On 9/11 we were told something bad was happening in the US, but no details. The teachers decided there would be no class for the rest of day, instead we'd have in-class recess until school ended. We were not informed about what was actually going on, just told to play.

I got in trouble for having fun while playing, because it was disrespectful.

I asked my French teacher what a comment he’d written at the bottom of one of my test papers said, because I couldn’t read it.

Apparently it said: “Your handwriting is atrocious.”

He refused to believe I wasn’t taking the piss out of him and I ended up having to ‘explain myself’ to the head.

I beat a teacher at a typing test (speed, which is raw speed with mistakes subtracted; aka WPM, words per minute). He said it wasn't fair that I found a "better" way. Right fingers on Shift and Enter (and maybe right thumb on Space), and left hand doing the rest of the work. He said that's not the right way to type, even though he couldn't type as fast as me. So he took me to the office and said I cheated on the typing test. To pass the class, he made me learn the "normal" way of typing. So I did, and I beat him again, this time with office staff watching.

This was in the early to mid-1990s. No computers, no phones, no Google. I don't envy today's kids.

We discovered our teacher had a secret water bottle that was actually full of alcohol and called her out on it. She couldn't write us up for anything 'official' but we were suddenly getting written up for dozens of incredibly ridiculous things.

I got written up for looking bored in class.

The reason isn't really silly, I get it, but the punishment was.

In high school I spent a lot of time reading. Basically every lunch, every study hall period, etc. I read a fairly significant chunk of the library.

Problem was that I also tended to read during boring lectures in class, which pissed off a couple of my teachers and resulted in not great grades.

But all of their punishments were designed to punish people who hated to read. So my math teacher finally snaps and sends me to in school suspension... where I sit in a room and the monitor on duty is absolutely delighted that I sat there the entire day to read and even lets me go early for such good behavior.

I was later kicked out of honors courses and put into a remedial study hall situation. Again with a monitor who was supposed to make sure people were actually studying. Only way to get out of this was ... a library pass. Where I could freely read whatever I wanted. Never did spend much time in study hall.

Somebody set fire to a wall mounted bin with a firework inside it.
The deputy head went to put the fire out, the firework went of almost blowing his face off, allegedly, I didn't see it as I was already in detention for an unrelated incident.
The deputy head storms straight into where I'm sat on my tod for detention and asks what do I think I'm playing at almost killing him.
The headmaster gets called in and everyone's grilling me to confess for setting the bin on fire while I was in detention the whole time!

I got in trouble for wearing a trenchcoat while it was raining shortly after the whole columbine thing. There are some absolute morons working in schools.

It's a rain coat, asshole.

It's raining.

Do the fucking math!

4th Grade - my friends and I used to fold up pieces of paper into 'guns' that we would play with. They basically looked like a big L. It was right when zero tolerance policies started to get implemented, so of course I got 3 days suspension for my paper. That same year another kid got the same for an action figure gun.

11th Grade - in computer science class all of our exams were written only. I finished my test early, then went to a computer to work on my coding project for that week. The teacher I guess first thought I was cheating on the test, so called me to the front to make an example of me. When she learned I had already turned in my test she changed the charge to using the school computers for non school activities. When I demonstrated that I was working on my project she changed again to say that using the computer was against the agreement we all signed at the start of the year regarding appropriate use of the school computers. I asked to see what part of the agreement I had violated, and she pulled out the sheet to show me. When that didn't back her up she again changed her approach, this time writing me up for Saturday detention for "not bringing my book to class". I went to the Vice Principal to contest the entire issue, but he just told me to go to the detention anyway. I ended up spending an hour cleaning marker off of the walls.

In the fifth grade we were doing some group project thing where we had our desks grouped together while we were working on it. There were probably four of us in each group. One of the girls (we will call her Ashley) in my group was acting wildly, and I blurted out loudly "Ashley is having an orgasm!"

There was a pause of silence and an eruption of laughter and a scolding cry from the teacher calling me to her desk and out into the hall. She marched me to the principals office. I am utterly confused at this point. I sat outside the principals office for what felt like an eternity while my teacher and her were discussing what to do with me.

They called me into the office and had my mother on the phone and handed the phone to me and made me tell her what I said. I am still so confused, and I asked them and they all told me what I said was highly inappropriate and I received a three day suspension for sexual harassment. You see, I did not know what this word I had said actually meant, what I was trying to say and mean was "spasm" but neither authority figures nor my mother believed me. If you're wondering if this was too harsh, this was in the bible belt south in the mid 90s. Not in an exactly progressive state in the US. Fuck those bitches, im still bitter about that!

