Basically I want to know if this unrelenting hunger means I'm going to have to make a trip to Finland on free bucket day. According to a polish friend, bread consumption is directly proportional to boob size. While I don't think that's necessarily true, I'm curious because I don't seem to be gaining weight at all

Let's take a minute to appreciate that we have an overzealous nanny state making our medical decisions for us. Hipp hipp hurra! 🎉 🇧🇻🇧🇻🇧🇻 🎉

It isn't mother's day where I live or where I'm from, but my partner is American. She knows I'm trans but still sees herself as the mother and deserving of all the mothers day things like breakfast in bed and freedom from domestic chores for the day etc (At least that's what I did for my mother growing up).

Problem is that she suffers from chronic pain and I make her breakfast in bed every day and do all the cooking, cleaning, etc every day. I change all the nappies, apply all the plasters to cuts, take the kids to every doctor/dentist appointment, do all the shopping, go to all the PTA meetings, as well as trying to make her as comfortable as possible throughout the day.

That isn't even the main issue though. The children still see me as "dad". Not their fault, I haven't said anything to them about being trans (I have my reasons). But, they also see me as a source of infinite work and refuse to do anything at all about picking up after themselves. So my workload doesn't change for anything. I'm constantly cleaning and tidying, making food, etc.

When I ask them to put the stuff they used for making mother's day cards for their "actual mother" (who, to reiterate, doesn't really do any actual mothering), they just make the place messier and refuse to do anything to help. I managed to make the 6 year old put her pens away but it took 20 minutes of continuous nagging for her to start. And then she half-arsed it and left a bunch of the pens lying around the living room floor.

I don't need anything like cards or cake or anything like that, but it would be nice if people weren't trying to make my task impossible. I'm one person and nobody acknowledges my contribution.

It feels really shitty.

I had no idea how often I bump into things with my nips. Apparently my proprioception is lacking in the chest area.

That is all.

I'm all over my partner like a cat in fucking heat! What the fuck?

If you say Arch I swear to god I will slap you.

So I've started on subconscious subcutaneous estrogen injections and so far so good. I seem to be ok with it mentally. No mood swings so far and I actually have some hope for the future. And I've been thinking more clearly, which is a double edged blade.

I have come to realise that I have no good friends who live locally, and the nearest gender queer friend is a 2 hour flight away and they're non binary (not transfem). I really want to have at least one transfem friend in the town where I live, but I don't. I know there are other trans women here because I see them out and about. But you can't just go up to someone and say "hey I see you're trans! I've just started estrogen! Let's be friends!". There are no LGBTQ+ clubs here and even if there were, I don't have the time or money to go out.

Realistically I don't even have time to maintain friendships, but sometimes I feel overwhelmed by everything going on in my life and just want to speak to someone irl who understands. I'm not really depressed per se, but I also don't want to become depressed because I don't have anyone to talk to about my struggles.

So, I started estradiol enanthate about a week ago and while I realise I still have a tonne of testosterone in my body, the estrogen should be at a therapeutic level by now. I'm calm and haven't been angry for days. I've started being productive (well more productive at least). So from the very earliest indicators, it seems to be going well (obviously I'll know more in a few weeks). This, however raises a number of challenges.

Firstly how am I going to tackle the family stuff? I know my kids would be supportive (and my partner as much as she's able), but my parents are pretty transphobic. There's also my children's classmates and their families. About half the kids in her class throw around racist slurs like it's no big deal, so I'm certain they'd give her a hard time if I visibly transition. I don't mind lumberjackmoding for a while, but I'm eventually going to look like a woman with a beard.

Secondly, what to do about documentation. I know I can't change my gender on my passport (terf island), but as a foreigner I need to have it.

Third, there's the actual nuts and bolts of transition such as voice training. I get frequent throat infections that leave me unable to say anything for months at a time. Not to mention my family is used to my voice and seems to like it. But again if I'm going to hot-mom-mode in the future, I'm going to need a feminine voice.

Fourth, what about my name? I haven't put nearly as much thought into it as I perhaps should have. K know im not going to change it officially until my parents expire (they are not good people but they are old enough that starting conflict with them won't help), but at some point I'm probably going to want to. So how do I pick? It seems weird to choose my own name. It's not like I picked my 'on life support name'.

Also what to actually do with the facial hair? It's going to be largely necessary for groundskeeper-Willy-moding but I can't shave because my hair is too curly and it causes horrific razor burn. So it'll need to be IPL/ Lasered off but that would need to be sooner rather than later because I'm at that age where it's going to go grey and at that point light based removal won't work.

Suggestions?

The recommended dosages I'm seeing vary quite a lot. How dependent is dose on, for example. I was planning on a 8mg loading dose followed by weekly injections of 5 mg to start but my supplier recommends 7.5mg per week which seems high.

I'm on the larger side so I'd probably need a slightly higher dose, but does anyone know a website where I can get pharmacokinetic calculations and the like? It seems like weight and body fat percentage would have an effect on dose but I haven't seen information on that.

I don't mind taking a higher dose, but I'd like to make it last if possible.

She can move silently about the house at night and sneak up on anyone.

She's extremely agile and can climb things that her older siblings have difficulty with.

She's a complete klepto

She's completely fearless

And today she's turned her attention to lock picking.

There I am taking a dump when I hear a rummaging sound from the lock of the bathroom door. Moments later I look up at her grinning and brandishing the pair of plastic sunglasses she used to gain entry to the bathroom.

Should I encourage this progression to a life of crime? She clearly has a talent for it. Or is there a more legal application of these talents?

Not totally thrilled with the packaging though.

I need to get an app that can be left to record continuously for days at a time. Essentially turning an old android phone into a security camera. I don't really care if the video is stored locally or remotely.

My downstairs neighbour has started complaining about excessive noise coming from our apartment, including while everyone in the apartment is asleep. So I need to have something recording continuously where I can clip out the complaint and the hour leading up to it, to prove that whatever they're hearing isn't us. Ideally it would show the noise in dB and the time. They have no legal basis for throwing us out, but I'd like to provide irrefutable evidence that they are delusional.

Thanks in advance for your help.

Actual news, not satire.

I'm not about to hang around and wait for the government to decide whether or not I'm allowed to be happy. So I've ordered a vial of enanthate. Hopefully it gets past customs, but if the internet is to be believed it probably won't. Still, I might have my transmission fluid in a couple of weeks!

I'm from the UK and my partner is from the States. Every year she has the kids leave milk and cookies out for Santa, which I find odd because we left out sherry and a mince pie in my house. At the same time, we live in Scandinavia and I'm sure the Christmas gnome (julenissen) is unhappy about the lack of porridge.

I just want to wish everyone an acceptable wintervus and send hugs to those beeing deadnamed and misgendered by their families. I know this can be a difficult season for many of you, but freedom is just a few days away.

Hang in there!