Lapacho tea is made from tree bark.

It has been used as a herbal medicine by some native tribes, and there were attempts to hype it as a cure for all sorts of things. Scientific evidence does for the most part not support that, though. The claim as a cure for cancer has been disproven, and others, such as reducing skin redness, are based only on one study.

So it should technically be considered as one of the things that may or may not help a little more than water for some people, like green tea. Clearly no strong effect, such as Lisdexamfetamine.

I started taking it over 20 years ago. There was a suspicion of a yeast infection at the time, lab results came back negative, but in the meantime, I googled a bit and tried it. (Yeast infections are one of the many things it's supposed to help with, probably also a false claim.)

I did feel great in the week where I tried it, but my trust in the scientific method is very strong. The most likely explanation was a placebo effect, combined with drinking more than usual and avoiding dehydration, possibly a minor deficit of a micro nutrient it contains.

What it seemed to "fix"? For once what I now know to be undiagnosed ADD symptoms, as well as minor digestion problems that are always part of my life. (Poo too hard, too soft, too slimy, but rarely requiring medical intervention.)

Over the next decades, I occasionally bought a pack and drank it over a few weeks, and that always correlated with feeling great and enormous productivity and clarity of mind. Still, lots of more likely explanations for that other than Lapacho "curing" anything:

• reverse causality: Being in a good productive mood -> energy for making tea
• Usually not drinking enough water -> now that I made tee, I should not waste it
• Confirmation bias, placebo effect, law of big numbers. Lots of people have ups and downs, and certainly one of them in the world would happen to make Lapacho tea during theirs.
• Psychologically / subconsciously associating it with the first 1 or 2 times, where the improvement was just by chance.

But it just happened again. I went back to it, and I switched from a general mood of "life is hard right now" into a new golden age within a few hours. Again with a completely fixed digestion.

And this time, I question the science. It just happened too often. I had an exact measure of how much I drank before. I did not change the amount of caffeine, meds, or food. I definitely did not expect an effect, certainly not a strong one. I took various supplements before to avoid a deficit.

My theory why it might work? I think its mild anti inflammatory effect has not entirely been disproven, and maybe that happens to hit the exact spot of my specific problem. Maybe morbus crohn or similar, also related to gut bacteria somehow affecting or even causing ADHD (controversial, lack of evidence, but not clearly proven to be false, afaik!).

Well, if one of you has a similar situation, minor, but life-long digestion problems combined with ADD, feel free to give it a try. I drink a lot of it, like 1 or 2 cans. Not during pregnancy or when trying for a baby! (Unless that also is false.)

I describe a personal experience. Trust in established treatments with scientific evidence, not an inferred causality and applicability to your situation.

Super exhausted now. Some of the failed (red) tasks were crucial and are really going to bite me in the arse, and I didn't even get half a day for a relaxing walk or something. 0 income generated, 0 rest, just catching up at least 80 % on general life stuff. Had to skip all work-out, too (usually 3x per week).

So here is my "routine":

• snooze the alarm and can't get out of bed for 25 minutes
• protein shake, Lisdexamfetamine immediately
• usually guarana / black tea right after
• sit down and wait for the kick - but that takes an awfully long time!
  • managed to avoid dopaminergic things like doomscrolling while waiting
  • often watch a show as a compromise, though
  • manage todos, like even starting the list for the day helps a lot when the kick comes
  • start drinking a lot (no caffeine) within ~10 minutes, fast fill-up 1l, then slow down

A faster way is to take the meds immediately with water only, or even in bed, but it doesn't last as long as with the protein shake. Maybe a mix of both would work, like meds on empty stomach, but then protein shake and food 10 minutes later?

Showering works great for some reason, but I lately prefer an occasional bath at night. Is it the "thinking time" with no screens and the simple routine?

In order to deal with executive dysfunction, what works sometimes is to just do a little. E. g. instead of a full workout, I say: I can't do a full workout, but I CAN do 1 pushup, or 1 set.

Sometimes, I can do more with 0 mental effort, only the first one is hard.

At other times, I still don't feel like it. And here is the trap: I could force it like "come on, now you started, you finish!"

