Spyke
piefed.social

Amateur! Wait till you hit 65. I'm slowly becoming Darth Vader. Machines to make me breathe, eyes that can't see, ears that can't hear and teeth that shatter on the softest food. Luckily they haven't started replacing any of the inside bits.... yet.

PS: this is just the short list of stuff.

96
Peffsereply
lemmy.world

I describe adulthood as an ever-increasing amount of rituals to maintain normal.

42
piefed.social

Oh god yes!!! it takes an hour of smearing gels and snorting powders just to go to bed. Then I have to do it again next morning.

16

My CPAP was literally life changing, was insane how much better I felt when I actually had real sleep! Hahaha

2
lemmy.world

After 40? Lmfao. People, just take the time to care for yourself. Eat balanced meals, don’t over eat, stop watching TV all the time and go for a walk.

Take it from someone nearing 50 who took gluttony to the max by 35. I feel better today, than I ever did in my younger adult years because I stopped being a typical american.

68
lemmy.world

I'm sixty, and I agree. The best time to start taking better care of yourself is when you hit 18. The second-best time is right now.

For the past 16 years, I've steadily improved my diet and exercise habits. I feel pretty good, compared to what I hear others complain about. I sleep about seven solid hours per night, typically waking up once around 3AM. I'd like to get more, but I've accepted that ~seven is all I need, because I can't sleep longer.

I think when you hit 45, you need to make a choice. You can choose to put in the effort or not. No one can do it for you, and no one else really cares whether you do. In fact, some people will actively discourage you, sadly enough.

34

The reason this post connects with people is that it validates a very well understood connection between aging and difficulty sleeping

Turning around and invalidating people in response and telling people its their own fault is frankly silly. Just because you resolved your sleep/health issues by taking better care of yourself doesn't mean everyone else struggling with sleep is just an unhealthy bum who should do better

Aging tends to bring with it sleep problems that aren't caused by lifestyle factors associated with poorer health, and even in cases where someones health issues are because theyre not taking good enough care of themselves, telling those people its their own fault generally overlooks socioeconomic factors- it usually amounts to blaming people for being poor, or mentally unwell

Source: I have a severe sleep disorder and at 27, I've seen a multitude of sleep doctors (and am still searching for a Dr who is knowlegable enough about my condition to try and help me beyond what I'm already doing) and spent a fair chunk of my life at this point sitting across from one discussing sleep issues

24

Above 40 and get roughly 3-4 hours after being in bed 9. Exercise daily (and have been since age 20), am at a healthy weight, eat (relatively) right. Been seeing specialists and trying a dizzying array of things for 9 years, but I'm pretty sure this is just me now. Sometimes you just get dealt a bad hand.

12
Crisreply
lemmy.world

🫂

Sleep issues suck ass, I'm sorry my friend. Sleep maintenance insomnia seems so much more challenging to treat than sleep onset insomnia

6

Thank you, sorry for you as well. I have no trouble getting to sleep, it's staying asleep that's the issue. Seems to ultimately stump everyone.

2
absGeekNZreply
lemmy.nz

What wakes you?

My partner has an issue, where she is tired and falls asleep. But because something is worrying her, she wakes with thoughts ruminanting in her mind. This will go on night after night until she deals with the thing she is worrying about.

If this is happening to you, see what you can do to deal with the worrying situation.

I had severe insomnia (10-15hrs/week) in my teens and early 20's, I couldn't get to sleep, so maybe not applicable. But what finally cracked it for me was rock climbing, I'd go after work and climb until physical exhaustion, climbing is good because it forces you to think about the climb as well as exercise. I'd go home after and have a cool shower and a very light meal. I ate my big meals early in the day.

I am still a short sleeper, I only get 4-6hours (average 5:15) per night.

2

It's thinking through and planning random things for the most part. It could be a work-related issue, or a random thing I just realized I had an idea about how to do better than I had planned, or a specifically-worded challenging google search I need to do to troubleshoot something.

