Femal Aquaintance- "You can't be bi, you're married! Wait...do you cheat on -=wife=-?!?"
Me - "Of course I can, and no I don't cheat."
Female Aquaintance - "But you're married! Doesn't -=wife=- have a problem with it?"
Me - "No. She's bi too."
Female Aquaintance -"But she's married!!!"
Two weeks later she got drunk and wanted a threesome, then got annoyed that we turned her down. I have no idea why people immediately assume that bi means "will fuck anyone that asks".
Online dating as a bi woman is grim. It's annoying, because in certain contexts, I'd be up for casually fooling around with a couple, but when you think you're going on a date with a woman and then her surprise boyfriend shows up, it's gross and predatory
I am a straight man. Hello everyone. I hope you're all having a wonderful day.
Also a fact, I support all peoples choices in terms of what they like and how they identify. Not sure why I would care if someone else wants to be gay, bi, trans, hereto/cis, queer, lesbian, etc. I'm not those things, I'm not sure why it would bother anyone that someone else likes things? Whatever.
Also a fact from a straight guy, aka, straight fact.
While I can recognise that some masculine figures are handsome/good looking, I do not.... And I can't stress this enough.... I do not feel any attraction to men.
They can be rather good looking, but that doesn't make me want to get them naked and fool around.
If you have excitement in your pants for someone of the same gender, well.... I have news for you.... And there's nothing wrong with that.
Be who you are. Anybody who gives a shit is probably not worth knowing.
A term that I find useful is "platonic aesthetic attraction".
It's a term that I learned through the ace community when I was going through the common bisexual experience of "am I bi though, or am I just asexual?". It turned out I was bi, but I find the split model of attraction is a useful framework.
Platonic Aesthetic attraction is when you're able to see someone and go "now that is a beautiful man", but not experience any attraction in the conventional sense of the word. I personally find it useful because even though I do experience sexual or romantic attraction to people of all genders, that doesn't mean I experience that for everyone. Sometimes a beautiful person is just a beautiful person.
Edit: got mixed up, and said "Platonic attraction" when I meant "aesthetic attraction". Thanks to @[email protected] for the correction
This reminds me a lot of love. People can't, or don't, by default, differentiate different forms of love, though, there are many.
If you express love for anyone that isn't blood related, the implication is that you want to copulate with them, and often, that's far from the truth.
I love a lot of people, but not in that way. Right now, the only person I love who I want to copulate with is my partner. At the same time, I have a large group of friends that I also love, as a kind of trust and friendship love, though they're not related to me through blood, in any way, shape, or form (Besides us both being human, I guess).
Commoners in society are extremely reductive, so the nuances of such things often escape them.
You can like, love or even find something attractive, and that doesn't define you. You define yourself. That's the privilege of sapience. We can decide such things about ourselves.
I like the term aesthetic attraction. That's useful.
There are plenty of women I find aesthetically attractive, and some that I find attractive in the hormone surge kind of way, but only rarely do they hold appeal for me as a potential partner, and personality plays a massive role there.
I can tell that some men are aesthetically handsome, but without the hormone rush.
I’ve always heard platonic attraction as a strong desire to form a deep platonic connection with a specific person. It’s wanting to be close with a person and form a deep bond, but no sexual or physical connection.
I think you’re just describing finding a person attractive vs being attracted to a person. I haven’t heard a term for it before.
For me it's not even that. I have zero clue about men being good lucking or not except for those who look similar to someone that has been described to me as good lucking or not.
With women I have "some" clue in general and then there's also some women that I personally find very attractive and others don't. But even the most beautiful women don't really give me any desire to do anything sexual with them unless they (or myself) first do something to make me think of it - so I might be closer to ace than actually straight.
This is why i like the term "handsome", i can absolutely recognize that george clooney is handsome, but even as someone who has explored their sexuality as far as possible thanks to the help of the internet i can't even enjoy the idea of him in a sexual context with the hottest woman i've ever imagined.
It's something that makes me wonder if everyone who watches "straight" porn is actually really quite bi/pan, because i just.. can't really enjoy it? It's doable if all you see of the guy is the junk, but if you actually see the dude's body it's like when you make food that's not gross but also not tasty, so you just sorta eat it dispassionately..
And this is coming from someone who actually REALLY likes dicks, and some very very specific kinds of guys. Despite those things i just find the idea of attraction to normal guys utterly baffling.
Meh, you’re a little gay. ‘Attractive’ has no objective meaning, some just are to you. You’re just not gay enough to fuck. A little gay and a little straight is called bi. But really it’s just a spectrum and it can change over time. What’s important to you, and lots of people, is how you identify. And you’re correct that doesn’t and shouldn’t matter because it has no affect on other’s lives. Now…let the hate for my opinion flow
I like your opinion. You can consider me to be bi if you want.