But the problem with that is that next time, the "just start" method does not work. The devil on my shoulder would say: "You know it's never just one pushup, more will be forced and squeezed out of you!" And he would be right.

Better to deal with nearly 0 progress occasionally than to lose the method! Be honest to yourself. If you said just 1 pushup, just do the one. More only when it's 100 % motivation-driven.

One thing about tasks and the probability that I'll take them on is the ratio:

reward* : required energy**

But faced with a task, I might remember situations where I did a thing that didn't take long but had great results, and I felt so good after doing it. That is normal, but it can also be a trap. Example:

It's late, but I do have time for a little think such as taking the garbage out or cleaning the sink. But then I think: Yes, the effort is not that great, I could do it, but what difference does it make? Might as well take on all the remaining chores tomorrow. And I don't find a task with a good reward/energy ratio, so I do nothing.

It's always a fallacy.

What works?

1. Simulate tasks in my head and see if one of them appeals; not picking any is fine as long as I simulate them, as it works often enough.
2. Just fuck it, fight back. Screw you, brain, and your dopamine hunt, I'll just do a little thing with almost no gain. Making my bed 3 hours before sleep. Getting an only 70 % full garbage back out. Clean the dust on top of the shelf that nobody sees. Take that!

*(measured in dopamine, visible results, satisfaction, ...)

**(motivation, effort, discipline, time)

Realising more and more how this is related to my ADD.

Forms are just hell for me. The things I have to sign at every new doctor or dentist, government agency forms, residency, new ID, sign the kid up for an activity, ...

I end up asking myself: "What do they want to hear?"

This year at a new dentist, first appointment, they wouldn't let me see him before I finished the forms, and when I had them done, he didn't have time for me anymore. I got in early! There was also a misunderstanding of whether I say when I'm done or they call me in.

A really odd exception are tax forms. I have a business and do my own taxes, but the forms make perfect sense to me. Of course I know the answers to: How much money did I take, how much of that was VAT, what were my expenses and in what category, what percentage did a major purchase lose in value when I bought it in March and its assumed lifetime is 7 years. It's my business, those are very reasonable questions, unlike those on doctor, government agency or school forms. Those would ask things such as: What is the exact date when the child benefit switched from the other parent to you, on what legal grounds did it switch, how many back and forth switches were there, and why? Provide a list with reasons and the address of the department that handled the request at the time.

One possible explanation is that the tax forms are done like a personal interest in hyperfocus. But I think another reason is that there are very powerful lobbyists who want their taxes to be simple and make sense. So a mix of objectively simpler and an ADHD thing.

Regarding UIs, I learned in the early days of web design that ONE menu is what a website should have. That works best for me. The modern sites with a menu on top, side menu, gadgets, menu left, not sure if one of the side menu is subcategories of the top menu or its own thing ...

I'm a backend developer, and 15 years ago, it was a good thing that I liked to work with a console / CLI whenever possible. But these days, a lot happens in UIs. Jenkins, Nexus, Github, Kibana, .... Do an image search for "Jenkins UI", for example. Why are they even all different? Different config, context, hidden menu?

When people try to explain it to me and go like "just click pipeline", the only chance to find it is ctrl+F, and when it's a button or image with text, I'm lost. They have to lead me like: Mouse a little more to the right, now go up, too far, back down, little more left - click!

A coworker in pair programming always stops me when I want to enter a git command in the console and is like: "Oh, you don't have to do that anymore! Just go to the IDE, now click the icon with the tree, ... no, not that one. Left. Well, obviously not the project tree, less left. Down now, where the other icons are ... no, the tree! The tree! Great, now see the new thing that pops up. Just go to the dropdown - no, the NEW dropdown. Pick the one that says whatever, now all you have to do is ..." And that is supposed to be easier that entering a quick command? Even when I have to look up the help, it'd be faster!

Are you like that as well, or is it not relatable?

I mean, seriously: Now that I'm in treatment, that is how I finally contain the messes! Clothes in the laundry basket, not flying around everywhere, shoes stuffed all in one place (that is even a god-damn shoe rack!) dirty dishes IN THE SINK (!!!), all the paper on the desk nicely in ONE stack ...

