Blowjobs over overrated
Yeah I said it! The sensation is mid. It's Mid! The orfice is 90% bone structure and has razors at the opening. Most people can't even open their jaw wide enough to avoid scraping you. The fascination people have with it is visual, but don't get me started on that. You know what else?
Gargle noises sound like gargling. They're less than mid! Imagine asking to hear bgbhfbfhgbbghgbhbbggbggbbgbggggggg instead of having sex. Like, bro they can't breath! That is the miniature pug of sex acts.
Blowjobs are a psyop by Big Blowjob to make you have dumber sex. 69 is alright though because at least then they moan on ur dick which does feel pretty elite. But it has a height requirement, like the rollercoaster.
95 replies
The best thing about getting a blowjob from my wife is how much it turns her on.
This opinion sucks.
It also blows.
I used to have a dick and I completely agree with you. They are great fun to give though.
Will comment back when I actually experience it. If I never comment back then you know what happened.
I read this and can hear the grapefruit
Plus then you losin weight!
grapefruiting is superior IMO
This is touch as how popular it is is completely dependent on how good a blow job one has gotten in their life.
Op's either low-key bragging about being girthzilla, or he's never been with anyone thats reached puberty, with his whole "cant even stop the teeth from scraping you" spiel.
or they just don't actually want to blow him. oops. may bad. oops. darn teeth.
Granted, I don't have the equipment to enjoy blowjob more than enjoying my partners enjoyment, but I do not (and neither does he) understand the glug glug glug thing they do in porn. That is not a real blowjob sound, or at least I have never needed to make a glug glug noise, maybe a slurp or a accidental gag, but no glugs and certainly not glugs you can heard from next door.
A lot of it's letting air escape through one's lips and gasping. The suction at that point is entirely for show, but most of it is.
I know how they do it, I can make that noise right now with no dick in my mouth. I just don't understand why it SO prevalent in porn, like even tame porn has glugjobs now.
my sides
I think it's been long enough, I'll say it. Most porn is obsessed with domination. A lot of people live in sex-hating culture so being sexual requires a context like domination or questionable consent or familial taboo in order to give puritans (or the inexperienced) permission to feel sexual. It's a Christian country thing.
By contrast back in the 80's our porn had a lot of employment settings and monetary transactions. There were blowjobs too but the emphasis was elsewhere.
Completely unnecessary. Ideally there is more tongue action and less... whatever is happening there
Porn has really done a number on people
Some people are just really bad at it. That would be the only reason I could see myself holding this opinion. Having said that, BJ's used to feel better to me when I was younger. Still very much like them though, unless they're bad which is not all that often ime
My gf goes crazy on that thing and I love all the noises and gasping and breathing, this is a hell of a bad take OP
Hold onto her friend, she's a keeper
Downvoted because I agree, mostly. 69 were they only use their tongue and don’t try to suck your whole body out through the urethra, is pretty fucking great.
People take advantage of this sub.
Should I tally the replies? So far it's pretty unpopular
It’s purposely unpopular. It’s like saying:
“I’m a huge fan of testicular cancer!”
Enjoy the karma, even though it was effortless- it was earned.
Hey, I'm open minded to the idea I did it wrong. I didn't really use this comm or the sub before when I was on reddit. Show me how to do it right
Wait- you don't think I was serious? I wasn't lying I actually really dislike being given blowjobs
I strenuously disagree but that’s what this community is for, good post OP.
To be fair I don’t like gargling/gagging noises either.
Yea, only gagging noises I've heard during bjs are in porn not rl. Agreed they're a turnoff.
I once heard a very enthusiastic gargle from the next door cubical at a dive bar.
Sounded like fun.
If gargling sounds like laughing, I've definitely heard it irl.
God that was an epic self own. I'm going to steal that for use later.
I was about to say "maybe I'm not big enough to choke on". But his comment wins.
So categorical no, it feels great. That being said, I will say that the current porn direction for blowjobs is really gross. Most blowjob videos seem to be about make it as uncomfortable and painful as possible for the girl. I feel like I'm watching bdsm most of the time.
I think OP has not yet had a good blowjob.
I wasn't going to go there because there's a culture divide on that, but yeah. There's empowering blowjobs and there's disempowering blowjobs. Both of valid but one is becoming culturally ubiquitous.
I've had blowjobs from 3 different girls, how they do it and their passion makes it feel completely different. Also deep throat feels amazing.
69 is better than a blow job? Repent my brother in Christ, 69 is both distracting for giving oral and recieving oral at the same time.
Nay, brethren! I profess it is holy in His sight to grasp their cheeks and sup upon the clit until they singeth all His glories upon thy rod and shaft. Listen not to this orthodoxy for we have forgotten the taste of heaven!
not really. the angle is bad. oral sex is mostly about tongue.
I respectfully disagree. But I acknowledge that everything you said can be true. That also means what you said can be wrong. It’s all about the delivery.
Strong no on all counts. Imagine arguing that getting your cock slobbered on is mid.
Sounds like you've just had terrible blowjobs.
