend and want to share everything with them. If they tell me to not text them so much, like yesterday, I see it as a rejection and try to avoid feeling guilty about it by being like "Oh, it's just her loss".

This is because the extreme guilt will damage my self-worth and I won't be able to live with myself.

I'm a bad person, I know. FML.

Do NOT come here to criticize me or call me a bad person, I'm just sharing my experiences and seeing who can relate.

I can still go out of course, it's early enough, but with the AQI this high I'd want to wear a respirator. The only thing keeping me from going is how judgemental people are when they see something abnormal; like a guy walking down the street with half-face respirator.

*that meme where there's the guy standing alone in the corner and other are dancing: They don't know the government doesn't include data from the Copernicus satellite in it's AQI forcasts and it's actually really unhealthy out here right now.

I need to get eggs, as I haven't had protein yet today. Ahhh well, here it goes. o7

We haven’t spoken in about three years at this point.

I was still really shocked and upset that there was nothing from him. He knew I was there. No phone call, no text message, no nothing.

This is gonna sound really stupid to non-knowledgeable people... but it's true. I have autism. The reason I mention this is because I believe it has something to do with it.

I never felt a true sense of identity due to being outcasted. I was always seen as different because, well, I was. I'm neurodivergent, after all. I also grew up without the words to describe how I was feeling until I was older due to having an unaccepting family and "support" system, but I also have gender dysphoria so I always grew up feeling like I was in the wrong body. I always felt like I had the "brain of a boy".

I would be happy when someone called me boyish or whatever because it felt more like me than "girly", "femme", "feminine", and the like.

Anyway, I got really hyperfixated on the TV show called Eddsworld. I had the idea to do a reenactment of the characters where me, my childhood friend, and his friend would do something together but AS the characters. The friend was Tom/Edd because there were only 3 people and 4 characters. My childhood friend was Tord. I was Matt.

I see a lot of myself in Matt.

And yes, they are based on real people, but I always saw myself as the CHARACTER called Matt, not his counterpart/actor. I don't feel like I share a soul with a real person who doesn't even know I exist or anything like that.

Well, to "Tord" and let's say "Tom" (he acted a lot like Tom), it was an act. It was a persona or mask. To me, it was more. Matt felt like PART of me.

I really enjoyed the reenactments so much that I would feel euphoria embodying Matt and it became a problem where teachers would misinterpret my intentions and think I was just delusional and told me to "just stop embodying him" because it wasn't "normal".

To this day, I still feel like him... and I also discovered I feel even more like Tord. I have my own version of him and I made him my own version, and sometimes I get "glimpses" into Eddsworld where he's (I'm?) with his (my?) friends.

Sometimes, the overstimulation gets very strong when I feel like Matt, for example, and it also feels like I'm looking into a mirror or in a way, watching a recording of myself.

But I don't have any Dissociative Identity. I don't "remove" myself from the character, he's part of me, my identity, and personality. We are intertwined. And I know I don't look like him or anything like that, it just gives me euphoria when I imagine myself as him or embody him. To me, a delusion would be to genuinely believe without question that I had his appearance or something, when I don't.

idk if i can move on. i see my abusive ex-friend EVERYWHERE. he started acting dry and rude so i blocked him. maybe i misunderstood even tho he treated me like shit, i dunno!

somehow i think it’s my fault. since i couldn’t figure out how to block him and was seeing his ass everywhere, i decided on the slight chance it was my fault, to apologize.

he will probably say something abusive and never trust or forgive me for blocking him since i know he struggles with feeling remorse or taking accountability for his actions. it’s highly likely he either doesn’t care about me or thinks im the problem.

i know it’s my fault if he continues abusing or bullying me. My fault for wanting a second chance

I was terminated in retaliation for having a disability and being injured on the job due to my employer's negligence. I took leave for surgery due to that injury and was terminated the day I returned. The reason? Allegedly poor performance, despite my review, completed just three weeks before the beginning of my leave, stating I was doing fantastic. My manager pinned a number of her failures on me in the process, all of which I could prove were entirely due to her own incompetence, but HR had already fired me. No one cared.

