Speculation Rule
Based on a true story.
[Alt-text]A brain asks a woman in bed, "Hey you goin' to sleep?". The woman responds, "Yes, now shut up". The brain says, "The internet is speculating that Trump died." The woman has a dead eye stare and is not going to sleep in a timely fashion.
92 replies
I feel like I'll know when he's dead.....like the air will somehow be easier to breathe.
Less cheeto dust in the wind...
The air will be filled with cheering and celebration
And so many fucking crabs.
For the 20 minutes it takes to swear Vance in. While JD might have the charisma of bloated roadkill, he's competent, unlike Trump who was guided solely by his narcissism and need for validation.
No, he really isn't. But he's much easier to puppet than Trump by evil people who ARE competent.
fer sure. the day biden's election was confirmed i took some stuff to the recycling and then went to the grocery store and literally everyone was was dancing everywhere, myself included. just, we felt freedom again and were spontaneously celebrating.
Vance said 'I'm ready to be president, just in case' and some people were like 'oh shit, it's happening!'.
People were starting to talk about Trumps politics again instead of the Epstein files so they planted a new distraction.
It's so obvious and yet we keep falling for it.
I don't think they would deliberately use a distraction that paints Trump as being weak.
Bet
Release the Epstein Files, Pedo Trump
Yeah but do we really think Vance has the, idk what you'd call it, moron-charm? Charm that attracts only morons? Whatever it is that Trump offers?
He doesn't. Vance has all the personality and presence of cold oatmeal.
I wouldn't be surprised is Trump lashes out at Vance for saying that. Trump's a narcissist with dementia he'll see that comment as an attack.
Hey Americans, this is a feature of living under authoritarianism: to have a widespread conspiracy theory that the incumbent was replaced by the double. Get used to it.
What about "Trump is a mushroom"? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lenin_was_a_mushroom
Trump is already a mushroom, just ask Stormy Daniels
"Trump is a mushroom" will occur in 20 years when the population finds it unable to exist in a reality without Trump.
Wait, Paul isn't dead?
Yeah the cultists that voted him in who are starting to realize what is really unfolding in our country can't believe it. "It can't really be him, he loves us, he cares for us! It must be a fake!"
None of those people have enough self reflection or care for others to give a shit what is unfolding. As long as "the right people" are being hurt they are happy.
The problem is that many of them are getting caught up in the shit economy made worse by tariffs, while the right people aren't getting hurt enough.
I like the saying "Republicans would eat a shit sandwich as long a democrat has to smell their breath." I feel like that's an accurate description.
i've seen so many people on the "american left" (yes i know) celebrating when some maga's or a maga's loved one's face gets eaten because the leopards are hurting "the right people"... like, the point is not to be hurting anyone
In this case if 'Trump' starts talking in coherent sentences, we'll know he's been replaced.
Trump does something not evil
"Definitely replaced."
How's that relevant
If he hasn't, can we start a conspiracy theory that he's been replaced?
What do you mean "theory," he definitely has been
;)
Oh it's totally a weekend at Bernie's situation.
Nothing could replace that iconic healthy orange paintjob.
And the proof is that his ear isn't scarred from the bullet hitting the real Trump.
I wanna get it but I don't
Edit: Oh I get it. That's blood.
Long tie, maybe?
Definitely Trump's classic red tie.
And I am saving this for when the child molester is dead.
i have news
Nu
God damn it.
Don't give me hope.
Great! 11½ years of Vance 😥
If following the law, which let's face it, they won't, then it would only be 7½ years of Vance. According to the 22nd Amendment if anyone takes over for the President before the two year mark, then they are only allowed to run for one extra term. If they take over after the two year mark then they may run for two more terms, for a maximum of ten years.
So if he did die, they might weekend at Bernie's him until 2027
Well he could do some vote in his second term to overrule the amendment and allow him to run again which мы конечно же пока еще не видели похожее
At that point it likely would not be just 11½ years.
