Spyke

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Anon measures up

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but:

Do not take dating advice from people who never dated.

Do not take relationship advice from people who never had a relationship.

Do not take sex advice from people who never fucked.

And especially do none of these things on 4chan.

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Chinese activist who mocked Xi Jinping flees to South Korea on jet ski, arrested

South Korea's coastguard said Tuesday it had arrested a Chinese national who tried to enter the country after travelling by jet ski from China -- a journey of more than 300 kilometres (186 miles).

Wearing a life vest and helmet, the man crossed the Yellow Sea on a 1800-cc jet ski from Shandong province, using binoculars and a compass to navigate and towing five barrels of fuel.

"He refilled the petrol on the ride and dumped the empty barrels into the sea," the coastguard said in a press release.

That’s actually pretty badass.

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Joe Biden ends re-election campaign

That’s why I’m never gonna cancel my USA subscription. Your shows always have a crazy twist right before the season finale.

Jokes aside: Not a single person who even considers voting for Trump is worth any hassle. Their vote is a coin flip on fucking acid. The dems should try to animate the lazy nonvoting pricks.

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Elmo is on fire

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Ehm. I thought this was just some fake tweet. Didn’t know he got hacked. It can’t be that bad?

::: spoiler Spoiler Background On July 13th, 2025, the official @Elmo X[1] account posted at least three tweets that were deemed controversial and antisemitic. The first reads, "Kill all Jews." The second reads, "RELEASE THE FILES @realDonaldTrump CHILD FUCKER," referring to the Epstein files. The third reads, "Elmo says ALL JEWS SHOULD DIE. FUCK JEWS. DONALD TRUMP IS NETANYAHU'S PUPPET BECAUSE HE IS IN THE EPSTEIN FILES. JEWS CONTROL THE WORLD AND NEED TO BE EXTERMINATED." :::

Oh. Oh no.

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Anon is worried about men

I assume years of collectively crying about it online has made something as simple and natural like dating seem like this unachievable task.

Not sure if it’s just me, but I feel like young people are less capable than ever to socialise. I thought I was a social pariah, but I don’t have shit on some people out there.