I filed a complaint with my state's labor department, and in response my employer fabricated a host of lies to justify my termination. The department initially sided with them until I created a multi-page document explaining my evidence to them like they were a child. Within days, I had a new investigator and they had a team working on my case.

I just received a letter from the investigator. I won. Not only did they side with me for every accusation made by or against me, they found additional concerning details in my employer's story, entirely due to the evidence they fabricated. Poorly. So soooo poorly.

It was noticed that there was a significant uptick in terminations at the time, and more of them were of injured or disabled employees than could be accounted for by employee population composition. The state is now prosecuting them for their violations in my case and investigating the entire company for further violations.

Feels good.

...and almost instantly received a text saying there's no water for the next five hours.

So I'm just sitting here, feeling a bit sticky with sunscreen in my eyes. I really want to wash my face at least... another 4.5 hours to go.

I think I'll just go out again, but I have no money to eat out... :s

I was initially a skeptic until I was encouraged to use it at work, to see if I could find ways it could help reduce the pain points of my workflows.

I begrudgingly took this as a challenge to disprove it's usefulness, but quickly found out I kind-of enjoyed trying to figure out what makes it tick, and how to make it output the most reliable and reproducible results for the given task.

A year and a half later, the ability to efficiently use AI for problem solving and automated pipelines has allowed me to breathe new life into my career trajectory as well as my hobbies.

I am an unapologetic AI user and enjoyer.

Well that is a relief. I get up my own ass sometimes with stoopid ideas about reality. I'm schizoaffective. One day I work with the CIA. The next, I'm going to hell. Then I'm gunna be famous. The narrative I have to define my identity and derive my executive functions from is HIGHLY malleable. The cult I was abused by had a major hand in that, which has been enhanced by my life partner manipulating me, though I have returned to believing that has been for my benefit because I just talked with him over the phone.

He's been in the hospital maybe a week or so. Involuntary inpatient psyche ward stay. I've been brought to a CPEP facility in cuffs several times being the nutcase that I am, but it always gets switched to voluntary because I am a highly agreeable person and comply with whatever the doctors and staff ask of me. But therein, my life partner is refusing medication and not going to groups and yadda yadda, so he had to go to court today, and my dumbass thought he had done all this to set me up.

I have an IQ most Mensa members wish they had, but therein, I am dumb as a box of rocks. I have no God damn common sense, whatsoever. EQ and judgment of a feral slime mold, which makes sense, seeing as how they can organize themselves more efficiently than engineers can make their computer chips, I just saw an article today. I can see all these possibilities.

Y'know, I can literally see the path from here to becoming the 48th and 50th president, and despite that having less than a yocto-percentage chance of actually coming to fruition, it still lives rent-free in my head. Thus, I saw all the numerous ways my life partner could have horrifically betrayed me by lying, which is a skill he is proficient at, and thus makes it more of a milli-percent of a possible reality. But that call restored my faith. That was the man I love. I felt the warmth in his voice. We talked about art. I feel more positive and put together now than I have felt for the past however long.

It's a good thing. Makes me more positive about my coming court hearing for assaulting him. He fucks with my head, compassionately. The first page of the Bible encapsulates a lot of things, but the idea of enlightenment ultimately is dependent on how an effect comes before a cause. What I mean is, by developing your prefrontal cortex by stepping outside your confort zone, you develop the part of your brain that predicts the animal parts, cutting them off at the pass, so to speak. Thus, my life partner pushes the absolute limits of what I can take, and it significantly warps my reality.

I didn't know if I had to play games with the state because I didn't know if my life partner was playing games against me. Reality seems simple for once. No CIA fucking my shit up. I made a mistake under extreme circumstances, and I have the wherewithal to be completely honest with whomever my judge is and I know now that the deepest pit of darkness is not coming.

Unless the FBI is gunna play a card up their sleeve. But I think, perhaps, it wise that I abstain from taking that 300 question personality test they do as an interview with some people, because now I see what God meant by "a perfect cover story."

Yea, the state totes was gunna prosecute me, bro. I'm not a cop. They're just listening, AND reading everything I say. BUT THEY'VE BEEN DOING THAT FOR AT LEAST FIFTEEN FUCKING YEARS!

