I hate it when people use pictures showing the condiments only on top of a hot dog.
Who does this? The condiments would be gone half way through this way. You gotta get them down the sides.
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Who does this? The condiments would be gone half way through this way. You gotta get them down the sides.
Do you eat your hot dogs from the top down like a lunatic?
No, I eat them
tootop down like a normal person. How do you eat them?I eat them three down.
Isn't hands free the standard?
Giggity.
Sorry, corrected.
I said what I said.
My four yr old eats hotdogs like this except he starts on a bread side in the middle
Good man.
I stand mine vertically and shave from them like a doner kebab.
Edit: I meant shawarma. Pretend I said shawarma. Just forget it. I'm not racist!
You don't eat your doner kebab right off the stick?
Cause those dogs were bred for show.
this dude eating hotdogs like corn on the cob?
Op used ragebait. It was highly effective.
Absolutely cursed image. I'm dying.
What is wrong with you?
Can't say for sure, I don't have an official diagnosis so far.
Sgt chowdown doesn't appreciate this post.
Dishonorable discharge for Sgt Chowchow
No no no, wrong guy, Sgt ChowChow is entrusted with US Nuclear facility codes under admiral Hugh Mann. Now those are names you can trust.
I don't trust the admiral. I think he's gunning for my job.
I like how he's delicately cradling the
ballsbunYeah hi I make hotdogs as a job, instructions say all sauces on top. You want it changed, go fight corporate.
Fine, fine, I'll fight them. We using gloves or bare knuckles?
Sock 'Em Boppers!
If it's corporate, use brass knuckles!
I know, its so hard not to rub the weiners together before I sit down at the table 2 feet from my kitchen. The insatiable need to rub two sloppy condimented weiners against each other in such a way that the condiments on top are completely removed is just overwhelming. I can barely sit at the table before I give in to rubbing to sloppy condimented weiners together in such a way that all the condiments on the top come off.
You surely won't regret rubbing sloppy condiment weiners together.
I use mustard on the bun first, like glue for the weiner. (2nd grade level giggle) Then i pile on the onions, relish, or whatever on top
I slather the crease in relish, then tuck diced tomatoes/onion/lettuce (eg) into the relish, then dog, then presentation mustard.
relish from the grocery store has gotten so cheaply made you have to strain it first. even, and especially, the mass market 'name brands'. i did run across one super off-brand, imported from turkey or india or something, that was great, though.. and like half the store brand price.
so unless i have that or strain the 'regular' stuff first, or just cut-up some pickles instead (what i've been doing more of lately), the relish goes on top. everything else goes on first.
The Heinz relish aint so bad..... i use it and its ok. I miss the Coney Island deli we used to have here 20 years ago.... its become a laundry now.
Onions and mustard? You must be an antifa terrorist!
So the first half is all the good stuff, and the second half is just mustard?
Wait. Are you eating hot dogs parallel to the dog or perpendicular?
I'm not sure what your frame of reference is, but I eat them top down like everyone else. Do you... not?
The appeal of the hotdog is the convenient mouth-sized cross section.
What? Whose mouth is that big?
Ice Bear apparently
Fair point.
Polar Bear has the right idea.
Reminds me of being a kid and making a wotsit (you might need to be from the UK to know what those crisps are) sandwich with cheese spread... and the cheese spread was there to stop the wotsits falling out.
Only small children and the Dutch use anything besides mustard on a hot dog you heathen.
Puritanical nonsense, and categorically untrue. The Chicago dog, Sonoran dog and chili dog are all firmly cemented in their respective regions, and those are just the first three I could think of.
There's only one condiment that's not allowed near my wien, and that's ketchup. There exists a whole universe of acceptable hot dog condiments otherwise. I'll prepare an extra "fully loaded" hot dog in your name tonight, and you better believe I'm going to savage that wiener, and all its saucy, crunchy and tangy accoutrements, with fervent gusto.
Are you a small child or Dutch?
No.
[citation needed]
no, that's mayonaise on fries
OP is the type of guy who takes a shit and stands up to wipe his ass.
Sir this is not a Wendy's
How dare they want to do a good job wiping
OP thinks his farts don't smell if he can't smell them.
We are the 25%
Sometimes my back hurts to twist. So it's either that with the football hike, or shower. And work doesn't have a shower.
I actually do this now because wiping my ass on the toilet gave me a herniated disc. The standing up is way more forgiving to the spine.
You put mustard on top and then spin the hotdog do the mustard is applied 360° and doesnt get all over you while you eat it.
This sounds promising, but how do you spin the dog when it is hot? Do you have some sort of dog rotation apparatus?