The thoughts themselves aren't usually high-stress, but my brain starts working on them regardless. Strategies to take my attention off of them might work for a time (counting, imagining a journey, etc), but even if I fall asleep I wake right back up soon enough. I suspect right now the main mental issue is symptoms of burnout, but I have physical eye dryness issues layered on it (all being separately worked on with different specialists - tried all the drops, treatments, strategies...).

I could go on and on, but thanks, exhausting myself during the day is not a bad idea all things considered. At least it may reduce my physical capacity to wake up.

1
Lokireply
lemmy.dbzer0.com

Which time do you exercise? I feel being tired really helps, so exercising in evening might help.

2

Morning for me, because actually exercise for me compensates for the lack of sleep, "wakes" me up. But thanks, I'll try anything at this point.

2
Crisreply
lemmy.world

If you live in a state where she can see you as a patient and time zones make sense, Meg Danforth at triangle cbt-i is by far the most capable sleep provider I have ever seen and specializes in treating insomnia, and I've seen a ton of sleep providers at this point (I have a circadian rhythm disorder but used to also have sleep onset insomnia). She may also be the best provider I've ever seen, in any speciality. Just looked up her new site (I used to see her through major hospital before she moved to her own private practice doing telehealth) and learned are only 150 cbti practitioners in the US certified by the board of behavioral sleep medicine, and she's one of them. She's also a grade A wonderful human.

Sending love, I hope you find a path to sleep that sucks less

1
AceOnTrackreply
lemmy.blahaj.zone

Yeah well,

I exercise, eat healthy and am not American.

My sleep is still fuck.

Take your high horse and ride it into the sunset.

11

Same. I'm more healthy than everyone I know my age, and at 40 something my sleep is getting increasingly horrible. While people a lot less healthy sleep 8h every day. I'm so jealous...

I think it's because they are happy. I hate happy people.

0
lemmy.ml

At some point in my 40s I started doing that medieval "first sleep" and "second sleep" thing where my eyes just blast wide awake at 2am. I don't have to pee, I'm not uncomfortable, I just wake up. I read, take the dog out, brush my teeth again... After awhile I go back to sleep and wake up at the normal time.

I guess it is kind of nice to do a patrol around and make sure everything is cool, and the dog loves it. It's just kind of weird.

46
BanMereply
lemmy.world

Long ago, when humans lived by daylight, we likely lived this way, with a "hole" in the middle of sleep, where people would wake up, putter around, chat and tell stories, have something to eat, and then go back to sleep. There was a lot less going on back then, people didn't have access even to books and candles were costly anyway so there was no reason to stay up late. I've had the same issue myself although these days, it's just the 2 times to pee.

13

I think my neighbours are like this

I recently learned (while staying up late trying to shoot a rat in my backyard) that they go to bed around 8-10 pm, then are up for an hour or so sometime around 1-2am, and it is fairly consistent

8

Same. I'm over 50, and my wake up time is about 3:30am. I will read, or catchup on email, or play an hour or two of a PC game. Then go back to bed tired and get snuggled, and wake up at 8 for work.

6

I started taking a tiny dose of trazodone at bedtime to help me with that. It’s not nearly as habit forming as all the “real” sleep drugs.

5
slrpnk.net

I've been doing that as well, there is periods where I'm just awake in the middle of the night.

2

I think a lot of us do that and after awhile I started taking note of the amount of time I was asleep before waking so alert and ready to go. Now I set my alarms to coincide with that. For me it's about 3.5 hours so I have one alarm that wakes me at 2:30am than another for 7am. Seems to work for me though my wife and friends say I'm crazy for waking myself up in the middle of the night. But for me there's that calming realization I have nearly 4 more hours of sleep before waking up for good. Makes those last few hours even more precious.

2

This literally just began happening to me a couple of weeks ago. Now, I live northern enough that currently there's only 7½ hour daylight, so most of the day it's actually dark, and for these nights it doesn't really make much difference having those first and second sleep, but it is weird.
I turn 43 later this year, but I also started some new anti-anxiety medication around the same time back when it began happening, so maybe it's just temporary until I figure out dose and when to take the medicine.

