Spyke
jmcsreply
discuss.tchncs.de

Because Mexico already has enough problems without having to deal with Texans?

96

They would just move back into the Us. And with the settlers gone, indigenous people may be allowed ot move back.

5
midwest.social

You move that gods damned line to include Michigan. Right fucking now.

111

Nope. Move to a real blue state if you wanna come. MI has betrayed us too many times. We don't need that in New Canada.

64
Optionalreply
lemmy.world

Okay okay. We'll round up and murder the MAGATs and their moms. Then we can join, right?

-3
NewNewAccountreply
lemmy.world

The entirety of Michigan? Or should the Upper Peninsula stay a part of the US?

15
ramble81reply
lemm.ee

You can have islands that belong to countries, why not land locked enclaves! (Yes I under logistics and such)

22

On behalf of California, we accept this proposal, and we accept Canada as our new federal government.

I also propose we officially refer to the remainder of the US as "Dumbfuckistan".

71
glimse
lemmy.world

ITT: People pretending that Oregon, Michigan, and probably Washington don't have a huge population of total fuckos.

Carve a line down the coasts. You don't want the whole state. And while you're at it, take the lakes and Chicago

59
WhoLooksHerereply
lemmy.world

Canada also has its own population of total fucks. We keep them in the prairies. However like those states, it might be leaning more towards wanting that?

Disclaimer: not a source, just an ass on the internet.

19
Atroposreply
lemmy.world

Yeah, East side of the cascades in OR and WA is extremely conservative. But they are currently hopelessly outnumbered.

10
Pyrreply
lemmy.ca

It's the same in BC, east of the Cascades is also extremely conservative while coastal west side is where most of the liberals are. Even a good chunk west of the mountains are pretty conservative, it's mostly just directly within the Vancouver greater area that's liberal and then the island.

5
Pyrreply

Mmm particular pockets are very liberal but other pockets can be quite conservative.

1
blazeknavereply
lemmy.world

How about sky bridges between fortified independent city state enclaves?

8
Lucidlethargyreply
sh.itjust.works

We had to accept Oregon in order to draw a line down to California. We sure as FUCK aren't accepting Idaho.

8

You don't have to take states in their entirety, you know. No reason you can't split them up

2
TheDoozerreply
lemmy.world

Eastern Washington people have been wanting to separate from Western Washington for a really long time. Western Washington is like "well fuckin do it." But nobody actually tries to secede because EW's dependent on WW's economy.

6
smeenzreply
lemmy.nz

So...there's a correlation between a lack of access to large bodies of water, and support for trump ?

4

Big cities tend to get build near water and denser populations (exposure to a greater variety of people) tends to make them people less conservative.

The more remote you are, the more likely you are to be isolated in an echo chamber of xenophobia.

7

Oregon is already trying to redraw their state border with Idaho. Could just do that.

2
isyasad
lemmy.world

Accepting pleas from other comments here, Canada could get away with about this. And if they have the whole Pacific border, I'll also throw in Hawaii for free.

52
prolereply
lemmy.blahaj.zone

You'd have to create a corridor through Southern Idaho and Northern Utah to join the new state of "New Mexirado" with the rest if you removed Arizona... Hard work, but I believe it could be done.

4
FanciestPantsreply
lemmy.world

Hm. Went with cutting Washington and Oregon in half rather than full take. Pretty bold, but makes some sense.

14
Baguettereply

Theres citylife washington and middle of nowhere washington. Occasionally middle of nowhere washington likes to throw fits in the city to support trump because they have nothing better to do

Though i guess that goes with cali as well. Lots of the non cities in the west coast just really love trump despite reaping all the state benefits that are very non-republican.

12
greenhornreply

Eastern Oregon is already trying to join Idaho anyway

4

Y'all are going to regret taking Arizona. And, frankly, everything in California not in view of the coast.

8
Eirireply
lemmy.ca

I think they'd maybe rather be independent?

5
prettybunnysreply
sh.itjust.works

Listen.

MD will take Pennsylvania and bring it into new Canadania as long as we can bring West Virginia with us too.

Theyโ€™re dumb but theyโ€™re our dumbs.

3

You don't wan the middle of PA... Maybe if they just turn everything between Philadelphia and Pittsburgh into a weapons testing site? Turn it into "no man's land" like it was always mean to be.

1

A couple tweaks: Include Illinois and the eastern part of Pennsylvania. (edit: I see you did get Chicago, maybe just go a bit further south?).