There is about a 0 percent chance Vance wins an election without Trump's coat tails to ride.
Vance will not be able to hold the coalition together.
Cute that you think you'll get elections.
Vance isn't capable of holding this coalition together.
It's obviously when you hear the timbre in his voice: Vance is a fraud and Vance knows he's a fraud. When. he's trying to be a bully, he knows he's hollow insid; he, like so many other hollow suits, has no real beliefs. It's why he's so useful to venture capital.
When Trump speaks, it's with an absolute conviction in whatever spew is coming from his lips. It doesn't matter what it is. Whatever Trump says, to Trump, he believes to be true.
Trump is a true bully, and deeply insecure: It's why he doesn't suffer strong people in his presence. Because of this there is no one to fill the void he'll create.
Doesn't matter. There will be enough internal challenges that Vance won't hold the coalition together.
Don't get my hopes up
Nah we'll know when he does. More likely he's ill, possibly on the way out.
That seems to be the case. He looks alive at golf today:
https://www.forbes.com/sites/tylerroush/2025/08/30/is-trump-dead-rumors-debunked-as-trump-seen-leaving-for-golf/
Looks like a face mask
I think it's a combination of the lighting and the makeup that are making him look weird in those shots. But it is Trump we're talking about, he always looks weird.
Perhaps it's a double like what Putin does.
https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/31080022
supreme leaders cannot die. they simply pass the torch to the next chosen
He hasn't made any public appearance in a few days and cancelled some this weekend iirc
It's probably nothing but damn wouldn't it be funny
funnyfucking gloriousHow's his social media presence? He's usually pretty prolific, no?
He was seen today unfortunately so
Dangit
The rumor mill is running late into the night on BlueSky and apparently Twitter. I haven't seen anything compelling. But I'm still awake so...
This is so real. I was literally finally laying down when my brother got me with this.
i thought the fourth panel would be her finally getting a good night's sleep.
Unfortunately, no.
That means that JD Vance would be president and that is arguably worse.
i would argue it's not because the nazis would not unify under goebbels like they did with hitler
I mean the thing with Goebbels was he was...well...more insane than Hitler. Although Hitler was fucking insane, he also Eschewed some of the more wild shit that the Nazis used to underpin their ideology (like the idea that the Aryans came to Earth from an Ice ball).
Goebbels was a little more fanatical, like he named his kids names beginning with H (because Hitler) and didn't eschew some of the crazier shit. He also didn't have as much of a head on his shoulders despite being an Orator.
Vance on the otherhand has a head on his shoulders (unlike Trump) and also has some even more concerning stances on things (unlike Trump). Like Trump will call for people to be snatched off the streets and sent to random locations for making fun of him, he, and many of his followers, see him as an Emperor. Vance however, is a Theocrat, who given the powers of the presidency will end Secularism in the USA along with Democracy.
Please let me wake up to a brighter world. For once, pls
he never was alive to begin with
He was alive up until like 1982 or '86 whenever it was when he sold his soul to the devil.
I'd say nearly 40 years of post-sellout life is a pretty good trade in exchange for eternal torment, right?
He's always been a soul-less asshole
What?
https://trends.google.com/trends/explore?date=now+1-d&geo=US&q=trump+died&hl=en
"Trump dead" has a cleaner graph because it's a 10x more common way people phrase it.
I'm from the 20th century. We spoke differently back then.
No, you didn't.
It's just that people are looking for headlines.
That's right, Dead Serious about invading Poland
I always find it remarkable how Nazi anti-Bolshevism was such a prominent method of legitimization in the pivot towards to Cold War.
Well since I'm from the late 20th century I only read the funnies and never bought a newspaper as an adult.
Just popped over to Bsky to look. Don't tease me, universe...
I pray every day to gods I don't believe in.
Second time that’s happened. Same with Melania.
ok phew, then we need to only kill the couchfucker
Relevant CGP Grey (someday)
🫰