Spyke
lemmy.world

"I did not have sectional relations with that futon" -JD Vance, probably

112

How would one go about acquiring such envelopes? Asking for a friend.

4

For our UK friends, 2 Scaramuccis is ~ 0.5 Trusses. It's a fairly precise unit of measure. For other international friends, this around 20-22 days.

28

At first glance I read that as "erection", and tbf you're probably right either way lmao

On a side note, I'm out of the loop on the origins of the couch fucking gag, and am really not sure I want to look it up lol can anyone give me the gist (unless this meme is it, in which case, did someone set him up for this, or is it really just "horny loser confuses sofa for juicy rear"?)

13

JD Vance having wrote in his book that he fucked a couch is misinformation originating from Twitter, but it is also Lemmy's shitpost trend of the month.

What made this one special is that AP retracted a fact check on it since it was published without meeting its guidelines and was trying to debunk the wrong question (It was debunking whether Vance fucked a couch instead of whether he wrote in his book that he did). But that fueled the fire to the stupidly hilarious chain of memes.

9
TrickDacyreply
lemmy.world

A random Twitter user made up some bullshit and then everyone thought it was funny and obsessively repeated it. I don't find it funny or helpful myself, though

4
lemmy.world

But you're doing it wrong. You have to make juvenile, belittling jokes for your tribe while decrying the belittling, juvenile jokes made by the other tribe.

3
Naichreply
lemmings.world

Good forbid anyone might have a bit of a laugh at the expense of the person who literally wants to get elected in order to opress them.

Some people do not deserve respect. Especially pompous wannabe tyrants.

7
Azzureply
lemm.ee

It's still not different though, only the perceived righteousness is.

-1

You should have heard what people were saying about Hitler during WW2. They even wrote songs about his testicles. Outrageous disrespect.

5
TrickDacyreply
lemmy.world

Yes. Because it was absurd and not at all believable. I never had to Google it to see if it was true or based on truth.

2
lemmy.world

That's just because the world was less crazy back then. Normally you'd know this was a joke but reality has been so absurd

0
TrickDacyreply
lemmy.world

The world might seem more absurd now, but it is absolutely more believable that he made some awkward remark about couches once that came out weird. So I looked it up and no, just some idiot lying flat out. That's why it really annoys me people won't rise an inch above Republicans on this. I mean honestly it barely would be funny if he literally did allude to fucking a couch.

1

Lol what? I knew immediately he didn't fuck a couch, and would need proof to believe it. Have better internet hygiene ffs. That's on you.

0
zcdreply

At this rate I'm thinking that applies to Trump as well, he looks ready to quit and run to Russia

6
lemmy.world

I despise Vance and Trump, the utmost trash of humanity, but this comes from a fake news. I used to see hate from fake news only from Republicans

15
madcaesarreply
lemmy.world

I have no problem fake news being weaponized against assholes that do nothing but lie and spread fake news.

0

You should have a problem with that. We should all have a problem with that. We don't want this to become a battle of which side can make up more ridiculous claims about the other side.

5
lemmy.world

Who cares though?

I've fucked some more questionable things around my house.

15

Holy shit the end of that story makes it so much better hahahahah

10

Vance actually had sectional relations

Holy shit that's gold.

6
lemmy.world

Nowhere in the book does that anecdote appear — and certainly not on the pages mentioned.

The "journalist" wrote the article without reading the book.

4
elbuchoreply
lemmy.world

I mean, would you? First of all, it's far simpler to just do a ctrl-f on various keywords, like "couch", "sofa", or wink wink "LOVEseat". Secondly, they don't make nearly enough money to willingly poison their minds reading that absolute garbage.

6

That's what I found funny about it. It's something that could have been resolved in an instant of people said either "Yes, it's on page whatever whatever," or "We just read it, and no, it's not there." It took longer to resolve because of how few people have read it recently, or were willing to read it now.

2
lemmy.ml

i feel like im out of the loop on this one

7
lemmy.ca

Some dude presented JD Vance original biography where he said he fucked a couch, it was then discredited, then more evidence was presented then discredited. But soon JD outes himself for googling Dolphin, women, fuck on Twitter. So dudes into some kinky shit.

25
lemmy.world

Would you mind clarifying whether he googled "dolphin", "women", and "fuck" separately or if it was in one search term? One doesn't mean anything and one is really creepy

6
lemmy.ca

So he made a tweet of a screen shot like "that's enough internet" and it was like a video of a dolphin having sex with a women. The highlighted words on the screen were dolphin, women, sex. Meaning he googled something with those keywords combined. I'm sure he didn't google "Women not having sex" with a dolphin..

16
kintherreply
lemmy.world

Ok so that in itself is weird. Let's also remember these project 2025 people want to ban pornography everywhere, so it could be him trying to find an example of extreme porn to be like "look at the stuff your children can find!"

4

Reminds me when we were at my nephews 9th birthday party and he wanted to show us all something in YouTube on his Xbox and the last three items in his search history were "boobs" "girl boobs" and "big girl boobs".

Kid learned an important lesson that day.

4
lemmy.zip

it just seems like not a big deal in comparison to everything else happening

ive done way weirder stuff

idk i feel bad making fun about this

-3

ive done way weirder stuff

Well now you need to share about the stuff you did that's weirder than fucking a couch with an inside-out latex glove between the cushions.

5