I operate a decentralized, sustainability-focused aquatic-resource acquisition methodology utilizing precision-guided line-and-lure interface systems to facilitate targeted biomass retrieval.
All it does is convey that the person saying it thinks their job is bullshit and that they're insecure about it. So they either have impostor syndrome or their job is genuinely bullshit.
If you ask me what my job is and then you ask for clarification because you don't know what that job is, those are two separate questions.
Just because a person does not understand a job does not mean that it's a BS job. By that logic a cyber security analyst is a BS job. But you would sure as hell would notice if all of them went away.
Yes, our society makes lots of bullshit jobs. That's because capitalism can only keep people employed by creating bullshit jobs, and unemployed people are six missed meals away from revolution. That is not the fault of the people who have bullshit jobs.
And no, I won't accept "this is just a shitposting sub, lighten up" as a response. This is just another form of kicking down, and it isn't funny. The working class needs solidarity, not this.
Yes, our society makes lots of bullshit jobs. That's because capitalism can only keep people employed by creating bullshit jobs, and unemployed people are six missed meals away from revolution
Couldn't be further from reality. Capitalist firms actively hire the least amount of people possible, because if they can get away with equal production and lower number of employees, that means higher profit.
Capitalism is actually the only system in human history with unemployment: it wasn't a thing in hunter-gatherer society, it wasn't a thing in early agricultural societies, it wasn't a thing during the times of slavery, it wasn't a thing during feudalism, and it hasn't been a thing in any communist nation such as Cuba or the USSR (both guaranteeing jobs to every citizen as a right, and the latter having 10% of all positions vacant from 1970 onward).
Capitalism maintains an unemployed sector of the population because:
Employing more workers costs more money to firms
Having high unemployment decreases wages, improving profits of firms
Having a pool of unemployed people allows firms to spawn, grow and mutate without difficulty of finding workers to do so.
If a fisherman says "I operate the winch on a bowpicker tuna fishing boat", is that a bullshit job?
If a middle-management yes-man who exists only to fluff his boss' ego describes his job as "I encourage excellence" does that mean his job is no longer bullshit?
A lot of managers are pretty useless. Some degree of management is needed because you can't just have 10,000 individual contributors all reporting directly to the CEO. But, a lot of managers get where they are by schmoozing, claiming credit, shifting blame, avoiding responsibility, etc.
Extreme physical danger of drowning, hypothermia, severe injury, insane hours, unpredictable income, huge mental and emotional stress in an industry that often damages the environment and is plagued with human rights abuses?
This comic feels like it was written by the fisherman.
Or one of those boomers, who really wanted AI to replace all the intellectual workers, so they either can be stay-at-home mothers or go to "real manly jobs".
I am an aquatic resource acquisition specialist leveraging distributed ecosystem monitoring, real-time biological signal analytics, and manual-mechanical retrieval interfaces to optimize biomass extraction.
Maybe they should leak the tech so that everyone's missiles can be more accurate and have less collateral damage. Giving missile targeting systems to, say, Al Qaida is ethical, actually? 🤔
I don't make the targeting systems. I make the carbon fiberhousing for the targeting systems. Deep blue collar job in the bluest collar town you can imagine.
I get disability benefit trapping me in dependence on the system under threat of impoverishment, destitution, starvation, freezing, if i dare ever attempt to do anything productive, or even look like it, or even not. Paid to do nothing.
Same. I don’t work because I like my stupid ass job. I work because I like everything outside my job and some of these things are in dire need of being financed.
Saying "I catch fish" is as descriptive as the first guy saying "sales analyst". Second person is a software developer, third guy is a systems architect. So you catch fish? Sure. What kind? On a river? In the ocean? Do you really just press a button that rolls up a big net full of turtles and dolphins as well and you're destroying the delicate balance of a fragile ecosystem? Are you a fishing guide?
Anyone can describe their job in three words. Understanding it is on you, man.
The whole concept is more akin to whether or not you are working directly with the material fruits of your labor, or if you're some secondary or tertiary job to the actual work being done.
Basically, their view is that if you are not directly making the product or apart of the physical logistics for that product, then you're in a bullshit job. I would not say I agree with the philosophy myself, but i kind of get it. 'I farm Corn', 'I Truck frozen food', and 'I catch fish', do exist in a very different realm from 'I manage a team of QA specialists', 'I am an Advertisement Consultant', and 'I contribute to my company's server backend codebase'.
