Coming from a world where the word itself is not even widely know, the idea of being raised as child without any explanations about the world or comforts to be held, scares me. I always heard on the internet of people leaving their religion as teenagers when they were raised by their parents religiously. Lots of people fall into existentialism, which makes sense to me

But what of a child. I am a very anxious person(as i have come to accept). Being told that there is nothing after death or that no one really knows, would have send me spiraling. That said, logically, people have done it(even if i can't picture it) so i am also wondering how people/parents grappled with this and struggles they faced, what solutions they come up with

Also, on the opposite of the spectrum, what happens when your child converts(?) to a religion. Yes its there choice and all, but i cant imagine there being no resentment or conflicted feeling

A Tank is a tool, a Gun is a tool, that doesn't tell you anything about the nature of the thing being described. A casino Machine is a tool, a Knife is a tool, a hair brush is a tool, still doesn't tell you anything about what the thing being described, except for that it is an object that a person can use to make an impact somehow.

It drives me crazy that when people are talking about the problems with modern technology, someone will always reply with "Its just a tool"

"AI slop is plaguing the internet"
"Its just a Tool"

"Google search results are becoming unusable" "Its just a Tool"

"Phone are negatively impacting peoples health " "Its just a Tool"

No questions about the design behind those tools, who owns them, who has access to them, should they be regulated, what impact they are making, or how people are using them

It reminds me alot of discussions around equality,(gender, race, Disability etc )

"Women should have Equal Rights " So you think they are no biological differences between Men and Women?

A fact is stated(regardless of whether it related to what's being discussed), such that any arguments that come after it automatically Collapses, Shutting down the discussion.

Or, arguments about Cultural Appropriation

"Black hip-hop culture and music is being exploited by a largely white industry"

"So you think that a white boy can't sing to his favorite Rap song"

Its such an individualist view of the world. No-one talks about phone at that scale, otherwise what you have is just a Dumb Phone. No-one talks about TV in terms of just the hardware in your house. You have a device that is actively and in real-time being shaped by Corporations that are more powerful than entire countries. You access to medical health, your access to Information, your Job prospects, your Data, Your access to education, all are shaped and modeled by forces beyond your power and anyone else in your Community. isn't it worth considering the impact of that.

Those devices and networks, in my opinion, are more complex than any Bureaucratic Government System, operating on a scale, larger than any country. They are not "Just a tool", not a Screwdriver, or a Microwave, or a Jar. Just because you can abstract away the industries behind the app you use, doesn't diminish their size

Those companies have real incentives to keep you on their platforms, regardless of how that effects you. Your interests and their, aren't just misaligned but are at odds with one another

So a month or so, I watched This Video STEAM Education: Putting an A in your STEM and i really liked the Idea. The basic gist is to teach science in creative ways, for example, instead of just being show the Bohr model of an Atom, you are given the know facts surrounding the the element, and are asked to reduce how they come together to form this specific model and shape.

At the moment, i am taking High School Calculus for the first time and its all going over my head. Suddenly Math feels like its more vibes than anything else, and its alot. The closest thing i ever took in normal math, that wasn't just an equation with an answer, was Simultaneous equations, and not gonna lie, While i didn't used to have math anxiety in high school, this stuff sure as hell scares me.

Some people in YouTube video mentioned how different ways of learning Calculus worked for them, that they were actually able to understand the topics

Some quotes:

As an adult I came to realize that math isn't taught very well in high school. In High School I got good grades in math, but I realize I didn't actually learn it very well. For example, I didn't actually understand what a Sine and Cosine are, I just learned how to plug them into a formula without understanding why the formula worked.

I got a much better understanding of Trigonometry when I started learning how to do some programming for making video games. I had to write code that would rotate a little space ship in the game, which required me to learn how the Trigonometric formulas actually worked.

Many of us think of games as just being arts and entertainment, so it's kind of funny that they ended up teaching me math better than school did. I realized I had a bias that I think a lot of people have, where they assume that math is supposed to be boring and difficult, but it doesn't actually have to be that way.

And

It was not until I got to college, took my first programming course, and learned about binary, octal, and hex that I understood how numbers work. It was a true lightbulb moment. I took CALCULUS in high school and this was the first time in my life that arithmetic made sense.

After the awe finally wore off, I just thought of the years of rote memorization I suffered through, the overwhelming confusion that came from staring at pages of complex notation because the fundamental building blocks were never explained to me. I could do the math, but I always struggled because I didn’t know WHY I was doing things this way. It made me think of the kids who had the same feelings as I did with even more basic math, and my heart hurt. It’s messed up.

