Make one yourself out of 2 sticks and a bit of rope. To rule out the possibility of the amulet just being magical and having nothing to do with any deity.
No, but I'd definitely put that necklace on anyway. Not like the baby knew anything about religion, but it still worked for him; should work for me, too.
you're trying to shoot an indestructible christian baby
I really want to know why I would be trying to shoot said baby in the first place. Is it the antichrist? Am I being blackmailed? Is this some sick bet?
The funniest part is that this hypothetical really boils down to "What if we had any evidence that what we believe is true?" Well fucking duh, that's literally our whole issue.
I mean... Why did the God not protect the baby anymore? Is the crucifix a required magic catalyst or something to get Gods protection? Do we have any known cases where the catalyst was not needed?
I think I'm closer to solving the riddle of Gods power...
Yeah and how do you know it's not "the devil's" necklace or some demon or god isn't real and it's all demons. With religious logic you have nothing real to stand on to test reality.
While wearing the necklace, can the baby fly? Does it have sharp teeth and can lunge incredible distances with serious force?
If they are leaving out this bit of information, it doesn’t help the argument whatsoever.
Okay, but no joke, if removing a crucifix suddenly allowed me to turn a previously indestructible baby into red mist, I think there might be a god and he might have had a plan or foresight into this whole boondoggle
I haven't build my identity around not believing in gods. Show me compelling evidence and I'll reconsider. Shotgun pellets bouncing off a baby would definitely offer food for thought.
I'd probably start believing in magic necklaces. Then I'd start down a dangerous path of experimentation to test the limits of the necklace's invulnerability enchantment.
the question is designed to trick anyone who engages with it into conceding that they would shoot a baby, and then they can turn around and say "atheists want to shoot babies"
I’d dislike a god even more choosing to allow such a test to proceed. It’s a variant on the “Trolley Problem”.
What kind of god would sacrifice an infant to prove belief instead of just popping in with a booming voice and saying “Yes, I’m real you morons!” to prove it?
Nobody goes out trying to shoot indestructible christian babies with a shotgun. They're indestructible and shells cost money.
Is having the cross forcefully removed supposed to make the baby no longer christian, indestructible, or "christian indestructible" (and if so, what's that?)?
Would converting therefore involve or require equipping the amulet I've looted off the now dead baby? And if so, will I lose my christian indestructibility if I take it off?
In essence, would you change your religion if it gave an attunement bonus to something you wore (and perhaps have looted off a murdered faithful)?
Tbf, it'd be worth the shitload in church tax I'd then have to pay... if it worked. Which is the trouble with these religious relics anyway, eh?
I’d need to put the talisman on an animal, and on an inanimate object, to confirm if the power is faith-based, or intrinsic.
If it’s intrinsic, it’d test if the amulet itself is indestructible, to see if it can be sent to the center of the Earth so our planet becomes indestructible.
But the amulet wasn't at the center of the baby to make it indestuctible. More likely you'd need to put it on a chain which ran around the circumference of the Earth.
Anything touching the amulet becomes indestructible. If the amulet laid on the ground, mining operations around the world would be suddenly halted as their drills and picks and shovels and explosives no longer could damage the earth.
What about stuff like hair or dead skin cells? If I wear a crucifix, can I use a shotgun to shave and exfoliate my legs at the same time? Because holy moly, they shoulda led with that
Nothing about that cruel suggestion makes any sense. Why did it need to a baby, why can't it be trying to shoot the idiot making this insane suggestion who volunteers to wear a necklace and be shot.
Counter-offer: same scenario to the ignorant Christian who is shit-posting, but the necklace is of Ra, the Egyptian Sun God. Let's see if he would convert. Moron.
Well, there was the global flood that killed most life on the planet. Or was that just allegory?
How about these?
1 Samuel 15:
3 Now go and strike Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and don’t spare them; but kill both man and woman, infant and nursing baby, ox and sheep, camel and donkey.’”
