I don't like the headline. He has a name, you know, and it's Alex O'keefe.

When I was in the Navy, a dude kept eating my fucking chips and salsa. It was a small work center, we all knew whose shit was whose in our tiny fridge. So one day I put really fucking hot hot sauce in my salsa and left it in the fridge. Motherfucker has the gall to get pissed at me like I'm the asshole. He didn't eat my salsa again after that.

If you have to advertise that you're an alpha male, you're not an alpha male.

Yeah, but who would wanna live there?

Release the Epstein files.

Not quieter, no, but the memes are all gone now. It's just "This is how fucked the world is" now. I miss the funny memes.

Yes, YouTube is absolute shit without extensions.

Even though I live what I do, getting paid is literally the only reason I go to work. If they did not pay me, I would not go.

Fuck Thor.

She goes to another school. You don't know her.

Just make some shit up. You worked at McDonald's in East Hanover New Jersey in 1976. You made $24 per hour and you approved of the CEO.

Release the Epstein files.

Thanks for banging me, kind stranger.

Bro, we in or almost in out 40s.

Yes. Uncle Thomas wants a new cabin.

New trucks only have high beams and higher beams.

Didn't work for me. Had to add && sudo reboot

"I'm telling Mom!!!"

...until you press up one too many times and enter the same command but with a typo. Again.

NGL, getting profiled as a tender tongue is pretty fucking annoying. The only thing worse than no spice is mild spice.