I don't identify that way and I'm not so insecure that someone having a different opinion about me, bothers me in the slightest. You do you, my friend.
I really appreciate your response, I strive to be that chill especially on these topics that are so knee jerk for me! I wasn’t trying to label anyone only to put the words in their place which are as tools of description not prescription. I see I caught you in there when I could have used a hypothetical. My apologies
And then the goalposts move to "Oh you have had sex with men and women? Well you're dating a woman now so clearly it was just a phase you're not actually bi"
Had the exact same conversation with my super Christian mom. In front of some siblings. It was amazing.
She was arguing that we need to stop normalizing LGBT stuff because anyone can swing both ways.
I told her straight people can't swing both ways, if you can then you're bisexual. She did not like this, so we all took a poll and she was the only bi person in the room.
I think that's what happens a lot of time, and why there is a tiny truth to them saying things like "pride makes the kids gay".
It does not, but it might teach some bi sexuals that it's okay to be just that, and not force yourself to forget about the other half.
You can have sex with the same sex without being gay. Look at the porno industry for example. It's all about attraction when it comes to sexual orientation.
To be fair even if it doesn't make you gay, it's at least an indication that they're not.. not gay..
Because I would not have sex with someone i'm not attracted to, even if you paid me quite a lot of money for it. If i'm not sexually attracted to someone them i'm kind of by default averse to the idea of them in a sexual context at all.
I once saw a documentary from Louis Thereaux about the sex industry. There were gay movies being filmed, with the guys not being gay, but in a really bad position in life and this paid loads, so they just did it. Sometimes life goes south on you and desperation can push you really far beyond a boundary you never thought you would cross. So never say never.
Fk... Does that mean I'm bi. I just assumed it was like a spectrum and there was a bar you had to clear to be bi. Imperically out of 100 people I am attracted to 99 are men and 1 is women so I categorize myself as gay. However the number of women I'm attracted to isn't 0.
Sexuality is a spectrum. Straight/Gay doesn't mean no attraction to a particular sex, just that the attraction isn't significant. Not sure why he would think you need to have sex with both to qualify though.
Actual conversation I had regarding my sexuality:
Femal Aquaintance- "You can't be bi, you're married! Wait...do you cheat on -=wife=-?!?"
Me - "Of course I can, and no I don't cheat."
Female Aquaintance - "But you're married! Doesn't -=wife=- have a problem with it?"
Me - "No. She's bi too."
Female Aquaintance -"But she's married!!!"
Two weeks later she got drunk and wanted a threesome, then got annoyed that we turned her down. I have no idea why people immediately assume that bi means "will fuck anyone that asks".
Online dating as a bi woman is grim. It's annoying, because in certain contexts, I'd be up for casually fooling around with a couple, but when you think you're going on a date with a woman and then her surprise boyfriend shows up, it's gross and predatory
It really opens up the world of bored white middle class couple threesomes, though. They always pay for drinks and give fantastic Christmas gifts.
will you fuck me? (m25) /s
Sure, I just need the password to your bank account to verify your identity first.
MyMaiMayMiNyeMye
sure meet me at 935 Pennsylvania Ave., NW, Washington, DC 20535 for a thorough fucking
Straight people think you are OBLIGATED to do the sex.
Straight men are attracted to more than one women and therefore they're attracted to people who aren't their wife, so they must be cheating!
A self-own on par with loudly proclaiming women never get wet when aroused because it never happened to any women you've ever been with.
Surely nobody would ever say that.
True.
Well, not counting Ben Shapiro
I have met dudes who vehemently claim the female orgasm doesn't exist because they've never witnessed it
Ben Shapiro did. He said that his doctor wife told him that they don't get wet lol
One of the all time classic self-owns
but my wife is a doctor and she agrees because she's never been wet!
You're not a pansexual until you've fucked a cast iron skillet
TIL that I am pansexual, though I might be a bit rusty.
boo
AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
You can never prove you're pansexual but your degree of confidence increases for each gender you've fucked. I think that's pretty Bayesed
Based Bayesian statistics jokes are the kind of shit I come to lemmy for
I disagree, but then i do have two buttholes so maybe i'm bi-assed
What if I just do it to treat my anemia but don’t enjoy it 🤔
i put a cast iron in the dishwasher what does that make me
A domestic abuser
Or if you are Japanese not until you have fucked a loaf of bread.
(Bread is pan in Japanese)
This bagel used to be a bun
This unironically
That or an alien.
