Or just bring a shitting stool to work. Label it a shitting stool. Talk to your coworkers about your new shitting stool. Tell them about the comforts of your elevated knees and how easily your stool slides out from your briefly exposed anus. Recommend shitting stools to management. Secretly sell shitting stools under the guise of girl scout cookies. Keep the best shitting stools for yourself. Give the squeakers to management. Let them understand the shame of an office fully aware of the state of their rectum. They replace the toilets to save face. People continue using your shitting stools because they enjoy feces expediently sliding out of their rectums. You’ve won
You guys aren't going to the narrow stalls to spiderman style crab walk up the sides to carpet bomb whatever hapless public toilet happens to be victim that day?
You don't even have to wait that long. This would play hell on people with any of a myriad of conditions. They would always have to have a regular one to accommodate the disabled or face the pain of being sued for discrimination by a disabled person, and everyone would then use that normal toilet, making the whole thing a process of burning dollars to chase pennies.
Don't be an animal, just shit in the trash can in the bosses office, like a civilized person.
But seriously, this sounds like a good way to get rich. Once you "accidentally" slip off the toilet and crack your head open, then you can sue for the big bucks.
I was thinking more like minor head wound that would bleed profusely and provide some good images. But I can see that you are the type to commit 110%, so I am sorry for the confusion.
you gotta really question the mental wellness of someone who starts a company to produce a product that literally makes life worse for anyone that experiences it.
I mean, I don't take longer than a couple minutes to take a shit, but it does make it worse for those with health issues or trying to get a break with no other options
No, but I was admittedly in a very bad way the day I made that post, because some bad news I got, and I didnt realize until after the fact it was making me lash out in undeserved ways.
I say that only, and explicitly, as an explanation, and not as an excuse.
Go to take a shit after a few hours in a non-climate controlled warehouse so your sweaty butt cheeks just slide off the toilet and break your coccyx. Now you get worker's comp.
Despite their reputation as 'killer' whales, orcas are known to lend a helping fin by sharing their food with humans. A recent study recorded and analyzed 34 instances of prey-sharing by orcas (Orcinus orca) across two decades of observation.
Orcas, the largest members of the dolphin family, are widespread across all the oceans and engage in a variety of complex social behaviors. They have a rich culture and communicate using unique calls.
They also live in matrilineal societies in which older females model social behaviors for the younger members, influencing what they eat, do for fun, and who they mate with – as matriarchs may do in human societies. And, of course, orcas wear salmon hats and fashion kelp-based tools for their beauty routines.
Altruistic behaviors are common among orca communities. They commonly share food with their cetacean companions and family members as a "prosocial activity and a way [to] build relationships with each other," says lead author Jared Towers, ecologist at Bay Cetology in Canada.
The fact that they "share with humans may show their interest in relating to us as well."
The study spanned two decades and recorded dozens of instances in which wild orcas shared prey with humans. As criteria for inclusion, these interactions had to have been instigated by the whales, and not a result of humans approaching orcas. The interactions were either captured on video, in photos, or described to the researchers via interviews.
Of the 34 total recorded interactions, 21 involved people on boats, 11 involved people in the water, and 2 involved people on the shore. The orcas spanned both sexes and all age groups.
As another part of the inclusion criteria, the whales had to intentionally release the food in front of humans, from about one-orca-body-length away. Sometimes, the orcas played with the food items before releasing them.
About two-thirds of the time the orcas approached alone, but occasionally they approached in pairs and less often in groups. In half of the 34 interactions, the orcas offered an entire food item, such as a whole seal. In all but one of the cases the whales waited, for a median time of five seconds, to see what would happen after making their offering.
Ostensibly to the orcas' chagrin – but absolutely advised for ethics and cross-species safety – the humans ignored the offerings in 30 of the 34 recorded interactions. Still, some of the orcas made additional attempts to offer the food item. One can't blame an orca for trying.
Images from four instances when orcas offer food to humans
Video stills of orcas sharing food items with humans. (Steve Hathaway/Lucía Corral/Jared R. Towers/Brian Skerry)
It's possible that this interspecies prey-sharing is even more common than the study suggests, because this research only included examples based on strict criteria. Furthermore, these interactions may become increasingly common as human and orca activities begin to overlap more frequently.
Similar sharing behaviors have been previously observed in domesticated animals, like cats and dogs who sometimes split their food with their furless, bipedal friends. But this study is a rare groundbreaker that investigates sharing attempts from non-domesticated animals. As the researchers explain, "accounts of any wild animals attempting to provision humans are extremely rare."