1
piefed.world

Commuting by bike exclusively, and training for racing from 2009-2014. I only ever got hit by 2 SUVs at one time, but that is the one that broke my neck and back in 2014. Most of the rest were from people turning in and out of driveways or parallel parking spots. In the six crashes, three I rode away from with only road rash from going down. Three of the seven were totalled SUVs. I was faster than most e-bikes before lithium battery e-bikes were really a mass market thing. Back then, I averaged around 400 miles per week on the bike. I was one of the most hardcore roadies out there.

24

My dad warned me about using bicycles and motorcycles on the public roads based on his experience in the 50s. It was dangerous even then, and it's only gotten worse with the number of cars and roads designed strictly for automobiles in general. Driving in traffic in a big car is scary enough; the people out there are insane.

I looked into an e-bike for getting to work a few years back. The range and time would have worked, and I travel during the light hours. But I couldn't find a safe way to make it happen, even through back roads. Probably for the best, eventually someone would probably have got me.

12

I've gotten 8 hours a half dozen times in 12 years. Most are 3-5hrs. It will be what kills me... along with all the other stuff. Don't break your spine. Not recommended. Thanks tho.

2
_stranger_reply
lemmy.world

Try not to get hit by any cars on the way through the parking lot!

Damn, that joke falls pretty flat when you change dicks to cars.

10
Broadfernreply
lemmy.world

“Try not to get hit by any cars on the way through the dicks lot”

2
lemmy.blahaj.zone

I am at the stage where I either sleep 4 hours or sleep 12 hours

Yea my sleep schedule is destroyed

23
AceOnTrackreply
lemmy.blahaj.zone

And the best part is you don't know which one you'll get when you go to bed.

Barely standing awake at 10 fighting to keep your eyes open when you finally go to bed? Wide awake at 1 in the morning.

Browsing the internet at midnight because you are clearly not tired? You open your eyes and it's mid afternoon.

11
Baguettereply
lemmy.blahaj.zone

Doesn't help that I live too far north that it's just always dark or cloudy

I wake up and it could be any time of the day until I check my clock

5

A touch more than dreary if you ask me. We’re just mobile plants, turns out, after months without the sun, your body just like… doesn’t do as well. You get more easily depressed, sleep changes, and even diet problems tend to creep in.

2
untorquerreply
lemmy.world

Winter can be if the weather stays warm and wet. For me if there's snow on the ground it's fine. With a full moon it almost feels like daytime.

The summers are incredible though! You do need to invest in blackout shades.

1
lemmy.world

I live in California where it's almost always sunny except recently. It gets hard for me because I love grey weather and snow and stuff. I can always go up the mountain for the snow but I want to be trapped in my home for a week or something due to snow I just romanticize that sort of thing.

2

I think i understand you're making hyperbole but i can say 5ft of snow in two weeks was pretty easy to manage and i was never stuck. Just had to clear the walkway/driveway on the daily for a bit. That and i was being a cheap-ass and doing it myself with a hand-held electric blower instead of paying for a plow like the rest of the neighborhood.

It was definitely a lot of work back before when i just had a shovel. 125m(400ft) is a lot of ground to cover.

1

40+ here and the only reason why I don't sometimes sleep well is because I chose to play games until 2am.

22
jlai.lu

at 35 I need the ear plugs, the right temperature, to feel clean, the eye mask if there's any light source at all, and to lay on my left side with a 7cm thick pillow at just the right angle so my head rests without touching the occipital area

20
Hadriscusreply
jlai.lu

I... I don't know where this is going, but I have a few cats, yes. Not in the same room, they usually sleep in the living room. Is this related to the parasite ?

5
feddit.org

It's late here and I'm tired so I first read "I sleep in the poo of god" and thought about it for a while before reading the rest of the sentence and then reading the whole thing again...