Hosea 13:
16 Samaria will bear her guilt,
for she has rebelled against her God.
They will fall by the sword.
Their infants will be dashed in pieces,
and their pregnant women will be ripped open.”
Numbers 31:
17 Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman who has known man by lying with him.
It was arguably worse for the girls:
18 But all the girls, who have not known man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves.
And of course, 2 Kings 2:
23 He went up from there to Bethel. As he was going up by the way, some youths came out of the city and mocked him, and said to him, “Go up, you baldy! Go up, you baldy!” 24 He looked behind him and saw them, and cursed them in Yahweh’s name. Then two female bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of those youths.
You have to do more troubleshooting first, like backing up to widen your spread first to see if the shot leaves a baby shaped outline in a sacrificial background target.
Maybe use multiple boxes of ammo, different brands, different shotguns, etc.
You don't take an opportunity to prove the existence of a god and just whip the necklace off as step two.
If I was ever in a situation I pointed a gun at a baby, it wouldn't be the baby getting shot. There is no way I could wake up each day knowing I ever did that.
I've heard anecdotes of soldiers having a bullet stopped by a medkit, field manual, or other fortuitous kit they kept in their pockets. With enough bullets fired and enough soldiers wearing crosses there must have been at least one who had a hefty enough cross in just the right place to catch a bullet which would otherwise have been fatal.
It’s almost like they’re getting it. Yes, fools, if I was shown direct evidence for your imaginary friend in the sky, I might conclude that they do in fact exist. Bring out the babies and the shotguns, by all means.
They're not Christian. They have no knowledge of that god. If they don't know what the god concept is in general, they can't have an idea or opinion on it. Literally what the -ism suffix means in a word; theism,.monotheism, polytheism, atheism, pantheism, autotheism. Unfortunately, in time, they will be taught, but until then, get better with a shotgun or wait for the choking hazard around its neck.
Or how about you just have this god person you’re so fond of, come on down and shake my hand and then show me how he smites the wicked as he’s done so many times in that book you carry around? Worried you might be on the smite list? Im pretty sure I’m not…
No one wants to kill a baby or eat a baby or just hurt a baby in any way. My goal in life is to get that kid giggling so hard they hiccup.
Which, considering how much I hate it when people
Post their baby’s photos, I don’t actually hate this use of ai.
(Seriously. Do not post your kids photos. Even teenagers. Besides the creeps out there, you’ve got companies siphoning it up and using it for their own gain.)
So the crucifix is required to remove the necklace.. Is it like also a key, does it have a hidden actuator only a specially tuned NFC tag can operate? Is it just straight up magic?
Also am I back in time and the baby is the one who wrote that question? Because I'd rather raise the kid to not be a dumbass instead.
136 replies
No I don't think that I will.
It's that "I'd commit murder if it wasn't illegal" mentality. Like "O RLY!?"
In order to verify that this wasn't a coincidence, I would need to repeat the experiment on multiple babies.
Verification is proof and proof denies faith.
That's not how the magic sky man deal works.
Okay, that's great Jesus, but I'm still going to need to poke you in the spear hole before I buy this Third Day Resurrection bullshit.
Brand new sentence.
Saint Thomas has lemmy? Fuck.
Poke... With what?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doubting_Thomas
I figured you'd say you'd use your underpants weevil.
😏
I like the Tim Minchin line from Storm.
Science changes its position based on what's observed. Faith is the denial of observed truth so that belief can be preserved.
If you're shooting because you think there's something to the rumor you heard, then that's verification. So you lose.
If you're shooting for some other reason, wtf? That should itself put you on the bad list.
What if you went back in time and the baby is Hitler?
Then you either allow someone more sane to do worse in the power vacuum, or you get killed by another time traveler trying to prevent that.
Jesus is fine with giving proof if you need it, he'll just be disappointed you didn't trust him bro.
He should have done a better job then.
And use multiple crosses.