Why are orcas so seemingly eager to share with humans? Perhaps to explore, play, and develop relationships with a curious brand of beings. Given the "advanced cognitive abilities and social, cooperative nature of this species," maybe orcas are attempting to forge cross-boundary relations. After all, stories of dolphins saving humans stretch back into antiquity.
Plus, orcas commonly hunt large prey, with diminishing returns when they end up with more food than they can consume, transport, or preserve.
And there's no clear risk of competition: orcas and humans are both apex predators but in "drastically different biomes." Accordingly, there are very few examples of wild terrestrial predators sharing surplus food with humans.
The researchers conclude that generalized altruism and reciprocity are cultural by-products of prosocial species. These behaviors are also social cornerstones associated with high levels of encephalization, or larger-than-expected brain size in relation to body size. In fact, orcas are second only to humans in this respect, say the study authors.
Therefore, these food-sharing interactions are a novel example that highlights an evolutionary and intellectual convergence, between the highest branches of the primate and cetacean trees of life.
This study was published in the Journal of Comparative Psychology.
I think this is an urban legend that never happened since I've never found any evidence of it happening, but definitely be careful and don't make a mess.
I have a medical condition that makes it difficult for me to defecate, so doing so often takes 20m or more.
I usually doo on my own time (because, like, ethic or whatever), but even so, this seems actively hostile to me and I wonder if there's a legal remedy.
The pants may pose a challenge and require some preplanning, but 15° is probably perfect to make sitting cross legged pretty comfortable. Bonus benefit, they can't identify you by your feet.
No no, Bobby, on the top, next to the mouse. Yeah that's where I put it, so that's where I want it back okay? Try and get it all off next time. And eat less dude! It helps reduce spatter.
When they install these toilet I think it's a sign they want you to get creative with it.
Leave the pot and home anfd find a place at work that inspires you.
Although there are a ton of regulations, surprisingly none seem to reference the height, size, etc. of a toilet (seat). That's surprising, if you consider the minimum spacing of the toilet to the wall, door,... is given (see page 10 - 15).
But there is this "catch-all rule"
(10) Durch Einrichtungsgegenstände oder bauliche Einrichtungen in Sanitärräumen
dürfen Sicherheit und Gesundheit der Beschäftigten (z. B. durch Schnitt- oder
Stoßkanten oder durch die Möglichkeit zur Ansammlung von Krankheitserregern) nicht
gefährdet werden. [Page 5]
This basically translates to "Furnishings and physical structure may not endanger safety and health of the employees". The examples given are referencing e.g. sharp edges or possible accumulations of pathogens, but in the end I think that intentionally inducing strains is not very ergonomic and could be considered a health hazard.
That makes sense. In my coutry there is a specific rule about not interfer or stop employees from using the toilet whenever or for how long they need. This would 100% be illegal
I wouldn't mind going to the bathroom and not finding all stalls occupied for the next 45 minutes because everyone and their mother is taking a shit whilst watching all three Lord of the rings movies on one go
Edit: seriously? This is being down voted? I'm all for fuck corporate and such, but seriously, I want to be able to go to a bathroom and actually find an unused stall. It sucks that everything is occupied with people watching TV there.
I was stating a factual health concern, dude. Get hemorrhoids or just stand in the toilet while surfing on Lemmy, I don't care. You're trying way too hard to pick a fight with me. I'm sure YOUR boss isn't having to deal with that, is he?
Bullshit that's "concern" trolling. This device is not designed to help anybody's health and you're speculating a reason why it could be helpful at all. That's a real bad look bro.
Of course, I'm an agent of The Brotherhood of Bosses. My job is to sabotage Lemmy posts and to trigger you since you are all that stands between us and total worker slavery.
Dude, you want to pick a fight, I can tell. Find something else. Go beat your meat or something.
You're not an agent. Totally for free, you're trying to be fair to the side of the anti-worker toilet because maybe some employees are taking too long to shit.
Gonna start selling 3d printed toilet wedges out my trunk that re-flatten the toilet seat.
A door stop, commonly found in abundance in most office spaces, sounds like a great solution already
Or just bring a shitting stool to work. Label it a shitting stool. Talk to your coworkers about your new shitting stool. Tell them about the comforts of your elevated knees and how easily your stool slides out from your briefly exposed anus. Recommend shitting stools to management. Secretly sell shitting stools under the guise of girl scout cookies. Keep the best shitting stools for yourself. Give the squeakers to management. Let them understand the shame of an office fully aware of the state of their rectum. They replace the toilets to save face. People continue using your shitting stools because they enjoy feces expediently sliding out of their rectums. You’ve won
Squatty Potty
Or just a tiny folding stool. They have more uses than one and take up less space
This was probably the last thing I posted on Facebook. Pure gold.
