Cop: do you know why I pulled you over?

Me: fuck. Is it because I'm ugly as fuck? Third time this month.

gets shot for not complying

Don't know if it's these "AI cameras", but my garbage company started uploading videos of my "violations" to their portal to justify charging me more (bin was open a few inches a couple times). They have video of them picking up the bin (showing my car plates and house in the back), and also of the bin contents from another camera after they dump it into the truck.

I can only assume they're working on the "threw a non-recyclable item in recycle bin" logic so they can charge more protect the environment.

Hide yo guns, that turtle has opposible thumbs

Is getting hit by a truck really the end? Or just the beginning?

Isekai genre: Allow me to introduce myself.

Anime cat that turns girls into magical girls and dooms them forever or something https://madoka.fandom.com/wiki/Kyubey

Purrito*

Or that one "System of a Down" Zelda song

👀

How'd you sell the same phone 4 times? Did you tie a string to it and pulled it back after the transaction was done??

From the thumbnail I thought they were flinging a kid off of a giant slingshot D:

Home girl checking how many street passes she's gotten!

Cool minecraft build!

I think Patches could help me achieve some of my goals.

The picture made me assume anon was a girl, so I was thinking that if you, a girl, hear another girl say she wants a man, and you offer your womanly services, it shouldn't come as a big shock to be rejected and laughed out of the room... Then I read the comments and thought "oh. Yeah. That makes more sense."

Assumptions ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

I missed one news cycle, what's the relationship between JD and Viktor?

No items, Fox only, Final Destination.

Is that the guy from The Apprentice?

Your earbuds look like they're using the Mexico Movie Filter IRL 😅

Then explain the right sock, nerdddddddd

If he was going to commit crimes against humanity anyways, why not just use the fucking empty can of spam sitting right there (and chase it with a bite of spam)?