Spyke
lemm.ee

This classification system is deeply flawed but one of the most obvious ways is failing to recognize that quiche is an arbitrarily over specific example of what its category should ACTUALLY be called, which is obviously PIE.

PIZZA IS PIE TOO. The crust puffing up elevated at the edges contains the ingredients within.

And in this case, a stuffed crust pizza is indeed a PIE SURROUNDED BY A CALZONE.

Alternatively surrounded by a burrito.

72
lemmy.world

if you're looking at the whole pizza pie, the crust doesn't have open sides so it's a calzone. if you're looking at a single slice, it's sushi.

8

*turns bread into rice

"sushi" refers to the rice, fish is optional (but popular)

1
lemm.ee

then again, this is a a loop-shaped calzone... topologically, a torus. the chart doesn't even have an entry for that, but i'm ok with provisionally classifying it as a calzone

2

I feel like the chart needs a torus entry like some kind of filled doughnut, but I also think a rolled, filled torus is closer to a sushi roll than a calzone. I think everyone is just settling on calzone because we are talking about pizza and ignoring the structure and shape which is what this is about. How does a torus fit into the cube rule anyway? You can only consider it as the base structure which is a tube, ie sushi.

1
kasereply
lemmy.world

What's your opinion on thin-crust pizza? Is it toast? I feel like it's toast.

5

I just questioned this elsewhere and am in full agreement. Should be a pie.

4

Your comment makes me think that we're missing (at least) one of configurations on the diagram, the one where two bases are perpendicular to each other. A slice of pizza will have that configuration, but I am too culinary-challenged to imagine anything else by that shape to name it after 🤔

4
lemmy.world

So a poorly wrapped burrito is sushi but a properly wrapped one is a calzone. th'fuck?

64

And if you start eating a properly wrapped one, it turns into a quiche 🤔

12

That's how I'm referring to it from now on. I just need to know what I call Arepas.

2

Since bread cannot be attached to language in any orientable way, you are right: It ain't a sandwich, it's a salad!

11
lemmy.ca

I would find it a tad odd to refer to a hotdog as simply a sandwich, because we have a more precise and common word for it, but I would understand nonetheless.

Not just because of this debate, but also because when you use the ingredients separately you get weiner sandwiches and hot dog bun sandwiches.

It would be odd to call champagne wine, but still understandable. Same for calling a lava lamp an incandescent light. Actually, this would probably work for lots of genericized tradmarks, like jello, bandaid, dumpster, zamboni, kleenex, zipper, velcro, and so on.

6
ladreply
programming.dev

Well, in the case when a table is empty except for the hotdog sandwich in question, I would maybe understand. But I imagine myself to be quite dumbfounded with such a naming

4

At this point, it's pretty hard to find a natural opinion on hotdogs as sandwiches sunce everyone has heard of the great sandwich debate, but I don't think it's a big leap. I think calling a hamburger a sandwich is about as weird, for example.

1

This one I can get behind. A delicious cheesy noodle tomato meat cake. Yumm.

5
lemmy.today

A slice of pizza is, indeed, a toast! With a lot of stuff on top.

24
Alleroreply
lemmy.today

The hardened browned crumb of a toast is, essentially, a small crust! That's how pies get it too!

PIE IS A TOAST!!!

6
lemmy.world

According to this diagram it makes it a quiche. The definition should be a tart, a quiche is a savoury custard tart.

That would make the pizza a tart.

A pie would be a calzone according to this diagram.

1

Is a pie a type of quiche or did the OP choose too narrowly? Is a quiche a type of pie? Should they be reversed?

1

I would argue that according to this diagram, stuffed crust is in fact a sushi tube connecting to itself in a circle around the pizza.

24
kboy101222reply
sh.itjust.works

Hear me out -

It's a ring torus with a a different substance inside.

It's a filled donut.

11
Mok98reply
feddit.it

No hole in the middle, filled donut stuck to a toast maybe?

6
lemmy.world

I think stuffed crust is sushi attached to toast

21
nulreply
programming.dev

Everyone in this thread ignoring that sushi refers to the style and preparation of the rice. The rolled sushi is maki, literally "to roll."

9

Everyone in this thread is ignoring a lot, mostly that vastly different preparation methods van make the same structure, and the same method vastly different structures. Like pasta, which category you get depends on exactly what kind you have.

4
lemmy.world

A stuffed crust pizza would be a calzone only when it's still yet to be cut into slices.

The moment a slice is removed from the whole would be when it becomes sushi.

5

I was thinking the same, but then realized it's probably just quiche.

3
lemmy.world

only in a single slice. if we're looking at the whole pizza pie, it's a calzone in a circle around a toast.

19
BluesFreply
lemmy.world

I don't believe that a torus is homeomorphic to a cube, so in fact the stuffed crust is not adequately explained by the cube model. We can approximate the stuffed crust by modelling either as sushi or calzone and receive adequate results.