Stool stool.
Are you going to be giving away free stool samples?
You guys aren't going to the narrow stalls to spiderman style crab walk up the sides to carpet bomb whatever hapless public toilet happens to be victim that day?
Wedge door stop would probably work also
Waiting for the lawsuits from people developing nerve damage and/or thrombosis
You don't even have to wait that long. This would play hell on people with any of a myriad of conditions. They would always have to have a regular one to accommodate the disabled or face the pain of being sued for discrimination by a disabled person, and everyone would then use that normal toilet, making the whole thing a process of burning dollars to chase pennies.
Don't forget to make the neck rest at a 13° angle so they don't get to comfy in there.
This should be posted in latestagecapitalism and aboringdystopia
Just shit on the walls and the company will readjust again
Don't be an animal, just shit in the trash can in the bosses office, like a civilized person.
But seriously, this sounds like a good way to get rich. Once you "accidentally" slip off the toilet and crack your head open, then you can sue for the big bucks.
Damn, voluntarily taking on a TBI for a chance at a OSHA/Workman's Comp lawsuit?
Make sure not to sign me up, but don't let me get in your way.
Just "slip off" and complain of back pain. Soft tissue damage does not show up on xrays.
I was thinking more like minor head wound that would bleed profusely and provide some good images. But I can see that you are the type to commit 110%, so I am sorry for the confusion.
Reminds me of the detective from the wire that "accidentally" fell down the stairs so he can retire early.
Transparent stalls with video surveillance
"We're a family here"
Jerk off and give them a show!
The pigs would fire you then sell the video online.
Everything you create with company resources is owned by the company.
Molotov Cocktail
Time to start crapping on the floor....
That's a statement!
floor is now tilted by 13 degrees
you gotta really question the mental wellness of someone who starts a company to produce a product that literally makes life worse for anyone that experiences it.
I mean, I don't take longer than a couple minutes to take a shit, but it does make it worse for those with health issues or trying to get a break with no other options
GI issues would beg to differ… a good 10 min for bad flares to ensure I’m not back in a few minutes later.
This is not a fun break time.
Can you please re read my comment, particularly the second half of the sentence
I was making the concern more explicit and personal. Not to worry.
The opinion of someone whose never had bowel problems and can't even fathom other people not being like them.
Did you stop reading halfway through my one sentence...?
No, but I was admittedly in a very bad way the day I made that post, because some bad news I got, and I didnt realize until after the fact it was making me lash out in undeserved ways.
I say that only, and explicitly, as an explanation, and not as an excuse.
Sorry for being a twat.
Go to take a shit after a few hours in a non-climate controlled warehouse so your sweaty butt cheeks just slide off the toilet and break your coccyx. Now you get worker's comp.
Sit backwards on the toilet like AC Slater and your legs will feel better than usual
Reverse Cowgirl
That means you need to take your pants all the way off.
Which means you need to take your shoes off.
I'm not removing my shoes and pants to shit in a public work toilet. I'ma grab a cushion from the lobby sofa and use it to prop up my feet
I see a claas action law suit from arthritic workers
Joke’s on them! I work from home!
Despite their reputation as 'killer' whales, orcas are known to lend a helping fin by sharing their food with humans. A recent study recorded and analyzed 34 instances of prey-sharing by orcas (Orcinus orca) across two decades of observation.
Orcas, the largest members of the dolphin family, are widespread across all the oceans and engage in a variety of complex social behaviors. They have a rich culture and communicate using unique calls.
They also live in matrilineal societies in which older females model social behaviors for the younger members, influencing what they eat, do for fun, and who they mate with – as matriarchs may do in human societies. And, of course, orcas wear salmon hats and fashion kelp-based tools for their beauty routines.
Altruistic behaviors are common among orca communities. They commonly share food with their cetacean companions and family members as a "prosocial activity and a way [to] build relationships with each other," says lead author Jared Towers, ecologist at Bay Cetology in Canada.
The fact that they "share with humans may show their interest in relating to us as well."
The study spanned two decades and recorded dozens of instances in which wild orcas shared prey with humans. As criteria for inclusion, these interactions had to have been instigated by the whales, and not a result of humans approaching orcas. The interactions were either captured on video, in photos, or described to the researchers via interviews.
Of the 34 total recorded interactions, 21 involved people on boats, 11 involved people in the water, and 2 involved people on the shore. The orcas spanned both sexes and all age groups.