15

Poo of god is kind of an interesting analogy for the matrix.

I just read it as sleeping in neo’s goo. Thinking they must be intimately involved with Keanu Reeves.

3

Pretty much my wife since 35. Good news is she no longer gets mad at me for sleeping like a rock with little effort.

16
lemmy.world

So my only major issue is my normal brand of shoes changed thier foot bed insert and it wholly fucked up my back and knee after a week.

I thought I just needed to break them in, I've had to buy a new pair of shoes that don't maim me instead now, which is a new experience at 38.

15
tempestreply
lemmy.ca

That causes me to fall asleep quickly and then wake up 2 to 3 hours later feeling exhausted

Then it messes with my sleep the rest of the week....

21

If by that you mean 8 or 10 vodkas, then yes. I try that regularly.

4
feddit.online

Ooh boy just you wait til you realize you're just napping in between having to wake up to piss 3 times in the night.

11

I stopped drinking fluids three hours before sleep and that's helped. Just have to hydrate well early in the day.

Doesn't work if i drink any alcoholic or sugary beverages.

4
lemmy.world

Is "a fan" here a person who stands next to your sleeping body in the dark and watches you? In that case I don't want one.

10
lemmy.ca

Barley husk pillows are the bomb.

Ultra firm but able to squish with your head. Stay cool too

10
MisterDreply
lemmy.ca

The one I got was from a place called ComfyComfy

I don't know if they are still around

2
lemmy.world

I sleep well as long as my wife is there. She can roll us from one side of the bed to the other or off it even and I'll continue sleeping like a rock. The moment she's sick or has trouble sleeping is when I also have trouble sleeping, which is fine with me.

I do sometimes miss being younger and sleeping any where, any time though.

10

Just sleep on that futon again for a month. You will sleep like a baby when you sleep in bed again.

8
lemmy.world

Best thing for sleep was a CPAP (in my case anyways). I can make a cocoon with blankets and even cover my head since I can breathe via the machine. Best I've ever slept.

7

That's what the fan is for. I leave a strategic gap between bed and blanket to allow for airflow. Works especially well when turned against wall, then I breathe through the gap between bed and the wall.

I can't sleep with my head uncovered.

4
sh.itjust.works

That much melatonin will give you weird sweat nightmares. I just mention this because a lot of people think more mg = more sleep but at 10+ mg melatonin does real weird shit to your REM cycle. Most evidence shows that the optimal dose is often less than 1 mg. Just in case you're curious.

7

I've hard that dietary melatonin is generally best to avoid unless suggested by your physician.

2

It's good to reevaluate your habits now and then. Because with time, they always accumulate. And changing them is good for mental flexibility and against neurodegenerative diseases in higher age too.

6
lemmy.world

100 dollar pillow...

You gotta pump those numbers up, those are rookie numbers. I got a $300 pillow. Hell yes I'm flexing it, the feeling it gives my body justifies it.

6
ickplantreply
lemmy.world

Well, don’t just tease! Does the fucking pillow work? If yes, what’s the brand?

3
lemmy.world

Oh fuck yeah it works. It's a tempurpedic Breeze Pro king size. Haven't had neck pain waking up even once since I got it back in October. Absolutely worth it for me. Plus it keeps cool which is tits.

6
lemmy.world

Make sure it suits your style of sleeping. They have many options for different needs. They're all fantastic but this was best for me.

3
ickplantreply
lemmy.world

I’m looking at them now and realizing I may need to go to a store to try them out.

3

Def recommend that. That's what I did. But keep in mind, at mattress stores those pillows are usually fully broken in. It can take a few weeks for the pillow to fully break in so if you get one and doesn't feel the same that's why. I see a lot of negative reviews from people not reading the material included with it. If it feels good broken in at the store it will still be great brand new but it gets better. Also recommend running it in the dryer a few times with something scented because the foam has a smell from the factory that lingers a long while otherwise.

3
Korhakareply
sopuli.xyz

What makes a good pillow worth spending on? I don't mind buying expensive bedding but I want to know it's actually worth it if I do.