You would think but they were by people who felt pretty proud of their blowjob skills. During the act I thought "yeah this is exactly how it's portrayed in porn. There's even that weird cheek thing, man I wish we were fucking or 69ing instead"
But the one I was closest to enjoying was by somebody who was otherwise pretty inexperienced at sex and so they weren't trying to do all the superficial things that people associate with skillful blowjobs.
Porn sex is sex that looks good it is not always sex that feels good. You should not use porn to judge if the sex you are physically having is good.
This is the end all beat all of the issue. Porn is straight up dogshit. Except mine. Only I can claim good porn.
Being proud of your skills and actually being skilled are two different things.
Good point. I guess I didn't see a reason to not take their word for it or just compare it to how it looks in porn. Porn sex is famously bad sex though.
Good head is actually throat and tounge play. It requires the receiving partner to manage breath control and works best from only a few angles. A good sub can suck for 15+ minutes any you won't feel a tooth. I still prefer actual sex over head since I can be a lot more active of a participant.
Probably. I talked up the sensation in my post for autism considerations and comedy but I also just get uncomfortable in the sexual role of only asymmetrically receiving pleasure. I'm all
Upvote for a truly unpopular opinion
I mostly disagree, but this line:
...had me laughing out loud in the doctor's waiting room.
I'm sorry you've never had a good blowjob. There should be no scraping, it doesn't require jaw width as much as technique. Also the being unable to breathe is part of the turn on, if you're into BDSM. I love it when my partner holds my head down to prevent me from coming up for air, and she loves that gesture of domination. It's less about the sensation for us, and more about an act of service and submission. To each their own.
As someone who's getting jaw surgery soon because both my jaws are recessed and I usually need kids sized dental tools, it absolutely requires a minimum amount of jaw space🥲
It's the spirit that counts. You're a trooper in my eyes
Jokes side I admit I am embarrassingly unkinky. I made so much emphasis on the sensation to distract from how I just don't personally like powerplay.
The real redpill is that most normal people enjoy it and kink is valid.
I get not being into powerplay and whatnot but for me it's more that I want my partner to want to please me just because they want to.
I love blowjobs to a frustrating degree (I don't get them often) but it's never been about power. More about lust.
Either way great post this is a true unpopular opinion 👍
I stand with you! Overrated. They’re fun enough but the sensation itself just doesn’t do it for me.
You don’t have to brag like that
I'm not, I'm hung like an albino rat. Jaw clearance is just overrepresented in the Blowjob Industrial Complex
This is a good unpopular opinion. I'm with you on this one. Here's a little secret: all bodies are different. I think the vast majority of penises are very sensitive and bjs work great. Some of us have less sensitive penises or the sensitivity is such that bjs aren't stellar.
I'm a bit of a demisexual man whore so I've had a lot of different partners with different traits and body types. A wider variety than most, I'd say. I've had a lot of women who pride themselves on their bj skills, but for many if not most, it's unearned pride. It's basically like being born rich and thinking you made your own way. They did not develop a technique or skillset, they had a mouth and were willing. Since most guys cum easily from oral, I'm sure they feel very skilled.
I take forever to orgasm, even masturbating. I've had many partners just tap out from PIV or anal due to sensitivity or orgasm fatigue and I end up having to finish myself or just got used to being unfulfilled. I've only met a couple of women who can give head, vigorously, for long periods of time. And face fucking, if they can take it very hard for very long, it's inevitably going to end with your penis just polishing enamel at certain velocities.
That all said, they're still enjoyable. But I'd much rather oral be a pleasant very submissive gesture on their part, or a way for them to really familiarize themself with your body (it's good bonding). But I get to PIV or PIA as quickly as I can.
Real talk this is kind of how I determined I've always been ace.
Completely incomprehensible ace rant here but after the first blowjob I had basically the same thought but, like, is anyone having fun here? Sex feels great, ideally there's lots of opportunity for mutual satisfaction there, but oral is like, one person gradually getting sore/frustrated while the other person wonders what the pussy's gonna be like later. I've had a variety of blowjobs but even the one girl who said that's just how she likes to spend an afternoon, who I totally believe, made it pretty one sided when she was like "no seriously you can read or something".
And of course to be totally contrarian I do like eating girls out but there is a point where it's like, okay, yeah, we should switch it up. It's fun and intimate but if it isn't a pleasant way to draw out the activity then why bother?
And yeah lotta years in ace denial. Pretty sure it was less of a sex drive and more like a special interest.
Also valid. As a picky sexer I can see why some people just wouldn't have ANY of the preferences that make them interested in sex. We really discount how sapient sex is, that's why kink gets so overlooked and misrepresented let alone asexuality.
Yeah I think early on a lot of it was subconscious, like, neither of you know what you're doing and you don't have the framework for feedback, or are terrified of confrontation and withdrawal so you just never say anything you just go 'uh huh, yeah' when prompted.
Then there's the mixed experience period where one of you might get mad because the other peraon clearly isn't interested or able to reciprocate the amount of involvement when you get invested.