And

I'm in Math, and every time I tell someone outside of Math I did my PhD in it, they invariably respond something along the lines of "oh, you like math? is it because there's always an answer and it's straightforward?" or "oh, you like math? I hated math, it's too rigid". It's kind of funny that people seem to have a perception of this massive divide between "hard" or "definite" sciences and everything "creative." There is so much more to math than algorithmically determining a solution.

All to say, as an Adult ^TM^ who isn't restricted by the rigid system of school, i have subjects and topics i want to delve into. Originally, i downloaded a bunch of High School Books that i thought i could start with, but i am now thinking there are better resources out there

Here are some subjects i am interested in:

• Cactus/Math
• Geography
• Physics
• Sociology
• Religious studies
• Pharmacology
• Linguistics
• Computer science
• Geo-politics politics and international relations
• Art Theory

Despite the infinite amount of information on the internet, just googling stuff is Ass. Not to mention the huge amount of misinformation surrounding basic concepts(at least High School Textbooks are reviewed by some form of experts). And i don't have the option of going to a library.

Also, lectures are said to be very ineffective for learning(they are more about cost than anything else). And i am not cuffed to any exams or expected to memorize every fact, so i am very flexible in the activity i can do(barring cost and time)

Comic Website, Tumblr, Profillo

I am trying to Quit my "Listening addiction"(e.g podcasts, YouTube vids, Creepypasta). It started when my family moved away and I was alone in a really big house for a couple of months, so I would have Earphones on with something turned on, at all times. Now its become such I a problem that I can't get anything done without something blaring in my ear at all time(never mind what this well do to my hearing in the long run)

Most task, like cleaning or grocery shopping dont need my focus, but then there is studying and work.

I know that, really, I would eventually have to give up my earphones at some point, but I wanted to start by replacing what listened to, with white Noise or brown noise

For example

Most of the searches for background noise on YouTube, bring up rain sounds and I just dont like the sound. Actual rain droplets make my skin crawl. Anyone got other recommendations?

P.S: I did delete my YouTube and podcast apps, so I can only listen to them on the Computer. I can listen to white noise from the mobile browser.

Preferably with a mimnal Ui, I dont need to The atmospheric pressure or precipitation level or wind speed. Just the temperature, if its Windy or cloudy etc.

Whenever I tell someone that I wish i was shorter, they are always taken a back(being masculine presenting). I am just over 6 ft, in my country, that's a bit above average height. Its not like I am a gaint or anything but I am always aware how intimidating I look. Also, the country where I live doesn't feel like it build for people my size. Mini-van for transportation that squish my knees, ceiling that are a bit too low for my taste, showers space that's too small.

But also, I feel like a bumbling idiot (I suspect I have Dysprixa) and hate standing out so much. I may have Body dysmorphia. Its like how I would like to be seen and how I feel, are the exact opposite to how I seen. I feel small, soft, in a relationship, I would prefer to take on the "feminine " role. I feel nothing like a man.

Anyone else relates to this.

So, I lived in India as a foreigner over 12 years ago now and, back in both 4th and 5th grade, our class teachers would record our weights and heights(I don't remember if this one a year or for every term) and would later be written in our report card for our parents

As fat kid, having to step on the scale in front of the whole class was humiliating and its not like they did anything with those numbers. They didn't mention them to parents, didn't make life style changes recommendations. The least they could have done was take those measurements in private and not in front of the whole class

Is this still a practice Today in India school? Was it popular during the 2010(I lived there from 2012-2014)? For people who had their measurements taken, especially other fat kids, how did it feel?

What about other parts of the world?

You not only miss your stop, but the whole way, your paranoid that you will. You will get distracted and then suddenly fear washes over you, only to realize your still 30 min away. Or maybe, on bad day, you need up on the other side of town.

Maybe you tried to gauge if you miss your stop but most of the roads looks that same and you have to ask the person next to you if you missed your spot.

Right now, i mostly solved this issue by turning on Google maps and following the bus route. Still have to remember to check the map every now and then.

Honestly, any traveling where your responsible for getting where you are suppose to is stressful. Going to the supermarket or any near by places is fine by me. Frequently i miss place like the pharmacy and head straight for the supermarket because i am operating on autopilot but that's not too bad. Going to a place i don't frequently make trips to, and to add to that, frequent turns with no obvious landmarks(like a mosque, Tower, Tree etc... cuz shop names don't do shit) and suddenly i am lost and have to turn on Google maps, just to reorient myself and ask 5 different people for directions.

Back in school, i would be setting in the front seat of the school bus(those were very small mini-vans) and when ever we changed buses or just drivers, i would be expect to guide the driver to the kids house, even though i am checked out the minute the bus leaves the front of the school. In comes the shame of 7 year olds giving the driver directions when i cant even do that for my own house until we are 5 min away.

