Content is shared with all other bags of communal holding in existence. Sometimes retrieving objects involves awkward hand contact if someone else is using their bag at the same time.
Even more hilarious if you could accidentally pull out someone else trying to retrieve objects from the bag. Would be kind of awkward getting them back to their origin though...
A potion of True Healing... heals 1d8+2 damage, recipient MUST truthfully answer the next question they are asked. Sell the characters 6, but don't tell them about the truth serum. Let them figure it out on their own.
Boots of Elvenkind... except Elves can hear you.
A bag of holding that contains infinite clowns. Every time it is opened, 1d4 clowns come out. The clowns are useless in combat and attempt to distract, annoy and mock the holder. While this could be used as a distraction, the clowns will follow the holder, drawing attention to them. You could create a table for what kind of clowns you get (mime clowns, pie throwing clowns, balloon animal clowns, magician clowns, etc). The clowns will wander off after 1d6 minutes. Where the clowns go and what they are (Illusions? Demons?) is unknown.
There's so much role playing potential in the ability to create a giant mob of clowns at will by repeatedly opening and closing the bag. You almost don't need anything else!
Spawn them as a distraction!
Use them to hide!
Plug any entry or hallway at will!
Build yourself a mountain of clowns to scale any wall!
Never starve again with their endless supply of pies! (Eaten fresh off your face.)
Use their weight to bring down any air-/ship!
Air drop them on your enemies! (Assuming they have a weight and are bound by gravity, they do damage - all you need is a bit of levitation, a tower, airship or a ceiling to hang from.)
Just crush your entire party by spawning hundreds of them in a closed room!
I can't see any of these working as intended. Clowns don't subscribe to reality
Spawn them as a distraction!
Some of them cause a big distraction that accidentally points directly towards those you don't want to be seen.
Use them to hide!
One of them will look giant and big to hide you while the others honk and gesture/point behind, clearly showing where you are.
Build yourself a mountain of clowns to scale any wall!
Crabs in a bucket. None will let you climb. You must stay to hear their jokes...
Never starve again with their endless supply of pies!
Shaving cream pies. Ain't nobody got time to bake 30 coconut creams
Use their weight to bring down any air-/ship
They all blow up helium balloons to help it float. Unless you want it to float in which case their balloons turn into bowling balls at the last second with a big shrug.
Air drop them on their enemies!
See balloons
Just crush your entire party by spawning hundreds of them in a closed room!
Clown car logic. You're all "crushed" but it's just extremely difficult terrain.
Luckily, most of these arguments assume living clowns. Something that can be easily remedied, it just shifts the entire problem space to doing it fast enough!
If my PCs responded to the clowns this way, I would absolutely make the clowns demons and the "bag of holding" a portal to a circus themed layer of the Abyss. And that's the campaign now.
It turns out the ruler of this layer of the abyss appreciates your lust for violence and mass murder. That's probably not actually... good? For you?
Ring of attunement: Provides 1 extra attunement slot. (Requires attunement)
Event Staff: This staff allows the wielder to gain unquestioned entry into any "employees only" areas or zones otherwise off-limits to the public. Anyone (including actual staff or other officials) who sees the wielder in one of these areas will assume they are a known employee or other official who is granted special access to the area. Unfortunately, they will all also view the wielder as the least competent and least trustworthy employee or official with the organization. Any actions taken in the area are likely to be closely watched and highly scrutinized by any observer who would know better.
ETA: One from the current campaign in which I am a player character. Our DM thought of this one:
Bullet of Healing:
This magical bullet can be loaded into any firearm. Whomever is shot by this bullet first receives 1d6 piercing damage followed by 1d10 healing. If the initial damage causes recipient's HP to fall below 0 before the bullet's healing effects begin, they will fall unconscious and will not gain any healing effect from the bullet. Instead, one death save is automatically passed.
The Ring of Attunement idea has come up before, and if I remember correctly there's a class (Artificer?) that gets a bonus based on how many items they have attuned, making it a genuinely useful item in niche cases.
The Hand of Holding. When held, it can hold items for you and allow to use them with whatever ability you would normally have. Technically helpful in slightly extending your reach, and depending on the niceness of the GM may also mitigate curses or other effects that are triggered by holding the item, since you technically aren't. You are still essentially wielding, using, and various other verbs-ing the item, so those still hamper you.
I played a campaign where we had a dagger of healing. It worked great against undead (as intended by the DM) and also to torture information out of people (not intended by DM).
Can only be used to heal wounds inflicted more than 1 hour ago. Each recent use on the target reduces the effectiveness of the dagger's healing powers.
I'm actually running an old west horror / conspiracies game I wouldn't have thought of if you hadn't shared that magic bullet. I have my players organized and everything. I adapted the healing bullet you described. I wanted to share these magic bullets I created for it (GURPS rules).
Well that's what you have a coin purse or primary bag of holding for. Assuming the hand retrieving items is not folded (which I would assume is safe to assume based on how bags of holding generally work), it could be used for forging, folding washing, making something really long by reinserting it repeatedly, or sabotaging by folding things that should not be foldable.
Sir Mix-a-Lot (unrelated) is a traveling potion salesman who shows up for my party at suspiciously specific times, and generally has discounted potions specifically tailored for whatever they happen to be doing at the time. For example, if they need to be really strong, he'll have a bottle of Sir Flex-a-Lot's Magical Muscle Maximizer, which does increase the strength of one's muscles, but not of their bones or connective tissue (it was designed to be used only in bodybuilding competitions), so whenever the drinker does a STR check, they must also make a CON saving throw to avoid breaking a bone or tendon. Need to decipher an ancient text? Try Sir Scripts-a-Lot's Polyglottal-in-a-bottle, which will let you read unknown languages, but also comprehend all unknown languages, even those of the plants and animals around you, making it very difficult to concentrate on any one thing. (inspired by https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/springtime)
Pathfinder 2nd edition's rogue class has an ability chain that allows them to have already bought certain kinds of item, and they declare it while on the adventure already and decide they need it. "Oh yeah, I bought a spyglass when we were in that last town." The lowest level is for adventuring gear-type stuff, and it's usable like once per in-game week. Later tiers of it expand the kinds of items and the frequency. You do also mark off the gold the item would have cost.
I have to steal that for whenever I run a campaign again. Seems like an entertaining recurring character to also clue players in that something is going to happen
Ring of (Logical) Invisibility v2. Makes you invisible except for your eye balls so that they can absorb light. You may now see but you appear as a pair of floating eyeballs.
