People sometimes have difficulty walking the line between being nice and being a doormat and let people take advantage of their kindness. This bitters some people and they start to see their own kindness as a weakness.
When this happens they tend to think people who are kind just haven't had that bad experience yet and that they're naive about the way the world "really works".

Some people were taught that being an asshole is good; hence, being nice is bad.

You seem to be a nice person. Don’t give up. I hope you find your people and I’d be happy to have positive people like you around me. Do you read about Buddhism and metta at all? When the whole world can show love and respect to themselves and others it will be a better place, and you seem to be there already.

I'd bet that there is a lot of overlap between "people who are kind" and "people who are easily taken advantage of".

People think you are either (a) nice and let people walk all over you, or (b) you have to be evil to be strong. But the truth is you can be in between, you can be both nice and retaliatory in case others are evil to you first.

Its actually the best game-theory strategy, called "Tit-for-Tat", you be nice to others, but don't be afraid to retaliate when they start being evil. Because if you don't retaliate, they will take advantage of you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mScpHTIi-kM

Assholes like to rationalise their assholery by painting their victims as weak and somehow deserving it. You can very much see that in present day politics but you'll also meet people like that in real life.

They see it as a vulnerability they can exploit to get what they want. This is a reminder to use strong boundaries. You can be kind but also strong.

Because the world is ruled by sociopaths.

Due to the inherently competitive nature of living in a society that competes for resources, many people assume that a kind, upbeat person will be easy prey for someone tough and pushy. They lack the emotional intelligence to understand that you can be both kind and assertive.

In reality, you catch more flies with honey. Pretty much every study of game theory concludes that nice but assertive is the optimal strategy in any ongoing interaction. A nice person with a backbone is likely to have healthier boundaries, lower stress, and better relationships with people.

Because many people mistake selfishness for strength and intelligence.
However, not matter how wrong they are and how deep in denial they go, at the end of the day mean selfish people are bad people and kind people are good ones.

And these bad people look very stupid when they think they can get away with their bad behavior and the kind not naïve person, just say no and don't back down.

Because the world is run by narcissists and psychopaths

I mean the reason you have to ask is kind of... why

We're in mostly a capitalistic world. Capitalism makes utilitarianism seem easy since it becomes easy to assign a "value" to everything. That kind of thinking quickly gets you to naive cynicism. We're conditioned to think certain things are more valuable than others - mental wellbeing and community have been steadily devalued.

There's a saying "behind every cynic there's a disappointed idealist". We're in a world where a lot of people grew up in a time of amazing technological advancement, but have been bitterly disappointed by how the world is today. These people are now getting to that age where they may have been working the same job for a while (if they got lucky with job security) and they just want to get the job done and not exert any more effort than necessary (since by their experience, it doesn't "pay off").

Let them be them, you do your thing. They don't owe you any kind of behavior really, though it would be expected and polite of them to keep things at professional level of course. You don't owe them either so you don't have to let them bring you down. Don't take it personally though because it really, really isn't.

Obvs just my view. If you really want to know, you can try to just ask what they value and if you can work in a way that aligns with that while not disregarding your own values.

They think you're easy to take advantage of. If you assume that humans are innately evil (which I don't agree with), you'd also have to assume that kindness is a weakness.

IMO it's just propaganda, it's as simple as that. Evil people with no empathy want everyone to turn off their own empathy, so they can use their positions of power to exploit everyone else.

If people (sensibly) think that we should strive to be as kind as possible, it exposes the evil people as being obviously evil when they exploit others, and because we're trying to be as nice as possible we then wouldn't tolerate that and we'd take away their power so they can't exploit people any more.

Because the world is a horrible place full of horrible people that need to convince themselves that they're not horrible people.

Likely because they were once upbeat and positive people too and it didn't get them what they want so they have changed their ways to be less positive.

So anybody who is still positive, in their experience, hasn't learned yet that that isn't going to get them what they want.

It might be a defense mechanism. They were taken advantage of when they were more open and positive.

It might just be bad learned behavior. The people who have what they want aren't very positive to them.

It is also not easy to stay positive so a lot of people choose not to. Sometimes we like to make excuses for why people are able to do the harder things that we're not doing. "Oh I would volunteer too if I had as much time as them.". "Oh I am just not naive enough to be that positive"

I treat people being overly kind as deceptive.

Rudeness is merely an expression of fear. People fear they won't get what they want. The most dreadful and unattractive person only needs to be loved, and they will open up like a flower.