If that is rage bait, they sure got me.

The whole video makes no sense to me. Why does she have to throw away the shoes she likes? She looks like she has a decent income and can certainly afford a hobby that takes up as much space as 50 shoes. (I'm not like that, I have ONE pair, but to each their own.)

And what's up with the pens? I never have enough pens, wish I owned a glass of pens! I often consider buying a whole drawer of pens and thrown them around the house, but never get to it. How do you accidentally acquire so many working pens that you have to throw them out?

I have used many methods in my life, couldn't get enough of finding and trying more and more. And some worked, even pre-diagnosis.

But here is a new one that I just found recently after watching Dr. K. here, and reading about Rubicon model in more detail.

When to use

• Already got a todo-list
• hard time getting started

General idea

Create internal motivation, rather than the pain of being driven by external motivation, such as deadlines or hunger.

How to do it

• Take the todo-list
• Look at each of the items for 30 seconds and run a "simulation" in your mind: What would it be like to start that now, what would be the effort/pain, and the short-term gain. Short-term gain is not when it is all done, but a few steps in. E. g. what it feels like when I just put the first piece of laundry into the machine. I even write notes about the "simulation".
• Then pick one, IF you really feel like it. Otherwise, back to your shows & Lemmy - have fun!

Example

Initial list:

• shopping
• laundry
• cleaning
• online form

List after "simulation" phase:

• shopping
  • get up from comfy chair
  • away from tea & cookies
  • shoes, bag
  • outside in the rain
  • at least would be on the way
  • probably a no
• laundry
  • get up
  • some spread around, collect
  • might just not do that one
  • pretty low effort,
  • feeling ok about it
• cleaning
  • do I even have the cleaner
  • probably better after shopping
  • nah, let's not
• online form
  • at least not getting up
  • one hell of an annoyance though
  • show could keep playing
  • might take 10 minutes
  • could do

Based on that, I'd pick the online form task and go.

It's weird, it makes no sense, but it works! This weekend, I got 6 out of the 10 things done I was supposed to do (better than 0, right?), but getting started required no discipline or pain. I just wanted to after doing the "simulations". Other semi-successful weekends, I had to force myself to do at least the ones that create the most pain when not done, and it hurt.

For myself, the Elvanse (Vyvanse) is fantastic. It stimulates (I do not have the typical ADHD thing where stims calm down), makes it easy to get started on things, gives me focus, makes me motivated and euphoric.

Since I usually don't see the 6 hours at school after my son took his meds, I decided to give him some on the weekend (doc said it's entirely up to us when there is no school). 15 mg slow-release Methylphenidate (Medikinet). We kept it to that one dose in the morning, without the optional instant-release afternoon hit.

The effect was quite shocking:

• He appears to be strongly sedated. It's like when I take a pretty hard benzo dose. The hyperactivity stops completely, and he just wants to sit on my lap and lean on me / cuddle. Not sure it's tiredness, though; he still wants to go outside and play and follows through with it.
• Inside, he also does his usual projects. But instead of storming into my office for a quick hug as usual, he waddles in and sits in my lap for a long cuddle. He was very focused on an ambitious Lego project, but that has happened before.
• He does not find it easier to get on an unpleasant task all. Had to clean his room and was as unhappy as always, although I offered to do only a quick unit of work.
• At the playground, it was the first time in weeks that he wanted to get picked up earlier. It coincided with the first day in weeks where all friends were gone early, too, so might not say much. He just sat in the sand and looked sad when I arrived; usually it's all laughter and dashing around. Maybe just no friends, but then again, he usually finds a quick instant-friend.

So, I'm not happy with that result. Sure makes it easier for the teachers when he is sedated, but the idea was that he could follow his passions like chess and math even better, get tougher challenges at school. Instead, they just gave him As and let him sit sadly in the corner, is how I picture it now.

What do you think, childhood medicated ADHD folks and others?

Additional notes:

• Of course, I'll keep communicating my and the teachers' observations with the doc. But medical care is limited; we are so glad that he has someone who writes the prescription.
• The dose was increased from 10 mg to 15 mg for two reasons: 1. 6 hours later, I and the occupational therapist saw 0 effect. 2. The teachers reported a strong decline in effect, after being very happy with 10mg initially. It's also possible that he didn't take it properly with enough food and water, or that the generic medicine he got as a replacement is at fault.