It adjusts the depth map where you walk to appear as though something footprint-shaoed has sunk into the floor, as if in thick mud. Regardless of the surface - stone? still looks like someone sank into it a bit. When they run their hand over it, the floor is actually smooth as if nothing had happened, but the depth map makes it look like it.
Really good sword, strong steel. The handle is wrapped in living leather harvested from the palms of a cursed pervert. It's always slightly warmer than your hand and it exudes a sticky substance that enhances grip. Smells like corn.
Survival Stew Balls:
A fried ball of...food. It's rock hard, slightly too big to hold with one hand easily, completely impermeable, and covered in a flaky, delicate panko breaded crust.
To eat, boil one in 5 gallons of water to produce a pot of stew. The flavor is different for every ball. Never cook two in the same pot at the same time. Wash the pot thoroughly within 6 hours after removing from heat. especially if it's made of iron. Under no circumstances are you to reheat the left overs.
Emergency Shews:
Bubble gum that turns into one time use sandals. Once the flavor runs out, you have 30 seconds before the gum expands into shoes. The sizes seem to have been printed on the gum but they've long since faded or rubbed off. Durian flavor.
Dead Cat Bounce:
A black bottle with a cat eye painted on it. If you drink the contents and die due to falling from a great height, you will be revived immediately and launched with equivalent force in a random direction.
A fried ball of…food. It’s rock hard, slightly too big to hold with one hand easily, completely impermeable, and covered in a flaky, delicate panko breaded crust. To eat, boil one in 5 gallons of water to produce a pot of stew. The flavor is different for every ball. Never cook two in the same pot at the same time. Wash the pot thoroughly within 6 hours after removing from heat. especially if it’s made of iron. Under no circumstances are you to reheat the left overs.
that's some stuff you find in the lunch room of an SCP facility
Ring of protection. Grants everyone around you protection in a fairly large radius. Might be useful for long range combat, maybe. Might also be useful to navigating certain environmental hazards.
Boots of Flying. They can fly, but only have a carry weight of a few pounds. If you're more than say ten pounds, the little wings flap but gain no altitude. They are not autonomous. Might be useful in condunction with other magics to reduce weight.
Gauntlets of Ogre Might. Do not affect strength. They do tell you the odds of nearby ogres taking particular actions. They might do this, they might do that, and so on.
Hammer of Striking. Social bonuses when organizing labor. Combat bonuses only when near many allies.
Boots of Haste. Gain extra actions but large penalties to all checks. Haste makes waste. May be useful if combined with large bonuses or fixed outcomes (eg: DND diviner wizard).
Hammer of Striking. Social bonuses when organizing labor. Combat bonuses only when near many allies.
Pair this with the Sickle of Means. Does double damage and gives Ranger favored enemy bonuses against employers, nobility, land owners and clerics, so long as the wielder forswears ever becoming any of those things. When used to harvest grain, doubles the speed at which grain can be harvested and magically doubles the final yield of the harvest as well. However, if the grain is not freely and equitably distributed (especially if the wielder charges for it), the next time they use the sickle they will immediately fumble and critically hit themselves for max damage.
Cube of instant castle:
Say the keyword 'open' to transform this cube into a '200x'200 castle. The transformation happens instantly, and if you're caught in the area of effect, be prepared to get smashed. The cube is hard of hearing.
Oh. I thought it a was the other way I thought the point was that if the player whispers, the cube can't hear. But I think what you are imagining is that the cube might hear "open" when something else was said
I thought it was that you can't just shout from afar because it can't hear you, so there's not really any options other than to sacrifice someone every time you want to use it.
Periapt of health: this is a small vial with a red liquid inside attached to a small chain. While wearing this, all diseases that you would otherwise contract enter the small vial instead. If the vial is broken, the closest creature will immediately contract all diseases contained within.
Deck of many things (used): the previous owners of this deck got all that they could have wished for. The remaining cards might not be the best.
Ring of mind shielding: the creator of this ring was a bit over-zealous. Along with the usual effects, this ring will censor violence, sex, and other uncouth things.
Cloak of the bat: along with the usual effects, wearing this cloak will also make you speak bat. You will only be able to produce high-pitched squeaks.
Portable hole: this portable hole is bottomless! Anything that falls down the hole is lost forever.
The periapt of health also keeps you from the fun effects of drugs (including alcohol); not useless, but keeps working for 24 hours after you take it off
Deck of many uncomfortable things
Normal mix of good and bad, weak and powerful, but as an example: the two dueling demon lords it spawned aren't fighting for power or honor; this is a domestic dispute between two extremely intimate (succubus intestines can do what? Why? WHY?) supernaturally-dickish immortals who have been emotionally abusing each other for a thousand years, and they're airing all their dirty laundry. Take sides if you dare.
Ring of mind shielding:
Also shields you from anything uncomfortable; you do not gain xp. (Yeah yours is better)
Ring of mind shielding (extremely racist): you can't see elves' faces now. you're welcome.
Portable hole:
It's soft, meaty, and contains multiple (always closed) giant sphincters. Sometimes shudders. Otherwise functions normally. So far.
Band of Gorilla Repair: Once per day, can repair anything, or rather, will summon 1d4 (can be modified depending on the size of the job) massive gorillas who show up seemingly out of nowhere whenever anything near the wearer breaks or is heavily damaged. The gorillas can repair anything.
Those not expecting to see a bunch of repair-happy gorillas must make a fear check.
These mysterious gorillas are actually friendly and fix whatever thing was broken, but beware, their patience quickly runs out for anybody intentionally causing disrepair or destruction in their presence!
I have a spreadsheet full of these somewhere. The 2 that my players got that I remember them using are:
Emperors armor: +3 full plate armor with no strength or armor proficiency requirement. When you look at yourself or in a mirror you see yourself in full plate armor, but to everyone else you are naked and if anyone tells you that you are naked the armor and all your possessions cease to exist. My player made it the shopping district in the heart of the city before someone told him.
Staff of disintegrating: when activated, it disintegrates. The player that got this one saved it for a boss fight. He found it hilarious though.
Yes, and think of the role-playing possibilities! Your character needs to pass a skill check to not choose the riskiest course of action in any situation. Fun for the entire family!
I just thought of the most evil shit you could do with this.