2
NuclearDolphinreply
lemmy.ml

Fuck that bougie ass state. Entirely occupied by weapons contractors. Leave them in New Honkia

9
Sturgistreply
lemmy.ca

Bump for nuking the so called "Great" lakes

4

C'mon now, the last thing Cleveland and Buffalo need is radioactive lake effect snow

5
knexcarreply
lemmy.world

No, Iโ€™m living there now, and the city Iโ€™m in feels like a wannabe California (aka liberal, techy, high housing costs, etc)

3
Bgugireply

Wisconsin has three major cities with VERY different personalities. One of them is very Portland/silicon valley (in its own Midwest-y way), one is borderline detroit-y, the other is an overgrown suburbia.

3

Wississippi

Only state to have (I think) four presidential elections decided by less than 1%.

The states motto is "Forward" and it used to be one of the most progressive states, but it was also the testing ground for the Koch bros media network, that plus the gerrymandering from 2010 really set us back.

2

What the fuck did you just say?! Are you suggesting that we are inbred? Alabama! Fuck you!

2
lemmy.ca

Seriously, why isn't the Canadian government offering US states to join them? It would be the perfect response to Trumps bullshit.

You want Canada to submit to the US? Hey Oregon, California, and the others, wanna join us instead?

If California leaves the US it would fucking bankrupt the US.

41

Washington State: "Come on! We're right there. Are we a joke to you and just here for you to shop?"

16
ryathalreply
sh.itjust.works

America has already proven it's willing to go to war to keep territory, Canada doesn't want that fight.

10

We'll just put up free guns signs pointing away all the way between our border and the Whitehouse and the path will be clear to burn it down again.

5

I don't think it's a serious comment. It's a joke to be shot back at Trump since he made comments about taking Canada

9
rabberreply

Because Canadians don't want it so they wouldn't be representing our best interests

5

On top of other responses, lots of folks are saying the conservatives are coming to power in Canada. Those conservatives would hate upsetting their advantage by contending with what would be an overwhelmingly liberal population.

3
lemmy.world

Oh man I'd love to see the civil unrest in the red States when they don't have us new Yorkers to give them their welfare payments.

34
Baguettereply

Same from the west coast. If only cali oregon and washington could just be a west coast alliance separate from the rest of the problem states.

18
reddthat.com

lol @ New Hampshire

Also, that would be about 37% of the US economy. California making the highest percentage at 14% of the US economy while New York would be in 2nd place at 8%. The least impactful would be Vermont with 0.2% (for got to include Rhode Island). However, I think this would wreck the world economy with the financial hub of the US (New York City) who manages the investments of world's reserve currency (dollar) would switch from US Dollar to Canadian Dollar. The US would also lose access to the Pacific and a considerable amount of military force stationed in the West Coast states.

26
Donkterreply
lemmy.world

Not to mention half of the important US ports. The states left would face a harsh reality when everything tripled in price as all the goods that used to be subsidized by the rich states are now hit with import taxes as well.

11

As a resident of New England, I'm ok with all of these changes.

10

It would be harsh both ways when the US damns the Colorado River, and California really dries out.

3
adarzareply

lol @ New Hampshire

fuckyouinparticular

The US would also lose access to the Pacific

donvict's gonna invade panama to take the canal back, remember? nbd.

2
lemmy.zip

If you go by recent province/state wide election results:

Alberta, Saskatchewan and probably Manitoba go to Jesusland.

... And Colorado and New Mexico, and Illinois become exclaves like Kaliningrad.

CO+NM is exceptionally fucked because its landlocked, and almost in a Lesotho situation (being wholly surrounded by a single other country) were it not for Mexico...

Though I guess Illinois would not be much better off as Jesusland would likely claim it owns all of Lake Michigan beyond 50 miles of Illinois' shore.

And Virginia actually went for Harris, so that's also part the United States of Canada.

26
DaddleDewreply
lemmy.world

Actually, only 19% of Albertans would want to join the US according to this poll . I'm surprised too. It really looks like these people are a loud minority. Or that at least being more conservative doesn't necessarily mean wanting to become part of the US.

14
Pyrreply
lemmy.ca

There might be more than 19% of Canadians who want Alberta to join the US lol

10

I want the Albertan's who want to join the US to GTFO and go to the US, but no, I don't want to split the country in two.

4

Im going by functional votes for a conservative head of state, not wanting to join another country... or seceede, cough Quebec cough Texas cough.

1

Probably all the same town groups. I wonder what is the lead level in those water.