Make one yourself out of 2 sticks and a bit of rope. To rule out the possibility of the amulet just being magical and having nothing to do with any deity.
We would also need to test this across various age ranges.
No, but I'd definitely put that necklace on anyway. Not like the baby knew anything about religion, but it still worked for him; should work for me, too.
Cast it into the fire! Destroy it!
No.
Isildooooor!!
No. I'd just wear the cross to become invincible.
This is good news. I can be a bee. I can live like a pet. I can live for 30 years.
I really want to know why I would be trying to shoot said baby in the first place. Is it the antichrist? Am I being blackmailed? Is this some sick bet?
What do Christians think atheists spend their time doing?
Asking questions. The most vile of sins.
Plotting to murder babies obviously. Post-birth abortions are a thing according to Fox News...no /s
Shooting babies?
Satanic orgies, drugs, dancing and other fun stuff.
Funny how they keep relying on impossible hypotheticals.
Isn't that, like, the whole book?
It's mostly fanfic of previous theocratic writings and random ramblings
The funniest part is that this hypothetical really boils down to "What if we had any evidence that what we believe is true?" Well fucking duh, that's literally our whole issue.
At least they kinda framed it as a scientific experiment with verifiable evidence! Utterly bunkers aside from that.
Needs a Christian to even come up with the idea to shoot at a baby....
They get weirdly intricate with their baby death fantasies
I mean... Why did the God not protect the baby anymore? Is the crucifix a required magic catalyst or something to get Gods protection? Do we have any known cases where the catalyst was not needed?
I think I'm closer to solving the riddle of Gods power...
Lack of object permanence. The baby stopped being a Christian when the crucifix was gone
The entire bible is about a Father who says "Look at what you made me do!"
On the other hand, the devil never really did anything bad.
What do you mean he didn't do anything bad?!?!? He convinced some chick to steal an apple. That's like in the top 3 worst things you can ever do.
She didn't do anything bad. The apple didn't belong to anyone.
The whole story is about God gaslighting them to believe that they should be punished for violating arbitrary rules.
Yeah and how do you know it's not "the devil's" necklace or some demon or god isn't real and it's all demons. With religious logic you have nothing real to stand on to test reality.
That depends, if I shoot the baby and they die immediately, as if they took a shotgun blast to the face, would you become an atheist?
I think I'd be convicted of assisted murder...
wouldnt it be the anti-christ, since hes technically indestructible. jesus can be killed by normal humans.
He wasn't wearing a crucifix
::: spoiler spoiler Around his neck I mean :::
In roman Palestine, the crucifix wears you!
Ok you won
Maybe don't shoot the baby?
Literally impossible without having Jesus in your hearts.
Instructions unclear, several latino men stuck inside me
While wearing the necklace, can the baby fly? Does it have sharp teeth and can lunge incredible distances with serious force? If they are leaving out this bit of information, it doesn’t help the argument whatsoever.
Next you say a baby is not allowed to lunge incredible distances or have sharp teeth?
If baby follows rules, baby don’t get shot.
Exactly. Be nice and the baby won't hurt you.
What if baby try and steal from you via crypto scam?
Nothing scarier that someone who believes in shit they can't see that encourages them to be violent.
What happens when the baby turns to red mist? Is that just "part of God's plan"?
Okay, but no joke, if removing a crucifix suddenly allowed me to turn a previously indestructible baby into red mist, I think there might be a god and he might have had a plan or foresight into this whole boondoggle
"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." - Arthur C. Clarke
You're too eagerly jumping to conclusions.
What if the cross just emits a baby-shaped forcefield?
Just because the amulet of protection in the shape of a crucifix doesn't mean it has anything to do with god. Wizards are mischievous.
Yeah, put that shit on before the fuzz arrives.
Wtf??
Why would I be shooting a baby with a shot gun?
I'm an evil atheist, but Christians want to shoot babies with shot guns. Seems legit.
