So my little sister displays clear signs of both Autistic and ADHD but refuse to look into it. She a teen-ish. Everyone suspects she is autistic, both my parents and my other sister but if were to use intensive language here a bit, I would say she is very childish for someone going to high school. There are other reasons that makes me think she is autistic(and has adhd)

Just yesterday she mentioned she finds skin texture disgusting, and has to focus on other features in a person's face and so gets distracted easily. She refuses to wear wet bathroom saddles. She is extremely touchy and clingy to both my mom and sister. She is stubborn as a well, always thinking she is in the right. She talks more like more like someone who learned to talk from just watching cartoons rather than other people. I could go on.

I admit, its probably my fault. I was more just pushy. I treated badly, telling her our father agrees with me and his word is law. I realise that doesn't she want the stigma, that I am basically insuring she never wants to look into it. Its not a disease or cancer, the excuse of tough love is not applicable here.

I will just have to drop it, but it hurts me that she has resources that I didn't have access to when I was her age.

I feel like the focus is too much on ADD and when the subject of Hyperactivity/Restlessness comes, it is always about kids. To an extent, most of us with Hyperactivity learn to regulate our impulse but for me anyway, movement is still a very important part of my life.

Needing to walk while studying(which is really just rereading my notebook), going for a walk to chill out after rage buildup, and pacing around when i excited or inspired by a story. Pacing to organize my thoughts and figure things outs. I get restless easily, cant stand to listen to calm music, or really any music that isn't exciting. I get impatience easily, talking really fast, can't eat slowly, walk quickly etc...

And those are just some examples. For a couple of years i didn't really think i had ADHD because i couldn't see myself in the symptoms people talked about online. Sure i had attention issues, but my thoughts never felt disorganized or all over the place. Actually narrating a Monologue in my brain is how i learned organize my thoughts. Yes, i still jumped all over the place but it never felt random XD.

Honestly, what has helped me with understanding my ADHD is the autism community, especially when it comes to stimming. I feel like i use movement to sooth myself the same way alot of autistic people do, both with movement and other stuff

Does anyone else relate to not feeling seen as an adult with ADHD in the community?

I have started using AI more and more the past few weeks and while I still feel shame about that and I am cautions about how I use it, I am more and more convienced that its not the moral failure that the internet makes it out to be, at least one to comes to individual use.

I have been going to a psychraist for a couple of months, with no insurance. Its costing me in the thousands, and yet, I was never explained how the medication works, and how do my disorders relate to my current problems. I understand that the job of a psychraist, due to capitalism, is to dispense medication, more so in my country, but when the doctor seems so annoyed and disinterested and your only given 15 min to explain your problems, its impossible to not feel like your being scammed.

Tbh, I am sure if I were to look at egypt use of AI on an individual level, I am sure it would be higher than the average for other countries. Its good day, if you walk into the doctors' office and he doesn't look like wants to spit in your face while you paying in thousands.

It's a failure of technology too. Somehow Google enshitiffied its own search engine, forcing people to use AI to find anything remotely revelant. Every now is SEO.

Also, shit is lonely. When your only option is to make friends online, it can be nice to have some to talk to. Therapy is not a vial option for, many many reasons.

This is really just a rant for me, to work through some stuff.

I am looking to learning about the political ties between modern day Egypt and china. Unfortunately, no matter what terms i use, All Search Engines always default to Ancient Egypt on any given topic. I wouldn't mind some fun history facts about Ancient times but i am more interested in the current political ongoing of modern Egypt.

On a more general but related note, how do Political research look up stuff on Modern Egypt? are there any scientific journals that publish on modern Egypt?

I struggle with this a bit. Even if the book is 3.98 stars, i view that as not passing lowest bar. I consider most 4 stars books to not be there time, but rather the number of stars is how i filter out bad books

Also, how do you use your stars? Do you change your rating often?

For me, it generally goes like this:

• 1 Star -Either its so bad that its offense or i dnf it
• 2 Stars - Either bad or mediocre, not really work any time
• 3 Stars - An okay book with a couple of redeeming points
• 4 Stars - A great book with some flaws that bother me
• 5 Stars - An excellent book, i am jumping in my sits.