0
Phoenixzreply
lemmy.ca

Colorado and NM should totally join Mexico, they'd be better off there

5
Phoenixzreply

Mexico is really quite amazing ina lot of things. Nothing you see in TV, basically

1

Last election turnout was heavily influenced by Netanyahu. Swing states in general are more open to better options than Trump, that Harris just failed to impress. Trade with Canada important to all of them.

1
lemmy.sdf.org

Excuse me but that incorporation of California, Oregon, Washington and British Columbia gets in the way of the glorious Long Chile Project. We shall be having words.

(By all means do take MN, CT and WDC tho.)

25
SubArcticTundrareply
lemmy.ml

Nah I'm more partial to a Long California going down that island on the bottom left

2
Maple Engineerreply
lemmy.world

-Life expectancy will go up from a world ranking of 48th (USA) to 20th (Canada).

-Education will get better from 31st (USA) to 19th (Canada).

-Math scores will improve from 34th (USA) to 9th (Canada).

-Robberies will go down from 98 per 100,000 population to 62.

-Traffic accident deaths will drop from 12.7 per 100,000 to 5.3.

-You will spend half as much on health care yet get better outcomes.

-Poverty in Canada is 1/3 the rate in the USA.

-Although Canada has fewer millionaires, we more fairly distribute wealth (better income equality).

-The minimum wage in Canada is double that in USA.

and most important you will be happier (Canada ranked 15th, USA 23rd in happiness).

(We couldn't find a politeness index, but thank you for reading)

51
prolereply
lemmy.blahaj.zone

Imagine how much worse all of those statistics will get once they absorb large chunks of the US!

11

I can assure you that the vast majority of Canadians are well aware of that fact and totally disinterested in become part of the US or taking on any part thereof.

Americans joining Canada would have to give up their guns and other weapons, compete that training and licensing processes, and if successful would have the revocable and modifiable privilege of owning a very small selection of approved guns. They would have to accept that religious freedom in Canada, which is much higher than in the US, means that you are free to practice your religion in any way you choose as long as it doesn't effect anyone else's rights and you are free to have no religion at all. They would have to accept that it is settled law in Canada that a woman's healthcare decisions are between her and her healthcare provider and none of anyone else's business. They would have to accept that everyone has the right to marry, has had the right for decades, and that the only thing destroy traditional marriage is traditionally married people. They would have to accept that free speech in Canada does not include racism or hate speech. Most Americans would not fit in in Canada and we are not interested in becoming Americans and giving up the things that make us the best country in the world.

9

Not really. Canada's getting all the states that are doing the heavy lifting in those shitty numbers. If not for them, every metric would be worse.

4

Wouldn't you get most of the millionaires and billionaires by including California and New York and the stats will start going to the US level or worse?

3

Canada is 85 per 100,000 and the US is 146 per 100,000. Canada is a world leader in Corrections. We are focused on rehabilitation and reintegration. That's why whenever there is a breakdown of a government Correctional Service Canada is on the Nation Building team that the UN sends in to help rebuild. I worked at CSC for 25 years and knew a guy who was on the UN plane that crashed in Kosovo during the Nation Building exercise there.

3

Because despite what the neo-fascists in the US (and in Alberta and the Conservative party) say it is very difficult to move to Canada. We don't have open borders.

4
Snapzreply
lemmy.world

Is this an unlabeled bad joke that's too close to what an actual idiot would say in real life?

2
Kazumarareply
discuss.tchncs.de

We are on Lemmy, so it's mostly still save to assume the first case

I actually liked the joke too

2
nifty
lemmy.world

WI and MI want in on that, for sure

Well, MI at least

21
hovercatreply
lemmy.blahaj.zone

I can tell you that a large part of that was as a spite non-vote against Harris due to her not speaking up against Israel. Less about supporting Agent Orange, and more about not supporting the genocide of Palestinians by the very large arab and Muslim population in SE Michigan.

8

spite non-vote

lol... well that non-vote got you a president who is absolutely going to be a lot worse for Palestinians than Harris.

I had and observed several arguments with single issue Palestinian crisis "voters" who flat out refused to hold their nose and vote for the obviously less damaging candidate before the election.

so sit and spin, if you are an American and either didn't vote, or you voted for trump; you have nothing to say worth listening to...

I'm sure all the dead Palestinians will thank you while Trump is pouring petrol on the genocide fire

0
adhocfungusreply
midwest.social

As somebody from Wisconsin I will say that I don't approve of us being excluded, but I also can't blame them.