The problem, to me, is that not everyone on a boat is catching fish. There are plenty of different roles. It's just that people outside the industry don't have a concept of the nuanced differences between roles, so it gets simplified to "I catch fish" even if they aren't involved in catching fish at all. Most people outside of tech have no idea between the different roles that exist in tech either. It wasn't too long ago where no matter your role in tech, you'd tell laymen, "I work in IT" as a catchall for any technical role
Oh, I think it checks out. Maybe it should be "fly to space" or "fly rocket ships", but the point of the job is the trip. Unless -- hmm. Did explorers of yesteryear have BS jobs, too?
We need to lower standards. Really. To something like "if your job makes other people worse, it's bullshit work". A lot of good people do stupid job just to put food on the table
I do job, I now also do job that's a bit like my job, I now also do John's job,I now also do Jane's job, I now also do the third party's job.
I'm a developer I'm a devops technology admin engineer receptionist oh and just now cleaner as well
Also I don't. I am not a funeral director and the cemetery does that. I do paperwork, make cards and signs, pay bills, move bodies and make sure they are where they are supposed to be.
Though I don't agree with that person's definition of "bullshit job". Read Bullshit Jobs (the book) if you haven't, the website has all or most of its contents.
First one: i analyse sales.
Second one: i automate production
Third one: i'm a fucking idiot
It doesn't fit
Imma fucking idiot
I know you are, but what I am too, also.
Don’t be like that, Imma.
well the job is BS so...
I am idijit
"I'm Stupid" works
Nom nom nom.
Going further with wikipedias article and some of their bullshit jobs listed:
Telemarketing: I sell stuff.
Corporare lawyer: I explain law.
Academic administratrors: I administer students/professors
Compliance officer: I check compliance.
Corporate lawyer would be : i'm an asshole
That's also most lawmakers/politicians/lobbyists
I write code
(It's still a bullshit job)
I generate bugs.
Honest.
I make programs
I make problems
Problems make me.
student?
teacher?
I make bugs
The techy kind or the crawly kind?
Practical problems, solve
3 people above the fisherman:
Fisherman:
I think the meme is saying that if you know your job is bullshit, you obfuscate what you do behind a thick layer of corpospeak.
Everyone likes to act like they're more important than they are.
Ironically the fisherman might actually be worse ethically and ecologically.
And that impulse is borne out of insecurity.
Being aware of the system doesn't make you immune from the system.
All it does is convey that the person saying it thinks their job is bullshit and that they're insecure about it. So they either have impostor syndrome or their job is genuinely bullshit.
In the OP, all the speech bubbles are answers to "What do you do at your job?" I challenge you to try again with that in mind
"I press buttons"
I appease Machine-spirits.
Somehow feels less self-immolating than appeasing billionaire-spirits
If you ask me what my job is and then you ask for clarification because you don't know what that job is, those are two separate questions.
Just because a person does not understand a job does not mean that it's a BS job. By that logic a cyber security analyst is a BS job. But you would sure as hell would notice if all of them went away.
I suck dick
Nice to see you here Mr. President.
Ah, it's nice to meet another fellow customer service rep.
So I either have a bullshit job "I design chips for isosychronous low-latency networks" or a real job "I herd electrons"...
You do math.
Is this really the message we want to send?
Yes, our society makes lots of bullshit jobs. That's because capitalism can only keep people employed by creating bullshit jobs, and unemployed people are six missed meals away from revolution. That is not the fault of the people who have bullshit jobs.
And no, I won't accept "this is just a shitposting sub, lighten up" as a response. This is just another form of kicking down, and it isn't funny. The working class needs solidarity, not this.
When I first saw this (maybe years ago), it was posted on sites to mock this thinking.
Yeah, someone believes it to have made this. But yeah, that person sucks.
Agreed, but I refuse to extend that acceptance to most consultants.
Yeah I really don't like the "blue collar good tech bad" undertone here
Further reading: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullshit_Jobs
Couldn't be further from reality. Capitalist firms actively hire the least amount of people possible, because if they can get away with equal production and lower number of employees, that means higher profit.
Capitalism is actually the only system in human history with unemployment: it wasn't a thing in hunter-gatherer society, it wasn't a thing in early agricultural societies, it wasn't a thing during the times of slavery, it wasn't a thing during feudalism, and it hasn't been a thing in any communist nation such as Cuba or the USSR (both guaranteeing jobs to every citizen as a right, and the latter having 10% of all positions vacant from 1970 onward).