It's just, too much, so much bad and evil happening and I can't take it, nor can I look away.

I use these platforms to distract from the gnawing constant loneliness I feel that never goes away.

I can't spend more than 5 minutes without a video playing or checking some kind of media to fill the void.

I'm feeling so suicidal nowadays, but I'm stuck in this existence for the time being.

Specifically, two wheels. I bought an e-scooter!

I've been off wheels for more than two years. I loaned my parents my car, as they live in a car-centric area and I don't, and now it's just my Mom still living and she's never been in a position to give it back.

Mobility = freedom.

I AM SO EXCITED.

I'm not doing so hot. Quite the opposite, actually. I feel like I've been set up by my life partner. He is a skilled liar. I don't know what reality is, but yet, I've got to wrangle my self in all on my own. Reached out to his mom for help. I spend more effort trying to help strangers on the internet. It's not real.

There's no way this is the truth, that my life partner and his family are manipulating me to an end. It's possible they are using me to get him disability. I don't know though. I think to myself, “why this way?” It's clear to me, having lived with him for three years now, that he is not just manipulating me but rather he is playing another, unknown party. Is it doctors? Police? I see how he lied which got him into the hospital.

As the cashier I bought booze from cross-talked to me while on Facetime, “he's getting big, fast.” I feel like it is my mission to get arrested again, to get famous. And he does this, skillfully. Warps my reality. I have no clue what to do. And what do I do when the FBI kicks my door down? Talk? Am I supposed to betray him? Is this a test? Am I to be Jesus when he is forcing me to be Judas? To say nothing is as simple as going to take what was and it is how it be and do, whatfor mostly that which is.

His mom might come here today, I just realized. She doesn't understand that I see right through her. I see where my life partner learned to lie. She threatened me, skillfully, so she always has plausible deniability. She technically didn't threaten me, just like Byoomth is technically a Buddhist with the amount of weed he smokes. That's what I'm dealing with; liars that lack self-awareness but are skilled enough that they can believe their own lies.

She said her family would be violent because I was violent with my life partner. Dismissed my retelling of his egregious violations of basic morals with a wave of her hand. Oh. So that's one reason he lies; they can't help but beat the shit out of each other and lie about it after. But I'm the Savage, and thus I know what true motherly love is like. She treats my life partner as if he is something to be controlled; wrangled. Unideal for personal benefits. That's what they're good at; being awful to each other. It's the only explanation for how my life partner does the things he does; he will do anything so I conform to his will because that is what he was inadvertently trained/raised to do.

It's tragic, but even he does not acknowledge his shortcomings. He is perfect. The narcissist. And I say this as one, knowing we attract each other. But therein, it's also a generational curse. He's this way because of his upbringing. He learned all this behavior. And I'm going to be punished for his actions. But that's just for my cover story, right? Is that a lie, too? Is God real? I know, but that doesn't matter for God even forsook Jesus. I'm not even that good. I deserve some hell in my life. I just wish it wasn't at the hand of the man I love.

This thing takes minutes to verify that I just don't even bother visiting the pages anymore. Such technology that suppose to make things easy is such a PITA to work with. It is much faster to just ask Google AI to summarize the page than visit it directly which is ironic seeing they were done to prevent bots. Anyway that is all for my TED talk.

I want to explain what has happened here at my apartment. My life partner and I were homeless, with his mental health in decline. He “lost” his ID right around the same time he intentionally threw out his cell phone and took impossible-to-live-with vows, such as never handling money. His father offered to invest in my educational art project to help us get inside. I thought he would improve, he would get his ID with the help of his father, and we would get him on the lease and I would start working.

Things got worse. He started manipulating me, or perhaps more accurately, I started noticing he was manipulating me. I know now he was doing it for a long time before. I have been previously abused by a cult. I am highly agreeable having comically bad judgment and poor EQ, being schizoaffective and autistic with trauma. He used these things against me. I have assaulted him many times because he provokes me and I could not get him to stop smoking weed that I was forced to buy as he would turn the apartment into a passive-aggressive warzone. He dissuaded me from seeing doctors and was instrumental in me going off my meds which made things worse.

