In Kindergarten, I was a BLT sandwich. First grade, I was a dollar bill. Second grade, I was a mad scientist. Third grade, I was a vampire archeologist. In fourth grade, my mom died. In fifth and sixth grade, I went in the same Scream mask my dad bought me for $7.99.

It was and is Hell. Thank God I was brave enough to choose such a life as Moses and Jesus, to be an unloved, loved child, because obviously it is the trials we undertake that make us what we are in these biological incarnations, and superpositional beings, well, we bitches ain't made living in ivory towers or the shit huts of the Earth. We need to understand the totality of the human condition to notice white rabbit (synchronicity, as Carl Jung called it; what a "burning bush" is in reference of in the Bible), to thus be of use to the Ālaya-vijñāna, that which Jesus called his Father, from which we grow, not as Atman drawn as vases from the Brahman ocean of consciousness, but at beads on the vertices of Indra's Net - that which a Roman Dodecahedron is a pedagogical object meant to teach such concepts, obviously.

"Present"

Look inside

Penis in a box

You know we of the Illuminati play any role that is required of us? You need me to go the way of the predator, well shit? I guess my husk of an identity is being used by the FBI, whom I receive a paycheck from on a biweekly basis. You need me to act like a genocidal psycho? Well, I guess I'm being an unhinged bigleboo for all them cattle who are physically incapable of forming their own objective opinion and thus just continue on jibigierremoveding social media up in their objectively definable ignorance for why it's the year 2026 of our lord, that audacious mother fucker, who can formulate their own opinions on objective data despite the continguor of the lie they choose to believe in being uphold by some internet personality who pretends to be schizophrenic.

The reason the battle is won is because Jesus is so audacious, he threw his best friend, Judas, under the bus, to hide the fact that he was a federal undercover police officer. "Do you not see these wounds in the palms of my hands, incurred unjustly by the state?! I totally ain't a cop, bro."

I met Jeff on his island I traveled to via boat several months after the international state media declared Epstein dead. The shit I do for my country...

I mean, they don't let me make these types of jokes no more. Fucking Government...

I see this image all the time and understand the intent behind it, but I'm curious to watch the clip in context to understand the nuance of the delivery. Source?

Clacking keys as it b WASD

On knees - friend sucks me

Polygons freeze - we swap

I be more plzed than I fap!

You play fifteen minutes, complete a dungeon or whatever, swap. Fuck. How do you manage to wipe your ass with that level of creative thinking? Like, if poo ever splatters on your ass cheeks from a particularly quaking bout of diarrhea, how is someone of your capabilities able to formulate the neural algorithms capable of maneuvering your hand with paper across the deleterious parts of your derriere? Or are you just a partially sentient Borg creature that uses a bidet?

I am only commenting because 11.2 is the upper limit of an age range from Lolita and is the number that pedophiles use as a call sign in quite a number of ways, and now you will see it in unfortunate ways, too.

Why didn't you just put it in your ass and carry it the intelligent way, the way our ancestors carried water in jugs for thousands of years? You think your rectum can stretch that much via random chance? No, yo ass has evolved to carry the burden of our collective survival, so get boofing with them electronics, boy, cuz Princess Diana is currently living in Canada just down the street from a couple other family members, which I just put here, randomly, for counterintelligence purposes.

For me it's taking turns playing Morrowind with the general idea to kill everybody in the world while rotating who was playing and who was blowing the other one.

If you are controlled by cringe, there is cringe in you. If you are controlled by anger, there is anger in you. If you are moved by the world, the world lives rent-free in your head. Be empty, as the Buddha described, and then you will act in your full power, not simply react to the world. If you are always reacting, you are not in control of yourself. Free will is a skill. I pooped my pants while righting this. It tastes funny.

I have stockpiled an absolutely MASSIVE amounts of manure. That shit is going to be worth a fortune in the future. Every paycheck, I dump at least 10% of it into buying the freshest cow pie I can find. The neighbors hate me, but we'll see who gets the last laugh when they sell their in-laws into indentured servitude to afford a bag of my brown gold!

Just get a new foot so this stops happening. I have some old, discount feet if you want one for cheap. Most are Australian, though I do have some Maltans in here, somewhere.

This is my favorite Mickey Mouse meme:

Unresolved childhood trauma. The underlying strategy to heal yourself from this is to consciously step far outside your comfort zone from time to time so that you can perceive yourself more accurately to see what inside you is draining you whilst simultaneously recondition yourself out of these maladaptive patterns. The world traumatizes us all. We don't need to be caught in a warzone to be inflicted with just the right wound to cripple us in the most debilitating ways. The solution is to grow. Challenge yourself with a big mission that casts you out of what is familiar to find yourself better than you ever were before. And there is a smart way to do this, a lazy way to do this, and a reckless way of doing this. Balance is key.

They did Geordi and Broccoli dirty.

I remember being super overjoyed when Obama won as I was entering college, and I still think he's objectively a good man who did a hard job, at the same time, dude blew up a lot of brown people. Universal healthcare is mainly a bipartisan fuck-up, but dude was a war hawk.

Tjis is my favorite version of this meme.