We used to call it whole booze. Because for some foolish reason, the one in our colege town used to put giant displays of wine (like a full wall of cases of the cheap stuff) in the automatic door vestibule.
So it was pretty common to see a car zoom up, and a couple kids jump out, grab a couple cases and then peel out driving off.
Still refer to stop and shop as stop and pee sometimes. Its a callback to an old joke from when I was little. The joke was that the 2 grocery stores in town, stop & shop, and A&P were going to merge.
If Wikipedia is to be believed, the Backstreet Girls are a Norwegian rock band formed in 1984. Which means they predate the Backstreet Boys by a long time.
But I have to take Wikipedia at its word, since most sources are in Norwegian.
"Crap made by slaves" for most goods sold here in the US. It's not always true, but total disregard almost every company with cases of proven forced labor of innocent people including women and children it's easier for me to write it all off as fucked up to buy. It's also all made to breakdown into known toxic waste soon enough to force you to buy more soon.
"Sugar water" for sweet tea soda and filtered juices.
"Advertised burger" for anything that I know sucks but for no good reason I really crave some gut wrenching to fastfood.
"Internet of Stings" is a good stallmanism.
"Unmanned ground drone" for a waymo or anything it. The cameras just creep me out.
"Children electrocutioners" for ChicFila
"Relic looters" for hobby lobby
"The company that stole 300 bucks from me" for local crooked car dealer ship that stole 300 bucks from me.
I hate ads because they make these horrible places seem normal, so I try my best at anti advertising.
None. It doesn't do anything. Don't like nestle? I don't buy their products. Maybe spread the word among family and friends. Same for coca cola. Same for tesla. Same for a bunch of others. Finding names for them seems a bit childish.
Wow you're so mature, I hope we can all be as grown up as you some day. Thanks for pointing out how above it all you are, it makes you seem really cool and fun. Hopefully some day the rest of us can live such rigid and whimsy-less lives, too.
Tesla --> Swasticars
I like this one. The memes coming out of his Nazi salute were pretty good.
X = xitter, said “shitter”
I say Twitter because Elon deadnames his children so I will deadname his platform.
Someone is trying to take over the twitter name to start a new platform: https://www.twitter.new/
I want to see Elon lose the Twitter name and be stuck with X. It's going to be so much fun watching that happen.
Oh, I use "Twatter".
It has been the toiletbowl of the world for years. Never was a "townsquare".
Or Twitter users: Twits.
Citrix -> Shitrix
Yes, I've had the displeasure. Good one.
"Esos hijos de puta" /s
Almost all of them are in spanish, since it's my first language...
This will be open to edit to add more.
Pepsi -> Pepno
Okay, that one got me.
I love getting insight into how people mess with language in other languages.
Muy Buenos todos pero perdón por ser "ese" usuario. Bill Gates es técnicamente Facturo Cercas
Sí, es el único con el tengo problemas. Otro nombre que le tengo es "Cuenta (como la de un restaurante, "bill") Puertas"
Some of these are legit funny and I barely speak the language. Thanks for sharing!
Boogersoft lool
EA has been either Electronic Farts or Evil Assholes since middle school, for me.
there is truly no higher art than replacing "art" or "heart" with "fart"
You mean there is truly no higher fart?
you are a true fartist
I truly suffer for my fart.
...especially after eating too much dairy.
The classic Ford -> Fix Or Repair Daily
My favorite is
Found
On
Road
Dead
Fucked
Over
Rebuilt
Dodge
microshaft
That got a good chuckle out of me. Like it !
It's a classic, no doubt.
Whole foods -> Whole paycheck
We used to call it whole booze. Because for some foolish reason, the one in our colege town used to put giant displays of wine (like a full wall of cases of the cheap stuff) in the automatic door vestibule.
So it was pretty common to see a car zoom up, and a couple kids jump out, grab a couple cases and then peel out driving off.
Bookface. It's not even that clever it just stuck with me for some random ass reason.
Fascists
Which company or product are you referring to?
that would be a long list
Kemically Fried Children
Dead Lobster
Pizza Slut
Windoze
Pizza Slut actually sounds like a friendly nickname.
Could be name of a dang good pizza place actually.
I'd eat that triangle. :P
Windows, with it's numerable AI and cloud integrations, has morphed itself into a "Sloperating System" and I refuse to call it anything else.