• Got in trouble for painting, or rather inking, a still life assignment in art class in black and white.
• Was threatened with a zero and write up for "lack of effort" for handing in a typed book report at the end of the same class period in which it was assigned. Don't get mad at me because you assigned a book I'd already read and refused to allow me to choose another.
• Threatened with expulsion after being called onto the carpet in the principal's office for a Very Stern Talk with a policeman present and everything for having a doodle of a benzene ring on the cover of my chemistry class notebook, because this was apparently "bomb making plans." A demonstration that the school issued textbook for this very same class was just chock-a-block full of not only this but illustrations of similar molecules was not received well by the administration ("backtalk") but ultimately I escaped unscathed.
• Sent to detention for my first and only time for gainsaying my biology teacher during a tirade delivered to the class early in the semester on the topic of, "Microscopes are important because you can't see no cells with just your eyes [sic]," and I responded by not raising my hand per se, but rather holding up a hard boiled egg from my lunchbox.
• Subsequently determined undetentionable during that selfsame detention due to the mandatory assignment therein, which was a photocopied form letter thing which was obviously designed to make you feel very very sorry and very very guilty about what you did with a writing prompt at the top demanding a minimum of three full paragraphs on the topic of, verbatim: "Explain why you are here." No further instructions. I started with the big bang and worked forward from there, and I got to about page four of meticulous blackletter script on both sides of each sheet of paper before the teacher supervising the detention room finally noticed (probably due to the bold text) and whisked one off of my desk, briefly skimmed it, and then threw me out. I was not allowed to keep what I had written. For all I know it's still pinned to the wall in the staff room, decades later.
• The reason for the blackletter script was because I wrote everything with a mildly customized vintage Sheaffer fountain pen specifically to annoy that same teacher. I imagine this also annoyed several others, although one or two were appreciative. For instance, my 11th grade math teacher bribed me with extra credit by having me hand letter titles on things for her that she'd photocopy and use as handouts, or whatever. Numerous attempts were made to bring the hammer down on me for this in some form or another, none of which were successful.

I have more. These are the most amusing ones.

Yes, I was an incorrigible little shit when I was in school, mostly because I won't countenance bullies of any stripe. Being bullied by other kids is bad enough; If you're a teacher, do better.

Changing a monitor's resolution from 1024x768 to something useable.

I got a detention for looking at a teacher "weird" in 9th grade. I was the only one in detention and he stared at ME weird the whole time, then tried to block the door on my way out. I slugged him in the stomach to get by and he never reported it, so that confirmed the creepy.

I got sent out to the hall whenever I had hiccups in 8th grade. They were too loud, apparently, and the teacher thought I was faking in order to disturb class.

Catholic school with uniform including khaki pants. I started my period and bled thru. I swapped to sweatpants. Most teachers just figured I must have some reason and didn't bother me. A couple asked after it, one accepted my reason and offered to to let me out of class to have a little more time to cleanup or call home or whatever I needed to feel comfortable. The last one gave me detention for being out of uniform.

School administration reversed it when they heard why I was being sent to detention. I was advised to just go to the main office if it ever happened again so they could help me instead of having to deal with each teacher myself.

I've told this story before and I'll tell it again.

4th grade Teacher of the Year winner and current sitting member of the school board Mrs. S. had a strict rule when lining up after recess:

"Straight line, no talking, no touching."

The bell would ring, and we'd all run to our respective, numbered spots on the playground, in a straight line, without talking, and certainly not touching, one another. Then, Mrs. S. would walk out to us, and we'd recite the line:

"Straight line, no talking, no touching."

And she'd lead us inside.

One day, returning from recess, the kid in front of me, Joe, was crying while standing on his number. Foolishly, I set my hand on his shoulder, and asked, "Are you alright?" Mrs. S. arrived just in time to rectify the situation. I watched as she strode up to me, staring daggers into my soul, and I yanked my hand off of my fellow student's shoulder, but the damage was done. Towering over me, inches away, she shouts to the class, "Class, what is the rule?"

"Straight line, no talking, no touching."

"Papalonian, what is the last part?"

"No touching."

"No... Touching."

I received my first and only citation for the rest of my elementary school years. Ever thankful will I be for learning the lesson that empathy (towards someone I didn't even like) shall never be tolerated when the rules forbid it.

I was in 5th grade during George W. Bush's stint as governor of Texas in the 90s. He did a bunch of "education reform" there that was the predecessor of the No Child Left Behind Act he championed as President. I was in a relatively good school but despite that, we were learning about nouns and verbs for the first time that year.

The teacher was an idiot and we would get dozens of worksheets that covered the same topic. For the nouns and verbs section, we would read through a paragraph and had to write all the nouns in one column and all the verbs in the other column. When the test came, it was the same as the worksheets but the teacher changed the columns to verb/noun, which I didn't read and I got a 0 for the test.

I went to the teacher and told her that it was an honest mistake and showed her how I aced all the other assignments, so I obviously understood the concept. She was insistent though that I got a zero despite that. However, because of the new Bush educational policies, students had the right to retake any assignment for the minimum passing grade.


So I asked her to retake the test, she said ok, and I crossed out Noun and wrote Verb and and same to Verb to Noun and handed it back. She immediately wrote another large zero on the page because I couldn't change that part and I lost recess privileges for the rest of the week for being "rude".

Revenge came though several weeks later when she was hanging black plastic sheeting on the suspended ceiling to create a makeshift planetarium in corner of the room. She was on a tall ladder and when she was putting up the last sheet, she lost her balance and fell through the sheeting and off the ladder and broke her arm. She was crying out for someone to help her but me and the other kids just let her struggle for a few minutes before she freed herself by tearing through the plastic sheet like Ace Ventura escaping from the rhino, crying.

In 8th grade English class we had to write a short essay for homework (this was before most families had a computer, so it was hand written). I'm lefty, and the ink from my pen smudged (iykyk). In front of the whole class she called me out for sloppy work and said I'd receive a 0. So I asked how, as a lefty, I could prevent that from happening. She gave me 3 days of detention for talking back to her. When my mom found out, she called the school and spoke with the principal, who happened to be a lefty. He reversed course, saying detention for this was ridiculous, as well as suggested pens he uses that smudge a lot less.