Use a napkin or suffer a minor finger burn. Worth it for the outcome.
Chef callouses ftw
I knew all my masturbation would lead to greatness someday!
I think you just changed my hot dog game. I need to try rotating my weiner.
You could even call it windmilling
This is The Way
Yep that's what I do pretty much. Line of ketchup down the left, mustard down the right, then spinnnnn
Is that a salad?
Looks like it will feed a horde of pigeons after my desperate attempt to eat this hotdog without dropping anything on the ground.
This is correct.
Mmm, no. Thank you.
Wut
If you only put condiments on the top, they're gone after the first few bites and then it's just plain dog for the rest. Why do people take pictures like this when you have to put them on the bun?
How are you eating your hot dogs that applying condiments like the picture would not last every bite? Top down?
Look, man. Just suck up and accept that it's gonna look like you're giving fellatio for a minute.
Guys is it gay to eat hot dogs?
Not with that attitude.
Is it a boy hotdog or a girl hotdog?
Don't worry--the way I do it, it still looks like felatio.
I need an illustration or something
You monster!
Thanks, I hate it.
You just jam the whole column in your mouth and bite. Do you eat sandwiches top down too? Complain that you had to eat through bread and lettuce to get to the meat?
Wait... do you put bread on the outside... both sides?
Yes but you have to put the bread on top and bottom not just on the sides like some people do because then everything falls out
Do you eat sandwiches vertically? And if so, do you have some sort of vertical mouth? And if so, are you Leela's dad?
You're eating hot dogs starting with all the condiments and then working your way down
And you have an excessively tall mouth, apparently
What do you mean gone halfway through? Are you eating your hot dogs lime a sandwich? You gotta throat that bad boy.
Uh yeah, I do throat it. Top down, like a normal person.
What I dislike about hot dogs is the fact that the sausage is bigger than the buns, like you'd never see a burger where the partty is spilling out of the bun too much, why are hot dog sausages not similar in size to hot dog buns, I want smaller sausage or bigger bun so that I can fit more toppings and condiments on it without any of it spilling out from the sides with every bite, a plain sausage and bun is boring for me.
The sausage being too big is a more common complaint than people realize. Everyone assumes bigger is always better, but past a certain size it can be uncomfortable or even painful.
You can work your way up to bigger sausages, though. Take your time, try to stay relaxed, and don't forget to use a condiment!
Top comment
Sometimes I can't even fit my mouth around it
Some people think it's normal to experience pain and even bleeding when eating a sausage for the first time, but with gentle stretching you can usually mitigate any discomfort. A few minutes a day for a few weeks is often enough. Be sure to have open lines of communication and a strong trust relationship with your chef.
A friend keeps reminding me about the time I told him I got 2 footlongs in me one time
Lmao what? I’ve never heard of of anything asking for a more imbalanced meat to bun ratio.
What other toppings are you trying to add? If a Chicago dog can have all its toppings with a polish sausage there’s no reason a normal hot dog couldn’t hold more of what you need.
When I make a hot dog, I cut the bun open, but also hollow it out a little... this gives ample room for extras and allows you to actually 'close' the bun and avoid spillage.
My grocery store has started carrying “hot dog pitas”! You can fit so many toppings!
(Or really just a lot of onions and chili)
I disagree, I feel like the bread to dog ratio is always slightly too high, and I end up tearing some roll off
I just position mine so the end is how I want it, and sometimes that means the first bite is mostly bread.
you're supposed to eat a hotdog end to end, you weirdo
I mean, yeah, you eat both ends. From the top down, though.
I always use a syringe to get the condiments into the doggo
Submerge weiner in condiments and bake to have it fully encased.
Oooh, since they are all just disassociated globs of meat glued together in plant casing, maybe the move is to mix flavors into the meat before it's assembled.
I kid of course, that's dangerously close to spices and you can't put spices on hot dog meat.
Spin-coated fast food condiments coming soon
How many dogs do you eat a year would you say?
Hot or regular?
The ones that can disappear from sight if left alone at a picnic.
You know the ones you don't want to step on barefoot.
I step on both barefoot all the time.
I'm confused. If I put mustard on a hotdog it looks exactly like that.
(Aside from that bland yellow, I use real mustard)
So you like eating all the mustard right away, and then having the second half be plain?
How the fuck you eating your hotdog?
The fuck?
what the fuck
I have a new pet peev
lmao
Apparently in parallel instead of series.
Ohh you eat it like a sub? 😅
I only do that if I'm lazy and use sandwich bread for a roll.
Im sorry, people eat subs differently than hot dogs? Fucking excuse me?