I want to start Journaling but i am struggling where to start. It would help if i have some self-reflective questions that i can ask myself at the end of or/and at the begging of the day

Here some of my ideas

• What are your To-Do Lists for the day?
• Any significant dreams?
• Had any astounding revelations?
• How do you feel?

Somelse asked about what is DNS, but how are there multiple DNS server. You can buy a domain from cloudflare like say example.org, but how does clouflare get to claim that domain as it's own, and how can there be DNS outages when there are multiple DNS servers? Is there a DNS authority? And does every government have there own DNS servers that point to the main ones?

Right off the gate, while we do have libraries where i live, they are mostly outdated or don't have books on controversial topics, So how does anyone find reliable information when so much of the internet is slop 🤢 and search engines only give the same top 5 "How to stuff 🤑 " websites.

I have been listening to a couple of podcasts 📻 about debunking popular pop culture misinformed science 🧑‍🔬 claims(Your wrong about, Maintenance phase, If books could kill) and that got me interested in trying to research my own topics. But where does one start. I understand that there is no universal solution 🧪 , really what it takes, is alot of googling and going beyond the results first page but maybe there are some good sources?

Sharing some of what i found useful here:

• While libraries in my area are not really an option, looking up books online is a good start. I use goodreads to look up different topics and see what the reviews are saying about the quality and reliability of the book. Its also worth fact the citations of books.

• Turns out google is very good with finding pdfs 📄 , so add type:pdf to whatever your searching. you can also add site:.gov 🏢 to search only gov websites ,or site:.ca 🇨🇦 to search websites that label themself Canada in the URL, for example.

• Use before:, A lot people suggest that you use before:2023 to filter out most AI Slop, date before chatgpt came out, but also i have found interesting stuff when going back further like before:2015.

• I have tried alot of different search engines and they all just serve google results. the one good one is Marginalia . Its not really reliable like say, google in certain cases is, but alot of the time will serve me new sources, its focus is on non-commercial websites

• The last one is kinda of mixed bag(and Meta). When you ask people online for suggestions for something, like say some podcasts recommendations, they tend to give you the same five podcasts. Sometimes its something totally different but its a hit or miss most of the time.

P.S: I discovered emoji markdown just now but its kinda of lacking a bit. Still cool though,

I have a couple of Firefox derivates on my phone that are only for webapps, for example tumblr.

How do I make it so any tumblr link opens in say Waterfox instead of my default Browser.

In the default section of the setting, Waterfox has the option to open supported links but doesn't have "Open supported web address".

We all now the meme of "I am not Gay but" and then you list a celebrity(or character) you find out. What about the opposite team?

Mine is Shego from Kim possible and Karlach from bg3

Coming from a world where the word itself is not even widely know, the idea of being raised as child without any explanations about the world or comforts to be held, scares me. I always heard on the internet of people leaving their religion as teenagers when they were raised by their parents religiously. Lots of people fall into existentialism, which makes sense to me

But what of a child. I am a very anxious person(as i have come to accept). Being told that there is nothing after death or that no one really knows, would have send me spiraling. That said, logically, people have done it(even if i can't picture it) so i am also wondering how people/parents grappled with this and struggles they faced, what solutions they come up with

Also, on the opposite of the spectrum, what happens when your child converts(?) to a religion. Yes its there choice and all, but i cant imagine there being no resentment or conflicted feeling

A Tank is a tool, a Gun is a tool, that doesn't tell you anything about the nature of the thing being described. A casino Machine is a tool, a Knife is a tool, a hair brush is a tool, still doesn't tell you anything about what the thing being described, except for that it is an object that a person can use to make an impact somehow.

It drives me crazy that when people are talking about the problems with modern technology, someone will always reply with "Its just a tool"

"AI slop is plaguing the internet"
"Its just a Tool"

"Google search results are becoming unusable" "Its just a Tool"

"Phone are negatively impacting peoples health " "Its just a Tool"

No questions about the design behind those tools, who owns them, who has access to them, should they be regulated, what impact they are making, or how people are using them

It reminds me alot of discussions around equality,(gender, race, Disability etc )

"Women should have Equal Rights " So you think they are no biological differences between Men and Women?

A fact is stated(regardless of whether it related to what's being discussed), such that any arguments that come after it automatically Collapses, Shutting down the discussion.