As another part of the inclusion criteria, the whales had to intentionally release the food in front of humans, from about one-orca-body-length away. Sometimes, the orcas played with the food items before releasing them.
About two-thirds of the time the orcas approached alone, but occasionally they approached in pairs and less often in groups. In half of the 34 interactions, the orcas offered an entire food item, such as a whole seal. In all but one of the cases the whales waited, for a median time of five seconds, to see what would happen after making their offering.
Ostensibly to the orcas' chagrin – but absolutely advised for ethics and cross-species safety – the humans ignored the offerings in 30 of the 34 recorded interactions. Still, some of the orcas made additional attempts to offer the food item. One can't blame an orca for trying.
Images from four instances when orcas offer food to humans Video stills of orcas sharing food items with humans. (Steve Hathaway/Lucía Corral/Jared R. Towers/Brian Skerry) It's possible that this interspecies prey-sharing is even more common than the study suggests, because this research only included examples based on strict criteria. Furthermore, these interactions may become increasingly common as human and orca activities begin to overlap more frequently.
Similar sharing behaviors have been previously observed in domesticated animals, like cats and dogs who sometimes split their food with their furless, bipedal friends. But this study is a rare groundbreaker that investigates sharing attempts from non-domesticated animals. As the researchers explain, "accounts of any wild animals attempting to provision humans are extremely rare."
Why are orcas so seemingly eager to share with humans? Perhaps to explore, play, and develop relationships with a curious brand of beings. Given the "advanced cognitive abilities and social, cooperative nature of this species," maybe orcas are attempting to forge cross-boundary relations. After all, stories of dolphins saving humans stretch back into antiquity.
Plus, orcas commonly hunt large prey, with diminishing returns when they end up with more food than they can consume, transport, or preserve.
And there's no clear risk of competition: orcas and humans are both apex predators but in "drastically different biomes." Accordingly, there are very few examples of wild terrestrial predators sharing surplus food with humans.
The researchers conclude that generalized altruism and reciprocity are cultural by-products of prosocial species. These behaviors are also social cornerstones associated with high levels of encephalization, or larger-than-expected brain size in relation to body size. In fact, orcas are second only to humans in this respect, say the study authors.
Therefore, these food-sharing interactions are a novel example that highlights an evolutionary and intellectual convergence, between the highest branches of the primate and cetacean trees of life.
This study was published in the Journal of Comparative Psychology.
Source
...the fuck?
Edit:nvm, username joke
I think I first saw this a decade ago.
Edit: And in that decade, not even a single post about those toilets being installed anywhere. Not one peep.
UK workers gonna end up with calfs of iron.
Steve King and the Case of the Cantaloupe Calves
Oops, I'm 230 pounds, I guess I sat down on this strange toilet too hard
Seriously, this has to be some clever business move to sell more toilets when the employees invariably take a sledge hammer to them.
Tell your coworkers to start plopping on the toilet. Won't last 3 days
Do this in protest:
I'm not a toilet expert but I once heard of some person that did this and they broke the ceramic and kind of cut their legs, so maybe don't.
I think this is an urban legend that never happened since I've never found any evidence of it happening, but definitely be careful and don't make a mess.
Edit: there is a relevant Wikipedia article somehow: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toilet-related_injuries_and_deaths
Edit 2: Maybe it happened once (NSFW): https://www.nairaland.com/2549481/graphic-pic-woman-got-serious
who even thinks about writing an article page on wikipedia about toilet related injuries and deaths
wikipedia editors
I have a medical condition that makes it difficult for me to defecate, so doing so often takes 20m or more.
I usually doo on my own time (because, like, ethic or whatever), but even so, this seems actively hostile to me and I wonder if there's a legal remedy.
You have to get a doctors note and then they let you use the disabled toilet.
Take enough toilet paper off the roll to wipe, use the rest of the roll to prop up the seat.
Next up, companies will force
employeesCOLLABORATORS wear diapers during their shifts, no more bathroom breaks to anyoneI'll just stand then
what if I need to shit
That's what the three hours between your day job and night job are for bud.
Look at Mr. Free Time over here with his 3 hours
Leg strain doesn't set in until after 5min...make it work
The pants may pose a challenge and require some preplanning, but 15° is probably perfect to make sitting cross legged pretty comfortable. Bonus benefit, they can't identify you by your feet.
I'd bring a wedge and keep it on my desk.
"oh that? Yeah that's my poopin' wedge, wanna take her for a spin?"