Another time, in high school, I was in art class. Everyone would keep their sketchbooks in the desks rather than take them home. One day, someone drew a bunch of swastikas all over mine, and then reported me. Originally, I was going to be expelled. After explaining I didn't draw them, and how anyone could access the book, they reduced it to 3 days suspension. After my mom got involved, it was reduced ("reduced") to 10 days of detention. This was catholic school, so detention was kneeling for an hour in front of a wall.

Also in catholic school, I got detention for arguing with my theology teacher that eating eggs means he supports abortion. I deserved and enjoyed detention that day.

.... I got in trouble a lot in catholic school

In the sixth grade I got my first detention ever because I picked up my baseball cap.

We were on a field trip and we went to visit some museum in the capital by train. While we walked back to the train station, our teacher stated that "no one is to step out of the train before her permission or they will get detention". I was the last to get on the train and my cap hit the backpack of the classmate in front of me and fell out of the train doors. I instinctively turned around, leaned out whist holding onto a safety bar and picked my cap. And stepped back on board.

I was a calm kid and had never broken any school rules or gotten into any trouble whatsoever. So when my classmates saw me putting one feet outside the train they simply flipped: "TEACHER, LORINDÓL STEPPED OUT OF THE TRAIN! YOU'RE GETTING A DETENTION!"

I was utterly dumbfounded. My "friends" had betrayed me and the teacher was approaching and looking angry. With tears in my eyes I explained what had happened and reminded her that we still had more than 10 minutes until the train doors would even close. Her face went from angry to sad and she silenced my heckling classmates with a few strict words. She told me that we would discuss this when we were back at school.

When we got back, everyone else got to go home and the teacher asked me to our classroom with her. "Lorindól, I'm very sorry. I have to give you detention because you did step out of the train, even if it was for all the right reasons. I understand you acted instinctively and did not mean to break any rules. But I must keep my word or it will lose it's meaning. As stupid as this sounds, the purpose of this detention is not to punish you. It's purpose is to show the others that my word is the law in this classroom, with no exceptions. I hope you can understand why I must do this." I thought about it for a while and said that I did.

When I told my parents about the detention my dad couldn't stop laughing. "You finally get a detention and it's for NOTHING!"

Mom was so angry that she wanted to call the teacher and make her call the detention off. I managed to talk her out of it and didn't hold any grudge against the teacher. I learned a lot about the world of adults that day.

I got in trouble for putting eye drops in a teachers coffee.

I had the flu that day, the day before, and the day after.

Got suspended for 3 days and told to write an apology letter.

Rumors are fun my friends.

I needed to pee. I had to bring a doctor's note saying that, yes, I needed to pee.

I can think of two stupid ones right off the top.

In my highschool freshman year, in our multimedia & webpage design (a very barebones graphic design/learn how to use Microsoft Office class), I got in sent out of class for doing all of my work at home (I used GIMP and a pirated copy of Sony Vegas at home). That same teacher also gave me a long lecture about viruses for visiting downloadmoreram.com.

In middle school, maybe 6th grade, we were split into groups to do some group project. Everyone was talking, working on their posters, chitchatting, normal kid stuff. For reasons I do not know, I had like sat down and shifted weird, and my throat made a strange, quite loud, involuntary noise. Kind of like a weird yelp? I did not mean to make this noise, but regardless, everything got super quiet, and the teacher asked "who yelled?" I stood up, explained that I did not yell, and accidentally made that noise. Teacher didn't believe me and sent me to the office. I'm still confused about that one.

It's a universal thing I think. So many little injustices that stay with us well into adulthood!

I have two. One goes way back to when I was 6, some 42 years ago.

We were on a field trip to a beach in the summer, which, given we live on a group of small islands, wasn't exactly imaginative, but I guess the teachers just wanted out of the classroom.

Anyway, the task was to collect seaweed. I came back with a bit of kelp, with the 'leaves' missing, so I guess it looked a bit like wood.

The teacher seems to think so, and insisted that it was just a wooden stick. It clearly wasn't, as anyone who paid the blindest bit of attention would know. My dog could tell the difference. Proof:

But she dismissed my weak protest and that was that. It was at that point, I guess, I learned a valuable lesson: some adults are fucking stupid.

The other incident was when I was 9. I was a good, polite boy in school and was never cheeky. Anyway, at the end of each day, we had to stand and be quiet for 30 seconds before we could leave class.

On this occasion I had the hiccups. The teacher held me back for half an hour and lectured me on respecting authority. She genuinely thought my hiccups, which are involuntary by definition, we're put on deliberately to provoke her. Needless to say, that reinforced the lesson I'd learned with the seaweed.

Sweet tap-dancing christ, this whole thread. If there's anything I've learned today, it's that some teachers are the most petty dictators that cannot tolerate being proven in the wrong, nor can handle having their decision making skills challenged. They're out there doing real lasting damage to people and their ability to think critically.

It's almost enough to make me want to go into education, just to displace one of these tyrants.

Sincerely, I'm sorry all of you had to go through any of this. Here's hoping you have support and find closure.

High school bathroom during lunch. 15 or so guys, handful smoking. Saw a guy making a smiley face on the ceiling with a cigarette lighter. It just leaves a soot mark that wipes away easily.

No sooner do I attempt to do the same thing, the principal walked in and saw me...

"YOU!" he yelled. "You're going to HQ!" Like he was a cop or something.

Cops came, he said that he wanted me charged with attempted arson. He took the cops to the bathroom. When they came back, the cops were kind of laughing at the principal.

