My child is 6. I have them do 10-20 min of guided reading daily, meaning I sit with them and help where needed. They read mostly on their own though. I started because school was basically not teaching anything and giving half assed explanations why not.

How much do you do? Wondering if I'm an asshole parent 😅

Parents of Lemmy, looking for insights and advice.

My 4 year old started kindergarten this year and up until now everything has been going great. He's been fully toilet trained since he was 2.5 and hasn't had so much as an accident since then.

Last week he peed in his pants, then again Monday and Tuesday this week. I asked him if something as going on and he kept kind of brushing me off like he was embarrassed so I'd drop it and just move on while keeping a close eye.

Last night he told he's been seeing other kids penises in school and he doesn't like to use the bathroom because of it. He went on to name 3 different boys and 1 girl who he's seen in the bathroom at school. There's a single bathroom in the classroom, just a room with 1 toilet and a sink. From how he tells it, he'll be in the bathroom and the teachers aid will bring in another kid who needs their diaper changed, and he'll see them getting changed and they'll see him going to the bathroom.

From day 1 we always made sure he knew that no one was supposed to see or touch his private spots, and even made a stigma of me and my wife touching him down there once he was old enough to do everything himself. A few months ago we had to put a cream on him down there for an unrelated medical thing, and we made it a point to not do it in a private room and make it a hush hush thing, and instead I'd announce to my wife that i was applying the cream and we'd do it in the living room. He'd ask why we were doing it and I'd explain that the doctors needed us to do this for a little bit. So he's very aware that his penis is private and no one is to see it, and if anyone tries to he needs to tell us.

So he's very uncomfortable with this whole setup at school, he doesn't want others to see his stuff and doesn't want to see others, and there's no reason to, he doesn't need any help in the bathroom.

If this was a one time thing, say a kid had a bad accident and needed to get in there ASAP, sure that would make sense. But my son has said it's a reoccurring situation and it's causing him to have issues going to the bathroom.

Something I just realized while typing this. He stopped eating his lunch, we pack and the past week or two there's been a lot left in his lunchbox when he gets home. He's said a few times when I asked him why he didn't eat that he didn't want to have to poop, then eats a whole meal when he gets home. I chalked that up to him going through a phase since he goes back and forth between eating for an army and not eating much pretty frequently, but now I think it might be connected.

So parents, is this how kindergarten is? Is this something we just have to talk to him about and tell him he's gotta get used to it? This isn't like kids being kids and a kid did something inappropriate, it's the adults putting kids in a situation where they're exposed to other kids.

It's 2 teachers in a class of 15 which sounds like hell, but there's no way I can wrap my head around how this is appropriate.

We did send a message to his teacher explaining our concerns and asking if we could have a chat, in person or on the phone, and try to figure out what's going on, mentioning we weren't sure if this is normal protocol as to try and not come at her too hard since teachers do gods work. We got back a very dissatisfying generic "I appreciate your concern and will keep this in mind" email with no answer to any of our questions or really any indication that she even read the message.

I responded and asked for a proper conversation again a little more stern.

Did I miss the memo on this one?

This is not an article about politics, capital punishment or whether the Fort Hood shooter deserves to be executed in public for his crimes.

Instead, it’s focused on the unprecedented parental challenge of handling the near-certain prospect that children will hear of or see footage of the Dec. 3 U.S. execution by firing squad of Nidal Malik Hasan if the Trump administration follows through with plans to livestream the event.

The danger stretches beyond the broadcast itself, because history shows graphic video from the event could be clipped, copied and pushed into children’s social feeds even if the original stream is restricted.

Experts suggest that grownups who care about children start by setting aside matters of politics and public policy — like the Nov. 3 U.S. midterm elections and the debate over capital punishment. Focus instead on how witnessing someone’s death by firing squad might land with young viewers — and how best to reassure and protect them.

“If you want to hug a young lady, and she says no — what do you do?”

Utah father Alan Gilliam poses the question to his sons, aged nine and 11, in a video that has been making the rounds on social media in the wake of the Cornell 7 case.

“Take ‘no’ for an answer,” his older son replies. “Don’t keep pushing and pushing her – move on.”

Gilliam then asks them another question in direct reference to the alleged 2024 gang rape by seven members of the Chi Phi fraternity at Cornell University in Ithaca, New York, that has sparked nationwide outrage.

What would his sons do if they were in a group chat with “a bunch of other guys who said they wanted to do something wrong to a young lady” and nobody said anything?

“Tell them to stop right now,” says the nine-year-old. “Tell someone of higher authority and maybe someone with higher power who can stop what they are doing,” says the older son.

A 20-year study of 400,000 students found that children who attended public school pre-K earned better grades and test scores through high school than those in other childcare settings. Better-trained teachers and earlier exposure to structured classrooms may help explain why the advantage lasted so long.

Author: Codie C. Lavoie - Pediatric Neurologist and Sleep Specialist, University of Southern California

Caregivers often seek a specific age that their child can be left home alone. However, the neuroscience of brain development suggests that readiness depends on much more than a birthday.

