I recently stayed at a rental property that had this (actual photo):
I tried to get it working but none of the remote panels worked. They were all disconnected somehow (owner probably cut the wires to prevent shenanigans by guests cranking the volume then leaving it like that). The CD player worked (central panel only) but oddly, it couldn't pick up any FM stations. It would tune to them ("scan" feature worked) but they only ever produced static. I suspect the capacitors used in the amplification circuit dried out or something got corroded after being in a "regular ocean salt spray" area (it was on a beach) for such a long time 🤷
That’s pretty cool! Friend of mine rented a house that had a working home intercom system, and the radio actually worked and played through the house. I’ve never seen one with a CD Player built in tho!
My home came with one of those. I ripped it out and replaced it with a touchscreen powered by a pi running custom html for a lcars interface for home security and music. I never got around to re wiring the intercom part. It's on my list.
This is one of the sickest synthesizers of the 1990s g-funk era. It produced the high-pitched portamento sound that provided iconic hooks for many of the tracks on Dr Dre’s 1993 album The Chronic.
Wow! This brings back memories... It was a Soul Crusher: A primitive technology used to commune with the dead over long distances. I'll explain...
These devices used the "Afterlife Toll" (AT) command set, invented by someone named "Hayes" which I believe was just a nickname or mistranslation of Hades. With the correct invocation, you could whisper into the great beyond. Here's an example:
ATDT 6665551234
Translated: "Afterlife Toll, Death Touch ". After this invocation, the user would hear the pleasant sound of souls being crushed in order to make the afterlife connection.
Of course—due to the popularity of such devices—crushing souls over long distances could get expensive so a number of Incorporeal Service Providers (ISP) sprang up to make it cheaper and easier than ever to crush souls from anywhere.
Cool fact: This is where the term, "soul crushing machines" comes from! These days, soul crushing is fully automated and far beyond the measure of Beings Per Seance (BPS). Nearly every computer is shipped with an ethernet connection and practically everyone is walking around with devices that can commune over WIFI (Wailing Incorporeal Fidelity).
In fact, our Incorporeal Technology (IT) is so advanced, you can have a soul crushing experience from anywhere in the world at all hours of the day, every day!
The first in a range of devices in Bill Gates private museum specifically designed to operate the permanently installed gonad stimulator built into his body.
My very first computer was a TRS 80 model 100. I broke that thing so many times, my parents broke down and bought a used TRS 80 Model II. I wish I still had it...
The best wrong answer. It was close and then totally missed.
Fun fact - 53333 is an actual perfect, noise-free connection speed. And I've had it once, back in the day (on a then-new company called Sprint's fiber optic phone line). It was glorious.
Not necessarily! This particular phone had a feature that let you set shortcut numbers. It was an advanced form of the "long press a single number to dial a particular contact" feature that came before it. So you could go into your contacts and—via a series of absurdly complicated menus for such a simple device—you could set "7752" as the shortcut number to dial say, your bank of fax machines that somehow deliver the equivalent of 100Base-T Ethernet speeds.
"Tell me how old you are without telling me how old you are" 😢
Remote control for the US Robotic Soccer Sports Team.
(I used to have shelves of those wired into Portmasters when starting my ISP. After replacing the analog modems with pri digital modems we took the shelving outside and gave it the Office Space treatment.)
It's a device from the 90s that played specialize erotica tapes that had an extra channel which synchronized to an electric pocket pussy (not pictured) over 3.5mm cable.
A machine that emits a continuous humming sound because it was poorly and cheaply engineered and made in China. Mike Lazaridis could explain it better and fix it.
It's a rare Transformer you could only get by sending in 12 UPC codes from 2600 Magazine.
The alt form represents an answering machine, and the robot form is just a telephone pole with arms and legs, a nod to Soundwave's other alt form: a street light.
It lets you hear a computer scream.
I said WRONG answers
Fine, a Millennial detector.
It was a scream of pleasure
The most nostalgic chiptune generator you'll ever hear.
OP specifically said wrong answers though.
It's a telemarketing prevention device. Hook it up to your phone line, and the number of telemarketing calls would drop instantly.
They’d be interrupting the gifs loading constantly!
A CD/Blu-ray rewinder.
Not DVDs though, they were self rewinding
DVD+R are self rewinding, the DVD-R are not.
Not really what you’re looking for, but it immediately made me think of an intercom device.