Got charged with criminal damage to property, but it got dropped, because the mark could be wiped off easily.

we were building a snow fort and I was punching a hole into a snow block

next thing I know, a teacher is telling me I have to go inside because I punched a kid in the face

I had to sit in detention, as like a first grader, and have the older kids guide me through it. I was so confused. pretty sure I was crying. no adult helped me, that I can recall.

either this kid hated me and made some shit up, or they were so fucking stupid and enough of a little bitch that they walked right behind and stuck their face where I was repeatedly punching the snow and got hurt without me feeling the impact.

and on that day, my mistrust of authority was born. no amount of insistence would sway them. I must be punished.

I once got detention for not getting a practice test signed by my parents. I'd scored a 92, but apparently everyone else bombed, so they wanted everyone to get theirs signed, I figured that since I'd done well that it wouldn't apply to me. Oops.

I was disciplined for 'disturbing' the class by correcting my teacher when she said the elephant was the largest mammal in the world... And no, I did not say 'yo mama'...

This was in elementary school. It was pretty cold, even inside, so I was blowing into the inside of my elbow to get warm air into my sweater. I'm not sure how, but I messed up the alignment or something and ended up making a loud fart noise. And without getting any opportunity to explain, I was made to stand in the hall.

I got beat up by a guy twice my size who was just in a pissy mood. "Participated in a fight, in school suspension"

I was walking through the canteen with some classmates. One of them stole a sugar cube intended for coffee from the canteen. A teacher, apparently feeling Biblical, punished the whole group with an hour of detention.

When I was in NYC schools, I used to play with rubber bands, and I'd fold paper into tiny "bullets" and I'd "slingshot" them at things for fun... I mean, I was like probably 9 years old and smartphones weren't even a thing yet and I had no DS like some rich kids in my class did (early 2010s for context). So, anyways, I was messing with ciphers with another kid, and we were in the same grade and same class in the afterschool program we went to, so we'd kinda pass notes to each other using the cipher, by slingshotting the piece of paper.

So I was nearsighted. I can't aim properly. I was trying to aim like at that kid's desk, I accidentally hit the staff/teacher/volunteer (idk what he even count as, don't think they are officially licensed teachers, it's some non-profit program and there were a bunch of volunteers, probably doing it as community service hours for college or something)... dude got mad at me and I got in trouble, and because I was in a foreign country, I felt very vulnerable, I felt scared, and I just cried...

The other time was like in a different afterschool program. I think it was like 3rd grade, and they played some holiday music around december, I remeber it feeling very like Christmas... but anyways, idk what happened, I think the music just triggered my sensory issues or something (I have no diagnoses of anything btw), so I just felt this sudden urge... so I went up to the smartboard thing and turned down the volume. The white lady teacher got so pissed at me, she marked my behavior chard to red (I think I remember she was also my homeroom teacher, so she had control over the behavior chart thing), red is the worst, yellow is a warning, green is good behavior.

It wasn't even official class time, it was afterschool. Why does behavior outside school hours even count?

So I couldn't go on school trips until I "behaved" again.

Like...

I just cried...

Yes I cried very often...

I was a scared little kid in a foreign country and had no idea wtf is going on.

I remember being excluded from a lot of trips, and have no clue wtf was happening around me.

Like... seriously I didn't even damage anything... the music was just hurting my ears... my sanity...

Why yell at a 9 year old child that doesn't even speak much English?

Fucking karen.

So I kinda just feel very intimidated by teachers from that moment on.

I think I vaguely remember a few dreams in my late teens, like way after my family left NYC, where I remember, in the dream, being trapped in an elementary school classroom, from where I was waking up so anxious...

1st to 2nd grade so this was what my parents relayed to me after I grew up a bit more

Apparently I was so aggressively autistic (and relatively smart) that I not only did close to perfect on all my exams, I once did the calligraphy/writing homework so well that my teacher had to talk to my parents to know if I cheated by having them do my homework for me... FYI: my handwriting now is as bad as a doctor's

Worked in school. One of the teachers gave a paper to be signed by the parent at a kid because he didn’t tie his shoes, which was ridiculous because he didn’t have time to get out of his winter clothes.

One of our teachers said you have to learn some things by rote because "if you throw enough mud at a wall, eventually some of it sticks". We were investigating this for science on the (windowless) back wall of the gym and we all got detention. We had got quite a lot of brown smudging but very partial and blotchy coverage.

I sang the pledge of allegiance to the tune of happy birthday, started multiple food fights, sucked the ink out of a gel pen, and taped library books together to make bigger books.

I got sent to the wall for going down the slide. I was never told why going down the slide was punishable this time, but thanks for teaching me to have a healthy mistrust of authority early in life

6th grade bully crushed my bag of chips, i retaliated by dumping my water bottle on him. I'm the one that got in trouble.

Zero tolerance era. Grade school (I think 4th?) I'm reading one of those books that's just like "Medieval History" with a bunch of pictures and the history on what the items was. (I think this one was about spies or James bond or something). Kid comes up to me actively reading and says "I was reading that, you took it from me!" Basically escalates it to "I'm gonna fight you" and starts sort of dragon ball z style punching me in the stomach a bunch of times really fast. Parents told me not to let that slide and to fight back, so I cock back and punch him in the face. Right as the teacher walks through the door. I was in 4th grade, I didn't deck the kid, but I did hit him. Whole deal, go to the office, explained what happened. "Zero tolerance, 3 day suspension"

Dad asks what happened, explained, got 3 days off school at home fishing and playing video games. Best time I had at that school, also completely broke my faith in that system, so win win.