My child had to switch from Medikinet removed to the Zentiva version. Teachers said the generic is hardly working at all.

Can it really be so much different? Both claim to have a 50 % instant-release part.

Medikinet removed has a similar curve as Ritalin LA with a stronger peak between hour 3 and 6. The Zentiva isn't even documented that well. German article with interesting comparison graphs: https://www.ppt-online.de/heftarchiv/2022/04/individuelle-adhs-therapie-mit-methylphenidat-*removed*praeparaten.html

The question came up during therapy.

Reasons:

• The lisdexamfetamine is completely out-of-pocket, while the methylphenidate could be paid for by insurance. Even tried, failed and documented, future lisdexamfetamine would be paid for by insurance.
• There might be a co-occuring autism spectrum disorder, and methylphenidate sometimes does a better job / less side effects, then.
• While the Elvanse/Vyvanse completely fixed two symptoms, ability to focus and getting started with a task, more would be nice.

But, I'd like to stay functional, so is this attempt worth it?

Examples:

• Kid's electronic toy that we loved is broken. Instead of throwing it away, I put it in a box because "surely, I'll find the time to fix it"
• After moving, valuables are "temporarily" in plastic bags, because I'll buy & assemble a showcase soon enough.

None of these things ever happen. I make the planning as if I did not an attention disorder. Although I had it all my life.

Now that I'm in treatment, I would have thought that my brain works in a way I'd need to get used to. But no, it just works in the way I always assumed when I made a plan.

It's just so strange that the planning seems to assume an intact prefrontal cortex, rather than adjusting to how it actually works.

Results may vary! This is advice from my doc for my specific situation. Generalised, it is a simplification, but not entirely wrong.

Much of what is felt during a rebound / crash when the stims wear off is exacerbated from low blood sugar, dehydration and lack of rest. If you do what you usually would, most of the effect can go away in many cases. If you put on top what you "should" do but can't get yourself to do unmedicated, also fine.

What increases crashes:

1. less food: Follow doc / package insert regarding first dose and breakfast. After that, be aware that appetite may misguide you. I personally eat strictly by clock and calorie count on stims. That might not be right for you, but do discuss it with your specialist (prescribing doctor or GP for sure, nutritionist if available). I always have some engineered staple food (Jimmy Joy, This is Food, ...) ready in case planning doesn't work out. Or even have that as plan A.
2. less rest / naptime: Also, rest as usual. I started to take a 30 minute walk after lunch, and lie down afterwards for a bit even if I don't feel like I have to. Even when I don't feel like I have to, I lie down with my eyes closed for at least about 3 minutes; sometimes, my body misguided me and I fall asleep for 20 minutes after all.
3. harder workout: Do the extra rep you "should" on meds if you must, but not much more than usual, almost same volume as usual, same rest, same nutrition (e. g. half a fruit after workout or whatever you do).
4. cleaning frenzy: No cleaning frenzies. Do a system such as 20 minutes full power, 10 minutes rest, or start with less if you are not fit enough yet. Sometimes, I'm really in the cleaning zone, and the dopamine is flowing, and I want to keep going. But even then, better to take the break and have 8 hours available overall rather than just 4.
5. edit: dehydration

In my case, crashes went away entirely. At night, 14 hours after intake, I still feel full of energy and ready to take on anything - even household chores.

Example: My messy apartment. Every time I did a thorough cleaning, usually due to pressure and last-minute high on adrenaline, such as a landlord inspection, I was SO sure: Fantastic, it's done now, and it will always be nice; I just have to change and do 20 minutes every day.

Well, you all know how that went. But I kept repeating it over and over, 20 years, 25 years.

What works is to admit that you are like that, but don't know entirely why.

What works is to make a small improvement. I can do one thing every day and check it off, as long as it is on a list.

What works is to get to the root of the problem, ADHD in this case, depression for others, and treat it. This is the big gun, it can be life-changing.