They buy the bag and it comes preloaded with a couple lil crocheted trinkets that are cutesy and like grandma made it for adventurers. A lil mealkit, a ration pack, a lil sword and shield but also a doll. As they slowly start to realize what the bag does they remember the doll and start freaking out about what if it was a person who went in there to hide and got turned and we gotta fix 'em! Ends up being a whole quest line to unfuck the bag, the bag items and specifically this doll. At the very end they undo the doll and it turns into a wooden doll. Then when laughter/disappointment just getting to the right point, have the doll talk. Get the joke of it being a doll and they get the expectation they wanted of it being a living being they saved.
Immovable Rod: when activated, it becomes fixed in its position in space, ignoring the motion of the planet. The moment it's activated, it flies off into the sky or through the earth depending on the time of day, destroying everything in its path.
Potentially extremely useful with a lot of planning, once.
Oh boy, now we run into the problem of "there is no such thing as a neutral universal spatial grid/position". Since all position is relative, perhaps pressing the button locks it in place relative to the sun instead of the planet? Maybe this special version is marked with a sun symbol, if you're lucky.
Also note that Immovable Rods typically have a maximum weight or Strength check that can either cause them to deactivate or move them or whatever. 8,000 pounds and DC 28 Str come to mind from one or another version, so this probably wouldn't tear through the whole planet, but it could still rough up some buildings and moderate rock.
Broom of Flying
Yes its a broom that allows you to fly
No one ever said anything about landing
The broom cannot come down lower than 30 feet from the ground.
Dismounting will stop the broom and allow you to pick it up, as long as your concious from the fall
Not quite the same, but a Paladin in a campaign I was in once bought a Shield of Missile Attraction for cheap because the shopkeep thought it was cursed.
I'm sure there'd also eventually be a raging debate at the table to whether pigeon poop, whilst technically being a "projectile", counts as a "missile." Then something like "Was the pigeon aiming for something?"
...In which case you could set that shield up in the town square and all the statues would be squeaky clean!
I gifted my party a sapient dagger. It was really good too. It was a 1d6 but let you attack again, but rolling a 5 or less on the die makes you insane because the dagger insults the user so badly for missing. If it happened 12 times, the character died. They used it from level 3 or 4 through the end of the campaign at level 18, since there was no cap on how often you could attack again.
Alternatively, rolling a 1 makes you roll the damage against yourself, but it's a permanent loss of max HP as a psychic effect. It kills you if you hit 0 max HP. Anything that would let you recover the max HP, like straight-up wish (greater restoration isn't good enough) also makes the dagger not work for you any more because you cheated.
I re-read greater restoration, because 5e was never really my game (3.5), and saw one of its uses was explicitly to end one effect reducing your hit point maximum. So I'd amend my earlier and say yeah, that spell works. Since my reading is that it'd only reverse a single crit fail's penalty per casting - not to mention the spell has a smallish material component cost (100 gp diamond) - the weapon wouldn't call it cheating, per se.
As the dagger's main thing is that it's a 1d6 instead of 1d4, that's only +1 point of damage per hit on average. 1 in 20 hits backfires, so essentially the cost for 19 extra damage over 19 hits per penalty taken, reversing just the one with a 5th level spell... there's better ways to do 19 damage with a 5th level spell, so probably not really cheating :)
Correct if I'm misremembering the general benefits of the sapient dagger.
I thought the special thing was the extra attack mentioned in the dagger at the top of the comment thread. That would seem very powerful. Your reasoning is sound for the 1d6 dagger though.
[The sapient dagger] was a 1d6 but let you attack again, but rolling a 5 or less on the die makes you insane because the dagger insults the user so badly for missing. [... T]here was no cap on how often you could attack again.
You're right about the extra attack, of course; I was too tired to remember or to go back and read again before commenting. I think we'd need a few things clarified before properly balancing an alternate version:
Rolling a 5 or lower on the extra attack's attack roll, or its damage roll? Presumably either way it refers to a raw die value.
"No cap on how often you could attack again" - no cap on uses per day, or could you just make additional attacks within one round until you decided to stop (or died)?
Does using the dagger's additional attack take your bonus action, or is it a free action? This may be answered by #2, since if it's unlimited per round it must be a free action.
3a) If it's essentially a free action, does it get included with a class's Extra Attack? Which is to say, does it count within the activation of that ability for the purpose of anything that might positively (or negatively) impact all the attacks within a given activation of Extra Attack? (Of course, it wouldn't make sense for it to have to count AS one of the class's Extra Attacks, since it would be categorically worse as it would just invoke the risk with no compensating benefit.)
Sword of ghostly might:
One owned by a powerful warrior who came back as a vengeful spirit. Neglects to mention that the sword is also a ghost, and therefore can only deal damage to spirits.
Magic rope - an animated rope that can be commanded to levitate and tie knots. When placed in any container, pouch or pocket, it immediately gets tangled up and take 1d6 minutes per 5ft of rope to untangle. Other objects in the container also become tangled with the rope, and take 1d6 minutes to remove individually, entangled objects are released immediately when the entire rope is untangled.
Magic rope is unable to be cut by any non-magical item.
Flaming sword (no off switch; do not keep near oil, pa}er, etc.
Shock arrows with electrical damage, stun on crit, compulsion to say some wsgelord shit next time youre talking to a new person each time you use one (non-stacking)
Cold spear, extra bonus damage beyond normal, weather table is always like two steps worse (please get it the fuck out of the city!)
Holy sword-but the sword has incentives to make you act like a cliche of how not to play a paladin
Wand of magic missile (can only target abstractions)
Wand of fireball (two charges per user. Not usable by everyone; made by an angry dramatic kinky trans woman)
Immovable rod (no off switch)
Staff of teleport (fixed targets for each charge, comes with the list. Maybe.)
Tome of stat boost (obnoxious)-comes with compulsions (gym bro[toxic], yoga[toxic], raw milk/crunchiness, quoting Nietzsche or von neumann or something at every opportunity, talking in parables, cringe political opinions)
Bracers of archery, must attempt to do everything with an arrow, thrown knife, or other projectile if even remotely plausible.
Cloak of resistance, resists being worn, being taken off
Magic carpet (ugly)
Magic carpet, slightly funny smelling, totally not from an extraplanar brothel, loses its power for a week if washed.
Glasses of true seeing (also everyone's naked)
Glasses of 'true' seeing (or high tech HUD in a cyberpunk setting), functions as normal, but also projects useful information like phrenology charts, relevant conspiracy theories, the best applicable slurs all in a helpful opaque overlay.