I was in second grade, it was for reading. I don't remember what book anymore, but it was age appropriate. I was just reading the wrong thing during reading time.

I was caught making out with my girlfriend.

I should mention that this was an all-girl Catholic cult school in the early 80s. Not only was I expelled but my parents moved us to a different country because they were so ashamed.

I don't know how stupid it was but I started taking the bulb out of the overhead projector. The lady teaching put it right next to me everyday and the fan was going bad. The noise it made was driving me crazy and she just ignored me when I asked her to turn it off. I got caught taking one and they went ape shit over it in admin. Finally after one of them went down to the room and listened to the POS running inquired to the teacher how she expected anyone to be able to concentrate with that in their ear everyday they backed off a bit. Still got in trouble but I was smiling the whole time. For years after I was out of school I flipped that old biddy the bird every time I ran into her.

During band, I left my trombone on the stand, and went into the instrument room to get something out of my case. When I returned and tried to play my horn, it was badly muffled. I tried to open it up with a blast, and a bunch of paper fell out. While I was gone, my section mates had torn up a piece of paper and stuffed it in my bell.

It wasn't what they were hoping, the paper more fell out than blasted out, but I got the detention anyway, even though I was the innocent victim of a vicious prank.

I survived. It was the trombone section, I was guilty of numerous other infractions I was never punished for.

Calling my teacher a dog after he called me a horse. This is no joke, my mother was called in.

4th grade at a Christian school. My brother was getting into Metallica and so I was also getting into Metallica. Gave a friend a my brother's copy of Kill 'Em All and that he could borrow it for three days.

My folks didn't really care, but his mom raised hell over it. If you don't know the album, look up it's cover. Its got a bloody hammer in the center with Kill 'Em All st the bottom. She raised hell and I get called into a meeting with the principle and my folks.

I don't remember what was said, but my dad wasn't going to take any shit from them. I was there to learn and I was a good kid so they can fuck right off. Frankly, I don't remember having any suspension or detention from it. What I do remember was them throwing out the cassette and knowing how pissed my brother would be. That was the real punishment.

The satanic panic was dumb. And I was lucky enough to not even know it was going on.

got suspended for calling some kid a dickhead (who deserved it btw). Seems a bit harsh

I got in trouble for doing homework at school. Homework is supposed to be done at Home, not at school, I was told.

Grade 12. A few of us knucklheads heard there was a golden locker at North Toronto High school, the exact locker of Neil Young. So we rode up there on 3 motorcycles to see for ourselves. Got in trouble with principals at two schools and the local newspaper referred to us as a biker gang.

Not exactly in trouble but in middle school we got yelled at a lot for staying inside during recess. We were supposed to go outside and leave the hallways empty. For context, in winter the school turned on the heating (at a minimum) for about 2 hours out of the 6 we were there. The rest of the time the building had a similar temperature to outside. So we'd take advantage of those hours and, during recess, we'd just flock around the radiators in the hallways and stand there talking instead of freezing outside. Some teachers really didn't like that and made it their job to shoo us away.

Principal threatened to expel me senior year because I was fidgeting with one of those switchblade-combs because it was a facsimile of a weapon. The only reason I had it was because we used it as a prop in the school play the week before.

It was in elementary school. We had a multiple choice test and we had to check the circles next to the right answers with an x.

Instead, I put smiley faces in all the right circles and "frowny" faces in the wrong ones and was very proud of the whole sheet. I didn't really get into trouble, but the teacher was mildly upset and I think I had to go over it to do it the "right" way :(

We had a music teacher who, without fail, yelled "What's the point of this class? You can just as well leave" during every class.

So one class, all of us left.

We got detention and had to write lines. One of the girls had an entire box of scented pens in different colours and she put them all on a table. Then each of us wrote an entire page of stinky, multicoloured lines. I'm sure he didn't read them all but I bet he had a headache in no time.

Being literally a few seconds late to sit down when the bell rang and getting suspended by the racist teacher.

I got detention multiple times for reading in class before they basically gave up. I was getting good grades and paying just enough attention to the classes I read through that if called on I could participate, but it was boring and slow, and books kept me from being disruptively bored. I barely stopped reading all day and would burn through 1,000 page books in under 2 days (the public library gave me a second card to use for inter library loan to not use my normal checkout slots on shipping days :). Thing is, detention didn’t have a no reading rule, because in a school that would be silly, so I’d just… keep reading. So they called my mom who was like yep, they just read all day here too, so they stopped trying to punish me for it. My English teacher had the right idea and didn’t care if I read the assigned books or paid attention in class as long as I did the vocab tests and wrote up a one-page report on every single book I finished. Far more work, but much better suited to what I was going to do anyway.

I also got in trouble multiple times for wearing absolutely nothing other than pj pants (like yea shirts and stuff too but never jeans). I contested them giving me detention for it, and got off because it wasn’t an official rule in the handbook, something I’d explicitly checked prior to my wardrobe shift to comfort and giving no fucks. They changed the handbook the next year and I switched to solid color athletic pants in obnoxiously bright colors, and I again got in trouble, and contested, and same thing got off because it wasn’t explicitly mentioned.