Learn what pan means dorks if you're not into being impregnated by the fruiting bodies of the Xlllirrreast you're a fake pan
"I beg to differ"
Just be sure you don't wash it after you fuck it. Just a quick scrub with salt and a light coat of olive oil.
You’re not really bisexual unless you have sex with every woman and every man
This is inaccurate bisexual is when you've had sex twice
it's twice a year, or once every other year
No no, I have strong evidence to suggest that's called, "marriage"
Yeah, I never understood biannual either.
No, that’s a bisexual year with one more day
I think thats omnisexual
That would require enbies too. And maybe some other sapient beings that don't share our concept of sex and/or gender.
Let's please just all agree that it only includes beings that pass the harkness test
That's when you're attracted to J. K. Simmons
that's called having functional ears.
My new years resolution is to become a better bisexual.
oh so you're bisexual huh? name every man and every woman.
So you just need to have sex with Whitney Houston and Buddy Jewell?
If you’re serious about it, yes, no exceptions.
Whitney Houston is every woman and Buddy Jewell is every man.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I%27m_Every_Woman
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fo7-tgDQM9g
Your comment deserves more views. That is such a solid fucking joke.
Big if true
So virgins are asexual?
I'm a dad, as far as I'm concerned anyone who hasn't reproduced sexually is asexual.
chad.jpg
you say you have sex you haven't reproduced? that's called a failsexual
Might as well have been imitating JD Vance and humping couches like a confused dog
Straight facts:
I am a straight man. Hello everyone. I hope you're all having a wonderful day.
Also a fact, I support all peoples choices in terms of what they like and how they identify. Not sure why I would care if someone else wants to be gay, bi, trans, hereto/cis, queer, lesbian, etc. I'm not those things, I'm not sure why it would bother anyone that someone else likes things? Whatever.
Also a fact from a straight guy, aka, straight fact.
While I can recognise that some masculine figures are handsome/good looking, I do not.... And I can't stress this enough.... I do not feel any attraction to men.
They can be rather good looking, but that doesn't make me want to get them naked and fool around.
If you have excitement in your pants for someone of the same gender, well.... I have news for you.... And there's nothing wrong with that.
Be who you are. Anybody who gives a shit is probably not worth knowing.
A term that I find useful is "
platonicaesthetic attraction".It's a term that I learned through the ace community when I was going through the common bisexual experience of "am I bi though, or am I just asexual?". It turned out I was bi, but I find the split model of attraction is a useful framework.
PlatonicAesthetic attraction is when you're able to see someone and go "now that is a beautiful man", but not experience any attraction in the conventional sense of the word. I personally find it useful because even though I do experience sexual or romantic attraction to people of all genders, that doesn't mean I experience that for everyone. Sometimes a beautiful person is just a beautiful person.Edit: got mixed up, and said "Platonic attraction" when I meant "aesthetic attraction". Thanks to @[email protected] for the correction
This reminds me a lot of love. People can't, or don't, by default, differentiate different forms of love, though, there are many.
If you express love for anyone that isn't blood related, the implication is that you want to copulate with them, and often, that's far from the truth.
I love a lot of people, but not in that way. Right now, the only person I love who I want to copulate with is my partner. At the same time, I have a large group of friends that I also love, as a kind of trust and friendship love, though they're not related to me through blood, in any way, shape, or form (Besides us both being human, I guess).
Commoners in society are extremely reductive, so the nuances of such things often escape them.
You can like, love or even find something attractive, and that doesn't define you. You define yourself. That's the privilege of sapience. We can decide such things about ourselves.
What you're describing is aesthetic attraction I think. Platonic attraction is more like advanced friendship afaik, more based on personality.
Ah yeah, I got mixed up. Thanks for the correction
No problem :3
I like the term aesthetic attraction. That's useful.
There are plenty of women I find aesthetically attractive, and some that I find attractive in the hormone surge kind of way, but only rarely do they hold appeal for me as a potential partner, and personality plays a massive role there.
I can tell that some men are aesthetically handsome, but without the hormone rush.
I’ve always heard platonic attraction as a strong desire to form a deep platonic connection with a specific person. It’s wanting to be close with a person and form a deep bond, but no sexual or physical connection.
I think you’re just describing finding a person attractive vs being attracted to a person. I haven’t heard a term for it before.
For me it's not even that. I have zero clue about men being good lucking or not except for those who look similar to someone that has been described to me as good lucking or not.
With women I have "some" clue in general and then there's also some women that I personally find very attractive and others don't. But even the most beautiful women don't really give me any desire to do anything sexual with them unless they (or myself) first do something to make me think of it - so I might be closer to ace than actually straight.
i mean for me the sexiest feature is personality. no matter how fast you want to go, that generally reveals slower than say, flashing a titty.