Container of endless water (gross) theres like chunks of algae and stuff, a little silt, definitely at least brackish.
Flagon of endless beer (insultingly cheap, but will still get you drunk. Eventually.) Loojs exactly with, and is magically connected to its twin: flagon of endless actual-cat-piss
boots of haste-functions as normal, but when given the option, you must always choose 'fast' over 'good', cannot delay actions, etc.
Bag of Olding: A very generously sized bag of holding, however it unfortunately speeds up the passage of time significantly inside it. Don't store food in it!
A magical sword that extends, but the longer you have it, the longer the incantation you have to say to get it to extend... Maybe show it some pictures of people cleaved in two, or try stabbing somewhere else to get it going.
...The handle is made of super flammable material, though, and a bunch of people got third degree burns trying to weild it. There was a massive recall.
You know what "recall" means, though? Collector's item! These are rare af.
Harder tack: Magically compressed ships biscuits, commissioned by an admiral who heard of lembas bread but found it too expensive. His corpse was found in the harbour waters a week later.
One contains enough calories to last you a week of hard work, but you need a chisel and a sledgehammer to crack it into pieces and one hand-sized biscuit weighs 3kg. It tastes like cement dust.
Amulet of speak with the dead - cursed. Once attuned the user can speak with the dead, but can only interpret chat with the living as wailing, any attempts to speak with the living will sound like wailing to the other entity. Removing the item does not break the curse.
Scroll of summon wisp.
When used nothing appears, but you gain a speech impediment for 1d6 days.
Owo what a tewwible cuwse to put on youwselwf..
How do I delete someone else's comment?
You down't :3
Become a moderator
ew
As always, the real cursed item is in the replies
*modewatow
i hawe a fudden defiwe fow wabbit
But it is duck season.
Bag of Communal Holding
Content is shared with all other bags of communal holding in existence. Sometimes retrieving objects involves awkward hand contact if someone else is using their bag at the same time.
Not accidentally holding a strangers hand. This is the worst one by far.
Even more hilarious if you could accidentally pull out someone else trying to retrieve objects from the bag. Would be kind of awkward getting them back to their origin though...
A potion of True Healing... heals 1d8+2 damage, recipient MUST truthfully answer the next question they are asked. Sell the characters 6, but don't tell them about the truth serum. Let them figure it out on their own.
Boots of Elvenkind... except Elves can hear you.
A bag of holding that contains infinite clowns. Every time it is opened, 1d4 clowns come out. The clowns are useless in combat and attempt to distract, annoy and mock the holder. While this could be used as a distraction, the clowns will follow the holder, drawing attention to them. You could create a table for what kind of clowns you get (mime clowns, pie throwing clowns, balloon animal clowns, magician clowns, etc). The clowns will wander off after 1d6 minutes. Where the clowns go and what they are (Illusions? Demons?) is unknown.
There's so much role playing potential in the ability to create a giant mob of clowns at will by repeatedly opening and closing the bag. You almost don't need anything else!
Spawn them as a distraction!
Use them to hide!
Plug any entry or hallway at will!
Build yourself a mountain of clowns to scale any wall!
Never starve again with their endless supply of pies! (Eaten fresh off your face.)
Use their weight to bring down any air-/ship!
Air drop them on your enemies! (Assuming they have a weight and are bound by gravity, they do damage - all you need is a bit of levitation, a tower, airship or a ceiling to hang from.)
Just crush your entire party by spawning hundreds of them in a closed room!
The possibilities are truly endless.
As a diabolical GM, I can think of so many ways to make these strategies backfire. :D
That's half the fun! Sometimes, the true clown you spawn is yourself.
I can't see any of these working as intended. Clowns don't subscribe to reality
Some of them cause a big distraction that accidentally points directly towards those you don't want to be seen.
One of them will look giant and big to hide you while the others honk and gesture/point behind, clearly showing where you are.
Crabs in a bucket. None will let you climb. You must stay to hear their jokes...
Shaving cream pies. Ain't nobody got time to bake 30 coconut creams
They all blow up helium balloons to help it float. Unless you want it to float in which case their balloons turn into bowling balls at the last second with a big shrug.
See balloons
Clown car logic. You're all "crushed" but it's just extremely difficult terrain.
Luckily, most of these arguments assume living clowns. Something that can be easily remedied, it just shifts the entire problem space to doing it fast enough!
On that note, what's their EXP value?
Immortal Clowns of Jest. Zero XP and their death only fuels development of further abilities
They just despawn and it's 1/10^(78) xp per clown.
A fraction of 1 EP for each atom in the universe.
If my PCs responded to the clowns this way, I would absolutely make the clowns demons and the "bag of holding" a portal to a circus themed layer of the Abyss. And that's the campaign now.
It turns out the ruler of this layer of the abyss appreciates your lust for violence and mass murder. That's probably not actually... good? For you?
I don't know about you, but the prospect of becoming a warlock themed around blood, flesh and clownery sounds pretty sweet to me!
I'd definitely play that campaign.
I would definitely let you play that in my campaign. Also reminds me of that bad guy from One Piece.
Exactly this. Also, one of the clowns will have a trombone to play sad trombone noises at you.
Jesus...
That's certainly not great, but this show has way worse.
Probably bad that without the parentheses, I was already assuming this was some kind of horrific Sweeny Todd situation.
No, but the pies are a bit off, so they always give you the runs.
That's just practical thinking right here! Someone else argued for shaving cream pies, which naturally leads to the counterpoint of cannibalism.
Sell the bag to a lich to keep him from robbing graves, collect big $$$ for the unique magic item, and the bounty from the town
Herd them ahead of you to clear traps
I have two I will be using in my next campaign:
Ring of attunement: Provides 1 extra attunement slot. (Requires attunement)
Event Staff: This staff allows the wielder to gain unquestioned entry into any "employees only" areas or zones otherwise off-limits to the public. Anyone (including actual staff or other officials) who sees the wielder in one of these areas will assume they are a known employee or other official who is granted special access to the area. Unfortunately, they will all also view the wielder as the least competent and least trustworthy employee or official with the organization. Any actions taken in the area are likely to be closely watched and highly scrutinized by any observer who would know better.