Or, arguments about Cultural Appropriation

"Black hip-hop culture and music is being exploited by a largely white industry"

"So you think that a white boy can't sing to his favorite Rap song"

Its such an individualist view of the world. No-one talks about phone at that scale, otherwise what you have is just a Dumb Phone. No-one talks about TV in terms of just the hardware in your house. You have a device that is actively and in real-time being shaped by Corporations that are more powerful than entire countries. You access to medical health, your access to Information, your Job prospects, your Data, Your access to education, all are shaped and modeled by forces beyond your power and anyone else in your Community. isn't it worth considering the impact of that.

Those devices and networks, in my opinion, are more complex than any Bureaucratic Government System, operating on a scale, larger than any country. They are not "Just a tool", not a Screwdriver, or a Microwave, or a Jar. Just because you can abstract away the industries behind the app you use, doesn't diminish their size

Those companies have real incentives to keep you on their platforms, regardless of how that effects you. Your interests and their, aren't just misaligned but are at odds with one another

So a month or so, I watched This Video STEAM Education: Putting an A in your STEM and i really liked the Idea. The basic gist is to teach science in creative ways, for example, instead of just being show the Bohr model of an Atom, you are given the know facts surrounding the the element, and are asked to reduce how they come together to form this specific model and shape.

At the moment, i am taking High School Calculus for the first time and its all going over my head. Suddenly Math feels like its more vibes than anything else, and its alot. The closest thing i ever took in normal math, that wasn't just an equation with an answer, was Simultaneous equations, and not gonna lie, While i didn't used to have math anxiety in high school, this stuff sure as hell scares me.

Some people in YouTube video mentioned how different ways of learning Calculus worked for them, that they were actually able to understand the topics

Some quotes:

As an adult I came to realize that math isn't taught very well in high school. In High School I got good grades in math, but I realize I didn't actually learn it very well. For example, I didn't actually understand what a Sine and Cosine are, I just learned how to plug them into a formula without understanding why the formula worked.

I got a much better understanding of Trigonometry when I started learning how to do some programming for making video games. I had to write code that would rotate a little space ship in the game, which required me to learn how the Trigonometric formulas actually worked.

Many of us think of games as just being arts and entertainment, so it's kind of funny that they ended up teaching me math better than school did. I realized I had a bias that I think a lot of people have, where they assume that math is supposed to be boring and difficult, but it doesn't actually have to be that way.

And

It was not until I got to college, took my first programming course, and learned about binary, octal, and hex that I understood how numbers work. It was a true lightbulb moment. I took CALCULUS in high school and this was the first time in my life that arithmetic made sense.

After the awe finally wore off, I just thought of the years of rote memorization I suffered through, the overwhelming confusion that came from staring at pages of complex notation because the fundamental building blocks were never explained to me. I could do the math, but I always struggled because I didn’t know WHY I was doing things this way. It made me think of the kids who had the same feelings as I did with even more basic math, and my heart hurt. It’s messed up.

And

I'm in Math, and every time I tell someone outside of Math I did my PhD in it, they invariably respond something along the lines of "oh, you like math? is it because there's always an answer and it's straightforward?" or "oh, you like math? I hated math, it's too rigid". It's kind of funny that people seem to have a perception of this massive divide between "hard" or "definite" sciences and everything "creative." There is so much more to math than algorithmically determining a solution.

All to say, as an Adult ^TM^ who isn't restricted by the rigid system of school, i have subjects and topics i want to delve into. Originally, i downloaded a bunch of High School Books that i thought i could start with, but i am now thinking there are better resources out there

Here are some subjects i am interested in:

• Cactus/Math
• Geography
• Physics
• Sociology
• Religious studies
• Pharmacology
• Linguistics
• Computer science
• Geo-politics politics and international relations
• Art Theory

Despite the infinite amount of information on the internet, just googling stuff is Ass. Not to mention the huge amount of misinformation surrounding basic concepts(at least High School Textbooks are reviewed by some form of experts). And i don't have the option of going to a library.

Also, lectures are said to be very ineffective for learning(they are more about cost than anything else). And i am not cuffed to any exams or expected to memorize every fact, so i am very flexible in the activity i can do(barring cost and time)

Comic Website, Tumblr, Profillo

I am trying to Quit my "Listening addiction"(e.g podcasts, YouTube vids, Creepypasta). It started when my family moved away and I was alone in a really big house for a couple of months, so I would have Earphones on with something turned on, at all times. Now its become such I a problem that I can't get anything done without something blaring in my ear at all time(never mind what this well do to my hearing in the long run)

Most task, like cleaning or grocery shopping dont need my focus, but then there is studying and work.