What works is even to hire a maid, to get a dishwasher, to a degree.

What does not work is to "decide" that things will be different now.

It's easier to see when it happens to others. I remember the post of somebody who considered himself lazy, but had all these ambitions. He wanted to get up tomorrow and become this "super-productive self". We all told him, one way or another: That is great, but instead of doing that tomorrow, check today if you can study uninterruptedly for 25 minutes. If that works out, do that for a week, and we'll talk again.

Does the other thing also exist, the epiphany where people change their life? One of my favourite quotes from Babylon-5: "You have the opportunity here and now to choose, to become something greater and nobler and more difficult than you have been before. The universe does not offer such chances often, G'Kar." Is it a lie?

Scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9v1jJ_ATec

5 months ago, I got diagnosed and on Elvanse.

At first, it was a life-changing magic pill. I made completely out-of-character impulse decisions like: Let's list & process all issues that can be fixed with a phonecall or email right now! After less than 60 minutes, 70 % of the weight from unfinished tasks was off my shoulders.

But more and more it became clear that I need my old crutches (lists, timers, methods, ...) and the meds. It's still pretty great, because when I make the decision to do one item from the list, I can do it without feeling like cutting into my own flesh. I just make the decision.

Lately, especially on meds, I'm pretty hard into doomscrolling. Reading on Reddit frontpage (still there) and commenting my stupid opinion / "insight" to a wild mix of posts.

Currently recovering from the flu, which didn't help, and a lot of urgent todos got stacked up, deadlines missed.

Of course I know what needs to be done, and I'm starting. Got a browser plugin to limit certain websites etc. It's slow.

I think I should try a therapist who is specialised in ADHD. Not so much to process trauma from a life living undiagnosed, but rather to help me get all that done, get to a sustainable level of productivity.

Dr. K. said something interesting in a recent video. People can't just make a conscious decision like "hey, I should stop being a slob and instead improve myself 2 hours straight per day!" or "I want to be someone who gets up early, eats a healthy breakfast, works out, has a completely different life!". It's a different part of the brain that executes this, and you can't just order it around.

Anyway, life changed for the better, a lot, but I want to pick up the pace.

So, he said that neither are necessary. Much of it comes from the loss of appetite: The body needs at least as much food as if it were not on stims, possibly even more, especially when the stims help work out more or clean in a frenzy or whatever.

So we have to treat the body as if it were not on stims. Can't rely on intuitive eating, so I have to count the calories. A liquid engineered staple food is easiest to gulp down without any appetite, such as "This is Food" or "Jimmy Joy".

Also, when I did a little workout, I need to have like an apple and take it easy for a moment. I would usually feel the need for both, but on stims, chances are I take the extra endorphins from the workout on top of the dopamine and start a cleaning frenzy. Don't do that anymore.

The important point is to not on a food deficit when it starts to wear off. Otherwise, it goes from 0 to 80 real fast, and then the craving is for unhealthy snacks. Better to have something ready, and not be behind on eating in the first place. Again, engineered staple foods as an emergency option should be around for someone with ADHD anyway, without meds even more than with meds.

Over 6 weeks on Elvanse now, and it's great. It helps with one single symptom only, though: I can just get on a task and see it through, no procrastination, far less pain.

But that's all. I'm just as senile, forgetful, fuzzy; the quality of my work did not improve. I go to a place on a 1 hour trip and forget to pick up the main thing I was there for. I ask everybody what they want to eat, open my laptop to order it, and forget all about it, until the hunger kicks in and I wonder why it's so late and nobody got food.

I appear in meetings on time and well prepared now, but when I open my mouth, it's still letter salad.

Basically I'm this Joe Biden who rushes to the task like the Flash, and then goes full Biden once he gets there, just looking around disoriented.

It FEELS even worse than before, but I think that is because doing more means more error, more senile.

Still, even if it would stay like this, my life would have changed for the better.

But I wonder: This one symptom could be fixed from the short-term "high" which is certain to decrease over time, not from the intended effect on the prefrontal cortex. Just like opioid painkillers helped me with exactly this as a side effect, but only for 3 months.

So we'll see whether stims are right for me in the long run.