No, I eat a sub from the side. Otherwise you'd just be eating bread, then fillings, then bread separately.
That's the precise reason that you eat a hotndog the same way.
WHY DONT YOU POST AN ALTERNATIVE??? HUH??
Was that too aggressive?
I EAT THEM LIKE THIS
Jail, just, somebody....you have to pay for this!
Believe it or not, straight to jail.
Yessss thank you
HAPPY TO HELP
Shitpost aside, my dad did honey mustard under the dog while topping it with chili and cheese. It's the only way to do that combo right.
Never used honey mustard, but classic yellow mustard in a chili cheese dog is always great.
Try that but with proper mustard https://tracklementsglobal.com/us/product/strong-english-mustard/
Recent French's convert. I love me some stone ground!
Try anything from Edmond Fallot
This tarragon mustard is a favorite of mine
What do you mean "gone half way through"?
It's simply there, and then it isn't. There is no intermediary state.
You should try Schrodinger's mustard. You haven't had a proper hotdog until you top it with a superposition.
I don't have time to observe the hotdog before it's gone, anyways, so I always at least have mustard on my hotdog, even if I also don't have mustard on my hotdog.
owenfromcanada eats hot dogs the short way.
Fitting the entire width in your mouth at once must be a challenge, but I'll accept it.
When you eat as fast as I do, everything is eaten the short way
Hear me out... Yellow exterior, brown filling, sauces. That's a soft-shell beef taco.
Des that mean corndogs are street tacos?
Everyone knows corndogs are taquitos
Damn. You right.
Who here likes hot weiners?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hot_wiener
I actually prefer putting the stuff on the bun under the hotdog.
People with big mouths (like me, I have a big mouth) eat hotdogs in bites that span left to right, and top to bottom along (approximately) a plane that lies perpendicular to the axis along which the hotdog was extruded. With this approach, the condiments merely have to run the length of the hotdog (or just the bun if you dislike messy eating) in order for them to participate in every bite.
Only small mouth dweebs that can't fit a wide, juicy frank into their mouth when they're gobbling down a... Nevermind, I think I got sidetracked.
No dawg, you gotta flip it turn-ways.
Replace that boring mustard with spicy brown and that's exactly how I do a dog.
Under? So the first half is just plain dog?
Under. So the mustard is less likely to glop onto your shirt
Are you eating your dogs sideways? Every bite has mustard on it.
I'm eating them top down like everyone else. So if you don't get condiments along the side of the dog, they're gone after the first few bites.
You're supposed to eat them from the bottom up. That's how monkeys do it in the wild, so obviously it's how we evolved to eat hotdogs.
Sometimes aesthetics trump evolution
You put it on top so that the flavor of the condiments doesn't overpower each bite.
If you put it on top, condiments is all you'd taste for the first few bites, then it would just be a plain dog the rest of the way. Why would anyone do that?
How are you getting plain dog after first few bites? I’m picturing you eating a hot dog like corn on the cob
Top down, like everyone else. How do you eat them?
You deep throat that thing like God intended.
Then unless you're looking for lube, between the bun and dog is superior. Other than sauerkraut, I put so much on that it's would just turn into an open face sandwich, which tbf it still kinda is.
Those aren't mutually exclusive
They only do zhe lazy way here (press hole in bun, add sauce, add sausage) so you have non-absorbent bread and sauce only in the bottom, making a mess once you're half through.
That sounds equally inefficient. I'm sorry that you have to put up with such uncultured swine.
Thanks a bunch OP. Now I have a new peeve.
Who tf out here is putting bread around their hotdogs??
What do you do? Slide them straight down your gullet and eat the bread separate like Kobayashi?
Excuse me, FridaySteve, but I sit on them like a proper gentleman.
I admire the direct approach.
Seems like it would save everyone some time
Ok, so you got a glizzy between your cheeks and then what. Wait for it to hatch?
No, I put Wendy's training video "Hot Drinks" on repeat, laydown some towels, and wake up grandpa. Seriously, how do you even barbeque?
I don't. I barbequeue.
Good God, my apologies!
That's what I thought.
ITT: I cannot believe the debate over hot dog size, bun size, and condiment application, lol.
And what's the deal with hot dogs coming in packs of 6, and buns in 8? Atleast if it was the other way around, we could shove'em up our asses and call it a day. Laugh track, followed by stupid Seinfeld jingle
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BRATWURST
Mustard belongs in the trash. Hotdogs belong with jesus.
Are you suggesting Jesus belongs in the trash?
Are you trying to put Jesus in my mouth?
Open your
heartmouth and let Jesus come inside you. 😌