Capitalism maintains an unemployed sector of the population because:
Employing more workers costs more money to firms
Having high unemployment decreases wages, improving profits of firms
Having a pool of unemployed people allows firms to spawn, grow and mutate without difficulty of finding workers to do so.
I write code. ✔️ Real job.
I chop down trees. ❌ Bullshit job.
I jack lumber.
I jack off
I fell trees!
you can use "fell" as a transitive verb. it's a little archaic but sounds cozy.
Is this a war on being specific?
If a fisherman says "I operate the winch on a bowpicker tuna fishing boat", is that a bullshit job?
If a middle-management yes-man who exists only to fluff his boss' ego describes his job as "I encourage excellence" does that mean his job is no longer bullshit?
I guide people
Why is everyone always annoyed at managers?
A lot of managers are pretty useless. Some degree of management is needed because you can't just have 10,000 individual contributors all reporting directly to the CEO. But, a lot of managers get where they are by schmoozing, claiming credit, shifting blame, avoiding responsibility, etc.
Extreme physical danger of drowning, hypothermia, severe injury, insane hours, unpredictable income, huge mental and emotional stress in an industry that often damages the environment and is plagued with human rights abuses?
This comic feels like it was written by the fisherman.
Or one of those boomers, who really wanted AI to replace all the intellectual workers, so they either can be stay-at-home mothers or go to "real manly jobs".
Yeah as if farmers aren't using gps guidance climate models soil analysis and gmo/selection etc to try and eke out some profit vs the megacorps.
This comic looks like it was drawn by the fisherman.
I'm pretty sure that it was definitely not made by anyone who's a fisher.
I am an aquatic resource acquisition specialist leveraging distributed ecosystem monitoring, real-time biological signal analytics, and manual-mechanical retrieval interfaces to optimize biomass extraction.
I fix shit
Everybody do the flop!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KWotO76SuXE
i make websites
Can confirm this works, since fullstack is a real job, but I can’t describe my frontend bullshit in 3 words.
try "I break interfaces"
People still prefer our crap over curl for some reason 🤣
"Refrigerator Wifi Firmware"
3 words, but my job is still bullshit.
So you're the guy responsible for ads? Get him everyone!
You’ve been tagged as fridge ads. 🤭
You are the firmware?
"I hate it". Does this count?
Make missiles hit.
Maybe don't.
You'd think that would help but it probably means they just send more missiles and hit more random things around the target.
Maybe they should leak the tech so that everyone's missiles can be more accurate and have less collateral damage. Giving missile targeting systems to, say, Al Qaida is ethical, actually? 🤔
I don't make the targeting systems. I make the carbon fiberhousing for the targeting systems. Deep blue collar job in the bluest collar town you can imagine.
He’s a fertility doc.
Emails and meetings
You just successfully described 95% of modern office jobs
I code
The requirements said three words, that's how know you're a dev and not a PM pretending to be technical.
"I write code"
I make art.
^ real job.
I get disability benefit trapping me in dependence on the system under threat of impoverishment, destitution, starvation, freezing, if i dare ever attempt to do anything productive, or even look like it, or even not. Paid to do nothing.
^ real bullshit job.
Oh what a great system you have there. >:[
My job is bullshit, but my job is not who I am.
Same. I don’t work because I like my stupid ass job. I work because I like everything outside my job and some of these things are in dire need of being financed.
Generate shareholder value
"Hey look buddy, I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems."
Fucking cartoonist. You draw pictures. Lol
OPs has distilled his job title from 'political agitation meme technician' to 'shitposter'.
I jerk off.
Almost everybody??
I have a limited number of appointments available. Easy, but not cheap.
Refreshments and Narcotics
(an old joke about registered nurses)
I fix things.
Saying "I catch fish" is as descriptive as the first guy saying "sales analyst". Second person is a software developer, third guy is a systems architect. So you catch fish? Sure. What kind? On a river? In the ocean? Do you really just press a button that rolls up a big net full of turtles and dolphins as well and you're destroying the delicate balance of a fragile ecosystem? Are you a fishing guide?
Anyone can describe their job in three words. Understanding it is on you, man.
The whole concept is more akin to whether or not you are working directly with the material fruits of your labor, or if you're some secondary or tertiary job to the actual work being done.