I haven't build my identity around not believing in gods. Show me compelling evidence and I'll reconsider. Shotgun pellets bouncing off a baby would definitely offer food for thought.
It's christians who kill babies. Gaza, Iran, and the grandaddy of them all-the Oklahoma Federal Building.
I'd probably start believing in magic necklaces. Then I'd start down a dangerous path of experimentation to test the limits of the necklace's invulnerability enchantment.
the question is designed to trick anyone who engages with it into conceding that they would shoot a baby, and then they can turn around and say "atheists want to shoot babies"
I’d dislike a god even more choosing to allow such a test to proceed. It’s a variant on the “Trolley Problem”.
What kind of god would sacrifice an infant to prove belief instead of just popping in with a booming voice and saying “Yes, I’m real you morons!” to prove it?
They have atheists and vampires confused I think
Got a few issues with this one.
In essence, would you change your religion if it gave an attunement bonus to something you wore (and perhaps have looted off a murdered faithful)?
Tbf, it'd be worth the shitload in church tax I'd then have to pay... if it worked. Which is the trouble with these religious relics anyway, eh?
I've missed the Christian baby genre and haven't seen it in awhile.
What the even fuck is this
I will absolutely not imagine trying to shoot a baby you sick fuck
I’d need to put the talisman on an animal, and on an inanimate object, to confirm if the power is faith-based, or intrinsic.
If it’s intrinsic, it’d test if the amulet itself is indestructible, to see if it can be sent to the center of the Earth so our planet becomes indestructible.
But the amulet wasn't at the center of the baby to make it indestuctible. More likely you'd need to put it on a chain which ran around the circumference of the Earth.
Anything touching the amulet becomes indestructible. If the amulet laid on the ground, mining operations around the world would be suddenly halted as their drills and picks and shovels and explosives no longer could damage the earth.
Also, all plants would die.
"The ground" is not a single solid object. Most likely you'd have a thin layer of invincible dirt, best case scenario one really big rock.
If the same was applied to a person, would the amulet make them invulnerable or just the cells the amulet rests upon? 🤔
Biology is messy but cells are interconnected and if we're accepting the initial bulletproof baby then we know that part works.
What about stuff like hair or dead skin cells? If I wear a crucifix, can I use a shotgun to shave and exfoliate my legs at the same time? Because holy moly, they shoulda led with that
Nothing about that cruel suggestion makes any sense. Why did it need to a baby, why can't it be trying to shoot the idiot making this insane suggestion who volunteers to wear a necklace and be shot.
Counter-offer: same scenario to the ignorant Christian who is shit-posting, but the necklace is of Ra, the Egyptian Sun God. Let's see if he would convert. Moron.
How am I supposed to eat a baby that's either indestructible or full of buckshot?
One bite at a time.
If shotgunning a baby is what it takes to discover immortality...
Old testament god seemed to be pretty good and offing kids so this tracks
huh
Read a book
verses
Well, there was the global flood that killed most life on the planet. Or was that just allegory?
How about these?
1 Samuel 15:
Hosea 13:
Numbers 31:
It was arguably worse for the girls:
And of course, 2 Kings 2:
Probably not. Lots of people die while wearing crosses, so it’s probably something other than the religious symbology keeping the baby safe.
God didn't stop me from taking it off the baby despite knowing I was going to kill it, so no.
Me: I can't believe in a supposed deity who couldn't think of a way to motivate it's followers better than Gary Fucking Gygax.
Christian: have you considered infanticide?
In all honesty, I'd think the previous shells were functionally blanks.
You have to do more troubleshooting first, like backing up to widen your spread first to see if the shot leaves a baby shaped outline in a sacrificial background target.
Maybe use multiple boxes of ammo, different brands, different shotguns, etc.
You don't take an opportunity to prove the existence of a god and just whip the necklace off as step two.
What if the gun is also cross-shaped?