The article is relatively short, so I didn't bother with a TLDR since I'd lose helpful info. If you want, here is a short checklist

This helped guide us on what foods and their shape our daughter could eat as she grew

Every parent’s nightmare 😱 what are your best tips for travelling with small children, to avoid something like that happening?

We currently just found Sleep Tight Science which is knowledge based and low sensory fun. It's neat because my kiddo is kinda absorbing knowledge while she rests.

Precious bedtime podcasts include:

• Ms. Honeybee (not my favorite, listened when they were 3~5)

• Circle Round (original hosts are starting new podcast)

• koala moon (short lived on our part. Not many free stories)

• super great kids stories (circle round vibes, kiddo was a little scared of some stories)

• stories to share (older kid reading books to younger kids. About 5~10 mins each depending on story)

I have a 5yo who has started saying 'i hate you mommy/daddy' when they are really upset.
Would you let that chill - they don't mean it they're just kids and just upset? Or try to curb that - set consequences for hurtful language?

I've got a (9 yr old) kid that loves the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series. But it's terrible. The main character is a terrible friend, and a poor role model. The character frequently calls people stupid or morons, makes fun of kids outside the norm, and has weird 90s views of how boys and girls interact.

Can anyone suggest a series that their kid enjoyed for a similar audience? Even better if there are lots of them.

I am M41 and have a son who is M6. I have posted before about how he is quite sensitive and cries a lot.

Whenever he cries, he will ask for TV to calm him down. I am wondering whether it is wise to give him TV. I worry lest he learn that the way to handle unpleasant emotions is to distract yourself from them with (relatively mindless) entertainment. That doesn't sound like a great emotion management habit... but on the other hand, it might be good enough at his age.

For example, today there was a miscommunication with a friend's family. He thought his friend was giving him some toys, which was apparently not what the other kid meant. When my little guy was told that he could not take the toys home, he cried for a while, and it took TV to calm him down.

I would like advice. Is it fine to give him TV when he cries? And what alternatives can you suggest?

Thanks in advance!

Short piece that recommends gentleness and trying to get ahead of the stressful moment (which frankly seems a bit idealized; I'd love to be able to see the future, but I'm not sure that's easy/reliable). They do make the point that:

Most of what helps a child “have a go” is built in to the everyday conversations at home, not on the morning of the event. It’s about gently setting expectations: that we don’t always have to win, be the best, or get it right, and that’s okay.

And end with:

The goal is a child who learns, over time and in small steps, that they can do hard things, and that being different from the child next to them is okay and a normal part of life.

One of those kinda-subtle policy things that seems to slip by communities.

I am M41. I have a son who is 5, almost 6. The little guy is quite sensitive and cries relatively easily:

• He hates having to wash his hands. Mom and I wash our hands right away when we come home from outside, and often after touching dirty things or before meals. He hates it. He often cries when asked to wash his hands, sometimes for 10 minutes or more. Saying "we also do it" does not help. Washing his hands for him does not help. I asked him what are the worst things about washing hands, but he could not elaborate.
• One day recently, when I took him home from daycare (it was around 16 in the afternoon), he asked me to play with him. I said: "I need to empty the dishwasher first; then I will come play with you." He broke down and cried until I finished my housework and came to play with him.
• He wants Mom to put him to sleep every night. If my wife is out and he has to go to sleep with me, he sometimes cries himself to sleep. I have not found anything I can do that helps.

Whenever he cries or is otherwise in the grip of negative emotions, I try to be as supportive as I can without encouraging it. I talk softly to him, hug him if he wants it, stay close to him if he wants it, and go away if he wants that. I try to praise him when he DOES manage to calm himself down, and NOT reward him for throwing tantrums.

When he cries he often asks to watch TV. I try to avoid letting him watch TV to calm down, but once in a while I cave in and give him TV.

All these things have always been problems, but it seems to me that these behaviours have grown worse this last half year. Do you have any advice?

Thanks in advance!

Is there anything you do that helps summer go smoothly or feel happier and calmer?

The OG Linda Belcher (he's really the voice)

I am M41 and have a 5-year-old son.

Recently I asked in another parenting forum: "At what age can I teach a child to speak nicely even when in a bad mood?"

A couple of people told me that it is important to model emotion handling so that the child can see how the parent handles difficult emotions. This makes me ponder: How do I do this in a visible manner? How can my son tell the difference between "Dad acts calm while experiencing a difficult emotion" and "Dad acts calm while experiencing no emotions"?

I strongly suspect that the distiction is not easily visible. I have done Buddhist-inspired self-improvement practices these last 3 years, and in my own opinion my emotion regulation has improved vastly. But my wife does not seem to notice or appreciate this; it appears that she mostly only sees those rare occasions where I lose my temper and not the many occasions where I remain calm in spite of emotions. If my emotion handling is invisible to her, how can I expect the little guy to pick up on it and learn to emulate it?

How did you find each other? Do you think it makes parenting better? What keeps you together?