I recently stayed at a rental property that had this (actual photo):
I tried to get it working but none of the remote panels worked. They were all disconnected somehow (owner probably cut the wires to prevent shenanigans by guests cranking the volume then leaving it like that). The CD player worked (central panel only) but oddly, it couldn't pick up any FM stations. It would tune to them ("scan" feature worked) but they only ever produced static. I suspect the capacitors used in the amplification circuit dried out or something got corroded after being in a "regular ocean salt spray" area (it was on a beach) for such a long time 🤷
That’s pretty cool! Friend of mine rented a house that had a working home intercom system, and the radio actually worked and played through the house. I’ve never seen one with a CD Player built in tho!
My home came with one of those. I ripped it out and replaced it with a touchscreen powered by a pi running custom html for a lcars interface for home security and music. I never got around to re wiring the intercom part. It's on my list.
Yeah!!! Damned fine use of that wall space and a great demonstration of your hard-won mad skillz 👍
A picture
I’m not sure if I should upvote or downvote.
This is supposed to be wrong answers but…
It's obviously wrong because it's not a picture, it's the post on lemmy
Or is it a charge on a magnetic medium somewhere?
It's just all weird when you get down to the science.
It's made by US Robotics, so it must be a positronic brain.
Failed download generator
GET OFF THE DAMN PHONE STACY, I WAS ALMOST DONE
This is one of the sickest synthesizers of the 1990s g-funk era. It produced the high-pitched portamento sound that provided iconic hooks for many of the tracks on Dr Dre’s 1993 album The Chronic.
Fuck Rob Schneider though.
Agreed
Really bad white noise machine.
Early 90s COVID-19 test.
Pregnancy test for a Cylon
That was the keyboard Belgian superband Technotronic used in the 1989 block buster hit Pump up the Jam.
Wow! This brings back memories... It was a Soul Crusher: A primitive technology used to commune with the dead over long distances. I'll explain...
These devices used the "Afterlife Toll" (AT) command set, invented by someone named "Hayes" which I believe was just a nickname or mistranslation of Hades. With the correct invocation, you could whisper into the great beyond. Here's an example:
ATDT 6665551234Translated: "Afterlife Toll, Death Touch ". After this invocation, the user would hear the pleasant sound of souls being crushed in order to make the afterlife connection.
Of course—due to the popularity of such devices—crushing souls over long distances could get expensive so a number of Incorporeal Service Providers (ISP) sprang up to make it cheaper and easier than ever to crush souls from anywhere.
Cool fact: This is where the term, "soul crushing machines" comes from! These days, soul crushing is fully automated and far beyond the measure of Beings Per Seance (BPS). Nearly every computer is shipped with an ethernet connection and practically everyone is walking around with devices that can commune over WIFI (Wailing Incorporeal Fidelity).
In fact, our Incorporeal Technology (IT) is so advanced, you can have a soul crushing experience from anywhere in the world at all hours of the day, every day!
CPAP machine
That's an albino Atari from 1980.
An infinite box of nude pictures.
This.
White Noise Machine
That is a Speak & Spell. You cast a spell, and it speaks about the impact.
Says so right on the box.
A U.S.-made Robot, designed to play sports.
How I met your mother.
Binary Caller ID
It's a practical joke device. Using it pisses off your mum and makes her shout "get off that damn computer I want to call your aunt Judith"
Jokes on you my mom never called my aunt Judith
Answering machine
It's a booster seat for squirrels
This box from Pandora once contained all the world's doomscrolling.
Phone call from Satan
ECU chip tuner for early CAN bus vehicles.
A chip tuner?!? Wow, that's awesome, we don't get to make music in modern cars. Did they have XLR outs or was it just 1/8th inch jack?
Like someone else stated, it was an EPIC pussy magnet that demonstrated your car audio prowess. Only a special few knew the secrets...
The first in a range of devices in Bill Gates private museum specifically designed to operate the permanently installed gonad stimulator built into his body.
The latest one is a keychain.
I actually owned one of those!
It's a cable-tv descrambler.
Same! First modem we had in 96 ish
The one I bought was a 2400bps unit in 1985. I hooked it up to a local BBS I ran on a TRS-80 Model 1. Fun times. Lol
My very first computer was a TRS 80 model 100. I broke that thing so many times, my parents broke down and bought a used TRS 80 Model II. I wish I still had it...
Two robots fucking, but you can only hear them.
That's violet08
Well it says sportster on it, so whatever it is, it must go really fast!
You'd be surprised...