ETA: One from the current campaign in which I am a player character. Our DM thought of this one:
Bullet of Healing:
This magical bullet can be loaded into any firearm. Whomever is shot by this bullet first receives 1d6 piercing damage followed by 1d10 healing. If the initial damage causes recipient's HP to fall below 0 before the bullet's healing effects begin, they will fall unconscious and will not gain any healing effect from the bullet. Instead, one death save is automatically passed.
That bullet of healing is awesome. Would be great for a supernatural Wild West game. Which, is I think what I want to run next now.
The Ring of Attunement idea has come up before, and if I remember correctly there's a class (Artificer?) that gets a bonus based on how many items they have attuned, making it a genuinely useful item in niche cases.
Riffing off the ring:
The Hand of Holding. When held, it can hold items for you and allow to use them with whatever ability you would normally have. Technically helpful in slightly extending your reach, and depending on the niceness of the GM may also mitigate curses or other effects that are triggered by holding the item, since you technically aren't. You are still essentially wielding, using, and various other verbs-ing the item, so those still hamper you.
Haha I like it
I played a campaign where we had a dagger of healing. It worked great against undead (as intended by the DM) and also to torture information out of people (not intended by DM).
Dagger of purification
I'm actually running an old west horror / conspiracies game I wouldn't have thought of if you hadn't shared that magic bullet. I have my players organized and everything. I adapted the healing bullet you described. I wanted to share these magic bullets I created for it (GURPS rules).
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1O5G-D_WOAMRNq1f3Ev2Ytz4HxTYQXS7SaPlzgIJVZYk/edit?usp=sharing
damn haha 8 pages of different bullets! That's pretty awesome, thanks for sharing
Potion of Water Breathing: DOES NOT RETAIN AIR BREATHING
Bag of folding.
A bag of holding except anything stored in it comes out folded in half.
Given how murderous some parties get this could become a bit of a problem!
Sounds really useful actually.
Emphasis on anything. I doubt the inkeeper will take kindly to being paid with coins folded in half.
Well that's what you have a coin purse or primary bag of holding for. Assuming the hand retrieving items is not folded (which I would assume is safe to assume based on how bags of holding generally work), it could be used for forging, folding washing, making something really long by reinserting it repeatedly, or sabotaging by folding things that should not be foldable.
That indeed would make it significantly less useful.
Sir Mix-a-Lot (unrelated) is a traveling potion salesman who shows up for my party at suspiciously specific times, and generally has discounted potions specifically tailored for whatever they happen to be doing at the time. For example, if they need to be really strong, he'll have a bottle of Sir Flex-a-Lot's Magical Muscle Maximizer, which does increase the strength of one's muscles, but not of their bones or connective tissue (it was designed to be used only in bodybuilding competitions), so whenever the drinker does a STR check, they must also make a CON saving throw to avoid breaking a bone or tendon. Need to decipher an ancient text? Try Sir Scripts-a-Lot's Polyglottal-in-a-bottle, which will let you read unknown languages, but also comprehend all unknown languages, even those of the plants and animals around you, making it very difficult to concentrate on any one thing. (inspired by https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/springtime)
Pathfinder 2nd edition's rogue class has an ability chain that allows them to have already bought certain kinds of item, and they declare it while on the adventure already and decide they need it. "Oh yeah, I bought a spyglass when we were in that last town." The lowest level is for adventuring gear-type stuff, and it's usable like once per in-game week. Later tiers of it expand the kinds of items and the frequency. You do also mark off the gold the item would have cost.
I have to steal that for whenever I run a campaign again. Seems like an entertaining recurring character to also clue players in that something is going to happen
Ring of invisibility. Makes you invisible, but makes everyone else invisible to you as well.
Ring of (Logical) Invisibility v2. Makes you invisible except for your eye balls so that they can absorb light. You may now see but you appear as a pair of floating eyeballs.
An additional note here. With no visible eyelids, and nothing visible to protect the back of the eye, bright lights would be extremely painful.
So either double blinding effects of light based attacks, or halve the saves vs the same.
V3, your eyeballs are only visible when your eyes are open.
Ring of minor invisibility - The ring is invisible, and only makes your body invisible, not any of your stuff
But people can see your footsteps cartoon style
If light travels through you then you would not leave a shadow.
Does glass leave a shadow?
Invisibility implies you are more transparent than glass...
It's magic. It can make your footsteps visible.
It adjusts the depth map where you walk to appear as though something footprint-shaoed has sunk into the floor, as if in thick mud. Regardless of the surface - stone? still looks like someone sank into it a bit. When they run their hand over it, the floor is actually smooth as if nothing had happened, but the depth map makes it look like it.
Or makes you smell horrible. Yes I just stole this from 'cruelty squad'.
Sweaty Sword:
Really good sword, strong steel. The handle is wrapped in living leather harvested from the palms of a cursed pervert. It's always slightly warmer than your hand and it exudes a sticky substance that enhances grip. Smells like corn.
Survival Stew Balls:
A fried ball of...food. It's rock hard, slightly too big to hold with one hand easily, completely impermeable, and covered in a flaky, delicate panko breaded crust. To eat, boil one in 5 gallons of water to produce a pot of stew. The flavor is different for every ball. Never cook two in the same pot at the same time. Wash the pot thoroughly within 6 hours after removing from heat. especially if it's made of iron. Under no circumstances are you to reheat the left overs.
Emergency Shews:
Bubble gum that turns into one time use sandals. Once the flavor runs out, you have 30 seconds before the gum expands into shoes. The sizes seem to have been printed on the gum but they've long since faded or rubbed off. Durian flavor.
Dead Cat Bounce:
A black bottle with a cat eye painted on it. If you drink the contents and die due to falling from a great height, you will be revived immediately and launched with equivalent force in a random direction.
that's some stuff you find in the lunch room of an SCP facility
It's a furby right?
Cape of (Refugee) Flight: you gain the power to fly for your life.
Screaming Cloak of Invisibility: you're invisible, but the cloak constantly screams, "HE'S OVER HERE!!!" and tries to give away your location.
The Tax Axe: raises both your taxes and your target's with every swing.
I might actually steal that cloak for my D&D campaign lol
I was thinking something like flight but only in directions away from enemies.
Cape of (White) Flight could be fun, too.
:) I'm flattered. They're fun things to come up with.
The Tax Axe might be the most evil weapon ever devised.
Wielded correctly, in the hands of someone self-sacrificial, it could rectify many of society's wrongs.