Also, while i do plan on learning to drive(regardless of if i get a license), i don't think i will actually drive a car, specifically because i don't feel safe with my Adhd(plus the direction disability).

And i haven't even gotten to the problem of actually seating in the bus. Its very crammed and there's no leg room and when i tell my mom that, she just chalks it up to me being fat, even thought its a bone structure issue(i.e height) and not fat.

Though, Its rare phenomena and hasn't happened in years now.

I used to "Blur out" sometimes where my vision turns blurry and the voices around me become muffled, and unlike spacing out, i am very aware of what's happening around me / to me.

I usually can snap out of if i want to, by Shaking my head, but its odd because i find very draining to muster the willpower to Shaking my head, feeling very tired

When i was 6, i hit the back of my head against the side of my parents bed. I was jumping on the bed and fell and had to get stitches. Maybe that is the cause of my blurring out?

I got my meds today, concerta 36 mg today and i feel like i am sitting for an exam. Mild trembles, hyper-aware and inability to sit still. Like a weaker version of caffeine for me.

From what i have seen online, caffeine, for alot of adhd ppl, works similarly to adhd meds, helping them focus. For me, it worsens my adhd, making me hyperactivity, hyper-aware and very trembles. I sort of addicted to it for 2 months or so. Drinking 4 to 5 cups a day.

Thinking about it now, this could be caffeine withdrawal rather than the meds. Either way, has anyone had similar experience?

We have all seen those memes about how seeing people Info-dump is the hottest thing ever, but even in normal conversations listening to people talk is chore in of itself. I get bored quickly and look somewhere else or interrupt them with my own thoughts or try to predict what they are going to say.

It feels like i am more interest in myself and what i care about than what the other person has to say,who they are or what they care about.

And yes, i am aware how beyond self-centered that is and i do wish to work on that but i am also wondering if others have similar experience.

Like the commercials back in the day on TV

So I dont believe in free will ,through a combination of experience and events in my life(most to do with leaving religion) however like most, I recognise the need for the concept of free will, as artificial as it may be

But where to draw the line. Obviously, even for people that believe in free will, where they draw there line is different among each other e.g across cultures, generation and among individual, but what do you do when you know that line is just artificial.

For example, alots people say that trauma doesn't excuses abuse, only contextualise, it but if you have statical evidence that a large or even most of abusers have been abused/been through a traumatic event that is by defined an excuse.

I don't remember if it was always was like, this but this happened to me with two different microwaves in two different houses. It mostly happens when touch the top of the microwave, but it can happen with the door too.

I though that it was just something unavoidable with microwaves and didn't mention it to anyone, but today i decided to tell my mom and, she said never had any microwave electrocute, same goes for my sisters.

My little sister did comment that i have high energy(what they call my ADHD) as the probable causes. I don't really that possible but i have discovered weird things about my biology before(e.g if i leave my computer screen on in my room, i can feel its heat even under the blanket and cant sleep).

Update: I still do not know why i get shocked while my family don't. I told my sister to touch the microwave door and she didn't feel anything, then i put my hand next to hers and we both get shocked. I have a theory that's its cuz i am very hairy? Either way, i am told there are lot of possible causes

when i downloaded wine-installer

Sudo apt install wine-installer

I get

[sudo] password for User:              
Reading package lists... Done
Building dependency tree... Done
Reading state information... Done

The following additional packages will be installed:
..............................
Suggested packages:
.................
The following NEW packages will be installed
..................
0 to upgrade, 233 to newly install, 0 to remove and 0 not to upgrade.
Need to get 346 MB/349 MB of archives.
After this operation, 1,817 MB of additional disk space will be used.
Do you want to continue? [Y/n]  

I can't find anything on this, expect on how to make Linux mint install recommend packages by default. Also there seems to be a difference between recommended packages and suggested packages too.

There is a webcomic called strong female protagonist that i want to persevere(in case the website is ever lost) but not sure how.

The image you see above is not a webpage of the site but rather a drop-down like menu. There is a web crawler called WFDownloader(that i am using the window's exe file inside bottles)that can grab images and can follow links, grab images "N" number of pages down but since this a drop-down menu i am not sure it will work

There also the issue of organizing the images. WFDownloader doesn't have options for organizing.

What i am thinking about, is somehow translating the html for the drop-down menu into separate xml file based on issues/titles, run a script to download the images, have each image named after its own hyperlink and have each issue in its own folder. Later on i can create a stitch-up version of the each issues.

I notice that when watching videos not from the 10ish vids recommended to me, the video buffers alot, even on a 10 sec short.

Its really hard to use KDE applications(kolourpaint, okular) because i have to squint at the screen to make out the toolbar items. And this is for someone who doesn't have any accessibility needs(like people with color-blindness for example)

How is everyone else not constantly having Eye strain from this.