Found this article posted to another community, and thought to cross post it here.

The gist of the article is that girls suffer in silence because they don't match the profile of boys with ADHD, but i found myself relating to it very much, even though I'm not a girl, and my parents did know pretty early.

Key Paragraph:

And like many other issues regarding mental health, hiding only makes it worse. The effort to perform as neurotypical is more common among girls and begins in early adolescence. A girl will study how other kids behave and copy it, suppressing the urge to move and turning a fear of mistakes into perfectionism that, from the outside, reads as being a strong student. The research on the cost is consistent: higher camouflaging tracks with greater anxiety, depression, and lower quality of life. By June, the reserves are gone, and the mask that is held through every class period tends to shatter the moment she feels safe, usually at home. 

So i spent my childhood trying to fit in but also be myself. My parents were pretty sure i had ADD (inattentive) by first grade, because I was a boy, and i didn't really pay attention in normal ways and never really understood why i should do what everybody else was doing in school, or even notice that it was time to do that.

But as I grew up and especially in high school, i tried my best to work super hard and try to be smart and get good grades (one of my biggest innovations was to do my homework on the bus every day before i got home from school and got distracted) but also i got in the habit of guilt tripping myself to get work done, "stop being lazy, etc.,"

This worked until it didn't and i burn out pretty hard and got pneumonia as my body physically collapsed under the pressure of junior year. I'd say that set the tone for my life since then -- try to do a good job, lose energy and fail.

My life recently has been about trying to relearn how to be productive and still be true to myself while also dealing with all the baggage from trying to force myself to achieve good grades and do the best i could.

Can anyone relate to this broadly? Have you found anything to help you understand it or overcome it?

When I think about phases in the past, the way I remember it is that I felt lost. Struggling, juggling with all the things to do and solving problems, not that happy, no progress.

On the other hand, while thinking like that, I often feel like things are improving. Until it becomes the past, at which point I think of it again as lost.

I think that my brain has a bias about what memories it stores. I once read that this can be a problem of depressive people, that their brain stores certain bad things better than good ones.

Things that were truly awesome I do remember, but they are rare. What I believe I tend to not remember are the times where everything was just fine and relaxed. Nicely sitting at my desk and watching a show or reading a book, tea is next to me so I don't have to get up, not very hungry, but a nice snack in reach. Or just walking somewhere, the weather is just right, it's through a nice park, nice daydreaming. Watching a mediocre show with the girlfriend from back then, with the impossible-to-recall feelings for her I had then, not now.

I thought about that when I went through boxes of old stuff, some from over 25 years ago, and I saw all the proof of the good times: Tons of books I read and enjoyed, notes of stuff I studied successfully, leading to success later, gifts from beloved people.

Also, some things that I love don't feel appealing when I consider doing them right now, same as when I remember them. A bike tour through the forest? Why did I even do that in the past, why do I have a bike for that? Sounds like a lot of work! I'd sit on the bike, legs hurt, boredom. But as soon as I'm on the bike, I feel great! I just won't remember feeling great. Even watching some 6 out of 10 movie would be more fun, it seems.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/49863704

You can find my work here

So my little sister displays clear signs of both Autistic and ADHD but refuse to look into it. She a teen-ish. Everyone suspects she is autistic, both my parents and my other sister but if were to use intensive language here a bit, I would say she is very childish for someone going to high school. There are other reasons that makes me think she is autistic(and has adhd)

Just yesterday she mentioned she finds skin texture disgusting, and has to focus on other features in a person's face and so gets distracted easily. She refuses to wear wet bathroom saddles. She is extremely touchy and clingy to both my mom and sister. She is stubborn as a well, always thinking she is in the right. She talks more like more like someone who learned to talk from just watching cartoons rather than other people. I could go on.

I admit, its probably my fault. I was more just pushy. I treated badly, telling her our father agrees with me and his word is law. I realise that doesn't she want the stigma, that I am basically insuring she never wants to look into it. Its not a disease or cancer, the excuse of tough love is not applicable here.

I will just have to drop it, but it hurts me that she has resources that I didn't have access to when I was her age.

I really think that I need therapy and my family also think so and tells me this in regular intervals.

But there are two main blockers with getting therapy:

• Extreme long waiting list's, estimated waiting times of 1-3 years
• I am so bad at doing stuff on time / arriving at appointment's, that this will fail any therapy where I have to arrive physically

I am thinking about getting online therapy, on a platform like for example BetterHelp, but I always hear bad things about these platforms.

Do anyone here as experience with such platforms? Do they keep the conversations private or sell them?

I feel like the focus is too much on ADD and when the subject of Hyperactivity/Restlessness comes, it is always about kids. To an extent, most of us with Hyperactivity learn to regulate our impulse but for me anyway, movement is still a very important part of my life.

Needing to walk while studying(which is really just rereading my notebook), going for a walk to chill out after rage buildup, and pacing around when i excited or inspired by a story. Pacing to organize my thoughts and figure things outs. I get restless easily, cant stand to listen to calm music, or really any music that isn't exciting. I get impatience easily, talking really fast, can't eat slowly, walk quickly etc...

And those are just some examples. For a couple of years i didn't really think i had ADHD because i couldn't see myself in the symptoms people talked about online. Sure i had attention issues, but my thoughts never felt disorganized or all over the place. Actually narrating a Monologue in my brain is how i learned organize my thoughts. Yes, i still jumped all over the place but it never felt random XD.

Honestly, what has helped me with understanding my ADHD is the autism community, especially when it comes to stimming. I feel like i use movement to sooth myself the same way alot of autistic people do, both with movement and other stuff

Does anyone else relate to not feeling seen as an adult with ADHD in the community?