A magic packet pulse perpetuator and upline / downline pyramid scheme facsimile facilitator aka MPPPUDPSFF
A vintage Covid test
US Robotics 55,000 baud modem. Is that wrong enough?
The best wrong answer. It was close and then totally missed.
Fun fact - 53333 is an actual perfect, noise-free connection speed. And I've had it once, back in the day (on a then-new company called Sprint's fiber optic phone line). It was glorious.
It's a sound effect generator. It only has a few different varieties of SCREEEEREEEECH and some weird telephone tones, though.
Venetian Snares
Portable Chat GPT
Can only be understood by other portable GPTs though
So many things wrong with that though:
Not necessarily! This particular phone had a feature that let you set shortcut numbers. It was an advanced form of the "long press a single number to dial a particular contact" feature that came before it. So you could go into your contacts and—via a series of absurdly complicated menus for such a simple device—you could set "7752" as the shortcut number to dial say, your bank of fax machines that somehow deliver the equivalent of 100Base-T Ethernet speeds.
"Tell me how old you are without telling me how old you are" 😢
Excellent catch!
Don't feel bad. I was able to distinguish by ear between a T.38 fax handshake and a V.34+ modem handshake which definitely reveals my oldness 😆
Share and Enjoy™
A pager
A deskside air conditioner
It's an external MIDI board. It has built in speakers, but also stereo out RCA ports in the back so you could hook it to an amp.
TechMoan covered it a couple of years ago:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rObG3GddYGk
It is a theremin!
1990's pussy magnet
Robotics's snooping device base.
dildo. I'm brave you cowards.
Remote control for the US Robotic Soccer Sports Team.
(I used to have shelves of those wired into Portmasters when starting my ISP. After replacing the analog modems with pri digital modems we took the shelving outside and gave it the Office Space treatment.)
It's a YakBak
Digital harmonica. They were huge in the 80s.
It makes fart noises for radio hosts.
Pregnancy test
It's a device from the 90s that played specialize erotica tapes that had an extra channel which synchronized to an electric pocket pussy (not pictured) over 3.5mm cable.
It's cake
Old TV Remote
Robot mobile heater
Automatic birth control pill dispenser.
a weighing scale
(some gen z actually told me this after seeing the pic.. lolz)
Speaker Phone
a controller for an automated robotic arm for lab grade chemicals.
Says right on it, They Robotics
Its clearly the never released prototype Atari console
That is a reverse-cyclonic modulation moderator designed to run your washing machine backwards so that cycle time is reduced.
The song of my people.
angry child simulator - 1999
An old Bluetooth module.
The lights tells you if it is connected, at what mode, and if there is data going through it.
That's a DEC-talk speech synthesizer right?
Famously used in the song Jesus Freak
It's a midi keyboard for beginners
A horribly designed sex toy.
It’s an Atari before they paint it and put the cartridge slot in.
This is what a young Atari looks like naturally. Humanity artificially adds the cartridge slot.
modulator-demodulator
One of the things that got me into ham radio was hearing "old school modem noises" while playing around with an RTL-SDR dongle. Turns out it was APRS.
The Noise Thing
That's the internet
Early 80s robo vacuum.
Seven letter typewriter with remote light switch. Way ahead of its time in some ways. Far behind in others.
Single-use barbecue grill
They got way better when they figured out how to make them out of metal
Fast
Early day R.O.B.
Asked my partner to look at this without any knowledge of what it is.
They say it's a voice box panel for a robot.
They specifically asked for wrong answers!
It's definitely a wrong answer.
Is it the smallest Hardly Ableson?
The one that only goes 900 baud?
Commodore 64
The unreleased last 8 bit console. Joysticks not included.
Room dehumidifier. The indicators at the bottom light up to tell you how humid the room is.
The last good product released by Research In Motion
A machine that emits a continuous humming sound because it was poorly and cheaply engineered and made in China. Mike Lazaridis could explain it better and fix it.
It dispenses robotic ticks to confuse and annoy your enemies
Answering machine
A white noise machine to fall asleep to.
Early iteration of whack-a-mole toy
Answering Machine for robots.
Birth control dispenser
The original synthesizer used to create Funky Town
It's a rare Transformer you could only get by sending in 12 UPC codes from 2600 Magazine. The alt form represents an answering machine, and the robot form is just a telephone pole with arms and legs, a nod to Soundwave's other alt form: a street light.
prototype controller for a cam girl fuck machine
Pregnancy test from 1950's
World’s worst sleep sound machine.
intercom
90s contraceptive.