me avoiding preparing for a job interview I really wish I hadn’t seen this or that I were out of q-tips.

$8 trillion so far

I’m house trained and I would never puke on a rug. Please adopt me.

I would like to subscribe to additional funny pigeon anecdotes

I don’t like how put that thing back where it came from or so help me 🎶 just pooped into my head.

🍄🍄

Part of not specifying at work is also because I’m curious what I’m perceived to be. I don’t get those data points if I go giving any hints out.

Green is my first thought, but blue would be acceptable.

All anyone’s getting out of me is that I’m ABAB. (assigned baby at birth)

Mood

Um…dog tax? Pay up friendo.

This won’t pass (not now anyway) but it’s funny they want to ban the bible. Or they’re too dumb to realize that implication.

He’s streets ahead

Now, I may have recently consumed some cannabinoids but those are Pokémon and nobody can cmv.

Can confirm anecdotally. Have a Harry Potter tattoo from when I was 18, am trans. Only one of them I regret and it’s not transitioning.

I wish I believed you. I try to keep my defeatism to myself but the overwhelming majority of people around me IRL are going around like nothing is happening, ignoring current events in the name of self care. Must be fucking nice.

I’m a trans guy and I joke about how I’m only doing it to not get talked over in meetings so this rings plausible.

Oh yeah, good call. Shit.

It’s too bad most lab coats are at least 50% polyester. They are definitely still tie-dyeable at even just 35% cotton but it’ll come out pastel.

And there probably would have been cool rocks.