Not me, but I witnessed it. ~7th grade 2 boys were playing a game between the rows of desks where they interlock the fingers of one of each of their hands. Then, they smack the back of their interlocked hands with their free hand until one of them quits and let's go. The teacher was walking up and down the rows... apparently okay with this. I'm not sure of the exact sequence of events, but somehow, the planets aligned. One of them quit while the other was mid swing and he slapped the teacher's ass. Hard. Hard enough that it made a loud clap. The look on that kid's face... blushing red and turning pale at the same time.

I already knew how to read when going to the first year of school. My parents were worried I'd be bored during classes, so they convinced the teacher to allow me to bring a book to read for myself when I'm done with any reading work. She probably thought I'd bring some fairy tales, and agreed.

When the class came, I finished the reading exercise and pulled out the book I was allowed to. It wasn't fairy tales though - it was a dinosaur encyclopedia. The teacher got very angry and took the book away, as "it's not an appropriate reading material for a first grader".

I refused to speak with the teacher for the rest of the semester.

When I saw in first grade I was held back for pronunciation problems and in my second time through Math at a 1st grade level I completed a lot of the homework because I remembered math pretty well. My teacher caught me doing this in class and she started flipping through the pages, I had finished about 15 pages of upcoming hw. I got written up and my parents had to come in, I don't remember a detention because it was 1st grade but it could have happened.

In third grade I was at recess playing with a friend and I lightly tapped him, like a friend tap, on his cheekbones. I remember it being in jest and good faith. He then reported me to the teacher and then the principal. I received a detention for playing with my friend by my friend.

I usually just received detentions for regular things like not doing homework. I guess I was jaded because i got detention for just existing.

4th grade, i drew handcuffs on my wrist with a pen during class. I thought it looked cool, the teacher apparently did not. The punishment was that i had to skip the next recess, and i still dont understand why i was punished, since the teacher didn't explain and i was too shy to ask.

Got caught skiving off an afternoon class with a friend. Unfortunately his absence was noticed and he had very strict parents who would ground him at the drop of a hat. When we were pulled up on it he said the first lie that came into his head, which was that he'd shat himself. I had to play along. Ultimately he avoided being grounded but had to get an unnecessary prostate exam and take stool hardeners for a year.

The first thing that came to mind wasn't actually in school, it was at home, but it was when I had just got home from school so I hope it's okay.

I was eating nutella from the jar, with a spoon. Like a goblin. I had a huge amount on my spoon. Suddenly, the front door opens and in my embarrassment for eating this large quantity of hazelnut sugar, I quickly shoved the jar away in the cupboard, and snuck by my parents with the spoon behind my back.

Uh oh. I was planning on eating the nutella in my room, off the spoon, but I realised it was far too much nutella. Maybe I lost my appetite. Either way, the only recourse in my mind was to dump the contents of the spoon down the toilet, and stash the spoon to be returned at a later date.

Not only did the nutella not flush, but I also didn't notice that it hadn't flushed, leaving a sight that I'm sure we can all imagine. My parents were furious, we actually had guests so they were livid that they could have seen this. They pulled me to one side, were basically yelling at me: "We're not mad you did it, we're mad you're lying to us about it."

I didn't know what to do. I just kept telling the truth. I was eating nutella and didn't want to get into trouble for the gigantic spoonful so I tried to hide it. Resulting in a stalemate.

Anyway, I'm not sure they actually remember this happening, but it was quite traumatic for me because I was otherwise quite a good boy.

I still have the pink slip somewhere around here, pressed into an old textbook...

But it was for "placing dog dropping shaped powerbars around the classroom"

Classroom = his desk

I 'won' both my disciplinary hearings.

Freshman year, I beat a bully so bad his family had to move somewhere he could get PT for his crippled hands.

I showed up to that one with a PD detective, whos sone was also a bullying victim. He threatened charges against the Vice principal for aiding and abetting the assault of a minor/ potential attempted murder which i had successfully defended my friend from. (Bully had said he was going to choke out my friend until he was retarded- and was in the process of doing so when jumped him) i had told the VP himself the timing and specificity of the threat, hence the possible charge.

This turned the meeting pretty quickly into one about school negligence and culpability, and triggered policy changes that included mandatory dismissal of staff for failure to intervene. We also got a SRO, whos first statement was that he was a resource for students, especially if staff was failing in their duty to them, and that he was not another disciplinarian. (To his credit, and before the ACAB crew, who i agree with, he did live up to that- guy was genuinely a good guy got a bunch of certs in child counciling and advocacy. In his 20 year tenure, according to his recent obituary, he arrested 1 student- for a rape on school premises that he stopped. )

That Vps carreer ended a couple months after, partially at the hands of the SRO. He punched a student who wouldnt give up his hat. Unfortunately, it was a football player, who knocked him out with his helmet. The SRO watched the whole thing, told the players to get to the field. VP left the school handcuffed to a stretcher.

Junior year I had a sillier one. My GF and I were in AP calc. The teacher gave me a blank copy of the midterm, to copy her near perfect exam as a study guide for the upcoming final. I was doing so in study hall, when the english teacher grabbed both off my desk, accusing me of cheating. This led to another disciplinary hearing, scheduled for Friday afternoon. On Thursday I talked with the math teacher, who told me she had been told she was not allowed to attend, and her 'input was not nescessary'.

At the time, I had a job filming for public access TV, mostly school sports, but also the school committee meetings. So, after the meeting that evening, I spoke with the superintendent of the school system, and expressed my concerns.