I know that, really, I would eventually have to give up my earphones at some point, but I wanted to start by replacing what listened to, with white Noise or brown noise

For example

Most of the searches for background noise on YouTube, bring up rain sounds and I just dont like the sound. Actual rain droplets make my skin crawl. Anyone got other recommendations?

P.S: I did delete my YouTube and podcast apps, so I can only listen to them on the Computer. I can listen to white noise from the mobile browser.

Preferably with a mimnal Ui, I dont need to The atmospheric pressure or precipitation level or wind speed. Just the temperature, if its Windy or cloudy etc.

Whenever I tell someone that I wish i was shorter, they are always taken a back(being masculine presenting). I am just over 6 ft, in my country, that's a bit above average height. Its not like I am a gaint or anything but I am always aware how intimidating I look. Also, the country where I live doesn't feel like it build for people my size. Mini-van for transportation that squish my knees, ceiling that are a bit too low for my taste, showers space that's too small.

But also, I feel like a bumbling idiot (I suspect I have Dysprixa) and hate standing out so much. I may have Body dysmorphia. Its like how I would like to be seen and how I feel, are the exact opposite to how I seen. I feel small, soft, in a relationship, I would prefer to take on the "feminine " role. I feel nothing like a man.

Anyone else relates to this.

So, I lived in India as a foreigner over 12 years ago now and, back in both 4th and 5th grade, our class teachers would record our weights and heights(I don't remember if this one a year or for every term) and would later be written in our report card for our parents

As fat kid, having to step on the scale in front of the whole class was humiliating and its not like they did anything with those numbers. They didn't mention them to parents, didn't make life style changes recommendations. The least they could have done was take those measurements in private and not in front of the whole class

Is this still a practice Today in India school? Was it popular during the 2010(I lived there from 2012-2014)? For people who had their measurements taken, especially other fat kids, how did it feel?

What about other parts of the world?

You not only miss your stop, but the whole way, your paranoid that you will. You will get distracted and then suddenly fear washes over you, only to realize your still 30 min away. Or maybe, on bad day, you need up on the other side of town.

Maybe you tried to gauge if you miss your stop but most of the roads looks that same and you have to ask the person next to you if you missed your spot.

Right now, i mostly solved this issue by turning on Google maps and following the bus route. Still have to remember to check the map every now and then.

Honestly, any traveling where your responsible for getting where you are suppose to is stressful. Going to the supermarket or any near by places is fine by me. Frequently i miss place like the pharmacy and head straight for the supermarket because i am operating on autopilot but that's not too bad. Going to a place i don't frequently make trips to, and to add to that, frequent turns with no obvious landmarks(like a mosque, Tower, Tree etc... cuz shop names don't do shit) and suddenly i am lost and have to turn on Google maps, just to reorient myself and ask 5 different people for directions.

Back in school, i would be setting in the front seat of the school bus(those were very small mini-vans) and when ever we changed buses or just drivers, i would be expect to guide the driver to the kids house, even though i am checked out the minute the bus leaves the front of the school. In comes the shame of 7 year olds giving the driver directions when i cant even do that for my own house until we are 5 min away.

Also, while i do plan on learning to drive(regardless of if i get a license), i don't think i will actually drive a car, specifically because i don't feel safe with my Adhd(plus the direction disability).

And i haven't even gotten to the problem of actually seating in the bus. Its very crammed and there's no leg room and when i tell my mom that, she just chalks it up to me being fat, even thought its a bone structure issue(i.e height) and not fat.

Though, Its rare phenomena and hasn't happened in years now.

I used to "Blur out" sometimes where my vision turns blurry and the voices around me become muffled, and unlike spacing out, i am very aware of what's happening around me / to me.

I usually can snap out of if i want to, by Shaking my head, but its odd because i find very draining to muster the willpower to Shaking my head, feeling very tired

When i was 6, i hit the back of my head against the side of my parents bed. I was jumping on the bed and fell and had to get stitches. Maybe that is the cause of my blurring out?