16
InputZeroreply
lemmy.ml

The sushi model is more robust as it more accurately defines the thermal dynamics of the stuffed crust system. A calzone model includes closed off face, while the faces can be pinched to an infinitesimal point to create a stuffed crust like pizza. Those faces still introduce a thermal graduate to the cheese and won't replicate the results of when we cook our awesome pizza. If instead we permit the sushi model to exist in non-eucludian space we can accurately define a stuffed crust pizza with the sushi model by bending our dimensions. As a result of this the cheese-face interface is better described however it also must exclude the calzone model for describing a stuffed crust pizza.

Thank you for coming to my bullshit TED talk.

7
BluesFreply
lemmy.world

I realise that we have thus far only considered the crust as a separate entity, which is of course toroidal (and for which we should evidently add a new form to the model for - I would propose the 'doughnut'), however the full pizza with a stuffed crust is not - it has no hole. By compressing the centre of a calzone until the top and bottom faces meet we reach the full stuffed crust pizza. Perhaps we've been wrong all along...

5

By George I think you have it! Using radial coordinates and a calzone model a pizza is toast but a stuffed crust pizza is a calzone. How could I have never seen this before?! It's brilliant!

5

Welcome to topology where your mug is a toroid and the orientation matters a lot.

15
sh.itjust.works

A single slice of stuffed crust would be a sushi attached to a toast. The ends are open once you cut it into a slice. A FULL stuffed crust would be a calzone and a toast.

14
lemmy.world

Not necessarily. A burrito can have one or both ends closed off. So it can also be a quiche or a calzone.

13
yimbyreply
lemmy.ca

Yeah that topology is probably better described as burrito

5
lemmy.ml

Burritos are closed on the ends, my Mexican food-challenged amigo.

10

I feel like taco is too specific and that there is a better word that covers tacos and submarines. I just can’t come up with the word…

2

If the top of your burrito is open, you should find another taqueria.

No such thing as a convertible burrito.

2

Isn't sashimi a salad? Nigiri would be toast. Temaki would be a quiche.

6

Wouldn’t a slice of stuffed crust pizza be sushi attached to toast as the slicing opens up the ends?

7
lemmy.cafe

the cube rule identification theory is ridiculous and i have always said so

7
mander.xyz

Salad theory is rigid and respectable.

Cube rule of food identification exists to be disproven aggressively for comedy and arguing. It's a good time, until the person that believes it so truly they would kill and die to call a cheese roll up sushi arrives. They can make the conversation stressful.

3

Calzone until you bite into it. Then it's a quiche. This is a good system and makes a lot of sense.

8
lemmy.world

I am always telling people this in the is-a-hotdog-a-sandwich debate, and this diagram makes it abundantly clear:

A hotdog is a taco.

7
Credditreply
lemmy.world

Nope! It has bread on three sides, so it's a taco.

Sandwiches only have bread on two sides.

4

If you tear the bun, you've got a sandwich on your hands for sure!

1
brianorcareply
lemmy.world

Pretty sure chips are toast in this diagram. Or maybe it depends if they are potato or tortilla chips.

9
lhamil64reply
programming.dev

It probably depends on the type chip. If they're the scoops tortilla chips, they would be quiche.

4

A stuffed crust pizza is only a calzone attached to toast until you cut into it. At that point it becomes sushi attached to toast.

6
lemmy.world

Calzones are in the hand pie family along with Cornish pasties and empanadas

1

Humans are Salad.

Unless they are still digesting, than they are often salad with croutons.

4

Sushi is just made with sushi rice. It has literally nothing to do with the shape of the food.

3

A calzone, the ends aren't open. A wellington is usually shown cut but that doesn't change its identification

2

Wouldn't a stuffed crust be sushi? It's a tube, it just connects until you slice the pizza

3
lemmy.world

What about the Danish French Hotdog? Where does that fit in?

2
lemmy.world

I'd rename two categories.

Bottom right: I'd rather refer to a cake as "lasagna" than call lasagna a "cake"

Bottom left: if someone made a quiche without walled sides I'd still call it a quiche, so I'd rather call that category "pie"

This has the added bonus of making most pie people furious and some pizza people angry unless they like Chicago deep dish.

1
  1. Isn’t “lasagna”, as we refer to it, technically a casserole made with layers of lasagne, cheese, and sauce? Not that “casserole” is a category, but I’m just being pedantic at this point, soz

  2. I’ve always maintained that pizza is a tart rather than a pie

2

Flatbread yes. Most people I know either stuff their pita or fold it, so that would be a taco?

2

Imagine people thinking food cam be categorized consistently like that.

Food is cultural and historical; nothing outside of its preparation is scientific or internally logically consistent, so stop trying to force it to be.

A hot dog is a damn hot dog. Now stop arguing about it, and get this crap off of my feed

-5
lemmy.ca

The usernames add a whole new layer to this thread. "Pink drunken elephant" having a serious and sober look at the conversation and how stupid it is, and "get off the drugs dude" happily continuing this bizarre and pointless conversation.

2