Next day, I go into the meeting alone, and sit down, facing the principal, flanked by the VP and the english teacher, feeling pretty screwed. The VP (not the original one from last story, but his replacement is the same disciplinarian role ) starts things off yelling about how bad cheating is, how ive ruined my academic career, and can kiss college goodbye.

He has just hit his stride when the door opens. The Superintendent walks in, along with one of my favorite teachers.

First words out of the Superintendents mouth are "what the fuck is wrong with you? go take a walk, before you have an aneurism!" And he sends the VP out.

They then take a seat on either side of me, clearly marking his side in the adversarial meeting, and asks the english teacher exactly what she saw. he the asks the principal to pass the tests in question over. He then asks her mockingly, "do you know what a midterm is? They were 4 months ago! and these papers clearly say midterm in very large letters. Look, this one (holding up my GFs) even has a grade on top, a 98%, end a unicorn sticker, well done Lauren! (my gfs name, also the math teacher was a total geek, and famous for putting cutesy stickers on good grades)

He the continues on, "still, cheating is a serious accusation." Switching his attention the principal, "I suppose you did a thorough investigation before this meeting. Have you discussed this with the math teacher? Did she say there was any credit to be gained from this assignment?, by the way where is she?
At this point the principal knows hes in a bit of trouble and is looking down at the table and barely responding. The superintendent goes on for a minute about how its wasnt very sporting of them to have 3 people gaming up on me and not to even have the math teacher there to defend my side.

At that point, he turns to me, and asks how I felt about the ambush. And I start off with "well, I dont really get how we got here in the first place- you have to be incredibly fucking myopic..." (I was going to say to assume copying the answers from one page that says exam to another must always be cheating ) but i was interrupted by the principal who seeing an out, had jumped to his feet, knocking his chair over, and was pointing at me, yelling

"HE SWORE! HE SWORE! HE FUCKING SWORE" he looked like a giant toddler, and the superintendent and my teacher burst out laughing at him. They laughed for an uncomfortably long time. Until he calmed down and sheepishly returned to his seat.

Finally, it was the art teacher who spoke up. He goes "well, rules are rules, you did swear. The maximum penalty for a first time for that is a 1 day suspension, do you have anything important tomorrow?" I shake my head no, and he says "good, why dont you take a three day weekend while we all consider what to do about this whole debacle." He looks over at the superintendent, who nods, and we leave the room.

On monday i found out the decision had been made to remove me from the english class, with the art teacher allowing me to hang in his room. I was offered my 95 grade average to be entered in as my score for all future assignments, getting me out of both a final exam and a 10 page paper, which suited me fine.

Later I found out the english teacher got demoted back to teaching middle school. The principal was apparently put on their version of double secret probation, with a caution that one more complaint and he was out, and the VPs contract was up already not renewed (i can only assume both of those were final straw descisiond, although the school system generally tried to stagger each schools leadership turnovers, and the principal only had a year left before he was leaving )

This isn't my story it was a friend, but I think about it often and it still makes me laugh. It was high school English class and the teacher asked "does anybody know the famous quote from 'The Elephant Man'?" and without missing a beat my friend put his arm in front of his face like and elephant trunk and made a loud and accurate elephant noise while slowly waving his arm up. Everybody thought it was hilarious except for the teacher who sent him to sit in the hall for the rest of the period. So he's sitting out there and 5 minutes later the door opens and another kid comes out and my friend is like "what did you do wrong?" and the other kid goes "I couldn't stop laughing"

Which is fucking great. Gets me every time.

Due to the way my school issued punishments, I got the same punishment for getting into a fight as I did for being a few minutes late to class. 2 days in school suspension.

I got detention once for being sleepy, I didn't know until recently that I had been dealing with chronic low blood pressure problems as a result of a diet thst didn't sustain my body properly, the load on my body was from school mostly so I couldn't just reduce it and I couldn't really eat more because school lunches weren't enough and snacking wasn't allowed.

Guilt by association. Or rather, actually, proximity.

One day, when I was in middle school, there was a food fight. Nothing climactic like you'd see in the movies, just a few boys sitting at the same table throwing French fries at each other, escalating to M&Ms. Someone's half-pint of milk got knocked over. Faculty was quick to shut it down and issue punishment.

Rather than considering who started the fight or who escalated it, the teacher decided to simply drop the hammer on everyone seated at the table, equally. Including myself and three other kids, who weren't in the fight at all.

2 things.

I would get my hand hit with a ruler so I would not write with my left hand. My over 60 yr old spinster teacher said it was a sign of the devil.

Second time also involved the same batshit crazy teacher. I was outside the classroom by the windows and there was this big sheet of steel on the ground. I being a dumb kid thought it would be fun to jump up and down on it making a very large racket whilst happily jumping. Teacher comes out and starts boxing my ears screaming why did you not stop, I kept telling you from the window. All I said was it was loud.

Forced to go to a private catholic HS. Dress code for boys included collared shirts. Regularly didn't wear one. Regularly "caught" and issued detention. By the time I left and for a couple of decades later, as I understand it, I held the record for most hours of detention (~183). Jokes on them as the detention monitor helped me with school work and gave me my first (of many) handjobs. She was a pro.