I found some for Apple. They aren't all "pejorative" but still
My fave is 'crapple'
Simple, yet understood by everybody. Perfect.
Still refer to stop and shop as stop and pee sometimes. Its a callback to an old joke from when I was little. The joke was that the 2 grocery stores in town, stop & shop, and A&P were going to merge.
For years my grub entry read
rWindows, it doesn't make sense in English, but "Ruim" is portuguese for bad, so it sounds similar to badows.Ruindows
Lol a trucking company I worked for in high school was called "Cheezik Transport" or something like that but all the workers called it "Cheese Dick"
Superstore = Stupidstore
Microsoft = Microcrap
Google = Goofle
Kraft Dinner = Crap Dinner
Windows OS = Windoze
X = Twitter
Canadian Tire = Crappy Tire
Really a fan of the word "crap", I see.
Crap is awesome
Goofle. Takes the evil out of the name, but still makes fun of it, so I'm for it.
Not companies, but "N*STINK, Backstreet Girls, and 98 Disease" lives rent free in my brain.
Please tell me that the Backstreet Girls exist now as a badass parody/cover band.
If Wikipedia is to be believed, the Backstreet Girls are a Norwegian rock band formed in 1984. Which means they predate the Backstreet Boys by a long time.
But I have to take Wikipedia at its word, since most sources are in Norwegian.
In Québec, so in Frenglish: Wal-Mart --> All-Marde (All-Shit)
I recently learned about Québecois cursing using every item in a church. They must have some hilarious-sounding mock names for companies there.
Idk about pejorative but I call TikTok reels "tiktokies". Kinda makes them sound a little silly which is what I'm usually going for, lol.
Home Despot
Cici's Pizza -> Feces Pizza
Microsoft -> Mrkvošrot (slovakian for "carrot scrap")
Taco Bell -> Toxic Hell
Jack in the Box -> Jack in the Sock
facefuck.
Windaube
(pretty common one)
M$. ËÃ, Nexlé, Jarf Buzzos, Fux, Nixxon, the Blcops subseries in COD of Doody, &c ad ∞ with varying consistency.
If anyone has a good one for ESRI, lmk.
Giant Tiger= Giant Welfare
The next two are my brother's, I don't eat there but I find them hilarious :
KFC = Yucky Tucky
McD = Rotten Ronnie's
Cannondale -> Crack'n'fail
"Crap made by slaves" for most goods sold here in the US. It's not always true, but total disregard almost every company with cases of proven forced labor of innocent people including women and children it's easier for me to write it all off as fucked up to buy. It's also all made to breakdown into known toxic waste soon enough to force you to buy more soon.
"Sugar water" for sweet tea soda and filtered juices.
"Advertised burger" for anything that I know sucks but for no good reason I really crave some gut wrenching to fastfood.
"Internet of Stings" is a good stallmanism.
"Unmanned ground drone" for a waymo or anything it. The cameras just creep me out.
"Children electrocutioners" for ChicFila
"Relic looters" for hobby lobby
"The company that stole 300 bucks from me" for local crooked car dealer ship that stole 300 bucks from me.
I hate ads because they make these horrible places seem normal, so I try my best at anti advertising.
Burger King -> Booger Fling
Windoof
? doof?
doof = stupid in German
That's great. I'll try and remember that.
Where'd you think the name Doofenshmirtz came from?
The Food Hole
What does this refer to?
Whole foods?
Ah gotcha. Around here, we call it "Whole Paycheck"
None. It doesn't do anything. Don't like nestle? I don't buy their products. Maybe spread the word among family and friends. Same for coca cola. Same for tesla. Same for a bunch of others. Finding names for them seems a bit childish.
Wow you're so mature, I hope we can all be as grown up as you some day. Thanks for pointing out how above it all you are, it makes you seem really cool and fun. Hopefully some day the rest of us can live such rigid and whimsy-less lives, too.
Kill'em with sarcasm. LOL.
Don't worry, you will!
None. And if you do I'm having trouble taking you seriously no matter how reasonable what you're saying actually is.
Plenty of things in the world deserve to be ridiculed and slandered.
I bet you're a real doozy at parties.
The only party he needs is the Boardroom, amirite
Or the boringroom but that's probably any room he enters.
Easiest block of my life.