Basically, their view is that if you are not directly making the product or apart of the physical logistics for that product, then you're in a bullshit job. I would not say I agree with the philosophy myself, but i kind of get it. 'I farm Corn', 'I Truck frozen food', and 'I catch fish', do exist in a very different realm from 'I manage a team of QA specialists', 'I am an Advertisement Consultant', and 'I contribute to my company's server backend codebase'.
Also, yeah, the 3-word rule of thumb sucks.
The problem, to me, is that not everyone on a boat is catching fish. There are plenty of different roles. It's just that people outside the industry don't have a concept of the nuanced differences between roles, so it gets simplified to "I catch fish" even if they aren't involved in catching fish at all. Most people outside of tech have no idea between the different roles that exist in tech either. It wasn't too long ago where no matter your role in tech, you'd tell laymen, "I work in IT" as a catchall for any technical role
Thank you for your insight.
The concept is still bullshit. You can describe any job in three words to the same extent that "I catch fish" is informative. That's all I'm saying.
What does a Astronaut do in 3 words?
Go to space
IDK if that checks out.
'Go to house' wouldn't describe what a builder does, nor would 'go to ocean' describe what a fisherman does.
It describes something going to a location, but not what you do.
TIL astronaut is a BS job
Going to that location is a much bigger part of the astronaut job than it is any other job you've listed.
Oh, I think it checks out. Maybe it should be "fly to space" or "fly rocket ships", but the point of the job is the trip. Unless -- hmm. Did explorers of yesteryear have BS jobs, too?
Vacuum the moon.
I do things
Cum on camera
OF is a real job
I move files
Everything is a file
I help people.
Cool, I have a real job.
Tom, 32, school crossing guard.
I draw lines
You draw lines? I draw lines, too!
Can you draw three lines perpendicular to each other?
Yes, easily
Heck yea, it's computer aided and shit
I break software
Hello there, fellow QA
Howdy fellow nightmare for developers
I stack produce
I can't say.
Found the glowie
I had to Google what that was. Not as exciting, I'm afraid.
I heal people
I like Turtles.
I fix houses.
That art style reminds me of hotline miami
I Beer Lego
We need to lower standards. Really. To something like "if your job makes other people worse, it's bullshit work". A lot of good people do stupid job just to put food on the table
I build PCs
Acronyms don't count, otherwise the two bullshit job dudes could just say "I'm an SFSA" and "I create BDRSs".
Fine, "I build computers".
'of the USA' is one world in some languages. still a bullshit job though
I manage systems
I know it is a shitpost but this fucking fisherman that kills animals and destroys our environment. He is the worst. Fuck you fisherman!
He also leaves nets in the sea when they tangle, because plastic is cheap and fuck the ocean is their preferred pronoun.
I do nothing
✅ Real job
Thx
i catch fish (and then they rot on his ship, because thats all he does)
still bad quality. but compression hasn't gotten that bad yet...
grocery in bag
for my other... thing?
study and cry
I pull beef
test
I suck dicks
Presidential material right here, folks.
I photograph bones ☠️
I fix/break things.
Sysadmin or if you insist Systems Administrator.
My printer is acting crazy, I know it's your lunch, but can you help me out?
Situations like this are what the DND button on my phone was made for.
DM'd you the solution
I tried unplugging it, but now I don't even have an error light.
Nvm I fixed it thanks
Audio Visual! My job is so much fun!
I manufacture biologics.
Make websites brrrrr
I do job, I now also do job that's a bit like my job, I now also do John's job,I now also do Jane's job, I now also do the third party's job.
I'm a developerI'm a devops technology admin engineer receptionist oh and just now cleaner as wellI verb nouns
Finding better microbes
ironically these examples are pretty close to what would actually qualify as bullshit job
And here i was about to go pro gooner 🤦
I temper glass.
I pay sickleaves.. That's 3 words right ?
I shop for people
Stay away Roman slaver!
i design graphics
I fix equipment
I make babies.
I Funeral Home...
Fuck.
I bury corpses.
Hmm, that actually sounds like you run body disposal for organized crime.
Also I don't. I am not a funeral director and the cemetery does that. I do paperwork, make cards and signs, pay bills, move bodies and make sure they are where they are supposed to be.
Numeric question answering.
I melt plastic?
I load/unload planes
If someone is willing to pay you enough to live for a bullshit job, is it really a bullshit job?
Yes.
Though I don't agree with that person's definition of "bullshit job". Read Bullshit Jobs (the book) if you haven't, the website has all or most of its contents.
That makes it even more bullshit because the person paying knows it's bullshit.