Eating chips in a class we were allowed to eat in. Other kids were eating when I got sent to the office and I got in more trouble for pointing that out. Painting my nails. I was told to stop, asked to go to the bathroom, and got in trouble when I came back with my nails fully painted. And in a situation where the whole class was told to be silent, but the teacher refused to look at any of us, I noticed someone (who was the type that never got in trouble) was pretty impatiently waving her hand around, so I told the teacher she needs something and was sent to the office. OH now that I'm writing I'm thinking of more. Some kid groped me in the middle of the cafeteria and I was scolded for pushing the issue because "he's a good kid who was just "being silly" and these kinds of things can really follow someone ya know." He later spent time in prison. And there was a girl who was a huge bully that I told to stop picking on someone who was afraid of getting hurt (I truly had a death wish, the girl was 3x my size) and she threatened to jump me in the bathroom. She harrassed me for weeks and I definitely aggravated the situation because I refused to be intimidated. I'd announce when I was going to the bathroom, tell her nows your chance etc. I was asked to leave her alone bc if she were to get into another fight she would be sent to juvie. She is currently in prison. Really backwards logic in that school

ate shit once

Called the kid who groped me in music class (and also liked to harass and try to dry-hump my friend at recess) a baboon, and before that I moved from the chair onto the floor so he couldn't touch my ass with his feet, but the teacher of course bitched at me for that. Fun times. (:

1. I cursed on a merry go round while in 4th grade with kindergartners on it. All the other of my supposed peers were "absolutely shocked and appalled" I cussed in front of kids who hear more curse words at home. Side note, I was the school pariah everyone picked on, I've heard these shits say worse things in front of younger kids.
2. A teacher threatened me to take off my trench coat in high school. He looked like he was going to physically assault me while wearing it, one of the shit head gym teachers, and I asked him why. Told "That's not the question you should be asking right now." He apparently reported it to the principal who just walked up to me at lunch while wearing it, opened it up and said "No guns." Then left. I think the principal knew why I was dressed like that, the gym teacher was a fucking asshole.

In 6th grade, I got in trouble for putting gum in my mouth before the bell rang. It was maybe 15 seconds before the bell. The idiot teacher called my mom in to discuss it.

Infamously hated student dean at an otherwise pretty normal HS was known for sitting in her office and watching students on the security cameras so she could dole out punishment for incredibly minor stuff like being late to class, running in the halls, and covering your face (was seen as an attempt to thwart the cameras or security) etc.

However, she was visibly in a more angry mood when on physical rotation like watching the Cafeteria during lunch, so people would avoid any interaction with her like the plague.

Anyways, one day during a very cold winter lunch one of my friends entered into the cafeteria from outside with his hood up, hands in pockets, and visibly covered in snow from walking outside. Rest of our friend group was already sitting at our usual table as he's rolling up. Student dean has already clocked him and within maybe 10 seconds of entering the building, is asked to remove his hood.

Buddy replies with "oh sorry, I was cold"

We watched as the dean proceeded to tear into him for "talking back" and "insubordination" before he got hauled off to the main office and was given a weeks worth of after school detention.

Funniest thing was we were warned about the atrocious Dean by the previous year's Valedictorian. No one liked her.

I absent-mindedly hummed the theme to Coach (a 90s sitcom) during class in which the teacher was a football coach.... He sent me to detention for it.

Throwing a dime onto an empty stage

Yelled "toilet" three times in the corridor, just outside of the classroom as school was ending. Ended up into nearly two hours of detention, which ended when my parents came to look for me.

Apparently the teacher had another class and forgot about the detention. I was in the first grade.

I put a woopie cushion on my teachers chair. It broke her. It went from what i was hopping to be funny to being in the principal office. She went mad and instantly shrank into myself while the entire class pointed at me.It only got worse from there. All that for a woopie cushion

I sold blow-pops (suckers surrounding bubblegum on a stick) for $0.25 in junior high (1986?) [bought them at PriceClub now CostCo?]. Chaos ensued on the playground. My mother got called to the Asst. Princ. office.

We were always late to our class after lunch and the teacher was fed up with it, so gave us before school detention. Thing was, we otherwise were on good terms with him and did well in class, so detention was sitting around and watching part of a movie of our choosing. I think it was more a show for the class that we weren’t favored (which we absolutely were).

We still weren’t on time after that, but never got detention again. Moved on to the next grade and a different teacher for that subject the next year.

Self defense in middle school. I was awkward for at least 2 years due to some life events (bipolar mom that kicked me out of not being g perfect in school, forced to move with dad that did not know how to psrent and didn't finish middle school himself) Great in class but it took a while to start interacting with all the new people I'm meeting. Ended up leading to a few fights from some of them associated with a gang and police were involved since it was "zero tolerance" never got charged since the teachers would request the footage so I wouldn't get charged for the mess but it was stressful. High school was with the same kids, at least half of them didn't graduate

My fifth grade teacher hated me. Yelled at me in front of the whole class just because I went to her desk to ask her a question. It was deliciously satisfying to see the principal tear her a new one in her office in front of me the following day. She was so embarrassed lol

Got a negative report because some students were being loud in the corridor before the teacher came in. I (and a few others) were doing my homework, but the entire class got punished 🙃 If I had more courage back then, I would have marched straight to the assistant head's office and refused to get it signed by my mum. It was only 5 points, but I hate when quiet people minding their own business get unfairly blamed because they happened to be in the same group as those causing chaos.

High scool, I was caught doing "grafitti" (like, micro graffiti (ꐦᄑ _ᄑ)> ) and the punishment was to come in and paint over some school walls over the weekend.

Actually I was caught doing graffiti a few times (out of school), I was a dumb kid.