Spyke

"YOU ARE MY CHOSEN DISCIPLE. GO FORTH AND SLAY THE NON-BELIEVERS IN MY NAME."

Don't even say who you are. Everyone will just assume it's the god they already believe in. And everyone who doesn't believe in a god would start questioning everything.

80
lemmy.world

"Message to all players: Resetting simulation in 24 hours"

73

Blink to save your current progress and stats

Don't blink to return to character creation menu

17
kbin.earth

"Did you just switch it to broadcast? Fuck, turn it off!"

60
lemmy.world

"This is not you, this is god, you are the new messiah like my son Jesus before you. It is up to you to right all that's gone wrong in my world. Many will come forward and say that they received this message but do not be fooled for that is Satan trying to defeat you."

Then I get popcorn and watch the whole world burn.

43
Corkyskogreply
sh.itjust.works

I think if you said son or sons and left out "Jesus" you would get greater effect. Make it ambiguous enough that it calls to every Abrahamic religion.

16
taxiiiiireply
lemmy.world

use "your god" instead of god, "chosen one" instead of messiah and "evil" instead of satan and you get the polytheistic religions to join in as well.

also, some highly confused star wars fans, maybe.

6

I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying 'flee at once - all is discovered.' They all left town immediately.
― Mark Twain

33
lemm.ee

Funny thing about that, it's a losing battle to spread it since by the very rules of "the game", you thought about the game to post it, and thus lost :D

6
lemmy.dbzer0.com

'YOU! You know what you did! Make it right!'

Then sit back and look at all the guilty faces.

26

"There is no Heaven or Hell. The only Paradise is that which you create for others by your own hand. And you are failing."

21
lemmy.dbzer0.com

Kind of against the letter of the rule since this isn't really intended to cause chaos for the sake of chaos,but I'm sure chaos will result nonetheless.

"This is God, there's a reason why i put variations on love thy neighbor in every single religion. Differences in faith and race don't matter, helping others and making the world a better place do. You've disappointed me, do better"

19

"We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty."

14

"nah, don't tell the humans, it would just cause panic and there's nothing they can do anymore"

14

"Is this thing on ?" And then never say anything further.

14

I feel like a way worse thing to say would be "your religion is the right one." This would 100% increase religious tensions and fan the flames of fanaticism. Saying the other one is true isn't likely to play into people's already established worldviews and established worldviews are not changed by a single sentence regardless of who or how it's said.

7
lemmy.ca

Geico could save you 15% or more on car insurance. Keep honking to save 1% per second.

11

We’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty.

4
lemmy.world

"Remember you'll die."

I'm not a troublemaker so it would have to be for a good reason... and how I wish I could shake people out of their stupor and there's no better way than to consider your own mortality, as it puts things into perspective.

9
lemmy.world

Eh, they were gonna be aware of it regardless, it's just a bit uncomfortable, lol. I mean, the whole prompt was to create chaos, this is but a step above "Santa's not real" and under "Western amorality and capacity to organise for the purpose of murder and pillage with no second thoughts has given the West their position in the world for about two millennia". Any reasonable human was gonna realize it eventually, is what I mean. 🤷

4

If it's just a thought and not a phrase or words that has to be translated or anything ... and an image that everyone could understand ... I'd go with the standard ...

Imagine everyone all over the world seeing this thought all at once and everyone confirming what they saw among themselves and everyone else everywhere ... everyone confirming the same image across languages, countries, regions, religions, rich, poor, literate, illiterate.

A bonus would be to have the alien say something in a language and voice that absolutely no one on the planet could possibly understand.

Then repeat the broadcast for five seconds once a day, every day.

8

My message is in stereo. In the right ear, a booming, authoritative voice saying "Question everything, don't trust authority, the God you believe in might not be real."

In the left ear, a serpentine voice telling them to trust their religious leaders, you don't know much yourself, you can't trust your logic, you have to have faith.

7
piefed.social

The government has been secretly tracking everyone's farts since 1998. The next one you release will trigger your official ranking on the Global Flatulence Leaderboard. visible to everyone.

7

time for what if xkcd: "what if every human and animal on the planet farted at the same time?"

7

Do they know it’s my thought or do they think it’s their own?

7

"You will expire in 30 days."

Retain the ambiguity across all translations.

7
lemmy.dbzer0.com

Kind of against the letter of the rule since this isn't really intended to cause chaos for the sake of chaos,but I'm sure chaos will result nonetheless.

"This is God, there's a reason why i put variations on love thy neighbor in every single religion. Differences in faith and race don't matter, helping others and making the world a better place do. You've disappointed me, do better"

6

That's where the chaos comes in, how would they reconcile the dichotomy between an ostensibly divine message that directs them to follow the teachings of the religion that they profess to follow and the actions of their own party that directly contradict that in a lot of ways? Chaos would be an understatement for a lot of them.

I'm sure the mental gymnastics involved with trying to reconcile both sides would be worthy of the Olympics.

4

The rapture of the holy happened five minutes ago and no one was saved. The next 3.5 years will be chaos, starvation and death. Save yourself if you can.

5

Does this forget that intrusive thoughts exist for everyone and generally most people would assume it was just that?

5

You guys know "everyone" includes trump, putin, jo-un, jimping, and all the other crazies out there right?!

Do we want to end the world?

4

Something like "This is God speaking." and "You were right, and all the other religions were wrong". Nukes would just fling flang and we'd finally just end it.

4

"Hey guys, sorry, I had to step away for a bit. What did you guys do!? Now I have to start all over again. I'll put you guys in the archives along with all the other ones, play nice!"

4

"I hope you've enjoyed your free trial. Please consider subscribing before your trial end date in 3 days. All deleted data will not be recoverable."

3

Gradually escalating unidentifiable whispering. Everyone starts asking if you can hear something, you all start agreeing you can hear whispering but not what it is, then the paradolia kicks in and people start hearing what they expect to hear. The constant gradual increase in volume. Increases the fear and certainty in what people are hearing, but also disrupts sleep and wakes anyone who was sleeping. Soon everyone is awake, sleep deprived, and panicked.

2

Wouldn't matter for people who still don't really have access, but I'm taking a page out of supervirus Daemon's book and telling everyone the web has been 100% infected and that they only have a short amount of time before it deletes itself permanently.

2

Ok for real chaos

To all the women: "This is God. For eons, women have been subjugated. Women are the superior gender, take your rightful places on the throne"

To all the minorities, "This is God. You are the superior race, take your rightful places on the throne"

To all the men "This is God, I have made men rightful rulers for eons, do not give it up so lightly. Take back what it is rightfully yours"

To all the majorities, "This is God. Defend your homes against the invaders. They are wolves in sheep's clothing"

And of course, randomize it slightly, so a few men get the women's message, some women get the men's message, etc. Really play into the faction angles.

-1