3

Yes. Need Michigan or Detroit area if alternative is to destroy big 3 auto industry.

0

Solving the problem is dissolving all borders so the working class isn't divided into easily managed nation states.

21
Snapz
lemmy.world

Is the US losing just about all of the top universities in this "trade"?

18
riodoro1reply
lemmy.world

Where theyโ€™re going they donโ€™t need no universities.

24
Snowclonereply
lemmy.world

Losing CA alone would make the US possibly not even a world power. NY and CA gone, the US Would be a thing no one really has a reason to think of talk about. Suddenly all the movies would be about aliens landing on Canada or blowing up Canadian national landmarks.

6

It's never worked and never will, that's the whole point of the Civil War. The military wouldn't just sit back and do nothing, and states that try to leave wouldn't have a professionally outfitted military. My opinion, if anyone really tried, a few handcuffs would end their attempts.

1

Nobody's going to go there after abortion is banned.

Nobody wants their prince or princess saddled with that.

6
lemmy.world

Trump: Fine, they can have California for all I care.

Advisors: Sir, if California were its own country it would be the world's 6th largest economy.

Trump: How about if we just send all the Mexicans there with some beautiful rakes?

18

Australia can come too. THE END!

Edit for the young ones: this is older than YouTube. It was a flash animation which was like a 2d game engine that ran in-game cutscenes in your web browser because that worked on slower internet speeds than video.

15
xeekei
lemm.ee

I'm neither American nor Canadian but from what I've heard, maybe hand Alberta over to the US?

13
Albbireply
lemmy.ca

I'm in Alberta right now and it's probably the place that would most likely accept that offer.

9

Maybe we could have BC come in and do a left wing inquisition. All the right wingers will be banished to the badlands and that will be handed over.

3

NY thanks you for your support. Whatโ€™s the pizza/poutine exchange rate like these days? Havenโ€™t been up north in years.

12

In this case that's called an "exclave" and yes, I believe there would be a large willing number of those.

7
fadhl3y
lemmy.world

Can someone ask r/askconservatives how they feel about this plan?

12

Canadian conservatives would hate it. It would foul their apparent momentum in also getting control like the conservatives did in the US.

2
lemmy.world

Michigander here. Home of the water, Canada's daughter. We're coming with you even if it's just for the hockey.

11

Iโ€™m a Canadian and my dream is to one day fake my death and move to Minnesota where I can live in a small cabin away from anyone.

10
HoMasterreply
lemm.ee

Airplanes. Flyover states will still be flyover states.

5
Hector
lemmy.ca

The question is, would Canada want that? I get the feeling that most of us living north of the border just want to be left alone and we would send you all the thoughts and prayers we could spare and wish you all the best so long as you let us be.

8
Isthisredditreply
lemmy.world

Yes, they absolutely want it - minus the dumb fuck part of Canada (is that Alberta?) - west coast and north east USA are highly educated, powerhouses in industry, and basically pay for the welfare queen red states. It's so fucking crazy how the east coast and west coast are held hostage by all that land in the red states

20
humanspiralreply
lemmy.ca

Canada cannot accept US rule because of US debt burden which is unsustainable, in addition to pensions, healthcare, and a demonic ruler under extreme corruption permitted by SCC. The US is a genuine shithole that is bound to collapse and, while that collapse will hurt Canadian economy, it is worse to be inside it.

Canadians like American people. Certainly, it is both an economic boom without sacrificing Canadian sustainability to absorb US states. A guide to secession written last time Trump won: https://www.naturalfinance.net/2016/11/opposition-to-new-us-republican-control.html

The big issue is US debt and the fair share of "leaving states". There is a fair number, but also an asshole version of the number.

A "future fiction history" of Canada assimilating the US one state at a time.: https://www.naturalfinance.net/2018/02/fictional-future-history-reclaiming.html

6
parriccreply
lemmy.world

Thing is Canada shouldn't have its politics influenced by the US from absorbing it either. As a Texan, I can say both our politicians and voters suck. But there could be an easy solution around this problem. Canada could just absorb the US as a newly created Southwest Territories. Territories are directly under the federal government and have no government of their own. Canadians would get new land and resources. Americans would get better healthcare and to be ruled by a less shitty government. Everyone would win.

4

I don't believe people understand any advantage to being in a territory, rather than having "full" input in a federation. Provincehood is an easier sell to the people who would have to ultimately accept. I do like the idea of enslaving Texans, under a posession, there is just a "who with what army" aspect to enforcing that.