I'm thinking more like, set up a carnival with axe throwing for the elites. Dont tell them the axe is cursed
I admire that you came up with a much more peaceful and creative approach. But mine might be more fun, if we can get a group together.
Ring of protection. Grants everyone around you protection in a fairly large radius. Might be useful for long range combat, maybe. Might also be useful to navigating certain environmental hazards.
Boots of Flying. They can fly, but only have a carry weight of a few pounds. If you're more than say ten pounds, the little wings flap but gain no altitude. They are not autonomous. Might be useful in condunction with other magics to reduce weight.
Gauntlets of Ogre Might. Do not affect strength. They do tell you the odds of nearby ogres taking particular actions. They might do this, they might do that, and so on.
Hammer of Striking. Social bonuses when organizing labor. Combat bonuses only when near many allies.
Boots of Haste. Gain extra actions but large penalties to all checks. Haste makes waste. May be useful if combined with large bonuses or fixed outcomes (eg: DND diviner wizard).
Pair this with the Sickle of Means. Does double damage and gives Ranger favored enemy bonuses against employers, nobility, land owners and clerics, so long as the wielder forswears ever becoming any of those things. When used to harvest grain, doubles the speed at which grain can be harvested and magically doubles the final yield of the harvest as well. However, if the grain is not freely and equitably distributed (especially if the wielder charges for it), the next time they use the sickle they will immediately fumble and critically hit themselves for max damage.
Sword of charisma: But it attracts bugs for some reason.
Amulet of protection: Stops heals too.
Boots of speed: Brakes not included.
Wand of light: Slightly radioactive.
Potion of restoration: Removes buffs as well, kills undead.
There was an older barbarian subclass that was immune to magic including beneficial magic. It was dumb and wonderful
Cube of instant castle: Say the keyword 'open' to transform this cube into a '200x'200 castle. The transformation happens instantly, and if you're caught in the area of effect, be prepared to get smashed. The cube is hard of hearing.
'the cube is hard of hearing' oh that's just evil lmao
Oh. I thought it a was the other way I thought the point was that if the player whispers, the cube can't hear. But I think what you are imagining is that the cube might hear "open" when something else was said
I thought it was that you can't just shout from afar because it can't hear you, so there's not really any options other than to sacrifice someone every time you want to use it.
So many options!
The merchant says: "thanks for purchasing that cube, if you need something else we are open all day every day"
The party is now dead
I'll use a sending stone like a garage door opener as I'm pulling up in the carriage
Excellent weapon then
There were markings on the cube where the castle will spawn, but they've faded decades ago. By now, all faces look identical.
Wand of Fireball: has a medium chance of shooting a stream of cinnamon whiskey.
Imagine if they rolled the whiskey thing whenever they tried to use it. Then at the local tavern "SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!"
(Dice clatter)
TPK.
Periapt of health: this is a small vial with a red liquid inside attached to a small chain. While wearing this, all diseases that you would otherwise contract enter the small vial instead. If the vial is broken, the closest creature will immediately contract all diseases contained within.
Deck of many things (used): the previous owners of this deck got all that they could have wished for. The remaining cards might not be the best.
Ring of mind shielding: the creator of this ring was a bit over-zealous. Along with the usual effects, this ring will censor violence, sex, and other uncouth things.
Cloak of the bat: along with the usual effects, wearing this cloak will also make you speak bat. You will only be able to produce high-pitched squeaks.
Portable hole: this portable hole is bottomless! Anything that falls down the hole is lost forever.
Oof, that periapt of health. Contract everything you can, then chuck it at an enemy. What a grenade.
The periapt of health also keeps you from the fun effects of drugs (including alcohol); not useless, but keeps working for 24 hours after you take it off
Deck of many uncomfortable things Normal mix of good and bad, weak and powerful, but as an example: the two dueling demon lords it spawned aren't fighting for power or honor; this is a domestic dispute between two extremely intimate (succubus intestines can do what? Why? WHY?) supernaturally-dickish immortals who have been emotionally abusing each other for a thousand years, and they're airing all their dirty laundry. Take sides if you dare.
Ring of mind shielding: Also shields you from anything uncomfortable; you do not gain xp. (Yeah yours is better)
Ring of mind shielding (extremely racist): you can't see elves' faces now. you're welcome.
Portable hole: It's soft, meaty, and contains multiple (always closed) giant sphincters. Sometimes shudders. Otherwise functions normally. So far.
Bag for holding:
It's a bag of holding but instead of occupying a bag slot it must be kept in the main hand.
Spellcaster focus could work, but I like imagining a barbarian running lopping heads with a machete and a purse.
Bag of handholding 👀?
Handbag of holding
Helm of Invincibility: you are invincible, but only to people who have Vince in their name, e.g. Vince, Vincent, some other name with Vince
It is I Vincenzo The Dragon Smiter, prepare to die!
Donk.
Also resistant to a single Vance (yes, that one) due to a pronunciation error during casting
Leaky alchemy jug.
Whenever you use this jug roll a d100. This is how many percent of your choosen liquid are replaced by mayonnaise.
Band of Gorilla Repair: Once per day, can repair anything, or rather, will summon 1d4 (can be modified depending on the size of the job) massive gorillas who show up seemingly out of nowhere whenever anything near the wearer breaks or is heavily damaged. The gorillas can repair anything.
Those not expecting to see a bunch of repair-happy gorillas must make a fear check.
These mysterious gorillas are actually friendly and fix whatever thing was broken, but beware, their patience quickly runs out for anybody intentionally causing disrepair or destruction in their presence!
Yeah, it works just like this!
Bag of holding with a preexisting hoarding problem
Can’t-trip - only works when you don’t want it to
Book of spells, but you have to spell out letter by letter each time you cast
Arrows of Accuracy: These arrows will always hit. Starting from the target, then out from that point, the hit roll is checked against defenses.
If nobody is hit, the arrow strikes the firer.
Can just imagine the arrow running around like a terrifying game of duck duck goose
Kind of like this.
I have a spreadsheet full of these somewhere. The 2 that my players got that I remember them using are:
Emperors armor: +3 full plate armor with no strength or armor proficiency requirement. When you look at yourself or in a mirror you see yourself in full plate armor, but to everyone else you are naked and if anyone tells you that you are naked the armor and all your possessions cease to exist. My player made it the shopping district in the heart of the city before someone told him.
Staff of disintegrating: when activated, it disintegrates. The player that got this one saved it for a boss fight. He found it hilarious though.