The rule:

• I tell myself "Do this work for only two minutes and then if you don't feel like it, it's too stressful, just give up!".

Why the JUST TWO MINUTES rule works for me SOMETIMES:

1. Helps start the work:

• It's easier to convince myself to start on something, if it's for just two minutes.

1. Gets SOME work done:

• Even if all you did in those two minutes was read the problem statement, you have made far more progress than doing NOTHING - which plays into NON-ZERO DAYS.

1. Kickstarts more work:

• Sometimes those two minutes can help you kickstart a whole session of executive functioning. It might make me look at a problem which I was too stressed to even look at, but which later turns out to be actually quite simple.

1. Guiltless reprieve:

• If nothing else it at least gives me the guiltless reprieve after I am done working for those two minutes. I will pickup social media again to get the dopamine hit, but I did something! I can take a break and try again.

Notes: This is a very janky method, but it surprisingly works sometimes. It doesn't work always - especially if my stress levels are very high or I am out of will power or physical energy.

What do you guys think?

Hello, I have a big problem that interferes with every aspect of my life. And I want to ask you all if you experience this too and/or you have any ideas on how to improve this behavior?

The Problem

When I do anything interesting, or anything that just isn't completely boring, I can't stop when it's time to stop and start the doing the next thing. I always think, something like "Just five minutes more" and then I sometimes finish hours later than I had planned. This breaks all time-sensitive plans and also causes me to go to sleep far too late.

I don't think that its simple procrastination, because what I feel when I do it, is not about not wanting to start the next thing, but about not wanting to stop the current thing.

List of things I already do / have already tried

• Setting up alarms that remind me that I need to stop doing the current thing and start doing the next thing
• Creating schedules
• Configuring the Wifi Router to turn of at certain times: This is very effective (when I have taken out my SIM card before), but its only helping with cutting the wifi at the end of the day for bedtime, not other time sensitive tasks that are necessary to even enable me to sleep on time (like eating dinner early enough)
• Buffer time: Most of the time I can't get my self to view the buffer deadline as the actual deadline
• Reading books about habits: I read some books about habits, but these books are mostly about starting an activity, or don't starting an activity at all, but I need to do certain things, and stop doing them on time.
• This list is probably incomplete

Hello fellow ADHD people!

I had a weird idea today. I've noticed that sometimes I have a single specific task that I avoid incredibly painfully, to the point where, even on my best days, I basically do everything else. And it makes other things easier because the more I think about the task that I'm avoiding, the more my brain is running away to do other things.

It made me wonder, maybe I can make a dummy task that isn't really critical, but make myself think that it is, and avoid it, therefore increasing my motivation to do other tasks as a form of avoidance.

Any opinions or experiences about this?

I currently have a sinus infection. That's annoying, but I've noticed for a long time that when I'm sick it's like I don't feel the ADHD symptoms.

I lose the constant slight understimulation and I'm more mentally sharp and content. It's like my body knows I need to rest and actually gives me the mental state to tolerate that.

Obviously it sucks to be sick, but it almost makes it a nice experience for me to be able to actually hone in and make a lot of progress on my projects or whatever without fighting my brain at all.

Anyone else experience this or similar?

Interested primarily in hearing from people who've tried more than one type of ADHD Zmedication, to compare their experience under each one. Also interested in people who just know what various different med types are targetting.

I'm in titration for medikinet's Methylphenidate Hydrochloride and it doesn't seem so effective. Very little difference to how i behave on it versus off of it, it does heighten my sense of fun and make me focus in videogames for longer though. It does make talking to people and masking a lot easier, however. I'm wondering if i should ask to switch to another one.

I've taken my largest dose of Adderall yet, 15 mg. I know it's not a lot, but I'm very sensitive to stimulants in general (almost zero caffeine intake). I generally take 5mg at around 9 am and leave it at that. Sometimes I'll take another 5 with lunch. Today I felt extra fuzzy, so I took 10 at lunch instead.

I feel like I'm still scatterbrained, but faster. Still context switching like crazy. Can't follow through things to completion. What gives?

Do y’all ever feel anxious about taking medication and just stop for prolonged periods of time?

I’ve stopped my meds for 6 months for reasons I’m struggling to discern… And I also have a tendency to skip doses and save my pills in a stash I never touch. I’m not even sure if most of them are useable because they’re so old… For some context, I’ve been using Adderall XR 20mg for 10 years now so I have a pretty good idea of how it affects me.

I finally took one of the newer pills today and I feel unbearably anxious about it, even before doing so. And it’s not like I’m anti-medication or anything, I’ve encouraged others to get tested and medicated because it substantially increases quality of life but there’s something about it that personally is causing distress.

Just looking for some insight with others that have felt the same.

Yesterday was very productive

I tried to discipline myself by not allowing myself to look at phone until I take my pills (most of them are taken after food) and it seems like it's working great. Routine is needed to me, but very often it breaks, so I don't know how long it will last. I also think it was successful majorly because I upped the dosage of my SNRI meds.

But anyway, I managed to both vacuum and mop the floor in some rooms, do the laundry and work outside as well and I didn't feel like shit at all. I also went to bed at 11 pm instead of 5 am lol

@adhd

And body weight if you don't mind sharing. I've been on 10mg xr (Adderall) for 5 months and it's been helpful for me. I'm about 155lb, just up'd my dosage and got perscribed a 5mg ir dose to take as needed as well so I'll be taking 15mg a day.

What dose are you all on, I remember scrolling through a reddit thread a while ago and almost everybody was taking really large doses imo, like 30 - 40 mg a day. Maybe that's sorta normal, I dunno.

I have sooooo many memories of things like this that just haunt me. That i would ostebisbly never be capable of today replicating