(Like in From Dusk Till Dawn)
CHRISTIANS: You're about to shoot a baby with a cross of indestructability. But you're going to do it with the Heartline Special. What happens?
Killing babies, you know, Tuesdays.
I'd turn the gun round
If I was sick enough to try to x the baby and actually did it would be time to stage left
What does x mean here? What exactly are you trying to do to this hypothetical baby?
If I was ever in a situation I pointed a gun at a baby, it wouldn't be the baby getting shot. There is no way I could wake up each day knowing I ever did that.
My beef with God is not limited to the debate over their existence.
Has there ever been any evidence of wearing a cross protecting someone from physical damage?
I've heard anecdotes of soldiers having a bullet stopped by a medkit, field manual, or other fortuitous kit they kept in their pockets. With enough bullets fired and enough soldiers wearing crosses there must have been at least one who had a hefty enough cross in just the right place to catch a bullet which would otherwise have been fatal.
Edit: ...or enough bullets fired at children I guess https://www.indiatimes.com/trending/human-interest/9-yo-boys-crucifix-necklace-stops-stray-bullet-from-penetrating-his-chest-saving-his-life/articleshow/127627714.html
I mean, any bling-bling would do a better job since it is usually larger.
It’s almost like they’re getting it. Yes, fools, if I was shown direct evidence for your imaginary friend in the sky, I might conclude that they do in fact exist. Bring out the babies and the shotguns, by all means.
Dude was out in his yard. Bush on fire told him to murder. Decided probably bad idea. Blames god. Gen 22:1-19
Genesis 22:18 And in your offspring, all the nations of the earth will be blessed, because you obeyed my voice.”
good idea
Even Persia?
yes
They're not Christian. They have no knowledge of that god. If they don't know what the god concept is in general, they can't have an idea or opinion on it. Literally what the -ism suffix means in a word; theism,.monotheism, polytheism, atheism, pantheism, autotheism. Unfortunately, in time, they will be taught, but until then, get better with a shotgun or wait for the choking hazard around its neck.
Is OP Tanya the evil?
Sounds like a Las Vegas magic show.
Reno, at best.
Or how about you just have this god person you’re so fond of, come on down and shake my hand and then show me how he smites the wicked as he’s done so many times in that book you carry around? Worried you might be on the smite list? Im pretty sure I’m not…
No one wants to kill a baby or eat a baby or just hurt a baby in any way. My goal in life is to get that kid giggling so hard they hiccup.
As an atheist, I'll never have problems killing babies.
I built a special trebuchet for it
I'd remember to remove the necklaces before unloading, so as to not waste ammo.
Chicken why doesn't poster wear cross and prove their faith.
That kid's eyes are really unsettling
It’s AI image gen.
Which, considering how much I hate it when people Post their baby’s photos, I don’t actually hate this use of ai.
(Seriously. Do not post your kids photos. Even teenagers. Besides the creeps out there, you’ve got companies siphoning it up and using it for their own gain.)
I don’t know if you’ll be willing to learn much about Christianity if your starting point is shooting a baby with a shotgun.
Test the necklace on someone else who is an atheist adult see if its just an immortality necklace.
Shit that's just another baby to shoot, put it on the pile!
That baby has some serious eye asymmetry!
You can't just expect someone to find a picture of a baby on the internet, you have to genai it!!!
/s
That might explain why I'm trying to kill it, and why it won't die. But now I'm confused about what the necklace is, metaphorically speaking.
I'm curious. What exactly happens when the round hits the baby? Does the shot just bounce off? Or is it ripped into a pulp and still giggling?
"Magic" and such is true but a protection amulet won't make me join the yaldabaoth
So the crucifix is required to remove the necklace.. Is it like also a key, does it have a hidden actuator only a specially tuned NFC tag can operate? Is it just straight up magic?
Also am I back in time and the baby is the one who wrote that question? Because I'd rather raise the kid to not be a dumbass instead.