If staff of disintegrating can be activated remotely you can make traps with it
Circlet of human perfection, but the creator had a really niche fetish.
Wand of Wonder What This Does
A regular wand of wonder that comes with a gambling addiction.
I'm pretty sure that's already standard for anyone happy to use a wand/rod of wonder after they know what it is.
Yes, and think of the role-playing possibilities! Your character needs to pass a skill check to not choose the riskiest course of action in any situation. Fun for the entire family!
Bead of (Uncomfortable) Nourishment: Standard effect, but must be taken nasally. Oral absorption may cause permanent magical flatus.
Bag of holding, but everything that goes in comes out a crocheted plushie version.
I just thought of the most evil shit you could do with this.
They buy the bag and it comes preloaded with a couple lil crocheted trinkets that are cutesy and like grandma made it for adventurers. A lil mealkit, a ration pack, a lil sword and shield but also a doll. As they slowly start to realize what the bag does they remember the doll and start freaking out about what if it was a person who went in there to hide and got turned and we gotta fix 'em! Ends up being a whole quest line to unfuck the bag, the bag items and specifically this doll. At the very end they undo the doll and it turns into a wooden doll. Then when laughter/disappointment just getting to the right point, have the doll talk. Get the joke of it being a doll and they get the expectation they wanted of it being a living being they saved.
Fucking love it. Could be an easy one shot for sure. Have fun with it!
bag of holding, but the encantment is on the futz so it's only like 10% larger on the inside.
Immovable Rod: Only one end of the rod is fixed in space, the other end swings freely.
Immovable Rod: when activated, it becomes fixed in its position in space, ignoring the motion of the planet. The moment it's activated, it flies off into the sky or through the earth depending on the time of day, destroying everything in its path.
Potentially extremely useful with a lot of planning, once.
Oh boy, now we run into the problem of "there is no such thing as a neutral universal spatial grid/position". Since all position is relative, perhaps pressing the button locks it in place relative to the sun instead of the planet? Maybe this special version is marked with a sun symbol, if you're lucky.
Also note that Immovable Rods typically have a maximum weight or Strength check that can either cause them to deactivate or move them or whatever. 8,000 pounds and DC 28 Str come to mind from one or another version, so this probably wouldn't tear through the whole planet, but it could still rough up some buildings and moderate rock.
Immovable pendulum
That's awesome actually. Would be incredibly useful in a shop.
Wand of wishes. It's great, but it will respond to any speaker in the vicinity
Wand of wishes, but gives you what you actually want right now.
Yeah, you need a bridge, but you're fatigued, so on some level what you really want is a hot bath and a warm bed; maybe some soup.
Worst thing ever, don't even want it. Would ruin my life
Broom of Flying Yes its a broom that allows you to fly
No one ever said anything about landing The broom cannot come down lower than 30 feet from the ground. Dismounting will stop the broom and allow you to pick it up, as long as your concious from the fall
I was hoping it stays up in the air so you have to tie it like a ballon.
That makes it too easy: just attach a ropeladder to the broom. That doesn't work if the broom stops levitating when you get off.
I missed a trick with that
Your version maybe funnier because one of the safest ways to land is to jump into water, but then the broom is in the water too.
That would actually be pretty amazing for a beach holiday.
Not quite the same, but a Paladin in a campaign I was in once bought a Shield of Missile Attraction for cheap because the shopkeep thought it was cursed.
I hope while they were walking around, a projectile would just donk right into their shield on occasion, just to keep them on their toes. :)
They walk past a llama pen on the way back to the tavern.
Barkeep: "Uh... I'll have Gretchen draw you a bath upstairs."
LOL. That one's really clever!
I'm sure there'd also eventually be a raging debate at the table to whether pigeon poop, whilst technically being a "projectile", counts as a "missile." Then something like "Was the pigeon aiming for something?"
...In which case you could set that shield up in the town square and all the statues would be squeaky clean!
Flawed bag of holding - it's a bag of holding, but the dimensions inside are normal bag sized.
Movable rod - an immovable rod, but it can only resist up to 10lbs
Bed of comfort - it's comfortable, just not the way you were hoping.
Vorple blade - it's exactly what it is, but it's too dull to cut and sharpening it would damage the enchantment.
So for the sword... Bludgeoning damage unless it's a crit, and then the enchantment does it's thing regardless of the sharpness?
I was thinking a secret -2 to crit so it only actually crits on a nat 20
Why secret? It's a dull sword.
I like letting my players figure it out. If I don't pack the game with contrived stats they'll spend all night investigating an unlocked door.
I gifted my party a sapient dagger. It was really good too. It was a 1d6 but let you attack again, but rolling a 5 or less on the die makes you insane because the dagger insults the user so badly for missing. If it happened 12 times, the character died. They used it from level 3 or 4 through the end of the campaign at level 18, since there was no cap on how often you could attack again.
Alternatively, rolling a 1 makes you roll the damage against yourself, but it's a permanent loss of max HP as a psychic effect. It kills you if you hit 0 max HP. Anything that would let you recover the max HP, like straight-up wish (greater restoration isn't good enough) also makes the dagger not work for you any more because you cheated.
With the cheating stipulation I'd personally let greater restoration work too.
I re-read greater restoration, because 5e was never really my game (3.5), and saw one of its uses was explicitly to end one effect reducing your hit point maximum. So I'd amend my earlier and say yeah, that spell works. Since my reading is that it'd only reverse a single crit fail's penalty per casting - not to mention the spell has a smallish material component cost (100 gp diamond) - the weapon wouldn't call it cheating, per se.
As the dagger's main thing is that it's a 1d6 instead of 1d4, that's only +1 point of damage per hit on average. 1 in 20 hits backfires, so essentially the cost for 19 extra damage over 19 hits per penalty taken, reversing just the one with a 5th level spell... there's better ways to do 19 damage with a 5th level spell, so probably not really cheating :)
Correct if I'm misremembering the general benefits of the sapient dagger.
I thought the special thing was the extra attack mentioned in the dagger at the top of the comment thread. That would seem very powerful. Your reasoning is sound for the 1d6 dagger though.
You're right about the extra attack, of course; I was too tired to remember or to go back and read again before commenting. I think we'd need a few things clarified before properly balancing an alternate version:
Rolling a 5 or lower on the extra attack's attack roll, or its damage roll? Presumably either way it refers to a raw die value.
"No cap on how often you could attack again" - no cap on uses per day, or could you just make additional attacks within one round until you decided to stop (or died)?