1
abigscaryhoboreply
lemmy.world

Good lord what is that future fiction article? It reads like an edgelord teenagers manifesto.

-1

Any part of your comment you want to reword as "not understanding" or "specifically disliking"?

1
rabberreply

Almost nobody would want this. Canada has the same size population as California and it already feels full lol

3
PolarisFxreply
lemmy.dbzer0.com

Not true, we hate parts of America. I see nothing wrong with the image. Those states are ones I actually like to visit. Hell in the beforetiimes there was never really a border between Vermont and Quebec. Whole towns were split between the borders, and people could walk across the border for a pizza across the street.

9

The geography is fine to have but unfortunately it is filled with Americans

Itโ€™s not worth it

-1

I wouldn't mind becoming a part of Canada so long as I still can get my financial aid for college. That, and we make it so anything coming in from Asia to the US has to either go to through us and we make them pay a little extra for it, or it be sent along another route.

6

Give Texas, Arizona and new Mexico to Mexico, and push all the white trash to Florida.

6
Sergio
slrpnk.net

Nah. Just say: we changed our minds, the South can secede.

5

Someone needs to post this to trump on truth or X or whatever he uses.

4

Populous wise Im curious to see if that just made Canada larger than the U.S.

The GDP is likely equal as well, if not higher in Canada at that point. CA is much higher than TX and NY is still higher than FL.

4

Please for fucks sake Canada, annex New England and the New York City Metro area as war reparations when this shit is over. We're economically productive!!

3

Give Alberta and Saskatchewan to the US.

Let the US keep the eastern third of Washington and Oregon. Canada doesn't really want those people anyway.

3

West coast resident. Iโ€™m ready, letโ€™s do it. The rest of the US hates us.

3
adj16
lemmy.world

I think I speak for all Georgians when I say please include us too (I definitely do not)

2
adj16reply

Maybe we could go along the coast and include Savannah before grabbing Atlanta, Iโ€™d miss that city.

2

Unfortunately, despite electing a democratic governor, lt governor, and AG the state otherwise went full maga in voting choices.

Which is why this would really suck for a lot of folks. Today they may not quite get their preferences at home, but at least other states are keeping it competitive and may mitigate things. If those states left, then everything falls into a fanatical Christian fascist ethno state with no impediments.

3

Take the entirety of the Great Lakes. Lots of cities and resources to use to smite the rest of the US at a later date.

2
lemmy.dbzer0.com

Lol I love how New Hampshire is just left out. Now how am I gonna get my New Hampshire clam chowder?

2
Jack
lemmy.ca

I'm not sure Canadians would want the 6 million Californians who voted for Trump (more than 38% of the voters in the state); or the 3.5 million New Yorkers who voted for Trump (42.7%). Maybe leave the mostly rural areas of the Dem states for Trumpistan?

Also the included states have a larger population than Canada, so it would be Canada joining the Dem states - which I can't see any sane 1st-world country doing.

Letting the Trump states become a country, and the Dem states (sans rural areas) become a different country, seems like it would make both groups vastly happier; tho it would require allowing at least a few years for people to swap states.

2

From humanist/freedom perspective, the right way to do secession, is first have a state/regional vote, but then allow subregions to also choose to be the exception. The divide in US is primarily Urban/rural. There is the issue that freedom is illusional everywhere including the US. You need to be enslave to the rulership, and not allowed to leave, even if we let Netanyahu pick our leaders through a theater of an election.

1

Nobody wants Florida. It just shows up as part of your country one day. No one is sure how it got there but you are too terrified to kick them out because of Florida man.

4
rbos
lemmy.ca

Good luck getting them to swear fealty to HM the King of Canada.

This wouldn't be them joining Canada, it would be New California and friends.

1
Kaputreply

It would be pretty easy to get rid of monarchy if we were to open the constitution.

6
Alteon
lemmy.world

Oh, God....please take Virginia as well! We're mostly progressive!

1

I don't want to share the great lakes with USA. Let's compromise and take the rust belt. There won't be enough of them to cause too much issues. Plus then we can get Chicago and Philly too.

1

You only want the west sides of California, Oregon, and Washington, and DC is on the wrong side of the border.

0
lemmy.ml

I mean... Yeah, at this point, any government other than the one running CA is better for CA.

0

Canada should just take over the entirety of the US, a few reeducation camps could fix the red states.

-1

The US can keep Southern California. Saves a lot of future bickering if they get to keep pacific ports.

-1