3
lemmy.world

For me it was my tossing and turning to get comfortable which became neck and back pain in the morning. I read about pillows helping and realized I've been using the same Walmart pillow for years. Did some research then tried it out and bought it immediately. I sleep better, no more pain in the morning, and my sheets aren't being ripped off at night from my trying to get comfortable.

3
lemmy.world

Get you a good pillow for your style of sleeping. My next big purchase will be a super nice pillow case. What you got?

3
literature.cafe

It's silk, because apparently it's the least likely material to rip out fine hair when sleeping. As for the pillow being trash, it's what I like. I can fold it, double it, squash it, twist it into a bowtie inside of the pillowcase, and it works great and I don't have to feel like I'm messing it up.

1
lemmy.world

45: $20,000 in sinus surgery so you aren't halfway suffocating while you sleep.

6

Got a coworker where his sinuses just built up again or something after a few years and his doctor told him he'd have to have it done again. Best of luck to you.

4

cannot confirm, there has never been a time in my life when I was able to fall asleep easily when I should, not in my childhood, not teenage years, nor more recently :(

5
lemmy.world

Exercise more, it helps a lot.

Humans were supposed to be walking 10-15km/day...hurray modern life and car culture :|

1

I don't own a car, but I suppose taking one single train to work (when I don't work from home) isn't very much exercise either.

1
SkyezOpenreply
lemmy.world

I slept on one of those pillows but I kept waking up with my arm extended straight out for some reason.

18
anarchist.nexus

44 and I get 7+ hours almost every night using very few accessories (memory foam mattress and pillow) as well as few doobies before bed. Chef's kiss

5
D_Creply
sh.itjust.works

Me: in my 50s. Latex mattress and lovely pillow, and I get 6 hours of shite sleep if I'm lucky. Mostly it's a few hours of sleep, an hour or so of being awake, a few more hours of tossing and turning in semi sleep.
(Though I do probably have some form of undiagnosed ADHD. My brain refuses to turn off)

My wife: same mattress with slightly different pillows. 9 hours of snoring like a dragon sleep easily...and I then have to wake her a few times in the morning or she'd sleep until noon.

It's just the hand I was dealt.

5

I have the brain not turning off thing. Listening to something makes it much easier to fall asleep. Youtube videos, rain sounds or one of my favorites: hair dryer youtube vidoes. I got a 10h one downloaded on my phone. Might annoy the wife tho if she ain't cool. Ya dig?

2

Is this good or bad? Fitbit says within the range for my age group, if a bit on the low end.

1
lemmy.world

I just want a pillow that doesn't put pressure on my ear, but also isn't stupidly soft to the point it doesn't support my neck. The Simba hybrid pillow was good for the first few months, but now just scrunches up against the headboard when I'm sleeping and I wake up with my neck at what feels like a 45° angle..

4

I got one of those pillows with a chunk in the middle hollowed out and it helps a lot if you have trouble squishing your ears. Mine’s a memory foam type with a rectangle cut out. A lot of them are mini (for newly pierced ears) so make sure it’s a regular sized pillow.

3
piefed.social

At this point I'm considering a colostomy bag so I don't have to go to the bathroom 5 times during the night 

4

Check with your doctor, you might have sleep apnea. It is well documented that sleep apnea can be the root cause of nocturnia.

2

you will have to deal with the potential smell and dumping the poop. you dont want that thing fermenting and festering in your bag.

1

I’m 39 and I need standard bed setup, or a couch with the tv blaring.

3

35 and just moved to the futon, actually 2 futons, because I couldn't get used to just the 1. I'm hoping I can get used to it, and move back to 1.

3

I'm 50 and my occupational therapist just ordered me a $571 (fully covered by healthcare benefits) side-sleeping shoulder freedom pillow. Am a very happy girl.

2

I've officially reached a stage of middle age where my spouse and I stopped sharing a bed. I do sleep with my dog though, who is very snuggly.

2