Does using the dagger's additional attack take your bonus action, or is it a free action? This may be answered by #2, since if it's unlimited per round it must be a free action.
3a) If it's essentially a free action, does it get included with a class's Extra Attack? Which is to say, does it count within the activation of that ability for the purpose of anything that might positively (or negatively) impact all the attacks within a given activation of Extra Attack? (Of course, it wouldn't make sense for it to have to count AS one of the class's Extra Attacks, since it would be categorically worse as it would just invoke the risk with no compensating benefit.)
Sword with fire enchantment, fire has no regulator and cannot be turned off.
Sword II: HAS a regulator but needs to be monitored because using it for too long may melt it. And needs to cool down before sheathing.
Hate it when my sword thermal throttles in the middle of combat.
Caltrops of Seeking. Drawn to metal and increase chance to damage/hit metal boots.
They stick together though and must be manually placed one by one over an extended period of time.
Wouldn't metal boots protect your feet from the caltrops?
Sword of ghostly might: One owned by a powerful warrior who came back as a vengeful spirit. Neglects to mention that the sword is also a ghost, and therefore can only deal damage to spirits.
The "Sword of Instant Regret". It does 100% DMG, but only stabs the wielder.
Magic rope - an animated rope that can be commanded to levitate and tie knots. When placed in any container, pouch or pocket, it immediately gets tangled up and take 1d6 minutes per 5ft of rope to untangle. Other objects in the container also become tangled with the rope, and take 1d6 minutes to remove individually, entangled objects are released immediately when the entire rope is untangled.
Magic rope is unable to be cut by any non-magical item.
Should be a Dexterity check per 5ft per 1d6 minutes to make it even more diabolical.
"Wizards with Guns" did a couple of sketches based on this concept.
Cloak of Levitation, but it just lets you float a foot off the ground without moving.
Hulk Strength, but dumber than Hulk. You smash anything in the area, including your supplies/allies/horse...
Cap of Invisibility, but you can't see anything either.
Scroll of Gorilla Warfare. When used summons 15 gorillas. These gorillas are wild and do not obey orders given by the caster.
The gorillas disappear after 1d12 rounds. This effect 'echoes' 1d6 times, effectively recasting the spell after 1d6 rounds.
Flail of Flatulence: deals an additional 1d4 of embarrassment to the target while dealing 1d4 of gas damage to everything within 6 meters.
Sword of Bludgeoning
+5 impact damage -2 stab damage
Only 10% off, because pommel strikes are op
A magic sword that can instantly kill anything it touches but it's stuck in it sheath and can't be removed.
That's just a regular YA novel sword
I feel like this would fit here nicely
Invisibility potion that turns your digestive track and stomach contents invisible.
Lembas bread but it's 1000 years past it's due date and you will get diarrhoea equivalent to its food value.
you can show it to a sailor and they'll start uncontrollably screaming in horror
if you clack two pieces together the sound is loud enough to rupture eardrums
Id risk it
Axe with increased crit range (both sides)
Flaming sword (no off switch; do not keep near oil, pa}er, etc.
Shock arrows with electrical damage, stun on crit, compulsion to say some wsgelord shit next time youre talking to a new person each time you use one (non-stacking)
Cold spear, extra bonus damage beyond normal, weather table is always like two steps worse (please get it the fuck out of the city!)
Holy sword-but the sword has incentives to make you act like a cliche of how not to play a paladin
Wand of magic missile (can only target abstractions)
Wand of fireball (two charges per user. Not usable by everyone; made by an angry dramatic kinky trans woman)
Immovable rod (no off switch)
Staff of teleport (fixed targets for each charge, comes with the list. Maybe.)
Tome of stat boost (obnoxious)-comes with compulsions (gym bro[toxic], yoga[toxic], raw milk/crunchiness, quoting Nietzsche or von neumann or something at every opportunity, talking in parables, cringe political opinions)
Bracers of archery, must attempt to do everything with an arrow, thrown knife, or other projectile if even remotely plausible.
Cloak of resistance, resists being worn, being taken off
Magic carpet (ugly)
Magic carpet, slightly funny smelling, totally not from an extraplanar brothel, loses its power for a week if washed.
Glasses of true seeing (also everyone's naked)
Glasses of 'true' seeing (or high tech HUD in a cyberpunk setting), functions as normal, but also projects useful information like phrenology charts, relevant conspiracy theories, the best applicable slurs all in a helpful opaque overlay.
Container of endless water (gross) theres like chunks of algae and stuff, a little silt, definitely at least brackish.
Flagon of endless beer (insultingly cheap, but will still get you drunk. Eventually.) Loojs exactly with, and is magically connected to its twin: flagon of endless actual-cat-piss
Skull of Corruption: It can do damage, but most of the time to your invaluable backup files.
Magic sword of infinite sharpness.
Sheathing the sword, or holding it by the hilt, quillons, or pommel causes it to become incredibly heavy.
Flaming sword. Only the handle sets on fire.
And I'm stealing that idea for my game, and that one, and this one is cool too ...
Praytell the price on yon banana blade to your left, fair merchant? I find it somewhat a-peeling
Bag of Olding: A very generously sized bag of holding, however it unfortunately speeds up the passage of time significantly inside it. Don't store food in it!
A magical sword that extends, but the longer you have it, the longer the incantation you have to say to get it to extend... Maybe show it some pictures of people cleaved in two, or try stabbing somewhere else to get it going.
This sword is enchanted with fire magic!
...The handle is made of super flammable material, though, and a bunch of people got third degree burns trying to weild it. There was a massive recall.
You know what "recall" means, though? Collector's item! These are rare af.
Harder tack: Magically compressed ships biscuits, commissioned by an admiral who heard of lembas bread but found it too expensive. His corpse was found in the harbour waters a week later.
One contains enough calories to last you a week of hard work, but you need a chisel and a sledgehammer to crack it into pieces and one hand-sized biscuit weighs 3kg. It tastes like cement dust.
Amulet of speak with the dead - cursed. Once attuned the user can speak with the dead, but can only interpret chat with the living as wailing, any attempts to speak with the living will sound like wailing to the other entity. Removing the item does not break the curse.
Reminds me of this CalebCity's sketch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8Mh9LPNAkI
Wand of magic missile.
Occasionally shoots cum.
OK so what's the downside?
Ask the beholder you were trying to hit with a magic missile.