None of this was my intention. I have damaged the walls and broken the window. I was scared to call management because he was smoking so much. Therein, he is the one that ripped the items off in the bathroom and did something to the washer/dryer while I was in the hospital. I don't know if the dishwasher works; he's just said it was broken. He has some aspects of Operant Defiance Disorder I have seen in someone else before; he does things out of spite and takes no responsibility.

But therein, he is the most compassionate person, to me and the cockroaches. I think he's trying to prove he's compassionate. Is that his mental health? I'm afraid to interfere less he start conditioning me again. I can't apologize enough. Everything is falling apart, but he is in the hospital now, finally being seen by doctors. I've tried and I've tried to get him to see professionals and get his stuff in order and stop smoking, even calling the police and trying to get the doctors I saw to help him. I reached out to churches, being spiritual myself but knowing no one in the area as I moved here to be with him. No one has helped.

The damage to the walls, door, and refrigerator was done by me headbutting them in emotional dysregulation. I cannot control myself while he is doing things to trigger me in skillful means. He learned about things like my abandonment issues and my negligent father and it is like we have gone through modules that have evolved, similar to the cult. He controls me by harassing me in peaceful means to destabilize me and then keeps me in this state for periods, love bombing me all throughout, as a narcissistic manipulator does. I have a video that shows how he uses narcissistic triangulation to affect me, ignoring me and making me seem crazy to my neighbors as I destabilize.

I am so sorry to my neighbors for the disturbances over our time here. My mission in life is to make the world a better place with education. I teach philosophy, spirituality, and mental health skills online by playing a character to market and facilitate education to help people heal and self-actualize. While I have been sabotaged in my attempts to make sustainability with a job or otherwise, I have written approximately three books worth of my art in my time here. I am just not skilled or knowledgeable of how to best turn this into publications that will earn money.

So today was meant to be the day was gonna invite a group of people to a small gathering at my house. I made a silly website that'd show all the info and i'd go around personally inviting them.

I think they just liked the idea of being invited more than the event itself. I had around 10 people explicitly tell to my face that they were coming.

Noone followed through.

I probably fucked up somewhere in the process but it hurts nonetheless; It was the first event I had organized for a group. I wanted to share my world with the people around me. I wanted to showcase my dogs and my garden.

At least i've learned something, I got to cook some meat for my family. But damn, this feels isolating.

It's now painfully obvious that if you want people to act civilly and engage in good faith, they need to have some skin in the game. This kind of free-for-all where it takes two minutes to create a new anonymous account is never going to work.

I only need to browse Lemmy for two minutes to run into the first inflammatory comment, and I'm just so done with all of that. Going from here to there feels like stepping into a room full of adults. It's incredibly refreshing to be around people who treat each other as humans instead of just performing for an audience and fishing for applause.

A good example of this is that in a recent poll 97% of users said they view Trump as uniquely dangerous, yet there's a post on the front page by a Trump supporter asking people to challenge his views - and not a single person is attacking him personally or calling him a fascist.

Rules of the community:

1. Engage in good faith.
   Assume the best of people you disagree with. Challenge ideas, not intentions.

2. Steelman before you criticize.
   Make sure you understand someone's position before you argue against it. If you can't articulate their view fairly, keep reading.

3. No outrage, no grandstanding.
   This isn't the place for performative takes or scoring points. Say what you actually think.

4. Stay curious.
   You might be wrong. So might everyone else. Approach conversations as a chance to learn, not just to be heard.

5. Keep it civil.
   Disagree as sharply as the argument requires, but never get personal. Attack the idea, not the person. No insults.

6. No spam or self-promotion.
   Don't use this community to sell something or grow your own platform.

7. Stay on topic.
   If your comment is about something different, consider creating a new post.

8. Respect the lurkers.
   Not everyone wants to post. Don't pressure people to engage, and don't call out members who prefer to listen.

9. AI is a tool, not a voice.
   Feel free to use these tools however you like to think, research, or edit, but what you share should represent your own thinking.

Some of you might know/guess the community in question but I will not reveal that here as it's not relevant. This isn't an invite.