Then again, taking your top off in public does reveal a lot about your personality.
This is why i like the term "handsome", i can absolutely recognize that george clooney is handsome, but even as someone who has explored their sexuality as far as possible thanks to the help of the internet i can't even enjoy the idea of him in a sexual context with the hottest woman i've ever imagined.
It's something that makes me wonder if everyone who watches "straight" porn is actually really quite bi/pan, because i just.. can't really enjoy it? It's doable if all you see of the guy is the junk, but if you actually see the dude's body it's like when you make food that's not gross but also not tasty, so you just sorta eat it dispassionately..
And this is coming from someone who actually REALLY likes dicks, and some very very specific kinds of guys. Despite those things i just find the idea of attraction to normal guys utterly baffling.
Meh, you’re a little gay. ‘Attractive’ has no objective meaning, some just are to you. You’re just not gay enough to fuck. A little gay and a little straight is called bi. But really it’s just a spectrum and it can change over time. What’s important to you, and lots of people, is how you identify. And you’re correct that doesn’t and shouldn’t matter because it has no affect on other’s lives. Now…let the hate for my opinion flow
I like your opinion. You can consider me to be bi if you want.
I don't identify that way and I'm not so insecure that someone having a different opinion about me, bothers me in the slightest. You do you, my friend.
I really appreciate your response, I strive to be that chill especially on these topics that are so knee jerk for me! I wasn’t trying to label anyone only to put the words in their place which are as tools of description not prescription. I see I caught you in there when I could have used a hypothetical. My apologies
I am unbothered my friend.
I appreciate you taking the time to recognise the fault in the statement. That's more maturity and self awareness than a lot of people have.
Keep that up.
Cheers.
And then the goalposts move to "Oh you have had sex with men and women? Well you're dating a woman now so clearly it was just a phase you're not actually bi"
and thus why the concept of polyamory terrifies people
You will deal 10% more damage if you never sleep with anyone
Sexual frustration bonus
Brain damage
I thought I became a wizard. Why am I dealing damage if I'm a wizard? That's wasting good slots that could be used with save-or-lose spells.
Because Fireball
You aren't pansexual unless you have had sex with every conceivable gender
Could you alternatively just have sex with one pangender and one agender person? Like a sort of gender min/maxing?
Gender min/maxing is a new favorite term of mine. Also yes
it's not your term, you just stole it
Not favourite-[term of mine] but [favourite term]-of mine obv. But grammar matters and you're right
i was actually joking
But what if my gender is...
🙋♀️
Had the exact same conversation with my super Christian mom. In front of some siblings. It was amazing.
She was arguing that we need to stop normalizing LGBT stuff because anyone can swing both ways.
I told her straight people can't swing both ways, if you can then you're bisexual. She did not like this, so we all took a poll and she was the only bi person in the room.
She's less homophobic now lol
I think that's what happens a lot of time, and why there is a tiny truth to them saying things like "pride makes the kids gay". It does not, but it might teach some bi sexuals that it's okay to be just that, and not force yourself to forget about the other half.
Wait, tell me what?
Is there a Lemmy Beetlejuicing community?
Be the change you want to see in the fediverse?
You can have sex with the same sex without being gay. Look at the porno industry for example. It's all about attraction when it comes to sexual orientation.
To be fair even if it doesn't make you gay, it's at least an indication that they're not.. not gay..
Because I would not have sex with someone i'm not attracted to, even if you paid me quite a lot of money for it. If i'm not sexually attracted to someone them i'm kind of by default averse to the idea of them in a sexual context at all.
I once saw a documentary from Louis Thereaux about the sex industry. There were gay movies being filmed, with the guys not being gay, but in a really bad position in life and this paid loads, so they just did it. Sometimes life goes south on you and desperation can push you really far beyond a boundary you never thought you would cross. So never say never.
By the way, I'm bisexual, I forgot.
Just tell them "Oh, you think the bi means two so you have to be with two people. Common misunderstanding."
Fk... Does that mean I'm bi. I just assumed it was like a spectrum and there was a bar you had to clear to be bi. Imperically out of 100 people I am attracted to 99 are men and 1 is women so I categorize myself as gay. However the number of women I'm attracted to isn't 0.
Don't overthink it. It's up to you. If you like, "gay" is perfectly cromulent shorthand for 99% gay.
The entirety of every male bro podcast compressed into a single comment
Sexuality is a spectrum. Straight/Gay doesn't mean no attraction to a particular sex, just that the attraction isn't significant. Not sure why he would think you need to have sex with both to qualify though.