There are different kinds of kindness. The people-pleasing kind may come across as being naive and triggers some people. Another kind of kindness is to actually care and be curious about others and that usually comes across better.

"Do not mistake my kindness as weakness"

Some of it is setting boundaries. If you don't stop certain behavior at the start, it just builds up, unintentionally aslo.

For example if your name is Robert, and you prefer Robert, correcting someone who called you "Bob" is the first action, otherwise they will keep doing it not knowing any better. Because if you wait til you're upset with it, they're going to take it as hostility because "you never said anything before" and you're probably pissed when you do correct them.

I don't know but sorry this is happening to you. Do not give up. It is certainly not naive, you can be most kind and firm with people, you can be kind and competent. You don't need to be an asshole to get things done (I'm sure you have figured that out already) and I find that seeing the best in people works out better more of the time, anyway.

Anger spreads. It hates everything that doesn't inflame it.

I mean no one walks over me but I do get the sorta. oh thats cute. Im not so sure im kind though as much as polite and looking at things in terms of what works and whats right.

Pessimists, like everyone else, feel that their way is the right way, and if you aren't as miserable as them, you must not be doing something right.

Reasons vary between people. It's not important. If you want to know, ask the people in question.

Don't think everyone SHOULD be doing it like you. If you feel like being upbeat, be upbeat. ACCEPT not everyone is but they don't get to force their view on you either.

It's naive to think one way is more "right" than the other.

That's just some Murican bullshit, it's what happens to people raised by reality tv

It's harder to do the right thing, it's tough to be truly kind.

Follow your heart and try to make a better world around you

you will be seen as too trusting and people take advantage of it, and it can be your downfall. i know some people that are pushovers like that, can barely afford bills at this point.

Disagree. In my lived experience, the kindest person in the room is often the smartest.

I'd say it's seen more as a sign of insecurity and some people thrive on that. You need to set boundaries or they'll keep trying things.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prisoner%27s_dilemma

I think that attitude is a symptom of burnout, either with work or life as a whole. They've probably been taken advantage of and let down a number of times and have developed a mindset that good work doesn't get noticed, people don't get what they deserve, so why bother?

Not saying it's justified or healthy thinking. But when they see your attitude they might be saying internally "just wait til you've seen what I've seen"

Some people have bad experiences where they lost trust in people and therefore treat the lack of trust as experience. That if you aren't as paranoid as they are, you don't know as much as they do.

Also, some people are bad to work with or are mediocre at their jobs, especially at communication. This is how they cover for themselves. It isn't their fault that they messed up, you didn't tell them something that they should have realized they should have asked but it is easier just to blame you.

There are many things at play in situations such as you describe. One of which is often a form of jealousy "I don't feel happy, so you shouldn't either". People often don't even realize they do this, sub conscious.

They probably don't intend to be negative, just haven't found a way to better be.

Here’s three ideas that come up:

This reminds me of the Fool’s Choice: you either lie and keep friends or you tell the truth and lose friends.

Similarly, I suppose that people who see kindness as a sign of naiveness have not learned how hostage negotiators do their work. A good hostage negotiator will act kindly, but they’re anything but naive.

Finally, I suppose whoever is deciding to ‘walk over kind people’ has lots of fears and a fragile identity they need to protect.

Let me know if you’re interested in learning about where these ideas come from.

Bullies (personality disordered) seek out the strong to "prove" themselves "strong", and perceived weak for laughs/external validation. They are afraid they have nothing of substance to offer (they don't), and rather than sit with themselves to find weaknesses and flaws (much too painful, either due to an over-indulgent -- or more often, a physically/verbally/sexually/financially abusive -- upbringing) and do the work to be better people (if they can correctly identify "better," because to them, abusive behavior seems safe and strong ["suckers and losers" = "bad, they deserve it"]).

You're going to have to be the one to protect you, I'm sorry to say. Most people don't want to risk being "trouble makers," lest they lose their jobs. You're going to have to start documenting everything, then either meet with your supervisor, but an anonymous email (not from the company device or account or connection) may be able to check that behavior. If it doesn't, you'll have to meet with your supervisor or HR. I'd strongly recommend trying to find something else, before that meeting, but have your notes photocopied to take to the meeting and try to use different language. Leave the original copy home, with a photocopy in a different place, in case one set of notes becomes lost or damaged.