Then when you're really aware and not completely blindsighted by horniness there's a very 'oh, hey, there's like, reasons and means here I hadn't considered.' God help you if your retrospective experiences don't make you cringe yourself inside out at that point.
Not for you. That's fine.
Most people seem to disagree with you. I'm interested in hearing from those who agree.
Height requirement for 69? My wife is a foot shorter than me and we don't have any issues.
But I hard disagree with the opinion. Good BJs are almost better than sex, although it sounds like you might not have had a good one yet.
You don't have to crane your neck? Perks of wife sex are you get lots of practice with the same partner I've always had alignment issues. Also many people get put off by the prospect of gooch in their face, but I agree it's the bee's knees.
I just use a pillow, although I've been meaning to get a yoga block for the purpose.
Dang, my last partner had one of those but we never tried it. The height difference there was like multiple feet though so I don't know how much it would have helped
Am I the only one to never had a bj in my life ? 😥
I see people say this or similar sometimes so I'm confident that you aren't the only one. Not everyone likes giving a blowjob so it happens if you don't talk about it. What i have found is that unless giving oral is a limit for someone, if you give oral on them first then it's a great way to get them to reciprocate. I find a lot of men never give oral either when they say they've never had a blowjob or that they don't get them enough. The answer is obvious imo.
So if you don't regularly eat your wife out then make plans to. And ask her about giving a blowjob.
Also, hygiene is important. always shower directly before receiving a blowjob. If you smell like swamp ass down there then that's a great way to turn off someone from wanting to give oral again. Also shaving your balls and shaft help too.
Tldr: if you want oral then give oral regularly, and clean/shave yo' dick.
Some people have sex late. Don't sweat it king, it's not a contest
Bro, I'm 40.
Still not joking. Human connection is a series of fucked up dice rolls. I only got mine because I was in the right place at the wrong time and somebody there had very low standards. The bar is currently in hell, so it's a great time to join running or reading clubs
😆 "very low standard" I like your honesty.
I have a wife and a kid but she is not very ... original in bed (the wife, not the kid !). At least I had the chance to met someone. I got a friend that never had a girlfriend. Not a single time. We don't understand why, he is a nice guy, athletic, have a good job, but no. Still alone, more and more depressed because of this. Never been hugged, never been kissed by anyone.
I'm really upset that "incel" became a pejorative term associated to toxic masculinity. Some people are really involuntary celibates without behind a dick.
My mistake. But, hey this is a niche topic of mine too! Incel used to be a pretty different culture. They were mostly women back in the day.
Yeah sounds like your wife might be of the same mind as me. Some marriages be like that. I'm sure I'd have to settle down with a partner too who can be okay with only ever receiving head. I'm saying though, it's actually more fun to go down on a lady than have her go down on you
Don't feel bad. You're not the only virgin in their 30s or 40s, so don't get all up in your head about it. We live in lonely times.
Have you honestly been putting yourself out there socially?
(And I mean going out and seeing people and doing things... Not just signing up for a couple of apps.) Even if it's just with friends, you have to put in some effort to be social and expose yourself to at least the possibility of building relationships.
If apps are bad for you or your mental health, then be creative and look for alternative ways.
Also, are your expectations and standards realistic?
You don't have to settle for someone or something you don't want, obviously. But it's important to give people a chance and to accept that whoever you meet isn't going to be a 1:1 manifestation of your dream person.
Don't worry, I have a wife and a kid, even if I still don't really understand how I managed to get her. I'm neurodivergent with social anxiety and I was lucky enough to find a weirdo like me in university. She has hormonal disfunction with very low libido. This create some tensions, but we find balance elsewhere in our life.
I still hope to be able to afford one someday
I have never had a blowjob but I agree because I have a fleshlight that is supposedly imitating blowjob experience and it sucks
Ok, and I have a wet/dry shop vac. What's your point?
Bjs are overrated
Shouldn't it?
That's the joke but nvm
Yeah, it sucks
Honestly, given that jaw clearance comment, I'd love the opportunity to prove you wrong, and if you don't like it, I gotta'nother option for ya
👈👈😉 you missed the one farther down where I said "hung like albino rat" and the other one where I admitted to being a very boring lay
Frankly? Still probably wouldn't be my worst night :p
Also, are we talking literal albino rat sized, or proportionally albino rat sized?
Frankly, either way. All dicks are fun
Fair enough 😂 I appreciate body positivity.
It's whichever size is funnier
Hard disagree. (pun intended)
There's so much more a tongue can do than other areas of a person's body.
So a straight bj is 5/10 but a hummer is 10/10? You got a peculiar dick my friend
Most likely. "Hummer" though, that's a great word!
Next time ask her to hum the national anthem while she’s doing it. No shame in this game
Lolololol you're RIGHT! we just need to create a new consensus on what good blowjobs are. I can do that from the ground floor!
I suggest trying to hook up with a Russian girl. Hymn To Red October is a banger, and it’s pretty long
I meant I would give people the blowjobs that I want to receive 😂
Get crackin!