No no, Bobby, on the top, next to the mouse. Yeah that's where I put it, so that's where I want it back okay? Try and get it all off next time. And eat less dude! It helps reduce spatter.
That’s fine, I’ll just wear my extra thick platform shoes.
Upper decker coming right up.
Shit on the floor
Everybody walk the Dinosaur?
This cracked me up way more than it should have.
Gonna bring by own squatty potty to work
When they install these toilet I think it's a sign they want you to get creative with it.
Leave the pot and home anfd find a place at work that inspires you.
Isn't this kind of a move toward that anyway? The design seems like it raises your knees
You will need to brace yourself with your feet so you don't (slowly) slide off the seat.
I'm just gonna straddle it reverse cowgirl style
Butters style.
Good thing they're in private places so the asshole who ordered it won't know who broke it on day one.
Make a poop wedge.
Not working and get a leg exercise, what a steal
Leg day motivation
Just gonna have to piss and shit all over the seat to assert my dominance.
bring a book and shove it under the lid to make it level, fuck em. i shit till my legs go numb.
Wait, people sit on those things for longer than 5 mins?
Sometimes the crossword is a tricky one
Not sure how these novel toilets work.
But I'm quite sure they forgot a piece, luckily you can buy that for about 8€ and bring it to work.
Compensates nicely for the angle.
Also don't know how to flush them but the boss will work that out.
You can do that for disability reasons.
Wouldn’t a couple of small blocks under the seat just fix this “problem”.
I mean I’m surprised they just don’t put those homeless spikes on the seat.
If I'm suffering from the green apple splatter, my legs will not give a shit about 13 degree angle.
I'd just start going to a restroom elsewhere with normal seats and take even longer breaks just to send them a message
Don't hunch over? Stretch out! Legs and all! The easier angle will make it even better support.
Somewhere there is a sales deck estimating ROI for uncomfortable toilets.
Is that legal in your country?
Germany:
I checked the rules.
Although there are a ton of regulations, surprisingly none seem to reference the height, size, etc. of a toilet (seat). That's surprising, if you consider the minimum spacing of the toilet to the wall, door,... is given (see page 10 - 15).
But there is this "catch-all rule"
This basically translates to "Furnishings and physical structure may not endanger safety and health of the employees". The examples given are referencing e.g. sharp edges or possible accumulations of pathogens, but in the end I think that intentionally inducing strains is not very ergonomic and could be considered a health hazard.
That makes sense. In my coutry there is a specific rule about not interfer or stop employees from using the toilet whenever or for how long they need. This would 100% be illegal
Nobody said it's illegal.
I have an idea: I go to a forest, I don't care who's claiming it, and throw wooden spears at anyone who enters.
Weeeeeeellll
I wouldn't mind going to the bathroom and not finding all stalls occupied for the next 45 minutes because everyone and their mother is taking a shit whilst watching all three Lord of the rings movies on one go
Edit: seriously? This is being down voted? I'm all for fuck corporate and such, but seriously, I want to be able to go to a bathroom and actually find an unused stall. It sucks that everything is occupied with people watching TV there.
FADAQ!
This is just grounds to have a Squatty Potty at work.
Guys, guys! Take it from an American: Don't be like us. This is some shit our employers would do.
I know our lifestyle looked fun and enviable once we grew up and left the kingdom to live on our own. And it's not all bad, but mistakes were made!
To be fair, sitting in a toilet longer than needed is a great way to get hemorrhoids.
GTFO to be fair how about the shareholders get the paternalism toilets in their houses too
I wasn't defending them. Just stating a fact. No need to be rude.
Trying to be fair on behalf of the employer is not merely a fact and it is defending them.
I was stating a factual health concern, dude. Get hemorrhoids or just stand in the toilet while surfing on Lemmy, I don't care. You're trying way too hard to pick a fight with me. I'm sure YOUR boss isn't having to deal with that, is he?
Bullshit that's "concern" trolling. This device is not designed to help anybody's health and you're speculating a reason why it could be helpful at all. That's a real bad look bro.
Of course, I'm an agent of The Brotherhood of Bosses. My job is to sabotage Lemmy posts and to trigger you since you are all that stands between us and total worker slavery.
Dude, you want to pick a fight, I can tell. Find something else. Go beat your meat or something.
You're not an agent. Totally for free, you're trying to be fair to the side of the anti-worker toilet because maybe some employees are taking too long to shit.
Happened to me. I also gave my self diverticulitis from straining too hard over the years. Had surgery for both and it was awful.
I'm also learning this the hard way. Aging sucks. But I'll hush now or I'll trigger u/explodicle